How to Effectively Co-Parent with a Narcissist
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
- Dr. Sherrie Campbell is back to shed light on this challenging subject. She offers wisdom into not giving them what they want. Plus, tips for navigating this time, how to take your power back, & what to do if they're lying to the kids. We also discuss empowering our kids, how to get the frustration out, what to expect when you get into a new relationship, and a general topic of helping our kids navigate this season of life.
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“ in the divorce, they are more committed to you and hate than they were ever committed to you in love,”. Oof I felt that. Although I have not gone through a divorce, I did go through a terrible break up and that is exactly how I felt when we finally broke up. It was crazy to me how vindictive me he was.
Felt it too, like a smack upside the head! That sentence says it all.
That quote got me too.
I feel like this is a way for Kristin to give us more information about her situation without actually giving us direct information which she could get in trouble for.
It sounds like a sad situation and one I hope gets better with time.
As a child of parents who split up when I was 11, I feel for the kids though luckily for them they have a great mum who is doing everything she can for them.
I never heard much about their divorce but I did observe what looked like, to me, an unhappy marriage on camera. I wonder if Jay works or what he does for work now. And I guess he lives nearby since she has to split time with their kids. I am always a proponent for ending things amicably. Sounds like he’s really hurt and angry. Is it because she dumped him?
Agree, this is really about K
@@HH-gv8mx I would be hurt and angry too if I made 100 million dollars and had a successful career and then decided to be a homemaker to enjoy the fruits of my labour and spend time with my kids that most people don't get and get called lazy for it. The pot calling the kettle black is what this looks like to me.
@@ania5038 I’m a little confused by your message. You mean SHE was calling HIM lazy?
@@HH-gv8mx Yes
Only a few minutes in and this brings back so many unpleasant memories. I prayed hard for 18 years. There is NO dealing with someone of this behavior.
When I finally blocked him on my phone when my son was 19 1/2 was a feeling that I can’t even put into words…..
Please do one on step parenting with a narcissistic! I have a step daughter who is the sweetest little girl in the world, but her mom is extremely narcissistic and I struggle with how to cope with it. Please help and come back on Kristin’s podcast. Thanks for the amazing interview.
It will never end!!! As the kids get older they seem to see things very very clearly. You having to deal with this person becomes so much less important especially once the kids are old enough and you can see the kids see things VERY CLEARLY!
“ Sadly, kids will always align with the parent they are most afraid of” they always fight for the parent that is hurting them over the good parent . Very sad.
@@HH-gv8mx Not always true and not in my case.
Love this!! Yes please bring her back for a step-parent episode!!!!🩷
100%
Yes!!!
YES!!!!
You’re an icon for having her on!!! This was amazing thank you so much
I didn't believe my friend when she told me my son would figure out that his dad is a narcissist without any help from me. So I never said a bad thing about him, never hinted that his dad is a jerk. She was right. He figured it out on his own. I never said a word. Granted, he was 19, but his father left us when he was 16. So it took less than 3 years for him to put it all together.
I was raised by a narcissist mother and an otherwise abusive father. This has been so helpful to hear, and I had a breakthrough moment processing this today. Thank you. I look forward to more of these podcasts. ❤
I hug you 🫂🫂🫂
This was amazing! My ex was abusive and I’m an extremely introverted person I literally feel like I crumble even thinking about trying to having any kind of conversation with him this was so validating in so many ways! This was literally exactly what I needed to hear today!! Thanks so much!
I am crying 😢this episode means soooo much to me ❤Thank you for bringing this to light
I've had horrific relationships with narcissists, but thank God my children are older and I don't have to deal with this nightmare anymore. Document everything, my lawyer said to even document the weather that day. Tuesday the 4th, cloudy with a chance of rain today and 100% chance of having to tolerate my narcissistic ex. Lol
i don't even have kids but this was BRILLIANTLY GOOD.
Children see everything. Don’t talk badly about the other parent, even when it’s hard not too. But it’s truly sad that we don’t go around people that mistreat us, but our children are forced by law to go to a parents house that is mistreating them…
Minutes into this episode and it spoke very deeply to me. It’s a hard subject that only a few can understand fully. The fact that this related to me in every aspect dealing with one, made me feel not alone but also not great that other people have endured this type of trauma and pain as well. I have 2 children with one, I left him. We fought in court for 10 years back and forth over custody. His mission was to destroy me. The fakest person I’ve ever met in the planet. Out of the 2 kids, my oldest started to see his truth around 11-12yrs old. Eventually she didn’t want to return to his house and he manipulated my other child into hating me and to not return to my house. It has now been 4 years and he completely alienated my daughter from me and her only biological sister and my whole side of the family. My oldest has been living with me and has gone through therapy and all of the emotions that have came with this. It’s extremely sad and would not wish dealing with a narcissist on anyone. This is a wonderful episode.
This is so powerful. Thank you Kristin for having her on. I can confirm it doesn’t end. It decreases even after the narcissist passes away. I’m just waiting for their teen brains to form, so waiting on 25. Yes any addiction goes hand and hand and the court system supports the addict more than the sane one. You just only have to embrace the concept of time.
This was really great! I will add when the kids are older and more mobile the control is still bad esp if the kids depend on the parent financially. From my experience, the abuse stops when you are financially and emotionally independent.
Wow I wonder if Jay has to pay Kristen child support.
My child in first grade was told if he was bad at school and made bad grades he could livd with me(mom) and if he was good and had good grades he would live with his Dad. Because we were going through child custody. My son is 19 now, but just listening to this brings back memories, it’s truly traumatic, but he knows I did everything to fight. I kept files upon files of notes and recordings, and then I learned what narcissism was, and it was game over. Give no reaction, and no energy and they will leave you alone, of course they try a few times before giving up.
I have a 19 year old and went through the trauma all of these years. Sitting here, listening to this is just jaw dropping. it’s like someone’s talking about my life and what I’ve been through in detail.
Hopefully you’ve blocked your ex on your phone as I did months ago. I just feel so sad for my son and the hurt and anger that he has from his father…..
Thank you thank you thank you for doing this podcast! EVERY single thing yall hit on is sooooo accurate! Especially the getting ahead of the truth! I was worried for so long that people would believe my ex or simply think I was really abused because I stayed for so long. And a classic narcissist is always so much nicer to others! This made me feel so heard!
So happy she's back.
It’s mind blowing how true this is. It’s always hard to see the difference in my daughter when she comes back from a visit with her dad. I love the advice of giving them that time to detox or unload after a visit. Great episode and it helps to know we are not alone! Keep fighting the good fight. ❤
This was so insightful for me. I have a narcissistic mother, I have only just realized this now at 40 years old. She has no empathy. I have always felt like I’m not enough and I have been fighting a loosing battle trying to make her proud. She seems to be content when I’m suffering and whenever I feel like I’m doing good she swoops in and manipulates me and knocks me right back down, she does this with a kind smile on her face and tells me she will pray for me. She has always told me I’m not smart so I have to depend on my looks to get a man to take care of me. She put me on diet pills when I was 12, always focused on my looks and my body as what my only thing going for me. I was bulimic for 10 years, I was blamed for my insecurities and have been completely abandoned by my mother over and over, then she pretends to miss me only to sabotage my life once again. She does all of this while acting like she is the victim who has to pray for her problem child. Me. Watching this video may have just changed my life. I have had a real awakening. Thank you so much for this. ❤️
Wow what a great conversation. The accuracy can be downright scary. But it's so important to work through these things. It's not much of a choice. If you have a narcissist in your life eventually you just can't ignore the damage being done any longer. So proud of Kristin for being willing to have these talks. So helpful.
This video described my dad to a T. He’s older now but still has never had remorse/ accountability for how abusive he was. Thankfully he doesn’t have the energy anymore to be as angry as he used to be. I just avoid certain topics with him since the truth hurts his ego too much.
Do not have expectations. I could talk about this for hours as a mom with three kids.
Divorced a narcissist almost 10 years ago. He ruins every holiday for my kids, doesn't allow them to go to church bc it's a "cult", acts like dad of the year at sports but calls them as*holes behind closed doors. This explains my ex to a T
So typical 🤣 I am sorry... that is terrible. But it is so true...
watching someone go through dealing with this is soooo hard. you were spot on for what these people do to their kids co-parents. thank you for validating!
That time to give your child space to detox, is sooooo true.
This has been my life for the past two years!
Absolutely amazing this interview. 👍🏻👍🏻Thanks Kristin 🙂
I know of a Narcissist who actually walked away from a marriage & is estranged from one of her sons, who took a stand. I walked away years earlier & almost had to end my own marriage because of her tremendous toxic influence. This podcast...much needed & brave.
Yes!!! The texting constantly!! Doesn’t matter if the kids are with me or not. And they’re novels about things that haven’t even happened. Makes sense because he needs my attention because he is single and I’m not.
Obviously Kristen’s ex must be hard to deal with. I wonder why that is… is he still angry that he was dumped? Is he dating anyone or just jealous bc she is?
Thank you for this. Got a lot out of this as an adult who’s suffered from having a narcissistic mother. Definitely going to look into her books! Appreciate you both!!!
SO happy to have this podcast, we all can benefit from this chat
All so interesting and helpful. Please make it a monthly thing ! ❤ Kristin, wish you all the best xx
When they act nice. That’s a red flag, they want something. Your wrong if you say no.
💯💯💯💯
ABSOLUTELY!!!!
I feel like she knows my story. This is what is happening to me now.
Oh wow. This is all so true. So glad you did this. I feel seen.
My ex ROUTINELY calls my children liars.. just as you described it. Anyone else EXHAUSTED?!
I absolutely need the coparenting episode, from both bio and step pov. I’ve been trying to teach my fiancée how to deal with his ex and now I’m just going to show him this. Aaand I’m going to for sure start reading Dr Campbells books. So helpful.
“ In the divorce they are more committed to you in hate than they were ever committed to you in love.” Wow. Just wow.
Good episode, much needed advise
Thank you
Hug to all dealing with this abuse 😢
There’s way of playing chess with narcissist and allow them to think they are in control. I will say having everything documented is the best in court, because while they talk on a hamster wheel, you simply have facts. I also say let them talk mess about you because I promise you people around them eventually see the truth.
Wow! It’s like y’all are describing everything I’ve gone through with my ex. It is difficult co-parenting with him but thankfully I have a TPO against him so I never have to see him or talk to him directly..
This was mindblowing...my boy is 12.
6more yr to go...
Such a great episode wow. loved it. Learned a lot..
An amazing informative episode...your on a roll with this podcast👏👏👏👏❤
It’s sad and sickening when you think about it. Being an empathetic we will never understand it, because when we know we even hurt someone, we try and do better.
People always think their ex is a “narcissist.”
Personally, I realized one was based on all the patterns and personality traits. I'm on good terms with all of my exes. But one man I was with was absolutely a narcissist and it doesn't matter if people think I'm misdiagnosing him. What was important was recognizing this and taking the many steps to heal from the PTSD that relationship caused. The word is being used more as people start to learn about NPD through their unfortunate experiences with someone who is a narcissist. I knew nothing about it before my own experience.
The kid takeaway info 🤯it’s so validating to know experiencing this I was never crazy these are categorically narcissist behaviors that the expert has repeatedly seen, so awful for the kids
Love this podcast❤
Whatever you do don’t pray your children life away, I feel like my boy grew up quickly because of all of this.
I have to comment on the Hero bread lol….im obsessed with the tortillas and buns!
Yay Kristin love your potcasts! ❤
I don't want to win anymore and I haven't for a long time but that's killing me and my kids. He won everything and is trying to take the last bit of access, if I lose anymore of them I don't know how to keep going anymore. He fooled the courts, the school, all of the important people in our case. I'm so lost
This was exactly what I went through with my ex-wife. She was so good at making it appear that we were mutual combatants. It was so bad, she ran me out of money and I just gave up. I decided it was so bad for my mental health and so hard on the kids, that I have not seen my own kids in 2.5 years. I feel so bad for my kids but life was impossible attempting to co-parent with my ex. If I kept my parenting time, no doubt I’d be 6 feet under by now
i actually do get narc vibes from jay (and I've dated and been engaged to one, as well as my dad). I think Jay is different off-camera, and not all narcs are overt. He seemed pretty dismissive and invalidating. Just a hunch.
I agree from what I saw of him on the reality show. I never liked him and wondered what she ever saw in him. From what I saw he seemed negative, dismissive, rude, condescending and like an Eyore. Like no personality, no energy, no warmth, just blah blah blah negative all the time.
Actually Narcs are quiet the charmers to the public, so sweet/kind/supportive but a complete 180' behind closed doors
@@sairahsultan8028 Humans are varied and not every narc is a charmer. They can be charmers but they aren’t always. Also when one has dealt with narcs and has gone through the healing process, then they tend to see right through their public persona.
Yup. There is a reason one of his former teammates said he was the worst teammate they ever had.
@@Blahlalovely yes not always but something to be mindful of, its what makes their target lose their mind, how the rest of the world can be so fooled to a facade. I don't think you need to be healed first to know the tactics, luckily people like Dr. Sherrie provide a point of reference when your at all losses. Knowledge is power.
Preaching right now! So accurate.
I left my ex by moving out of the state. I knew that he would make my life a living hell through the kids if I stayed and divorced him.
Years later he divorced me, on his terms because otherwise, I might have ended up dead. However, I got some freedom from it and didn't ask for anything.
Some people aren't just narcissists, they are sadistic individuals with severe psychological issues. They cannot be reasoned with, criticized or dismissed.
Love Love this show!❤
“If you love your other side parent than you don’t love me” I hope there’s a special place in hell for parents that manipulate children like this
Oohhh this is excellent!!!!
Omgosh going through this right now he’s 14 he said something that now I have to deal with wether they are true nor not but can you do more on parental alienation!! Something I was so blinded to!😢 not allowed to call his siblings his own. Like 14years of co parenting and I’m still learning;(;(
I say if those children want their moms boyfriend or husband to go to games, who sometimes is actually more involved in their life than the father, that new person deserves that and so do the children. I’m not letting a narcissist ruin another good thing in my life. If the narcissist can’t act right, then that will be on them and maybe the world can see them act a fool, but if the children want that person there, so be it. Narcissist try and take a lot of things away, that won’t be one.
Instantly clicked!
Would love to hear an episode about manifestation. Curious to know your tips and tricks on how to. Maybe some book recommendations if any ? ❤
Confused I thought she said she was on good terms with jay now, but keeps unsubtlely hinting he's a narcissist???
I think their divorce was pretty private. I never heard anything so it’s hard to assume I just saw what looked like to me and unhappy marriage play out on camera.. does Jay still have to pay her child support?
She has also stated her dad is a narcissist and her parents were divorced so ….maybe the intent is just to help parents dealing with this?
@laurencoburn9699, I’m a bit confused too…she never said anything directly but I get the hint from these generalized interviews. I wish she could say more (and SHE prob wishes she could say more), but to protect herself & especially her kiddos, she never will unfortunately. 🫤
It’s the only time they are nice! It’s when they want something from you! When you say NO……😂 *&$#@%
Pod question!!!!! It won’t let me DM you?
If you have a guy visiting from out of town (I hung out w him once in his hometown first) for a weekend do I introduce him to my friends his first visit? or leave it until the second trip/if it turns into something?
hey kristin have a wonderful day
Narcissism is genetic, but also can be a learned behavior?? Is there anyway to keep your children from developing traits bc of the other parent?!
All of these people talking about Kristin aiming this at her ex, have u thought about her dad? He is a narcissist. Maybe she relates through that experience. Just a thought. ❤
Wow. Yup 😢
This should be titled, "How to effectively co-parent with someone who thinks everyone is a narcissist."
hello everyone, there is narcissistic support group on meetup
Is Kristen talking about her ex husband?
mmmmm I'd guess 'yup' 🙃
She has said . Her dads a narcissist. He would sometimes champion her but she realized it was to make him look good.
@@creamsaroyan7358 right? I guess all of this could be both her Das and Jay
She has hinted so many times that Jay is a narcissist without ever directly saying it (that I have heard)
@@gregsthrottleshe clearly said her dad repeatedly
Narcissism is overused, some people are just more intelligent and want to retaliate against their spouse,
I found Kristin to be VERY emotionally immature in this convo, behaving like a 20-something whose frontal lobe isn’t fully developed yet. She’s completely insinuating that Jay is a narcissist. That’s unhealthy for their kids to hear one day. She should’ve kept this 💯 neutral & not been so childish/transparent. It doesn’t always have to be about her. & btw, from most of what we’ve seen of her compared to Jay, she may need to stop throwing stones on the narcissist front…
I disagree. It’s her podcast and she can say what she wants from her perspective. Plus she may have been referring to her own parents growing up throughout the episode. You’re assuming it’s about Jay. It could be, or it could be about her parents or something/someone else we don’t even know about.
@@Blahlalovely Agreed - but both things are can be true: She can say what she wants...AND there can be ramifications to her kids later. I agree at times she was referring to her own parents co-parenting her. But other times it was CLEAR it was about Jay. Helpful convo - but I think she should have taken the high road & remained more neutral-toned. She behaved like it was her own private 1:1 therapy session on her divorce...for better or for worse.
@@wendylpa Hopefully she wasn’t talking about Jay (for the sake of her kids) and hopefully her kids don’t have ramifications from what she said. We really don’t know if she was talking about Jay so that’s an opinion that it was “CLEAR” she was talking about him.
I definitely would not want her kids to have ramifications for what she said. Also I think it’s important we discuss these issues as openly and honestly as possible. I personally like how she seems real, honest, open and direct. To me it’s a breath of fresh air. I think it helps others to do the same. I honestly hope and pray she and her kids are okay and that Jay isn’t a narc but if he is, then it has to be dealt with and many others are dealing with similar situations.
@@Blahlalovely 👌
Uhhh justice for Jay
I don’t think she realizes yet, that she too, is a narcissist
That’s your opinion and my opinion is that I disagree with you, and don’t think she’s a narcissist.
I am lost, is Jay a narcissist? I didn’t watch the reality show with him….
I never got that vibe from him at all. I wouldn’t classify him as a narcissist from what I’ve seen
So hard to tell. He was just, what seemed to me, quiet and compliant 🤷♀. Kristen took center stage and Jay just went along with whatever she wanted. She was not affectionate towards him and came off as kind of indifferent or like he was annoying. It just seems like he was depressed and they were in an unhappy unhealthy marriage. He didn’t come off as a narcissist, but who knows what he was like when the cameras were off.
She said her father is one of
Kristin is a narcissist. She is the classic example of what a narcissist is.
And just like the classic narcissist she points the finger at her ex and takes no responsibility or accountability for her actions in the relationship.
I am sure her Ex husband isn’t too happy about all of this info being shared.
I'm sure he didn't think about this when he was behaving like that
This feels like a smear campaign against Jay Cutler
And yet he has never said a word directly or indirectly publically about her...
@@lmkk9118 I’m willing to bet some therapist told her he was a narcissist and she’s rode that train since.
@@Annaffable Her x-husband of 10 years
@@lmkk9118 "publically"
Hey, Im a narcissist but I always made it about my kid. And it wasn't always me making a problem...but I made it work and when she had kids with someone else, she learned what it was like to deal with a real asshole 😆
Kristen your 40 years old do you have a retirement plan?
I'm sure she does. Btw, she's got at least 20 years to go before retirement
@@Bjh-ot2xz That's great she can help her grandchildren get a toy unboxing show maybe.