I was enjoying this song as I smoked listlessly off of the balcony of an Eastern European hotel. The man from before lay still in the murky sheets. I exhaled, the only thing dingier than this room was the interior of the taxi cab that pulled away on the day I left. Left behind everything for this city. This unforgiving maze of concrete and steel that I had idealized in my youth had become a cool slate, a slate for nothing more than indulgent fantasy and dreams that only creep back in during the most lucid of nights. A flitter of a voice in the rush of traffic, her name. I knew she wouldn’t be there so I fought the compulsion to look up. The record stops spinning but my eyes never refocus. “I wonder if I left her enough cat food, I’ll be home in the morning…”
❤
I was enjoying this song as I smoked listlessly off of the balcony of an Eastern European hotel. The man from before lay still in the murky sheets. I exhaled, the only thing dingier than this room was the interior of the taxi cab that pulled away on the day I left. Left behind everything for this city. This unforgiving maze of concrete and steel that I had idealized in my youth had become a cool slate, a slate for nothing more than indulgent fantasy and dreams that only creep back in during the most lucid of nights. A flitter of a voice in the rush of traffic, her name. I knew she wouldn’t be there so I fought the compulsion to look up. The record stops spinning but my eyes never refocus. “I wonder if I left her enough cat food, I’ll be home in the morning…”
How I feel after I hear the news (another world war is almost inevitable)