You give me so much damn hope!!!! It’s getting closer to my days to stop. I’m tapering a lot right now so I already kinda feeel like shit. But I keep having these feelings of doom. Like I won’t be able to make it. Watching your videos seriously help me realize it’s NOT IMPOSSIBLE like everyone wants you to think. Ugh
Girl, this is your journey, and I applaud your honesty. I went through this many years ago, and it’s normal. I got back on Suboxone a few years ago which I am so regretting now. Just keep pushing. It’s a roller coaster ride for sure.
Erika Legs I spent 5 years off of it before going back on. Honestly, the PAWS came and went for about 18 months the first time. This second time I can’t seem to get past 9 days.i got my dose down very low this past fall and winter, and felt good until the anxiety and depression kicked in and scared me. Just knowing what I experienced before makes me not want to jump. The first time, I felt great at 90 days off of it. I still didn’t have all my energy back, but I was so happy! Then 6 months came and everything came crashing down. That’s when Paws set in for me. Went from 6 to 8 months in a terrible depression, then it lifted for a while, then came back. But honestly, I would almost rather deal with the Paws than feel like this. Suboxone has made me very angry and negative. I have no drive to do anything. I used to care about other people, but now I can’t see anything beyond myself. I have no curiosity to life anymore and am only somewhat happy if I am alone, away from other people. I can see such a difference in you since you came off it, it’s amazing. You have your spirit back!
@@HalfwayJac I seriously could have written the same paragraph ! I love that you shared that paws took 18 months and you got thru all of that once ! dude that is so rare
Erika Legs your response made my day! Thank you so much. I wish I would have just jumped those months ago when the dose was really low. I have realized that suffering is inevitable in life. I have suffered more in this last year than any other year and I have just remained the same. If I would have jumped off, I would be suffering with PAWS right now, but at least I would be on my way to feeling better. I have dealt with so much depression and anxiety in my life, that even when I get a little bit depressed, I freak out and will do anything to get rid of the feeling. But man, being on this still is making me not be able to recognize myself anymore. I do remember the first year coming off it being very, very hard staying sober, however, I was so much more excited about life, and excited to figure out who I was. I just seem to dread everything these days. Also, I am really sensitive to noise on Suboxone. Today people are mowing their lawns and it makes me anxiety ridden. It’s the weirdest thing ever. I am kicking myself for ever going back on it.
God! I can relate. You are NOT alone! Mornings are the beginning of a new day. Alllll day long. Without enough support, it is soooo hard! I feel you don't have enough. I KNOW we both need brain scans to see where our blood flow is lacking & otherwise. I am very leary of ant-depressants. I know it can help some from suicide, but the side affects nah!!! Can cause more harm than good & by then, you lost your job, car, home. I was certified in Nutrition years ago, I know certain foods can help, & certain foods can make your condition worse. Sometimes coffee with weed even, can cause anxiety!!!
I feel a weird detached feeling that’s hard to describe ! I’m still on 0.4 but I’ve been low for over 18 months it’s hard stay the course you have done fantastic I still lack the courage to just end it like I’m in a co dependant relationship ! DLPA I believe supposedly helps build endorphins I just started it so 🤔
What is DPLA ? I tried to look it up couldn't figure it out . And I totally get the detached feeling . I'm happy to hear you're down to 0.4 tho not alot of people could go that low ! It shows to me you're getting closer to jumping every day . But if you're not ready you're not ready . You will get there tho. I've been in theropy too she's helped me tho sooo much
Erika Legs it’s a supplement there’s a few videos on here about it. I think it’s helping somewhat . I don’t know, but this is a hard nut to crack ,and I’m so sick of it ! Thanks for your response I’m cheering for you from the land down under 🤗
@@erikalegs2583 I came off fentanyl and boy was that hard. I used suboxone for a week and got off that too, my cravings are gone... I feel so free. I am so ready to jump back into the world
You are the temple of the living God no building the worst thing about Christianity is other Christians 😩 I read the 1611 King James Bible and The Lord will lead you through his word which is truly supernatural I love psalms proverbs and it’s what helps me and I’ve quit pot cigarettes and toxic people in the last year after a thirty years of the crap just gotta beat this sub rubbish now which you have so awesome
I just jumped off Suboxone, 8-16mg/day, about 40-42 days ago. I quit pot in my early 20's... I'm in my late 30's now. I quit smoking cigarettes in January and I am quiting toxic people. I have to say, toxic people is probably the hardest thing I've ever quit. Right now I'm wondering "who isn't toxic?" Gotta get right with this detox before I quit everyone. lol
Oh my god man I swear if we knew each other in real life we would be besties😅😂 so crazy. I love art too painting and random other stuff. I love your healing rocks
Hey girl!!! Thank you for putting your journey out here so ppl like myself can watch. You are an amazing & strong person and don't you ever forget that!! 💕. I watched your journey so far and I feel like I know you now! Hahaha. I have been on subs for about 8 almost 9 years now (holy shit) and I'm so sick and fucking tired of it. However I have gotten off of it twice. One time I was off for 150ish days and then the next it was 180 days. I cold turkeyed it both times. The fist time I came off of it it was on a drop of a hat from 24mg a day. Then the second time a few years later was cold turkey from 16 mg. The only difference is that I'm on Subutex rather than Suboxone. I literally just jumped down from anywhere from around 8 to very rarely around 16mg (bc I had 2 surgeries in last 6 months) down to anywhere from 4-7mg daily now for last 1-1.5 months. I am just about to jump off again for another cold turkey detox bc this tapering shit is not for me it's too hard for me. Bc I have control. I only want to take 4mg a day but since I have control of it I sometimes take more than I want or need to. So anyhow. What always got me was the paws! But I have faith that now I'm down much lower and only been back on for about 1.5 years at a much lower dose I will do it and stay clean this time. I was hoping to connect with you but I couldn't find you on IG or FB. So let me know if you are open to texting. And I'll give you my cell phone number. I would love to connect with you 🦋. Stay strong. You can and will kick this this in the fucking ass!!!!
@@CaseyJayde 💜💜💜💜 I cant wait to watch !!! Thank you sooo soo much for the support! I'm soo happy for you that u went all the way from 24 to about 4 . I know over years and trial and error but still that's HUGE! I just made a insta today so you can contact mee erika_legs I'd love to talk more !
Erika Legs yas girl! Im actually so pumped to kick this. I know it's going to be a struggle but I need to hurry up and get it done with so I can get the paws over and start helping other women as well! I'll go look for ya on insta really quick
I feel like you are describing my state of mind and body.. I am 6months sober.. Still taking 0,5 xanax before bad so i can sleep. I have tappered xanax from 1mg.. It is so hard to tapper on seeping pills doing paws.. 😕 Do you have any advice?
Dude I am the same way with the morning thing!!!! If you can give an update if you’ve figured anything that helps! Something I’ve started to struggle with during the taper. I feel bad for anyone in my path when I first open my eyes lol cause I’m a demon. I’m always just so fucking MAD when I wake up like instant anger lol
Literally !! Dude I remember that so well . I fall asleep to a guided meditation every single night now and I think since then I haven't woke up Pissed in awhile 😅
I’d love to know if there’s anything that helps brain health. Physical withdrawals are HELL but then when the mental/emotional part hit, OMG!! I feel so demented. It’s awful. And, every day repeats itself, I’m so weary.. but I’m determined to push through although those dark thoughts of ending my life are so intense, it’s a moment by moment battle 😭😩
I know exactly !! The mental part is soo hard ! I'm on a quest to find things that help the brain right now . I did the chakras and that helped soo much! I started chakra yoga this week to see what that does 🙏🙌 i will deff let you know ! And if u find things that help let me know:) it's like we have to retrain our brains . But also learn our new selves ? It's so confused . But like you I am Determined to fight thru this 💪💪💪❤❤❤
Your anger could be hormones......i read that suboxone screws up all the glands... DHEA cream and adrenal support supplements and DLPA were recommended to me after sub detox
I am your twin brother. Share depression stories with me because my type is edgar Allan Poe dark... depression causes opiate abuse also. And many other drugs
All I know is, sounds like the one way you haven't tried, is the kratom. I can tell you girl, the chances of you getting addicted to kratom, cuz WE know what addiction is right?? Is very doubtful. In fact, for the times I cannot deal with my freak'n physical pain, it is my 1st choice since stopped pain pills. Also, helps my MOOD & MOTIVATION. Social life IMPROVES. In facr I gotta get off here & order mine, lol.
OH MY GOD I FEEL RHE EXACT SAME WAY. The last time I was sober I was 18 years old and I am now 26 but I still feel 18. It’s fuckin bizarre dude. I don’t think that’s depression. You have to be easier on yourself. It makes me feel really good that you feel that way too, honesty. Thought I was schizophrenic for a sec lol. I’m only at 143 days today so you’re way beyond me
Wow. I feel that way too. Like getting ready is enough. For sure. I take l-tyrosine 30 mins before I’ll be done getting ready so I have energy and enthusiasm to still go out. I don’t wake up mad but I wake up with my mind racing, almost like I’m in fight or flight mode. At first it used to happen for 3 hours every morning but since I’ve been exercising and eating right, I still wake up kinda racey for about 30 mins and then I feel just fine and ready to take on the day. But if I eat portly and don’t work out for more than two days in a row, here comes depression and waking up with zero energy.
raspbrry pie Hahaha yes girl!! I thought I was going crazy so many time ! I have been feeling better this week now that it's nice outside and I'm getting fresh air thank god! But yeah I relate with everything you're saying! What is I-tyrosin? And you're right about eating right and exercising I go back and forth and I deff feel it when I'm not good . That's funny you say that about the stones. I've been trying to be better in front of the camera I feel like that comment helped me so thank you!! Most importantly congratulations on 143 day !!!! That's HUGE 💪💪💪💪💜💜💜
I was sooo different before drugs idek how to explain it. I prolly had some stuff but I was consumeddd work gym and school I never let myself think to much. I think they would have came out but I used drugs to numb if that makes sense
You give me so much damn hope!!!! It’s getting closer to my days to stop. I’m tapering a lot right now so I already kinda feeel like shit. But I keep having these feelings of doom. Like I won’t be able to make it. Watching your videos seriously help me realize it’s NOT IMPOSSIBLE like everyone wants you to think. Ugh
Love that ! I am soo glad I made these videos because I had no clue it was possible 🤗🥳🙏
Girl, this is your journey, and I applaud your honesty. I went through this many years ago, and it’s normal. I got back on Suboxone a few years ago which I am so regretting now. Just keep pushing. It’s a roller coaster ride for sure.
thank you so much ! how long did u detox for before you went back on if you don't mind me asking
Erika Legs I spent 5 years off of it before going back on. Honestly, the PAWS came and went for about 18 months the first time. This second time I can’t seem to get past 9 days.i got my dose down very low this past fall and winter, and felt good until the anxiety and depression kicked in and scared me. Just knowing what I experienced before makes me not want to jump. The first time, I felt great at 90 days off of it. I still didn’t have all my energy back, but I was so happy! Then 6 months came and everything came crashing down. That’s when Paws set in for me. Went from 6 to 8 months in a terrible depression, then it lifted for a while, then came back. But honestly, I would almost rather deal with the Paws than feel like this. Suboxone has made me very angry and negative. I have no drive to do anything. I used to care about other people, but now I can’t see anything beyond myself. I have no curiosity to life anymore and am only somewhat happy if I am alone, away from other people. I can see such a difference in you since you came off it, it’s amazing. You have your spirit back!
@@HalfwayJac I seriously could have written the same paragraph ! I love that you shared that paws took 18 months and you got thru all of that once ! dude that is so rare
Erika Legs your response made my day! Thank you so much. I wish I would have just jumped those months ago when the dose was really low. I have realized that suffering is inevitable in life. I have suffered more in this last year than any other year and I have just remained the same. If I would have jumped off, I would be suffering with PAWS right now, but at least I would be on my way to feeling better. I have dealt with so much depression and anxiety in my life, that even when I get a little bit depressed, I freak out and will do anything to get rid of the feeling. But man, being on this still is making me not be able to recognize myself anymore. I do remember the first year coming off it being very, very hard staying sober, however, I was so much more excited about life, and excited to figure out who I was. I just seem to dread everything these days. Also, I am really sensitive to noise on Suboxone. Today people are mowing their lawns and it makes me anxiety ridden. It’s the weirdest thing ever. I am kicking myself for ever going back on it.
God! I can relate. You are NOT alone! Mornings are the beginning of a new day. Alllll day long. Without enough support, it is soooo hard! I feel you don't have enough. I KNOW we both need brain scans to see where our blood flow is lacking & otherwise. I am very leary of ant-depressants. I know it can help some from suicide, but the side affects nah!!! Can cause more harm than good & by then, you lost your job, car, home. I was certified in Nutrition years ago, I know certain foods can help, & certain foods can make your condition worse. Sometimes coffee with weed even, can cause anxiety!!!
Your a real AMAZONIAN WARRIOR
As the spiritual journey knows no bounds, mucho respecto
THANK YOU
Omg, I feel the same way.. thanks for sharing & your transparency!
Just found this. I feel terrible today… and lately. Made myself go for a walk but, I am so tired and yes, depressed.
I feel a weird detached feeling that’s hard to describe ! I’m still on 0.4 but I’ve been low for over 18 months it’s hard stay the course you have done fantastic I still lack the courage to just end it like I’m in a co dependant relationship ! DLPA I believe supposedly helps build endorphins I just started it so 🤔
What is DPLA ? I tried to look it up couldn't figure it out . And I totally get the detached feeling . I'm happy to hear you're down to 0.4 tho not alot of people could go that low ! It shows to me you're getting closer to jumping every day . But if you're not ready you're not ready . You will get there tho. I've been in theropy too she's helped me tho sooo much
Erika Legs it’s a supplement there’s a few videos on here about it. I think it’s helping somewhat . I don’t know, but this is a hard nut to crack ,and I’m so sick of it ! Thanks for your response I’m cheering for you from the land down under 🤗
@@erikalegs2583 you typed it wrong that may have been why you didn't find it. Cutie lollll
@@SAMEntalhealth haha you're so right !! Tyy
@@erikalegs2583 I came off fentanyl and boy was that hard. I used suboxone for a week and got off that too, my cravings are gone... I feel so free. I am so ready to jump back into the world
You are the temple of the living God no building the worst thing about Christianity is other Christians 😩 I read the 1611 King James Bible and The Lord will lead you through his word which is truly supernatural I love psalms proverbs and it’s what helps me and I’ve quit pot cigarettes and toxic people in the last year after a thirty years of the crap just gotta beat this sub rubbish now which you have so awesome
I just jumped off Suboxone, 8-16mg/day, about 40-42 days ago. I quit pot in my early 20's... I'm in my late 30's now. I quit smoking cigarettes in January and I am quiting toxic people. I have to say, toxic people is probably the hardest thing I've ever quit. Right now I'm wondering "who isn't toxic?" Gotta get right with this detox before I quit everyone. lol
Love ur videos! I’m on day 18, dropped off at 8mgs. Woooo. Crazy. Hanging in there but some days are HARDDD
Oh my god man I swear if we knew each other in real life we would be besties😅😂 so crazy. I love art too painting and random other stuff. I love your healing rocks
You're the best !!! Haha thank you so much !! 💜💜💜
Hey girl!!! Thank you for putting your journey out here so ppl like myself can watch. You are an amazing & strong person and don't you ever forget that!! 💕. I watched your journey so far and I feel like I know you now! Hahaha. I have been on subs for about 8 almost 9 years now (holy shit) and I'm so sick and fucking tired of it. However I have gotten off of it twice. One time I was off for 150ish days and then the next it was 180 days. I cold turkeyed it both times. The fist time I came off of it it was on a drop of a hat from 24mg a day. Then the second time a few years later was cold turkey from 16 mg. The only difference is that I'm on Subutex rather than Suboxone. I literally just jumped down from anywhere from around 8 to very rarely around 16mg (bc I had 2 surgeries in last 6 months) down to anywhere from 4-7mg daily now for last 1-1.5 months. I am just about to jump off again for another cold turkey detox bc this tapering shit is not for me it's too hard for me. Bc I have control. I only want to take 4mg a day but since I have control of it I sometimes take more than I want or need to. So anyhow. What always got me was the paws! But I have faith that now I'm down much lower and only been back on for about 1.5 years at a much lower dose I will do it and stay clean this time. I was hoping to connect with you but I couldn't find you on IG or FB. So let me know if you are open to texting. And I'll give you my cell phone number. I would love to connect with you 🦋. Stay strong. You can and will kick this this in the fucking ass!!!!
PS. I'm also putting my journey on here too. It's crazy how much we have in common.
@@CaseyJayde 💜💜💜💜 I cant wait to watch !!! Thank you sooo soo much for the support! I'm soo happy for you that u went all the way from 24 to about 4 . I know over years and trial and error but still that's HUGE! I just made a insta today so you can contact mee erika_legs I'd love to talk more !
Erika Legs yas girl! Im actually so pumped to kick this. I know it's going to be a struggle but I need to hurry up and get it done with so I can get the paws over and start helping other women as well! I'll go look for ya on insta really quick
Be honest sweetheart. I'm so glad that ur better today.
Thank you !!!:)))
@@erikalegs2583 🙌🏾❤☮
Lmao...you better have showered! That's definitely against all rules not to shower! 👌😂
That's how I feel on subs...dont want to anything or be around anyone
I feel like you are describing my state of mind and body.. I am 6months sober..
Still taking 0,5 xanax before bad so i can sleep. I have tappered xanax from 1mg.. It is so hard to tapper on seeping pills doing paws.. 😕
Do you have any advice?
Dude I am the same way with the morning thing!!!! If you can give an update if you’ve figured anything that helps! Something I’ve started to struggle with during the taper. I feel bad for anyone in my path when I first open my eyes lol cause I’m a demon. I’m always just so fucking MAD when I wake up like instant anger lol
Literally !! Dude I remember that so well . I fall asleep to a guided meditation every single night now and I think since then I haven't woke up Pissed in awhile 😅
Id type in RUclips "guided meditation to wake up happy" lmaoo it may help!
I’d love to know if there’s anything that helps brain health. Physical withdrawals are HELL but then when the mental/emotional part hit, OMG!! I feel so demented. It’s awful. And, every day repeats itself, I’m so weary.. but I’m determined to push through although those dark thoughts of ending my life are so intense, it’s a moment by moment battle 😭😩
I know exactly !! The mental part is soo hard ! I'm on a quest to find things that help the brain right now . I did the chakras and that helped soo much! I started chakra yoga this week to see what that does 🙏🙌 i will deff let you know ! And if u find things that help let me know:) it's like we have to retrain our brains . But also learn our new selves ? It's so confused . But like you I am Determined to fight thru this 💪💪💪❤❤❤
Your anger could be hormones......i read that suboxone screws up all the glands... DHEA cream and adrenal support supplements and DLPA were recommended to me after sub detox
love ur channel
Thanks girl ! ❤
I am your twin brother. Share depression stories with me because my type is edgar Allan Poe dark... depression causes opiate abuse also. And many other drugs
I so relate with you on this video, donna wanna do shit.
I’m on 2 months and I’m in the same BOAT
congrats on 2 months !! We got this everything comes in stages!! :)
Erika Legs absolutely ❤️❤️
☺️😁
All I know is, sounds like the one way you haven't tried, is the kratom. I can tell you girl, the chances of you getting addicted to kratom, cuz WE know what addiction is right?? Is very doubtful. In fact, for the times I cannot deal with my freak'n physical pain, it is my 1st choice since stopped pain pills. Also, helps my MOOD & MOTIVATION. Social life IMPROVES. In facr I gotta get off here & order mine, lol.
Keaton is very addictive
I need a better brand of kratom because it got rid of the physical withdrawal from subs but really no motivation or help with depression
OH MY GOD I FEEL RHE EXACT SAME WAY. The last time I was sober I was 18 years old and I am now 26 but I still feel 18. It’s fuckin bizarre dude. I don’t think that’s depression. You have to be easier on yourself. It makes me feel really good that you feel that way too, honesty. Thought I was schizophrenic for a sec lol. I’m only at 143 days today so you’re way beyond me
Wow. I feel that way too. Like getting ready is enough. For sure. I take l-tyrosine 30 mins before I’ll be done getting ready so I have energy and enthusiasm to still go out. I don’t wake up mad but I wake up with my mind racing, almost like I’m in fight or flight mode. At first it used to happen for 3 hours every morning but since I’ve been exercising and eating right, I still wake up kinda racey for about 30 mins and then I feel just fine and ready to take on the day. But if I eat portly and don’t work out for more than two days in a row, here comes depression and waking up with zero energy.
It’s nice to see your enthusiasm about your stones. You’re still in there :)
raspbrry pie Hahaha yes girl!! I thought I was going crazy so many time ! I have been feeling better this week now that it's nice outside and I'm getting fresh air thank god! But yeah I relate with everything you're saying! What is I-tyrosin? And you're right about eating right and exercising I go back and forth and I deff feel it when I'm not good . That's funny you say that about the stones. I've been trying to be better in front of the camera I feel like that comment helped me so thank you!! Most importantly congratulations on 143 day !!!! That's HUGE 💪💪💪💪💜💜💜
Did you have those feelings before you ever got on drugs or is this new to you completely?
I was sooo different before drugs idek how to explain it. I prolly had some stuff but I was consumeddd work gym and school I never let myself think to much. I think they would have came out but I used drugs to numb if that makes sense
How about you ??