Your future self is not impressed 😖 ADHD Impulsivity + Temporal Discounting
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- Temporal discounting means that we discount things that will only happen in the future. Like, retirement or getting old and frail. So we make decisions that are better for us in the short term, and long term be damned!
Now, not now is a term coined by Dr. Russel Barkley. Unlike temporal discounting, we ADHDers not only discount the future, we literally forget it's there because... it's not now.
That's what we're untangling today and how to manage it.
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Let me be the one to say that unexpected sh*t can happen in your 50s. At 53, moving out of one home to another, I broke both of my wrists and right elbow. Off work for 8 weeks after surgery, no significant other to help with basic living tasks, barely enough savings to cover the hit to my income and 8 weeks of painful physical therapy, all while dealing with ADHD and most of my stuff still in boxes. So yes, the best laid plans can get derailed at any age but can be complicated with age.
BTW, I did beat my doctor's prediction that at my "advanced age" it would take 14-16 weeks to heal, and another 12 weeks of PT, before I could reasonably expect to return to work. I willed myself to heal just to spite him for making that comment about my age!
hi do you think stimming should be encouraged or eliminated? If I try to stop stimming behaviors could I be worse off? or better?
I think if your stimming behaviors are helpful and not harmful, why not? If they are harmful, look for alternate ways to self soothe.
@@CarenMagill you can do video to talk alternative stimming harmful?🥺
I'm very good at planning. But the executing... the executing...
We are never in the present but in the future. With time blindness, I always feel that I skip through the months and years. I do not know how many years pass. I am constantly reminded even on RUclips when videos I had watched two or three years ago are on my playlist again and I see a comment that I posted 3 years ago and I suddenly feel that I had posted the comment a week ago. My sense of time has been fractured by ADHD. I am undiagnosed and I fear that my ADHD is so severe that it has fractured my sense of time.
Thank you so much for the two time management videos and the shout out about 50 year old problems. You give us hope just through the positive way you speak about these issues that it’s possible to do some damage control ❤
how can you start a youtube channel and keep on hrowing it and working on it i keep changing everything
I feel like we are psychically connected! I just had a huge conversation with my past self and my future self. We can't go back in time and fix things, but If I could, I'm imagining that right now is a time that I'd want to come back to and 'fix'. I am thinking "what advice would future me have for the present me right now". Its great advice. Embrace the truth, be vulnerable, make small improvements everyday, be nice to yourself, take it seriously. Lets see if Ill listen!
very clever reframing! thanks for sharing
You will listen if you give yourself permission to !!!
My Tesla shares will take care of future me :)
I really feel you about the having to stay in corporate to pay for student loans. Especially when you are a pretty good artist with potential for greatness in the craft.
You can try selling your art prints on Etsy while continuing at your job
Lovedddd this
Thanks for yet another on-point, helpful and grounded video. I'm playing catch up because obvs I forgot about youtube for a few weeks what with it then being in the Not Now! In terms of meeting your future self, I love your way of connecting them with your past self. I often choose to start tasks I'm resisting to 'save future Helen a job'. When it comes to bigger life stuff, however, this week I've literally been pondering taking a year sabbatical and living off my divorce money whilst I do my MA! (Which would screw future Helen tbh!)
I was LITERALLY asking my therapist for help with this earlier in the week. 😅
Thanks!
thank you so much!!!
I love how well you describe my difficulties.
I always get such great information and value from your channel. I don't know why you don't have more subscribers. Thank you🙏🏽
I appreciate that! I'm still pretty new to this :)
This resignation with me so much. I’m 42 and single just bought a townhome in a dangerous community. I’ve had my car window shot out and someone tried to break in my door. Recently my equity shot up and I have a potential to net 50K to pay off the $700 a month student loan debt I’ve been carrying for the last 15 years, move back to Seattle, where I don’t need a car and save about $1,200 a month for several years to put a down payment on a new home. My only concern is whether or not homes will be affordable again. I currently have a 2.375 interest rate. My realtor tells me homes will not be $1,000 a month again. But I am anxious about living in this neighborhood. The neighborhood seems to be growing and improving aesthetically and property values seem to be going up but how much temporary pain am I supposed to take for the future. How many burglaries does one take for a better tomorrow. If I was to move and my home value increases by hundreds of thousands over the next few year I don’t think I could live with myself. Also there’s an inner artist in me that I am trying to work on a project I am serious about with my 9-5. If I moved back to Seattle to my old job that I loved and could do with my eyes closed I could p active that craft more. I’m trying to be more disciplined, with less instant gratification. Trying to think about the future but living in the present is hard and is often painful. I know that this plan deals with my wanderlust and inability to live in one place for a long time. Because of my age I’m really trying to stay put. But the opportunity to pay off my debt is really tempting. But Inonly have 5 more years to go. I’ve got 4 therapist and 2 psychics to help me with this… seriously. I have to make a decision soon. House is about to go on the market and I have to sign a lease soon.
You can try to put your home on the market to see if anyone bites, but people (well, except for you) do more research on the home they are buying before they buy. Good luck.
Thanks. Ironically my realtor wants it. I just don’t know if I should hold on to it for the potential growth in equity over the years and the growing costs of housing. Housing may be too expensive for me to get into in the next couple of years.
I don’t want to make an impulsive decision for my future self to lat r regret.