The funniest thing I ever saw language wise was friends family in Meran. The father was ethnically Italian, was having a conversation with his wife, an ethnic Austrian. The father was speaking German, the mother answering in Italian. The son was speaking English to both of them. The phone rang, the son answered in Italian, then held out the phone to the mother, saying it was for her in German. When asked no one realized they were doing this.
that's hilarious!! 😄 (although for that family it's probably just their everyday life; happens in my family too, and probably to many outside the English-speaking world)
Me and my wife are trying to do the same. I am Italian, she was born in Romania, and we both live in Germany. 😅 Our kid is coming soon, and it will be a mixture of languages for sure 🤣
Please raise your kids bilingual or multilingual if you have the chance to do so. When I was younger, I thought my parents were weird because they would speak to me in English, French and Chinese. I can't even begin to explain you how grateful I am for having had such an opportunity.
YES! My 7 year old daughter speaks 3 languages. Growing up in a French American family, we kids learning French was the last thing our elders wanted. Because that was their secret code, for gossiping in front of young ears. But they made the fatal mistake of sending us to a kindergarten, owned by a Parisian woman, who taught French A LOT! And we soaked it up like sponges! I'll never forget, one day my cousin and I came home, laughing, and singing, and speaking in French! The old folks faces fell like avalanches, not because of us, but because of our older siblings! Priceless! What might they know? Anyway, knowledge is power, and more power to kids!!!
Exactly. A friend of mine from Puerto Rico spoke only English to his kids. His wife (also Puerto Rican) spoke only Spanish. His son would talk to me in Spanish or English depending upon what he was thinking in at the moment. After some initial issues in school, both did very well and are fully bilingual. Both of my kids HAD some German, but have mostly lost it (as have I unfortunately).
@@marcobossi1749, nice, but it's only possible if you're bilingual yourself (or your partner, or both in the same), otherwise you might teach your children mistakes in said languages, which they can't lose any more!
This was delightful! Thanks. I lived in Germany for 14 months with the US Army. I found it so fun when children would yell out of cars, “Hello, how are you?” Because they wanted to practice their English. I always admired Germany for teaching kids 2 languages!
And also kinda embarrassing too, because we Americans don’t know German. I remember the first time I went off base by myself. I was at this small corner store, and I was looking at German drinks. A college student started speaking German to me, and I was just “uhh… spreken ze english?”.
A big part of that though is Americans don't really NEED to learn a second (or third) language. 1) We live in a huge nation where most speak the common language. Our neighbors to the north also mostly speak the same language. It's only along rhe southern border where knowing Spanish is helpful....but not really necessary. 2) English is essentially the world default lingua franca. Most educated folks worldwide will have a working knowledge of it, if not conversational.
You should admire almost every european country then. Together with some other country's the netherlands teaches more languages. Like german and sometimes even french aswell. I personally speak frisian, dutch and english fluently my german sadly not that good.
@@armynurseboyGermans (and other Europeans) also don't NEED to learn more languages. 😅 It's mandatory at school, so we HAVE to! And regarding Americans: Sure you will get by in your own country but what if you travel? I was totally lost in Italy when I urgently needed to find a gas station but the only 3 people I found that I could ask (late night, rural area) only spoke Italian and I didn't even know the Italian word for gasoline! When I was in Mexico City, the hotel receptionist didn't speak any English (but my Spanish is good enough to get by). French people often speak very limited or no English either.
Feli, I grow more impressed with Ben every time he appears on your channel. The wisdom you both show in using differences to build a stronger, more joyful relationship is a powerful lesson both for close relationships and in how we treat others daily.
@@SignorLuigigood point. The best proof of friendly intent in demeaning humor is that the author finds it equally funny if someone tosses a comparable barb back at them. So, hopefully, Brian got a good laugh at my reply.
I have been married to my German wife for 30 years. Many of cultural things you mention were relevant and continue to be relevant to this day. One of the magical things I learned from her was "Urmel aus dem Eis". Since living in Germany I've had the opportunity to visit Augsburger Puppenkiste.
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death. I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse. Also, you are more likely to be much more closer to someone who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a romantic partner or spouse. People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
@@icysnow57cold64Hey, I can tell that you're hurting. I want you to know that you don't need a romantic partner to be happy. Friends can be enough. However, if you want a long term romantic partner, they should ideally be your best friend too. A lasting romantic relationship needs two be built on at least two, possibly three types of love: 1 Agape (selfless love) 2) Philia (Affectionate/platonic love), and 3 Eros (Sexual/passionate love). There really are multiple different types of love. The English language really doesn't do it justice.
@@rosered5485 Most people consider their platonic best friend to be their soulmate rather than their romantic partner or spouse. Platonic relationships and romantic relationships may be two entirely different things, but that doesn't mean they are equal when it comes to the amount of love given in them. The love in platonic relationships seems to be way stronger than the love in romantic relationships is since platonic relationships are not fragile like romantic relationships are. Also, platonic relationships also seem to be a lot more intimate and comfortable than romantic relationships are. Platonic love is one of the most purest forms of love there is, while romantic love is one of the least purest forms of love there is. Most people seem to be a lot more comfortable around their platonic best friends than they are around their romantic partners or spouses. A platonic best friend is one of the best things you could ever have. A platonic best friend can be someone you trust the most, and they can be your confidant and coach. People tend to trust their platonic best friends more than their romantic partners, and that's a fact. The concept of romantic love and romantic relationships seems to mostly be a man-made thing.
Y'all are wonderful. I'm 45 and remembering all of the fantastic things with my now-deceased fiancée thanks to you. Mine was German/Palestinian and we lived in Amsterdam. I'm southern US from ATL. He was very Germanly direct, I was just USian pleasing until the Dutch psyche infected me and I could be just as direct after a few months. He loved fast food, I still use an IKEA rack to dry my clothes. I drive a stick if I can. He wouldn't get in a car if he could avoid it. He had a deadly heart attack on his bike from A'dam to Munster to see his mom and sister. I own a gun- a shotgun. He hated the very idea and refused to even visit the US and my family even after I got knocked up. I lost it, we carried on. We had a lovely coffee on a bridge in A'dam. The angrier he got, Feli, he'd switch to German and shout, yell, throw his arms about. I usually went on a walk when that happened I also switch languages when I'm stressed. I'll start in French, mix in some Dutch and German, and finish in English. Southern US, you wait until everyone at the table is sat before you eat. Groceries: I will pack my own bags, especially since we have Aldi and Lidl now. Sorry so long. I'll leave Duth/US/German/Palestinian holidays for now. Wow, I unloaded. Thank you for all the sweet memories you brought up for me and the dead love of my life.
One of the best Christmas stories I ever heard was when German and British troops began singing Christmas Carols on the battlefield on Christmas Eve during WWI. They stopped killing each other and enjoyed Christmas TOGETHER, even exchanging gifts. I'm mad I never hear about this in school and was an adult before I heard about it.
9 месяцев назад+2
During breaks in fighting, they also played football matches.
You two remind me so much of how my wife and I were 43 years ago. Multicultural marriage has some extra baggage to deal with; however, tolerance, understanding, curiosity, and appreciation of each other’s culture will get you through those difficult times. Celebrate the difference, laugh at your quirky cultural based preferences and behavior. Those differences are often what your spouse finds enduring about you.
Also this isn't a muticultural extreme. Both are white, both not religious, both with christian values. Both from the western world. The languages are very similar (with English being a German dialect). And so on. It's a lot more complicated when the mix is across races, religions and parts of the world.
My advice came from a marriage that was across races, religions, and far parts of the world. One can overcome a lot with tolerance and understanding. I made the comment on the day my wife passed away. Months later, I can say that I would do it again despite the difficulties we faced together.
9 месяцев назад
@@spot997 English isn't a German dialect! It's a completely different language.
If I just stumbled into your channel and saw a muted minute of it I'd believe calm Ben was the German and smiling Feli was American. Happy new year both of you and keep on posting☺👍!
The whole "pot vs pod" discussion is pretty hilarious because I'm not a native English speaker, and I had this very long discussion about "mass" and "mess". They sound _exactly_ the same to me, but a Canadian friend was "No, they sound similar, but still clearly different". My point is: Feli, you're not alone there; it happens to all of us.
Yeah, I spent hours trying to help my Russian friend figure out the difference, to no avail unfortunately. Oh and when it comes to pot and pod, the difference in American speakers is even more miniscule than you'd think: the t and d are both pronounced the same (alveolar flap), but there is a slight difference in vowel length in the o sound beforehand (longer in 'pod')
@@guy1524I disagree - they're very distinct in most of the US. I've never ever had trouble distinguishing between the two anywhere in the US. But the thing is, if you didn't grow up with certain sounds, after a certain point people generally lose the ability to hear the sounds their native language didn't have
@@guy1524The only US accents in which I'd imagine these two words could be hard to distinguish would be an either a "Boston" accent or certain NYC accents. But where have you noticed this?
Always nice to get a little more personal look. Thanks for being open to sharing with us, Feli and Ben! Great video to end the year! P.S. 100% with Ben--schnitzel is delightful!
Fun show. I’m an American and my wife is English and we just celebrated our 47th wedding anniversary. We still enjoy the differences between our two cultures. I’m sure both of you will also.
You both are fun to watch! I'm currently living in Germany. Been in Stuttgart for a year already and have been dating a German lady for 5 months now. I had to send her this video to get more insight and possible similarities of our different cultures.
Love this topic and you two! I had two parents from extremely monocultural upbringings (rural 100% Danish Iowa farm mom) and an extremely Irish Catholic Philadelphia dad (a full on ethnic enclave neighborhood.) I lived radical differences...and my grandparents never met because my Irish relatives refused to go to my dad's Lutheran Iowa wedding. :( Then, being raised in the midwest, I landed myself a Texan husband whose family are all from the Deep South! Wild cultural differences that I was not prepared for. Then add in family culture, and my poor husband missed a lot of basic "American kid culture" because his parents scorned most tv, most music, most movies and weren't interested in paying to travel and go places. We've been together 22 years now and it's still fascinating to us how cultural differences pop up and all the navigation that one has to do as a couple and with both sets of parents. Then to make it "more" fun we both became therapists and believe open communication can solve most problems, but deep South can be all indirect, conflict-avoiding but wildly judgemental rules you are supposed to follow but nobody says what they are. Good times for me! lol
Regarding switching languages while arguing, many Americans were raised on I Love Lucy reruns. Ricky, Lucy's husband in the show (and in real life), was from Cuba. Ricky would sometimes switch to Spanish when arguing. That may give some the impression that some non-native speakers will switch to their mother tongue when arguing.
I think it heavly depends on how fluent you are in the language you are speaking. The more fluent you are, the lesser is the chance of you slipping into your native language while arguing
I am not even fluent in my mom’s first language (Greek) but I picked up more than I realized, especially when it came to angry outbursts and less than appropriate (cussing) language. My mom lost a lot her Greek by the time I was born. And her parents died when I was a kid so I didn’t really get a lot of time to learn.
My oh my! I am an American woman in my 70’s who has experienced two long term international relationships. The first was with a German woman who had lived in the US for nearly 20 years. I moved with her to Northern Germany (Husum, north of Hamburg) and lived there for ten years out in the countryside. This was more than 30 years ago and the only person at that time with whom I had contact who spoke fluent English, was her. My German language skills then included saying “my name is” and “where is a taxi”. She worked for Apple Computer at their international headquarters in Paris and was gone during the week, coming home on Friday evenings, flying back to Paris on Monday. “Home” was a house built in 1872 which underwent extensive reconstruction during the first two years. I lived there the entire time. The first architect spoke a limited English. When we first moved in, the house had a bathroom on the “bottom” floor and one on the upper floor. In JANUARY, this person decided that it would be practical to REMOVE both bathrooms at the same time, in order to better facilitate the reconstruction. When I protested, she was surprised and told me, “But you can easily go outside to the bushes.” !!!!???? I ask, “What about all the male construction workers?” “Oh they won’t mind!” “And how am I supposed to wash myself?” Rather puzzled she replied, “But of course you heat water on the stove.” An absolutely FRANTIC call to Paris put a stop to this architects “plan”. One morning some few months later, I woke up to male laughter. When I opened my eyes, three jolly bricklayers were making comments in Plattdeutschere while they removed the bricks from my bedroom wall in order to install new windows as I lay naked, sleeping in my bed. (I was covered by a sheet.) Can you imagine waking up like that? Fortunately these men were true gentlemen. When they were certain that I was awake, they left the scaffolding giving me time to grab my clothes and run. For the rest of their bricklaying work, they treated me with gentle respect, bless them. I PROMISE that I am neither exaggerating nor imagining! Not too long after, we hired a new architect. But talk about culture shock! 🤪☺️
Sie hatten es in Husum echt schwer! Keine Frau in Schleswig Hokstein würde sich aud solche Probleme einlassen.Ich wohne in einem Dorf 30 minuten entfernt. Hätte ich Sie nur damals gekannt! Ich war segeln ohne Klo,dass war der Horror. Liebe Grüsse aus Jübek❤❤❤
I love this! I am American but lived in Germany from 1 yo to 9 yo then Italy from 9 yo to 13 yo. Have been back in USA since is was 13 but having grown up in Europe I had the opportunity to grow up in other cultures which my parents made a point to explore those cultures. We still have many of traditions from time in Germany & Italy but also American traditions. I have definitely introduced my husband to many different traditions over the years, most of which he has enjoyed.
You two are so cute together!! You guys look for differences in your lives and cultures so you can learn and share with each other. ( and us!) Your relationship seems so fresh and happy. Good for you!!!!!
I really enjoy your videos, partly because you remind me of my grandchildren's generation, but also because I grew up two years in Spain, two in Italy as a "navy brat", and the multicultural aspect is interesting. I spent years overseas as a Marine and that plays a part as well. I'm glad you get along so well and hope you truly enjoy your lives together. It's good to see a young couple in love.
I'm from Ohio, my husband is from Illinois. We have very few common childhood memories. He wasn't allowed to listen to pop music, I didn't have video games. Even just boy toys vs girl toys. So many things! Completely different cultures is of course a different level, but there will always be differences and I love your outlook....embracing and learning.
Ihr seid mega magisches Paar, ich habe großes Respekt für euch! Ben ist ein Typ, der genau richtig glücklich und nicht unangenehm fühlt, dass diese Fragen beantwortet wurden sollten. Liebe Grüße aus Österreich 😊
@@FelifromGermany No one WANTS to shoot someone, but if they are threatening your safety it is justified and one can be in a situation where one HAS to. As bad as it is to have to do that, it sure beats being a victim yourself. We don't need to get guns off the street; we need to get violent people off the street. Virtually every homicide in my state ends with the reporter saying and the suspect has a long history of violent crime. My state has let violent people run loose with great frequency going on 6 decades now. That's what needs to stop. When Charlie Beck was police chief in Los Angeles, he said he doesn't want the law loosened to allow people to carry guns, never mind that the 6 safest states in the USA all allow carry, claiming it'd put his officers at risk. Those who are a risk to his officers all carry despite the laws against it. The only people stopped from carrying a gun by a law are those who would never dream of being violent. How odd that he thinks his officers should be able to carry their guns for defense, and that is why police carry guns, but the rest of us should not be able to. How is a police officer's life more worth defending than yours or mine? My mom worked for a sheriff's department when I was a kid, and one of the deputies said something I'll never forget. He said the last thing on most people's mind is harming anyone, and if you gave such a person a gun they could run around all week and STILL the last thing on their mind would be harming anyone. The only difference is that if they are attacked they can defend themselves. Indeed, when we did prohibit carry of guns in the USA the homicide rate was multiples higher than before or since. I didn't quite tell the whole truth. Vermont is the one state that never prohibited carry, and their homicide rate remained low all along. Allowing people who've proved themselves capable of wanton violence run free emboldens them, and if they "answer" to their continued violence is to disarm those who are not violence it emboldens them more. Since Ohio went to permitless carry it has seen a decrease in the homicide rate statewide and in 6 of the 8 biggest cities in the state. We have a real problem in left leaning cities like Los Angeles, New Orleans, St. Louis, NYC with district attorneys refusing to prosecute people for violent crimes and yet actually trying to prosecute those who have to shoot someone in self defense. That's absolutely backwards.
Liebe Feli,Deine Videos gefallen mir sehr! Ich (60+) lerne dadurch gutes Englisch und erfahre die kulturellen Unterschiede. Ich bewun9dere Deine schnelle Aussprache.Ben und Du, ihr seid ein tolles Paar!!! ❤❤❤ Ich wünsche Euch eine glückliche gemeinsame Zukunft!!! Uta aus SH
My gf and I went to high school together (class of 1976). We didn't see each other, and weren't really friends in school, and got together because we were on the reunion committee. We've been together for three years. We know so many of the same things from growing up together. I also dated a Swedish girl in the 80s and lived in Sweden for almost three years. That was fun too because we learned a lot about our cultures.
You guys were really open with so much here. This was really insightful because of that! To your question about arguing in German I remember my Pennsylvania Dutch grandparents, who grew up speaking both German and English, would sometimes discuss their disagreements (I never remember them actually arguing) in German. It's because I wanted to understand what they were saying that I learned to speak a fair amount of Pennsylvania Dutch. Thanks, guys. Happy New Year to you both! 🎆🎉
This is why I think why a lot of people who know just a few words in their parent's or grandparent's native language know just the swears and the insults. If they only time they switched from English to their native language were disagreements, it became motivation to learn those words
Being from the Pennsylvania Dutch and growing up as a military brat, I realized at a young age that the phone rang and my pop started to speak in Dutch, it meant bad news on the other end. Also figured out that when they switched from English to Dutch while you were present, they were talking about you!
I'm German and I don't understand much when hearing Pennsylvania Dutch bc it's not fully intelligible to modern German but I do understand Texas German which doesn't sound too different from regular German
@@edithputhy4948 I would agree, but in the area , it is just a given. When you go to most bars, you ask for a lager, you don't have to ask for a Yuengling Lager by name, it's a given. Also, a very popular saying is "If you ain't Dutch, you ain't much", only the locals get it!
A lot of times persons will speak in their 'native' language with another who understands it so can hide from those of another language to not know what they are talking about. Ben, go for the ring and go official. Don't let Feli get away from you ! I love how Feli speaks in English almost as quickly as a 3rd generation USA born American like me and I can understand her. Of course she has a great personality, beautiful and smart, a delight to see her videos.
it‘s funny as this is a video on intercultural differences, but as a German female (and I think this is something most German-raised people, male or female would agree with) I find the American mentality of „put a ring on it“ really strange and somewhat disconcerting. First of all, is anyone expecting me to just take off with someone else, if we aren‘t getting married? Second, is anyone saying that just because we got married, I might not still take off if it doesn‘t work out? I guess marriage to most people my generation at least (90s kid) is nothing more than a party with the family to publicly celebrate the sincerity both partners feel with regards to their relationship. And also tax benefits, at least in Germany 😅. Then again I do have some female friends who are sort of waiting for their boyfriends to propose already. They are on the same page with their partners regarding future marriage and, like Feli and Ben, have agreed on the „traditional“ proposal, but apparently the ladies want to just get on with it already. So that can happen in all-German relationships, too. I‘m hoping you aren‘t put off by a long comment on a 3-month old humorous post, I just realized an interesting cultural discrepancy and wanted to point it out, feeling as though you might find it equally interesting, since you just watched a video on intercultural differences 😅
My mother is an immigrant from England. My father is an immigrant from Brazil. I was 11 in 1982 when the Falkland war broke out. There were actually two wars. There was a war in the south Atlantic, and there was the war in our home . The war in the south Atlantic was over much faster. There’s is a lessons in this for couples from different nationalities .
Ben seems to be a very honest/upstanding guy...you are blessed to have each other,my wife is from Mexico but doesn't speak English very well ,but she does understand a bit-we have been married 15 yrs.,we are still both learning quite a bit of each others culture,there is a large Latino community where we live so I think that has made it harder for her to fully immerse herself in the American way,which in some cases that is not necessarily a bad thing...great topic,wish you both the best
I'm from Mexico (100% indigenous Zapotec, from Oaxaca), but my boyfriend is an American. I know English pretty well, but my boyfriend doesn't know much Spanish. So, we converse in English. lol
6:39 and advent wreath is actually quite common in Catholic households in the US during advent. My family has one. Its not always lit because *fire hazard* but its usually up around Christmas.
Love to hear that you watch Sissi as a Christmas movie in Germany. Love these 3 movies. Watch them so many times, Romy Schneider has been one of my favorites actress for a very long time. Wondering if Ben’s love the movies as much though, it is historical but mostly a love story. Happy New Year from 🇨🇦
Hi, I don't even recall how or because of what RUclips sent me to your channel, but...... I'm glad they did. I took three year of German in high school.... all "A"s. But, My ears can't keep up with the speed. Plus, I'm 70 now so that's 52 years ago. Wow! This was a great episode. Hearing you both sharing cross-cultural perspectives and perceptions is fantastic. Now, with so many comments odds are not great that you will read this especially since it is a year old. Well, thanks for the really cool and personal revelations. Blessings!!
I'd never evern considered that the different childhoods would be a bad thing! I'm from the US but in the UK and married an English guy - I moved here 9 years ago and met him about 6 months in, but after nearly a decade we still find random stuff the other has never heard of and get to enjoy it/laugh at it/realise how actualyl bizarre it is together! (Just last week I ended up googling Apple Jacks commercials. . . he showed me a Princess Diana flavoured soda from the 90s)
@@unniramesh5733well part of the reason why they aren’t part of Germany is thanks to Hitler annexing them and the Allie’s after the war going nope not again
@@FelifromGermany Nur mal so fürs Protokoll...NATÜRLICH WARTET man bis jeder sein essen serviert bekommen hat bevor man anfängt zu essen. Wenn man GEMEINSAM essen geht..dann isst man auch ZUSAMMEN. Is mir scheiß egal wo jemand herkommt. Und wenn ich jemals wieder da drüben im Urlaub sein und öffis nutzen sollte. Sollte ich jemals sehen das einer nicht für ne hochschwangere oder ne 98 jahre alte person aufsteht. Lass ich da den hammer kreisen...selbst in Brooklyn...Brownville...um 3 uhr morgens am samstag. 😁 #wordisbond
I have been in an intercultural (and interracial) marriage for 29 years (together for 31). Yes, there are adjustments but the richness it brings is wonderful. I wish you two all the promise and blessings the relationship holds.
I find this topic very enjoyable as someone who's been in an intercultural/interracial relationship, American/Chinese for nearly 30 years now and has been a foreigner living in China for almost 25 of those years. It makes me think of all the times my wife and I have had similar questions to think about. I think it's kept our lives interesting and our son got to grow up Tri-lingual as we lived in an area where they spoke a different dialect than what my wife spoke So our son speaks English, Mandarin & Cantonese plus learned French and Spanish in High School! Great video as always
Hey...Thanks guys. Y'all seem to relate and talk to each other well. Ben, I have been in and through KY many times, I'm from the Piedmont region of SC. We sit still and mind our manners at the Supper table, we shoot .22s off of the porch, and we learn to drive on dirt roads. You guys will do well....Good luck.
I’d love a part 2, there was so much to talk about. I’m glad y’all enjoy each other well, and deal with each other respectfully. Makes me hope or gives me hope in finding my person.
25:43 Honestly, I'm a native British English speaker, and _I_ don't really hear the difference between "T" and "D" when Americans say it. Like, they sound so similar in American English, I think we're much better at making a clear distinction here. Like, when Americans say "water" - a word they're always talking about how we say - to me it sounds like they're saying "waaderrr".
Feli, I think what you are noticing in American accents in terms of "dropping" T sounds is the use of a glottal stop for a T in colloquial speech rather than an aspirated T sound. Aspirated T sounds are much more common in many upper class English accents, or if an American is carefully trying to pronounce a word. For example, in a word like "written," in common American accents, the T sound is replaced by a glottal stop (the sound you make when saying uh-oh), while if someone was carefully pronouncing it, the might clearly aspirate the T. This can also happen at the ends of words like "hate, great, right" etc. and I think that may be what you're hearing when it sounds like the T is being "dropped."
but also, Feli was right when she mentioned that the German language doesn‘t phonetically differentiate between a t and d ending, same with b and p endings. According to linguists, it‘s one of the reasons German sounds like a very hard language to non-native speakers. Also, we use the glottal stop in front of words that start with a vocal, which yet again disrupts the flow of a sentence, makes individual words more distinctive and again, makes the German language sound harsher. The English language only does that on the first word of a sentence, that starts with a vocal. Basically in German you put a stop between all the words in a sentence, phonetically speaking.
No they are fine - 6:22 - I usually put up my natural x-Mas on 8th of Dec. (Festa dell'Immacolata Concezione) as my granny was of Italian descent, they use actually mostly trees in a planter. We keep the tree until the 2nd of Feb. M.Lichtmäß/Candelmass. They are usually good, but only in one year, I had to "eject" the tree in Knut-Style earlier as it has lost nearly all its needles. I usually chop the tree around the 1st of Advent. It stays outside in water until the 7th - then it is slowly adapted to inside temperatures, 1st step entrance, then cellar, then hallway before finally arriving at the 8th in the drawing room, the stem is freshly cut again and always supplied with fresh water. this way the tree stays good. As it is next to the chimney the needles literally fossilize on the branches, they harden but do not fall. :)
You guys need to do a Zoom or Facetime collab video with Nick (NALF) and his German girlfriend Laura. She's been on a few if his videos and comes across as sweet and smart and her English is very good.
Hey! American that was living outside of Munich in the early 2000’s 👋 Christmas in Germany was magical experience for my family when we lived there! Love your videos and content! Servus! 🇩🇪 🇺🇸
Feli, Than you very much for this! I feel like as someone who has spent most of his childhood growing up in both cultures (living on a US Army base in Germany, but going to German school), I should probably start my own RUclips Channel talking about my very unique experiences - being totally comfortable with the habits and quirks of both societies (yet still preferring to live in the US vs. Germany)
Other fun cultural difference. Ben (being American the thought counts and the effect, facts is secondary): I want it 1000% Feli (German, fact first all the time): 100%, yeah That got me smiling
When it comes to shooting guns in the backyard, it depends on the backyard. If you have the appropriate backyard, set up properly, there a lot of rifles that you can safely shoot in that backyard which many gun ranges are not built for and do not allow. Of course, I’m not talking about backyards in subdivisions; it takes a good amount of land and proper care to have a safe backyard gun range. When it comes to self defense and defending your family, people should put as many barriers between themselves and both physical & legal peril as possible.
I think that the thing about switching to German when you're mad is a thing people do in a bilingual family. My cousins are bilingual in French and Dutch, and when I was at their place, I would hear them speaking Dutch (and my Dutch level is very low so I would not understand a thing) and then suddenly my aunt, when she was mad about something, she would start to yell in French even tho she was speaking in Dutch a second before. And she did it of course because she knew that my cousins and my uncle understand French
I have never seen "Sissi". I recently found out that "Die Hard" has, for some reason utterly inexplicable, become a Christmas movie, like " A Christmas Story" or "Miracle on 34th Street".. Ask Ben to explain "Die Hard" if need be. We live in an irony-rich environment. Happy New Year!
Ben seems very bright and kind. As an American I'd say he's a breath of fresh air. I appreciate that Feli is very independent (like my wife)....I'm not fans of dependent people...and why doesn't he learn to speak German? I'm a combat veteran. Guns are not fun. They are tools, not toys. BTW, does he like spaetzle?
That's a mature sane attitude about a relationship: communicate, discover if you're on the same page about things. It's insane how many people get married and haven't discussed things beforehand.
I am of first generation of Canadian Dutch heritage; whereas, my wife is of first generation Canadian Italian heritage. Sharing these cultures are wonderful for your children.
Funny Misunderstanding: My Bavarian wife says she was "standing on the light", (waiting for the traffic light to change). I told her she better get down from there.
Quite interesting. I didn't have a chance to ask a question, but if I did I would ask about a couple of things: First, Germany is much more rule oriented than America is. Are there ever conflicts in this area? Second, Germans are notoriously blunt in discussing things that bother them, Americans are more interested in feelings and not offending each other. How do you survive this difference? Thanks for your videos!
I know you didn't ask me, but it's something I think having lived here in Germany for a few years and having studied a fair amount of stuff across the board, German rule orientation came primarily from different cultural movements throughout the 20th century. A lot of German - American culture and things from a social aspect came from 19th and earlier centuries of Germany. Imo, having grown up in Kansas and Indiana in heavily German influenced areas, I personally find the social aspect not so different. Then again, I live in Stuttgart, have lived in the Black Forest, most GA families came from the Southwestern part of Germany, and you know the concept of becoming the parents? Family home culture? All you have to do is talk to people particularly adult adult and they open up and a strikingly similar midwestern friendliness can come out. Not all Americans are totally into the idea of feelings and offending. Americans mostly want to be civil, respectful, polite, (like most other functioning societies) and the overarching niceness is mostly actually seen on news and in colleges. Who goes to college? typically kids who's brains aren't fully developed. Are what they have to say to be ignored? Not exactly, but yeah. Just like work behavior vs friends behavior, there are different expectations. Germans are known for and it's not always appreciated even by Germans the lack of ability to make mistakes. Self-sufficiency is a sign of competency. Knowing how to hold your ground at work and remembering that not everyone is always a hardasch is helpful. Bullying and being demeaning is actually one thing I've seen to be a problem in some work related situations. To get a better understanding, you might enjoy reading what swiss and austrians have to say about their neighbors, the "snobbies," Piefke (typically jokingly said) (used often in Austria). One thing to remember though, no matter where someone is from, people fall into the habit of looking for the differences rather than the similarities.
@@Ian-dn6ld And then we must remember America has more than 50% of it's population who claim to have some German roots. I currently live in the country, not the US state, of Georgia. Of which there are almost no connections to American culture. You are right, there are many who do have an attitude more closely associate with rules and respect than feelings in America. And this goes a long ways to explaining our current cultural divides. Meanwhile from the perspective of Georgia, the US and Germany are practically the same culture. I find it helpful to appreciate both the similarities AND the differences, especially when those differences are vast. That's one reason I watch Feli's channel. Having spent time here helped me for my most recent German sojourn. Thanks for the observations Ian. I have made several videos on Georgian American cultural differences and similarities. Check a couple out.
@@georgiancrossroads that’s really cool 😊. I made mention especially of not getting so caught up in the differences, because the German regions in the US is only a small facade - like a small piece that only certain people will understand and connect the dots. To the extent of how German it is, I couldn’t even say but family and social cultures take time to truly molt and evolve if there’s enough stability. My main point in not getting swept away with differences is more related and a reminder for whoever may have read, that people are individuals. Not everyone falls into simple categories. This categorizing cultures into steep little boxes has been influential in the idea of cultural appropriation and who can do what and who can’t do what in the US and to bring to light that not every culture in the US is the same. They change from region to region. For example, many African American families and mountain folk/southern are much more traditional than people might suspect and would “tell it as it is” with each putting their twist taking into account polite ways and when something needs to be stressed, maybe not so polite ways of saying something. It’s one of those things that I really wish others could see so Americans and everyone of everywhere would stop lumping everyone into groups of “all Americans are friendly,” bc lemme tell you. Eastern Kansas City is not where you wanna be at night. Western Kansas City is more farmy. Many people in Pennsylvania are known to be informal and friendly to the same degree found in many of the original settler’s homelands in the Rheinland-Pfalz with their stereotypical friendliness and familial openness. Whereas just south in New Jersey, people are known to be actually rude and cold. Whether it comes across like that to them idk. People in Boston drive like crazy people and in Florida, the speed limits are partially suggestions. It’s recognizing differences, but not getting swallowed up in them, ya know? Like the way not everyone from the Middle East is Muslim.
@@Ian-dn6ld Yes I agree. I find that the best way to swim in a fairly foreign culture is to major in both at once. So that I can be aware of my own mistakes, and try not to make them, but also be open to the culture. Anyone who would come to Georgia and stay inside the American mentality bubble would soon be driven insane by the differences. But I have a phrase that I repeat, and the Georgians like it and find it funny, when Georgians do things I find incomprehensible, and they truly do, I just remind myself 'It's Georgia.' Which is said much like at the end of the film Chinatown. 'It's Chinatown.' That is, all the rules for understanding this culture from an American perspective are off. I may never understand why certain things are done. They don't even understand. For instance, punctuality, hardly exists. And I mean this in the most extreme way. A good friend calls me and tells me to meet her in a hour at 3pm. She arrives at 4pm. No apologies. I just say 'It's Georgia.' Finally I realized that when a Georgia says meet me at a certain time they don't me by that time, they mean no earlier than that time. Which gets weirder the longer you think about. Looking for the similarities here will only get you angry, because you assume your time is being wasted. Rather appreciating the differences mean that you can relax once you realize how things are done.
I'm from Belgium and the "Sissi" movie tradition around Christmas was still a thing here too when I was a kid in the 90's/00's with my grandparents haha 😄 It reminded me good memories, vielen dank Feli !
My father and his siblings grew up speaking Plattdeutsch (a German dialect) and they still speak Plattdeutsch to each other. Recently my aunt (his brothers wife) pointed out that she realised that whenever one of joins the conversation they automatically answer in standard German even though that person obviously understands Plattdeutsch as well. And Feli, if you want to show him German christmas movies you might want to consider "Der kleine Lord" and (if he doesnt mind really cheesy stuff) "Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel"
@@Habakuk_ That's not completely true. It was a corporation between Czechoslovakia and East Germany. Some actors were Czech and spoke Czech during the filming process and others were East German and spoke German. In the German version the Czech actors are dubbed and in the Czech version the ones from East Germany are dubbed.
Live Christmas trees will keep a month. We put them up the day after Thanksgiving (or at least that weekend). A few tricks: make a fresh cut on the bottom of the tree and also make 2 or 4 holes into the bottom of the trunk, add Seven-Up/Sprite 50% with water in the bowl regularly (never let it get close to 1/3rd full), don't put it near a heater/vent.
Yes, I speak perfectly Romanian and Italian. And now I use more English since I am living in the Netherlands. Romanian is dominant when I am mad or for expressing my emotions. So yes, I tend to switch to Romanian when I struggle emotionally, because it is my first language
Time to add another language 😉 Trying to learn to speak Dutch will become "difficult" if the conversation switches to English everytime. It will prevent you from practicing Dutch but just tell the other person you want to practice the language and they'll be more patient, I hope.🤔
My husband is from Romania and I've picked up saying Doamne ferește from his mom 😂 his favorite hobby is antagonizing her so as you can imagine she says it a lot 😅
@@bartholvangent3225 It's just that we are so used to using more than one language that we unintentionally switch to what we think the other party understands best. But just as you said, tell us to speak dutch and we wil.
As a Brit, I joined Feli's channel partly because I wanted to see whether I identified more with Feli (we're both European) or with Americans (we both speak English plus the shared history and culture stuff).
@@donaldduck2621 Its tricky, but on balance I think my "European" side wins out - probably partly helped by the fact that Feli speaks perfect English! It's not an anti-American thing! And its probably because I've travelled Europe so much more. But despite the language issue, I think I feel more "at home" in most of Europe than in the USA. But I don't think all Brits would give the same answer!
Nice UK sweater. i am married to a Kentuckyian and i am from Chicago and though it isn't an international relationship there are still serious cultural differances. it is great
In all Europe, people learn how to drive a stick car. I took my driving licence in Italy and if you learn how to drive an automatic car when you take your driving licence for any reason, you are not allowed to driving the manual car, The other way around is allowed
This isn't true. My husband's friends daughter learned how to drive an automatic in Switzerland. For Switzerland, a lot of the younger people (not all) tend to want to learn to drive with an automatic.
@@jitterskater 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙄🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Thanks for the laugh. I really needed that today. Swiss are better drivers. Germans tend to be timid drivers (not all). A lot of of Swiss are grab the bull by the horns kind of people.
@@jessicaely2521 Yeah, right. The Swiss are absolutely terrible, especially on the German Autobahn where they think that they can "die Sau rauslassen" and drive their expensive cars to their limits. Every single time I'm in BaWü, it's the same sorry spectacle.
My Family (Great Grandparents) were from Borgloh Germany and immigrated to Cincinnati and we were brought up to wait until everyone gets their food and/or drink before we start. Even though I am Three generations from my German Heritage, to me it is just rude to start eating before everyone gets their food. The only exception for me is at a big family gathering and the food is set up in a buffet style setting. It would not be practical to wait for everyone. I have thoroughly enjoyed your channel almost from the beginning, especially since I also live in Cincinnati !!! Happy New Year!!!😃😄😃😄
I'm wondering if either of you have taken the Meyers-Briggs personality test? I think you two are very compatible despite the cultural differences. Perhaps your personality types are very well matched. Or.....its probably your great love for each other!! (Maybe you two can do an online personality test and discuss the findings on a future installment of FFG.)
Ben is right that if the girl insists on paying for herself on the first date, the guy is going to assume she doesn't want to go out again. It's like her way of saying "this isn't really a date, we're just hanging out together as platonic friends". At least that's how the guy will see it.
I hope both try to contribute 100% toward the success of your relationship if you want it to last. If one holds the promises over your head rather than working for the success, it will not work!
Growing up in the West, and having a patriotic dad, we were taught to respect the lethal force a gun has and always to be careful when handling a gun. We were taught not to just go out in the back yard and shoot but to find a gun range or make sure of where your projectile will go. While going into the wilderness, it is a good idea to have a gun with you for defense against a predictor. Where I live, there are bears, and cougars, coyotes, snakes, etc. In the season hunting is a thing in our family. Owning a gun is a constitutional right in the USA. .
Australian who was married to a German Woman for 17 years and have a bilingual daughter with, I see you guys are working together on the relationship, that's essential. Our marriage failed for many reasons. I have no family, so my wife. ( from typical German Family )struggled with feeling at home in Oz. Not an issue for you in either country. The one thing I have noticed is most relationships across cultures have much more chance of making it when the native speaker learns the others language to the very best they can " minimal high conversational level " read too. Not just Ich Liebe dich. The very best of luck.😃
Regarding the "need for walks and fresh air" as Ben said, I have to add this German saying "There is no bad weather, there are just the wrong clothes" (Es gibt kein schlechtes Wetter, nur schlechte Kleidung) I think that is a very common German saying. Germans tend to go for a walk no matter the weather. 😄
I find myself annoying using it, cause I still hate it and am possibly one of the free Germans who hates to go in walks. Every time I visit my family is gonna be like: "Let's go for a walk! Where should we go? We've been around here so much, let's go somewhere else." I think very disturbing for Americans (and me) is that we drive to go for a walk! I mean why?!😭 and when though, they know I hate going for walks, in somehow always forced to go with them. There is another German saying that describes what I heard from Feli and Ben about America. Why walk, if you have 4 healthy wheels? (Warum laufen, ich hab vier gesunde Räder) meaning is, that you could just drive where you're supposed to walk to.
Feli, You and I would get along great! The straight forwardness is what I like about the Germans, as I have German in me , I have friends who tell me that I am too straight forward sometimes but That is ok. I live in California and I feel like people out here don't really say what they mean which is irritating.
In regards to the times when a German word is inadvertently slipped into the conversation, does it basically go unnoticed if Ben understands it? I think it would be great to share/teach cultures like you two do.
I had a friend in school, whose parents where German and Greek respectively and usually spoke French with each other, as that was the language they were both most fluent in. The kids spoke all three languages fluently and natively (they learnt native German and Greek from their parents and grew up in a French environment and education). Dinner at their home was interesting, as all three languages were used at the same time and interchangeably. And usually their was no need to translate anything, as the parents were also reasonably familiar with each others language and able to get the gist of what was said. I was cool for the French and German but had to pass on the Greek. I‘m not sure they even realized when they used Greek until I looked at them rather stupidly and they had to quickly translate 😅
You both have a great attitude towards each others culture. Learning from each other and compromising when necessary is essential to ensuring that your relationship endures. I have been in 30 different countries over the years and I loved learning about the culture of whichever country I was in at the time. I have dated women from a few different counties/cultures in the past and I personally was very happy learning about the culture of the person that I was dating. I love that you both respect each other to be open and discuss all the major issues even before they actually occur. Good luck, you are definitely on the right path.
One thing I've noticed about a lot of bilingual people is that when they're speaking English they'll swear in their native tongue and when they`re speaking in their native language they`ll swear in English. That never fails to crack me up.
also, counting. No matter how proficient you get in another language, how much you use it in everyday life, might even lose fluency or vocabulary in your native language. You will always continue to count in the language you first learned your numbers in. Especially when doing it quickly or only in your head, adding up numbers and so forth. Or doing the 2-4-6-8 thing, skipping the uneven numbers and just tallying up the pairs.
and to be fair, it‘s quite popular to swear in English even for people who don‘t otherwise speak any English at all. It‘s the words that rappers and other musicians use and that are used in film (and usually not censored outside the US) and thus kids learn as a cool swear word. The more English swear words you know, the higher your street cred on a German playground…
I am a native English speaker that speaks Spanish on a nearly-native level, and I prefer to swear in Spanish. It's more expressive and you can use entire phrases and sentences to swear rather than just one word. It's automatic to me these days. When I dream in Spanish, it's usually me being angry at someone and swearing at them in a rapid fire fashion.
The funniest thing I ever saw language wise was friends family in Meran. The father was ethnically Italian, was having a conversation with his wife, an ethnic Austrian. The father was speaking German, the mother answering in Italian. The son was speaking English to both of them. The phone rang, the son answered in Italian, then held out the phone to the mother, saying it was for her in German. When asked no one realized they were doing this.
English-Spanish-Norwegian is also very amusing.......
that's hilarious!! 😄
(although for that family it's probably just their everyday life; happens in my family too, and probably to many outside the English-speaking world)
LOLOLOLOLLL...sounds similar to my parents and me, but not quite a a third language. More of the Engliman or Germlish.
That's crazy funny!
Me and my wife are trying to do the same. I am Italian, she was born in Romania, and we both live in Germany. 😅 Our kid is coming soon, and it will be a mixture of languages for sure 🤣
Please raise your kids bilingual or multilingual if you have the chance to do so. When I was younger, I thought my parents were weird because they would speak to me in English, French and Chinese. I can't even begin to explain you how grateful I am for having had such an opportunity.
YES! My 7 year old daughter speaks 3 languages. Growing up in a French American family, we kids learning French was the last thing our elders wanted. Because that was their secret code, for gossiping in front of young ears. But they made the fatal mistake of sending us to a kindergarten, owned by a Parisian woman, who taught French A LOT! And we soaked it up like sponges! I'll never forget, one day my cousin and I came home, laughing, and singing, and speaking in French! The old folks faces fell like avalanches, not because of us, but because of our older siblings! Priceless! What might they know? Anyway, knowledge is power, and more power to kids!!!
Trying to raise him/her in 3 languages 😄
Exactly. A friend of mine from Puerto Rico spoke only English to his kids. His wife (also Puerto Rican) spoke only Spanish. His son would talk to me in Spanish or English depending upon what he was thinking in at the moment. After some initial issues in school, both did very well and are fully bilingual. Both of my kids HAD some German, but have mostly lost it (as have I unfortunately).
@@marcobossi1749, nice, but it's only possible if you're bilingual yourself (or your partner, or both in the same), otherwise you might teach your children mistakes in said languages, which they can't lose any more!
@@Quark0611 I agree. Fortunately my wife is
This was delightful! Thanks. I lived in Germany for 14 months with the US Army. I found it so fun when children would yell out of cars, “Hello, how are you?” Because they wanted to practice their English. I always admired Germany for teaching kids 2 languages!
And also kinda embarrassing too, because we Americans don’t know German.
I remember the first time I went off base by myself. I was at this small corner store, and I was looking at German drinks. A college student started speaking German to me, and I was just “uhh… spreken ze english?”.
A big part of that though is Americans don't really NEED to learn a second (or third) language. 1) We live in a huge nation where most speak the common language. Our neighbors to the north also mostly speak the same language. It's only along rhe southern border where knowing Spanish is helpful....but not really necessary. 2) English is essentially the world default lingua franca. Most educated folks worldwide will have a working knowledge of it, if not conversational.
You should admire almost every european country then. Together with some other country's the netherlands teaches more languages. Like german and sometimes even french aswell. I personally speak frisian, dutch and english fluently my german sadly not that good.
@@armynurseboyGermans (and other Europeans) also don't NEED to learn more languages. 😅
It's mandatory at school, so we HAVE to!
And regarding Americans: Sure you will get by in your own country but what if you travel? I was totally lost in Italy when I urgently needed to find a gas station but the only 3 people I found that I could ask (late night, rural area) only spoke Italian and I didn't even know the Italian word for gasoline! When I was in Mexico City, the hotel receptionist didn't speak any English (but my Spanish is good enough to get by). French people often speak very limited or no English either.
Than you admire basically every European country
Feli, I grow more impressed with Ben every time he appears on your channel. The wisdom you both show in using differences to build a stronger, more joyful relationship is a powerful lesson both for close relationships and in how we treat others daily.
🤗❤️🤗❤️
Ben is totally whipped...
@@briansimson933steady, dude, this may come as a shock to you: Not everyone interprets this world in terms of people whipping other people.
@@TerryBollinger I think Brian was joking. Humor can be complicated, even within the same culture.
@@SignorLuigigood point. The best proof of friendly intent in demeaning humor is that the author finds it equally funny if someone tosses a comparable barb back at them. So, hopefully, Brian got a good laugh at my reply.
I have been married to my German wife for 30 years. Many of cultural things you mention were relevant and continue to be relevant to this day.
One of the magical things I learned from her was "Urmel aus dem Eis". Since living in Germany I've had the opportunity to visit Augsburger Puppenkiste.
ruclips.net/user/results?search_query=augsburger+puppenkiste
That's so nice. I loved it as a kid (also now, of course). There's something magical about it indeed which I quite can't put into words.
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death.
I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse. Also, you are more likely to be much more closer to someone who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a romantic partner or spouse.
People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
@@icysnow57cold64Hey, I can tell that you're hurting. I want you to know that you don't need a romantic partner to be happy. Friends can be enough. However, if you want a long term romantic partner, they should ideally be your best friend too. A lasting romantic relationship needs two be built on at least two, possibly three types of love: 1 Agape (selfless love) 2) Philia (Affectionate/platonic love), and 3 Eros (Sexual/passionate love).
There really are multiple different types of love. The English language really doesn't do it justice.
@@rosered5485 Most people consider their platonic best friend to be their soulmate rather than their romantic partner or spouse.
Platonic relationships and romantic relationships may be two entirely different things, but that doesn't mean they are equal when it comes to the amount of love given in them.
The love in platonic relationships seems to be way stronger than the love in romantic relationships is since platonic relationships are not fragile like romantic relationships are.
Also, platonic relationships also seem to be a lot more intimate and comfortable than romantic relationships are. Platonic love is one of the most purest forms of love there is, while romantic love is one of the least purest forms of love there is.
Most people seem to be a lot more comfortable around their platonic best friends than they are around their romantic partners or spouses.
A platonic best friend is one of the best things you could ever have. A platonic best friend can be someone you trust the most, and they can be your confidant and coach.
People tend to trust their platonic best friends more than their romantic partners, and that's a fact.
The concept of romantic love and romantic relationships seems to mostly be a man-made thing.
Gosh, you can tell Felicia is so happy! She is practically beaming now. Ben is so cute. Congrats on finding a good match, you guys. Love it.
Have always been happy for you both, but this took my appreciation of your relationship to an entirely new level. 💛💛💛
Y'all are wonderful. I'm 45 and remembering all of the fantastic things with my now-deceased fiancée thanks to you. Mine was German/Palestinian and we lived in Amsterdam. I'm southern US from ATL. He was very Germanly direct, I was just USian pleasing until the Dutch psyche infected me and I could be just as direct after a few months. He loved fast food, I still use an IKEA rack to dry my clothes. I drive a stick if I can. He wouldn't get in a car if he could avoid it. He had a deadly heart attack on his bike from A'dam to Munster to see his mom and sister. I own a gun- a shotgun. He hated the very idea and refused to even visit the US and my family even after I got knocked up. I lost it, we carried on. We had a lovely coffee on a bridge in A'dam.
The angrier he got, Feli, he'd switch to German and shout, yell, throw his arms about. I usually went on a walk when that happened
I also switch languages when I'm stressed. I'll start in French, mix in some Dutch and German, and finish in English.
Southern US, you wait until everyone at the table is sat before you eat.
Groceries: I will pack my own bags, especially since we have Aldi and Lidl now.
Sorry so long. I'll leave Duth/US/German/Palestinian holidays for now.
Wow, I unloaded. Thank you for all the sweet memories you brought up for me and the dead love of my life.
So sorry for your loss :/ That's So Sad :/
I'm so very sorry for your loss. 😔
You guys are too cute. Wishing you many years of happiness!
One of the best Christmas stories I ever heard was when German and British troops began singing Christmas Carols on the battlefield on Christmas Eve during WWI. They stopped killing each other and enjoyed Christmas TOGETHER, even exchanging gifts. I'm mad I never hear about this in school and was an adult before I heard about it.
During breaks in fighting, they also played football matches.
Sabaton-Christmas Truce song
Y'all communicate, which overcomes the vast majority of relationship issues
You two remind me so much of how my wife and I were 43 years ago. Multicultural marriage has some extra baggage to deal with; however, tolerance, understanding, curiosity, and appreciation of each other’s culture will get you through those difficult times. Celebrate the difference, laugh at your quirky cultural based preferences and behavior. Those differences are often what your spouse finds enduring about you.
Also this isn't a muticultural extreme. Both are white, both not religious, both with christian values. Both from the western world. The languages are very similar (with English being a German dialect). And so on.
It's a lot more complicated when the mix is across races, religions and parts of the world.
My advice came from a marriage that was across races, religions, and far parts of the world. One can overcome a lot with tolerance and understanding. I made the comment on the day my wife passed away. Months later, I can say that I would do it again despite the difficulties we faced together.
@@spot997 English isn't a German dialect! It's a completely different language.
Wrong. Do your research.
Feli unfiltered in this video makes it feel more authentic and genuine. Happy New Year!
26:53 Yeah, I'm absolutely still following! You're talking about Glottal Stops and "T" Glottalization.
If I just stumbled into your channel and saw a muted minute of it I'd believe calm Ben was the German and smiling Feli was American. Happy new year both of you and keep on posting☺👍!
The whole "pot vs pod" discussion is pretty hilarious because I'm not a native English speaker, and I had this very long discussion about "mass" and "mess". They sound _exactly_ the same to me, but a Canadian friend was "No, they sound similar, but still clearly different". My point is: Feli, you're not alone there; it happens to all of us.
Yeah, I spent hours trying to help my Russian friend figure out the difference, to no avail unfortunately.
Oh and when it comes to pot and pod, the difference in American speakers is even more miniscule than you'd think: the t and d are both pronounced the same (alveolar flap), but there is a slight difference in vowel length in the o sound beforehand (longer in 'pod')
My German partner makes similar mistakes.
@@guy1524I disagree - they're very distinct in most of the US. I've never ever had trouble distinguishing between the two anywhere in the US. But the thing is, if you didn't grow up with certain sounds, after a certain point people generally lose the ability to hear the sounds their native language didn't have
@@guy1524The only US accents in which I'd imagine these two words could be hard to distinguish would be an either a "Boston" accent or certain NYC accents. But where have you noticed this?
@@guy1524Also, the d and t sounds in pod and pot are not pronounced the same. They're very distinctive
Always nice to get a little more personal look. Thanks for being open to sharing with us, Feli and Ben! Great video to end the year! P.S. 100% with Ben--schnitzel is delightful!
Fun show. I’m an American and my wife is English and we just celebrated our 47th wedding anniversary. We still enjoy the differences between our two cultures. I’m sure both of you will also.
TIE THE KNOT! You two are awesome together! SO glad you found each other!
The telegram is likely a scam.
You both are fun to watch! I'm currently living in Germany. Been in Stuttgart for a year already and have been dating a German lady for 5 months now. I had to send her this video to get more insight and possible similarities of our different cultures.
Love this topic and you two! I had two parents from extremely monocultural upbringings (rural 100% Danish Iowa farm mom) and an extremely Irish Catholic Philadelphia dad (a full on ethnic enclave neighborhood.) I lived radical differences...and my grandparents never met because my Irish relatives refused to go to my dad's Lutheran Iowa wedding. :( Then, being raised in the midwest, I landed myself a Texan husband whose family are all from the Deep South! Wild cultural differences that I was not prepared for. Then add in family culture, and my poor husband missed a lot of basic "American kid culture" because his parents scorned most tv, most music, most movies and weren't interested in paying to travel and go places. We've been together 22 years now and it's still fascinating to us how cultural differences pop up and all the navigation that one has to do as a couple and with both sets of parents. Then to make it "more" fun we both became therapists and believe open communication can solve most problems, but deep South can be all indirect, conflict-avoiding but wildly judgemental rules you are supposed to follow but nobody says what they are. Good times for me! lol
Regarding switching languages while arguing, many Americans were raised on I Love Lucy reruns. Ricky, Lucy's husband in the show (and in real life), was from Cuba. Ricky would sometimes switch to Spanish when arguing. That may give some the impression that some non-native speakers will switch to their mother tongue when arguing.
I think it makes sense, people tend to inadvertently switch into their native tongue during big emotional outbursts. I can imagine myself doing that.
I think it heavly depends on how fluent you are in the language you are speaking. The more fluent you are, the lesser is the chance of you slipping into your native language while arguing
I am not even fluent in my mom’s first language (Greek) but I picked up more than I realized, especially when it came to angry outbursts and less than appropriate (cussing) language. My mom lost a lot her Greek by the time I was born. And her parents died when I was a kid so I didn’t really get a lot of time to learn.
My oh my! I am an American woman in my 70’s who has experienced two long term international relationships. The first was with a German woman who had lived in the US for nearly 20 years. I moved with her to Northern Germany (Husum, north of Hamburg) and lived there for ten years out in the countryside. This was more than 30 years ago and the only person at that time with whom I had contact who spoke fluent English, was her. My German language skills then included saying “my name is” and “where is a taxi”. She worked for Apple Computer at their international headquarters in Paris and was gone during the week, coming home on Friday evenings, flying back to Paris on Monday. “Home” was a house built in 1872 which underwent extensive reconstruction during the first two years. I lived there the entire time. The first architect spoke a limited English. When we first moved in, the house had a bathroom on the “bottom” floor and one on the upper floor. In JANUARY, this person decided that it would be practical to REMOVE both bathrooms at the same time, in order to better facilitate the reconstruction. When I protested, she was surprised and told me, “But you can easily go outside to the bushes.” !!!!???? I ask, “What about all the male construction workers?” “Oh they won’t mind!” “And how am I supposed to wash myself?” Rather puzzled she replied, “But of course you heat water on the stove.” An absolutely FRANTIC call to Paris put a stop to this architects “plan”. One morning some few months later, I woke up to male laughter. When I opened my eyes, three jolly bricklayers were making comments in Plattdeutschere while they removed the bricks from my bedroom wall in order to install new windows as I lay naked, sleeping in my bed. (I was covered by a sheet.) Can you imagine waking up like that? Fortunately these men were true gentlemen. When they were certain that I was awake, they left the scaffolding giving me time to grab my clothes and run. For the rest of their bricklaying work, they treated me with gentle respect, bless them. I PROMISE that I am neither exaggerating nor imagining! Not too long after, we hired a new architect. But talk about culture shock! 🤪☺️
Sie hatten es in Husum echt schwer! Keine Frau in Schleswig Hokstein würde sich aud solche Probleme einlassen.Ich wohne in einem Dorf 30 minuten entfernt. Hätte ich Sie nur damals gekannt! Ich war segeln ohne Klo,dass war der Horror. Liebe Grüsse aus Jübek❤❤❤
Thanks!
Wow danke für deinen Support! :)
I love this! I am American but lived in Germany from 1 yo to 9 yo then Italy from 9 yo to 13 yo. Have been back in USA since is was 13 but having grown up in Europe I had the opportunity to grow up in other cultures which my parents made a point to explore those cultures. We still have many of traditions from time in Germany & Italy but also American traditions. I have definitely introduced my husband to many different traditions over the years, most of which he has enjoyed.
You two are so cute together!!
You guys look for differences in your lives and cultures so you can learn and share with each other. ( and us!)
Your relationship seems so fresh and happy.
Good for you!!!!!
Such a lovely couple! Many blessings to you both for your exciting road ahead together.
I really enjoy your videos, partly because you remind me of my grandchildren's generation, but also because I grew up two years in Spain, two in Italy as a "navy brat", and the multicultural aspect is interesting. I spent years overseas as a Marine and that plays a part as well. I'm glad you get along so well and hope you truly enjoy your lives together. It's good to see a young couple in love.
I'm from Ohio, my husband is from Illinois. We have very few common childhood memories. He wasn't allowed to listen to pop music, I didn't have video games. Even just boy toys vs girl toys. So many things! Completely different cultures is of course a different level, but there will always be differences and I love your outlook....embracing and learning.
At least you don't call water fountains "bubblers" like those freaks in Wisconsin
Not allowed to listen to pop music?! 😮
Ihr seid mega magisches Paar, ich habe großes Respekt für euch! Ben ist ein Typ, der genau richtig glücklich und nicht unangenehm fühlt, dass diese Fragen beantwortet wurden sollten. Liebe Grüße aus Österreich 😊
"It wouldn't make any sense being mad in German because he wouldn't understand" is the most German comment ever :)
😂
@@FelifromGermany No one WANTS to shoot someone, but if they are threatening your safety it is justified and one can be in a situation where one HAS to. As bad as it is to have to do that, it sure beats being a victim yourself. We don't need to get guns off the street; we need to get violent people off the street. Virtually every homicide in my state ends with the reporter saying and the suspect has a long history of violent crime. My state has let violent people run loose with great frequency going on 6 decades now. That's what needs to stop.
When Charlie Beck was police chief in Los Angeles, he said he doesn't want the law loosened to allow people to carry guns, never mind that the 6 safest states in the USA all allow carry, claiming it'd put his officers at risk. Those who are a risk to his officers all carry despite the laws against it. The only people stopped from carrying a gun by a law are those who would never dream of being violent. How odd that he thinks his officers should be able to carry their guns for defense, and that is why police carry guns, but the rest of us should not be able to. How is a police officer's life more worth defending than yours or mine?
My mom worked for a sheriff's department when I was a kid, and one of the deputies said something I'll never forget. He said the last thing on most people's mind is harming anyone, and if you gave such a person a gun they could run around all week and STILL the last thing on their mind would be harming anyone. The only difference is that if they are attacked they can defend themselves. Indeed, when we did prohibit carry of guns in the USA the homicide rate was multiples higher than before or since. I didn't quite tell the whole truth. Vermont is the one state that never prohibited carry, and their homicide rate remained low all along.
Allowing people who've proved themselves capable of wanton violence run free emboldens them, and if they "answer" to their continued violence is to disarm those who are not violence it emboldens them more. Since Ohio went to permitless carry it has seen a decrease in the homicide rate statewide and in 6 of the 8 biggest cities in the state. We have a real problem in left leaning cities like Los Angeles, New Orleans, St. Louis, NYC with district attorneys refusing to prosecute people for violent crimes and yet actually trying to prosecute those who have to shoot someone in self defense. That's absolutely backwards.
Discovered your channel recently Felicia and bern watching a lot of older videos. Lovely to see you are planning a life with Ben ❤ 🇬🇧
Your a great couple, wishing the best for your future togetherness
Liebe Feli,Deine Videos gefallen mir sehr! Ich (60+) lerne dadurch gutes Englisch und erfahre die kulturellen Unterschiede. Ich bewun9dere Deine schnelle Aussprache.Ben und Du, ihr seid ein tolles Paar!!! ❤❤❤ Ich wünsche Euch eine glückliche gemeinsame Zukunft!!! Uta aus SH
My gf and I went to high school together (class of 1976). We didn't see each other, and weren't really friends in school, and got together because we were on the reunion committee. We've been together for three years. We know so many of the same things from growing up together. I also dated a Swedish girl in the 80s and lived in Sweden for almost three years. That was fun too because we learned a lot about our cultures.
Das war lustig. Ich liebte es! Ich fange jetzt an, die Unterschiede in der Kultur zu sehen.
You guys were really open with so much here. This was really insightful because of that!
To your question about arguing in German I remember my Pennsylvania Dutch grandparents, who grew up speaking both German and English, would sometimes discuss their disagreements (I never remember them actually arguing) in German. It's because I wanted to understand what they were saying that I learned to speak a fair amount of Pennsylvania Dutch. Thanks, guys. Happy New Year to you both! 🎆🎉
This is why I think why a lot of people who know just a few words in their parent's or grandparent's native language know just the swears and the insults. If they only time they switched from English to their native language were disagreements, it became motivation to learn those words
Being from the Pennsylvania Dutch and growing up as a military brat, I realized at a young age that the phone rang and my pop started to speak in Dutch, it meant bad news on the other end. Also figured out that when they switched from English to Dutch while you were present, they were talking about you!
I'm German and I don't understand much when hearing Pennsylvania Dutch bc it's not fully intelligible to modern German but I do understand Texas German which doesn't sound too different from regular German
@@davidschumaker8107 it's weird when people shorten Pennsylvania dutch bc it's not actually Dutch
@@edithputhy4948 I would agree, but in the area , it is just a given. When you go to most bars, you ask for a lager, you don't have to ask for a Yuengling Lager by name, it's a given. Also, a very popular saying is "If you ain't Dutch, you ain't much", only the locals get it!
Ich mag deinen Kanal wirklich. I love seeing the both of you and your opinions on each others cultures.
A lot of times persons will speak in their 'native' language with another who understands it so can hide from those of another language to not know what they are talking about.
Ben, go for the ring and go official. Don't let Feli get away from you ! I love how Feli speaks in English almost as quickly as a 3rd generation USA born American like me and I can understand her. Of course she has a great personality, beautiful and smart, a delight to see her videos.
Why are Americans keen to rush young people into marriage?
it‘s funny as this is a video on intercultural differences, but as a German female (and I think this is something most German-raised people, male or female would agree with) I find the American mentality of „put a ring on it“ really strange and somewhat disconcerting. First of all, is anyone expecting me to just take off with someone else, if we aren‘t getting married? Second, is anyone saying that just because we got married, I might not still take off if it doesn‘t work out? I guess marriage to most people my generation at least (90s kid) is nothing more than a party with the family to publicly celebrate the sincerity both partners feel with regards to their relationship. And also tax benefits, at least in Germany 😅.
Then again I do have some female friends who are sort of waiting for their boyfriends to propose already. They are on the same page with their partners regarding future marriage and, like Feli and Ben, have agreed on the „traditional“ proposal, but apparently the ladies want to just get on with it already. So that can happen in all-German relationships, too.
I‘m hoping you aren‘t put off by a long comment on a 3-month old humorous post, I just realized an interesting cultural discrepancy and wanted to point it out, feeling as though you might find it equally interesting, since you just watched a video on intercultural differences 😅
My mother is an immigrant from England. My father is an immigrant from Brazil. I was 11 in 1982 when the Falkland war broke out. There were actually two wars. There was a war in the south Atlantic, and there was the war in our home . The war in the south Atlantic was over much faster. There’s is a lessons in this for couples from different nationalities .
Ben seems to be a very honest/upstanding guy...you are blessed to have each other,my wife is from Mexico but doesn't speak English very well ,but she does understand a bit-we have been married 15 yrs.,we are still both learning quite a bit of each others culture,there is a large Latino community where we live so I think that has made it harder for her to fully immerse herself in the American way,which in some cases that is not necessarily a bad thing...great topic,wish you both the best
I'm from Mexico (100% indigenous Zapotec, from Oaxaca), but my boyfriend is an American. I know English pretty well, but my boyfriend doesn't know much Spanish. So, we converse in English. lol
Do you usually speak Spanish with her then?
@@neonsparxx yes
6:39 and advent wreath is actually quite common in Catholic households in the US during advent. My family has one. Its not always lit because *fire hazard* but its usually up around Christmas.
Love to hear that you watch Sissi as a Christmas movie in Germany. Love these 3 movies. Watch them so many times, Romy Schneider has been one of my favorites actress for a very long time. Wondering if Ben’s love the movies as much though, it is historical but mostly a love story. Happy New Year from 🇨🇦
He likes Rom coms and he really liked Sissi 😊
Hi, I don't even recall how or because of what RUclips sent me to your channel, but...... I'm glad they did. I took three year of German in high school.... all "A"s. But, My ears can't keep up with the speed. Plus, I'm 70 now so that's 52 years ago. Wow! This was a great episode. Hearing you both sharing cross-cultural perspectives and perceptions is fantastic. Now, with so many comments odds are not great that you will read this especially since it is a year old. Well, thanks for the really cool and personal revelations. Blessings!!
I'd never evern considered that the different childhoods would be a bad thing! I'm from the US but in the UK and married an English guy - I moved here 9 years ago and met him about 6 months in, but after nearly a decade we still find random stuff the other has never heard of and get to enjoy it/laugh at it/realise how actualyl bizarre it is together! (Just last week I ended up googling Apple Jacks commercials. . . he showed me a Princess Diana flavoured soda from the 90s)
Exactly!
@@FelifromGermany how austrian german different from germanic german ?!!! Why austria is not part of germany ?!!!
@@unniramesh5733well part of the reason why they aren’t part of Germany is thanks to Hitler annexing them and the Allie’s after the war going nope not again
@@FelifromGermany Nur mal so fürs Protokoll...NATÜRLICH WARTET man bis jeder sein essen serviert bekommen hat bevor man anfängt zu essen. Wenn man GEMEINSAM essen geht..dann isst man auch ZUSAMMEN. Is mir scheiß egal wo jemand herkommt. Und wenn ich jemals wieder da drüben im Urlaub sein und öffis nutzen sollte. Sollte ich jemals sehen das einer nicht für ne hochschwangere oder ne 98 jahre alte person aufsteht. Lass ich da den hammer kreisen...selbst in Brooklyn...Brownville...um 3 uhr morgens am samstag. 😁 #wordisbond
@juliab3326 it's more like if Vermont never left Canada joined the US and was separated from ever rejoining Canada
I have been in an intercultural (and interracial) marriage for 29 years (together for 31). Yes, there are adjustments but the richness it brings is wonderful. I wish you two all the promise and blessings the relationship holds.
I find this topic very enjoyable as someone who's been in an intercultural/interracial relationship, American/Chinese for nearly 30 years now and has been a foreigner living in China for almost 25 of those years. It makes me think of all the times my wife and I have had similar questions to think about. I think it's kept our lives interesting and our son got to grow up Tri-lingual as we lived in an area where they spoke a different dialect than what my wife spoke So our son speaks English, Mandarin & Cantonese plus learned French and Spanish in High School! Great video as always
Hey...Thanks guys. Y'all seem to relate and talk to each other well. Ben, I have been in and through KY many times, I'm from the Piedmont region of SC. We sit still and mind our manners at the Supper table, we shoot .22s off of the porch, and we learn to drive on dirt roads. You guys will do well....Good luck.
@FelifromGarman I don't wish to win anything but tonight's Mega millions.
I’d love a part 2, there was so much to talk about. I’m glad y’all enjoy each other well, and deal with each other respectfully. Makes me hope or gives me hope in finding my person.
25:43 Honestly, I'm a native British English speaker, and _I_ don't really hear the difference between "T" and "D" when Americans say it. Like, they sound so similar in American English, I think we're much better at making a clear distinction here. Like, when Americans say "water" - a word they're always talking about how we say - to me it sounds like they're saying "waaderrr".
Feli, I think what you are noticing in American accents in terms of "dropping" T sounds is the use of a glottal stop for a T in colloquial speech rather than an aspirated T sound. Aspirated T sounds are much more common in many upper class English accents, or if an American is carefully trying to pronounce a word. For example, in a word like "written," in common American accents, the T sound is replaced by a glottal stop (the sound you make when saying uh-oh), while if someone was carefully pronouncing it, the might clearly aspirate the T. This can also happen at the ends of words like "hate, great, right" etc. and I think that may be what you're hearing when it sounds like the T is being "dropped."
but also, Feli was right when she mentioned that the German language doesn‘t phonetically differentiate between a t and d ending, same with b and p endings. According to linguists, it‘s one of the reasons German sounds like a very hard language to non-native speakers. Also, we use the glottal stop in front of words that start with a vocal, which yet again disrupts the flow of a sentence, makes individual words more distinctive and again, makes the German language sound harsher. The English language only does that on the first word of a sentence, that starts with a vocal. Basically in German you put a stop between all the words in a sentence, phonetically speaking.
This is great from the moment Ben told me about this girl when we worked at classic car care. and I told him to go for it glad he did .
Ich mag euch so! 😊 Bleibt bitte so respektvoll zu einander wie ihr es hier bringt! Danke für den content! ❤
No they are fine - 6:22 - I usually put up my natural x-Mas on 8th of Dec. (Festa dell'Immacolata Concezione) as my granny was of Italian descent, they use actually mostly trees in a planter. We keep the tree until the 2nd of Feb. M.Lichtmäß/Candelmass. They are usually good, but only in one year, I had to "eject" the tree in Knut-Style earlier as it has lost nearly all its needles. I usually chop the tree around the 1st of Advent. It stays outside in water until the 7th - then it is slowly adapted to inside temperatures, 1st step entrance, then cellar, then hallway before finally arriving at the 8th in the drawing room, the stem is freshly cut again and always supplied with fresh water. this way the tree stays good. As it is next to the chimney the needles literally fossilize on the branches, they harden but do not fall. :)
You guys need to do a Zoom or Facetime collab video with Nick (NALF) and his German girlfriend Laura. She's been on a few if his videos and comes across as sweet and smart and her English is very good.
She did a video with Nalf alone a few years ago. That's how I found him and became a subscriber. And yes I think this is a great idea.
Hey! American that was living outside of Munich in the early 2000’s 👋 Christmas in Germany was magical experience for my family when we lived there!
Love your videos and content! Servus! 🇩🇪 🇺🇸
Feli, Than you very much for this! I feel like as someone who has spent most of his childhood growing up in both cultures (living on a US Army base in Germany, but going to German school), I should probably start my own RUclips Channel talking about my very unique experiences - being totally comfortable with the habits and quirks of both societies (yet still preferring to live in the US vs. Germany)
You guys seem to make a great couple. Good luck for the future. Keep being the way you guys are.
Other fun cultural difference.
Ben (being American the thought counts and the effect, facts is secondary): I want it 1000%
Feli (German, fact first all the time): 100%, yeah
That got me smiling
Hahaha I noticed that too 😂
@@FelifromGermanyis your boyfriend LGTBQ or something lol
@@joshwaffen88 yeah, odd haircut for U.S.
@@echo5226 ??? Odd for the USA ??? Thats the typical MGK look! Its not my style personaly but to call him gay on his girlfriends channel!? @Josh
@@joshwaffen88 🤦♂️
Spent 2 years in Germany. Enjoy Ed every minute. Thanks for drawing John doe public along. Love that parkbrau😊
You're getting married! That is so cool you guys always seem like you fit together
@--Felifromgermany how nice to hear from you! I love watching your videos. What's this information you want to share it?
@@danferguson4004 That's not what they said 😂
When it comes to shooting guns in the backyard, it depends on the backyard. If you have the appropriate backyard, set up properly, there a lot of rifles that you can safely shoot in that backyard which many gun ranges are not built for and do not allow. Of course, I’m not talking about backyards in subdivisions; it takes a good amount of land and proper care to have a safe backyard gun range. When it comes to self defense and defending your family, people should put as many barriers between themselves and both physical & legal peril as possible.
As my mother always used to say: "There is no bad weather, only bad clothes." And I can confirm it in the meantime. 😊
This is what mothers say ☺️
False. Chicago winters and summers are objectively horrible. Bone-chilling cold and wind, and then hot and muggy. Thank that big ass lake for both.
a Swedish saying
I really like seeing people date other people from different countries, they learn a lot from each other
I think that the thing about switching to German when you're mad is a thing people do in a bilingual family. My cousins are bilingual in French and Dutch, and when I was at their place, I would hear them speaking Dutch (and my Dutch level is very low so I would not understand a thing) and then suddenly my aunt, when she was mad about something, she would start to yell in French even tho she was speaking in Dutch a second before. And she did it of course because she knew that my cousins and my uncle understand French
I have never seen "Sissi". I recently found out that "Die Hard" has, for some reason utterly inexplicable, become a Christmas movie, like " A Christmas Story" or "Miracle on 34th Street".. Ask Ben to explain "Die Hard" if need be. We live in an irony-rich environment. Happy New Year!
Ben seems very bright and kind. As an American I'd say he's a breath of fresh air. I appreciate that Feli is very independent (like my wife)....I'm not fans of dependent people...and why doesn't he learn to speak German? I'm a combat veteran. Guns are not fun. They are tools, not toys. BTW, does he like spaetzle?
He's learning!! He's just not at the point yet where he can have a conversation in German. He can listen and understand things though
@@FelifromGermany What about spaetzle? He could learn to make it.
European here (French Expat in sinking Britain) I am with the German here on walks and opening windows! You guys are both lovely!
That's a mature sane attitude about a relationship: communicate, discover if you're on the same page about things. It's insane how many people get married and haven't discussed things beforehand.
She really loves him. It shows!
Yea it's a scary sight. I don't envy him on that
The biggest challenge in an international relationship is communication. My wife is from Thailand. We've been married for 44 years.
Yawl two are awesome together! Best wishes for you both and have a wonderful future together!!!
You two are so great.
Just love you guys.
Amazing couple!
I am of first generation of Canadian Dutch heritage; whereas, my wife is of first generation Canadian Italian heritage. Sharing these cultures are wonderful for your children.
Funny Misunderstanding: My Bavarian wife says she was "standing on the light", (waiting for the traffic light to change). I told her she better get down from there.
Hahaha that's hilarious 😂
Are you and NALF going to do a video together about your different perspectives? Would be very interesting. Thanks.
Quite interesting. I didn't have a chance to ask a question, but if I did I would ask about a couple of things: First, Germany is much more rule oriented than America is. Are there ever conflicts in this area? Second, Germans are notoriously blunt in discussing things that bother them, Americans are more interested in feelings and not offending each other. How do you survive this difference? Thanks for your videos!
I know you didn't ask me, but it's something I think having lived here in Germany for a few years and having studied a fair amount of stuff across the board, German rule orientation came primarily from different cultural movements throughout the 20th century. A lot of German - American culture and things from a social aspect came from 19th and earlier centuries of Germany. Imo, having grown up in Kansas and Indiana in heavily German influenced areas, I personally find the social aspect not so different. Then again, I live in Stuttgart, have lived in the Black Forest, most GA families came from the Southwestern part of Germany, and you know the concept of becoming the parents? Family home culture? All you have to do is talk to people particularly adult adult and they open up and a strikingly similar midwestern friendliness can come out.
Not all Americans are totally into the idea of feelings and offending. Americans mostly want to be civil, respectful, polite, (like most other functioning societies) and the overarching niceness is mostly actually seen on news and in colleges. Who goes to college? typically kids who's brains aren't fully developed. Are what they have to say to be ignored? Not exactly, but yeah. Just like work behavior vs friends behavior, there are different expectations. Germans are known for and it's not always appreciated even by Germans the lack of ability to make mistakes. Self-sufficiency is a sign of competency. Knowing how to hold your ground at work and remembering that not everyone is always a hardasch is helpful. Bullying and being demeaning is actually one thing I've seen to be a problem in some work related situations. To get a better understanding, you might enjoy reading what swiss and austrians have to say about their neighbors, the "snobbies," Piefke (typically jokingly said) (used often in Austria). One thing to remember though, no matter where someone is from, people fall into the habit of looking for the differences rather than the similarities.
@@Ian-dn6ld And then we must remember America has more than 50% of it's population who claim to have some German roots. I currently live in the country, not the US state, of Georgia. Of which there are almost no connections to American culture. You are right, there are many who do have an attitude more closely associate with rules and respect than feelings in America. And this goes a long ways to explaining our current cultural divides. Meanwhile from the perspective of Georgia, the US and Germany are practically the same culture. I find it helpful to appreciate both the similarities AND the differences, especially when those differences are vast. That's one reason I watch Feli's channel. Having spent time here helped me for my most recent German sojourn.
Thanks for the observations Ian. I have made several videos on Georgian American cultural differences and similarities. Check a couple out.
@@georgiancrossroads that’s really cool 😊. I made mention especially of not getting so caught up in the differences, because the German regions in the US is only a small facade - like a small piece that only certain people will understand and connect the dots. To the extent of how German it is, I couldn’t even say but family and social cultures take time to truly molt and evolve if there’s enough stability.
My main point in not getting swept away with differences is more related and a reminder for whoever may have read, that people are individuals. Not everyone falls into simple categories. This categorizing cultures into steep little boxes has been influential in the idea of cultural appropriation and who can do what and who can’t do what in the US and to bring to light that not every culture in the US is the same. They change from region to region. For example, many African American families and mountain folk/southern are much more traditional than people might suspect and would “tell it as it is” with each putting their twist taking into account polite ways and when something needs to be stressed, maybe not so polite ways of saying something. It’s one of those things that I really wish others could see so Americans and everyone of everywhere would stop lumping everyone into groups of “all Americans are friendly,” bc lemme tell you. Eastern Kansas City is not where you wanna be at night. Western Kansas City is more farmy. Many people in Pennsylvania are known to be informal and friendly to the same degree found in many of the original settler’s homelands in the Rheinland-Pfalz with their stereotypical friendliness and familial openness. Whereas just south in New Jersey, people are known to be actually rude and cold. Whether it comes across like that to them idk. People in Boston drive like crazy people and in Florida, the speed limits are partially suggestions.
It’s recognizing differences, but not getting swallowed up in them, ya know? Like the way not everyone from the Middle East is Muslim.
@@Ian-dn6ld Yes I agree. I find that the best way to swim in a fairly foreign culture is to major in both at once. So that I can be aware of my own mistakes, and try not to make them, but also be open to the culture. Anyone who would come to Georgia and stay inside the American mentality bubble would soon be driven insane by the differences. But I have a phrase that I repeat, and the Georgians like it and find it funny, when Georgians do things I find incomprehensible, and they truly do, I just remind myself 'It's Georgia.' Which is said much like at the end of the film Chinatown. 'It's Chinatown.' That is, all the rules for understanding this culture from an American perspective are off. I may never understand why certain things are done. They don't even understand. For instance, punctuality, hardly exists. And I mean this in the most extreme way. A good friend calls me and tells me to meet her in a hour at 3pm. She arrives at 4pm. No apologies. I just say 'It's Georgia.' Finally I realized that when a Georgia says meet me at a certain time they don't me by that time, they mean no earlier than that time. Which gets weirder the longer you think about. Looking for the similarities here will only get you angry, because you assume your time is being wasted. Rather appreciating the differences mean that you can relax once you realize how things are done.
I'm from Belgium and the "Sissi" movie tradition around Christmas was still a thing here too when I was a kid in the 90's/00's with my grandparents haha 😄 It reminded me good memories, vielen dank Feli !
My father and his siblings grew up speaking Plattdeutsch (a German dialect) and they still speak Plattdeutsch to each other. Recently my aunt (his brothers wife) pointed out that she realised that whenever one of joins the conversation they automatically answer in standard German even though that person obviously understands Plattdeutsch as well.
And Feli, if you want to show him German christmas movies you might want to consider "Der kleine Lord" and (if he doesnt mind really cheesy stuff) "Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel"
Drei Nüsse für Aschenbrödel is a Czech fairy tale that has been dubbed into German
I personally find Little Lord Fauntleroy WAY cheesier than the Hazelnuts for Cinderella...
Do not forget "Die Feuerzangenbowle" with Heinz Rühmann
@@wora1111 and the Christmas and New Year's episodes of Familie Heinz Becker and Ekel-Alfred, respectively.
@@Habakuk_ That's not completely true. It was a corporation between Czechoslovakia and East Germany. Some actors were Czech and spoke Czech during the filming process and others were East German and spoke German. In the German version the Czech actors are dubbed and in the Czech version the ones from East Germany are dubbed.
Live Christmas trees will keep a month. We put them up the day after Thanksgiving (or at least that weekend). A few tricks: make a fresh cut on the bottom of the tree and also make 2 or 4 holes into the bottom of the trunk, add Seven-Up/Sprite 50% with water in the bowl regularly (never let it get close to 1/3rd full), don't put it near a heater/vent.
Yes, I speak perfectly Romanian and Italian. And now I use more English since I am living in the Netherlands. Romanian is dominant when I am mad or for expressing my emotions. So yes, I tend to switch to Romanian when I struggle emotionally, because it is my first language
Time to add another language 😉
Trying to learn to speak Dutch will become "difficult" if the conversation switches to English everytime.
It will prevent you from practicing Dutch but just tell the other person you want to practice the language and they'll be more patient, I hope.🤔
My husband is from Romania and I've picked up saying Doamne ferește from his mom 😂 his favorite hobby is antagonizing her so as you can imagine she says it a lot 😅
@@bartholvangent3225 It's just that we are so used to using more than one language that we unintentionally switch to what we think the other party understands best. But just as you said, tell us to speak dutch and we wil.
I'm American with a Cuban lady. It's interesting and makes it fun to learn the differences.
As a Brit, I joined Feli's channel partly because I wanted to see whether I identified more with Feli (we're both European) or with Americans (we both speak English plus the shared history and culture stuff).
And what is your conclusion ?
There's hardly a European culture, so I guess Brits and Americans are closer culturally speaking than Brits and other Europeans.
@@donaldduck2621 Its tricky, but on balance I think my "European" side wins out - probably partly helped by the fact that Feli speaks perfect English! It's not an anti-American thing! And its probably because I've travelled Europe so much more. But despite the language issue, I think I feel more "at home" in most of Europe than in the USA. But I don't think all Brits would give the same answer!
@@Siegbert85 Lol, what? Europeans have probably a richer and more diverse culture than anywhere else.
@@kryptonson I think the implication is that Brits don't really fit into European at least culture-wise
Nice UK sweater. i am married to a Kentuckyian and i am from Chicago and though it isn't an international relationship there are still serious cultural differances. it is great
In all Europe, people learn how to drive a stick car. I took my driving licence in Italy and if you learn how to drive an automatic car when you take your driving licence for any reason, you are not allowed to driving the manual car, The other way around is allowed
This isn't true. My husband's friends daughter learned how to drive an automatic in Switzerland. For Switzerland, a lot of the younger people (not all) tend to want to learn to drive with an automatic.
We have the same rule in Germany. Thanks for sharing.
@@jessicaely2521 That's why the Swiss are such terrible drivers I guess, especially on the Autobahn...
@@jitterskater 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙄🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Thanks for the laugh. I really needed that today. Swiss are better drivers. Germans tend to be timid drivers (not all). A lot of of Swiss are grab the bull by the horns kind of people.
@@jessicaely2521 Yeah, right. The Swiss are absolutely terrible, especially on the German Autobahn where they think that they can "die Sau rauslassen" and drive their expensive cars to their limits. Every single time I'm in BaWü, it's the same sorry spectacle.
My Family (Great Grandparents) were from Borgloh Germany and immigrated to Cincinnati and we were brought up to wait until everyone gets their food and/or drink before we start. Even though I am Three generations from my German Heritage, to me it is just rude to start eating before everyone gets their food. The only exception for me is at a big family gathering and the food is set up in a buffet style setting. It would not be practical to wait for everyone. I have thoroughly enjoyed your channel almost from the beginning, especially since I also live in Cincinnati !!! Happy New Year!!!😃😄😃😄
I'm wondering if either of you have taken the Meyers-Briggs personality test? I think you two are very compatible despite the cultural differences. Perhaps your personality types are very well matched. Or.....its probably your great love for each other!! (Maybe you two can do an online personality test and discuss the findings on a future installment of FFG.)
Schnitzel is wunderbar!!! Great choice Ben! Don't forget venison stew...a German gasthaus made the absolute best...it was in Donau-Eschingen
Ben is right that if the girl insists on paying for herself on the first date, the guy is going to assume she doesn't want to go out again. It's like her way of saying "this isn't really a date, we're just hanging out together as platonic friends". At least that's how the guy will see it.
True, but there is also the growing idea if who asks is who pays.
I hope both try to contribute 100% toward the success of your relationship if you want it to last. If one holds the promises over your head rather than working for the success, it will not work!
Growing up in the West, and having a patriotic dad, we were taught to respect the lethal force a gun has and always to be careful when handling a gun. We were taught not to just go out in the back yard and shoot but to find a gun range or make sure of where your projectile will go. While going into the wilderness, it is a good idea to have a gun with you for defense against a predictor. Where I live, there are bears, and cougars, coyotes, snakes, etc. In the season hunting is a thing in our family. Owning a gun is a constitutional right in the USA. .
It sounds like your father was a smart man.
Love the sweater Ben!!! Who Dey!!!
Australian who was married to a German Woman for 17 years and have a bilingual daughter with, I see you guys are working together on the relationship, that's essential. Our marriage failed for many reasons. I have no family, so my wife. ( from typical German Family )struggled with feeling at home in Oz. Not an issue for you in either country. The one thing I have noticed is most relationships across cultures have much more chance of making it when the native speaker learns the others language to the very best they can " minimal high conversational level " read too. Not just Ich Liebe dich. The very best of luck.😃
There are so many great churches in both countries !! Christmas is awesome !! Thanks James Schulz
Regarding the "need for walks and fresh air" as Ben said, I have to add this German saying "There is no bad weather, there are just the wrong clothes" (Es gibt kein schlechtes Wetter, nur schlechte Kleidung) I think that is a very common German saying. Germans tend to go for a walk no matter the weather. 😄
I hated that saying when I was in kindergarten or elementary school lol
I find myself annoying using it, cause I still hate it and am possibly one of the free Germans who hates to go in walks. Every time I visit my family is gonna be like: "Let's go for a walk! Where should we go? We've been around here so much, let's go somewhere else." I think very disturbing for Americans (and me) is that we drive to go for a walk! I mean why?!😭 and when though, they know I hate going for walks, in somehow always forced to go with them.
There is another German saying that describes what I heard from Feli and Ben about America. Why walk, if you have 4 healthy wheels? (Warum laufen, ich hab vier gesunde Räder) meaning is, that you could just drive where you're supposed to walk to.
Feli, You and I would get along great! The straight forwardness is what I like about the Germans, as I have German in me , I have friends who tell me that I am too straight forward sometimes but That is ok. I live in California and I feel like people out here don't really say what they mean which is irritating.
In regards to the times when a German word is inadvertently slipped into the conversation, does it basically go unnoticed if Ben understands it? I think it would be great to share/teach cultures like you two do.
I had a friend in school, whose parents where German and Greek respectively and usually spoke French with each other, as that was the language they were both most fluent in. The kids spoke all three languages fluently and natively (they learnt native German and Greek from their parents and grew up in a French environment and education). Dinner at their home was interesting, as all three languages were used at the same time and interchangeably. And usually their was no need to translate anything, as the parents were also reasonably familiar with each others language and able to get the gist of what was said. I was cool for the French and German but had to pass on the Greek. I‘m not sure they even realized when they used Greek until I looked at them rather stupidly and they had to quickly translate 😅
You both have a great attitude towards each others culture. Learning from each other and compromising when necessary is essential to ensuring that your relationship endures.
I have been in 30 different countries over the years and I loved learning about the culture of whichever country I was in at the time.
I have dated women from a few different counties/cultures in the past and I personally was very happy learning about the culture of the person that I was dating.
I love that you both respect each other to be open and discuss all the major issues even before they actually occur.
Good luck, you are definitely on the right path.
One thing I've noticed about a lot of bilingual people is that when they're speaking English they'll swear in their native tongue and when they`re speaking in their native language they`ll swear in English. That never fails to crack me up.
also, counting. No matter how proficient you get in another language, how much you use it in everyday life, might even lose fluency or vocabulary in your native language. You will always continue to count in the language you first learned your numbers in. Especially when doing it quickly or only in your head, adding up numbers and so forth. Or doing the 2-4-6-8 thing, skipping the uneven numbers and just tallying up the pairs.
and to be fair, it‘s quite popular to swear in English even for people who don‘t otherwise speak any English at all. It‘s the words that rappers and other musicians use and that are used in film (and usually not censored outside the US) and thus kids learn as a cool swear word. The more English swear words you know, the higher your street cred on a German playground…
I am a native English speaker that speaks Spanish on a nearly-native level, and I prefer to swear in Spanish. It's more expressive and you can use entire phrases and sentences to swear rather than just one word. It's automatic to me these days. When I dream in Spanish, it's usually me being angry at someone and swearing at them in a rapid fire fashion.
Christmas in Germany was Beautiful ❤Bad Kreuznach was Magical!