I had a son with anencephaly, he was 5 months when it was discovered. I named him Richard and he now has 3 sisters and 4 nieces and 4 nephews. That was 35 years ago now and I still celebrate his birthday on April 13th. Sounds morbid but he was very much wanted and loved. It's hard to let go sometimes.
Not morbid at all! Just because you lost a baby, whether just after birth or in utero doesn't mean that baby stop being family. He is your family. Keep him close because you and possibly his father (don't know the circumstances there) are the only people who will keep his memory alive!
It’s a best kept secret. People are so uncomfortable talking about it. Having gone through this loss, I joined Neo-Fight and became a listener. I was proud to be on a panel where doctors and nurses could hear our stories and ask how they could better serve others who experienced neo-natal losses. My neighbor came by after I got home and broke down crying upon hearing the news as she also lost a baby. Besides it being such a secret, I found no one loss is greater than the other. One may only hear their child cry once, another may never hear their child’s voice. No one loss is worse than another.
I was a heart recipient, the man whose heart I have was 16... same age I was. For twenty years, I lived my life for two individuals and have a third family whose son gave me this gift. I sometimes wonder what type of person my donor would have become, how many kids they would have had, would they even have had a family at our age? All I know is, his family became a large part of my life and they tell me how much I remind them of their son. I know I can't replace him, but we helped heal each other, and it started with a mom wanting to hear her son's heart and a father asking me to live for the both of us. Thank you Robert for your gift, I promise to live for us both. 😢
I had a wee one with anencephaly, this was forty years ago so it was not picked up before birth. I also had a stillbirth. Then my beautiful two year old was lost to cancer. I now have four adult children but those lost wee ones are always in my mind. As my children reached various milestones, I would wonder what the others would have been like, what they would look like or achieve. Not in an overwhelming or depressive way but eventually as calm acceptance. Being a mother is an incredible gift, one which I will appreciate and celebrate for the rest of my life.
So I’ve recently lost my first baby. And I’m just coming to the realization that she will forever be continually on my mind. I thought having another child eventually would ease this but it sounds like it doesn’t. Do you have any words of wisdom for someone who is new to this level of grief and loss? Tbh I’m looking for some kind of hope that it gets easier.
@@cameronhall4 I am so sorry for your loss. A mother doesn't stop being a mother because she lost a child. I lost a pregnancy before finding out if it was a boy or girl. While that pain and "what if" never completely goes away, I have made peace with it. I have two young children now and I feel as if this is the way it was supposed to be (for me).
You've said it beautifully. I feel the same way. Mine wldve been 11 yrs old by now. There's always a void unfilled. I look forward to seeing her/him someday.
I remember watching Christopher's birth and seeing Amy's pain, it was such an impactful episode ❤ for reals if you love grey's do yourself a favor and watch private practice
@@phoenixreborn6194 Private Practice. The story is heartbreaking... Like it's worse than just losing Christopher.... Amelia found out she was pregnant by her late fiance Ryan, who died of an overdose, while Amelia was asleep on his chest. And she didn't know she was pregnant until after he died. So not only did she lose the love of her life, she lost the last thing he left of him on this earth. It was soooo flipping sad. Caterina plays Amelia beautifully, but that particular storyline she nailed it. I swear she doesn't get enough credit for how much of a powerhouse actress she is. Imo probably the best on both Private Practice and Grey's. And I'm probably gonna be hated beyond belief for this but..... I think she's 100% better than Ellen Pompeo. Sorry not sorry lmao 😂
A reminder than even those who we know will never make it have such an impact. My niece lived for 3 weeks and was an organ donor, the best thing that happened from that tragedy is that she saved so many lives. She has a metal attached to her gravestone showing just how important her little life was in that short 3 weeks.
Jesus that story kinda broke my heart. I had a brother who died very young. His name was Paul. His death affected my mom so bad she threw herself on his tiny casket as they lowered it into the ground, and years later I found a suicide note she had started (but thankfully didn't finish) in the family bible. I think about Paul all the time, but I'll see him again one day.
You’ll meet him someday. I lost a sister before she was born. I miss her even though I didn’t meet her.. I’m glad your mother never got to finish that note. My mom wasn’t the same and never will be after losing a baby ❤
So Ida stillborn son but he was born fast enough that they were able to keep his heart going and I got to hold him for a couple hours because of that but it was basically so he could be an organ donor and so I could hold him while he was somewhat living and I'm really glad because the heart ended up being really in good condition despite the fact that he'd been born stillborn there were other parts of him that were used but I know his heart was and the baby that was born is now in his twenties and he was five months old when my son died and ended up getting the heart. Anyway it's end up saving his life and now that kid has a penpal relationship with me and I've never gotten to meet them in person but even the parents sent me letters in Christmas cards every year and stuff like that so honestly it's one of the best things that I ever did was allow my son to be parsed out to save other children's lives. I'm really glad I did it I'm sad that I lost my son but at least something good came out of it
This was a beautiful read. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm so glad you had that time with your son and he was able to help other babies have the chance he sadly didn't.
What you did, the level of empathy and altruism in one of the most, if not the most heart breaking moments of your own life...Your story has me in bittersweet tears and renewed faith in humanity. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable and beautiful story 😢♥️♥️!
As someone who's lost a son I found this to be deeply touching. It takes a lot of control to be able to speak in a matter of fact fashion about something so very painful. I realize she's an actor in a scene but she portrayed this perfectly.
I lost 10 kids to miscarriage, the last one about 20 years ago. People seem to think that because they didn't live long enough for my belly to get big, that I should be able to think of them as just medical conditions, like illnesses I recovered from instead of people who died. I've never been able to talk to anyone about it because nobody understands why it would continue to bother me after I've healed physically. I'm almost 60, have 4 kids and 5 grandkids and it still bothers me. I still wonder who they could have grown up to be and I still cry when I think of them.
That's what I was thinking. Her performance is really natural. If I didn't know better, I'd think she really had this baby and is explaining what happened with him.
@@the5ofme I lost three babies, also miscarried before twenty weeks, and I still think about them. It’s been 28, 28 and 26 years ago. They were people who I didn’t get to meet but still very much existed. I was lucky enough to raise 3 children but I always say that I have 6 kids when I am asked about kids. I got to mother 3 in person but I always say that I have/ had 6. Everyone grieves differently and no one should criticize your journey, even if they are walking beside you. My ex-husband refused to acknowledge our losses and that really hurt, particularly when I was really struggling to find any happiness during the time when I thought that my body was betraying me. I hope you had support then and I just wanted you to know that I had a journey like yours and that grief isn’t wrong, even though you did go on to have children earth side. All of your children should matter to the world because they matter to you. All the best, -j
My oldest brother was a stillborn. I still regularly think about how different my life could be if I had another brother and what he could’ve possibly been like
Chris's heart beats in the body of a baby whose family lost hope. It's beautiful to be able to help others even though it breaks your heart. Babies like Chris live on through the lives they saved.
I lost my only baby. We had papers signed for them to save him over me. God had other plans. Then I also guess I didn't know his plan for me to become a widow at a young age also after only 13 years of marriage. I am now 43 years old, but God surprised me and showed me his plans. I am currently pregnant, and have a loving man by my side. Now whether I get to keep this child, and whether I get to keep this man is up to God, but here's to hoping to keep both of them with me Lord. I pray that God's plan is that he gets to welcome both of them home, but way way way way later on.
How can you believe in a god that allows babies to die ,by your own words you think he plays a part so in that case you must believe he choose to end a child's life before it even began. It's not God, there's no magical being deciding who lives and dies and honestly if there was I wouldn't be praising them lol they would be a narcissistic and evil for what they do/allow and expect in return. You can't truly believe God allowed your child and husband to die for some greater plan.?
You are a blessing. It was due to my donor 8 years ago that that I have been able to know my grandchildren. I signed up to be a donor many years ago, and my sentiments are the same as yours. You are a blessing. 😍
It was the ep she is talking about that made me decide if I ever have a similar issue and I can do the same I will. If my loss can save others from the same pain then I will help. If my baby can save others and part of them can live on then that makes the loss for me just a little easier to handle.
I was a RN for a very long-time This is a tv show but this discussion is so kind and gentle . Such a horrible decision for parents to have to make. Organ donation is needed to save so many tiny lives.
When I had a baby with the same birth defect 38 years ago, they would not take any organ donations. I am glad they are finally letting those little souls help someone while they are on this Earth. Her name was Heaven.
I know this isn't real, but I still admire how collected she is. Personally, I still cry about my mothers late horse 15 years after he passed... He literally held me when I learned to walk and generally was a really smart guy and I was raised to think of animals as equals so to 8 year old me it felt like loosing a big brother.. I'm even tearing up thinking about him now. My biggest respect goes out to people who can talk about loss without getting emotional
I lost my daughter to SIDS almost 8 years ago. I still think about her. It took me 6 years to have another baby but even that wasn't planned. The first year of his life was hell because I was so scared I was gonna lose him. That trauma of losing your child under any circumstance is unforgettable.
Mines a different story, when I was diagnosed with cancer, I would see the babies , young people with cancer and my heart would break for them and I'd silently pray for them to get better
So many lives can be saved with the gift of organ donation. I implore anyone who finds themselves in this situation to grant LIFE to another if donation is possible! Communicate your desire to be a donor with your immediate family. Donors and their families are HEROS!
I don’t know either. But I do know God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. It may not seem that way at the time. But I’ve learned it is true. It’s hard, but true.
When my daughter was born we were devastated to find out that she was going to need open heart surgery as she was born with a hole in her heart. We were terrified but then we found out the baby in NICU next to her was born with only half a heart and was waiting for a doner. As bad as the experience was we now know it could always be worse. My daughter is 7 and still has health issues but we have learned to be happy with what we do have, life is precious it's sometimes easy to forget that.
My ex and I lost a child a few years back. She took seizure meds that simulated her monthly visitor and suppressed the hormones needed for fetal development. The doctors didnt catch the pregnancy in time and we lost the baby. I sometimes think of that little life and it makes me cry knowing I wont be their dad.
My aunt carried her son knowing he would not survive outside of the womb due to trisomy 18 deformities and she still carried him until he died inside of her. It’s just so so sad.
This made me burst in tears… My youngest son passed away last year when he was only 5 months old.. they told me SIDS but I’ll never get over the fact he was so healthy and then I go to work and come racing home to be told my son didn’t make it.. I think about him everyday and his smile, wondering who he’d grow up to be with his big brother.. I had so many dreams of him growing up.. and now I’ll never know who the beautiful boy I gave birth to would’ve been..
My niece was born with anencephaly. She started having seizures in the womb. When she was born a month later (induction didnt work) she lived for 45 minutes. She was (is) so beautiful
My mom had a daughter, my older sister Rebecca, with this. She gave birth around 6 months, all alone as the dad left her when he found out. She was my mom's only child with red hair like her and she talks about her a lot. It's so sad.
My parents firstborn was born with a type of 'cancer' that had never been seen before. My mother told me that they actually wrote a research paper on her and the treatments and surgery they tried to save her; but the cancer had spread to both kidneys and there was nothing they could do to save her. She was BORN with what is now called a Wilms Tumor..a malignant cancer of the kidneys Even today it is very rare and affects mostly young children, now it is treatable. But my sister was born in 1948--when cancer of any type basically ended in death. She was a very beautiful little girl who died in 1951, when my mother was in her third trimester with my oldest brother. It really broke her, she never really healed from her death....There were 6 of us born in the 8 years following her death.
Broken my hearth to listen to this woman saying she donate the organs of his son cuz since she’s a doctor. She knew there’s no way to save him. Probably the only way another woman with the same condition. Know what’s the best. Even when it hurts so much. This scene probably could win an Oscar. Such a delicate teme. lossing a loved one.
Since I went through having a daughter with the same birth defect I was pleased they chose that storyline. I was induced with my daughter. I was told with this type of pregnancy the birth can go beyond 9 months. The pressure on the head isn't always there to promote self-labor.
I had a friend who was a baby got a donated organ as well, well years later he wanted to learn about the person and found the family, he request to speak to them as it seem it was a Lung, what he wanted to do was to get a tattoo of thier child where the lung would be
So having another baby won’t help me move on from losing my first. Suddenly that makes sense and suddenly I realize I will never finally feel any less sad.
You will feel less sad eventually. It happens so gradually sometimes that you don’t even notice. The biggest hurdle is when you realize you feel less sad, being okay with it. It’s okay to start feeling better, more normal, and “move on”. Don’t beat yourself up on those days for not grieving. You are meant to feel better eventually.
my mother's last pregnancy was termed an anencephalic monster (1950's) pre-Roe. She had no choice but to carry it to full term, and nearly died as a result. Daddy, 2 months later, committed suicide.
Who watched Private Practice knew Amelia's younger version, she had such an amazing character development, she went through so much hard stuff (most of them had also). I adore her so much
I’ve never watched greys anatomy but I did watch private practice. Seeing that Amelia really grew and got passed everything she did and now holds enough strength to talk about it is really beautiful. My heart broke for her. It may have been my teenage hormones but I did a lot of crying for Amelia.
I love Amelia. But damn. I also feel bad for her. Because she has had a lot of bad shit happen to her in her life. I'm glad that she still ended up happy though. ❤️
My former MIL lost twins due to the damage the OB did with forceps because he was late to a party. She and her husband didn't sue the doctor, but that loss changed her forever. Unfortunately it was before the prevalence of successful organ donations.
Our oldest was born when we were young. Didn't know we were expecting until way late. She never showed any sign of pregnancy. Thought it was flu but was almost 6 months along. Unfortunately, baby Jeremy only lived for 3 days. I never got to meet my baby boy. None of his organs were fully developed or even developed enough to sustain him for any kind of surgery. Sadly, we will never know who he would've been or how he'd have been as a big brother for our other boy, born 4 years later. It's a void that gets easier to carry but, it never truly heals.
I had a granddaughter who passed from SIDs. Her kidneys went to a man in his 20s and her cartilage in knee for tests. And eyes to someone, im not sure who. I think of her everyday. She had an older brother and now a baby brother. I wish she was here giving them both a hard time.
My twin sister passed when we were just over 1 year and 7 months. She needed several organ transplants, but by the last few months the dr's said even if she got perfect matches for everything she needed she still likely wouldnt have survived bc she was so weak. We were born 10 weeks and 1 day early, but she was a lot more underdeveloped than I was despite having a higher birth weight. I'm in my early twenties now, and I still wonder what my sister would've looked like what her personality would have been, what things she would've liked to do, and how my childhood would've been different if she had lived. My earliest memory is when I was about to turn 3 years old, much too late to remember her. As a gift for my parents, I want to pay for one of those professional companies that age up babies photographs to see what they'd look like at different ages like how they age up photos of missing kids. I'm not sure if it would hurt more than help with my parents grief, and I might pay for it myself when I save up enough, just out of my own curiosity and keep it to myself
I have never seen a doctor try to influence an organ donor decision. That’s what the transplant coordinator is for. It could be a huge conflict of interest, and at the very least people want to see that their doctors do absolutely everything they can for their loved one and feel that, however briefly, the doctor supports them in their grief.
I didn't realize that babies like that could be donors. I always thought I would terminate if my baby was diagnosed without a brain. As it would probably be the most humane thing for the baby, myself, and my husband. But if there is actually hope that carrying to term might save up to five lives, I might not have my baby alive in my arms, but five parents would have theirs and a spark from mine that my baby would not otherwise have.
I've always thought that parents should have to opt in or out of organ donation for a child when the birth certificate is signed, and adults at every ID document renewal/application. People are not thinking right when someone is dying. Opting out would also mean you would not be eligible to receive an organ if you needed one (either you get to be OK with it or not). I was speaking about this with a woman who'd lost a child long ago, before organ donation was a thing. She said that had she been asked in the hospital that she'd never have given permission to take parts from her baby, but would have signed up had she been asked when in her right mind. Decades later, she wished it had been an option back then and taken out of her hands because in her words 'then it would feel like part of him was alive somewhere - but instead he's just gone'.
As a healthcare work I completely disagree with this. I would never donate my organs, unless it’s to my son… I do not believe that you shouldn’t be allowed to receive if you can’t donate. Some of the people that receive will never be candidates to donate. Religious beliefs also play a role in the decision. I respect anyone’s decision to donate or not to donate because it is in fact thier body and if they chose to take thier own organs with them, that is thier choice. Organ donation is also extremely specific, you don’t just match because of it’s same blood type. If someone chooses to donate yes they can save so many lives but honestly it’s a choice that shouldn’t be pushed with the fear of never getting one if it is ever needed. Again, I would never donate or allow my child to be an organ donor. However, whom ever chooses to do so are amazing heros! The need for organ donation is needed but shouldn’t be pressure by society to do it. It should come from someone that really wants to use thier body to help others.
@@Kaydeleon I never said CAN'T donate. At the point where most people fill these forms nobody would know whether donation would be an option IF something happened to them. When it did happen, it would just mean that the conversation would already have happened and the decision made. You say you'd never donate or let your child donate, that just means that you'd get to tick the 'no, I don't agree with organ donation' box. If either of you died or became terminal, you'd never be asked for organs. If you or your child ever got diagnosed with something and needed an organ, you'd simply never be added to the list - someone who'd been theoretically willing to donate their own organs (when they'd made this decision back when they were healthy) would get the next free organ. You say that there should never be 'pressure by society to do it' - I disagree with this. You're OK with the idea that if you lost your child, so does someone else. Some organs can only be used for children if they come from children - but not donating is worth someone losing their child, for you. That's fine - but the parent's who don't lose theirs when the next organ comes up should to be ones who don't think like that. Why shouldn't your actions and choices dictate how you're treated? Some people WILL die because of lack of organs. Let it be the people who either don't agree with organ donation at all - or those who ticked 'no' to avoid giving their own organs had they been on the other end of the situation. " I would never donate my organs, unless it’s to my son… I do not believe that you shouldn’t be allowed to receive if you can’t donate." -Of course you don't. Being treated as you see fit to treat others in this case would not turn out well for you. You wan't to be all take and no give, and - shocker - don't like the idea of a system that removes this option for you.
I get what you’re saying. But I know two people in the “organ harvesting business” and they both took themselves off as organ donors and begged their loved ones to do the same. They literally making money off of harvesting organs and the families get nothing in return. Not even gratitude. It’s bad. They’re even disrespectful with the bodies. It’s not right.
It's not that it doesn't develop typically. It doesn't develop. You have a brain stem and that's about it. You can't experience consciousness. You can withdraw from noxious stimuli, but you don't experience the fear and anxiety and despair of being in pain.
I had a son with anencephaly, he was 5 months when it was discovered. I named him Richard and he now has 3 sisters and 4 nieces and 4 nephews. That was 35 years ago now and I still celebrate his birthday on April 13th.
Sounds morbid but he was very much wanted and loved. It's hard to let go sometimes.
Don't ever stop celebrating Richard's birthday!! Richard's deserves his special day each year and sooooo do you he will always be your baby💙
It is morbid, but that doesn't make it any less beautiful. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even the painful stuff.
I’m sorry for loss. May his memory always be remembered with love and happiness that he did spend some time on this earth.
Not morbid at all! Just because you lost a baby, whether just after birth or in utero doesn't mean that baby stop being family. He is your family. Keep him close because you and possibly his father (don't know the circumstances there) are the only people who will keep his memory alive!
The fact that you still celebrate means he will forever live as a memory, the worst thing would be to be forgotten. 🤗
This needs to be talked about openly more ... It is hard to lose babies at any age..
Yes.
Exactly
I agree!!
It’s a best kept secret. People are so uncomfortable talking about it. Having gone through this loss, I joined Neo-Fight and became a listener. I was proud to be on a panel where doctors and nurses could hear our stories and ask how they could better serve others who experienced neo-natal losses. My neighbor came by after I got home and broke down crying upon hearing the news as she also lost a baby. Besides it being such a secret, I found no one loss is greater than the other. One may only hear their child cry once, another may never hear their child’s voice. No one loss is worse than another.
I lost my baby when she was born premature at 26 weeks in 84 you never ever forget 😢💔
If you never watched Private Practice. This was a great storyline for Amelia's growth as a character. Plus the show had some amazing storylines.
Spinoff from Greys anatomy
I liked it better than Grey’s
@ninthusiva7546 you sure about that?
Not me sobbing remembering her having that baby! Private Practice was so good
@@Lilith6.6 yes it was a spinoff of Grey's.
I was a heart recipient, the man whose heart I have was 16... same age I was. For twenty years, I lived my life for two individuals and have a third family whose son gave me this gift. I sometimes wonder what type of person my donor would have become, how many kids they would have had, would they even have had a family at our age? All I know is, his family became a large part of my life and they tell me how much I remind them of their son. I know I can't replace him, but we helped heal each other, and it started with a mom wanting to hear her son's heart and a father asking me to live for the both of us.
Thank you Robert for your gift, I promise to live for us both. 😢
I had a wee one with anencephaly, this was forty years ago so it was not picked up before birth. I also had a stillbirth. Then my beautiful two year old was lost to cancer. I now have four adult children but those lost wee ones are always in my mind.
As my children reached various milestones, I would wonder what the others would have been like, what they would look like or achieve. Not in an overwhelming or depressive way but eventually as calm acceptance. Being a mother is an incredible gift, one which I will appreciate and celebrate for the rest of my life.
So I’ve recently lost my first baby. And I’m just coming to the realization that she will forever be continually on my mind. I thought having another child eventually would ease this but it sounds like it doesn’t. Do you have any words of wisdom for someone who is new to this level of grief and loss? Tbh I’m looking for some kind of hope that it gets easier.
❤
@@cameronhall4 I am so sorry for your loss. A mother doesn't stop being a mother because she lost a child. I lost a pregnancy before finding out if it was a boy or girl. While that pain and "what if" never completely goes away, I have made peace with it. I have two young children now and I feel as if this is the way it was supposed to be (for me).
@@jenerin905 ❤️
You've said it beautifully. I feel the same way. Mine wldve been 11 yrs old by now. There's always a void unfilled. I look forward to seeing her/him someday.
I remember watching Christopher's birth and seeing Amy's pain, it was such an impactful episode ❤ for reals if you love grey's do yourself a favor and watch private practice
That scene broke me. I was in tears. I don't think I would have been as strong as Amelia was
yesss, it was too much for me to watch :((( caterina was so great during that dtoryline
What episode is this?
@@chiaracelli in PP or GA? PP it was season 5, last episode maybe. in GA the latest one
@@phoenixreborn6194 Private Practice. The story is heartbreaking... Like it's worse than just losing Christopher.... Amelia found out she was pregnant by her late fiance Ryan, who died of an overdose, while Amelia was asleep on his chest. And she didn't know she was pregnant until after he died. So not only did she lose the love of her life, she lost the last thing he left of him on this earth. It was soooo flipping sad. Caterina plays Amelia beautifully, but that particular storyline she nailed it. I swear she doesn't get enough credit for how much of a powerhouse actress she is. Imo probably the best on both Private Practice and Grey's.
And I'm probably gonna be hated beyond belief for this but..... I think she's 100% better than Ellen Pompeo. Sorry not sorry lmao 😂
A reminder than even those who we know will never make it have such an impact. My niece lived for 3 weeks and was an organ donor, the best thing that happened from that tragedy is that she saved so many lives. She has a metal attached to her gravestone showing just how important her little life was in that short 3 weeks.
Jesus that story kinda broke my heart.
I had a brother who died very young. His name was Paul. His death affected my mom so bad she threw herself on his tiny casket as they lowered it into the ground, and years later I found a suicide note she had started (but thankfully didn't finish) in the family bible.
I think about Paul all the time, but I'll see him again one day.
You’ll meet him someday. I lost a sister before she was born. I miss her even though I didn’t meet her.. I’m glad your mother never got to finish that note. My mom wasn’t the same and never will be after losing a baby ❤
Oh that's heartbreaking! Your poor mom!
Paul > Jesus
And he will be whole.
So Ida stillborn son but he was born fast enough that they were able to keep his heart going and I got to hold him for a couple hours because of that but it was basically so he could be an organ donor and so I could hold him while he was somewhat living and I'm really glad because the heart ended up being really in good condition despite the fact that he'd been born stillborn there were other parts of him that were used but I know his heart was and the baby that was born is now in his twenties and he was five months old when my son died and ended up getting the heart. Anyway it's end up saving his life and now that kid has a penpal relationship with me and I've never gotten to meet them in person but even the parents sent me letters in Christmas cards every year and stuff like that so honestly it's one of the best things that I ever did was allow my son to be parsed out to save other children's lives. I'm really glad I did it I'm sad that I lost my son but at least something good came out of it
thank you,mama.
This was a beautiful read. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm so glad you had that time with your son and he was able to help other babies have the chance he sadly didn't.
You are incredibly strong and you and your baby are heroes !
Thank you for sharing your story
What a touching story. Your son still lives. Inside that other boy and in all the lives he touched.
What you did, the level of empathy and altruism in one of the most, if not the most heart breaking moments of your own life...Your story has me in bittersweet tears and renewed faith in humanity. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable and beautiful story 😢♥️♥️!
As someone who's lost a son I found this to be deeply touching. It takes a lot of control to be able to speak in a matter of fact fashion about something so very painful. I realize she's an actor in a scene but she portrayed this perfectly.
I lost 10 kids to miscarriage, the last one about 20 years ago. People seem to think that because they didn't live long enough for my belly to get big, that I should be able to think of them as just medical conditions, like illnesses I recovered from instead of people who died. I've never been able to talk to anyone about it because nobody understands why it would continue to bother me after I've healed physically. I'm almost 60, have 4 kids and 5 grandkids and it still bothers me. I still wonder who they could have grown up to be and I still cry when I think of them.
That's what I was thinking. Her performance is really natural. If I didn't know better, I'd think she really had this baby and is explaining what happened with him.
@@the5ofme I lost three babies, also miscarried before twenty weeks, and I still think about them. It’s been 28, 28 and 26 years ago. They were people who I didn’t get to meet but still very much existed. I was lucky enough to raise 3 children but I always say that I have 6 kids when I am asked about kids. I got to mother 3 in person but I always say that I have/ had 6. Everyone grieves differently and no one should criticize your journey, even if they are walking beside you. My ex-husband refused to acknowledge our losses and that really hurt, particularly when I was really struggling to find any happiness during the time when I thought that my body was betraying me. I hope you had support then and I just wanted you to know that I had a journey like yours and that grief isn’t wrong, even though you did go on to have children earth side. All of your children should matter to the world because they matter to you. All the best, -j
Stories that remind us that we’re human… Because, boy, am I sobbing right now.
Seriously… I am a sobbing mess rn
Spending months with a child in your stomach to only lose is is traumatic.
You don’t carry babies in your stomach 🙄 They are in the womb.
@@vs71597 yes I know I pushed 2 out and lost one my bad for putting the wrong word
@@emilydumonte9075 I lost one too 💔 there’s no words to describe that level of pain.
My oldest brother was a stillborn. I still regularly think about how different my life could be if I had another brother and what he could’ve possibly been like
Me too. I was thinking about the same thing just a day or two ago.
I was so invested and it cut off 😫😫😫 arrrrgh....
Aww, my son passed at 3 yrs old and he donated his organs. His name was Christopher too. I think about him a lot to.
..
Chris's heart beats in the body of a baby whose family lost hope. It's beautiful to be able to help others even though it breaks your heart. Babies like Chris live on through the lives they saved.
I lost my only baby. We had papers signed for them to save him over me. God had other plans. Then I also guess I didn't know his plan for me to become a widow at a young age also after only 13 years of marriage. I am now 43 years old, but God surprised me and showed me his plans. I am currently pregnant, and have a loving man by my side.
Now whether I get to keep this child, and whether I get to keep this man is up to God, but here's to hoping to keep both of them with me Lord. I pray that God's plan is that he gets to welcome both of them home, but way way way way later on.
Amen and God bless you. You are definitely stronger with God than without. Congratulations
How can you believe in a god that allows babies to die ,by your own words you think he plays a part so in that case you must believe he choose to end a child's life before it even began. It's not God, there's no magical being deciding who lives and dies and honestly if there was I wouldn't be praising them lol they would be a narcissistic and evil for what they do/allow and expect in return. You can't truly believe God allowed your child and husband to die for some greater plan.?
I lost my baby too. 5 months ago. Can I ask you... does the pain ever lessen?
@@cameronhall4 I’m so sorry for your loss and praying for you to have peace and comfort.
@@TheDirtydee118 sadly death is part of life. We can’t blame God but we can turn to Him to help us through loss.
I'm an organ donor. I always say that if I'm not using them, then why should I keep them?
You are a blessing. It was due to my donor 8 years ago that that I have been able to know my grandchildren. I signed up to be a donor many years ago, and my sentiments are the same as yours. You are a blessing. 😍
It was the ep she is talking about that made me decide if I ever have a similar issue and I can do the same I will. If my loss can save others from the same pain then I will help. If my baby can save others and part of them can live on then that makes the loss for me just a little easier to handle.
Reading the Grace filled memories of these Mamas on here has really filled my heart with emotion.
I've never watched the show I don't even know who this actress is but she really is good
one of the most insightful + lovable scenes of Grey's anatomy.
My stepdad had a son with this. He lived, amazingly, for about 8 hours and I just can't imagine how hard that must have been for him
I was a RN for a very long-time
This is a tv show but this discussion is so kind and gentle . Such a horrible decision for parents to have to make. Organ donation is needed to save so many tiny lives.
When I had a baby with the same birth defect 38 years ago, they would not take any organ donations. I am glad they are finally letting those little souls help someone while they are on this Earth. Her name was Heaven.
I know this isn't real, but I still admire how collected she is. Personally, I still cry about my mothers late horse 15 years after he passed... He literally held me when I learned to walk and generally was a really smart guy and I was raised to think of animals as equals so to 8 year old me it felt like loosing a big brother.. I'm even tearing up thinking about him now. My biggest respect goes out to people who can talk about loss without getting emotional
I lost my daughter to SIDS almost 8 years ago. I still think about her. It took me 6 years to have another baby but even that wasn't planned. The first year of his life was hell because I was so scared I was gonna lose him. That trauma of losing your child under any circumstance is unforgettable.
Watching this gave me goosebumps. I remember the screen of Christopher being held by his mum. Really upsetting and proud of him being an organ donor ❤
i had a baby boy with that. its just heart breaking. i was 23 weeks when i found out. never forget him.
Mines a different story, when I was diagnosed with cancer, I would see the babies , young people with cancer and my heart would break for them and I'd silently pray for them to get better
So many lives can be saved with the gift of organ donation. I implore anyone who finds themselves in this situation to grant LIFE to another if donation is possible! Communicate your desire to be a donor with your immediate family. Donors and their families are HEROS!
Thank you God for not making me walk that path. I don't know if I am strong enough to do it. 😔
You’re not given the strength to walk it until the race has already begun.
I know because I’ve walked it ❤
I don’t know either. But I do know God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. It may not seem that way at the time. But I’ve learned it is true. It’s hard, but true.
That is by far one of the saddest thing’s I’ve ever heard
When my daughter was born we were devastated to find out that she was going to need open heart surgery as she was born with a hole in her heart. We were terrified but then we found out the baby in NICU next to her was born with only half a heart and was waiting for a doner. As bad as the experience was we now know it could always be worse. My daughter is 7 and still has health issues but we have learned to be happy with what we do have, life is precious it's sometimes easy to forget that.
My ex and I lost a child a few years back. She took seizure meds that simulated her monthly visitor and suppressed the hormones needed for fetal development. The doctors didnt catch the pregnancy in time and we lost the baby. I sometimes think of that little life and it makes me cry knowing I wont be their dad.
My aunt carried her son knowing he would not survive outside of the womb due to trisomy 18 deformities and she still carried him until he died inside of her. It’s just so so sad.
This made me burst in tears… My youngest son passed away last year when he was only 5 months old.. they told me SIDS but I’ll never get over the fact he was so healthy and then I go to work and come racing home to be told my son didn’t make it.. I think about him everyday and his smile, wondering who he’d grow up to be with his big brother.. I had so many dreams of him growing up.. and now I’ll never know who the beautiful boy I gave birth to would’ve been..
My niece was born with anencephaly. She started having seizures in the womb. When she was born a month later (induction didnt work) she lived for 45 minutes. She was (is) so beautiful
My mom had a daughter, my older sister Rebecca, with this. She gave birth around 6 months, all alone as the dad left her when he found out. She was my mom's only child with red hair like her and she talks about her a lot. It's so sad.
This episode threw me all the way back to her pregnancy during Private Practice. I cried for her all over again.
My parents firstborn was born with a type of 'cancer' that had never been seen before. My mother told me that they actually wrote a research paper on her and the treatments and surgery they tried to save her; but the cancer had spread to both kidneys and there was nothing they could do to save her. She was BORN with what is now called a Wilms Tumor..a malignant cancer of the kidneys
Even today it is very rare and affects mostly young children, now it is treatable. But my sister was born in 1948--when cancer of any type basically ended in death.
She was a very beautiful little girl who died in 1951, when my mother was in her third trimester with my oldest brother.
It really broke her, she never really healed from her death....There were 6 of us born in the 8 years following her death.
"He has a brother now." 🥺
Amelia's unicorn baby. Oh man, watching that birth really messed me up. She is an amazing actor! I miss Private Practice.
This made me cry all over again.
Oof. This hit home. Wife and I lost our first son due to anencephaly. He now has a younger brother that we will tell has an older brother one day.
Broken my hearth to listen to this woman saying she donate the organs of his son cuz since she’s a doctor. She knew there’s no way to save him. Probably the only way another woman with the same condition. Know what’s the best. Even when it hurts so much. This scene probably could win an Oscar. Such a delicate teme. lossing a loved one.
Wow! It great that they included this. 👏 things women have to experience physical, mentality and the ptsd later. ❤️❤️
What an incredibly painful experience. I know this is fiction but I also know this is someone’s reality.
Her storyline was always one of my favorites all the way from the beginning. Private practice is a gem!
Since I went through having a daughter with the same birth defect I was pleased they chose that storyline. I was induced with my daughter. I was told with this type of pregnancy the birth can go beyond 9 months. The pressure on the head isn't always there to promote self-labor.
I’m just glad Amelia Is staying strong and brave ❤
I had a friend who was a baby got a donated organ as well, well years later he wanted to learn about the person and found the family, he request to speak to them as it seem it was a Lung, what he wanted to do was to get a tattoo of thier child where the lung would be
This scene 😭 made me lose it. (As someone who has loved Ameila from Private Practice)
what was the point of her telling them the story?
@@captainnemolostintheocean1652 to me…
I think she didn’t want them to go through the pain of thinking what if.
So having another baby won’t help me move on from losing my first. Suddenly that makes sense and suddenly I realize I will never finally feel any less sad.
You will feel less sad eventually. It happens so gradually sometimes that you don’t even notice. The biggest hurdle is when you realize you feel less sad, being okay with it. It’s okay to start feeling better, more normal, and “move on”. Don’t beat yourself up on those days for not grieving. You are meant to feel better eventually.
@@Lada4644 absolutely spot on. It’s hard not feeling guilty for going even a day without bawling all day.
Having another baby does not replace the one lost.. the worst thing to tell a parents is "you can always have another one"
What a brave thing to do.
shes such a convincing actor
I love Amelia so much 😭
This is one of the more tragic causes of infant death , and I wish and pray someday there's a cure for this horrible thing of our beautiful babies!!
I'm a guy without Children and that still hits hard.
I lost a baby. I will never ever get over it. Only those who have experienced it knows that emotional agony
That scene where her baby is in her arms as she says goodbye is one of the most powerful and sad television scenes I have ever witnessed
tell anna i lost a baby boy an it is a great pain but time does help with loss, i moved on ford everyday .pray and be positive and stop the dark way.
My niece lived 1 hour. 1. We knew, but she was able to save so many lives
my mother's last pregnancy was termed an anencephalic monster (1950's) pre-Roe. She had no choice but to carry it to full term, and nearly died as a result. Daddy, 2 months later, committed suicide.
I'm so sorry 😢
That's one of the reasons why folic acid is described during pregnancy to reduce the risks of anencephaly.
I think about my brother my mom lost at 6 months in 1997 a lot. I know he’s watching out for me and I know I’ll see him one day
I miss what we could have had, my little Trinity.
Who watched Private Practice knew Amelia's younger version, she had such an amazing character development, she went through so much hard stuff (most of them had also). I adore her so much
I nvr watch Private Pratice, but i know someone put video other channel about Amelia baby. So thats why i know how sad story about Amelia baby
I had a baby boy named Christopher who only lived for 47 min. This was kinda crazy and caught ne off guard for a second.
The episode where she gave birth had me sobbing. Incredible acting!
That doesn't even seem like acting that woman just touched my soul
Very impressive acting. Love Amelia ❤️
As a big sister who never got to grow up alongside my youngest sister, this speaks to me
I’ve never watched greys anatomy but I did watch private practice. Seeing that Amelia really grew and got passed everything she did and now holds enough strength to talk about it is really beautiful. My heart broke for her. It may have been my teenage hormones but I did a lot of crying for Amelia.
A cousin had a baby with anencephaly, her name was Aurora, like our grandma, and she lived for 6 days. We always remember her.
I love Amelia. But damn. I also feel bad for her. Because she has had a lot of bad shit happen to her in her life. I'm glad that she still ended up happy though. ❤️
I had a daughter with Anencephaly 15 years ago she was my much wanted fertility baby girl after 2 boys I often think of her
My former MIL lost twins due to the damage the OB did with forceps because he was late to a party. She and her husband didn't sue the doctor, but that loss changed her forever. Unfortunately it was before the prevalence of successful organ donations.
That’s horrifying.
Our oldest was born when we were young. Didn't know we were expecting until way late. She never showed any sign of pregnancy. Thought it was flu but was almost 6 months along. Unfortunately, baby Jeremy only lived for 3 days. I never got to meet my baby boy. None of his organs were fully developed or even developed enough to sustain him for any kind of surgery. Sadly, we will never know who he would've been or how he'd have been as a big brother for our other boy, born 4 years later. It's a void that gets easier to carry but, it never truly heals.
i wish it was the complete scene... why did she tell them abt Christopher?
My niece was born with anencephaly. She lived for 45 minutes but she will never be forgotten
Amelia shepherd is THE best character in greys and pp. I absolutely love her.
God, when Amelia is good, she is so good
Omg, just I cannot imagine
I had a granddaughter who passed from SIDs. Her kidneys went to a man in his 20s and her cartilage in knee for tests. And eyes to someone, im not sure who. I think of her everyday. She had an older brother and now a baby brother. I wish she was here giving them both a hard time.
I remember this episode 😭 😢 💔
I wish we'd get a part 2 to these 😭
Many of y’all need to watch the episode before talking about it cause goddamn
She went through so much
My twin sister passed when we were just over 1 year and 7 months. She needed several organ transplants, but by the last few months the dr's said even if she got perfect matches for everything she needed she still likely wouldnt have survived bc she was so weak. We were born 10 weeks and 1 day early, but she was a lot more underdeveloped than I was despite having a higher birth weight. I'm in my early twenties now, and I still wonder what my sister would've looked like what her personality would have been, what things she would've liked to do, and how my childhood would've been different if she had lived. My earliest memory is when I was about to turn 3 years old, much too late to remember her. As a gift for my parents, I want to pay for one of those professional companies that age up babies photographs to see what they'd look like at different ages like how they age up photos of missing kids. I'm not sure if it would hurt more than help with my parents grief, and I might pay for it myself when I save up enough, just out of my own curiosity and keep it to myself
I have never seen a doctor try to influence an organ donor decision. That’s what the transplant coordinator is for. It could be a huge conflict of interest, and at the very least people want to see that their doctors do absolutely everything they can for their loved one and feel that, however briefly, the doctor supports them in their grief.
If they could’ve been a chance…..(cut off here so it doesn’t mean a thing)!
This show used to be so good!
Aww this was so sad Amelia is my fav character ❤
I will never not want to cry when I think of Addison holding Amelia while she gave birth to her unicorn baby
I didn't realize that babies like that could be donors.
I always thought I would terminate if my baby was diagnosed without a brain. As it would probably be the most humane thing for the baby, myself, and my husband.
But if there is actually hope that carrying to term might save up to five lives, I might not have my baby alive in my arms, but five parents would have theirs and a spark from mine that my baby would not otherwise have.
Wow. That’s my story. Except his name was Atrayu. He lived for 40 minutes. That was 23 years ago. I still think of him.
I've always thought that parents should have to opt in or out of organ donation for a child when the birth certificate is signed, and adults at every ID document renewal/application. People are not thinking right when someone is dying. Opting out would also mean you would not be eligible to receive an organ if you needed one (either you get to be OK with it or not).
I was speaking about this with a woman who'd lost a child long ago, before organ donation was a thing. She said that had she been asked in the hospital that she'd never have given permission to take parts from her baby, but would have signed up had she been asked when in her right mind. Decades later, she wished it had been an option back then and taken out of her hands because in her words 'then it would feel like part of him was alive somewhere - but instead he's just gone'.
As a healthcare work I completely disagree with this. I would never donate my organs, unless it’s to my son… I do not believe that you shouldn’t be allowed to receive if you can’t donate. Some of the people that receive will never be candidates to donate. Religious beliefs also play a role in the decision. I respect anyone’s decision to donate or not to donate because it is in fact thier body and if they chose to take thier own organs with them, that is thier choice. Organ donation is also extremely specific, you don’t just match because of it’s same blood type. If someone chooses to donate yes they can save so many lives but honestly it’s a choice that shouldn’t be pushed with the fear of never getting one if it is ever needed.
Again, I would never donate or allow my child to be an organ donor. However, whom ever chooses to do so are amazing heros! The need for organ donation is needed but shouldn’t be pressure by society to do it. It should come from someone that really wants to use thier body to help others.
@@Kaydeleon I never said CAN'T donate. At the point where most people fill these forms nobody would know whether donation would be an option IF something happened to them. When it did happen, it would just mean that the conversation would already have happened and the decision made.
You say you'd never donate or let your child donate, that just means that you'd get to tick the 'no, I don't agree with organ donation' box. If either of you died or became terminal, you'd never be asked for organs. If you or your child ever got diagnosed with something and needed an organ, you'd simply never be added to the list - someone who'd been theoretically willing to donate their own organs (when they'd made this decision back when they were healthy) would get the next free organ.
You say that there should never be 'pressure by society to do it' - I disagree with this. You're OK with the idea that if you lost your child, so does someone else. Some organs can only be used for children if they come from children - but not donating is worth someone losing their child, for you. That's fine - but the parent's who don't lose theirs when the next organ comes up should to be ones who don't think like that. Why shouldn't your actions and choices dictate how you're treated? Some people WILL die because of lack of organs. Let it be the people who either don't agree with organ donation at all - or those who ticked 'no' to avoid giving their own organs had they been on the other end of the situation.
" I would never donate my organs, unless it’s to my son… I do not believe that you shouldn’t be allowed to receive if you can’t donate."
-Of course you don't. Being treated as you see fit to treat others in this case would not turn out well for you. You wan't to be all take and no give, and - shocker - don't like the idea of a system that removes this option for you.
I get what you’re saying. But I know two people in the “organ harvesting business” and they both took themselves off as organ donors and begged their loved ones to do the same. They literally making money off of harvesting organs and the families get nothing in return. Not even gratitude. It’s bad. They’re even disrespectful with the bodies. It’s not right.
It's not that it doesn't develop typically. It doesn't develop. You have a brain stem and that's about it. You can't experience consciousness. You can withdraw from noxious stimuli, but you don't experience the fear and anxiety and despair of being in pain.
My best friend’s 8mos old grandson had a heart transplant two weeks ago.