I think dressing modestly really takes the off pressure of caring what other people think. And when you stop caring so much, life gets so much easier. Lol. Plus you'll always get great compliments from my Grandma. 😅💕
I resonate so strongly with this. I have tried to keep up with what was trending for most of my life, and I always felt like I was wearing someone else’s clothes, and didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. Once I had my daughters, I became hyper aware of how revealing the items in my closet were (and honestly how the fashion industry sexualizes children’s clothes), how uncomfortable I was on a daily basis, and how self conscious my clothes made me feel. I didn’t feel like I could play with my children without something showing, or I couldn’t fully engage with them because my outfit was too tight or constricting. Once I started dressing modestly, I felt a surge of confidence! I could sit, squat, lay down, climb, run, and jump around with my girls without feeling inhibited one way or another. It was such a defining moment of freedom for me, and my husband could sense my new confidence, which he found sexy- who knew?! I hope I can instill the same body positivity I have found as an adult, in my children as they grow up. I want them to know their bodies are beautiful and strong, but they don’t have to put them on display to fit in or feel confident. Don’t let your clothes get in the way of enjoying your life and letting your inner beauty shine.
YES! I did my own experiment, because even being slim and active, I noticed that I wore long tops over my jeans and even when I covered up I would knit-pick the way my thighs looked in them. Even though I was ‘covered’, I felt bare. The wake of women rebelling against feminine fashions in history brought with it more body insecurities, like you suggested with the early 2000’s. Our body being on display at all times. I wore skirts (98% of the time) all last year. Not only did I feel more feminine and lovely, but my thighs were never on display, so I never worried about it. I was so confident in what I wore even if I was a little unsure about the particular outfit.
Yes, I couldn't agree more! I started only wearing dresses and skirts over a year ago(all modest). My self esteem and self confidence has improved so so much! I also learned to love the way God made me and make sure to take care of myself.
“A short-term solution that is taking care of your own mental health is worth pursuing while we’re tackling bigger issues.” Well said for many contexts 🙏🏾
Dressing modestly improved my self esteem because I learned that guys are still very interested in me even though I don’t show my body. It has made me feel more confident in myself as a person.
I started dressing more modestly maybe five years ago and it's definitely improved my self esteem! I actually feel more attractive when I'm covered up.
I'm ancient by Internet standards, but I am still fashion-forward (even though I'm in my 50s) and after coming of age in a time where femininity and image were defined by how much you could get away with revealing (think: Madonna in the 80s - she was the 'fashion icon' of my young adulthood) I have struggled with the whole "does this make me look fat" and "I can't wear that because my arms are [fill-in-the-blank]" for the better part of two decades. I was a slave to how the clothes were wearing ME as opposed to how I wore the clothes. In my mid-40s I had the revelation that Aletheia outlines perfectly in this video. I never consciously made a decision to wear modest clothing, I just starting choosing options that complimented me and made me feel good about myself, rather than letting society dictate what I SHOULD wear to 'prove' my femininity. I look at Madonna now, who is in her 60s, and I'm glad that she can still wear those hyper-revealing clothes from the 80s and strut her confidence in them, but I no longer feel that I have to take her choices as an example of how I should look. Thank you for discussing this topic, Aletheia! You're reaching a much younger audience than my demographic who need to hear this at this stage of their lives. I enjoy your content very much (and I made a mask out of cow print material - complete with the 'nose ring' - and get compliments up and down!) and love your energy!
Dressing modestly for me has been amazing. I changed the way I dress around 8 years ago due to religious conviction and I haven't looked back. The biggest thing I've noticed is that once I put an outfit on for the day, I'm thinking about the project I'm working on, the person I'm with, the conversation I'm having etc. I no longer fuss over my clothes, pulling a top down, adjusting pants etc. I also always feel like I'm dressed for any occasion. I went to church after work last Friday and felt comfortable in what I was wearing. Regardless of the event or occasion I always feel ready. I don't have to rush home to get changed because what I wear is appropriate for any situation. I also shop in op shops primarily and it's wonderful picking up incredible quality pieces for next to nothing. My wardrobe is actually full of beautiful, timeless pieces. That's nice too. That is so freeing and I feel so relaxed. It allows me to get on with life and enjoy every moment without worrying about my clothes.
I experienced sexual trauma, so i feel vulnerable and naked in a lot of modern clothes, which tend to be more revealing (and it seems like every year they become more revealing somehow). For a while i have been wondering if i should cover up more in order to feel more comfortable or if that would mean that i let my fear and therefore my abusers win. Especially since i know of course that people experience sexual trauma no matter what they wear so it wouldnt actually make me safer to dress differently. But it makes me feel safer and you are absolutely right that if it helps your mental health, you should do it! At least while working on the bigger issues, which in my case is recovering from PTSD. Especially now that it's getting warmer i started researching modest fashion again cause the standard summer outfits for 20 somthings here in spain are super revealing and it's kind of hard to find anything else that still looks good (imo). So during summer i always have a lot more anxiety, simply cause that layer of clothes between me and the world is mostly missing. I basically just wanted to say thanks for your videos, i find them very inspiring
As someone in recovery for anorexia nervosa I find that not constantly seeing my body in store windows/reflective surfaces is a priceless benefit to wearing more modest clothes, because I find I'm personally not very self-conscious but rather I'm very body-focused and taking my mind off of my body has been huge for me. I've also appreciated how much grace modest clothes give me as my weight fluctuates. If I get stressed and lose my appetite I don't feel depressed that my skinny jeans don't fit my butt as nicely, and if I'm eating well and working out I don't feel the allure of relapsing when my favorite crop top is making my bloating tummy look more prominent. By wearing flowy dresses or loose pants I feel fashionable, confident, and most importantly: I feel like myself.
Since dressing modestly I have definitely felt less self-conscious! It even changed the way I exercised. Instead of being worried about how the workout would shape my body in a way that would be noticed by others, I could just focus on performance goals and being healthy!
I did begin viewing myself better. I used to think I had to dress a certain way because it was popular, trending, and easily available at stores. Plus, the clothes were cheaper. Now I have been dressing modestly (because I watched on of your videos and I resonated....), and I definitely feel more confident. I still wear crop tops, and things still, but I don't feel like I HAVE to show skin to look good anymore...I have my own style and I don't have to look like everyone else.
You're such a blessing 🤗. I watched your video on the vogue competition and I'm currently also working on something to be submitted in a week's time. I was about to just give up because I donn't even think I'm good enough to win but your video encouraged me to make sure I submit irrespective of what the outcome is. Who knows what could happen. On my way to finish my work now. Bye 😎
I'm so glad you're posting more often please keep it up!! I was watching a video by Brian Holdsworth (I think that's his last name) on modesty and his take on it was that modesty is a way of controlling information, how much information you want to give other people and that really resonated with me. I don't like the idea of having various parts of my body evaluated and found wanting, if that makes sense. Dressing more modestly gives me a measure of control over that.
The 6:15 hit me like a big *wham*. I’ve been trying to put words to why I feel called to modest clothing that isn’t slut-shaming. The fact is that so much women’s clothing is sexualized and that *does* contribute to eating disorders. Refusing to purchase and wear sexualized clothing is not the *only* way to combat this, but it can be very helpful!!
What you said at 5:20 really resonated with me. I'm starting to get more into fashion and was looking at a lot of 18th and 19th century fashion youtubers. Something one of them mentioned (I think it was Abby Cox) was how with clothes of that time a woman would be wear so many layers to create the silhouette that was fashionable at the time. So your body didn't have to change or be a certain way to fit the fashion. And while that shouldn't be the case now either it does become a lot harder when a big part of the fashion look is your body. I've already liked dressing modestly I'm just trying to really define my style now but what you've said about confidence tracks. I feel a lot less self-conscious in more modest clothing.
I love that you have found a positive way of dealing with your concerns. It's also great that you feel able to talk about it and show that we all have these issues. You have a fantastic way of looking at body issues, the reasons and the ways to deal with it.
I love wearing modest and fashionable clothing. Some people assume that if you dress modest you are dowdy but in truth that’s BS. I dress super sharp but modest !!
I never went through a huge dressing immodestly and following fashion trends, but around two years ago, I did fall into it during my freshmen year of high school. I can't say I necessarily regret it because I hate staying stuck in the past and pondering over it, but I am much more comfortable dressing modestly as I do now. During that year I was the most self conscious of my body I had ever been and for some silly things too. One thing was I wanted my hips to be curvier and this was a thing that was on my mind much more often when I was wearing tighter clothing. Currently, I'm actually very happy with my body. People often assume that I dress modestly because I am self conscious about my body or it's just because my religion says I have to. I'm much happier about my body now and while dressing modestly is a big part of my religion, I wouldn't just follow it if it wasn't for bettering myself. I feel like when I dress modestly people actually focus on me and not my boobs or butt. Women are hyper sexualized in the current western society and I think dressing modestly is a way to counter this. The standards are held up because people fall into them. Simple as that.
Great video! I loved what you had to say. I agree, by dressing more modestly you can be in the present moment and not be as focused about how you look.
I LOVE dressing modestly. I find that I am way more comfortable now it my own skin, clothes, and interactions with others. I love covering up my butt, boobs, and waste. I find that people also see and treat me differently, much more as a human being, a person, instead of a body that is on display. Both men and women treat me way better and with much more respect since I dress more modestly. And who wants someone who is only attracted to your body? Because if that's how it starts, what will he do when you get old, wrinkly, pregnant, sick, ect.😳 Nope, I want someone to love me for me. And someone who joyfully overlooks mymflaws because he loves be as a human being, and not a body. I want someone who will not look at me for how I look or for my body. Because that WILL change. Plus who wants to be a stumbling block or a temptation to men? Especially someone else's boyfriend or husband. That's not fair to her, him, or yourself. Being immodest really does noone any favors.
A lot of people find it empowering to dress a bit immodestly. I don’t really know who came up with that, but I guess I understand it to an extent. Showing off your body and being proud of it is what should come out of showing any skin. But if someone has any discomfort with being exposed or negative attention from it, I think modesty is extremely important. I’ve tried to be modest my whole life, but a lot of styles now are kinda exposing. I’m not comfortable with that, but I don’t wanna look like a homeschool kid my whole life 😂. So I’ve been working on developing modest and still fashionable outfits for myself. It is hard though doing both. But I really enjoy clothes and piecing stuff together, so I won’t give up. Thanks for posting this video, I’m really happy someone these days understands the good of modesty and how it can benefit the person instead of stifling them
For me that's the whole point of clothes. To make my body look good. I am a nudist by nature and if i must wear clothes to make other people comfortable and not get arrested my body better have a nice silhouette. I will check the full length mirror and if i don't look good i will change. I am on board with the modest approach yes, i don't want my boobs on display or my butt hanging out and I'm not 17 and showing my belly. That is more of a reflection of how people react than whether i care.
I have almost always been a modest dresser, but I have certainly become more modest as I have gotten older. I am almost 50 now, and I like clothes that fit well (I'm a seamstress). But I don't feel like people are looking at things that I don't want them to. We recently moved to a conservative town, and I fit right in. I also enjoy that only my husband gets to see certain things. He finds it sexy too.
just based off of the title, it doesn’t sound crazy, but it just comes down to personal preference, i think. i find that i only feel uncomfortable in a space if i’m dressed really inappropriately for the event or setting
I think dressing modestly really takes the off pressure of caring what other people think. And when you stop caring so much, life gets so much easier. Lol. Plus you'll always get great compliments from my Grandma. 😅💕
I resonate so strongly with this. I have tried to keep up with what was trending for most of my life, and I always felt like I was wearing someone else’s clothes, and didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. Once I had my daughters, I became hyper aware of how revealing the items in my closet were (and honestly how the fashion industry sexualizes children’s clothes), how uncomfortable I was on a daily basis, and how self conscious my clothes made me feel. I didn’t feel like I could play with my children without something showing, or I couldn’t fully engage with them because my outfit was too tight or constricting. Once I started dressing modestly, I felt a surge of confidence! I could sit, squat, lay down, climb, run, and jump around with my girls without feeling inhibited one way or another. It was such a defining moment of freedom for me, and my husband could sense my new confidence, which he found sexy- who knew?! I hope I can instill the same body positivity I have found as an adult, in my children as they grow up. I want them to know their bodies are beautiful and strong, but they don’t have to put them on display to fit in or feel confident. Don’t let your clothes get in the way of enjoying your life and letting your inner beauty shine.
This!! 👏
YES! I did my own experiment, because even being slim and active, I noticed that I wore long tops over my jeans and even when I covered up I would knit-pick the way my thighs looked in them.
Even though I was ‘covered’, I felt bare.
The wake of women rebelling against feminine fashions in history brought with it more body insecurities, like you suggested with the early 2000’s.
Our body being on display at all times.
I wore skirts (98% of the time) all last year. Not only did I feel more feminine and lovely, but my thighs were never on display, so I never worried about it. I was so confident in what I wore even if I was a little unsure about the particular outfit.
Yes, I couldn't agree more! I started only wearing dresses and skirts over a year ago(all modest). My self esteem and self confidence has improved so so much! I also learned to love the way God made me and make sure to take care of myself.
“A short-term solution that is taking care of your own mental health is worth pursuing while we’re tackling bigger issues.” Well said for many contexts 🙏🏾
Dressing modestly improved my self esteem because I learned that guys are still very interested in me even though I don’t show my body. It has made me feel more confident in myself as a person.
I started dressing more modestly maybe five years ago and it's definitely improved my self esteem! I actually feel more attractive when I'm covered up.
I'm ancient by Internet standards, but I am still fashion-forward (even though I'm in my 50s) and after coming of age in a time where femininity and image were defined by how much you could get away with revealing (think: Madonna in the 80s - she was the 'fashion icon' of my young adulthood) I have struggled with the whole "does this make me look fat" and "I can't wear that because my arms are [fill-in-the-blank]" for the better part of two decades. I was a slave to how the clothes were wearing ME as opposed to how I wore the clothes. In my mid-40s I had the revelation that Aletheia outlines perfectly in this video. I never consciously made a decision to wear modest clothing, I just starting choosing options that complimented me and made me feel good about myself, rather than letting society dictate what I SHOULD wear to 'prove' my femininity. I look at Madonna now, who is in her 60s, and I'm glad that she can still wear those hyper-revealing clothes from the 80s and strut her confidence in them, but I no longer feel that I have to take her choices as an example of how I should look. Thank you for discussing this topic, Aletheia! You're reaching a much younger audience than my demographic who need to hear this at this stage of their lives. I enjoy your content very much (and I made a mask out of cow print material - complete with the 'nose ring' - and get compliments up and down!) and love your energy!
Dressing modestly for me has been amazing. I changed the way I dress around 8 years ago due to religious conviction and I haven't looked back.
The biggest thing I've noticed is that once I put an outfit on for the day, I'm thinking about the project I'm working on, the person I'm with, the conversation I'm having etc.
I no longer fuss over my clothes, pulling a top down, adjusting pants etc. I also always feel like I'm dressed for any occasion.
I went to church after work last Friday and felt comfortable in what I was wearing. Regardless of the event or occasion I always feel ready. I don't have to rush home to get changed because what I wear is appropriate for any situation.
I also shop in op shops primarily and it's wonderful picking up incredible quality pieces for next to nothing. My wardrobe is actually full of beautiful, timeless pieces. That's nice too.
That is so freeing and I feel so relaxed. It allows me to get on with life and enjoy every moment without worrying about my clothes.
I experienced sexual trauma, so i feel vulnerable and naked in a lot of modern clothes, which tend to be more revealing (and it seems like every year they become more revealing somehow). For a while i have been wondering if i should cover up more in order to feel more comfortable or if that would mean that i let my fear and therefore my abusers win. Especially since i know of course that people experience sexual trauma no matter what they wear so it wouldnt actually make me safer to dress differently. But it makes me feel safer and you are absolutely right that if it helps your mental health, you should do it! At least while working on the bigger issues, which in my case is recovering from PTSD. Especially now that it's getting warmer i started researching modest fashion again cause the standard summer outfits for 20 somthings here in spain are super revealing and it's kind of hard to find anything else that still looks good (imo). So during summer i always have a lot more anxiety, simply cause that layer of clothes between me and the world is mostly missing.
I basically just wanted to say thanks for your videos, i find them very inspiring
As someone in recovery for anorexia nervosa I find that not constantly seeing my body in store windows/reflective surfaces is a priceless benefit to wearing more modest clothes, because I find I'm personally not very self-conscious but rather I'm very body-focused and taking my mind off of my body has been huge for me. I've also appreciated how much grace modest clothes give me as my weight fluctuates. If I get stressed and lose my appetite I don't feel depressed that my skinny jeans don't fit my butt as nicely, and if I'm eating well and working out I don't feel the allure of relapsing when my favorite crop top is making my bloating tummy look more prominent. By wearing flowy dresses or loose pants I feel fashionable, confident, and most importantly: I feel like myself.
Since dressing modestly I have definitely felt less self-conscious! It even changed the way I exercised. Instead of being worried about how the workout would shape my body in a way that would be noticed by others, I could just focus on performance goals and being healthy!
I did begin viewing myself better. I used to think I had to dress a certain way because it was popular, trending, and easily available at stores. Plus, the clothes were cheaper. Now I have been dressing modestly (because I watched on of your videos and I resonated....), and I definitely feel more confident. I still wear crop tops, and things still, but I don't feel like I HAVE to show skin to look good anymore...I have my own style and I don't have to look like everyone else.
You're such a blessing 🤗.
I watched your video on the vogue competition and I'm currently also working on something to be submitted in a week's time. I was about to just give up because I donn't even think I'm good enough to win but your video encouraged me to make sure I submit irrespective of what the outcome is. Who knows what could happen.
On my way to finish my work now. Bye 😎
I'm so glad you're posting more often please keep it up!! I was watching a video by Brian Holdsworth (I think that's his last name) on modesty and his take on it was that modesty is a way of controlling information, how much information you want to give other people and that really resonated with me. I don't like the idea of having various parts of my body evaluated and found wanting, if that makes sense. Dressing more modestly gives me a measure of control over that.
Yes totally! I became super confident as I dressed more modest and feminine!
This makes so much sense.
I relate to this so much! And in a way I feel sexier now then I did when I dressed more fitted and exposed more skin.
The 6:15 hit me like a big *wham*. I’ve been trying to put words to why I feel called to modest clothing that isn’t slut-shaming. The fact is that so much women’s clothing is sexualized and that *does* contribute to eating disorders. Refusing to purchase and wear sexualized clothing is not the *only* way to combat this, but it can be very helpful!!
You gave me some new perspectives. Thank you!
What you said at 5:20 really resonated with me. I'm starting to get more into fashion and was looking at a lot of 18th and 19th century fashion youtubers. Something one of them mentioned (I think it was Abby Cox) was how with clothes of that time a woman would be wear so many layers to create the silhouette that was fashionable at the time. So your body didn't have to change or be a certain way to fit the fashion. And while that shouldn't be the case now either it does become a lot harder when a big part of the fashion look is your body.
I've already liked dressing modestly I'm just trying to really define my style now but what you've said about confidence tracks. I feel a lot less self-conscious in more modest clothing.
I love that you have found a positive way of dealing with your concerns. It's also great that you feel able to talk about it and show that we all have these issues. You have a fantastic way of looking at body issues, the reasons and the ways to deal with it.
I love wearing modest and fashionable clothing. Some people assume that if you dress modest you are dowdy but in truth that’s BS. I dress super sharp but modest !!
I never went through a huge dressing immodestly and following fashion trends, but around two years ago, I did fall into it during my freshmen year of high school. I can't say I necessarily regret it because I hate staying stuck in the past and pondering over it, but I am much more comfortable dressing modestly as I do now. During that year I was the most self conscious of my body I had ever been and for some silly things too. One thing was I wanted my hips to be curvier and this was a thing that was on my mind much more often when I was wearing tighter clothing. Currently, I'm actually very happy with my body. People often assume that I dress modestly because I am self conscious about my body or it's just because my religion says I have to. I'm much happier about my body now and while dressing modestly is a big part of my religion, I wouldn't just follow it if it wasn't for bettering myself. I feel like when I dress modestly people actually focus on me and not my boobs or butt. Women are hyper sexualized in the current western society and I think dressing modestly is a way to counter this. The standards are held up because people fall into them. Simple as that.
Colab with micara tewer plz
I'm also studying Fashion designing but at the same time i want to dress modestly thanks for sharing your experience ❤️❤️
Great video! I loved what you had to say. I agree, by dressing more modestly you can be in the present moment and not be as focused about how you look.
Thank you so much for this video!
I LOVE dressing modestly. I find that I am way more comfortable now it my own skin, clothes, and interactions with others. I love covering up my butt, boobs, and waste.
I find that people also see and treat me differently, much more as a human being, a person, instead of a body that is on display.
Both men and women treat me way better and with much more respect since I dress more modestly.
And who wants someone who is only attracted to your body? Because if that's how it starts, what will he do when you get old, wrinkly, pregnant, sick, ect.😳
Nope, I want someone to love me for me. And someone who joyfully overlooks mymflaws because he loves be as a human being, and not a body.
I want someone who will not look at me for how I look or for my body. Because that WILL change.
Plus who wants to be a stumbling block or a temptation to men? Especially someone else's boyfriend or husband. That's not fair to her, him, or yourself.
Being immodest really does noone any favors.
A lot of people find it empowering to dress a bit immodestly. I don’t really know who came up with that, but I guess I understand it to an extent. Showing off your body and being proud of it is what should come out of showing any skin. But if someone has any discomfort with being exposed or negative attention from it, I think modesty is extremely important. I’ve tried to be modest my whole life, but a lot of styles now are kinda exposing. I’m not comfortable with that, but I don’t wanna look like a homeschool kid my whole life 😂. So I’ve been working on developing modest and still fashionable outfits for myself. It is hard though doing both. But I really enjoy clothes and piecing stuff together, so I won’t give up. Thanks for posting this video, I’m really happy someone these days understands the good of modesty and how it can benefit the person instead of stifling them
For me that's the whole point of clothes. To make my body look good. I am a nudist by nature and if i must wear clothes to make other people comfortable and not get arrested my body better have a nice silhouette. I will check the full length mirror and if i don't look good i will change. I am on board with the modest approach yes, i don't want my boobs on display or my butt hanging out and I'm not 17 and showing my belly. That is more of a reflection of how people react than whether i care.
I have almost always been a modest dresser, but I have certainly become more modest as I have gotten older. I am almost 50 now, and I like clothes that fit well (I'm a seamstress). But I don't feel like people are looking at things that I don't want them to. We recently moved to a conservative town, and I fit right in. I also enjoy that only my husband gets to see certain things. He finds it sexy too.
Thank you.
Well said!!
just based off of the title, it doesn’t sound crazy, but it just comes down to personal preference, i think. i find that i only feel uncomfortable in a space if i’m dressed really inappropriately for the event or setting
Thats 👍 trueee
☝👈💙👈