How to Become a Criminal Mastermind in Mount and Blade 2 Bannerlord! Dank Edition ✔

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  • Опубликовано: 1 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 366

  • @Koifish
    @Koifish  4 года назад +156

    *KOIFISH MERCH WEOOO WEOOO WEOO*
    Yes that's right! Me, Koifish, JUST released his very own merch! Check it out: freshmerch.fm/koifish
    Also, I hope you enjoy my return to the classic How To series! It was VERY fun to record this! More epic content coming very soon!

    • @nowheat7987
      @nowheat7987 4 года назад +1

      Koifish can you be my dad

    • @sauronmordor7494
      @sauronmordor7494 4 года назад

      :p

    • @andychampe9955
      @andychampe9955 4 года назад

      koifish if you do not give us episode four of the conqueror i will be very upset

    • @marcus4046
      @marcus4046 4 года назад +1

      Koifish when you reach 150k subscribers can you ask ms koifish to do a little letsplay of bannerlord or mount and blade warband?

    • @Ibrahim-rv9fh
      @Ibrahim-rv9fh 4 года назад

      Try perisnos mode 1.0 koifish

  • @jeanduhamel9101
    @jeanduhamel9101 4 года назад +787

    « You look like a villain from lazytown » thats a swadian level insult there

    • @CazadorSlayer
      @CazadorSlayer 4 года назад +11

      I knew it was coming because of this comment and it STILL killed me.

    • @Spooks8
      @Spooks8 4 года назад

      That should be a compliment 😂

    • @michaelterrencefernandezli6688
      @michaelterrencefernandezli6688 4 года назад +2

      I look like melted butter
      Only swadians will understand

    • @wapankiller1219
      @wapankiller1219 2 года назад +2

      Then, he is number 1

  • @sirdigsbytheteadrinker8867
    @sirdigsbytheteadrinker8867 4 года назад +637

    Real youtube veterans skipped past the raid ad so fast that they missed the merch plug

    • @wenzelplot
      @wenzelplot 4 года назад +2

      how the fuck do you people not have adblock?

    • @denndenn1832
      @denndenn1832 4 года назад +41

      @@wenzelplot He meant the advertisement he did in the video itself lol

    • @Leon-oc4em
      @Leon-oc4em 4 года назад +32

      @@wenzelplot bruh

    • @wenzelplot
      @wenzelplot 4 года назад +6

      @@denndenn1832 lol im dumb, that makes more sense.

    • @wenzelplot
      @wenzelplot 4 года назад +4

      @@Leon-oc4em my b

  • @Stroocker
    @Stroocker 4 года назад +386

    It is impossible not to love this modern cuddly viking

  • @victorjuarez2095
    @victorjuarez2095 3 года назад +70

    “I shall create the face of an absolute villain” and then creates a high elf

    • @Monkeh516
      @Monkeh516 2 года назад +5

      But they are absolute villains

  • @Tuxwell
    @Tuxwell 4 года назад +204

    "We live in a society." I guess Koifish just became Clownfish

  • @eckelrock
    @eckelrock 4 года назад +391

    Gender: *STURGIAN*

    • @danijellino1921
      @danijellino1921 4 года назад +3

      Lmao look at you thinking Sturgia is a real place

    • @CBRN-115
      @CBRN-115 4 года назад +1

      @@danijellino1921 is just a joke bruh

    • @danijellino1921
      @danijellino1921 4 года назад +6

      @@CBRN-115 So was my comment.
      It's a meme in the Mount and Blade community on how sturgia always get's owned.

    • @user-ml2kx3zx2l
      @user-ml2kx3zx2l 4 года назад +2

      @@CBRN-115 woooosh

    • @Himmyjewett
      @Himmyjewett 4 года назад +2

      @@CBRN-115 damn you got recruited by swadia and got fucked

  • @eckelrock
    @eckelrock 4 года назад +146

    The next time I rob a bank, I will wear a wedding dress.
    They will never accuse me of theft because of my obvious innocence.

  • @rickysavage9557
    @rickysavage9557 4 года назад +82

    As a green person I can say that we do commit alot of swamp crimes. However our economy runs on crime so I'm sorry about how we can't stop. Remember, ogres have layers but there is also layers of complexity in the swamp economy.

  • @BrickoBotface
    @BrickoBotface 4 года назад +259

    Imagine if he played as a female for April Fools.

    • @Sherlock-Eco
      @Sherlock-Eco 4 года назад +2

      Meanwhile actually they are pretty good, (not know about bannerlord but) Females are kinda a little bit behind male first but later on they are good as males does :p

    • @clumsycommissar5260
      @clumsycommissar5260 4 года назад +39

      “You know what I would do if I woke up as a woman? Go back to sleep!” -koifish

    • @gulox8241
      @gulox8241 4 года назад

      @@Sherlock-Eco Don't sh!t Sherlock

    • @derkylos
      @derkylos 4 года назад +1

      @@Sherlock-Eco You mean in Warband where you can just yoink some lord's castle and troops?

  • @anubisd613
    @anubisd613 4 года назад +73

    Koifish : the cure against Hobbos and depression keep the good work

  • @damjan4435
    @damjan4435 4 года назад +85

    10/10 capitalists didn't know what hit em

  • @behnamkeivan4633
    @behnamkeivan4633 4 года назад +45

    OH GOD ITS HAPPENDING AGIAN
    ITS BEEN 3 YEARS BUT HES BACK.

  • @TararaTera
    @TararaTera 4 года назад +8

    Im so incredibly happy to see this series again. Your jokes always work on me and I seriously think you are such a under appreciated content creator! Even when you switched from shorter meme edits of gameplay in Warband to videos with your own voice, I loved it. Can’t wait to see what else you got in store.

  • @andresaren9805
    @andresaren9805 4 года назад +11

    I was trying to find a video to fall asleep to. This had me laughing from beginning to end. Damn it! Thomas Hief, you stole my sleep!!!

  • @Voitan
    @Voitan 4 года назад +56

    Quoting Calradian FBI statistics! Tsk, tsk! Time to cancel your siege!

  • @OmniPeasant
    @OmniPeasant 4 года назад +31

    Because of T Hief Vlandia went to decadence and butter addiction increased by 69% according to the statistics.

  • @slein1055
    @slein1055 4 года назад +22

    "This plan cannot fail!"
    Famous last words

  • @miskapiska2188
    @miskapiska2188 4 года назад +6

    5 reasons koifish is best fish :
    1. Just look at it
    2. Have you looked at it?
    3. It is massive so not a tiny fish
    4. If you looked at it you don't need more reasons
    5. It isn't sponsored by raid shadow legends

  • @andrew-paulclements1502
    @andrew-paulclements1502 4 года назад +3

    Koifish truly does look like a viking I would follow on a raid

  • @hashbrowneggncheese4270
    @hashbrowneggncheese4270 4 года назад +29

    Criticizing the judicial system and racial inequality in Mountain Blade Bannerlord ~ Koifish 2020

  • @MGoogle3146
    @MGoogle3146 4 года назад +4

    I love your content Koifish, thanks for not being PC, really appreciate how down to earth you are.

  • @avatarofpapermagic
    @avatarofpapermagic 4 года назад +1

    How the fuck did I only just find your channel? Koifish is my spirit animal, thank fuck I found you now to binge watch your old episodes!

  • @dannydemarco6405
    @dannydemarco6405 4 года назад +3

    “You pick up society? Oh, look what’s underneath” for some reason I couldn’t stop laughing when he said that

  • @AlexTheThirth
    @AlexTheThirth 4 года назад +24

    Thank you, Koifish. very cool

  • @connorkelly1342
    @connorkelly1342 4 года назад +1

    “White is the colour of innocence” 🤣🤣

  • @FriendlyArchpriest
    @FriendlyArchpriest 4 года назад +10

    "CEO of Raiding"
    This cracked me up!

  • @CBRN-115
    @CBRN-115 4 года назад +5

    Take a shot everytime when he says "YEESUS"

  • @usecslayer8490
    @usecslayer8490 4 года назад +10

    That medieval coffin dance music tho xD

  • @aabe4327
    @aabe4327 4 года назад +2

    "Let's not talk about mr dickinson..." Oh my god.

  • @AnotherGuyProductions
    @AnotherGuyProductions 4 года назад +7

    After your joke I ended up actually getting a raid shadow legends ad...

  • @basilacis5661
    @basilacis5661 4 года назад +3

    I am new subscriber, but I really like so much your Koichannel, I started watching every video from the first one. Make more How To videos, like how to "That's a nice head you have on your shoulders" in Bannerlord!!!

    • @Koifish
      @Koifish  4 года назад +3

      Very glad to have you here, subscribed :D More How To videos will come eventually, but until then you should watch the other stuff as well >:D YEET!

  • @Edisito
    @Edisito 4 года назад +3

    Bloody raid shadow legends strikes again at the perfect moment... those ingenious bastards.

  • @varangianguard7102
    @varangianguard7102 4 года назад +6

    22:40 wait, did anyone else realize that's medieval coffin dance song?!

    • @varangianguard7102
      @varangianguard7102 4 года назад

      @Cinozzz I dunno if it's in the game, or Koifish put it in there for the memes

    • @varangianguard7102
      @varangianguard7102 4 года назад

      @Cinozzz oh yeah i guess that makes sence

    • @varangianguard7102
      @varangianguard7102 4 года назад

      @Cinozzz ok i just found it today it was in my recommendations here's the link to it ruclips.net/video/7E9CZQ3_iBQ/видео.html

    • @varangianguard7102
      @varangianguard7102 4 года назад

      @Cinozzz ok

  • @jjb33083
    @jjb33083 3 года назад

    This dude's personality is A1!

  • @johntheknight3062
    @johntheknight3062 4 года назад +5

    How to Become a Criminal Mastermind in Mount and Blade 2 Bannerlord?
    Go to every single lord and get all his towns and castles for free because that's apperantly what you can do in this game.

  • @rsns0808
    @rsns0808 4 года назад +5

    22:26 OMG Koffin dance of 11th century

  • @stormer9763
    @stormer9763 4 года назад +1

    I like the medieval astronomia around 23 minute

  • @bonjincowboy
    @bonjincowboy 4 года назад +7

    That coffin dance was the same one they played when the plague ravaged Europe

  • @PasOdMater
    @PasOdMater 4 года назад +1

    Damn it, man! Here I am innocently eating and watching the video when you come out with the Dickenson joke. Almost choked to death.

  • @almaz4858
    @almaz4858 4 года назад +1

    LIKE THIS SO KOIFISH SEES THE DAMN STURGIANS ARE RUSSIAND THEN THE NORDS CAME AND RAIDED

  • @jt2197
    @jt2197 4 года назад +1

    The tavern musician is actually playing music, it's your ears that are not designed to listen to those frequencies. (You have turned music off in settings)

  • @bellerophon5566
    @bellerophon5566 4 года назад +1

    Koifish man, you got ripped! I wish my chest was broad enough to fit that longship. It's because I talk too much I guess leaving less time for raiding.
    Oh it fits small people too! That's great

  • @fancyspruce9457
    @fancyspruce9457 4 года назад

    Koifish I own the game but I’m in he group of people who’s game crashes starting up, so battanianwatching your videos make me a little happier, could you continue your battanian play through. Thanks again

  • @JasperLane
    @JasperLane 3 года назад

    I had no idea I could do this, well I know what my next playthrough will be

  • @Fjutz
    @Fjutz 4 года назад +4

    Me seeing this video:
    "weri kool"

  • @Sulkie
    @Sulkie 4 года назад +4

    4:30
    A villain? *A* villain!?
    DO YOU MEAN *THE* VILLAIN!

  • @genericname7502
    @genericname7502 4 года назад +2

    I thought it said drunk in the title, and I was so excited

  • @thorstenwuschner5296
    @thorstenwuschner5296 4 года назад

    23.00 I noticed that the music is the coffin meme song just in medieval flute tunes. What can I say I like it

  • @blakeneubauer38
    @blakeneubauer38 4 года назад +1

    damn seeing this dudes face makes me like him even more

  • @itsswiggles4257
    @itsswiggles4257 4 года назад +1

    "I'll give you a örfil *SMACK*" lost it lmao

  • @joejoe5868
    @joejoe5868 4 года назад

    he did his jump at the end of vid. he did the thing

  • @mecc2445
    @mecc2445 4 года назад +1

    You recreated Von Kaiser from Punch-Out! Truly a criminal through and through.

  • @brucethompson2314
    @brucethompson2314 4 года назад +4

    I wish I had money to buy that shit lmao, my favorite RUclipsr your voice is so unique it's amazing

  • @kylecameron7430
    @kylecameron7430 3 года назад

    Suggested 1 Yr later. Love the content

  • @anthonyrivera4547
    @anthonyrivera4547 4 года назад

    Son when he started talking about the door banner
    I would be rolling if it wasn't 4am

  • @RedGreekWolf
    @RedGreekWolf 4 года назад +3

    As a ginger I can confirm that we have the most evil of hair colours

  • @CocoaMiner
    @CocoaMiner 4 года назад

    This is the best Bannerlord tutorial on youtube.

  • @thescud24
    @thescud24 4 года назад

    Thomas Hief is such a great name! I'm gonna have to steal that one for my dnd campaign.

  • @Chordus_Gaius
    @Chordus_Gaius 4 года назад +4

    9:44 Yoda Death Sound.

  • @ChibiBoxing
    @ChibiBoxing 4 года назад

    Im so glad you are doing good in youtube!

  • @mortennielsen4560
    @mortennielsen4560 4 года назад +1

    7:35 Underrated joke right there

  • @StrifeHUNPictures
    @StrifeHUNPictures 4 года назад +4

    VERY KOOL

  • @aaronmacwilliamhughes3229
    @aaronmacwilliamhughes3229 4 года назад +2

    7:48 is whenever you stand on a cats tail

  • @Nnoo1987
    @Nnoo1987 4 года назад +1

    omg this video was amazing!!! loved all the roleplay

  • @anthonyrivera4547
    @anthonyrivera4547 4 года назад

    Son....best commercial ever

  • @neathizar9743
    @neathizar9743 4 года назад

    I...was not expecting koifish to look like that, thought he'd look more like a very skinny version of iSorrow with blonde hair

  • @S2Tubes
    @S2Tubes 4 года назад

    Just time travel to a time when time travel isn't illegal. 4D thinking right there.

  • @Ake-TL
    @Ake-TL 4 года назад +1

    5:41 “I look like that guy from gangs of New York” who has also joined roundheads during English civil war

  • @Don-ds3dy
    @Don-ds3dy 4 года назад

    Excellent choice of music at the end.

  • @arjen6782
    @arjen6782 4 года назад

    Wonderful wonderful wonderful thanks koifish

  • @MrTradeTradeTrade
    @MrTradeTradeTrade 3 года назад

    In the beginning I thought this video is stupid, by the time of character customization I was laghing histericaly in tears.

  • @KAROTH_H_Snooglewimp
    @KAROTH_H_Snooglewimp 4 года назад

    Making heads roll, in war and in the tavern.

  • @papasadfather4192
    @papasadfather4192 4 года назад

    And it begins

  • @ulxsyxd
    @ulxsyxd 4 года назад +2

    I’ve always liked imagining what kind of a face a voice I’m so familiar with would have. You could call it a strange habit of mine but I’ve never been accurate with my guesses until now. You look genuine and goofy just as I thought and I know this is a weird comment but I just wanted to share that thx

  • @plaidpvcpipe3792
    @plaidpvcpipe3792 4 года назад

    THE GUIDES ARE BACK!

  • @ibenjohnsen5305
    @ibenjohnsen5305 3 года назад

    This guy is a legend

  • @Magnus689
    @Magnus689 3 года назад

    When you hear Koifish you automatically give thumbs up.

  • @Mnnadr62
    @Mnnadr62 4 года назад

    Koifish knows that they will lose
    Bannerlord:
    *MEDIEVAL COFFIN DANCES MUSIC MEMES*

  • @misticmaze
    @misticmaze 4 года назад

    Very good content. I'm so happy! Go Koifish!

  • @Volume_Halome
    @Volume_Halome 4 года назад

    "Raider is not a criminal, he's just a bastard!"

  • @peterconnaghan2872
    @peterconnaghan2872 4 года назад

    I feel like I just walked in on someone in the YMCA showers. I wasn't supposed to see koifish's face

  • @zefflin1451
    @zefflin1451 4 года назад

    Thank you, Koifish!

  • @byzantine2516
    @byzantine2516 4 года назад +4

    People who cut in line at the grocery store deserve the death sentence! Who is with me?!

  • @jrbrplay2311
    @jrbrplay2311 4 года назад

    bro
    I'm from Brazil and I don't understand 50% of what you say but man your videos are hilarious lazy town villain kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

  • @joselitoestrabela8144
    @joselitoestrabela8144 4 года назад +1

    Goddammit I heard medieval astronomia music

  • @tor8912
    @tor8912 4 года назад +5

    I have never heard a swede with a more pronounced scandinavian accent... anyway, good content 👍

  • @Maksymilian62
    @Maksymilian62 4 года назад

    Take a shot every time he says very cool.

  • @keithginn6529
    @keithginn6529 4 года назад

    That pygmy stallion joke was on point.

  • @deptusmechanikus7362
    @deptusmechanikus7362 3 года назад

    the existence of Aserai makes every other culture obsolete

  • @vantally6297
    @vantally6297 4 года назад

    Anyone else notice a medieval version of the coffin dancer song at 23:36

  • @VvDOPAMEANvV
    @VvDOPAMEANvV 4 года назад

    That's the best merch add ever.

  • @prudentiusinvader6652
    @prudentiusinvader6652 3 года назад +2

    I don't appreciate you breaking the law Koifish

  • @0ld_Scratch
    @0ld_Scratch 4 года назад

    I'm in the Empire-Buriness!

  • @LMvdB02
    @LMvdB02 4 года назад

    The jokes were so good in this

  • @gogashershnev1741
    @gogashershnev1741 4 года назад

    Playing Bannerlord is cool, but please don't forget about warband! We'll die without it!

  • @fabiomorandi3585
    @fabiomorandi3585 4 года назад

    Did anyone notice T Hief looks uncannily like Super Mario's evil twin?

  • @linked_soul
    @linked_soul 4 года назад +1

    How to get *e r e c t*
    Watch the any how to video from koifish

  • @Kyrkby
    @Kyrkby 4 года назад

    I miss Miss Koifish cooking porridge in the background.

  • @arabtheshake3820
    @arabtheshake3820 4 года назад

    The best story i've ever watched!