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Testing the 3dfx Voodoo5 9000
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- Опубликовано: 31 мар 2018
- 3dfx Voodoo5 9000 - 32 Way SLI Monster
Some of you might remember 3dfx wich who ruled the graphics card industry back in the late 90's. Their latest chip the VSA100 had a max spec of 32 way SLI, thoe such setup have never ben seen, well not until now!
The Voodoo5 9000 have 32 VSA100 chips clocked at 166mhz stacked together in greatest 3dfx style to be able to compete against Nvidias Geforce2 Ultra. The cards cooling is so perfectly dimensioned that it even makes a GeForce FX 5800 Ultra cry!
The mastepiece supports the state of the art Glide3 and can screw your image up with all the alphabet's diffrent kinda buffers and blurs.
Because of gobal warming concerns where this card never released to the public and this is the only replica not yet locked up at area 51.
Let me present you - The Voodoo5 9000
You are also welcome to like my facebook page :)
/ captainsworkspace
Sounds like the ocean and has a nice cool breeze. This isn't a graphics card. Its a beachside vacation simulation.
Why society. Why
I love it
This isn’t a graphics card, it’s a hoverboard.
Like ps2 startup
Part of the new VR experiance :P
I complety lost it when the fans started.
Same here :D
Same
Props to him for being able to play crisis with a jet next to him. XD
Iiftoff!
Classic!! LMAO!!
That thing has SLI capability.
Imagine 4 of those.
Together.
Ideal for Crysis 4 4K 60 fps
@@saniksport But will it run Minesweeper??
@@Thiesi better. You will feel like minesweeper if you only turn on this shit
Kidding? Only 1 card is manufactured)
128-way SLI
Honestly sometimes I wish these weren't April fool's jokes
Bank computers had boards nearly this big for networking.
@@gristlevonraben I've got some isa graphics cards that are super long. Not long like this card but still quite long
@@isaakwelch3451 I had some sound cards that were quite long, but never video cards, however, lately they seem to be getting bigger! Have a great day, Isaak!
You can wish but that would be wishful thinking lol !!!
I didn't know this until i read this comment...
"...only takes up 1 AGP slot!" Feels like typical Danish humor to me
Wait wait wait wait.....
HES DANISH????
Though he sounded Danish
@@whyareyouherelol24 were you in Ender's discord server???
He definitely has that danish pronunciation.
Definitely a danish accent.
This is crazily well done. I award you 5 pre-2010 RUclips stars.
★★★★★
That's about as big a compliment as you can get as post 2020 content creator.
Anybody notice the text in the bottom right of the BIOS POST? "Motherfuckerboard"
lol
Super Hero xD yeah
damn what is the res of your eyes?
@insaane me 3 lmao
Shits get better and better these days. lmao
Finally found something that can run Crysis
Think so! LuL
@@amitdeypablo4127 yep but no hdr.. 😂
@Zhuge Liang [Send Help] let's make it a 64 way for medium settings and put a wind turbine next to it, gotta use that energy
the stupid thing I have to run crysis at 800 by 600 is my 2.52GHz overclocked athlon XP single core retro rig (that system does have a 7800GS in it so the GPU is a good bit newer then the CPU)
You have won April Fools. You are now my favorite person on the internet.
PixelPipes
LOL real funny
MORE POWER! I think you mean a Bindford 9000, Tim Taylor loves this card!
... ohh Yeaaaahh ... xD
well done april fools none the less
if only it was not so obvious that the voodoo chip could not even support directx 7 fully (no hardware TnL) let alone shaders.
This joke is absolutely perfect. The over-the-top setup, the Old Windows NT with ALL THE GRAPHICS CARDS in device manager AND running chrysis on the oldest colour cathode monitor you have while a sticky tape is moving out of control because of all the fans blowing.
God damn, you win april fools in my book.
A work of Art for sure!
A, that's Windows 2000, not NT... B, that's not a cathode monitor, that's a very old LCD... maybe from around 2006.
*chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis chrysis*
It just looks like a CRT because of it's design from the front, you can see at the 0:24 second mark there's not enough space for it to house a tube.
Windows 2000 = NT5.0, besides this is Minisoft Windows from 2018. ;)
The best part is seeing the sticky note on the monitor flap around from the graphics card fans
It's a product key, even better
Sir i think your computer is taking off.
Brilliant, just brilliant!
No more April Fools jokes for the next 10 years, I assume?
I'd love to see the "behind the scenes", though, very well executed
@unreal but temporary he has 3 April fools videos and they are all great. I want to see more behind the scenes, the PCBs are very convincing.
I also feel like he's doing more than meets the eye. Those fans aren't moving that much air! I imagine he had to setup a larger fan to come on and blow the shit on his desk, but just enough to make you question your sanity and validity of this haha
Don't wanna ruin the 69 likes
@@bryanjk He is. Look at the memo on the monitor. It's purely cosmetic and getting air from the left side. Still amazingly enjoyable videos though.
>turns on PC
>it flly's away
Arthur G I believe you mean f l i e s
Arthur G 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Like a captain
Sits on card and hovers around the room
Lmao
"IT'S WORKING"
"WHAT? I CANT HEAR YOU"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"AAAAaaargh" (blown right out of the window by the fan-induced hurricane)
lmao
*It OnLy TaKeS oNe AgP sLoT!!11*
It's perfect for those compact builds
Jokes as side, you did a fantastic job.
Fandango Brandango damn who’s angry here lol
BEST COMMENT EVER
Perfect laptop GPU
at the expense of 2 meters...
Holy shit, this comment is already 2 years old, it feels like I wrote this yesterday.
But does it run Cr... Oh wait.
your line? xD
read my mind...
IL WAS ABOUT TO MAKE THAH JOKE 😭😭
Haha. I was gonna say skyrim
Gordon Goodman but does it run minecraft
That is some insane levels of dedication for a prank. Easily my favorite so far today. Would love to see a "making of"!
Definitely!!!
I would also love to see this
TT Isle of Man - Ride on the Edge You mean the other video he released for April fool's a year ago that was also a prank?
It is. Do you want me to list the reasons why?
yes
Amazing how you can recreate a card that looks so real. you do an excellent job man. Thanks
But can it run Crys- oh nevermind.
Before Crysis you should ask if it can run Far Cry, Doom 3, and Half Life 2 first. So do you think Voodoo 5 can run these 3 game ???
@@ytanonymity3585 u didn't get the meme did you
@@ytanonymity3585 Even Voodoo2 can run Half-Life 2. I have tested. But it doesn't look very good.
@@Erik.Lundberg I was playing FarCry on integrated gpu, it was terrible, but you can run it :-D
@@ytanonymity3585 it can run doom 3
1:11 Total SDRAM Video Memory Size: Crazy
This whole video is damn fantastic, LOL
hahahaahhhaha
Bios version 0.01/2 lolz
Also the "MOTHERFUCKERBOARD - AP55" :D
and "Minisoftware" :)
Lol
When I saw the card, I asked myself the standard question: "well that looks op, but can it run crysis?". I was not disappointed
They're remaking Crysis with upgraded textures and such. I probably need 2 of these bad boys!
"it's posting"
he said as the storm started.
brilliant.
Lol
3dfx exmployee 1: "wait, when the hell did we make this?"
3dfx employee 2: "what *didn't* we make while we were drunk?"
3dfx 1: "maybe that's why we went bankrupt."
Former 3dfx accountant: "No shit, sherlock!"
who needs a 2080ti
Yes, why a 2080ti when a 2090 is so mutch faster!
@@CaptainsWorkspace spoiler alert
@@d-phoenix2198 jhhahaha
@@CaptainsWorkspace foreshadowing.
So all of this is still slower than a 2080ti???
1:18 , anyone saw it has writen on the left corner MOTHERFUCKERBOARD ?? 😂😂
Lmao
Hahhaha lol 😂😂😂
It's right
Yeah bro! Now i saw it🤣🤣
Right*
I rarly laugh. People in my life are always commenting about how I almost never laugh. This shit here, made me laugh. Great job!
Still quieter than a PS4 Pro.
gmace001 LMAO!
gmace001 do you know what the original Xbox360 sounded like? PS4 Pro is silent compared to that
Napo m8 you realy want to compare that old card Sound to x360 or ps4. Btw nice bait
Napo but the original ps4 is so fucking loud o.o i hate that thing
Napo Original Xbox 360 wasnt loud at all O.o
1:05 bing bong "3dfx voodoo five now boarding." I was expecting that thing to take off. lol
Chief engineers 20 years later:
Let's already release this monster to the market.
Most powerful comeback in 20 years.
Chief Engineers of 3Dfx are working for AMD.
@@MindfulTones Yep and you miss some funny twitter scum.
@@MindfulTones But mostly Nvidia.
in fact, one guy can rework it. I mean he produces 5500, and has samples of 6000, so Im pretty sure he can do something like 7000. But of course, not 9000, because it is mechancal nonsence.
"Let's turn it on with a screwdriver"
>Hurricane appears in the office
I'm so tired of April Fools with the various tech companies all being "cute," but this... this is in a different league. It's epic. Please, please, please tell me that you actually built that monster card for this gag.
Aaron Martin-Colby it's epic
1985 - 2018 Minisoft corporation
I laughed way too hard when I noticed that
32x VooDoo5 9000 VS Windows 10 720/1080p
Kev3 idk abt the motherboard and cpu and those stuff tho. i thought motherboards have upgradable ram limits. right?
And putting this card into the motherboard from 2003 ??!
ez
32x v00d00 9OOO VS 0verwatch
32x VooDoo5 9000 vs NVIDIA Geforce and AMD Ryzen
Holy shit forget the April Fools graphics card, I didn't even know there were motherboards with *4 AGP slots.*
_Unless of course that was also an April Fool's joke._
Edit: Damn it I was bamboozled twice in one video.
I died when he loaded Crysis lmao
0:45 "free up space in your computer" ...while speaking of a 3ft long gargantuan card, with more silicon than most motherboards... 😂😂😂
More silicone then Hollywood a-listers boob jobs
@@scotttait2197 silicone is completely different to actual silicon.... that joke doesn't work.
This is now one of my new favourite videos ever. lol
The wind noise as it starts up, the name on the Award BIOS, the benchmark software, the sheer mechanical construction, the "convenient space saving design". Genius. :p
(P.S. Please tell us how the cards were made. They are VERY well done.)
IT'S - BEAUTIFUL! The Voodoo 5 9000 not only puts a jumbo jet to shame it's also longer than my computer desk!
@@twizz420 You seriously thought I didn't know that? lol.
@@ErnestPWorrell1984 I think I replied to the wrong comment, sorry.
@@twizz420 No worries. :P
You MUST have a nice day. No excuses. I love it man. Every single one of your videos is gold.
I love how well made this looks, same with the BitchinFast3D. Can't wait for next year's April first.
A CHANNEL ABOUT NOTHING yep, I totally believe you. *Sarcasm*
Which programs support this 🤔🤔🤔
When this is popping up in recommended 6 months after the upload.
Maybe Bungoholio mark
You have to appreciate the prep time to make this april fools joke.
the sincerity and powerfulness in the inflection of your voice from 0:00 to 0:30 is intoxicating. you made my day.
Seriously, I bet you stirred up the Voodoo 5 6000 fanatics with this video. Do you have detailed specs for the 9000? I'd like to see 4 of them in SLI. 128x VSA100 166MHz = 21248MHz GPU cluster. The world was not ready for it, until now.
Jules du Mont YeeeEEEESSSSS!!! :-D
It doesn't work like that. Multiple cores for cpu's or gpu's do not stack. 128 gpu's @ 166 MHz would only be 128x166 MHz. It wouldn't stack up to be 21,248 MHz. Just like a quade core 4 GHz proc isn't a 16 GHz proc. It is 4x4 GHz.
I hope silicon era comes to an end within the next decade. It's time for optical computing, wetware, graphene engineering and free energy devices for everyone.
Omg i never laughed hard. Especially when those fans kicked in.
This guy loads up Crysis, Russia immediately is asked if they think it's possible to get Chernobyl back online.
Windows 2000
Copyright (c) *1985-2018* Microsoft Corporation
lol april fools
(c) 1985 - 2018 *Minisoft* Corporation
He has modern windows you can customize it to look like 98
2:20 Steam and Crysis running on Windows 2000. Lol xD
They do if you have the Voodoo5 9000, nothing fucks with you then
Drivers running on Windows 2000. Lol
It's an april fool's joke.
@@DyoKasparov xD
Is old version steam and alpha version crysis
The dedication... hat off.
Only takes up one slot for space the card bigger then the entire rig haha. Great April 1 video.
Thank you YT algorithm for bringing me here, even if it's 5 years late. Pure gold. Only takes one AGP slot, and half of your room :D
holy shite its like a tornado in there xD
with added wind effects!
imagine taking your pc with this card to a lan party
... can you play Calculator at max settings?
The real Question is "Can it Run DOS?"
Some "Texas" calculators was stronger then "Amiga 2000" at the same time...
Mili Vanili well yee haw and yee yee
This guy makes the best videos on the internet.. haven't seen anyone come close... He should be making props for movies..
Video: Published in April 1
Me: *S U S P I C I U S .*
but is it faster than the bitchinfast 3d 2000?
the bitchinfast only has a single voodoo3 and four other gpus of its class, this one has 32 voodoo5's. so yeah, from video loca to video loco.
Kunaskev lmao!
i member that back in the day. Powerpc or whatever magazine. Really there was only one choice - voodoo. Then a few years later the geforce cards.
Well it is the official test card for Quake XI Murder Simulator.
linustechtips.com/main/applications/core/interface/imageproxy/imageproxy.php?img=i.imgur.com/SLG6hp4.jpg&key=22e842d779a8097005fd003eef30ecdc8750d1f6cf623dfa4d8dd22511a5f6c6
Glad to see someone gets it.
Crysis is a d3d game and the 3dfx logo comes? :D
This card must have special access to Crysis Glide mode for better graphics and performance ;)
The way the voodoo displayed games in 3D is the way that Hollywood displayed films in technicolor. I hope that developers will make games that hearken back to the early 3D acceleration era.
"That way you get a lot of free space in your computer." Windows 2000 for the OS with the OEM key stickered to the monitor. The visible and audible wind from all the fans. Going straight to Crysis to demonstrate. Absolutely incredible humor.
I especially like the box fan that blows the post-it note around. That's a great touch. Well done!
Amber Butitta : I don't think it's actually a box fan, I suspect those fans (and that LED) to be the only things receiving power on that board. SO much easier if you don't bother running traces from those chips...
Yes ，April comes
You must wait until the first of April every year after fabricating new cards hahaha!!! Lol. I love these.
Let me turn it on... with a screwdriver, let the hurricane live! Just noticed the date too, excellent :)
Finally the video card that plays everything and cools your whole house at the same time...LMAO great gag!
it is rummerd that of you played PONG on this card the game would turn from a table tennis to a massive open world 3rd person shooter that puts farcry to shame
Yao Wang what doesn't put far cry to shame
Yao Wang lol
You have to divide Pong by zero to get that to happen. Also, it's not a game, insomuch as it's a portal to the 5th dimension, where death is an illusion. You can basically do anything you want there without consequence, because the rules are so fluid they're set in stone. Don't ask me to try to make sense out of that.
This made me laugh my ass off
Hay Hay Your mom
I need one of these in my life. God knows that I need as many of my AGP slots free as possible.
q: can it run crysis
a: hold my beer.
Sees the thumbnail: "WHAT THE F THIS GUY IS CRAZY! DIDN'T KNEW THAT THERE ARE GRAPHICS CARDS THIS BI.... *SEES UPLOAD DATE* OH.. That makes sense now."
You got to give him some credit for splicing so many boards together and making the fans actually work, though.
@@Stoney3K just look at his news April Fools video, looks like way more efforts was put into it
Regardless of Aprils's Fool I lol'd at the sound of wind
Just saw the video for the first time!
Funny as hell man!! Nice work!
Also, I can't remember the last time I heard AGP pronounced out loud.
Maybe back when I was still rocking my GeForce FX5700 :)))
I absolutely love how he obviously turns on some sort of box fan behind him as he turns on the computer. Lol the bag on the table even blows over towards the computer, not away. I lost it at that point and had to pause the video to literally link this video to everyone I know. Well done dude, I damn near died watching this.
But can it play Cry..... oh. lol
It's Over 9000 ...
No, it is not.
Vegeta!!!!⏱️✊
Close but no cigar.
its 9000
It's exactly 9000
-Hello, Im an aeronautical engineer, may I bought a Voodoo5 9000?
-Why, you need to compute complex physics?
-No, I just need fans to make a wind tunnel
I lost it when you said "this bitch over here"..
dont ever change sweet child
Well done sir well done 😘
This is like something you would see on the movie Idiocracy... The 3-D FX voodoo 5, 9000, rape your benchmarks, and your utilities!
hah
It's got electrolytes. It's what games want!
"If you don't like our hardware, fuck you."
Yeah, this classic and revolutionary GPU such as 3DFX Voodoo rape NVIDIA and AMD
Johan Fouche what company who bought them ?! Company who bought Voodoo should be killed
THE ENTIRE CARD WIGGLES BACK AND FORTH WITH THE FORCE OF THE FANS HAHAHAHAHA
KKKK looks like an F15 taking off. (0:58) MUST BE WELL NICE ON HOT DAYS.
Thank you for the this video absolute perfection.
You should Peltier cool the entire card for overclocking. Be sure to just use one external block and one water cooler pump. Lol.
Nice 1st april joke, i think you've awaited soooooo long to get this ready to be published, ahahahah really nice One ! Definitevely enjoyed the video ! Ahahahah
This gpu turned the main character into terminator. nothing can harm him haha
The wind blowing the post it note around is priceless. And I'm sorry jet engine? More like fucking tornado lmfao
Not sure if its April Fool of this card is really existing :D
Same, it looks very realistic that card
gotta go over the details on that thing. Its most likely faked.
If that thing was the real deal, think of the PSU you'd need to fire it up!
modern psus would handle it with ease, the chipset would be more energy efficent by comparison to modern
It is real, check it out. Extremely rare card, very expensive too. That motherboard is an ASUS P2B-DS, very rare too. Nevermind, that 9000 is bullshit xD
Sad thing is i want one
OvertlyComplicated it doesn't exist
@@logans811 Watch the video, apparently it does exist.
Based on the 1.2k dislikes I’m guessing a lot of people were pissed after they got to the end and checked ebay to buy their own Voodoo5 9000.
When this randomly pops up in your recommended lol
thanks for the product key on your monitor :)
Goodluck with Windows 95
1:30 Minisoft Corporation LOL
IscleGaming | ZefaCraft xd
Lul
1985-2018.....kahkahkah...
kek
"NOTHING compares to this bitch over here" Fucking brilliant 🤣🤣🤣
I completely lost it as soon as the fans started, I swear everyone in the room looked at me funny. You sir have won me over, have a sub.
"You get a lot of free space in your computer"
Maybe if the computer could only be viewed on a 2d plane!
The efficiency outweighs the fan cooling thus its the first fan built water boiler
I still can't believe how many people this gets! I keep coming back because I love it! I give it 6 months, a year, and I still bust out laughing. I love the post it note ready to fly away!
This is some advanced form of humour
I would be really intrested in a making of for this video! How did you make that? Is it actuallly working or just some fake trickery?
Hey last game I played on this Computer was Commander Keen with MS DOS.
We wait for more test and gaming. Good luck, take care of this stuff too.
This is awesome! I want a dedicated channel with news, reviews, and tests of such stuff with completely straight faces