Hello you savages. Get access to every episode 10 hours before RUclips by subscribing for free on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw Here's the timestamps: 00:00 What We Get Wrong About Happiness 05:23 Current State of Modern Happiness 14:02 Why Faith is Crucial to Happiness 20:05 The Importance of Family & Friends 27:01 Finding Purpose in Your Work 35:43 How to Manage Your Desires 43:49 The Pleasure of Reliving Memories 51:38 Optimising for Satisfaction 1:01:48 Being Seduced By the 4 Idols 1:10:59 Why Meaning Impacts Happiness 1:23:16 Meaningful Parenting in a Comfortable World 1:26:37 Differences Between Happiness & Unhappiness 1:30:59 Why Anxiety Has Become Common 1:35:25 The Modern Evolution of Envy 1:41:25 Understand the Complex Human Experience 1:44:07 Where to Find Arthur
Anyone else feel like Chris is listening to their thoughts and just puts out episodes precisely when you need them? Looking forward to this episode, really enjoy some Arthur Brooks
I swear to you, I thought to myself ‘I feel directionless, I don’t know what my next step is gonna be for me (career wise; as I work for minimum wage atm and need to escape that). Then I go on my phone and this is the video I see at the top of my feed! 😮. I also genuinely just finished a clip from JRE featuring Howard bloom and he was explaining how ‘everything is connected’. So ….. yea 😶
I was having a conversation with my brother 5 minutes before this episode was released, about him having the ability to make small changes to have a high impact on improving his life.
26:00 "If it doesn't hurt your heart when you haven't spoken to your friend in a week, they're not a real friend" - I like the sentiment here, but I feel like you don't need to be in touch with your friends once a week to maintain a true friendship. We all have busy lives, and some of us go weeks or months without speaking, and then we can get together and hit it off like we saw each other yesterday.
This bit struck a nerve with me also. I'm in a similar boat with my friends as you are with yours and yet they're still the people I can turn to when I need them and they're still the people I'd like to spend a lot of time with. Sometimes life can get in the way (although, to be honest with ourselves, the only reason we don't have the time is because we don't make it a priority to have the time)
Yeah, I completely agree. I don't think I've ever had that pain with anyone except my wife, kids, and parents when I was a child. I've had curiosity about what they're up to. They're in my thoughts regularly, but, yeah, everything else you said.
I understand the realism of seeing people only occasionally, but the other side is, if you don't have someone who you can see almost regularly, your friendship has reached a point of distance where it's at an optional status. That realization is hurtful, and can create yearning for someone who is more present for you.
You bring up an important point about the nature of true friendships. While frequent communication can signify closeness, the real measure of a friendship often lies in the ability to reconnect effortlessly, regardless of time apart. Life's demands mean we can't always be in constant contact, but the strength of a friendship is evident when we can pick up right where we left off. This understanding acknowledges the depth and resilience of meaningful relationships, highlighting that true connection goes beyond regular communication.
Good and bad episode, which makes me sad and I have a lot to say: I always find it amazing how Arthur Brooks hits the very center of the bullseye of the topic that is closest to my heart. And he is so polished with the right words and definitions. I'm consistently amazed... BUT ultimately his insight isn't much of a life preserver if your life isn't already successful. Listening to Arthur is more like gaining an academic understanding of life & happiness, not an understanding of how to live. Out of "faith, family, friends, and work" I have faith, but making the other 3 healthier and thriving is the tragic odyssey of my life. I feel like I'm going to war every single day to get my life nutrients, but that day doesn't feel like it will come and I'm likely to starve. Understanding your 'idols' and 'crossing off political opinions from a list' just doesn't cut it, Arthur. The world is competitive, we're all competing for the same jobs and we all want real connection from each other. It's HARD. There's also less connection available to go around because we're also competing with technology for people's time and attention. I feel MW is difficult to listen to because I'm a struggling dude and every guru is so successful in life nutrients. Where's the guests where things didn't work out so perfectly in the end? Where's the guests where they actually know male (or female) relatives or coworkers that are lonely out of their minds with no obvious problem to point a finger at? I'm dead serious here. If you want to keep calling the show "Modern" wisdom then I think you need to have people who actually live in the modern world without being insulated from the unique features of it. People who don't themselves have as large of a cushion of life nutrients, or who have close relations to someone without that cushion.
I agree with all your points . The cushion of family and being loved properly by your parents I think is the biggest factor towards increased happiness ability. People who say “money doesn’t matter so much “- that’s ridiculous . They have never been truly poor. The comfort of money can help a great amount when you have no comfort from family .
@@Samantha-bq8bo The people who say that "money doesn't matter" are oftentimes people who did nothing else besides building wealth and when they reached that goal, it was empty and they felt just as lonely and shitty as they did before. There is an amount of money where, after you reach that amount, your life doesn't become better. You just get more things. If you have no money at all and can't pay rent and can't eat... well, that is the other side of the coin. Point being: Money is not the answer for EVERYTHING. Once you get comfortable with money, you'll know what they're on about.
This is the definition of "misery loves company". Also kind of sounds like you atribute all your problems to the eternal world and never yourself. I may be misinterpreting what you said and I don't know you, obviously, so please take this with a grain of salt.
@@Darko1.0 I'm interested in interviews that I can relate to and is applicable to me. The kind of content would speak to an important group of people in the modern world. I attribute my problems to myself. And so do other groups of people in the audience whose lives I don't relate as well to. What you said was off base. We're all trying to not feel lost and find our purpose. Don't try to squeeze me and the group I represent out of the conversation.
I feel the same. I have learnt a lot listening to these conversations but many times I feel totally disengaged, listening to people Who live in a different world than mine.
One minute into this video and it's already one of the most important, profound things you could hear, happiness is not a destination it's a direction 👍🏻
Arthur looks very healthy and energetic, especially if he's 60! Inspiring, and does make what he's saying seem more worth listening to - he walks the talk.
I enjoyed your aura and insights very much, Arthur. Thank you. I also appreciate that CW was excellent at delivering his questions. BUT.. When people say, “You are perfect,” they mean that you are wonderful just as you are in this moment. It does not necessarily imply that there is no room for personal growth or improvement. Rather, it is a metaphor suggesting that you can find contentment and happiness within yourself, regardless of where you are or who you are at any given time.
I hope one day we can all realise that the nature of our mind, pure consciousness, is happiness itself. And that we need to do nothing in order to experience it. It’s not a feeling or an emotion. It’s the lack of resistance to life. Any step we take towards it is a step in the wrong direction. It is in our last attempt to escape the moment that we realise happiness is already what we are. Have a great day guys.
I agree with mostly everything. But many times people don't come from a good family and for them it's very hard to understand how a family environment is important. It is my case, and it's a big turn you have to make on your head to start believing that family is a good thing after you spend 20+ years in a bad family environment. The nurture part is very defining on those aspects and it's a chain effect. If we have good families it's more likely that in the future the next generation would like to keep it that way. But it's not what I see happening, the future looks grim in this aspect.
I enjoyed it too, although I think I will pass on the suggestion of taking a 2.30am walk alone without my phone. 😂 But definitely some good take aways on the whole.
Your perspective on family is both insightful and deeply personal. For those who haven't experienced a positive family environment, understanding and valuing familial bonds can be a significant mental shift. The cycle of dysfunction can indeed seem hard to break, but recognizing this challenge is the first step towards change. Creating a better future for the next generation starts with redefining our own understanding and experience of family. Your story emphasizes the importance of breaking these cycles and striving for healthier relationships, even when it seems difficult.
None of that matters, the reality of things is that you are the person in control, create your family and put the effort into making the change in your generation, otherwise, nothing anyone else does matters
Wonderful conversation. I was really hit by the topic of letting your kids see you doing hard things, and having it be okay to fail. I find that I'm a perfectionist, and I often don't let myself get outside of my comfort zone, therefore I'm not risking failure. But I realize that's not what I want my daughters to learn, I want them to dare to do the hard stuff. So I'm going to show them what that looks like. Thanks Chris, as always, really enjoy what you're doing.
Hey Chris just started listening to your podcasts loving your work. getting a lot from them. But this one with Arthur Brooks just blew me away his energy enthusiasm I just couldn’t get enough. Thank you both
My two points in my life where I was experiencing depression was when I'd invested and sacrificed a lot to be very good at something I was very passionate about and nobody was hiring me to do it.
I’m 62 and I’m happy. I have learned to question my thoughts and I’ve realized that those stressful thoughts just aren’t real. I follow Arthur Brooks, have read his book and taken his online courses but he’s still working towards it.
This about happiness reminds me of a podcast with David and Huberman. When its mention that in life need to have friction to be better and happy overall.
I didn't know the guest and I wasn't sure if I was going to watch, so I just clicked, and I heard the first line from him... dang. now I'm going to have to watch the whole thing. Thank you for your incredible content as always Chris 🙏
My childhood: 'you are more exceptional than your peers, the world is scary so we will do everything for you, when you go against the grain we will plant doubt under the guise of being concerned, we don't talk about emotions'
Great video ! Love hearing Authors insights and enjoy the great questions you ask. This has to be one of the best RUclips channels on this app! Keep up the great work Chris!
Hi Chris! Fantastic episode. Arthur Brooks articulate stating of eternal truths is a balm for the soul. If you'd like to sample his daily regimen of spiritual nourishment, take in a Catholic mass. The trick is to find one done properly and reverently by a priest that genuinely loves what he does (not always true, sadly) Fortunately it looks like you have quite a few options. A friend from Austin recommends St. Mary Cathedral downtown w/ Father Daniel Liu, St. John Neumann in Westlake w/ Father Dean Wilhelm, or St. Vincent de Paul w/ Fr. Tom Reitmeyer. Go and sit in the back and take it all in. Just watch. Much of it won't make sense at first, but that's okay. No one's going to bug you or ask why you're there.
What I got from this episode is that Happiness is not a thing; it is an overall direction in your life. Your overall happiness is about your connections with other human beings. It is about the quality of your connections with other human beings. Working hard, working long hours, accumulating wealth, and so on are not going to make you happy. Pleasure is not happiness!
I liked the bit about distilling our personal meaning to its purest form- and questioning what is worth dying for? That was quite useful. Arthur does seem to push his beliefs on Chris, particularly with marriage and faith/spirituality. Sure, the research might say some good stuff about it, but its your adherance to the credibily of the research that makes it a self-furfilling prophecy for you. Lets keep it clear here: the value in relationships is connection, and the value of faith/spiritual beliefs is in transcendence. It seems Arthur has found himself in the position of directing people how to improve their lives and this extends to how he directs Chris. He is obviously very self aware-and states and overattachment to his own beliefs. 😊 Some great things to think about from this episode.
Arthur probably believes and has accepted catholism because it’s his wife’s belief and that is Intertwined with family which is a beautiful and feels so good when you know there is always someone there to catch you. That’s what a religious community can give you. Boundaries and love and everyone following the same rules of loving kindness feels so good. So he has accepted those rules and it works for him. His needs are met and he is happy and supported and loved. Connect to source in the way that feels right for you. Hopefully community and connection if you meet the right partner will come and it could be beautiful too for all. Like he’s says stop chasing the useless crap that will never fulfill your souls and heart. Love is the answer. I’m not catholic, I’m just connected to source, my husband is Muslim tough and I see how lovely that community is. But I don’t full believe in all of it so I cannot submit to it. Since lots of religions have a tendency to reject gay people, I don’t like that. Love is love! ❤️
Incredible talk! Im only half way through & got 4 pages of notes! cholk-full of practical advice. Thank you Chris for inviting Arthur Brooks. Keep doing your great work!
"If you get married and have kids you WILL be happier. I have the data." What he misses here is that it's not really anti-marriage rhetoric or philosophy that's stopping people from having kids, it's something way deeper. Most guys hypothetically want to have a wife and kids, but solitary life is becoming way too comfortable with all the technology we have now. Both men and women's standards are going up, on top of hypergamy and the lack of social pressure to settle down. We all know the usual incel spiel, but what all of this ultimately means is that even if a dude is able to start attracting women, there's little incentive NOT to just run through them. I'm seeing early 20's girls saying they HAVE to date guys in their late 30's or older to find someone who's even remotely interested in settling down. I feel like that wasn't around 10 years ago. And if you're a woman over say 32, what guy given the choice would risk a geriatric pregnancy? It's really sad and messed up and I think it will be the downfall of our species. I wonder if creatures like us have evolved before on Earth, but after a few millennia they just download themselves into quantum foam or something and they vanish from the fossil record.
Marriage and kids are definitely NOT for everyone. Indeed, as you said, going single is becoming quite viable as a strategy (or at least not getting married/having kids), as it lets you save up money much more easily, and have a chance to secure a decent retirement. Otherwise, just the freedom to live as you please is quite attractive, as is the peace of mind that solitude offers. With multiplayer games about, and things like Discord, it's easier than ever to enjoy a "night with friends" from the comfort of your own home. And, for anyone not inherently attractive/charming, dating can be tough work, and often not really worth the hassle.
@@TheFuzzicianexactly what he said. You have to actively go against the animal brain, in order to achieve happiness. All of the things you said about going the easy route is what is keeping everyone so unhappy.
I know 32 is considered geriatric, but I think as long as they are healthy, they do just fine. my mom had me at 37, and my older sister had kids at 37 and 39, both healthy... it is true that health issues are more and more common though. the point of his 3 questions was to really narrow in on what you're here for presently. I doubt many would say, eh I just wanna play video games and watch porn... or would they? I don't know I'm out of touch with the younger generations to some extent. many of the new kids at my company start talking immediately about gender... and I feel like that's not that important. Well the egyptians were certainly advanced... now they are foam... I like it.
@@JSiracusan unfortunately statistics would prove otherwise. The rate of problems with pregnancy go up significantly. Not to mention problems with the mother, but malformations with the children as well.
I know what the stats say. However, living life in accordance with stats is severely limiting. Why would anyone get married? Given 50/50 outcome?. And there are things you can do to limit risk in marriage... no guarantees... and things you can do to limit risk in having children. And physical health of the parents is a huge one. Hopefully you see what I'm saying... generally yes, specifically, not necessarily.@frontierlandfrank5314 @@frontierlandfrank5314
This guy is so specific to his own experience with his prescriptions. “Listen to Bach” - later explains he was in a choir. “Speak to your friend(s) semi weekly or they aren’t your friend(s)” - then explains that’s how his friends interact. Kinda loses a bit of credit with the specific anecdotal absolutes.
Decide today: I will become who I came here to be. Nothing and no one will stop me. I will not stop me. Take yourself in hand. Grow out of dysfunction. You will feel better every day. One day you will stop and think "Wow. I haven't been miserable in .... wow." If you place Yourself as your priority, you will outgrow misery and thus lift up and brighten the corner where you live. Our one job ❤❤❤
I love Arthur Brooks’ work in popularizing the fluid vs. crystal intelligence as it relates to finding purpose later in life. I’m only in my 30s, so it’s a great perspective to explore given that so many of my relatives and mentors are actively figuring out mid-life
There are three macro trends that have brought us here. 1. The long march of the 1960s Boomer “counter culture”. 2. Globalization. 3. Tech. Silicon Valley is the nexus where all three meet. Anyone who is not actively fighting to roll back the first two and approach the third with the question “what’s best for humans?” is not worth listening to, and is usually obfuscating and gaslighting. Globalization has been an utter disaster for Western economies, which have been limping on life support since 2008 with low growth due to massive trade deficits and open borders, while the cultural revolution has destroyed the fabric of society that used to provide support in difficult times. Tech is neither good nor bad inherently, but those in positions of responsibility have been flailing to adjust to it, when they’re not trying to harness it for Orwellian oppression. But no, kids aren’t depressed because of social media. They’re depressed because they have no economic future, and their minds and relationships have been destroyed by cultural insanity. Social media, drugs, games, ‘corn’ and so on are what people fall into when they have nothing else.
Your analysis of these macro trends and their impact on society is thought-provoking. The convergence of counterculture, globalization, and technology indeed shapes our modern world in profound ways. While each of these trends has potential benefits, their combined effect can also exacerbate economic and social challenges. Your call to critically evaluate and address these issues with a human-centric approach is crucial. It’s important to foster a balanced perspective that recognizes the complexities and strives for solutions that enhance human well-being amidst these ongoing transformations.
I think locus of control has an impact on happiness as well. Which in a way reenforces his thesis. If an ego can accept being small in big universe, and be comfortable with it, happiness in the moment will follow.
What if your family hurts you and you’ve tried many times to make it work . But your parents are in the age group of judgement and sometimes coldness . It is a huge loss towards happiness not having family. But you have to leave the situation to stop being set back emotionally. The other note is .. if you’ve lived in poverty success would give you comfort and calmness . It’s just balance . When you’ve struggled forever you don’t really need the struggle to keep going ..the fear keeps you going lol
The key aspect that professors like his always fail to address is "the emptiness" or "the void". People may interpret this experience as "unhappiness", but it's truly so much more than that. Most of the time, academics approach life from an "absurdism" perspective (a philosophy based on the belief that the universe is irrational and meaningless and that the search for order brings the individual into conflict with the universe), thus don't make it make sense. Just struggle. Just do stuff. As Albert Camus says, "The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy." So the solutions proffered are just about "the struggle" (e.g. FINDING purpose in an ultimately meaningless existence), but they fail to recognize the futility of the struggle with no viable end goal (e.g. how exactly does one fill the emptiness). The questioin of "What is the meaning of life?" is something I've been pondering since age 8, and I've certainly learned a great many things from those ponderings. But the most glaring aspect is how frequently "professioinals" and "academics" dodge the simple question of the void...even though they themselves most likely experience it. Just like everyone else.
I'm asking out of curiosity because I'd like to know more about this. Would an answer like "there is no set/universal meaning of life, everyone needs to define it for themselves and your job is to find what it is for you" be satisfactory and if not, why not?
@@iiNspirex Definitely a valid question and one that's been asked/stated throughout history. Let's discuss the two primary points. ** 1) There's no meaning in life. I once heard a line on an old TV series that said, "We live only because we fear to die." If life has no meaning, then to what end should people struggle? Aside from merely preserving their existence. And why should people be "good"? Or civil? Or follow rules, laws, etc.? Or even subscribe to any set of ethics, except for a utilitarian purpose (i.e. manipulation to get what one wants)? In essence, why should Sisyphus continue rolling the stone up the hill--only to have it drop again--if all is futility? Why should one continually torture themselves for the sole purpose of merely "passing the time."? And why stop people from committing suicide and encouraging them to live...if ultimately their living is futile torture? Thus is the conundrum of life having no meaning, because then life really has no value aside from "passing the time". ** 2) Everyone needs to define for themselves what their meaning is. This is pretty much relativism (i.e. one's meaning is relative to their own pscyhe and whims). Thus, if one decides that their meaning in life is to take over the world, kill a bunch of people, etc., can others make the argument that such a decision is "bad"? Not really, though it doesn't stop others from making a reverse decision to resist. However, no matter how many deaths arise from the conflicts of contrasting "meaning making", it's all still futility. Whether people die, suffer, live, etc., it's all rather pointless. Because life has no meaning, and one's decision to ascribe meaning to one's life is just a different way of "passing the time". If people choose to pass the time in a constructive way, then great. If people choose to pass the time in a destructive way, that's fine too. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. All the sacrifice, suffering, patience, etc. that people are told are virtuous...doesn't matter. One's "meaning for THEIR life"--no matter what it is--is just as good as the next "meaning for life". Thus is the conundrum of relativism. Can humanity exist within these two modalities? Or even accept them? Deep down inside, the majority of humanity rejects them...for reasons they don't know. Except for the single fact that humanity feels they're wrong...hence why they continue to search and struggle.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 amplified "He has made everything beautiful and appropriate in its time. He has also planted eternity [a sense of divine purpose] in the human heart [a mysterious longing which nothing under the sun can satisfy, except God]-yet man cannot find out (comprehend, grasp) what God has done (His overall plan) from the beginning to the end."
He brought up Nietzsche and said most people follow him. Then he just said don't follow him. He glazed over him. It's because no one can actually counter Nietzsche without going into extremes to counter the apathy. I think it sucked that he acknowledged Nietzsche ideas as the leading contender in modern life, but like many other people doesn't provide an actual satisfying modern answer to this. That's because no one really counter it or requires some deep understanding of the modern world right now. Not history. That's my 2 cents.
Hmm Thomas Aquinas reference. Chris you can find some commonalities with Bishop Barron on the topic of values. He can also discuss the youth and latin mass culture
Macro nutrients of Happiness: Enjoyment Satisfaction Meaning Even we are successful financially and materially if what we do has no meaning and helpful to people some won't be truly happy I think. I like the term what is your IKIGAI? This content is very helpful/useful 👍.
No, I think striving for meaning creates more anxiety than it resolves. This is a immense world with "everything, everywhere, all at once". It's impossible to comprehend its (or your) meaning, unless you want to claim omniscience.
the question is when Chris's future wife asks him to be home more what does he do? Say no, and she's in her place, but may ditch you for it, say yes and you've lost your mission and she may ditch you for it. That's a tough one and it's not just that.. it's like parental leave and much more to navigate. One thing I've heard on multiple podcasts lately is that, oh yeah , people in the past didn't have that problem, therefore they must've been happy. one example was that widows in the past were happy after their men died, to counter the point of the man saying that women hit the wall and want a man. In this case, that older men didn't have envy before phones and must've been happy in their bubble... I think that is very much speculative and probably just a half truth if that. The older people in my life were not any happier, both men and women. They were just who they were with their own struggles sometimes happy and sometimes not. Does being enlightened mean happy? or just being lighter? This was a great podcast though. I may re-listen because I didn't take notes. I don't think they touched on the marketing of happiness, which became a cultural phenomenon... Like that if you're not happy, then you should be chasing it, or that there's something wrong with you if you're not happy (take a med or something).
The definition of working class and middle class differs between the US and the UK and it's funny to see that in the convo without the parties being aware of it.
@@wkb9211 You know, I’d have no problem paying if not for their political censorship problem. Perhaps, after the election if they are even handed. Not looking good so far, unfortunately.
Do I see the Running of the Bulls / Pamplona and Don Quixote in his office? My Dad ran with bulls in 1969. And taught Don Quixote to his 4th year Spanish students at Incline High School. Nostalgic.
People need to stop listening to some well established, everything in order academic and need to look within themselves. Academia tells you about the "average person". There is no average person. It's a statistical thing. "When you look at the data" doesn't mean shit FOR YOU SPECIFICALLY. It can tell you something about OTHERS and what THEY have in COMMON, but that average statistical thing doesn't apply to everybody, does it? Everybody is an outlier in some way and average in some other way. Stop consuming social media (that means this shit, too), stop watchnig TV, stop gaming, stop overworking yourself for AN HOUR and just go outside and DON'T even TRY to do ANYTHING at all. Just fucking walk. Disconnect from the outside, reconnect to the inside (you don't have to do that actively btw...it just happens once you allow yourself to be with yourself without distraction.) When you ask most people: "What is scarier? Spending a day with a person you hate, or spending an hour in silence looking at a wall?" most will answer "the wall." But that is exactly what the fuck they need. How can you expect to ever be content (not talking about happiness here) if you're running away from yourself?? Everything is just "run run run gotta get the bag" even though they can live comfortably (not starving, can pay rent, are safe). Instead the conclusions are "if I have X amount of money, THEN I can live life and then I'll be happy.", "When I reach X amount of years in age, then I am able to live life.", "Gotta get that promotion to go to that expensive place for a vacation, THAT'S what I need.". Nah. What you need is values and a good life philosophy, which you now actually have to work towards, which means THINKING / WRITING about it and asking YOURSELF tough questions you probably know the answer to already, but are actively lying to yourself and avoiding the answers to. Why? Because you know you'll have to change things and it's going to be uncomfortable first, before it gets comfortable again (think drug addiction: Why are some people able to just walk away from smoking cigarettes after 25 years of use from one day to the next? Even though it's one of the hardest habits to quit, some people have a realization and just walk away. Some struggle and relapse, but eventually quit. It's not about the substance, is what I am trying to say: It's about your inner workings. That's why you're turning to drugs in the first place). We all know this to be true within ourselves, if you've spent ANY amount of observing your inner turmoil once you encounter such a hard truth. "I should break up with this person, but I really like the sex" is a good example of your hedonistic side winning over your morals and the innate knowledge of what the right thing to do is. Again: The right thing to do oftentimes is uncomfortable but very much worth it. The easiest thing is not the thing you need to do... Do the hard things, which doesn't mean WORK EVEN MORE. You know exactly what's right and wrong. If you don't....disconnect and go for walks. You need to listen to the thing inside of you that is telling you exactly what YOU - NEED - to do. Trust it (have faith). Not in some god / religious way (but if you are religious, you're gonna have a way easier time with this), but in YOURSELF. There is no losing. It's all winning and learning. No step back. It's ALL forward. Doesn't matter that you lost the job, if your character and integrity is intact. You will find work / purpose that suits YOU, not you forming yourself to suit some work! It's gonna be tough, but that is part of the course. In the "end" it's all worth it. Life is only hard, when you firstly: don't know who you are, what you want and what the direction you're going in life should be (all of those things are just lying inside of you, waiting to be HEARD, but you're unable to hear them, because you're busy jerking off, doing drugs, playing video games while listening to podcasts in hopes that you'll hear something that makes you change your life) Secondly: you're so poor that you're starving. How many people in the western world are really THAT poor. People in the comments listening to Modern "Wisdom", having access to the internet which they're probably accessing from a mobile phone which has been built on the backs of slaves (african cobalt mines / chinese workers that regularily try to kill themselves so much so, they installed nets around the buildings so they can't - research it) and commenting on how poor they are, need to rethink what poverty means. You don't have to make 100k/yr to not starve, or to attract a partner, either! Be somebody that is comfortable in their own skin, have a goal (which you can only find if you listen to yourself) and work towards it. That is everything you need to do to be "happy" in the end. Before I forget to mention it: You have to be honest. With others ofc, but honest with yourself most of all. Truly 100% ruthless honesty. What do I mean? Maybe you're unhappy with your marriage and you have kids with the other person, whom you most certainly love. Still, you're unhappy. You know you have to talk about it, but you're afraid of what the other person might say or do, you're afraid you're maybe gonna lose your children and everything you own in the divorce, if the worst case were to happen and so you "accept fate" and live unhappily for another 5-10 years....then you really fucked up. Now the worst case actually IS happening and you lost the chance to do anything about it when the time was right (when you noticed that something ain't right). If you had been honest with yourself, honest with your partner and genuine in your approach and talked about it, things might've turned out differently. They might've turned out the same, but you wouldn't have lost 5-10 years of your life being miserable, too. Your fear of conflict / of hard decisions / of a hard life made you choose the easy way, but that made everythinig so much harder in the long run, that in comparison the hard life WAS the easy life. In the end, what's better? Saying something, being aware that you're unhappy and DOING ANYTHING at all, or ignoring it and just "living life" in hopes that the problem is gonna go away on its own? It's not going away. You know it. You can FEEL it. Listen to that feeling FOR A BIT and just SEE FOR YOURSELF. See where it wants you to go and watch things magically fall in place. You will start wondering if fate is real even if you're an atheist (which I am). You'll watch everything, even problems, become opportunities. You'll experience negative things as a way to grow, like a challenge from the universe and when you do your best 100% of the time, are honest about everything, then even if you "fail" at something the universe gives you a little present. That is what religious people call God or God's plan / fate, Buddhists call Karma and so on. As Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself: "Ignoring what goes on in other people's soul - no one ever came to grief that way. But if you won't keep track of what your own soul's doing, how can you NOT be unhappy?" - Book Two: On the River Gran, Among the Quadi; Marcus Aurelius' Meditations
i wonder if the question we have been fixating on: are you happy? is even an accurate or relevant one to have? because the more we fixate on "happiness", the more "unhappiness" will become amplified and obvious. perhaps not having these conversations or placing so much emphasis on it will make everyone more happy LOL.
this obsession or desire to derive answers to happiness, as if there's a formula, is a pretty simplistic one in my opinion. whatever experts say may contain some truth but i dont think it should be used as the be all end all blueprint for everyone. it is extremely generalised and does not take into account individuals and their unique and contextual situations and personalities. i think personality type and a person's innate strengths and weaknesses can have a huge bearing on happiness.
As the story goes, John Henry was hired as a steel driver for the railroad. Later, the railroad company brought in a steam drill to speed up work on the tunnel. It was said that the steam drill could drill faster than any man. The challenge was on, “man against machine.” John Henry was known as the strongest, the fastest, and the most powerful man working on the railroad. He went up against the steam drill to prove that the black worker could drill a hole through the rock farther and faster than the drill could. Using two 10-pound hammers, one in each hand, he pounded the drill so fast and so hard that he drilled a 14-foot hole into the rock. The legend says that the drill was only able to drill nine feet. John Henry beat the steam drill and later died of exhaustion.... I so strongly resonate with this. Yes he died. But did so living fully How many of us are in a state of the opposite. "Living a state of simply existence- just another part in the machine of someone else's means ti "happiness"? He achieved the result, he beat that machine. His Personal happiness Opposed to a borrowed achievement....wealth and fame Happiness is the means by which we travel. Not the achievement (destination/destiny)
well, luckily most of us make a wage and that can be used for some resources for ourselves. it's all connected. if their happiness is the journey to wealth and fame? idk or do they find an empty shell. There's a story in mark manson's "subtle are of not giving a f" that is about the japanese man who served the emperor well into the 1970s on some island keeping the honor of serving, but still pillaging and killing people on the island even though the war was over. The point was, he stuck to his value, but in the end it was a worthless value, or at least a value that could have been served by better action. John Henry's is similar to maybe the story of marathon. Living fully is a great question. I question myself right now. am I living fully by writing this comment? probably not... maybe in alignment with a value of mine to dig in to get closer to truth. Maybe living fully isn't so much about the outward but the inward. We will never know if he was living fully or just using all his reserves to beat the machine. The nihilist in me says, yes, he chose his purpose and stood for that. what single thing is more important than the subjective? Although the story has had an inspirational effect on you... so not totally subjective. Another part thinks there is objective truth and value and human life is precious and of utmost value and so it was a waste to fight the machine... for bigger and faster drills replaced that one... that men also built who had different ideals. Once again back to living fully and what that actually means?
love this. am authenthic and personal lnvocational response - not about "hit points". But open conversation/ explorative conversation/interaction/ .....connection. I too, wrestle with the role and vaule of principle within value(s), and its functional place/objective function, and when it crosses the line into blind faith / cult devotional mind set. How do we distinguish between primal / default instintic/ "instinctual" - and true wisdom ? Within the torment / pursuit, lies the lessons and wisdom to be discovered, that in times of comfort and abundance. We would never seek. It is a measure not of absolute, but of greater/deeper understanding (progession) that we know and live and recognize that moment of humility...aka wisdom, that wich we have the eyes to see it for/by.....we do not see the world as it is 99% of the time - we do not believe what we see....But see (interpret) the world by what we believe. There inlies the challenge/ flaw and....hope/ wiggle room for improvement/ aspiration? (doubt. and its true function in keeping us honest/accounatable) What are the morriors that serve us? And what are the mirrors that enslave us to anothers self serving /'selfish" ends....? Is the reflection a projection of our own wisdom... or playing a bit part in some one elses story/ fantasy..... Am i, a means to some one esles ends ? Or do i recognize my own intrinstic value in the game of life we play each day? @@JSiracusan
As fired up as he looks like, I believe that Arthur isn't the type of man that can REALLY inspire people. He talks about HIS preferences and invites us to do the same. Dude, we're all different. Come up with some general guidelines i/o telling us to "seriously study" Sebastian Bach!!!!!
To say " we lost a generation" is just extreme and untrue. Majority of mchildhoodod consoled of self loathing, neglect, emotional abuse...oxytocin deficit. I was depressed at the age of 5, homeless and drug addicted by 15, only 5 years ago at 25 did I start my journey down self love and happiness. Despite my past, I consider myself one of the happiest people, because I choose to be. Just because my braindevelopment environment was not conducive to happiness, it doesn't mean it can not be learned.
Not sure I agree with the real friend thing (weekly talks). Turning 50 soon and had a best/great friend since age 5 and we talk about once monthly for an hour or so.
Hello you savages. Get access to every episode 10 hours before RUclips by subscribing for free on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw Here's the timestamps:
00:00 What We Get Wrong About Happiness
05:23 Current State of Modern Happiness
14:02 Why Faith is Crucial to Happiness
20:05 The Importance of Family & Friends
27:01 Finding Purpose in Your Work
35:43 How to Manage Your Desires
43:49 The Pleasure of Reliving Memories
51:38 Optimising for Satisfaction
1:01:48 Being Seduced By the 4 Idols
1:10:59 Why Meaning Impacts Happiness
1:23:16 Meaningful Parenting in a Comfortable World
1:26:37 Differences Between Happiness & Unhappiness
1:30:59 Why Anxiety Has Become Common
1:35:25 The Modern Evolution of Envy
1:41:25 Understand the Complex Human Experience
1:44:07 Where to Find Arthur
Anyone else feel like Chris is listening to their thoughts and just puts out episodes precisely when you need them? Looking forward to this episode, really enjoy some Arthur Brooks
I swear to you, I thought to myself ‘I feel directionless, I don’t know what my next step is gonna be for me (career wise; as I work for minimum wage atm and need to escape that). Then I go on my phone and this is the video I see at the top of my feed! 😮.
I also genuinely just finished a clip from JRE featuring Howard bloom and he was explaining how ‘everything is connected’. So ….. yea 😶
I think we just all always need lots of guidance with everything, all of the time. Lol
I was having a conversation with my brother 5 minutes before this episode was released, about him having the ability to make small changes to have a high impact on improving his life.
Well...I just started reading Brook's book on happiness yesterday. I will be using it in one of my classes this fall. It was remarkable timing.
We're all going through life, we tend to go through similar things , there's nothing new under the sun (maybe just more modern versions )
26:00 "If it doesn't hurt your heart when you haven't spoken to your friend in a week, they're not a real friend" - I like the sentiment here, but I feel like you don't need to be in touch with your friends once a week to maintain a true friendship. We all have busy lives, and some of us go weeks or months without speaking, and then we can get together and hit it off like we saw each other yesterday.
This bit struck a nerve with me also. I'm in a similar boat with my friends as you are with yours and yet they're still the people I can turn to when I need them and they're still the people I'd like to spend a lot of time with. Sometimes life can get in the way (although, to be honest with ourselves, the only reason we don't have the time is because we don't make it a priority to have the time)
Yeah, I completely agree. I don't think I've ever had that pain with anyone except my wife, kids, and parents when I was a child.
I've had curiosity about what they're up to. They're in my thoughts regularly, but, yeah, everything else you said.
I understand the realism of seeing people only occasionally, but the other side is, if you don't have someone who you can see almost regularly, your friendship has reached a point of distance where it's at an optional status.
That realization is hurtful, and can create yearning for someone who is more present for you.
I have a couple of life long friends since childhood that I trust and doesn't matter I saw them yesterday or months ago.
You bring up an important point about the nature of true friendships. While frequent communication can signify closeness, the real measure of a friendship often lies in the ability to reconnect effortlessly, regardless of time apart. Life's demands mean we can't always be in constant contact, but the strength of a friendship is evident when we can pick up right where we left off. This understanding acknowledges the depth and resilience of meaningful relationships, highlighting that true connection goes beyond regular communication.
Good and bad episode, which makes me sad and I have a lot to say: I always find it amazing how Arthur Brooks hits the very center of the bullseye of the topic that is closest to my heart. And he is so polished with the right words and definitions. I'm consistently amazed... BUT ultimately his insight isn't much of a life preserver if your life isn't already successful.
Listening to Arthur is more like gaining an academic understanding of life & happiness, not an understanding of how to live. Out of "faith, family, friends, and work" I have faith, but making the other 3 healthier and thriving is the tragic odyssey of my life. I feel like I'm going to war every single day to get my life nutrients, but that day doesn't feel like it will come and I'm likely to starve. Understanding your 'idols' and 'crossing off political opinions from a list' just doesn't cut it, Arthur.
The world is competitive, we're all competing for the same jobs and we all want real connection from each other. It's HARD. There's also less connection available to go around because we're also competing with technology for people's time and attention.
I feel MW is difficult to listen to because I'm a struggling dude and every guru is so successful in life nutrients. Where's the guests where things didn't work out so perfectly in the end? Where's the guests where they actually know male (or female) relatives or coworkers that are lonely out of their minds with no obvious problem to point a finger at? I'm dead serious here. If you want to keep calling the show "Modern" wisdom then I think you need to have people who actually live in the modern world without being insulated from the unique features of it. People who don't themselves have as large of a cushion of life nutrients, or who have close relations to someone without that cushion.
I agree with all your points .
The cushion of family and being loved properly by your parents I think is the biggest factor towards increased happiness ability.
People who say “money doesn’t matter so much “- that’s ridiculous . They have never been truly poor. The comfort of money can help a great amount when you have no comfort from family .
@@Samantha-bq8bo The people who say that "money doesn't matter" are oftentimes people who did nothing else besides building wealth and when they reached that goal, it was empty and they felt just as lonely and shitty as they did before.
There is an amount of money where, after you reach that amount, your life doesn't become better. You just get more things.
If you have no money at all and can't pay rent and can't eat... well, that is the other side of the coin. Point being: Money is not the answer for EVERYTHING. Once you get comfortable with money, you'll know what they're on about.
This is the definition of "misery loves company". Also kind of sounds like you atribute all your problems to the eternal world and never yourself. I may be misinterpreting what you said and I don't know you, obviously, so please take this with a grain of salt.
@@Darko1.0 I'm interested in interviews that I can relate to and is applicable to me. The kind of content would speak to an important group of people in the modern world.
I attribute my problems to myself. And so do other groups of people in the audience whose lives I don't relate as well to. What you said was off base. We're all trying to not feel lost and find our purpose. Don't try to squeeze me and the group I represent out of the conversation.
I feel the same. I have learnt a lot listening to these conversations but many times I feel totally disengaged, listening to people Who live in a different world than mine.
One minute into this video and it's already one of the most important, profound things you could hear, happiness is not a destination it's a direction 👍🏻
Arthur looks very healthy and energetic, especially if he's 60! Inspiring, and does make what he's saying seem more worth listening to - he walks the talk.
It's not that old😅... he looks like a normal 60 year old who takes care of himself.
I enjoyed your aura and insights very much, Arthur. Thank you. I also appreciate that CW was excellent at delivering his questions.
BUT..
When people say, “You are perfect,” they mean that you are wonderful just as you are in this moment. It does not necessarily imply that there is no room for personal growth or improvement. Rather, it is a metaphor suggesting that you can find contentment and happiness within yourself, regardless of where you are or who you are at any given time.
I hope one day we can all realise that the nature of our mind, pure consciousness, is happiness itself. And that we need to do nothing in order to experience it.
It’s not a feeling or an emotion. It’s the lack of resistance to life.
Any step we take towards it is a step in the wrong direction. It is in our last attempt to escape the moment that we realise happiness is already what we are.
Have a great day guys.
Your brain literally focuses on the negatives despite how little. What made you say that happiness is the nature of our mind?
This guy. For years, I felt and thought as much, and this gentlemen clearly articulated as such.
I agree with mostly everything. But many times people don't come from a good family and for them it's very hard to understand how a family environment is important. It is my case, and it's a big turn you have to make on your head to start believing that family is a good thing after you spend 20+ years in a bad family environment. The nurture part is very defining on those aspects and it's a chain effect. If we have good families it's more likely that in the future the next generation would like to keep it that way. But it's not what I see happening, the future looks grim in this aspect.
I enjoyed it too, although I think I will pass on the suggestion of taking a 2.30am walk alone without my phone. 😂
But definitely some good take aways on the whole.
Your perspective on family is both insightful and deeply personal. For those who haven't experienced a positive family environment, understanding and valuing familial bonds can be a significant mental shift. The cycle of dysfunction can indeed seem hard to break, but recognizing this challenge is the first step towards change. Creating a better future for the next generation starts with redefining our own understanding and experience of family. Your story emphasizes the importance of breaking these cycles and striving for healthier relationships, even when it seems difficult.
None of that matters, the reality of things is that you are the person in control, create your family and put the effort into making the change in your generation, otherwise, nothing anyone else does matters
Wonderful conversation. I was really hit by the topic of letting your kids see you doing hard things, and having it be okay to fail. I find that I'm a perfectionist, and I often don't let myself get outside of my comfort zone, therefore I'm not risking failure. But I realize that's not what I want my daughters to learn, I want them to dare to do the hard stuff. So I'm going to show them what that looks like. Thanks Chris, as always, really enjoy what you're doing.
Hey Chris just started listening to your podcasts
loving your work.
getting a lot from them.
But this one with Arthur Brooks just blew me away his energy enthusiasm
I just couldn’t get enough.
Thank you both
Healthy and balanced guest. Sound...normal advice...community, transcendence. All the things our ancestors taught us😊
My two points in my life where I was experiencing depression was when I'd invested and sacrificed a lot to be very good at something I was very passionate about and nobody was hiring me to do it.
I’m 62 and I’m happy. I have learned to question my thoughts and I’ve realized that those stressful thoughts just aren’t real. I follow Arthur Brooks, have read his book and taken his online courses but he’s still working towards it.
I listen to your show almost every day and it helps me so much, Thank you!!
almost all episodes are very good but this one is exceptional! will listen to this multiple times!
Love the episode, continue the great work, love the guests everytime!
Chris, you are absolutely smashing it with the guests and the topics right now!!
I was just watching a bunch of videos with this dude in it, this episode came out at the perfect time
This about happiness reminds me of a podcast with David and Huberman. When its mention that in life need to have friction to be better and happy overall.
1:02:20 Aquinas referenced
Things we care about the most. Our idols:
1. Money
2. Pleasure
3. Power
4. Honor (fame, admiration and praise from people)
What a discussion, lots of insights and very compelling questions
Dang this guy is so articulate 👏
Energizing and insightful. He took a lot of risks here and it worked out well imo
This is great, definitely a rewatch
This is an excellent episode! I love applicable lessons.
After I started to listen to this podcast I've become more neurotic as I was befour despite not being ill intentioned
Superb interview. Thank you.
This guest was awesome!
Thank you so much Chris for everything you do. This was beneficial. I'm listening to this all the way from India.
I didn't know the guest and I wasn't sure if I was going to watch, so I just clicked, and I heard the first line from him... dang. now I'm going to have to watch the whole thing. Thank you for your incredible content as always Chris 🙏
Looooved this one. One of your best guests!
Would you give your life for your parent's life?
Chris: Yes, but I would be in a lot of trouble for it.
This was a great episode! So insightful!
absolutely loved this episode! thanks Chris! Arthur Brooks rocks!
My childhood: 'you are more exceptional than your peers, the world is scary so we will do everything for you, when you go against the grain we will plant doubt under the guise of being concerned, we don't talk about emotions'
Great video ! Love hearing Authors insights and enjoy the great questions you ask. This has to be one of the best RUclips channels on this app! Keep up the great work Chris!
Hi Chris! Fantastic episode. Arthur Brooks articulate stating of eternal truths is a balm for the soul. If you'd like to sample his daily regimen of spiritual nourishment, take in a Catholic mass. The trick is to find one done properly and reverently by a priest that genuinely loves what he does (not always true, sadly) Fortunately it looks like you have quite a few options. A friend from Austin recommends St. Mary Cathedral downtown w/ Father Daniel Liu, St. John Neumann in Westlake w/ Father Dean Wilhelm, or St. Vincent de Paul w/ Fr. Tom Reitmeyer. Go and sit in the back and take it all in. Just watch. Much of it won't make sense at first, but that's okay. No one's going to bug you or ask why you're there.
This is FREAKING amazing!! I've already forwarded it to 10+ people and my sis is buying your book. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!!
Anyone else constantly confusing this guy with Scott Galloway?
Been enjoying episodes with Arthur a lot. Thanks for this one, Chris!
Happiness is a MENTAL state
I have multiple sclerosis
Am fighting for my life
Thank you for your work it’s helping me
Amazing video. They always are but this one really hit right. Thank you both Chris and Arthur
“And all I want for you my son is to be satisfied.”
What I got from this episode is that Happiness is not a thing; it is an overall direction in your life. Your overall happiness is about your connections with other human beings. It is about the quality of your connections with other human beings. Working hard, working long hours, accumulating wealth, and so on are not going to make you happy. Pleasure is not happiness!
Excellent episode. Thank you
I liked the bit about distilling our personal meaning to its purest form- and questioning what is worth dying for? That was quite useful. Arthur does seem to push his beliefs on Chris, particularly with marriage and faith/spirituality. Sure, the research might say some good stuff about it, but its your adherance to the credibily of the research that makes it a self-furfilling prophecy for you. Lets keep it clear here: the value in relationships is connection, and the value of faith/spiritual beliefs is in transcendence. It seems Arthur has found himself in the position of directing people how to improve their lives and this extends to how he directs Chris. He is obviously very self aware-and states and overattachment to his own beliefs. 😊 Some great things to think about from this episode.
Arthur probably believes and has accepted catholism because it’s his wife’s belief and that is Intertwined with family which is a beautiful and feels so good when you know there is always someone there to catch you. That’s what a religious community can give you. Boundaries and love and everyone following the same rules of loving kindness feels so good. So he has accepted those rules and it works for him. His needs are met and he is happy and supported and loved.
Connect to source in the way that feels right for you. Hopefully community and connection if you meet the right partner will come and it could be beautiful too for all.
Like he’s says stop chasing the useless crap that will never fulfill your souls and heart. Love is the answer.
I’m not catholic, I’m just connected to source, my husband is Muslim tough and I see how lovely that community is. But I don’t full believe in all of it so I cannot submit to it. Since lots of religions have a tendency to reject gay people, I don’t like that. Love is love! ❤️
Ever since I found my rumbo my life is much more meaningful
This is the therapy none of us have paid for. Thank you both for your public service! ❤
Incredible talk! Im only half way through & got 4 pages of notes! cholk-full of practical advice. Thank you Chris for inviting Arthur Brooks. Keep doing your great work!
"If you get married and have kids you WILL be happier. I have the data."
What he misses here is that it's not really anti-marriage rhetoric or philosophy that's stopping people from having kids, it's something way deeper. Most guys hypothetically want to have a wife and kids, but solitary life is becoming way too comfortable with all the technology we have now. Both men and women's standards are going up, on top of hypergamy and the lack of social pressure to settle down. We all know the usual incel spiel, but what all of this ultimately means is that even if a dude is able to start attracting women, there's little incentive NOT to just run through them.
I'm seeing early 20's girls saying they HAVE to date guys in their late 30's or older to find someone who's even remotely interested in settling down. I feel like that wasn't around 10 years ago. And if you're a woman over say 32, what guy given the choice would risk a geriatric pregnancy? It's really sad and messed up and I think it will be the downfall of our species. I wonder if creatures like us have evolved before on Earth, but after a few millennia they just download themselves into quantum foam or something and they vanish from the fossil record.
Marriage and kids are definitely NOT for everyone.
Indeed, as you said, going single is becoming quite viable as a strategy (or at least not getting married/having kids), as it lets you save up money much more easily, and have a chance to secure a decent retirement. Otherwise, just the freedom to live as you please is quite attractive, as is the peace of mind that solitude offers. With multiplayer games about, and things like Discord, it's easier than ever to enjoy a "night with friends" from the comfort of your own home. And, for anyone not inherently attractive/charming, dating can be tough work, and often not really worth the hassle.
@@TheFuzzicianexactly what he said. You have to actively go against the animal brain, in order to achieve happiness. All of the things you said about going the easy route is what is keeping everyone so unhappy.
I know 32 is considered geriatric, but I think as long as they are healthy, they do just fine. my mom had me at 37, and my older sister had kids at 37 and 39, both healthy... it is true that health issues are more and more common though.
the point of his 3 questions was to really narrow in on what you're here for presently. I doubt many would say, eh I just wanna play video games and watch porn... or would they? I don't know I'm out of touch with the younger generations to some extent. many of the new kids at my company start talking immediately about gender... and I feel like that's not that important.
Well the egyptians were certainly advanced... now they are foam... I like it.
@@JSiracusan unfortunately statistics would prove otherwise. The rate of problems with pregnancy go up significantly. Not to mention problems with the mother, but malformations with the children as well.
I know what the stats say. However, living life in accordance with stats is severely limiting. Why would anyone get married? Given 50/50 outcome?. And there are things you can do to limit risk in marriage... no guarantees... and things you can do to limit risk in having children. And physical health of the parents is a huge one. Hopefully you see what I'm saying... generally yes, specifically, not necessarily.@frontierlandfrank5314 @@frontierlandfrank5314
This guy is so specific to his own experience with his prescriptions.
“Listen to Bach” - later explains he was in a choir.
“Speak to your friend(s) semi weekly or they aren’t your friend(s)” - then explains that’s how his friends interact.
Kinda loses a bit of credit with the specific anecdotal absolutes.
Thanks for streaming this!
So powerful.
Decide today: I will become who I came here to be. Nothing and no one will stop me. I will not stop me.
Take yourself in hand. Grow out of dysfunction. You will feel better every day.
One day you will stop and think "Wow. I haven't been miserable in .... wow."
If you place Yourself as your priority, you will outgrow misery and thus lift up and brighten the corner where you live.
Our one job ❤❤❤
Let's thank Arthur for putting special effects on video
Brilliant. Hands down, this is my favourite podcast of yours todate. Thank you.
I love Arthur Brooks’ work in popularizing the fluid vs. crystal intelligence as it relates to finding purpose later in life. I’m only in my 30s, so it’s a great perspective to explore given that so many of my relatives and mentors are actively figuring out mid-life
There are three macro trends that have brought us here.
1. The long march of the 1960s Boomer “counter culture”.
2. Globalization.
3. Tech.
Silicon Valley is the nexus where all three meet.
Anyone who is not actively fighting to roll back the first two and approach the third with the question “what’s best for humans?” is not worth listening to, and is usually obfuscating and gaslighting.
Globalization has been an utter disaster for Western economies, which have been limping on life support since 2008 with low growth due to massive trade deficits and open borders, while the cultural revolution has destroyed the fabric of society that used to provide support in difficult times. Tech is neither good nor bad inherently, but those in positions of responsibility have been flailing to adjust to it, when they’re not trying to harness it for Orwellian oppression.
But no, kids aren’t depressed because of social media. They’re depressed because they have no economic future, and their minds and relationships have been destroyed by cultural insanity. Social media, drugs, games, ‘corn’ and so on are what people fall into when they have nothing else.
Your analysis of these macro trends and their impact on society is thought-provoking. The convergence of counterculture, globalization, and technology indeed shapes our modern world in profound ways. While each of these trends has potential benefits, their combined effect can also exacerbate economic and social challenges. Your call to critically evaluate and address these issues with a human-centric approach is crucial. It’s important to foster a balanced perspective that recognizes the complexities and strives for solutions that enhance human well-being amidst these ongoing transformations.
I’m out in a couple hours on 😅😅😅😅😅😅😊😅😊😅😊😅😊😅😊😅 42:18
I think locus of control has an impact on happiness as well. Which in a way reenforces his thesis. If an ego can accept being small in big universe, and be comfortable with it, happiness in the moment will follow.
What if your family hurts you and you’ve tried many times to make it work . But your parents are in the age group of judgement and sometimes coldness . It is a huge loss towards happiness not having family. But you have to leave the situation to stop being set back emotionally.
The other note is .. if you’ve lived in poverty success would give you comfort and calmness . It’s just balance .
When you’ve struggled forever you don’t really need the struggle to keep going ..the fear keeps you going lol
Wow. Great episode.
The key aspect that professors like his always fail to address is "the emptiness" or "the void". People may interpret this experience as "unhappiness", but it's truly so much more than that.
Most of the time, academics approach life from an "absurdism" perspective (a philosophy based on the belief that the universe is irrational and meaningless and that the search for order brings the individual into conflict with the universe), thus don't make it make sense. Just struggle. Just do stuff. As Albert Camus says, "The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy."
So the solutions proffered are just about "the struggle" (e.g. FINDING purpose in an ultimately meaningless existence), but they fail to recognize the futility of the struggle with no viable end goal (e.g. how exactly does one fill the emptiness).
The questioin of "What is the meaning of life?" is something I've been pondering since age 8, and I've certainly learned a great many things from those ponderings. But the most glaring aspect is how frequently "professioinals" and "academics" dodge the simple question of the void...even though they themselves most likely experience it. Just like everyone else.
I'm asking out of curiosity because I'd like to know more about this. Would an answer like "there is no set/universal meaning of life, everyone needs to define it for themselves and your job is to find what it is for you" be satisfactory and if not, why not?
@@iiNspirex Definitely a valid question and one that's been asked/stated throughout history. Let's discuss the two primary points.
** 1) There's no meaning in life.
I once heard a line on an old TV series that said, "We live only because we fear to die." If life has no meaning, then to what end should people struggle? Aside from merely preserving their existence. And why should people be "good"? Or civil? Or follow rules, laws, etc.? Or even subscribe to any set of ethics, except for a utilitarian purpose (i.e. manipulation to get what one wants)?
In essence, why should Sisyphus continue rolling the stone up the hill--only to have it drop again--if all is futility? Why should one continually torture themselves for the sole purpose of merely "passing the time."? And why stop people from committing suicide and encouraging them to live...if ultimately their living is futile torture?
Thus is the conundrum of life having no meaning, because then life really has no value aside from "passing the time".
** 2) Everyone needs to define for themselves what their meaning is.
This is pretty much relativism (i.e. one's meaning is relative to their own pscyhe and whims). Thus, if one decides that their meaning in life is to take over the world, kill a bunch of people, etc., can others make the argument that such a decision is "bad"? Not really, though it doesn't stop others from making a reverse decision to resist. However, no matter how many deaths arise from the conflicts of contrasting "meaning making", it's all still futility. Whether people die, suffer, live, etc., it's all rather pointless. Because life has no meaning, and one's decision to ascribe meaning to one's life is just a different way of "passing the time".
If people choose to pass the time in a constructive way, then great. If people choose to pass the time in a destructive way, that's fine too. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. All the sacrifice, suffering, patience, etc. that people are told are virtuous...doesn't matter. One's "meaning for THEIR life"--no matter what it is--is just as good as the next "meaning for life".
Thus is the conundrum of relativism.
Can humanity exist within these two modalities? Or even accept them? Deep down inside, the majority of humanity rejects them...for reasons they don't know. Except for the single fact that humanity feels they're wrong...hence why they continue to search and struggle.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 amplified
"He has made everything beautiful and appropriate in its time. He has also planted eternity [a sense of divine purpose] in the human heart [a mysterious longing which nothing under the sun can satisfy, except God]-yet man cannot find out (comprehend, grasp) what God has done (His overall plan) from the beginning to the end."
He brought up Nietzsche and said most people follow him. Then he just said don't follow him. He glazed over him.
It's because no one can actually counter Nietzsche without going into extremes to counter the apathy. I think it sucked that he acknowledged Nietzsche ideas as the leading contender in modern life, but like many other people doesn't provide an actual satisfying modern answer to this.
That's because no one really counter it or requires some deep understanding of the modern world right now. Not history. That's my 2 cents.
Hmm Thomas Aquinas reference. Chris you can find some commonalities with Bishop Barron on the topic of values. He can also discuss the youth and latin mass culture
I think this was my favorite conversation!
Macro nutrients of Happiness:
Enjoyment
Satisfaction
Meaning
Even we are successful financially and materially if what we do has no meaning and helpful to people some won't be truly happy I think. I like the term what is your IKIGAI?
This content is very helpful/useful 👍.
Great questions, Chris!
What a conversation! I sadly enjoyed this:):)
"What's your Idol" needs to be a short if it's not already
Well enjoyed that
Great episode (as usual). I loved how at 35:20 when Arthur is in the middle of getting really deep a green blob appears!
Please tell me what you're smoking!!!
unintentional facetime reactions✌🎈
No, I think striving for meaning creates more anxiety than it resolves. This is a immense world with "everything, everywhere, all at once". It's impossible to comprehend its (or your) meaning, unless you want to claim omniscience.
Another video to add to my "Crisis of Modernity" playlist
the question is when Chris's future wife asks him to be home more what does he do? Say no, and she's in her place, but may ditch you for it, say yes and you've lost your mission and she may ditch you for it. That's a tough one and it's not just that.. it's like parental leave and much more to navigate.
One thing I've heard on multiple podcasts lately is that, oh yeah , people in the past didn't have that problem, therefore they must've been happy. one example was that widows in the past were happy after their men died, to counter the point of the man saying that women hit the wall and want a man. In this case, that older men didn't have envy before phones and must've been happy in their bubble... I think that is very much speculative and probably just a half truth if that. The older people in my life were not any happier, both men and women. They were just who they were with their own struggles sometimes happy and sometimes not. Does being enlightened mean happy? or just being lighter?
This was a great podcast though. I may re-listen because I didn't take notes. I don't think they touched on the marketing of happiness, which became a cultural phenomenon... Like that if you're not happy, then you should be chasing it, or that there's something wrong with you if you're not happy (take a med or something).
The definition of working class and middle class differs between the US and the UK and it's funny to see that in the convo without the parties being aware of it.
Anxiety in society is possibly related to the high rate of caffiene use.
❤ Arthur ❤
Fantastic
Regards from Spain, Arthur, I see you have Spanish connections❤
Damn, RUclips is cramming more and more commercials into videos. Making its videos increasingly unwatchable.
Ad block.
RUclips red is like 6 bucks man. More than worth the cost
@@wkb9211 You know, I’d have no problem paying if not for their political censorship problem.
Perhaps, after the election if they are even handed. Not looking good so far, unfortunately.
RUclips red is worth the cost imo I hate ads
Premium is totally worth it
Do I see the Running of the Bulls / Pamplona and Don Quixote in his office?
My Dad ran with bulls in 1969. And taught Don Quixote to his 4th year Spanish students at Incline High School.
Nostalgic.
Insightfully Informative !! Good show 👍
People need to stop listening to some well established, everything in order academic and need to look within themselves. Academia tells you about the "average person". There is no average person. It's a statistical thing. "When you look at the data" doesn't mean shit FOR YOU SPECIFICALLY. It can tell you something about OTHERS and what THEY have in COMMON, but that average statistical thing doesn't apply to everybody, does it? Everybody is an outlier in some way and average in some other way.
Stop consuming social media (that means this shit, too), stop watchnig TV, stop gaming, stop overworking yourself for AN HOUR and just go outside and DON'T even TRY to do ANYTHING at all. Just fucking walk. Disconnect from the outside, reconnect to the inside (you don't have to do that actively btw...it just happens once you allow yourself to be with yourself without distraction.)
When you ask most people: "What is scarier? Spending a day with a person you hate, or spending an hour in silence looking at a wall?" most will answer "the wall." But that is exactly what the fuck they need. How can you expect to ever be content (not talking about happiness here) if you're running away from yourself??
Everything is just "run run run gotta get the bag" even though they can live comfortably (not starving, can pay rent, are safe). Instead the conclusions are "if I have X amount of money, THEN I can live life and then I'll be happy.", "When I reach X amount of years in age, then I am able to live life.", "Gotta get that promotion to go to that expensive place for a vacation, THAT'S what I need.".
Nah. What you need is values and a good life philosophy, which you now actually have to work towards, which means THINKING / WRITING about it and asking YOURSELF tough questions you probably know the answer to already, but are actively lying to yourself and avoiding the answers to. Why? Because you know you'll have to change things and it's going to be uncomfortable first, before it gets comfortable again (think drug addiction: Why are some people able to just walk away from smoking cigarettes after 25 years of use from one day to the next? Even though it's one of the hardest habits to quit, some people have a realization and just walk away. Some struggle and relapse, but eventually quit. It's not about the substance, is what I am trying to say: It's about your inner workings. That's why you're turning to drugs in the first place).
We all know this to be true within ourselves, if you've spent ANY amount of observing your inner turmoil once you encounter such a hard truth. "I should break up with this person, but I really like the sex" is a good example of your hedonistic side winning over your morals and the innate knowledge of what the right thing to do is. Again: The right thing to do oftentimes is uncomfortable but very much worth it.
The easiest thing is not the thing you need to do... Do the hard things, which doesn't mean WORK EVEN MORE. You know exactly what's right and wrong. If you don't....disconnect and go for walks. You need to listen to the thing inside of you that is telling you exactly what YOU - NEED - to do. Trust it (have faith). Not in some god / religious way (but if you are religious, you're gonna have a way easier time with this), but in YOURSELF. There is no losing. It's all winning and learning. No step back. It's ALL forward. Doesn't matter that you lost the job, if your character and integrity is intact. You will find work / purpose that suits YOU, not you forming yourself to suit some work! It's gonna be tough, but that is part of the course. In the "end" it's all worth it.
Life is only hard, when you firstly: don't know who you are, what you want and what the direction you're going in life should be (all of those things are just lying inside of you, waiting to be HEARD, but you're unable to hear them, because you're busy jerking off, doing drugs, playing video games while listening to podcasts in hopes that you'll hear something that makes you change your life)
Secondly: you're so poor that you're starving. How many people in the western world are really THAT poor. People in the comments listening to Modern "Wisdom", having access to the internet which they're probably accessing from a mobile phone which has been built on the backs of slaves (african cobalt mines / chinese workers that regularily try to kill themselves so much so, they installed nets around the buildings so they can't - research it) and commenting on how poor they are, need to rethink what poverty means. You don't have to make 100k/yr to not starve, or to attract a partner, either!
Be somebody that is comfortable in their own skin, have a goal (which you can only find if you listen to yourself) and work towards it. That is everything you need to do to be "happy" in the end.
Before I forget to mention it: You have to be honest. With others ofc, but honest with yourself most of all. Truly 100% ruthless honesty. What do I mean?
Maybe you're unhappy with your marriage and you have kids with the other person, whom you most certainly love. Still, you're unhappy. You know you have to talk about it, but you're afraid of what the other person might say or do, you're afraid you're maybe gonna lose your children and everything you own in the divorce, if the worst case were to happen and so you "accept fate" and live unhappily for another 5-10 years....then you really fucked up.
Now the worst case actually IS happening and you lost the chance to do anything about it when the time was right (when you noticed that something ain't right). If you had been honest with yourself, honest with your partner and genuine in your approach and talked about it, things might've turned out differently. They might've turned out the same, but you wouldn't have lost 5-10 years of your life being miserable, too. Your fear of conflict / of hard decisions / of a hard life made you choose the easy way, but that made everythinig so much harder in the long run, that in comparison the hard life WAS the easy life.
In the end, what's better? Saying something, being aware that you're unhappy and DOING ANYTHING at all, or ignoring it and just "living life" in hopes that the problem is gonna go away on its own? It's not going away. You know it. You can FEEL it. Listen to that feeling FOR A BIT and just SEE FOR YOURSELF. See where it wants you to go and watch things magically fall in place. You will start wondering if fate is real even if you're an atheist (which I am). You'll watch everything, even problems, become opportunities. You'll experience negative things as a way to grow, like a challenge from the universe and when you do your best 100% of the time, are honest about everything, then even if you "fail" at something the universe gives you a little present.
That is what religious people call God or God's plan / fate, Buddhists call Karma and so on.
As Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself: "Ignoring what goes on in other people's soul - no one ever came to grief that way. But if you won't keep track of what your own soul's doing, how can you NOT be unhappy?" - Book Two: On the River Gran, Among the Quadi; Marcus Aurelius' Meditations
1:20:00 Coherence and Chris cracks up!!
i wonder if the question we have been fixating on: are you happy? is even an accurate or relevant one to have? because the more we fixate on "happiness", the more "unhappiness" will become amplified and obvious. perhaps not having these conversations or placing so much emphasis on it will make everyone more happy LOL.
this obsession or desire to derive answers to happiness, as if there's a formula, is a pretty simplistic one in my opinion. whatever experts say may contain some truth but i dont think it should be used as the be all end all blueprint for everyone. it is extremely generalised and does not take into account individuals and their unique and contextual situations and personalities. i think personality type and a person's innate strengths and weaknesses can have a huge bearing on happiness.
Since when do Harvard Professors have two tickets for the gun show?
Does comes handy right now thanks for the awesome content Chris
As the story goes, John Henry was hired as a steel driver for the railroad. Later, the railroad company brought in a steam drill to speed up work on the tunnel. It was said that the steam drill could drill faster than any man. The challenge was on, “man against machine.” John Henry was known as the strongest, the fastest, and the most powerful man working on the railroad. He went up against the steam drill to prove that the black worker could drill a hole through the rock farther and faster than the drill could. Using two 10-pound hammers, one in each hand, he pounded the drill so fast and so hard that he drilled a 14-foot hole into the rock. The legend says that the drill was only able to drill nine feet. John Henry beat the steam drill and later died of exhaustion....
I so strongly resonate with this.
Yes he died. But did so living fully
How many of us are in a state of the opposite. "Living a state of simply existence- just another part in the machine of someone else's means ti "happiness"?
He achieved the result, he beat that machine. His Personal happiness
Opposed to a borrowed achievement....wealth and fame
Happiness is the means by which we travel. Not the achievement (destination/destiny)
well, luckily most of us make a wage and that can be used for some resources for ourselves. it's all connected. if their happiness is the journey to wealth and fame? idk or do they find an empty shell. There's a story in mark manson's "subtle are of not giving a f" that is about the japanese man who served the emperor well into the 1970s on some island keeping the honor of serving, but still pillaging and killing people on the island even though the war was over. The point was, he stuck to his value, but in the end it was a worthless value, or at least a value that could have been served by better action.
John Henry's is similar to maybe the story of marathon.
Living fully is a great question. I question myself right now. am I living fully by writing this comment? probably not... maybe in alignment with a value of mine to dig in to get closer to truth. Maybe living fully isn't so much about the outward but the inward. We will never know if he was living fully or just using all his reserves to beat the machine. The nihilist in me says, yes, he chose his purpose and stood for that. what single thing is more important than the subjective? Although the story has had an inspirational effect on you... so not totally subjective.
Another part thinks there is objective truth and value and human life is precious and of utmost value and so it was a waste to fight the machine... for bigger and faster drills replaced that one... that men also built who had different ideals.
Once again back to living fully and what that actually means?
love this. am authenthic and personal lnvocational response - not about "hit points". But open conversation/ explorative conversation/interaction/ .....connection.
I too, wrestle with the role and vaule of principle within value(s), and its functional place/objective function, and when it crosses the line into blind faith / cult devotional mind set.
How do we distinguish between primal / default instintic/ "instinctual" - and true wisdom ?
Within the torment / pursuit, lies the lessons and wisdom to be discovered, that in times of comfort and abundance. We would never seek.
It is a measure not of absolute, but of greater/deeper understanding (progession) that we know and live and recognize that moment of humility...aka wisdom, that wich we have the eyes to see it for/by.....we do not see the world as it is 99% of the time - we do not believe what we see....But see (interpret) the world by what we believe.
There inlies the challenge/ flaw and....hope/ wiggle room for improvement/ aspiration? (doubt. and its true function in keeping us honest/accounatable)
What are the morriors that serve us?
And what are the mirrors that enslave us to anothers self serving /'selfish" ends....?
Is the reflection a projection of our own wisdom... or playing a bit part in some one elses story/ fantasy.....
Am i, a means to some one esles ends ?
Or do i recognize my own intrinstic value in the game of life we play each day?
@@JSiracusan
As fired up as he looks like, I believe that Arthur isn't the type of man that can REALLY inspire people. He talks about HIS preferences and invites us to do the same. Dude, we're all different. Come up with some general guidelines i/o telling us to "seriously study" Sebastian Bach!!!!!
To say " we lost a generation" is just extreme and untrue.
Majority of mchildhoodod consoled of self loathing, neglect, emotional abuse...oxytocin deficit. I was depressed at the age of 5, homeless and drug addicted by 15, only 5 years ago at 25 did I start my journey down self love and happiness.
Despite my past, I consider myself one of the happiest people, because I choose to be. Just because my braindevelopment environment was not conducive to happiness, it doesn't mean it can not be learned.
Not sure I agree with the real friend thing (weekly talks). Turning 50 soon and had a best/great friend since age 5 and we talk about once monthly for an hour or so.
The essence of despair is feeling like a liability to be managed
ThankQ
I've never been this early! Do I win the terminally online award now?
Nah uh
39:28 We need a conversation with Gabor Maté on this podcast.
I would love to listen to an episode about finding your passion. I know this is similar but didn’t quite scratch the itch
Helpful sir 😃 thank you