Proverbs 23: 13-14. I believe that sometimes God disciplines and guides us through physical pain. The world is suffering today because of many liberal family values. We don't expect a child to have thesame understanding as an adult. Let us all be guided by the Holy Spirit and ensure we are playing our parts to help the children we have been blessed with to love God.
A lot of times we always use this scripture of the rod, but also proverbs says "Train up a child" And training involves a lot of teaching, showing, modeling and talking (explaining things to the kids). The way the Holy Spirit has been leading me on my parenting journey is to talk, and explain why you say ''NO!'' and why you say "YES" so that the kids have an understanding of what you are talking about. I always remind myself that these kids just got here on earth, they only have 3-6 years experience.... So obviously, they have no idea what they are doing and the consequences of their action. And yes, parenting is alot of work when you are intentional about the type of "Adults" you want to produce. Am looking forward to what you will be sharing about parenting, because I have seen how your children behave and they are so good. I love your results.
There's so much you have touched on in the video and these are points can be applied in every scenario. Many of us parents just need an orientation change. We need to take our minds off hitting children. We are so stuck in our ways and then wonder why our children are difficult. Let's take hitting children off the table and be willing to do better for our children and the society at large. When we do better, we’ll be amazed about how much growth we’ll see ourselves experience.
There was a period in my childhood when my mom hit me a lot, I was under 10years. problem was I use to talk too much, I would repeat words from movies and just what I heard around me including insults (I didn't know it at the time) this one time I told my mom my Dad was having an affair 😂😂 he was not ooo, I just heard the word from a movie (she did not hit me for that though 😅)... Personally I did not and still don't feel bad about the beating because like your last point my mom after hitting me did not shut me out, she would hit and explain why 😂 and even treat me to something after some time. My mother would only hit us for very serious matters, so hitting was rare and usually after several warnings, but she never kept malice she would even be the first to talk to you ❤... learnt a lot, I don't have energy to hit kids 😂😂 the asignment now is just to pray for wisdom and grace to handle them when they get here and do my research as well
Well, if the Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child, then I will take God’s word literally. Of course, not hitting or abusing without cause. Many times, we twist scriptures to suit our own mindset which isn’t right. If we can take a scripture on faith literally, then we should take every other one literally. You see people coming up with different suggestions like; we’re in 2024, we’re raising Gen alpha kids etc...God’s word is God’s word, regardless of times and seasons. Plus that’s why you should have a walk with God as he will give you instructions on how to deal with your OWN children. For a particular child, God can tell you, this one, when he errs, just talk to him, but you see the other one, when he errs, don’t spare him for he knows what he’s doing. God will tell you, tor this child, he must never be put in a boarding school. Specific instructions....Don’t use someone else’s specific instruction and make it yours. Let Gods word instruct you on how to discipline your kids. They are your kids after all not anyone’s child and each child’s destiny is custom made for them. You can’t say the same way you raise a strong willed child is the same way you will raise a compliant child, children are not the same. What worked for your sisters kids might not work for yours. And like I said earlier, get your own word for your kids. And most importantly, Gods word NEVER FAILS, even if every method fails.
What makes one child strong willed and another compliant? Children are largely a product of thier environment and it's nurture that shapes thier personality.
God bless you sis this was mind blowing educating and may the holy spirit give you more teachings to share with us and help us be better parents ......make it a series 😊
I knew before becoming a mum i didn't want to exhibit the harsh beating i received growing up. It suppresses you emotionally, gives you anxiety and breaks your confidence. Parents are supposed to be a safe place. There is a difference betweeen respect and reverence for parents and literally being afraid. Its hard to remain calm when your toddler is throwing tantrums but i have allowed it to help me grow in the fruit of the spirit, its tough! I get on his level open my eyes wide lol and explain he can't have .... because of .... Or i validate that i know he is sad because of xyz but that doesn't mean he should act out in such and such way. I give consequences and take things away and daily i ask the lord to help me. Parenting without the Holy Spirit is harder so as believers we have an advantage by his grace 🙏🏽 Sidenote, its also not okay in homes where children are being beaten mercilessly whilst the parents are also demonstrating behaviours that arent christlike infront of their kids its sheer double standards. I'm talking infidelity, insulting each other, domestic violence and lieing etc. You can't be beating your kids with vim whilst lacking accountability as a parent with blatant sinful behaviours that your children can also see and that God can see.
To add I love everything you've shared how do I like this video 100 times! In child development we learn about the big burst of brain development in a toddler from 18 months. They have NO idea how to regulate their emotions and that's why tantrums over little things are so irrational to us. As parents we have to teach our children how to manage their emotions and express it in a way that is healthy. This is a growing conversation and as they grow with understanding we insert biblical principles. I worked in a school once in year 1 and they had a quiet corner with emotions on a chart for when a child starts feeling angry,sad, frustrated etc. Once they get there we had to give them a moment then one of us goes there and talks them through what's going on. The teacher of that class was training to become a counsellor and that method she used was a game changer. We had the best class in that year group, we could echo those things back to parents and the parents were so fond of us as staff. Gentle parenting is not permissive parenting. There are consequences for wrong behaviour but it shouldn't be abusive. It's only when I got married I started to heal and deal with suppressed emotions. Any small thing growing up, slap,kick, shut up and get out. Never given the room to express. We banter about growing up in an African household but some things aren't to be repeated.
God bless you for this topic ma'am. I really needed it. As a single lady I told myself that hitting and shouting won't be for me. But as a mom of 3 kids, 8, 6 , and 5 years old respectively I find myself doing otherwise though not hitting but shouting all the time specially due to being overly stressed. Thanks for the topic ma'am, learnt a lot. Please more of it❤
Thank you for sharing. Please do share more about gentle parenting. This would not be my first time of hearing about gentle parenting, however it has not been an easy thing for me to do (I have a three year old)
Sis God bless you. I see this as the voice of God speaking to me . Am guilty on this I will change today in Jesus name. I just made a decision today never to do that anymore. Thank you sis God bless you
I hear you Tolulope. You said your son came in strong. So how did you discipline him? I hear your passion for this topic but didnt really get practical tips that apply in the moment of chaos. For example its bath time. Your 2 year old son starts rolling on the floor screaming refusing to bath. Will time out or face the wall work for a 2 year old? Or your 2 year old throws a big tantrum, scatters the house, break things. Will face the wall work then? Or your two year old gets angry for not getting something he wants and hits the younger sibling. What do you do in that moment? I am using a 2 year old as an example because at least by 3,4 years old they can understand certain punishments like face the wall and have a small understanding that they are being punished for a wrong they did. But having a 2 year old grasp information is difficult. Almost impossible. Thank you.
Thanks for this qestion. I am also battling with the same issue and i will appreciate if Tolulope tells us how she does it. Mine is in a stage everything is ball and i am finding it so hard to stop all the throwing and spoiling.
You cannot tell a child to face the wall again because it is now a punishment that affects a child's mental health because in that time, the child will have different thoughts running through their head, and it's also a period of seclusion from others, which is a red flag for children's development. Every child is different, and all homes are not the same, and all methods do not work for all children. Hitting a child is also a no-no. My prayer is that God will guide each parent on how to raise their children to be godly so that society can be a better place. A society free of drug users, abusers, liars, and all. God help us. Amen
People do say what works for one person does not work for another person but she has given pretty very valid practical points in this video. Please take some time to listen again. For example, being invested in quality information and research on how to do better when raising children. How many books have you read? How many articles about your growing child have you read? These information make you aware of the developmental phases of your children and what to expect. With that, nothing catches you unawares and you are more sensitive and aware of your children and how best to address issues. She also mentioned putting yourself in their shoes. Many times we forget that children are humans too. We look down on them and invalidate their feelings. When we find ourselves struggling with our children, we need to take a step back to assess the situation and make better judgments. There’s so much she has touched on in the video and these are points that can be applied in every scenario. Many of us parents just need an orientation change. We need to take our minds off hitting children. Let’s take it off the table and be willing to do better for our children and the society at large.
God bless you ma for this. Please can you speak on “spare the rod and spoil the child” Bible verse. Because that’s one scripture most people bring up in arguments about hitting children.
Very informative video, thanks for sharing ❤❤ By way of feedback, this tone of this video is different from the one you posted on Instagram. You said you didn't mean to be judgemental, but it did seem condescending and judgemental. I believe your purpose of sharing is to influence impact and change. Unlike this video, that wasn't communicated to me on the IG post & although I didn't comment, the comment section on IG reflects that it probably didn't communicate what you intended to other people as well. Due to the Nigerian culture, topics like this are sure to put people on edge, but your approach can disarm the defensiveness. Because like you've said, some of us didn't know better & if people like you don't talk about it, how would we know. Just my honest review. I really am better exposed as you've shared in this video 🙏❤️❤️
I truly hear you ma'am. And you do have really strong points ma but will we say Jesus using a whip in the temple was physical abuse? I'm not saying to be extreme, I've always had the mindset that I'll be easy with my kids but staying with my nephews have shown me that words and punishment doesn't always do the magic. Sometimes I drag their ears or hit them at the back and I see them adjust. Again an intelligent teacher recently taught me that withholding privileges from a child shouldn't and isn't always a form of discipline. Sometimes you intentionally withhold privileges so that the child doesn't grow up spoilt and believing that they just have whatever they want. Thank you ma
The part where one need to be on the same page where their spouses are very important. If either of the parents are not on the go with this idea of not spanking, then the result will not be there.
What about the Bible verse that says spare the rod and spoil the child. Don’t get me wrong I am against beating children I feel children should be taught with love. But the way that Bible verse is used and taught is very confusing.
I believe that the Bible has literal and figurative meanings. While this is not a statement of fact I am making, perhaps the rod there may not necessarily be a physical rod right, it may be a figurative rod talking more on discipline like how some will not even want to bother disciplining their child when they are wrong. Against this is me saying what it might be not a statement of fact. I hope it helps
The Bible says we would thread upon serpents and scorpions, and it is literal. I believe it is the same thing as spare the rod and spoil and the child.
Maybe check different versions? Or look out for the root words and intentionally research the meaning, to be sure the bible actually says what you think it said. Because in Africa, we are so used to taking scriptures as they were interpreted to us and not from self-study.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
Proverbs 23: 13-14. I believe that sometimes God disciplines and guides us through physical pain. The world is suffering today because of many liberal family values. We don't expect a child to have thesame understanding as an adult. Let us all be guided by the Holy Spirit and ensure we are playing our parts to help the children we have been blessed with to love God.
A lot of times we always use this scripture of the rod, but also proverbs says "Train up a child" And training involves a lot of teaching, showing, modeling and talking (explaining things to the kids).
The way the Holy Spirit has been leading me on my parenting journey is to talk, and explain why you say ''NO!'' and why you say "YES" so that the kids have an understanding of what you are talking about. I always remind myself that these kids just got here on earth, they only have 3-6 years experience.... So obviously, they have no idea what they are doing and the consequences of their action.
And yes, parenting is alot of work when you are intentional about the type of "Adults" you want to produce.
Am looking forward to what you will be sharing about parenting, because I have seen how your children behave and they are so good. I love your results.
There's so much you have touched on in the video and these are points can be applied in every scenario. Many of us parents just need an orientation change. We need to take our minds off hitting children. We are so stuck in our ways and then wonder why our children are difficult.
Let's take hitting children off the table and be willing to do better for our children and the society at large. When we do better, we’ll be amazed about how much growth we’ll see ourselves experience.
Mama! I am part of your Choir 👏🏾👍🏾🎊. I am on this journey. Recovering, relearning and readjusting. The process is not for the faint hearted.
There was a period in my childhood when my mom hit me a lot, I was under 10years. problem was I use to talk too much, I would repeat words from movies and just what I heard around me including insults (I didn't know it at the time) this one time I told my mom my Dad was having an affair 😂😂 he was not ooo, I just heard the word from a movie (she did not hit me for that though 😅)... Personally I did not and still don't feel bad about the beating because like your last point my mom after hitting me did not shut me out, she would hit and explain why 😂 and even treat me to something after some time. My mother would only hit us for very serious matters, so hitting was rare and usually after several warnings, but she never kept malice she would even be the first to talk to you ❤... learnt a lot, I don't have energy to hit kids 😂😂 the asignment now is just to pray for wisdom and grace to handle them when they get here and do my research as well
Well, if the Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child, then I will take God’s word literally. Of course, not hitting or abusing without cause. Many times, we twist scriptures to suit our own mindset which isn’t right. If we can take a scripture on faith literally, then we should take every other one literally. You see people coming up with different suggestions like; we’re in 2024, we’re raising Gen alpha kids etc...God’s word is God’s word, regardless of times and seasons. Plus that’s why you should have a walk with God as he will give you instructions on how to deal with your OWN children. For a particular child, God can tell you, this one, when he errs, just talk to him, but you see the other one, when he errs, don’t spare him for he knows what he’s doing. God will tell you, tor this child, he must never be put in a boarding school. Specific instructions....Don’t use someone else’s specific instruction and make it yours. Let Gods word instruct you on how to discipline your kids. They are your kids after all not anyone’s child and each child’s destiny is custom made for them. You can’t say the same way you raise a strong willed child is the same way you will raise a compliant child, children are not the same. What worked for your sisters kids might not work for yours. And like I said earlier, get your own word for your kids. And most importantly, Gods word NEVER FAILS, even if every method fails.
Lol.
What makes one child strong willed and another compliant? Children are largely a product of thier environment and it's nurture that shapes thier personality.
Best comment yet 👏👏👏 God’s word is God’s word!
Wisely spoken
The comment am waiting for
God bless you sis this was mind blowing educating and may the holy spirit give you more teachings to share with us and help us be better parents ......make it a series 😊
Please I need more of this, thank you.
I have two kids a 2year old and 9months old, it’s been a lot, exactly what I need now. Thank you
I knew before becoming a mum i didn't want to exhibit the harsh beating i received growing up. It suppresses you emotionally, gives you anxiety and breaks your confidence. Parents are supposed to be a safe place. There is a difference betweeen respect and reverence for parents and literally being afraid. Its hard to remain calm when your toddler is throwing tantrums but i have allowed it to help me grow in the fruit of the spirit, its tough! I get on his level open my eyes wide lol and explain he can't have .... because of .... Or i validate that i know he is sad because of xyz but that doesn't mean he should act out in such and such way. I give consequences and take things away and daily i ask the lord to help me. Parenting without the Holy Spirit is harder so as believers we have an advantage by his grace 🙏🏽
Sidenote, its also not okay in homes where children are being beaten mercilessly whilst the parents are also demonstrating behaviours that arent christlike infront of their kids its sheer double standards. I'm talking infidelity, insulting each other, domestic violence and lieing etc. You can't be beating your kids with vim whilst lacking accountability as a parent with blatant sinful behaviours that your children can also see and that God can see.
To add I love everything you've shared how do I like this video 100 times! In child development we learn about the big burst of brain development in a toddler from 18 months. They have NO idea how to regulate their emotions and that's why tantrums over little things are so irrational to us. As parents we have to teach our children how to manage their emotions and express it in a way that is healthy. This is a growing conversation and as they grow with understanding we insert biblical principles. I worked in a school once in year 1 and they had a quiet corner with emotions on a chart for when a child starts feeling angry,sad, frustrated etc. Once they get there we had to give them a moment then one of us goes there and talks them through what's going on. The teacher of that class was training to become a counsellor and that method she used was a game changer. We had the best class in that year group, we could echo those things back to parents and the parents were so fond of us as staff. Gentle parenting is not permissive parenting. There are consequences for wrong behaviour but it shouldn't be abusive. It's only when I got married I started to heal and deal with suppressed emotions. Any small thing growing up, slap,kick, shut up and get out. Never given the room to express. We banter about growing up in an African household but some things aren't to be repeated.
This is soo good. Thank you for sharing so important. 😊
God bless you so much for putting this out 🙏🏾🙏🏾
God bless you for this topic ma'am. I really needed it. As a single lady I told myself that hitting and shouting won't be for me. But as a mom of 3 kids, 8, 6 , and 5 years old respectively I find myself doing otherwise though not hitting but shouting all the time specially due to being overly stressed. Thanks for the topic ma'am, learnt a lot.
Please more of it❤
Very beautiful topic. Tolulope, you are really a solution
Thank you aunt Tolu, I want more of these content please.
Thank you for sharing. Please do share more about gentle parenting. This would not be my first time of hearing about gentle parenting, however it has not been an easy thing for me to do (I have a three year old)
This video is very informative, it has changed my mindset on this topic.
Thank you ma.
Sis God bless you. I see this as the voice of God speaking to me . Am guilty on this I will change today in Jesus name. I just made a decision today never to do that anymore. Thank you sis God bless you
I hear you Tolulope. You said your son came in strong. So how did you discipline him? I hear your passion for this topic but didnt really get practical tips that apply in the moment of chaos. For example its bath time. Your 2 year old son starts rolling on the floor screaming refusing to bath. Will time out or face the wall work for a 2 year old? Or your 2 year old throws a big tantrum, scatters the house, break things. Will face the wall work then? Or your two year old gets angry for not getting something he wants and hits the younger sibling. What do you do in that moment? I am using a 2 year old as an example because at least by 3,4 years old they can understand certain punishments like face the wall and have a small understanding that they are being punished for a wrong they did. But having a 2 year old grasp information is difficult. Almost impossible. Thank you.
Thanks for this qestion. I am also battling with the same issue and i will appreciate if Tolulope tells us how she does it. Mine is in a stage everything is ball and i am finding it so hard to stop all the throwing and spoiling.
You cannot tell a child to face the wall again because it is now a punishment that affects a child's mental health because in that time, the child will have different thoughts running through their head, and it's also a period of seclusion from others, which is a red flag for children's development. Every child is different, and all homes are not the same, and all methods do not work for all children. Hitting a child is also a no-no. My prayer is that God will guide each parent on how to raise their children to be godly so that society can be a better place. A society free of drug users, abusers, liars, and all. God help us. Amen
People do say what works for one person does not work for another person but she has given pretty very valid practical points in this video. Please take some time to listen again. For example, being invested in quality information and research on how to do better when raising children. How many books have you read? How many articles about your growing child have you read? These information make you aware of the developmental phases of your children and what to expect. With that, nothing catches you unawares and you are more sensitive and aware of your children and how best to address issues. She also mentioned putting yourself in their shoes. Many times we forget that children are humans too. We look down on them and invalidate their feelings. When we find ourselves struggling with our children, we need to take a step back to assess the situation and make better judgments. There’s so much she has touched on in the video and these are points that can be applied in every scenario. Many of us parents just need an orientation change. We need to take our minds off hitting children. Let’s take it off the table and be willing to do better for our children and the society at large.
My heart is full, thank you ma❤
Thank you Tolu,I really appreciate this
Thank you!
God bless you ma for this.
Please can you speak on “spare the rod and spoil the child” Bible verse.
Because that’s one scripture most people bring up in arguments about hitting children.
Thanks for this ...this video is for me
This video is really informative
God bless you for sharing.
Thank you ma
I really appreciate this
You are filled with wisdom
Thank you Mama
Welldone Solutions ✌️ ❤.
Very informative video, thanks for sharing ❤❤
By way of feedback, this tone of this video is different from the one you posted on Instagram. You said you didn't mean to be judgemental, but it did seem condescending and judgemental. I believe your purpose of sharing is to influence impact and change. Unlike this video, that wasn't communicated to me on the IG post & although I didn't comment, the comment section on IG reflects that it probably didn't communicate what you intended to other people as well. Due to the Nigerian culture, topics like this are sure to put people on edge, but your approach can disarm the defensiveness. Because like you've said, some of us didn't know better & if people like you don't talk about it, how would we know.
Just my honest review. I really am better exposed as you've shared in this video 🙏❤️❤️
Very impactful. Thank you ma'am❤
Please can you talk more on some of the examples of gentle parenting
How do you get them to see you as the boss
Thank You so much solution mama.
So much to learn already.
Thank you Solutions for sharing 🎉
Thank you solutions, learnt a lot
I love this pls share more❤
❤❤❤❤❤learnt a lot...thank you ma
Thank you so much
Please ,Yes !!!!
I want more practical tips
I love videos that teaches how to do stuff ❤❤
Let this come up more pls!
Bless you sis. I have always believed in gentle parenting. How much does God spank us as his children?
Yes, I like the topic. Come out with more
Attendance marked
Very profound.
I truly hear you ma'am. And you do have really strong points ma but will we say Jesus using a whip in the temple was physical abuse? I'm not saying to be extreme, I've always had the mindset that I'll be easy with my kids but staying with my nephews have shown me that words and punishment doesn't always do the magic. Sometimes I drag their ears or hit them at the back and I see them adjust.
Again an intelligent teacher recently taught me that withholding privileges from a child shouldn't and isn't always a form of discipline. Sometimes you intentionally withhold privileges so that the child doesn't grow up spoilt and believing that they just have whatever they want. Thank you ma
Nne u did a very good job 👍💯 here please More dear 💘 Merry Christmas 🎄
The part where one need to be on the same page where their spouses are very important. If either of the parents are not on the go with this idea of not spanking, then the result will not be there.
I pray everyone sees this video
Because everything you said🔥🔥🔥🥹🥹🥹🤍🤍🤍🤍
God bless you ma ❤️💋
❤❤❤
❤ boss mummy😂😂😂
Imagine those children that drank poison because they misplaced their mom’s phone . Please parents stop abusing your children
When you look at me outside because my child is crying omo I look at you back oooooo kids cry that's on period 😅😅😅
❤❤
❤
🥰🥰🤩
Solutions for nothing 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This was really enlightening
Thank you 😊
Hitting a child is not abuse ,not all children are the same, some will only learn after being hit.
First to comment
What about the Bible verse that says spare the rod and spoil the child. Don’t get me wrong I am against beating children I feel children should be taught with love. But the way that Bible verse is used and taught is very confusing.
I believe that the Bible has literal and figurative meanings. While this is not a statement of fact I am making, perhaps the rod there may not necessarily be a physical rod right, it may be a figurative rod talking more on discipline like how some will not even want to bother disciplining their child when they are wrong. Against this is me saying what it might be not a statement of fact. I hope it helps
The Bible says we would thread upon serpents and scorpions, and it is literal. I believe it is the same thing as spare the rod and spoil and the child.
Yes I believe so too. If the Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child, I don’t see why Gen Z or what have you generation will say otherwise
Maybe check different versions? Or look out for the root words and intentionally research the meaning, to be sure the bible actually says what you think it said. Because in Africa, we are so used to taking scriptures as they were interpreted to us and not from self-study.
@gladysogundele2528 So by this, you mean when you see a snake, you step on its head. You do that? Lol
❤