Hannah, On the cooking on the estate…..join in enthusiastically and then over spice everything. Burn the biscuits. Be a real klutz in the kitchen all the while apologizing that your not much of a cook. They’ll never ask again. On our first Thanksgiving with my family at my parents house, my soon to be husband volunteered to help dry dishes. He broke three of my moms crystal wine glasses. Needless to say, he was excused from dish duty forever.
My sister had to do dishes once and she left crud on them so she didn’t have to do them again, it worked lol I got stuck doing them which is fine I didn’t mind.But that is genius if you don’t want to be the one who has to do them all the time.
Wow two great examples of narcissism at work. What a great manipulative way to get out of doing things and make others do them. Shucks I’ve been silly being honest and just communicating my wants and needs.
I can't believe neither of you remembered when Hannah was all in on breaking the no backing into the parking spot law! And she even went so far as to say, "I'm going to go back there and back into the parking spot again and I'll just hand them the money to cover the fine because that law is so wrong"! I loved when she said that and in the end she won with the city. I was so proud of you guys for that. But neither of you remembered to bring it up with the law breaking question. ❤ Love Hannah's worst atributes is that she likes to have fun when Shane thinks she should buckle down. 😅
Yours is the only podcast where I actually listen through the ad due to the unexpected entertainment factor. LOL when Shane cackled about Hannah getting lost while using the GPS, I lost it. That one hit a little too close to home for me. You are not alone, Hannah! Love to watch your genuine interactions.
We really need fully accessible single use bathrooms everywhere. They are great for anyone who is disabled, needs more privacy, families with small kids and put adult sized changing tables in there too! I also think a bench would be helpful because sometimes people who are disabled or elderly need to sit or lean on something to adjust clothing, shoes or medical devices and seating to assist with that would be great. Its really just about having a space for privacy to do your business or whatever else you need privacy for, like medical care etc. 😁
How are we already on podcast 32? I've watched every single one asap and I'm loving it. Only podcast that's ever been able to keep my adhd attention span you guys are so entertaining
I think that's great idea to have those changing tables as long as it's a private rooms to do it in. I personally I would not want to be exposed by everybody walking in and out. Especially in public bathrooms.
I think it's great that you two can be open and have fun about stuff that others might be bothered by. It shows you both are secure and bright individuals. 😊
1973-1974 i was 15/16 ...my bf was 23...he wanted me to meet his step mother....i was crazy about him...my first LOVE...when i got there he informed me i had to cook desert..it was expected...i hands down refused ...he was pissed ..his mom was pissed...i held my ground and i'm not the type of person who sticks up for herself ..i hate confrontation...i'm not a feminist, especially back then, but it felt wrong and i felt insulted. His mother hated me of course but years later after he had dumped me in a very cruel way he tracked me down and revealed to me that she had a hidden agenda that was shocking. Soap opera type stuff. i never got back together with him. i often wondered what happened to him tho, how his life turned out. My point is ..even in 1973 England , that was not acceptable.
Congrats! Because of your efforts and notoriety, you (and others) have helped to get changes made for the better for those who need it. I want to be one of many to thank Delta for acknowledging the need and working to do something about it. 😊
I am so grateful to y’all and your openness. I have never thought of these things before. I am becoming a more empathetic person thanks to you. I had no idea it is virtually impossible… I don’t have any close relatives or friends who are wheelchair bound. I realize I have never had to put myself in your shoes. Thank you for being you. 🩵🩵🩵🩵 I stay because I love ur personalities but I learn every episode.
For the AITA: I feel like all he can do is explain the situation to her and let her make decisions. Shes going to form those relationships how she wants to. I do think he should offer to cook with her or if she decides not to cook, he needs to talk to his family beforehand and back her up. Like hes clearly let his family be rude to people in the past over this. He needs to call them on their shit. But when an estate is involved…thats less likely to happen.
I saw this on the news the other day and thought of Shane as well as Cole. This would be a huge plus for the disabled community. I have a wheelchair but I do not use it 24/7 like Shane does. Eventually I will be in a chair as I age and my diseases progress.
Imagine inviting someone as a guest to your house and then shepperding them into the kitchen to cook for you and the rest of your family! You would think your intention would be "lets try and make this person feel welcome, comfortable and respected" not "yay, a free servant to make me lunch". This family is wild
never fails, I watch your podcast and my day gets better. Thanks for the smiles. I do have a question, is there supposed to be video of the podcast on Spotify?
35:05 if I was that girlfriend, I would be looking for a new boyfriend. I never want to be forced to do anything because I am a female. And if you think it is sexist, and don’t believe in it, speak up. I love cooking with my in-laws but I never ever felt forced to do so because I was a female and my brother in law often joins the women in my family in the kitchen. No one gets treated differently depending if they are in or out of the kitchen.
Regarding the question about who's most likely to talk in their sleep - my brain immediately reminded me about the time Hannah said "I'm just looking for the vein" :))
You guys are such a joy to watch because your content is positive and when I finish watching an episode I feel positive and hopeful. I hope your relationship never changes.
AITA: Definitely the AH. It’s not okay to insist your partner does anything to meet their parents. It’s okay to explain family traditions and ask IF she wants to join in. But if she doesn’t want to, then that’s fine. I would make it quite clear to my family that my partner is going to do what they want. If it makes the family upset, tough luck. Your partner doesn’t have to fit in with your family, as long as they aren’t specifically rude or offensive (eg. Bringing pork to halal or kosher or veg family, or swearing profusely, or smoking indoors around people, or taking illegal substances at the table, or exposing their body or something else!). If you aren’t doing anything that is offensive then tough, families don’t have a right to your partner’s behaviour or loyalty or anything!
Hi!! I love you guys and your podcast! I love the way Hannah gazes at Shane and how Shane compliments Hannah. ❤❤ Shane, the black framed glasses look great on you. Stay in love!
I have a dislike/phobia about public restrooms (60 years) If I have plans, I won’t eat or drink anything that day, until I get home. With male family members that are great chefs, I can’t relate.
I thought of you right away when I saw news of that prototype. Then I thought of my dear friend with MS and realized we can take a trip together once this becomes a reality.
Shane: At least you are a male and therefore can pee into a bottle (in the car, of course). I am an elderly lady w/bladder issues and have to wear and carry protection everywhere. Ugh. I sometimes have nightmares where I'm standing in line forever to use a public toilet. When my turn comes, the toilet is filthy and I wake up. 😨
Yep, saw the new development for airplane seating in an article and immediately thought of you!! So happy to see some movement in companies making accessibility for the disabled community!
I think the adult Changing tables are a great idea as well, I also feel they should have a serperate stall as well for it, At least like a wall for their privacy, or a whole bathroom for them only period... Love you guys❤
My solution to the AITA is he should cook with her. If I was the gf I'd say "Fine, I'll cook but you have to cook too. It might be a tradition that the men don't cook but some traditions should be broken." I'm all for families cooking together but I'm very against all the men not contributing. Even non-cooks can help by washing veg and chopping a few things. So he should set the example and support his gf
Even when you're bickering the love shines through! I think it was just the set of questions though. Anyways, the new law on proper restroom accommodations is exciting! Hopefully more states will follow suit. And the airplane seats are also a positive change. Stoked to see progress being made!
Every family is different and when you are getting to know the person you loves family it is important to make an effort and a good first impression. they aren’t always going to align with what you do or think but that is okay, it’s part of it. I think she needs to put in the effort not for his family but for him, it can be stressful bringing someone you care about to meet your family. if his family isn’t kind and welcoming than you can choose to distance yourself and he will understand but you have to be open to trying.
Lots of conversation happens when in the kitchen. Sounds like a good way for family to get to know new family members and vise versa. I think it’s not as much about the task of cooking.
In my family, every year we gather together with friends on the 4th of July weekend for a pig roast. This brings about 200+ ppl together at my aunts and uncles lake house in NC. We've done this for 30+ yrs now. The men and women definitely have different roles during this roast. The men go to a local pig farm and pick the live pig that the farm then kills, and the mem roast the pig. This takes 24 hrs. So, the men stay up all night drinking beer and swaping stories about how they would roast the pig if it was their house and talk about work, etc. The women sleep and tend to the kids while this is happening. In the morning, the women wake and make everyone breakfast whole greeting any newcomers. Then, it is up to the women to make all the sides. Guests are to bring one side item or beverage as well. The men gas up the boats and take ppl skiing and tubing as well. We all have our roles and for some reason I've never considered this sexiest in any way maybe die to the fact that we all do an equal amount of work.Last year we stopped doing these pig roasts due to my aunt and uncles age and they sold the house. I've never been more devastated in my life. My grandchildren will never know the fun we had on that one weekend in July. It's now nothing more than memories in photos and stories we tell during the holidays. There are so many people I will never see again. It makes my heart sad.❤
I’m really disappointed with this morbid material. We’re all watching to feel good and instead we’re exposed to this dark subject matter. Just kidding- so funny, friggin love you guys! Thanks for being awesome and exposing us to your awesomeness!
I’m not offended in fact I’m laughing, my husband is a heart patient and his heart muscle works only at 30% he’s had two open heart surgery’s seven stents and a little brain damage from his last surgery. My point being is I always tell him he’s the one that will live to be 100 and we will all be dead 💀. 😂 oh goodness people don’t be so serious! We are all going to die on that note good luck y’all!
You two are the best! Thank you for these great podcasts. I’d be a little nervous about that whole cooking scene with the family and come down with a viral illness.😉
I love when Shane says "Oh Jesus!" I've only heard it twice, once here & once when discussing Hannah's run-in with the drunk guy she "hit". Literally makes me LMFAO! 😂
Hannah I agree with your points on the sexist cooking mandate. However, these gatherings represent a time to share traditions, insights, history, ideas, advice, and networking. In my family we had the same division of work with one group cooking and another tackling a big project on the honey-do list. We had cook offs between the women, men, and children. I miss those times of fellowship.
NTA: As someone who isn't into cooking (or strangers), I would feel very awkward, but I was raised with manners so I always offer to help when invited to someone's house. I also know the women would want to scope me out, so I have to suck it up and go play happy, helpful guest. I wouldn't need to be told or asked to do it, I would just go offer because that's what you do. That said...my issue would be that he said they would ostracize me or bully me if I didn't. I get that he wants to spare me that which is why he asked me to play along, but going in knowing they'd full on mistreat me if I didn't go cook, now THAT would make me stay home instead. I'm not going to go play nice with people who are not nice. That is rude and I wouldn't want to be part of a family that would do that to anyone. So, I'd let him know that we can happily meet up with them in a restaurant or invite them to our house, but I'm not going to Gramps house unless that behavior is assured not to occur. And the first time they tried to mistreat me, I would simply refuse to be in their company in the future or we'd have to just break up because I have too much self respect to be mistreated for no reason. That the men in that house allow that to continue say a lot about that family. if men are so damn superior in their eyes, those men should be taking those women in hand and correcting that situation rather than allowing any woman to be mistreated. There's no 'that's just what they do' nonsense. Fix the problem.
On the cooking thing: I've never really thought about it but our family is quite not traditional in this way. My side either all goes out to a restaurant for dinner, or if we are gathering at a house it's always a barbecue and the men cook (which I think is stereotypical) In my own household, I hate coming for other people and get stage fright, but my husband's work gives him a ham or turkey every year so he wants to host Christmas for his family. So the deal is I make a desert the night before, and on the day will throw roast veggies in the oven and he has to deal with cooking the meat, so it's a collaborative effort.
I used to live in Tunisia where its more common for women to cook, but even there, some women in the family were known to never cook, including me. Here in Norway I think men cook more than women, we have won the world championship of cooking several times, and always with male chefs haha
The family is the asshole in this story. I get that he does not want drama and is trying to avoid it and I get that she does not want to play along with a forced tradition. The “family” members who behave badly need to grow up and not be jerks or they should be ostracized. Maybe the couple does not attend because of this and clearly states their absence is because of this bullying behavior. Or she does not attend and he clearly states why and that she won’t until the toxic behavior changes. Or they attend and call out everyone who behaves meanly. Maybe he will realize that his family is likely toxic and that those engaging in this behavior or enabling it are not worth so much mental exhaustion.
My husband is Mexican. His family makes dozens and dozens of Tamales near Christmas every year. Before we were married I was asked to join in with his 95 year old grandma, 5 of her sisters, 2 of her daughter's and her grand daughter. I loved every minute of it. I loved being included in their family tradition. I loved the stories they shared while cooking and I actually loved learning to how to make and assemble tamales. I was a pro by the end of the day spreading the masa (not too thick😜) I never would have thought my bf (now husband) and his family was an asshole for inviting me to join in. I love family and I love traditions. I guess I don't embrace or understand the "modern woman" attitude some have.
I think the difference is the girlfriend in the story doesn't want to or doesn't enjoy cooking therefore it's wrong to force her to join in or else face ostracising from the family, it's lovely you have that and I'm sure your husband's family are lovely but in this scenario the family clearly seem oppositional to anyone who doesn't follow these gender roles!
You don't understand because they are not having the exact same reaction that you would have? That must be a real stumbling block to understanding a diverse world. Women can choose whether or not they enjoy cooking in 2023 😂
I think she doesn’t understand because she is more accepting of diversity, that is why she pitched in making the tamales instead of backing off. She embraced the culture and was eager to learn.
I think it's important to learn your spouse's family recipes bc traditions create strong bonds. Nothing nothing nothing to do with "feminism." It's impolite and unfortunate to think of this as something other than what we do to learn about our spouse and to pass on to children of relationship.
@@billieblake6227 The element of choice is where this falls down. The fact that you are an outcast if you do not comply! It is called coercion. It is an abusive system.
Adult changing tables and “family” bathrooms! ‘Cause no one wants to lie on a bathroom floor. 😵 I’m getting old enough and my 8 year old son is big enough it’s almost impossible for me to get him down on the floor and back up anyway. 👵🏼
Being a wheelchair user, the accessible plane seat is a great idea but how do you get on the plane in your wheelchair in the first place, because I have a big arse chair anyway. Hannah, if your worst attribute is that you seek out more fun rather than work, good on you, I'm with you, go for it. Love you both.
I’m so beyond excited about the plane prototype! I have a different condition, then Shane does, so I have never been able to fly, because I simply cannot come out of my wheelchair other than being in the bed, so I am very excited for the possibility of travel to be opened up for me! I knew you guys would be excited too. I’ve been looking forward to hearing your thoughts on it. That middle segment was interesting haha! I think the dinner is a difficult situation for both of them, and I think they should just not go for the sake of their relationship. I don’t think either of them is an asshole really.
For the AITA... I would feel awkward, if it's the first time meeting his mom. I would be okay joining in a tradition if there was at least one person I knew who was involved. Personally I think traditions are fun, and always something to look back upon as we get older. Our NY eve tradition is lots of finger foods and making it for the children to have fun while adults go out or whatever. We have more I guess what is considered conservative values since I don't understand what is wrong with all the women gathering to cook and mingle away from the guys for a bit. The guys do it around the grill I think too 🤔. Generally speaking though for every day meals my husband would help. With big events or holidays though it's just ends up being the women in the kitchen mostly drinking wine and giggling while the men hang out with the children and each other. I guess I'm really confused as to why it's considered rude or whatever to be asked to help with anything even if it is in the kitchen. Traditions are fun in my opinion.
I don't think its rude to ask people to help out. However, it would be rude to MAKE (as oppose to it happening by choice) the women cook because of historical context and stereotypes like 'women only belong in the kitchen'. Additionally, if the men are just sitting around and doing nothing but talking with each other, then it doesn't seem okay to have the women doing all the work. If the men are working together on something else, I guess that would make it a little more okay but I still don't like the forced gender roles in general. Also, I personally really hate cooking so I wouldn't find it very fun but thats just me. Hope this helps explain a bit.
An aside from the aeroplane travel thing, which for me would be epic if I were to ever go on a plane again, have you ever done coach/bus travel long distance?
Hiiii ❤ i am binging your podcast right now and am on #14 about misconceptions. I have a thought!....😊 You should totally do a day in my life video! Hannah vs. Shane! You could attach gopros to your chair and hanna could do a vlog style video. You could have the video fast forwarding while you guys narrate your day! ❤ i would totally love to see that! 😊 maybe it could help people understand some misconceptions about your lives as well.... (i apologize if you have done this concept before!) i became a fan a few years back but then i wasn't able to find time to watch RUclips videos and i am just now getting back into checking up on my favorite RUclipsrs and such 😅 i am currently binging your podcast every evening before i go to sleep. I haven't got around to watching most of your other videos yet though.
Depends on how their relationship is? If they're thinking of marriage then it would be a good idea for her to get to know the Ladies in his family. To see how they get along. At least she can see & know if she wants to be in that family. Before they get married. If their just dating, then No she shouldn't go if she don't want to.
When I was young, the women would all be in the kitchen washing dishes. I refused and was instead given the task of putting away the silver in the dining room while watching the men in the living room watch tv. I loved the idea that I was trusted with putting away the valuable china and silver.
When my wife and I first started dating, we were spicy texting and she sent a photo. Except she was also talking to her step mom. She was in the bathroom right after a hot shower, wrapped a towel around her and ran to her and grabbed her phone to delete it. She called me laughing, telling me all about it. Luckily, like Shane's parents, she didn't see it and it was safely deleted lmao!!!
i feel like with Husbands and wives they always hope they die together (Ie within six months) or that by the time one of them dies the other has alzheimer's or something so isnt as affected. My Nana lost her husband about 15 years ago after being married for just under 50 years and she still misses him terribly.
The women aren't wanting her in the kitchen to cook. They are wanting her in there to talk with her, to get to know her. If the girlfriend refuses, that's a social snub to the other women in the family. In matriarchal families, you do what grandma asks you to do, if you want to be part of that family. I think it was probably too soon of a proposition. He should've waited a few months to ask her to join him. If she knows that she wants to be with this man for the rest of her life, she'll be more willing to put up with his family's idiosyncrasies. I would tell her not to go. She knows the family gets together every so often. She knows what will happen when she goes. Hopefully, eventually, she'll come around and be willing to put up with being asked to cook for a couple of hours for a good cause (the good cause being familial peace).
I would agree. Hannah probably will be the one to live longer. For me I've always considered a "full life" being if u reached ur sixties or retirement age. But then again what is dying young? does a fifty nine year old count as dying young? The rule I've had is if u are old enough to receive a retirement pension (65 in Canada and most States I believe) then yes u have lived a full life. Note I don't consider it a "full life" until u hit 65 if u either a) retired early or b) were forced to retire (eg my college friend's dad was in his fifties but was forced to retire when his work had massive layoffs) and are not 65. The only way I would see Hannah dying before Shane is tragic and sudden death such as car accident murder (I mean a couple years ago Minnesota was the number 1 murder capital in the US so....) or illness related such as Cancer.
Love you guys think your awesome Shane's such a cool guy he cracks me up with his sense of humour and your such a cool woman you also make me laugh too and love everthing you talk about your topics are so interesting!!!! Hope your both having a nice day 👌💓look forward to next video
Oh wow, that convertible airline seat would be a game changer for so many. I hope they don't take 50 years to implement that. My question though, that they'll clearly have to answer, is how do they get the wheelchair down the aisle? Those aisles are definitely slimmer than Shane's chair. Then, he'd have to turn the chair around to back into the spot, right? How's that work? It's awesome that a chair can be strapped in, but the logistics of getting the chair TO the seat won't be an easy thing to do, right? 1st 2 rows in coach, you still have to go through 1st class to get there.
I'm split on the "am I the butthole" verdict. I feel like sometimes you just compromise in a relationship even on things you don't want to do, but I also feel like it's a sexist tradition. I wonder if the guy's family is Hispanic, because that's common among that culture. But I'm with Hannah in the sense that I wonder if he hadn't said anything would she have done it with no problem. I feel like he shouldn't have told her the background of it lol, and then she probably would've been okay with being helpful. Honestly, I would've just said okay I'll do it. But that's just me.
Im just wondering. When planes finally become wheelchair accesible how would that work for takeoff and landing. Would it be like a city bus that has straps if the wheelchair is a manual so the chair doesn't move if the bus has to stop suddenly? Or would it be fine just leaving the chair as is as its heavy enough not to move significantly?
My fiance is a great cook (and it's not his profession)! and he absolutely loves it! and I love eating, so it works out for us perfectly! I do ask him if he needs help, but most of the time, I am not cooking. Our "tradition" is that 99% of the time, he cooks and we sit at the dinner table and eat together. It's rare for us to not eat together every evening. So I would be in the same boat as the girlfriend with being adamantly against it and thinking the boyfriend is an asshole for trying to find ways to get her to participate because he wants her to be liked in his family. You don't date/marry the whole family! You date/marry your partner! Family participation is optional, in my opinion.
IMO he is NOT the asshole….the way it came across to me is he really likes this girl, so much so he wants her to meet and spend time with his family….he is begging for her to go and is giving her the heads up on how his family is(sounds like a Sweetheart to me)… “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Why not look at this as an honor and opportunity to get to know more about your boyfriend and his extended family. If you are interested in potentially building a life with this guy, shouldn’t you be eager to go and spend quality time with people who could possibly be your future family. I am gonna turn the table here and say the gf is the asshole….the bf should not have to beg, and the fact that he is expresses how much the gf means to him. The gf’s unwillingness to participate says how much he means to her. This hurts my heart.
![Chris Langan - The Interview THEY Didn't Want You To See - CTMU [Full Version; Timestamps]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9miVG2xT5jY/mqdefault.jpg)
Hannah, On the cooking on the estate…..join in enthusiastically and then over spice everything. Burn the biscuits. Be a real klutz in the kitchen all the while apologizing that your not much of a cook. They’ll never ask again. On our first Thanksgiving with my family at my parents house, my soon to be husband volunteered to help dry dishes. He broke three of my moms crystal wine glasses. Needless to say, he was excused from dish duty forever.
My sister had to do dishes once and she left crud on them so she didn’t have to do them again, it worked lol I got stuck doing them which is fine I didn’t mind.But that is genius if you don’t want to be the one who has to do them all the time.
Wow two great examples of narcissism at work. What a great manipulative way to get out of doing things and make others do them. Shucks I’ve been silly being honest and just communicating my wants and needs.
@@user-uy8xf9tm5h well she was a kid still so it wasn’t like she did it as an adult.
Sounds like weaponized incompetence.
@@user-uy8xf9tm5h Fine if that works. But if people don't really care about your wants and needs sometimes you need to be a little creative.
I can't believe neither of you remembered when Hannah was all in on breaking the no backing into the parking spot law! And she even went so far as to say, "I'm going to go back there and back into the parking spot again and I'll just hand them the money to cover the fine because that law is so wrong"! I loved when she said that and in the end she won with the city. I was so proud of you guys for that. But neither of you remembered to bring it up with the law breaking question. ❤ Love Hannah's worst atributes is that she likes to have fun when Shane thinks she should buckle down. 😅
Yours is the only podcast where I actually listen through the ad due to the unexpected entertainment factor. LOL when Shane cackled about Hannah getting lost while using the GPS, I lost it. That one hit a little too close to home for me. You are not alone, Hannah! Love to watch your genuine interactions.
We really need fully accessible single use bathrooms everywhere. They are great for anyone who is disabled, needs more privacy, families with small kids and put adult sized changing tables in there too! I also think a bench would be helpful because sometimes people who are disabled or elderly need to sit or lean on something to adjust clothing, shoes or medical devices and seating to assist with that would be great. Its really just about having a space for privacy to do your business or whatever else you need privacy for, like medical care etc. 😁
How are we already on podcast 32? I've watched every single one asap and I'm loving it. Only podcast that's ever been able to keep my adhd attention span you guys are so entertaining
I think that's great idea to have those changing tables as long as it's a private rooms to do it in. I personally I would not want to be exposed by everybody walking in and out. Especially in public bathrooms.
That was my immediate thought. Baby tables are often near communal sinks
I've only ever seen changing tables in the larger, accessible stalls.
I think it's great that you two can be open and have fun about stuff that others might be bothered by. It shows you both are secure and bright individuals. 😊
1973-1974 i was 15/16 ...my bf was 23...he wanted me to meet his step mother....i was crazy about him...my first LOVE...when i got there he informed me i had to cook desert..it was expected...i hands down refused ...he was pissed ..his mom was pissed...i held my ground and i'm not the type of person who sticks up for herself ..i hate confrontation...i'm not a feminist, especially back then, but it felt wrong and i felt insulted. His mother hated me of course but years later after he had dumped me in a very cruel way he tracked me down and revealed to me that she had a hidden agenda that was shocking. Soap opera type stuff. i never got back together with him. i often wondered what happened to him tho, how his life turned out. My point is ..even in 1973 England , that was not acceptable.
Congrats! Because of your efforts and notoriety, you (and others) have helped to get changes made for the better for those who need it. I want to be one of many to thank Delta for acknowledging the need and working to do something about it. 😊
I am so grateful to y’all and your openness. I have never thought of these things before. I am becoming a more empathetic person thanks to you. I had no idea it is virtually impossible… I don’t have any close relatives or friends who are wheelchair bound. I realize I have never had to put myself in your shoes. Thank you for being you. 🩵🩵🩵🩵 I stay because I love ur personalities but I learn every episode.
For the AITA:
I feel like all he can do is explain the situation to her and let her make decisions. Shes going to form those relationships how she wants to. I do think he should offer to cook with her or if she decides not to cook, he needs to talk to his family beforehand and back her up. Like hes clearly let his family be rude to people in the past over this. He needs to call them on their shit. But when an estate is involved…thats less likely to happen.
I saw this on the news the other day and thought of Shane as well as Cole. This would be a huge plus for the disabled community. I have a wheelchair but I do not use it 24/7 like Shane does. Eventually I will be in a chair as I age and my diseases progress.
15:00 made me think of the old saying, "the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong... but that's the way to Bet"
This was something unexpected. Every episode is fun and interesting ❤
I love that the changing table law is from 2 women from Minnesota! That's where I live.
When Shane say "get me on an airplane safely" he should ask Hannah to do the air quotes fingers as he says safely.
I like how you talk through different topics and playfully debate. You 2 are so cute! 😊
Imagine inviting someone as a guest to your house and then shepperding them into the kitchen to cook for you and the rest of your family! You would think your intention would be "lets try and make this person feel welcome, comfortable and respected" not "yay, a free servant to make me lunch".
This family is wild
I just saw an article about the Delta seats today, I was so excited!
never fails, I watch your podcast and my day gets better. Thanks for the smiles. I do have a question, is there supposed to be video of the podcast on Spotify?
35:05 if I was that girlfriend, I would be looking for a new boyfriend. I never want to be forced to do anything because I am a female. And if you think it is sexist, and don’t believe in it, speak up.
I love cooking with my in-laws but I never ever felt forced to do so because I was a female and my brother in law often joins the women in my family in the kitchen. No one gets treated differently depending if they are in or out of the kitchen.
oh my god are you saying that because he is in a wheelchair. what a hartless beast u are
Regarding the question about who's most likely to talk in their sleep - my brain immediately reminded me about the time Hannah said "I'm just looking for the vein" :))
29:23, so in sync with each other. Respect. Shane is mad funny, man 😂. Hannah got it going on to the NINES.
You guys are such a joy to watch because your content is positive and when I finish watching an episode I feel positive and hopeful. I hope your relationship never changes.
AITA:
Definitely the AH.
It’s not okay to insist your partner does anything to meet their parents. It’s okay to explain family traditions and ask IF she wants to join in. But if she doesn’t want to, then that’s fine. I would make it quite clear to my family that my partner is going to do what they want. If it makes the family upset, tough luck. Your partner doesn’t have to fit in with your family, as long as they aren’t specifically rude or offensive (eg. Bringing pork to halal or kosher or veg family, or swearing profusely, or smoking indoors around people, or taking illegal substances at the table, or exposing their body or something else!).
If you aren’t doing anything that is offensive then tough, families don’t have a right to your partner’s behaviour or loyalty or anything!
Hi!! I love you guys and your podcast! I love the way Hannah gazes at Shane and how Shane compliments Hannah. ❤❤ Shane, the black framed glasses look great on you. Stay in love!
I have a dislike/phobia about public restrooms (60 years) If I have plans, I won’t eat or drink anything that day, until I get home.
With male family members that are great chefs, I can’t relate.
I thought of you right away when I saw news of that prototype. Then I thought of my dear friend with MS and realized we can take a trip together once this becomes a reality.
I think the adult changing tables should be installed in single/family bathrooms for the privacy.
Was waiting for your weekly video!!!
Shane: At least you are a male and therefore can pee into a bottle (in the car, of course). I am an elderly lady w/bladder issues and have to wear and carry protection everywhere. Ugh. I sometimes have nightmares where I'm standing in line forever to use a public toilet. When my turn comes, the toilet is filthy and I wake up. 😨
Diddums
Yep, saw the new development for airplane seating in an article and immediately thought of you!! So happy to see some movement in companies making accessibility for the disabled community!
"Isn't that horrible everyone?" Hannah makes me laugh so much hahaha
I think the adult Changing tables are a great idea as well,
I also feel they should have a serperate stall as well for it,
At least like a wall for their privacy, or a whole bathroom for them only period...
Love you guys❤
I saw Delta's promo and got soooo excited but wasn't able to tag you guys in it!!
So excited to see the new wheel chair design on commercial planes!!!!!
Yes but the cost is outrageous
My solution to the AITA is he should cook with her. If I was the gf I'd say "Fine, I'll cook but you have to cook too. It might be a tradition that the men don't cook but some traditions should be broken." I'm all for families cooking together but I'm very against all the men not contributing. Even non-cooks can help by washing veg and chopping a few things. So he should set the example and support his gf
Legit commented this before Shane said the same thing. Great minds think alike
Even when you're bickering the love shines through! I think it was just the set of questions though.
Anyways, the new law on proper restroom accommodations is exciting! Hopefully more states will follow suit. And the airplane seats are also a positive change. Stoked to see progress being made!
Every family is different and when you are getting to know the person you loves family it is important to make an effort and a good first impression. they aren’t always going to align with what you do or think but that is okay, it’s part of it. I think she needs to put in the effort not for his family but for him, it can be stressful bringing someone you care about to meet your family. if his family isn’t kind and welcoming than you can choose to distance yourself and he will understand but you have to be open to trying.
Wow. The Delta thing, I am mind-blown and super excited about that!!! I could literally cry haha.
Hannah: Some people are going to be offended…
Me: (turns volume up)
😂😂
Lots of conversation happens when in the kitchen. Sounds like a good way for family to get to know new family members and vise versa. I think it’s not as much about the task of cooking.
In my family, every year we gather together with friends on the 4th of July weekend for a pig roast. This brings about 200+ ppl together at my aunts and uncles lake house in NC. We've done this for 30+ yrs now. The men and women definitely have different roles during this roast. The men go to a local pig farm and pick the live pig that the farm then kills, and the mem roast the pig. This takes 24 hrs. So, the men stay up all night drinking beer and swaping stories about how they would roast the pig if it was their house and talk about work, etc. The women sleep and tend to the kids while this is happening. In the morning, the women wake and make everyone breakfast whole greeting any newcomers. Then, it is up to the women to make all the sides. Guests are to bring one side item or beverage as well. The men gas up the boats and take ppl skiing and tubing as well. We all have our roles and for some reason I've never considered this sexiest in any way maybe die to the fact that we all do an equal amount of work.Last year we stopped doing these pig roasts due to my aunt and uncles age and they sold the house. I've never been more devastated in my life. My grandchildren will never know the fun we had on that one weekend in July. It's now nothing more than memories in photos and stories we tell during the holidays. There are so many people I will never see again. It makes my heart sad.❤
I’m really disappointed with this morbid material. We’re all watching to feel good and instead we’re exposed to this dark subject matter. Just kidding- so funny, friggin love you guys! Thanks for being awesome and exposing us to your awesomeness!
Omg u got me LOL 😆
I was about to lose on you Hahahah
I’m not offended in fact I’m laughing, my husband is a heart patient and his heart muscle works only at 30% he’s had two open heart surgery’s seven stents and a little brain damage from his last surgery. My point being is I always tell him he’s the one that will live to be 100 and we will all be dead 💀. 😂 oh goodness people don’t be so serious! We are all going to die on that note good luck y’all!
They give me old nagging granpa grandma couple vibes🤣🤣cute
You two are the best! Thank you for these great podcasts. I’d be a little nervous about that whole cooking scene with the family and come down with a viral illness.😉
I miss Monday Grubbag. Are you guys not doing that anymore? Love you!
I once thought I was texting my husband “ I love you” and instead, it went to my boss. Explaining that one was embarrassing
In my family my uncles didn't cook but my males cousins did. And so in the kitchen would be music, jokes ,laughter fun mayhem while cooking
“What point are you making” 😂
My good news is that I was approved to get a robotic arm on the first go round by medicaide!
I love when Shane says "Oh Jesus!" I've only heard it twice, once here & once when discussing Hannah's run-in with the drunk guy she "hit". Literally makes me LMFAO! 😂
Hannah I agree with your points on the sexist cooking mandate. However, these gatherings represent a time to share traditions, insights, history, ideas, advice, and networking. In my family we had the same division of work with one group cooking and another tackling a big project on the honey-do list. We had cook offs between the women, men, and children. I miss those times of fellowship.
Many people adore your relationship. Much loved around the world
NTA: As someone who isn't into cooking (or strangers), I would feel very awkward, but I was raised with manners so I always offer to help when invited to someone's house. I also know the women would want to scope me out, so I have to suck it up and go play happy, helpful guest. I wouldn't need to be told or asked to do it, I would just go offer because that's what you do. That said...my issue would be that he said they would ostracize me or bully me if I didn't. I get that he wants to spare me that which is why he asked me to play along, but going in knowing they'd full on mistreat me if I didn't go cook, now THAT would make me stay home instead. I'm not going to go play nice with people who are not nice. That is rude and I wouldn't want to be part of a family that would do that to anyone. So, I'd let him know that we can happily meet up with them in a restaurant or invite them to our house, but I'm not going to Gramps house unless that behavior is assured not to occur. And the first time they tried to mistreat me, I would simply refuse to be in their company in the future or we'd have to just break up because I have too much self respect to be mistreated for no reason. That the men in that house allow that to continue say a lot about that family. if men are so damn superior in their eyes, those men should be taking those women in hand and correcting that situation rather than allowing any woman to be mistreated. There's no 'that's just what they do' nonsense. Fix the problem.
On the cooking thing: I've never really thought about it but our family is quite not traditional in this way. My side either all goes out to a restaurant for dinner, or if we are gathering at a house it's always a barbecue and the men cook (which I think is stereotypical)
In my own household, I hate coming for other people and get stage fright, but my husband's work gives him a ham or turkey every year so he wants to host Christmas for his family. So the deal is I make a desert the night before, and on the day will throw roast veggies in the oven and he has to deal with cooking the meat, so it's a collaborative effort.
Always a treat to tune in and listen ❤😂😊
This was hilarious - you need to change the title of this to "Looking for trouble". So funny!!!!
I used to live in Tunisia where its more common for women to cook, but even there, some women in the family were known to never cook, including me. Here in Norway I think men cook more than women, we have won the world championship of cooking several times, and always with male chefs haha
I think it's the case worldwide that the award-winning top chefs are men while women are the ones that cook at home!
@@helimonni Yes, I can see it was a bad example, men cook more in the house hold here in Norway than women.
Thank you for providing the good news about the airlines. Can’t wait for the changes. Would love to travel more with my son.
The family is the asshole in this story. I get that he does not want drama and is trying to avoid it and I get that she does not want to play along with a forced tradition. The “family” members who behave badly need to grow up and not be jerks or they should be ostracized. Maybe the couple does not attend because of this and clearly states their absence is because of this bullying behavior. Or she does not attend and he clearly states why and that she won’t until the toxic behavior changes. Or they attend and call out everyone who behaves meanly. Maybe he will realize that his family is likely toxic and that those engaging in this behavior or enabling it are not worth so much mental exhaustion.
Good call.
My husband is Mexican. His family makes dozens and dozens of Tamales near Christmas every year. Before we were married I was asked to join in with his 95 year old grandma, 5 of her sisters, 2 of her daughter's and her grand daughter. I loved every minute of it. I loved being included in their family tradition. I loved the stories they shared while cooking and I actually loved learning to how to make and assemble tamales. I was a pro by the end of the day spreading the masa (not too thick😜) I never would have thought my bf (now husband) and his family was an asshole for inviting me to join in. I love family and I love traditions. I guess I don't embrace or understand the "modern woman" attitude some have.
I think the difference is the girlfriend in the story doesn't want to or doesn't enjoy cooking therefore it's wrong to force her to join in or else face ostracising from the family, it's lovely you have that and I'm sure your husband's family are lovely but in this scenario the family clearly seem oppositional to anyone who doesn't follow these gender roles!
You don't understand because they are not having the exact same reaction that you would have? That must be a real stumbling block to understanding a diverse world. Women can choose whether or not they enjoy cooking in 2023 😂
I think she doesn’t understand because she is more accepting of diversity, that is why she pitched in making the tamales instead of backing off. She embraced the culture and was eager to learn.
I think it's important to learn your spouse's family recipes bc traditions create strong bonds. Nothing nothing nothing to do with "feminism." It's impolite and unfortunate to think of this as something other than what we do to learn about our spouse and to pass on to children of relationship.
@@billieblake6227 The element of choice is where this falls down. The fact that you are an outcast if you do not comply! It is called coercion. It is an abusive system.
Another great episode of Junkyard Mayhem ❤
Adult changing tables and “family” bathrooms! ‘Cause no one wants to lie on a bathroom floor. 😵
I’m getting old enough and my 8 year old son is big enough it’s almost impossible for me to get him down on the floor and back up anyway. 👵🏼
Being a wheelchair user, the accessible plane seat is a great idea but how do you get on the plane in your wheelchair in the first place, because I have a big arse chair anyway. Hannah, if your worst attribute is that you seek out more fun rather than work, good on you, I'm with you, go for it. Love you both.
A little word from the wisdom of your "old age", just think...60 is only 29 years away! Don't blink, it comes fast! 😂 Believe me!
Hi Paul I agree I’m 68
@@irishgirl1753 What happened at 30? Time started in hyper mode! I was into fast cars, maybe I went too fast ”Marty"! LOL!
For the cooking dinner, they should suggest alternating the cooking, men one time and women the other. 😊
I’m so beyond excited about the plane prototype! I have a different condition, then Shane does, so I have never been able to fly, because I simply cannot come out of my wheelchair other than being in the bed, so I am very excited for the possibility of travel to be opened up for me! I knew you guys would be excited too. I’ve been looking forward to hearing your thoughts on it. That middle segment was interesting haha! I think the dinner is a difficult situation for both of them, and I think they should just not go for the sake of their relationship. I don’t think either of them is an asshole really.
It's not good to hold your bladder all day Shane.
For the AITA... I would feel awkward, if it's the first time meeting his mom. I would be okay joining in a tradition if there was at least one person I knew who was involved. Personally I think traditions are fun, and always something to look back upon as we get older. Our NY eve tradition is lots of finger foods and making it for the children to have fun while adults go out or whatever. We have more I guess what is considered conservative values since I don't understand what is wrong with all the women gathering to cook and mingle away from the guys for a bit. The guys do it around the grill I think too 🤔. Generally speaking though for every day meals my husband would help. With big events or holidays though it's just ends up being the women in the kitchen mostly drinking wine and giggling while the men hang out with the children and each other. I guess I'm really confused as to why it's considered rude or whatever to be asked to help with anything even if it is in the kitchen. Traditions are fun in my opinion.
I don't think its rude to ask people to help out. However, it would be rude to MAKE (as oppose to it happening by choice) the women cook because of historical context and stereotypes like 'women only belong in the kitchen'. Additionally, if the men are just sitting around and doing nothing but talking with each other, then it doesn't seem okay to have the women doing all the work. If the men are working together on something else, I guess that would make it a little more okay but I still don't like the forced gender roles in general. Also, I personally really hate cooking so I wouldn't find it very fun but thats just me. Hope this helps explain a bit.
God alone knows the date of death for each person. This is frivolous
Based on Shane's sense of humor in these videos, I find it hard to believe that he didn't write the questions!
RE: "Am I the A-hole"? ...that's not a family, that's a cult!!.. lol.....RUN!!
An aside from the aeroplane travel thing, which for me would be epic if I were to ever go on a plane again, have you ever done coach/bus travel long distance?
Hiiii ❤ i am binging your podcast right now and am on #14 about misconceptions. I have a thought!....😊 You should totally do a day in my life video! Hannah vs. Shane! You could attach gopros to your chair and hanna could do a vlog style video. You could have the video fast forwarding while you guys narrate your day! ❤ i would totally love to see that! 😊 maybe it could help people understand some misconceptions about your lives as well.... (i apologize if you have done this concept before!) i became a fan a few years back but then i wasn't able to find time to watch RUclips videos and i am just now getting back into checking up on my favorite RUclipsrs and such 😅 i am currently binging your podcast every evening before i go to sleep. I haven't got around to watching most of your other videos yet though.
I wouldn't go to the estate. I don't think you should be made to cook if you don't want to. Love watching you'll. Blessings to you both.
Depends on how their relationship is? If they're thinking of marriage then it would be a good idea for her to get to know the Ladies in his family. To see how they get along. At least she can see & know if she wants to be in that family. Before they get married. If their just dating, then No she shouldn't go if she don't want to.
Stay firm together and God be with you always guys.this is my happy pill watching ur podcast
Never stop i am learning so much
When I was young, the women would all be in the kitchen washing dishes. I refused and was instead given the task of putting away the silver in the dining room while watching the men in the living room watch tv. I loved the idea that I was trusted with putting away the valuable china and silver.
The men had no chores, just watching TV. Just wondering if that bothered you.
When my wife and I first started dating, we were spicy texting and she sent a photo. Except she was also talking to her step mom. She was in the bathroom right after a hot shower, wrapped a towel around her and ran to her and grabbed her phone to delete it. She called me laughing, telling me all about it. Luckily, like Shane's parents, she didn't see it and it was safely deleted lmao!!!
Junk food much and mayhem a segment when you try junk food you haven't tried it's a short segment ❤😂 part of the podcast 🎉🎉🎉
The best host and hostess in the world!
What is funny is my husband and I are going to be flying Delta for the first time ever in awhile. Now I’ll be yeah Delta!!
i feel like with Husbands and wives they always hope they die together (Ie within six months) or that by the time one of them dies the other has alzheimer's or something so isnt as affected. My Nana lost her husband about 15 years ago after being married for just under 50 years and she still misses him terribly.
Thank you for reminding me to plug my chair in lol
I look for your uploads every week. Your my RUclips crack. Wish you would post more.
The women aren't wanting her in the kitchen to cook. They are wanting her in there to talk with her, to get to know her. If the girlfriend refuses, that's a social snub to the other women in the family. In matriarchal families, you do what grandma asks you to do, if you want to be part of that family. I think it was probably too soon of a proposition. He should've waited a few months to ask her to join him. If she knows that she wants to be with this man for the rest of her life, she'll be more willing to put up with his family's idiosyncrasies. I would tell her not to go. She knows the family gets together every so often. She knows what will happen when she goes. Hopefully, eventually, she'll come around and be willing to put up with being asked to cook for a couple of hours for a good cause (the good cause being familial peace).
For me, it was the rude consequences of not adhering to the strict gender roles, ostracising and mocking. Sheesh.
I would agree. Hannah probably will be the one to live longer. For me I've always considered a "full life" being if u reached ur sixties or retirement age. But then again what is dying young? does a fifty nine year old count as dying young? The rule I've had is if u are old enough to receive a retirement pension (65 in Canada and most States I believe) then yes u have lived a full life. Note I don't consider it a "full life" until u hit 65 if u either a) retired early or b) were forced to retire (eg my college friend's dad was in his fifties but was forced to retire when his work had massive layoffs) and are not 65. The only way I would see Hannah dying before Shane is tragic and sudden death such as car accident murder (I mean a couple years ago Minnesota was the number 1 murder capital in the US so....) or illness related such as Cancer.
Love you guys think your awesome Shane's such a cool guy he cracks me up with his sense of humour and your such a cool woman you also make me laugh too and love everthing you talk about your topics are so interesting!!!! Hope your both having a nice day 👌💓look forward to next video
AITA What if the men did all the clean up afterwards? (I agree, it should certainly not be a requirement.) Another great podcast!
Oh wow, that convertible airline seat would be a game changer for so many. I hope they don't take 50 years to implement that. My question though, that they'll clearly have to answer, is how do they get the wheelchair down the aisle? Those aisles are definitely slimmer than Shane's chair. Then, he'd have to turn the chair around to back into the spot, right? How's that work? It's awesome that a chair can be strapped in, but the logistics of getting the chair TO the seat won't be an easy thing to do, right? 1st 2 rows in coach, you still have to go through 1st class to get there.
I'm split on the "am I the butthole" verdict. I feel like sometimes you just compromise in a relationship even on things you don't want to do, but I also feel like it's a sexist tradition. I wonder if the guy's family is Hispanic, because that's common among that culture. But I'm with Hannah in the sense that I wonder if he hadn't said anything would she have done it with no problem. I feel like he shouldn't have told her the background of it lol, and then she probably would've been okay with being helpful. Honestly, I would've just said okay I'll do it. But that's just me.
Im just wondering. When planes finally become wheelchair accesible how would that work for takeoff and landing. Would it be like a city bus that has straps if the wheelchair is a manual so the chair doesn't move if the bus has to stop suddenly? Or would it be fine just leaving the chair as is as its heavy enough not to move significantly?
Or use the bathroom need bigger isles so build bigger planes
My fiance is a great cook (and it's not his profession)! and he absolutely loves it! and I love eating, so it works out for us perfectly! I do ask him if he needs help, but most of the time, I am not cooking. Our "tradition" is that 99% of the time, he cooks and we sit at the dinner table and eat together. It's rare for us to not eat together every evening. So I would be in the same boat as the girlfriend with being adamantly against it and thinking the boyfriend is an asshole for trying to find ways to get her to participate because he wants her to be liked in his family. You don't date/marry the whole family! You date/marry your partner! Family participation is optional, in my opinion.
I think we all do things for the generations before us out of respect.
I fly Frontier or Allegiant they both transport my electric chair..
I love the way you love each other….❤
IMO he is NOT the asshole….the way it came across to me is he really likes this girl, so much so he wants her to meet and spend time with his family….he is begging for her to go and is giving her the heads up on how his family is(sounds like a Sweetheart to me)…
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Why not look at this as an honor and opportunity to get to know more about your boyfriend and his extended family. If you are interested in potentially building a life with this guy, shouldn’t you be eager to go and spend quality time with people who could possibly be your future family. I am gonna turn the table here and say the gf is the asshole….the bf should not have to beg, and the fact that he is expresses how much the gf means to him. The gf’s unwillingness to participate says how much he means to her.
This hurts my heart.