Story 2: the boys didn't step up and take care of the younger siblings for most of the vacation. You rewarded your daughter because she gave you and your wife some time alone and showed her little brother a good time. Did your son even notice or care? He got to do all kinds of fun stuff and hang out with his big sister, it sounds like he's still got the better end of all this.
My neighbor was French Canadian and his wife was Irish. They spoke to their 2 children in French, English and Irish (Gaelic?). Both children (age 5 and 3) spoke all three languages at their age level. The parents bought stories in all three languages and had specific days for each language....English on Saturday, French on Sunday... and so on. Keep teaching your child Polish.
Yeah, that child will need the language. This relationship probably won't last and Op might need to head back to her parents. Age-gap relationships rarely last at these young ages. The older person simply got stuck in the teenage mindset. While they might connect now, she will outgrow him and mature. From the nature of the post, this is already starting to happen. I hope she realizes this before she finds herself a parent to both her kid and her partner. I should know because I also made that mistake. Luckily I never had a child with the older person. He's already showing his immaturity now in attempting to deny a kid a second language during the point where kids absorb languages like sponges.
My mom was born in Denmark while my dad was born in the US. Mom wanted to teach all of us danish but my dad didn’t want that because he didn’t want to learn danish too. As I grew up we had family from Denmark visit every summer and couldn’t talk to them until they learned English. Dads family never wanted to do anything with us. Shortly before my dad passed away he said he wished we had learned danish and refusing to let us learn was a major mistake.
I’m from QC and learned English and French together when growing up. To the point that the languages are interchangeable for me. Learning more than one language is actually beneficial for a child’s development. I don’t understand why so many Americans are opposed to it.
@AuskaDezjArdamaath - I don't actually know any American who is opposed to their child learning a 2nd language. Many schools (used to.. don't know about now) require at least exposure to a 2nd language (usually Spanish or French). I'm older but in high school I took 3 years of Latin, and the limited classes they had in Japanese and Russian. I'd taken French in middle school. I was raised in farm country in the middle of nowhere...ultra conservative Bible Belt types. We do need to start younger...grade school... but I don't hear anyone objecting to it.
And the boys are old enough that not everything is equal and those who step up get rewarded while those who do nothing get less. Apparently the wife never got that lesson. She’s the only one complaining about the dress
Story 3: a twenty-four-year-old man knocked up been 18 year old and is now telling her that she shouldn't teach her sign her native language because he doesn't see the value in it. You may want to consider listening to your parents more, first of all it's always a plus to know more than one language, second he knows at some point you're going to want to take your child to see his grandparents in your home country right? He's your son to and if you want him to know your native language then he should.
I'm not Polish, but have visited Krakow, beautiful city, friendly people. We arrived at the hotel, the receptionist booked us in speaking good english. And we asked her for help, the Polish for please and thank you. And we used it. When I visit Spain, the first evening usually includes a quick revision of the Usbourne how to speak Spanish. Obviously not fluent, and most of our encounters end up in English but it is courteous to at least try their own language, sometimes with hilarious results. They explain what I actually said was not what I was trying to say. Other languages are always useful.
My pediatrician was angry at me, when he learned that we speak three languages at home, so our son will speak them too.. well now 21yrs later, he speaks four languages, that's English as well . Some people don't understand that kids are the best at learning languages at young age . Nvm the fact that a 24yr old got an 18yr old pregnant... that is messed up ...
I'm 5'11, 250lbs and work construction, my female cousin is 5'1, 140 and works in an office. We can both finish our own pizza party platter, except she doesn't have to work out to lose the calories
A friend of mine in high was 5’3 and maybe 100 lbs soaking wet, but she wasn’t anorexic. She could out eat anybody any day, she just had a crazy high metabolism.
Tell him that your children speaking multiple languages will help them do better in school, get into a better college/uni, get a better job & possibly earn extra money-- they can teach polish as a side gig. Plus, after you’ve learned a second language learning more languages is easier.
Story 1: I remember taking a philosophy class and one thing that was mentioned was the subtle influence of advertising. When advertising food, men are shown eating heartily, and women are shown taking small bites. This is because in the language of advertising voracious eating is a code for sexual appetite, ambitions, and overall a desire for more. Basically, by insinuating OP was making a show by how much she's eating, MIL is basically calling OP unfeminine and a slut.
2 different students, whose parents were friends of the same scholarship representative, who didn’t need that scholarship, both received that scholarship, while others weren’t given the option to even apply for it? This needs reported ASAP. Specifically to the news. That way it lessens the chance of being ignored or covered up.
I grew up in Québec and learned French and English simultaneously. While I normally speak and think in English, I can change over to speaking French immediately and I think in French within a couple of minutes. Being bilingual has been very useful to me and I'm rather proud of the fact that I am bilingual. My family was visiting my twin brother and, when we were at a museum, my brother and I discussed where we were going for dinner and how we were going to split the bill. We didn't want our wives involved in the conversation so we were talking in French. A woman came up and asked us how we liked America. My brother started speaking to her in a horrible French accent and with broken English: "We are enjoy you country ever so very much. It is most nice to be here and we are happy." After a minute or two his son, aged five, came up and asked: "Daddy, why are you talking in that funny way?" Fortunately the woman was not offended.
She had some pretty toxic views about what (and how much) women are supposed to eat. That goes back to some views that women should never eat until they’re satisfied, but always leave the table hungry. At least where I live, that’s pretty outdated thinking now, but it was pretty prevalent when I was young.
I'd like to argue a bit of both as there are some out there who do think the only thing we as women should order is a salad and maybe [MAYBE] a tiny piece of chicken or fish as only men should eat large slabs of beef in their eyes.[which I've always found very bizarre as grown ass women need protein too and the iron in an occasional steak is very beneficial] We as humans have different varieties of metabolism and food intake, MIL is absolutely wackers [and probably butthurt OP's hubby didn't marry some demure damsel :P] Personally for me it depends on the dish, if it's sushi I'll go absolutely ham [without overdoing it obvi]
@@lorilancaster5917 Then it turns out the person he says that to is speaking Navajo or another Native language, so they'd have more of a right to speak their language than him.
The Opie should absolutely keep teaching her kid Polish. I grew up in a Polish neighborhood and to this day still regret not learning the language, *the food,* and everything else about it. Now, best I can do is hit a (not-so-)local Polish store to buy the kielbasa, pierogi, etc.
Teach your kid polish! Don't let the kid grow up regretting not learning Polish like me! I regret not learning my grandparent's language when I was younger, and now I'm struggling to learn it!
Second story NTA you did the right thing your daughter had to watch after her younger brother which means she couldn’t do what she really wanted to but she did it without being rude about it she deserved a thank you
He said the daughter volunteered to watch him. The parents signed the younger son up for clubs on board to keep him occupied, but he didn't want to go and the daughter offered to take him with her a few times.
Scholarship Story: I'm Christian and agree with OP that accepting the scholarship was *not Christian.* Sounds like that rep makes a habit out of nepotism. I feel bad for the poor kids in his district. The "friend" and her family sound like the kind of people who perform acts of charity for the praise, *not* to do actual good.
The rep actively seeks out the kids of his rich friends just so he doesn't have to give the scholarships to less fortunate students, like he resents them for being low-income. He needs to be IMPEACHED for corruption
@@missingbobsburgers I think the friend got mad because a non-Christian told her about being a good Christian. She just needs to get another Christian friend to check her lol
Because where else could she go? The scholarship committee is biased and likely the heads to the university. On another note, I find it funny people calling an AH believing that the friend could’ve earned the scholarship forgot that’s she doesn’t need it.
Story 1: NTA. I lol-ed so hard when MIL said OP´s FIL and BIL won´t be able to finish that and that´s why she won´t be able to. I am a woman, petite for Western standard as I am an Asian, and I am a heavy eater. All my family members are. My mom can out eat any of us and she´s skinnier than many girls despite already having two kids. I´m toning down my eating now as I worked in an office and don´t have time to work out, but when I was younger (about 19 or 20), I often ordered the "extra big" portion. Once when I ate out with my aunt´s family, I ordered the super large ramen and even finished off my cousin´s because her portion was too big for her and later my cousin´s nanny told me that "the two young men in the table beside us were amazed that you ate so much. I saw them ordering the large ramen". We have a good laugh about that. Then, there was a time when I worked in a sushi restaurant and got a 50% employee discount, so I ordered myself a party plate, designed for 2-4 peoples, at the end of my shift, and polished them off in fifteen minutes.
So basically you hoover down food and don't even allow the food to hit your stomach. Eating a meal meant for 2-4 people in 15mins is not eating healthy and it would be interesting how much you would actually eat if you slowed down and allowed your stomach time to recognise it's full.
Regarding the additional language, I had a friend who was deaf and used ASL, her mother was more comfortable with Spanish and her husband was an English speaker. Their first child was using all three as a youngster. Want an orange, asked in all three.
Language story: I am over 80. My family history is Dutch. I never learned the Dutch language and have wished that I would have for many years, just because. There is no disadvantage to learning one or fifty other languages. Maybe your son will become a diplomat and serve in the American Embassy in Poland, you never know.
Story 1: tell your mother-in-law and no uncertain terms you didn't ask for her opinion. The only one that ruined this dinner was her trying to shame you for eating what she doesn't consider to be "proper women food". How dare she try to stick the bill on you like that, especially when she order more expensive food because you didn't starve yourself for her sake. Who cares if you ate more than everyone knows if I'm hungry I mean that lever much I want. Time for the fair warning, let your husband know he has the limited amount of time to stop this before you decide to handle this the not-so-nice way.
I heard a reply once and I use it any time someone gives unwanted input. “If I wanted to listen to an AH I would fart!” I bet the MIL would clutch her pearls
I mean I would be impressed as long as nothing was going to get wasted and OP was planning for that in the odd chance that she couldn't finish it. The op was doing active work all day and had not eaten since early that day so I would expect her to be hungry. MIL is being an idiot about food which is not something to be an idiot about.
If my mother did this to my wife I'd tell her to keep her fat mouth shut and any relative defending her would also be put in their place. Thankfully my mom is a decent human being.
Last story, the cult is probably the Quiverfull movement. I'm surprised they let OP have the personal freedom to become educated and self-sufficient enough to become independent, that or OP saw the writing on the wall and planned her escape. Their point of view is probably "If you're not going to do your duty to god by being a broodspawner, then you can at least make up for it by handing over everything you've earned to those who actually need it", and either they'll settle down their views with time or they'll pull something incredibly stupid and drastic (eg: stealing from OP, forced 'intervention', etc) to make OP go NC with them.
How is learning polish 'not useful' when he'll literally be able to use it to communicate with his mother and polish family members? People like this need to stop marrying outside their culture if they're so contemptuous of other languages. Also, it won't be unfair or exclusion from speaking polish if his son and wife know it. He can learn Polish at any time and include himself. He's choosing not to. And we all know why he chose to pursue a barely legal foreign wife. He knew she'd be easier to mold and abuse into the housewife he wants.
Last story: why is everyone but the brother that needs your help asking? Or are they trying to get you to give more so they don't have to? That's your money that you earned through hard work and dedication, you don't owe it to anyone just because you don't have any kids. Can't stand people with children always believing everyone else owes them for not having kids.
I live in area that has Christian branch (or sometimes looks like cult) where kids are everything. Kids are your ticket to heaven. Birth control is a sin. So families with +10 kids not an oddity (tho nowadays for "some reason" God only blesses them with 2-3 kids) It's know that people who don't hqve kids in that community gets shunned. Ofc there are more "liberal " people who don't or stay in touch with those who have left the cult.. but it's still known issue. Shunning. Going to hell if you don't have kids. My bro (unfortunately) married one of these and even when her family is on liberal side, she has horrible need to show off. She pretends to be religious for certain family members. They have just one kid because they started old (late 39/40) ..which also fits the scholarship stort. This group is also know for their greed. Money needs to show off and while plenty them are hard, honest entrepreneurs.. all the "known" scams regarding house renovations are them... Because nothing wrong to screw over "non believers"
Fortunately, for the controlling BF, "Daddy is a poop head" sounds the same in English and Polish. He'll know exactly what they think of him. (Sarcasm. I don't speak Polish.)
Learning many languages at a young age is a good thing. There is a young lady I know who speaks four languages. She has been speaking them for years and she is ten now. She is fluent in each language. She will be able to learn more languages easier as she gets older because she has an established foundation. Her life opportunities are way more open than someone who only speaks one language. Her younger siblings are also learning. So they can talk to each other and not loose what they have learned. It is much harder when you get older to learn.
Fast Metabolisms- My siblings and I had fast metabolisms as youngsters into our late 20's. Our blood sugar would drop way too low if we didn't eat something every 4 hours. My little 5'4" sister was nicknamed Emmet Smith [American Football player], because she was muscled up for gymnastics competitions. One night we all met at my grandmother's house, but she arrived just as we were sitting down to eat. She sat across from a relative that was 6'4" and 280 pounds muscled man who worked in construction. Those two ate the same amount of food, plate by plate, until dessert, and my sister had two helpings, where the man had only one. She was burning calories working out several hours a day throwing her body around; she was a tumbling and vaulting specialist.
Last story is one of the reasons why I won’t have kids unless I’m financially stable because the last thing I ever want to do is struggle and be homeless and drag my kids let alone family along with it.
And why should OP dip into her future family funds to pay for kids that the brother was guilted into having by her parents? This may be the time to go low contact.
The language story.. As someone whose grandparents spoke different languages (moms dad Spanish, dads mom Hungarian) I wish I taught both at a young age. I know some Spanish and can understand but still have issues.
Wife is jealous of her own daughter and will force parentification on her if op doesn’t keep an eye out. Ops a good person and parent. Keep her close OP
Story . 1st you are a great Dad that values your daughter and taught her that she’s someone to be valued. What she did was from the heart and not because she had to. You should be proud. Your wife on the other hand really needs a reality check and I’m sorry that she doesn’t see the value of her own daughter. What did the other children do to be rewarded? Did they step up? Even if it was a family holiday, there is always one in the group that shines better than the rest. You saw that and valued her, your wife didn’t.
That guy having a problem with Polish really needs to step aside and let that child have an advantage. My mother's first language was Czech, she understood and spoke a moderate amount of Polish. I would do anything right now to have had the opportunity to learn her languages. I did take Latin in middle and high school and another important language in college, but you can never speak too many.
Story 1: I presume MIL took it upon herself to speak for the possibly adult men . I would just flat out tell people to mind their own plates and stop worrying about mine. OP called her MIL out with a good retort.
S1: Gigantic NTA. My response to the busy-body drama-llama MiL: "I burn fat, I don't store it. More than I can say for some!" Seriously I would start blocking people. And never dine with MiL again, unless she gives a real apology. Also OP's dinner is making me hungry!
Story 1: Bullies want to ditch and cry when their targets ditch back, NTA, if MIL cares so much about what other peoples eats she is uncivilizated and cant enter to restaurants.
The lobster was the aperitif. The main course was probably a very expensive cut of meat and assorted side dishes, then there was the desert. I think OP and her husband should have insisted on separate bills.
Cruise story - daughter was so kind and considerate. I would reward her too. Mom is either one of those people who thinks women/daughters should just take care of her sibling. I just have the feeling that mom favors the boys more.
Family w kids NTA Loved ur comeback 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 🏆 🏆 🏆 🏆 🏆 🏆 🏆 I'd seriously ask the hard questions seriously mom & dad brother's why did u all pressure him into having kids he wasn't papered
OP is an Equestrian, an Athlete, that means fuel is needed. Never split check, always ask for separate checks at the start. It stops you getting taken advantage of, preempts arguments and lets you know who is truly your friend.
OP NTA. I would never go out to dinner with those inlaws again until mil and the others apologized. And if we had to go, there would be separate bills.
Story 1: OP is aware that she is not obligated to spend time with the in laws, right? Everyone is aware that you are not obligated to spend time with people that treat you poorly, right?
That’s true, but she probably does it for her husband. It’s not a good reason or a healthy one but it’s ultimately OP choice. Hopefully in the future she can distance herself away from the idiot MIL .
Language: Teach your kid Polish! It's such an American-born idea that one should only speak their native tongue; most of the world speaks two or more languages. Your boyfriend is talking out of jealousy, and nothing more. I don't care how 'useful' the language is (like, for communicating with your family, as an example), it's excellent for the development of your baby, long term. Ignore him, and keep on keeping on!
Not really just an American thing. My niece lives in Norway (she's American and her husband is Norwegian) he was resistant about her teaching English to her son even though he was going to learn it once he started school. She was venting to me about it and I suggested them having an English only night at home to help him along with being comfortable speaking a language his friends didn't speak. I've seen it both ways. My swedish friend married to an American her daughter spoke both languages but was embarrassed speaking Swedish to her mother when she was around English speakers all the time. I suggested the same to her. Implement a Swedish only evening so the daughter didn't lose her Swedish and it would also help her husband who was learning the language. But it's incredibly stupid to not encourage your children to learn their parents first language. It will only benefit them in the long run learning a language early on is easier and makes it easier to pick up other languages.
@@vincentlucario5450 I think so, too. I mean, they tell people to 'speak American' like that's a language, in a country that actually has NO official language. Sad.
Last Story: NTA!! IT'S YOUR DAMN MONEY!! It's not your fault that your brother couldn't say no to them and gave into peer pressure!! Hoarding your blessings?? Again!! IT'S YOUR DAMN MONEY! Tell them it's not every woman's dream to be a baby factory!! Your brother's wife can go to work if things are so bad!! Don't breed them if you can't feed them!
S3. A school friend was bilingual as her mum was French. It was her best subject at school. My old neighbour was Slovakian and spoke Slovak to her children from birth. Her parents only spoke Slovak and her partner only spoke English. When she had her third child, her mum came over to help and her older children acted as translators.
story 1: so the in-laws would rather have you starve to death after all the heavy work and just die so their son could marry another that is worthy in their eyes.....cut that shit off....and anyone defending this misogynistic parents...
I knew lots of Polish and Ukrainian kids growing up. They spoke English but they would all go to school on Saturday morning to learn their native tongues. I used to feel sorry for them having to go to school on a Saturday , but none of them minded because they would learn their native language.
Story 1: I noted OP said she works with horses. If by that she means exercising, grooming and performing stable chores for multiple horses during the course of a day, I can guarantee she burns 3,000 calories per day.
Look mother-in-lawdearest in the eye & with a deadpan face, count to three then say, “Bless your heart.” Silently hold her gaze for another three seconds then turn to the person next to you & ask how they like the weather. “Isn’t that precious.” Is also another good response. Only people who are from the southern US or who have southern relatives will know these are not as nice as they sound. Muahaha Even if they know what you really mean, you can’t be called out on it because it SOUNDS nice.
Story 1: MIL can keep her mouth shut, if FIL and BIL had problems that they can't eat like big boys they can at least speak up like big boys and use their own words to tell OP that. Seriously they're grown men if they have a problem let them bring it up.
When a child learns a second language which may also be music,from an early age,they tend to do well .a lot of non Americans do speak two or more languages.. put aside same money when you are able,so later you can take your son to Poland, it’s important to see where his family is from.
S1- i wonder what MIl would say about women who are in sports or triathlons or even female body builders/ physique competitors. Or gods forbid a woman whos pregnant. Thats the next one i bet my left tit
My wife is Polish and my two children are fluent in English and Polish, and do you know what I can also speak? A bit of Polish! Why? Because I had kids with a Polish woman who speaks Polish, and I fully expected those kids to learn Polish from the day I knew that they were conceived. Yes, Polish is an insanely difficult language to learn, I’ve spent the last decade plus listening, and not understanding to so many conversations, eventually taking classes, and just trying my best. It’s damn difficult, but it’s not that difficult, especially knowing that my children will speak the language. I in fact might have been an even stronger advocate for them learning Polish than my Polish wife. Even if I couldn’t speak any Polish at all, and never attempted to learn once, I would want my children to have more than one language anyway from the beginning. It’s so good for their mental development, or at least, it helps their brains develop so well. My children will also speak Spanish probably, and I’m hoping other languages as well, because the more languages they learn when their children the easier it is to pick up new languages as they grow. When I listen to my children, speaking Polish, perfectly with no effort, and then think of how much I have had to slog through learning his language. It just makes me even more impressed with them. I’m sorry to anyone who is too lazy to even try to learn another language, but if you’re going to have children with a person who is a native of that other language, you should probably expect that they will learn the language and you should either get comfortable with them. Speaking words, you don’t understand, or actually take some time to try and understand, at least some of those words. The guy said that Polish was a useless language, well, maybe to him, but in fact, his parents in law are Polish, so actually, it’s literally one of the most useful languages that he could learn. If the kid was Polish and the mom was trying to teach him Arabic or something then I’d say yeah that’s pretty useless. What’s the point of that? But that’s not the case here, this guy is just lazy and stupid. I’m not fluent by any means after 10 years, but oh my goodness 🤷♂️
1) omg, don't go out to dinner w/them any more. She started it, you finished it. FAFO. Though, husband should have told her to STFU. 2) Good big sister & good gift. Sis wasn't born to be live in babysitter. 3) dual language children are academically advanced. Dump the BF. Continue to swear @ him in Polish. 4) True, should have gone to a economically needy resident. Say it once & leave it alone. Anonymous letter to district head or letter to the editor. 5) stay away from your birth family. Be smart. Stop sharing info w/them. Family are hypocrites. Financial abuse. You made intelligent choices.
My older niece will hand out with my younger niece: they are 6 years apart. I always thank her for doing it as the age gap is hard. She does want to do things the younger one cant so i tokd her to just do them and let the younger one play with the younger kids. Shd id say she liked playing quieter games with her after all the tomes with the boys. She just want to be around another girl. Only girls out of 9 grands.
Story 3: Teaching toddlers and children under six multiple languages is invaluable. Under six years of age children's brains are like sponges soaking up huge amounts of information from their environment, effortlessly, continuously, and indiscriminately. Everything children experience from each of their senses (hearing, sight, smell, taste, touch) helps shape the fundamental framework of who they will become, thus it is enormously important. Not only does a toddler/child who learns multiple languages pre-age six learn the language itself but it opens the pathways within the brain to make further linguistics easier than navigate due to them absorbing the sounds, structures, intonation patterns and the rules of other languages far easier than someone who grew up learning only one language. So many studies have been performed on children of bi or polylingual families versus children who are raised only speaking one language, and it has shown that children who grow up speaking two or more languages have better critical thinking, show more self-control, a higher ability to focus on tasks (concentration), increased cognitive flexibility, higher literacy, and better pattern recognition. Not to mention the impacts of cultural understanding and awareness it has. Basically, there is no downside to children learning multiple languages. Once the child is of school age bilingual and biliterate children and teens have far more opportunities to participate in the global community in more ways, get information from more places, and learn more about people from other cultures. It sounds to me the only AH in this situation is the insecure boyfriend who expects his partner to abandon her families culture and language, and not teach the child they created together about that side of the child's family, all because this grown man is too lazy to try learning another language. He needs to get a grip and put his child's long-term future ahead of him feeling a little uncomfy about a language he has every opportunity to also learn.
Regarding story #1: I am wondering if the MIL (or one of her daughters) has a weight problem and she was jealous that her daughter-in-law could seemingly eat whatever she wants without gaining excessive weight. I say 'seemingly' because the OP mentioned that they had exerted themselves with a lot of physical activity that day, as well as not having had a chance to eat before going to dinner- if the MIL either wasn't really listening to what the OP said- or is generally in the habit of disregarding what the OP says, she might fixate on the size of the OP's entrée, while assuming the OP eating a fairly large dinner was not uncommon for her.
Nepotism story: NTA. Throw shade at her hypocrisy all you want, she needs to acknowledge it. I mean, it's good she volunteers and everything, but it's also true that someone far more deseving than her should actually get the scholarship. What really blows my mind is that there's actual no way to apply for it, and *that* is the real scummy thing about it. That in itself isn't Sarah's fault, but if she knows that, she still shouldn't have accepted and recommended someone else.
OP NTA. Your parents are polish, your polish and so is your son. Bf says polish isnt a useful language, um, you and his grandparents are polish and knowing now to speak to you guys is very important. Just because your bf doesn't like your parents and can't be bothered to learn, isn't a good reason to keep this language from your son.
Lol what? The men were uncomfortable by OP’s eating habits? Clearly she’s hanging around the wrong men, cause in my experience, being able to out-eat (and out-drink) men twice my size and still have room for dessert has always made me the coolest gal in the room. Being “ladylike” is boring and misogynistic, eat your steak and live your best life.
Story 1: NTA. She started the fight, you just had an excellent counter she couldn’t take.
And I bet MIL wanted to try and guilt OP to ordering something more dainty to keep the bill low to compensate for them ordering expensive items
My response: "I burn fat, I don't store it. More than I can say for some people."
@@DrownedInExile😂 Good response
Story 2: the boys didn't step up and take care of the younger siblings for most of the vacation. You rewarded your daughter because she gave you and your wife some time alone and showed her little brother a good time. Did your son even notice or care? He got to do all kinds of fun stuff and hang out with his big sister, it sounds like he's still got the better end of all this.
My neighbor was French Canadian and his wife was Irish. They spoke to their 2 children in French, English and Irish (Gaelic?). Both children (age 5 and 3) spoke all three languages at their age level. The parents bought stories in all three languages and had specific days for each language....English on Saturday, French on Sunday... and so on.
Keep teaching your child Polish.
Yeah, that child will need the language. This relationship probably won't last and Op might need to head back to her parents.
Age-gap relationships rarely last at these young ages. The older person simply got stuck in the teenage mindset. While they might connect now, she will outgrow him and mature. From the nature of the post, this is already starting to happen. I hope she realizes this before she finds herself a parent to both her kid and her partner. I should know because I also made that mistake. Luckily I never had a child with the older person.
He's already showing his immaturity now in attempting to deny a kid a second language during the point where kids absorb languages like sponges.
Aww that cute and cool !!!
My mom was born in Denmark while my dad was born in the US. Mom wanted to teach all of us danish but my dad didn’t want that because he didn’t want to learn danish too. As I grew up we had family from Denmark visit every summer and couldn’t talk to them until they learned English. Dads family never wanted to do anything with us. Shortly before my dad passed away he said he wished we had learned danish and refusing to let us learn was a major mistake.
I’m from QC and learned English and French together when growing up. To the point that the languages are interchangeable for me. Learning more than one language is actually beneficial for a child’s development. I don’t understand why so many Americans are opposed to it.
@AuskaDezjArdamaath - I don't actually know any American who is opposed to their child learning a 2nd language. Many schools (used to.. don't know about now) require at least exposure to a 2nd language (usually Spanish or French).
I'm older but in high school I took 3 years of Latin, and the limited classes they had in Japanese and Russian. I'd taken French in middle school. I was raised in farm country in the middle of nowhere...ultra conservative Bible Belt types.
We do need to start younger...grade school... but I don't hear anyone objecting to it.
Story 2: NTA. As far as I see it, that was payment for babysitting while on vacation. Because she is the Sister, not the third parent.
And the boys are old enough that not everything is equal and those who step up get rewarded while those who do nothing get less. Apparently the wife never got that lesson. She’s the only one complaining about the dress
story two showed more what a great dad he was being such a pity his wife could not see it
Story 3: a twenty-four-year-old man knocked up been 18 year old and is now telling her that she shouldn't teach her sign her native language because he doesn't see the value in it. You may want to consider listening to your parents more, first of all it's always a plus to know more than one language, second he knows at some point you're going to want to take your child to see his grandparents in your home country right? He's your son to and if you want him to know your native language then he should.
I'm not Polish, but have visited Krakow, beautiful city, friendly people. We arrived at the hotel, the receptionist booked us in speaking good english. And we asked her for help, the Polish for please and thank you. And we used it.
When I visit Spain, the first evening usually includes a quick revision of the Usbourne how to speak Spanish. Obviously not fluent, and most of our encounters end up in English but it is courteous to at least try their own language, sometimes with hilarious results. They explain what I actually said was not what I was trying to say. Other languages are always useful.
My pediatrician was angry at me, when he learned that we speak three languages at home, so our son will speak them too.. well now 21yrs later, he speaks four languages, that's English as well . Some people don't understand that kids are the best at learning languages at young age . Nvm the fact that a 24yr old got an 18yr old pregnant... that is messed up ...
Story 1: Just remembering how my model cousin can put away a whole pan of cornbread by herself. Girl has aways loved cornbread lol
Good on her and cornbread is awesome!
Cornbread is number one choice for the Colonial Marine Corps!
I'm 5'11, 250lbs and work construction, my female cousin is 5'1, 140 and works in an office. We can both finish our own pizza party platter, except she doesn't have to work out to lose the calories
A friend of mine in high was 5’3 and maybe 100 lbs soaking wet, but she wasn’t anorexic. She could out eat anybody any day, she just had a crazy high metabolism.
@@aduckofsomesort it’s more the fact that people couldn’t assumed she was bulimic because she would eat so much but not gain weight
Tell him that your children speaking multiple languages will help them do better in school, get into a better college/uni, get a better job & possibly earn extra money-- they can teach polish as a side gig. Plus, after you’ve learned a second language learning more languages is easier.
Story 1: I remember taking a philosophy class and one thing that was mentioned was the subtle influence of advertising. When advertising food, men are shown eating heartily, and women are shown taking small bites. This is because in the language of advertising voracious eating is a code for sexual appetite, ambitions, and overall a desire for more.
Basically, by insinuating OP was making a show by how much she's eating, MIL is basically calling OP unfeminine and a slut.
2 different students, whose parents were friends of the same scholarship representative, who didn’t need that scholarship, both received that scholarship, while others weren’t given the option to even apply for it?
This needs reported ASAP. Specifically to the news. That way it lessens the chance of being ignored or covered up.
Last story, op owes her family absolutely nothing. Bro chose to have kids, they're his responsibility, he made his bed, he can sleep in it.
I grew up in Québec and learned French and English simultaneously. While I normally speak and think in English, I can change over to speaking French immediately and I think in French within a couple of minutes. Being bilingual has been very useful to me and I'm rather proud of the fact that I am bilingual.
My family was visiting my twin brother and, when we were at a museum, my brother and I discussed where we were going for dinner and how we were going to split the bill. We didn't want our wives involved in the conversation so we were talking in French. A woman came up and asked us how we liked America. My brother started speaking to her in a horrible French accent and with broken English: "We are enjoy you country ever so very much. It is most nice to be here and we are happy." After a minute or two his son, aged five, came up and asked: "Daddy, why are you talking in that funny way?" Fortunately the woman was not offended.
LOL! Busted by his little boy!
Story 2: Offer to buy each of the boys an $80 dress. There, completely fair and even.
😂😂😂😂😂
This is the way.
The mother in law wasnt a misogynist. She was SIMPLY a HUGE toxic narcissist.
She had some pretty toxic views about what (and how much) women are supposed to eat. That goes back to some views that women should never eat until they’re satisfied, but always leave the table hungry. At least where I live, that’s pretty outdated thinking now, but it was pretty prevalent when I was young.
I'd like to argue a bit of both as there are some out there who do think the only thing we as women should order is a salad and maybe [MAYBE] a tiny piece of chicken or fish as only men should eat large slabs of beef in their eyes.[which I've always found very bizarre as grown ass women need protein too and the iron in an occasional steak is very beneficial] We as humans have different varieties of metabolism and food intake, MIL is absolutely wackers [and probably butthurt OP's hubby didn't marry some demure damsel :P] Personally for me it depends on the dish, if it's sushi I'll go absolutely ham [without overdoing it obvi]
And a B-WORD.
Both can be true at the same time. She was both in that moment
She can be both. They're not mutually exclusive.
OP2’s wife clearly falls into the ‘eldest daughter being parentified is normal and not worth rewarding’ category.
Story 3: NTA. “I can’t speak it” is not a valid reason not to teach your child.
If I were the mother, I'd take my kid on my lap and say in English: "Daddy is an idiot." and then the same in Polish.
He’s sounds like the kind of guy that would say, “This is Merica! We speak Merican!”
@@MagereHein Hell ya. Help him learn wether he likes it or not.
@@lorilancaster5917 Then it turns out the person he says that to is speaking Navajo or another Native language, so they'd have more of a right to speak their language than him.
Story 3: That relationship is going to get bad. Very bad. I hope OP keeps contact with her parents. She will need a lifeline at some point
The Opie should absolutely keep teaching her kid Polish. I grew up in a Polish neighborhood and to this day still regret not learning the language, *the food,* and everything else about it. Now, best I can do is hit a (not-so-)local Polish store to buy the kielbasa, pierogi, etc.
Plus, millions of people speak it in Central Europe and it's closely related to other languages including Serbo-Croatian, Russian and Ukrainian.
Teach your kid polish! Don't let the kid grow up regretting not learning Polish like me! I regret not learning my grandparent's language when I was younger, and now I'm struggling to learn it!
It sounds like OP should teach her bf the term, “bye loser!” In Polish
Second story NTA you did the right thing your daughter had to watch after her younger brother which means she couldn’t do what she really wanted to but she did it without being rude about it she deserved a thank you
He said the daughter volunteered to watch him. The parents signed the younger son up for clubs on board to keep him occupied, but he didn't want to go and the daughter offered to take him with her a few times.
Scholarship Story: I'm Christian and agree with OP that accepting the scholarship was *not Christian.* Sounds like that rep makes a habit out of nepotism. I feel bad for the poor kids in his district. The "friend" and her family sound like the kind of people who perform acts of charity for the praise, *not* to do actual good.
The rep actively seeks out the kids of his rich friends just so he doesn't have to give the scholarships to less fortunate students, like he resents them for being low-income. He needs to be IMPEACHED for corruption
Me too. Her friend is absolutely wrong
OP should absolutely tell the story of the Pharisee praying loudly so everyone can see how pious they were and what Jesus said about that.
@@missingbobsburgers *Absolutely.*
@@missingbobsburgers I think the friend got mad because a non-Christian told her about being a good Christian. She just needs to get another Christian friend to check her lol
Scholarship story : OP should tip the local news stations about what "might" be going on with the scholarship program. Sadly it's not something new 😒
That’s what I was thinking.
Depends on what party the owners of the news outlet supports. They'll have to pick one that supports the opposite party.
Because where else could she go? The scholarship committee is biased and likely the heads to the university.
On another note, I find it funny people calling an AH believing that the friend could’ve earned the scholarship forgot that’s she doesn’t need it.
@@lorilancaster5917Those YTA people are just as corrupt as the rep and his friends
Story 1: NTA. I lol-ed so hard when MIL said OP´s FIL and BIL won´t be able to finish that and that´s why she won´t be able to.
I am a woman, petite for Western standard as I am an Asian, and I am a heavy eater. All my family members are. My mom can out eat any of us and she´s skinnier than many girls despite already having two kids.
I´m toning down my eating now as I worked in an office and don´t have time to work out, but when I was younger (about 19 or 20), I often ordered the "extra big" portion. Once when I ate out with my aunt´s family, I ordered the super large ramen and even finished off my cousin´s because her portion was too big for her and later my cousin´s nanny told me that "the two young men in the table beside us were amazed that you ate so much. I saw them ordering the large ramen". We have a good laugh about that.
Then, there was a time when I worked in a sushi restaurant and got a 50% employee discount, so I ordered myself a party plate, designed for 2-4 peoples, at the end of my shift, and polished them off in fifteen minutes.
So basically you hoover down food and don't even allow the food to hit your stomach. Eating a meal meant for 2-4 people in 15mins is not eating healthy and it would be interesting how much you would actually eat if you slowed down and allowed your stomach time to recognise it's full.
Regarding the additional language, I had a friend who was deaf and used ASL, her mother was more comfortable with Spanish and her husband was an English speaker. Their first child was using all three as a youngster. Want an orange, asked in all three.
Language story: I am over 80. My family history is Dutch. I never learned the Dutch language and have wished that I would have for many years, just because. There is no disadvantage to learning one or fifty other languages. Maybe your son will become a diplomat and serve in the American Embassy in Poland, you never know.
Story 1: tell your mother-in-law and no uncertain terms you didn't ask for her opinion. The only one that ruined this dinner was her trying to shame you for eating what she doesn't consider to be "proper women food". How dare she try to stick the bill on you like that, especially when she order more expensive food because you didn't starve yourself for her sake. Who cares if you ate more than everyone knows if I'm hungry I mean that lever much I want. Time for the fair warning, let your husband know he has the limited amount of time to stop this before you decide to handle this the not-so-nice way.
You'd have one time to make a comment about what I was eating and how much I was eating.
I heard a reply once and I use it any time someone gives unwanted input. “If I wanted to listen to an AH I would fart!” I bet the MIL would clutch her pearls
@@cyndicook7755 Not even that. Try to shame me and you'll get what's coming to you. I have no problem firing a return salvo.
I mean I would be impressed as long as nothing was going to get wasted and OP was planning for that in the odd chance that she couldn't finish it. The op was doing active work all day and had not eaten since early that day so I would expect her to be hungry. MIL is being an idiot about food which is not something to be an idiot about.
If my mother did this to my wife I'd tell her to keep her fat mouth shut and any relative defending her would also be put in their place.
Thankfully my mom is a decent human being.
Last story, the cult is probably the Quiverfull movement. I'm surprised they let OP have the personal freedom to become educated and self-sufficient enough to become independent, that or OP saw the writing on the wall and planned her escape. Their point of view is probably "If you're not going to do your duty to god by being a broodspawner, then you can at least make up for it by handing over everything you've earned to those who actually need it", and either they'll settle down their views with time or they'll pull something incredibly stupid and drastic (eg: stealing from OP, forced 'intervention', etc) to make OP go NC with them.
Story 1: MIL is nuts. Time to go NC. With all of the in-laws who are taking her side, as well.
How is learning polish 'not useful' when he'll literally be able to use it to communicate with his mother and polish family members?
People like this need to stop marrying outside their culture if they're so contemptuous of other languages. Also, it won't be unfair or exclusion from speaking polish if his son and wife know it. He can learn Polish at any time and include himself. He's choosing not to.
And we all know why he chose to pursue a barely legal foreign wife. He knew she'd be easier to mold and abuse into the housewife he wants.
1) people need to stop policing what people eat. Last I checked we live in the year 2023 not 1823.
Last story: why is everyone but the brother that needs your help asking? Or are they trying to get you to give more so they don't have to? That's your money that you earned through hard work and dedication, you don't owe it to anyone just because you don't have any kids. Can't stand people with children always believing everyone else owes them for not having kids.
I live in area that has Christian branch (or sometimes looks like cult) where kids are everything. Kids are your ticket to heaven. Birth control is a sin. So families with +10 kids not an oddity (tho nowadays for "some reason" God only blesses them with 2-3 kids)
It's know that people who don't hqve kids in that community gets shunned. Ofc there are more "liberal " people who don't or stay in touch with those who have left the cult.. but it's still known issue. Shunning. Going to hell if you don't have kids.
My bro (unfortunately) married one of these and even when her family is on liberal side, she has horrible need to show off. She pretends to be religious for certain family members. They have just one kid because they started old (late 39/40)
..which also fits the scholarship stort. This group is also know for their greed. Money needs to show off and while plenty them are hard, honest entrepreneurs.. all the "known" scams regarding house renovations are them... Because nothing wrong to screw over "non believers"
The boyfriend in that one story is just salty he can't pronounce Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz
I would love to be able to talk in a different language you’re giving him a gift OP.
Fortunately, for the controlling BF, "Daddy is a poop head" sounds the same in English and Polish. He'll know exactly what they think of him. (Sarcasm. I don't speak Polish.)
had i seen op( or anyone for that matter) absolutely destroy a meal of that size I'd be thoroughly impressed.
Learning many languages at a young age is a good thing. There is a young lady I know who speaks four languages. She has been speaking them for years and she is ten now. She is fluent in each language. She will be able to learn more languages easier as she gets older because she has an established foundation. Her life opportunities are way more open than someone who only speaks one language. Her younger siblings are also learning. So they can talk to each other and not loose what they have learned. It is much harder when you get older to learn.
Fast Metabolisms- My siblings and I had fast metabolisms as youngsters into our late 20's. Our blood sugar would drop way too low if we didn't eat something every 4 hours. My little 5'4" sister was nicknamed Emmet Smith [American Football player], because she was muscled up for gymnastics competitions. One night we all met at my grandmother's house, but she arrived just as we were sitting down to eat. She sat across from a relative that was 6'4" and 280 pounds muscled man who worked in construction. Those two ate the same amount of food, plate by plate, until dessert, and my sister had two helpings, where the man had only one. She was burning calories working out several hours a day throwing her body around; she was a tumbling and vaulting specialist.
Last story is one of the reasons why I won’t have kids unless I’m financially stable because the last thing I ever want to do is struggle and be homeless and drag my kids let alone family along with it.
And why should OP dip into her future family funds to pay for kids that the brother was guilted into having by her parents? This may be the time to go low contact.
The language story.. As someone whose grandparents spoke different languages (moms dad Spanish, dads mom Hungarian) I wish I taught both at a young age. I know some Spanish and can understand but still have issues.
Wife is jealous of her own daughter and will force parentification on her if op doesn’t keep an eye out. Ops a good person and parent. Keep her close OP
Final Story: NTA. I’d be petty and donate to charity instead. They can’t call you selfish then.
I like tĥe idea of giving to Planned Parenthood. She should do it in her parents' name.
@@lyndatuttle Brilliant idea!
Crazy part is none of the other men care about how much OP eats.
Story of scholarship. OP is NTA
The first YTA must be one of those privileged brats who benefited from the corruption
Asks for separate bills! F**k, there is always those a-hole that will take advantage.
And we can tell the in-laws do. If the checks are separate to begin with why don’t OP and spouse pay theirs and in-laws pay theirs?
Yay, the Surfers Paradise clips are great, the Aquaduck was so good to see, I have a great town.
Story . 1st you are a great Dad that values your daughter and taught her that she’s someone to be valued. What she did was from the heart and not because she had to. You should be proud. Your wife on the other hand really needs a reality check and I’m sorry that she doesn’t see the value of her own daughter. What did the other children do to be rewarded? Did they step up? Even if it was a family holiday, there is always one in the group that shines better than the rest. You saw that and valued her, your wife didn’t.
That guy having a problem with Polish really needs to step aside and let that child have an advantage. My mother's first language was Czech, she understood and spoke a moderate amount of Polish. I would do anything right now to have had the opportunity to learn her languages. I did take Latin in middle and high school and another important language in college, but you can never speak too many.
The mother-in-law in the first story needs therapy.
No She just needs to be excluded from future invites and made to pay for her own food.
@@stephaniewilson3955 That too
Op is doing right. You teach them language from birth so they can be bilingual
Story 1: I presume MIL took it upon herself to speak for the possibly adult men . I would just flat out tell people to mind their own plates and stop worrying about mine. OP called her MIL out with a good retort.
S1: Gigantic NTA. My response to the busy-body drama-llama MiL: "I burn fat, I don't store it. More than I can say for some!" Seriously I would start blocking people. And never dine with MiL again, unless she gives a real apology. Also OP's dinner is making me hungry!
Story 1: Bullies want to ditch and cry when their targets ditch back, NTA, if MIL cares so much about what other peoples eats she is uncivilizated and cant enter to restaurants.
If my family made a comment about what my wife ate, they wouldn't be my family anymore.
OP3: BF's inferiority complexid his own pathetic problem.
Thanks for the video XOS. Cant take it, dont dish it.
Story 1 nta. What did the mil eat if that was even more expensive than a meal being meant for 2? Gold crusted lobster?
The lobster was the aperitif. The main course was probably a very expensive cut of meat and assorted side dishes, then there was the desert. I think OP and her husband should have insisted on separate bills.
Last story: OP is kinder than me. I would tell those leeches that I am not their ATM and go NC or maybe LC until they apologise.
He would be talking trash about them if he knew a language that they didnt. That's why he's so convinced that the reverse is true.
When a person works hard, they need the calories. Mil can bog off to Borneo.
Why should Borneo be stuck with her? Texas or Florida would be more appropriate.
Cruise story - daughter was so kind and considerate. I would reward her too. Mom is either one of those people who thinks women/daughters should just take care of her sibling. I just have the feeling that mom favors the boys more.
Family w kids
NTA
Loved ur comeback 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 🏆 🏆 🏆 🏆 🏆 🏆 🏆 I'd seriously ask the hard questions seriously mom & dad brother's why did u all pressure him into having kids he wasn't papered
OP is an Equestrian, an Athlete, that means fuel is needed. Never split check, always ask for separate checks at the start. It stops you getting taken advantage of, preempts arguments and lets you know who is truly your friend.
OP NTA. I would never go out to dinner with those inlaws again until mil and the others apologized. And if we had to go, there would be separate bills.
A child should always know their parent's mother language and if your partner has a problem with that maybe they're a bad partner.
Story 1: OP is aware that she is not obligated to spend time with the in laws, right? Everyone is aware that you are not obligated to spend time with people that treat you poorly, right?
That’s true, but she probably does it for her husband. It’s not a good reason or a healthy one but it’s ultimately OP choice. Hopefully in the future she can distance herself away from the idiot MIL .
Language: Teach your kid Polish! It's such an American-born idea that one should only speak their native tongue; most of the world speaks two or more languages. Your boyfriend is talking out of jealousy, and nothing more. I don't care how 'useful' the language is (like, for communicating with your family, as an example), it's excellent for the development of your baby, long term. Ignore him, and keep on keeping on!
Not really just an American thing.
My niece lives in Norway (she's American and her husband is Norwegian) he was resistant about her teaching English to her son even though he was going to learn it once he started school. She was venting to me about it and I suggested them having an English only night at home to help him along with being comfortable speaking a language his friends didn't speak.
I've seen it both ways.
My swedish friend married to an American her daughter spoke both languages but was embarrassed speaking Swedish to her mother when she was around English speakers all the time. I suggested the same to her.
Implement a Swedish only evening so the daughter didn't lose her Swedish and it would also help her husband who was learning the language.
But it's incredibly stupid to not encourage your children to learn their parents first language.
It will only benefit them in the long run learning a language early on is easier and makes it easier to pick up other languages.
I’m pretty sure it ain’t an American thing. Like 99.99999% sure.
@@vincentlucario5450 I think so, too. I mean, they tell people to 'speak American' like that's a language, in a country that actually has NO official language. Sad.
Story 1 - WTAF did I just hear??? This woman is demented.
First story: the Mother-in-law didn't care what OP ate she just wanted a free meal
Last Story: NTA!! IT'S YOUR DAMN MONEY!! It's not your fault that your brother couldn't say no to them and gave into peer pressure!! Hoarding your blessings?? Again!! IT'S YOUR DAMN MONEY! Tell them it's not every woman's dream to be a baby factory!! Your brother's wife can go to work if things are so bad!! Don't breed them if you can't feed them!
S3. A school friend was bilingual as her mum was French. It was her best subject at school. My old neighbour was Slovakian and spoke Slovak to her children from birth. Her parents only spoke Slovak and her partner only spoke English. When she had her third child, her mum came over to help and her older children acted as translators.
story 1: so the in-laws would rather have you starve to death after all the heavy work and just die so their son could marry another that is worthy in their eyes.....cut that shit off....and anyone defending this misogynistic parents...
Last story: Love the Simpsons reference (12:39)
That being said,OP is NTA. They shouldn't treat OP like an ATM and they're terrible
"Misogyny misogyny misogyny" so do we not just call people *ssholes anymore, and just default to misogyny for any excuse?
The first post reminds me of the story where all the wives in the family order salads at dinner and never eat dessert
I knew lots of Polish and Ukrainian kids growing up. They spoke English but they would all go to school on Saturday morning to learn their native tongues. I used to feel sorry for them having to go to school on a Saturday , but none of them minded because they would learn their native language.
We can't buy our daughter an $80 dollar dress, her brothers will be jealous. Nah, they probably don't want a dress.
Story#1. 😅😅😅I was like this up untill my 50s. Even my dad got on my case. My BMI was 18.
Story 1: I noted OP said she works with horses. If by that she means exercising, grooming and performing stable chores for multiple horses during the course of a day, I can guarantee she burns 3,000 calories per day.
Story #1: NTA!! Why didn't your husband say anything? I would have told her where to get off and then personally dropped her off there, AKA as HELL!!
Look mother-in-lawdearest in the eye & with a deadpan face, count to three then say, “Bless your heart.” Silently hold her gaze for another three seconds then turn to the person next to you & ask how they like the weather.
“Isn’t that precious.” Is also another good response.
Only people who are from the southern US or who have southern relatives will know these are not as nice as they sound. Muahaha
Even if they know what you really mean, you can’t be called out on it because it SOUNDS nice.
Story 1: MIL can keep her mouth shut, if FIL and BIL had problems that they can't eat like big boys they can at least speak up like big boys and use their own words to tell OP that. Seriously they're grown men if they have a problem let them bring it up.
Never have I seen such a bitter group of people gathered together as on Reddit.
When a child learns a second language which may also be music,from an early age,they tend to do well .a lot of non Americans do speak two or more languages.. put aside same money when you are able,so later you can take your son to Poland, it’s important to see where his family is from.
S1- i wonder what MIl would say about women who are in sports or triathlons or even female body builders/ physique competitors. Or gods forbid a woman whos pregnant. Thats the next one i bet my left tit
My wife is Polish and my two children are fluent in English and Polish, and do you know what I can also speak? A bit of Polish! Why? Because I had kids with a Polish woman who speaks Polish, and I fully expected those kids to learn Polish from the day I knew that they were conceived. Yes, Polish is an insanely difficult language to learn, I’ve spent the last decade plus listening, and not understanding to so many conversations, eventually taking classes, and just trying my best. It’s damn difficult, but it’s not that difficult, especially knowing that my children will speak the language. I in fact might have been an even stronger advocate for them learning Polish than my Polish wife. Even if I couldn’t speak any Polish at all, and never attempted to learn once, I would want my children to have more than one language anyway from the beginning. It’s so good for their mental development, or at least, it helps their brains develop so well. My children will also speak Spanish probably, and I’m hoping other languages as well, because the more languages they learn when their children the easier it is to pick up new languages as they grow. When I listen to my children, speaking Polish, perfectly with no effort, and then think of how much I have had to slog through learning his language. It just makes me even more impressed with them. I’m sorry to anyone who is too lazy to even try to learn another language, but if you’re going to have children with a person who is a native of that other language, you should probably expect that they will learn the language and you should either get comfortable with them. Speaking words, you don’t understand, or actually take some time to try and understand, at least some of those words. The guy said that Polish was a useless language, well, maybe to him, but in fact, his parents in law are Polish, so actually, it’s literally one of the most useful languages that he could learn. If the kid was Polish and the mom was trying to teach him Arabic or something then I’d say yeah that’s pretty useless. What’s the point of that? But that’s not the case here, this guy is just lazy and stupid. I’m not fluent by any means after 10 years, but oh my goodness 🤷♂️
That is straight up abuse, do not stop teaching yr child yr language.
MIL is just upset she can't eat like that without turning into a balloon.
Story 1 pay your own bill and leave.
Story 1: NTA and please call your mother in law a big fat grouch and tell her you cutting her out of your life. She doesn’t need you
1) omg, don't go out to dinner w/them any more. She started it, you finished it. FAFO. Though, husband should have told her to STFU. 2) Good big sister & good gift. Sis wasn't born to be live in babysitter. 3) dual language children are academically advanced. Dump the BF. Continue to swear @ him in Polish. 4) True, should have gone to a economically needy resident. Say it once & leave it alone. Anonymous letter to district head or letter to the editor. 5) stay away from your birth family. Be smart. Stop sharing info w/them. Family are hypocrites. Financial abuse. You made intelligent choices.
My older niece will hand out with my younger niece: they are 6 years apart. I always thank her for doing it as the age gap is hard. She does want to do things the younger one cant so i tokd her to just do them and let the younger one play with the younger kids. Shd id say she liked playing quieter games with her after all the tomes with the boys. She just want to be around another girl. Only girls out of 9 grands.
good old nepotism.
get used to it. that’s how the world works.
Story 1: Damn, I wish I could eat like OP. Sounds great to be able to try that much food when you eat out.
Story 3: Teaching toddlers and children under six multiple languages is invaluable. Under six years of age children's brains are like sponges soaking up huge amounts of information from their environment, effortlessly, continuously, and indiscriminately. Everything children experience from each of their senses (hearing, sight, smell, taste, touch) helps shape the fundamental framework of who they will become, thus it is enormously important. Not only does a toddler/child who learns multiple languages pre-age six learn the language itself but it opens the pathways within the brain to make further linguistics easier than navigate due to them absorbing the sounds, structures, intonation patterns and the rules of other languages far easier than someone who grew up learning only one language.
So many studies have been performed on children of bi or polylingual families versus children who are raised only speaking one language, and it has shown that children who grow up speaking two or more languages have better critical thinking, show more self-control, a higher ability to focus on tasks (concentration), increased cognitive flexibility, higher literacy, and better pattern recognition. Not to mention the impacts of cultural understanding and awareness it has. Basically, there is no downside to children learning multiple languages. Once the child is of school age bilingual and biliterate children and teens have far more opportunities to participate in the global community in more ways, get information from more places, and learn more about people from other cultures.
It sounds to me the only AH in this situation is the insecure boyfriend who expects his partner to abandon her families culture and language, and not teach the child they created together about that side of the child's family, all because this grown man is too lazy to try learning another language. He needs to get a grip and put his child's long-term future ahead of him feeling a little uncomfy about a language he has every opportunity to also learn.
Regarding story #1: I am wondering if the MIL (or one of her daughters) has a weight problem and she was jealous that her daughter-in-law could seemingly eat whatever she wants without gaining excessive weight. I say 'seemingly' because the OP mentioned that they had exerted themselves with a lot of physical activity that day, as well as not having had a chance to eat before going to dinner- if the MIL either wasn't really listening to what the OP said- or is generally in the habit of disregarding what the OP says, she might fixate on the size of the OP's entrée, while assuming the OP eating a fairly large dinner was not uncommon for her.
Nepotism story: NTA. Throw shade at her hypocrisy all you want, she needs to acknowledge it. I mean, it's good she volunteers and everything, but it's also true that someone far more deseving than her should actually get the scholarship. What really blows my mind is that there's actual no way to apply for it, and *that* is the real scummy thing about it. That in itself isn't Sarah's fault, but if she knows that, she still shouldn't have accepted and recommended someone else.
OP NTA. Your parents are polish, your polish and so is your son. Bf says polish isnt a useful language, um, you and his grandparents are polish and knowing now to speak to you guys is very important. Just because your bf doesn't like your parents and can't be bothered to learn, isn't a good reason to keep this language from your son.
bet no one but the MIL cared she ate a steak
When will people understand that skinny people eat the most.
Lol what? The men were uncomfortable by OP’s eating habits? Clearly she’s hanging around the wrong men, cause in my experience, being able to out-eat (and out-drink) men twice my size and still have room for dessert has always made me the coolest gal in the room. Being “ladylike” is boring and misogynistic, eat your steak and live your best life.