i used this method many many times instinctively, it rely works, but i never thought to give it such a well articulated name :) Thanks :) Have a nice day!
The real name called the "Socratic Method," has existed for you hundreds of years and isn't widely known allowing people to falsely claim to have created something new.
@@7schlafer886 The God of Conversation and Social Skills comes to you. "I want to have a conversation" You tell him, "No" He says, "We have to fix that. Let's not turn this r*** in a m****r."
Its called autism/aspergers an intorvert can easily talk to people he chooses not to. You are an introvert not by choice but by being autistic and not able to propely communicate with neurotypical people.
Funny how showing genuine interest makes people want to talk for hours about their passions. I think the biggest challenge is being able to continue the conversation in a natural way, not letting it die out.
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@@DingDong-lh4ix Experience. The more you do it, the better you become at it. I’ve been on dates that have lasted 6 hours that involves nothing but talking. Granted there are times when you feel like you’re running out of things to say, but you have to be a quick thinker & dig up something new that they’re passionate about.
@@PARCE93 thanx for your time brother.. i will try that. But problem is i dont enjoy talking.. but i want to talk. I dont know how to overcome that feeling :(
Well that usually is because the other person is not engaged with the conversation, relationships of any kind cant be compelled so there does come a point where its beyond your control. Even if the person is being uncordial and rude, we just have to accept the situation and move to the next person.
I've used this technique a lot for about 20 years nearly. It works well with strangers but sometimes it can still be difficult to escalate and build rapport. One issue that comes up I find with this is sometimes the other person may only talk about themselves and not ask you questions in return. Often times I feel like I'm interrogating the other person or they rely on me to carry the conversation. I'd suggest also making statements that aren't questions too, because they can act as prompts for the other person to ask you more about it or even open up new things they're interested in taking about. Good vid
I've noticed that, too. My personal conviction on that is if they don't throw or hit the ball back, they aren't interested. I've had many dead end conversations, and it often boils down to the fact people just don't want to socialize. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. After throwing out several subjects, and getting nowhere, I'll exit by saying it was nice to meet them. But to be fair, when people DO know how to use the ping pong method with you, that makes for some great conversation.
@@KevvoLightswift I agree. I used to try too hard to ask more questions in an effort to create something but yeah I'd say you're right. At the end of the day we can't vibe with everyone, but I suppose those difficult interactions make it easier to see who who do get on with.
@@KevvoLightswift Yo don't make friends while talking to strangers. You make friends by meeting people with shared interests, and there you don't have to apply conversational tricks.
@@surajsuresh6332I fell you and I also feel like it depends You could tell if people aren't interested by their body language or how much they contribute to the conversation.
I instinctively used this method once I became more social. Thing is, I can ask a person about their interests and let them talk about them on and on and on but at some point it felt weird just asking questions. So now I ask people about something and then share my experiences with them about that topic if I have any.
samee... i usually end up oversharing. bcs most of the times when i show interest about someone's life, they keep talking about themselves and not ask back.
Uh, he was suggesting doing exactly that. But still, always asking questions is gross/ creepy /controlling. People want to ALSO Be able to take turns leading the conversation and doing so means they get to ask you questions. Or there might be periods of silence
I don't need to watch the video, I understood perfectly from the thumbnail. I just have to approach people and spit in their faces. This is going to work wonders!
I'm a huge introvert and i struggled with making small talk and talking to people in general. I used this video and the ford method one on some friends and now they talk to me more often now. I've also used it at a wedding and was able to talk to my family more too. Thank you so much🙏🙏🙏
@@MrRedrick94i'm not an expert, but i think most of the introverts have social anxiety, bc isolating yourself, make you have no experience with socializing and also have some fear doing it as well, but idk, maybe i'm wrong. (Sorry for my bad grammar, it isn't my main language)
😂the problem is that people that watch these kind of videos are NOT interested in the person, they just want to have s e x..😂 or are autistic who don't have emotions to have a natural convo
The problem with conversations rn is that people focus so much on what they have to say, which is so selfish, that they forget there's another person in the conversation. This method changes this, it makes you create some kinda connection. That's awesome
I use this method every time I meet new people, but I often find that it results in the other person talking a lot about their passions and interests (which is great!), but simultaneously forgetting to ask questions back (which can be frustrating if the conversation goes on for a long time). I think for some people meeting someone who listens attentively and is interested in asking lots of questions is quite rare and special, and therefore they forget to ask questions in return. Of course, this is not really a bad thing! You got the chance to learn about the person, and they got a chance to talk about what they love.
I’ve had many interactions like this where I’ve been able to ping pong the conversation really well and ask questions that revealed really fun / interesting answers! However, the same wouldn’t really happen back as much😅. How did you deal with not taking it too personal if you converse with someone that doesn’t fully reciprocate with asking questions to get to know you ?
Yes, people remember how you made them feel - so if you made them feel interesting, understood, and valuable, it will likely result in more connection with them later down the road. Even if they got too excited to ask you any questions in the first convo. That being said, it's important to be able to recognize someone who is simply using you for attention and validation. It will become apparent if you stay in touch and they still never ask about you, or if you have a really long initial convo with them where they just monologue forever. If you find yourself wanting to contribute more to the convo but you can't even get a word in edgewise, take note, and don't invest too much time or energy into that person. They will end up leeching on your empathy 😬
@@akikogreen8342 as someone who doesn't ask questions, I'm sorry lol. it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that it's difficult for me to ask questions because I don't want to feel like I'm prying? but now I know I need to give it back
@@akikogreen8342most people don’t study these methods of socializing on RUclips, so that’s something to keep in mind. Most people will respond to this type of conversation because they’re human, not because they’re studying their conversational skills. I’ve definitely left conversations thinking “omg I talked so much, I didn’t ask them about themselves.” After all, you are the one constantly ping ponging back to them. Sometimes you have to re-assert your place in the conversation by talking about yourself even if they don’t ask. Find an opening for your own opinion as if they asked. Plus, showing interest in someone helps to foster long term relationships. So even if they don’t ask about you today, they might tomorrow or next week.
I picked up on this method by listening to Theo Vons podcast. He does this same thing during his conversations. My own personal touch to having better conversations now is to pretend I’m on a podcast 😂 it may sound funny but it works! I feel so much more engaged and attentive when having conversations with new people and it’s made me step out of my comfort zone a lot, socially speaking.
Tips for Making Good Conversation with a Stranger. Comment on a topic common to both of you at the moment: the food, the room, the occasion, the weather. ... Comment on a topic of general interest. ... Ask open questions that can't be answered with a single word.
Showing genuine personal interest, asking viewpoint questions, sharing how I feel or relate to their responses, and not appearing to be a cross examiner. Listen carefully, have good eye contact, be sincere, don’t interrupt when they respond or turn the conversation to be all about yourself
I've been applying this for several years now. It's a method I always used to talk to strangers and it's been successful 90% of the time. The other 10% are people who just didn't feel like chatting. Interesting to know someone's coined a term for it. It's definitely helpful.
Ngl this is like one of the most helpful videos I have watched. Most people say,”Just go up and talk to somebody,” but this is telling us how to make good conversation. Honestly great video and I hope to see more!
Sometimes, the real trick is to actually want to get to know the other person, then the flow of questions and answers will flow out naturally. The only problem is when you're the one making conversation and the other person isn't as into the conversation as much as you do. Then it starts to feel awkward. I personally don't wanna waste my time if the other person doesn't seem interested, whether or not it's their intentions. Most people are introverted, so maybe that's why, but conversations are called conversations because two or more people are talking back to each other. If there isn't any verbal feedback, you can hardly call that a conversation.
Isn't this just how any conversation should work? Ask a question, show an interest in their answer, ask another question if they don't ask you one. Surely it's common sense
Common sense can be really subjective. It’ll differ based on where you were raised, what your parents taught you, what you learned in school, who your closest friends are, etc
I do this at work! I work for a restaurant that only sells chicken and isn’t open on Sundays, and one thing I pride myself on is being able to talk to anyone 😂 the feeling of success when I finally break through even the toughest cookies is awesome! In all honesty, I feel like genuine human connection is so important. I feel like a lot of people just want to be heard, the amount of times people have confided in me about their lives is more than I could count. 10/10 this method really helps conversations and connection start to become natural for you
i’m autistic and i’ve been watching on repeat this since last year, this has helped me so much with learning how to communicate and now i’m in a happy relationship, that’s because of this video, i wouldn’t know how to talk with other people otherwise, so thank you
I learned this when I was younger because if you don't lead the conversation and prime the other person to add their own input they will just sit there giving short non substantive answers while you deadlift the entire social interaction. I think this is more important now where a lot of first time interactions are online and you can't rely on visuals and body language to steer conversation.
Over the past free years I’ve naturally figured out this method but this video is so helpful and would’ve explained it perfectly if I hadn’t known the technique already. I’m not autistic but I do struggle a lot with social skills and am close with autistic people and I can see this type of video being so efficient in explaining the method
Ping pong is easy, but at some point, you can define yourself as either a talker or a listener. I know my fellow listeners can relate when I say this, it sucks sometimes haha. Never being able to tell a full story or never being able to fully get your point across without being cut off and the conversation changes
As I've recently taken a fascination with language learning I have recently opened up more to people at my work or in my life who I know are bilingual. People warm up to you very quickly if you take an interest in not only them as a person but showing interest in their native language. I've learnt phrases in Samoan, Tongan, Hindi and Punjabi which I think are very difficult languages to learn for an English native speaker. Now I absolutely love the laughs and smiles I get when I simply greet a stranger in their native language. Nobody expects the nerdy, introverted white guy to suddenly greet people in Hindi or Punjabi, and it instantly opens people up to pleasant, friendly conversation about language and culture. I can't believe I've spent my whole life up until this point just closed off to these opportunities for what seems like a massive barrier but is actually much easier than you think and you'll feel a lot better for it.
Absolutely legend. After watching countless channels on psychology, philosophy etc. I came across with yours and right in this first video I've watched, I felt extremely comfortable. Many others were ruthlessly depicting interpersonal communication as a scary, dangerous minefield (including the most popular ones such as The School of Life), and it quickly starts to feel as a complete shit-show. I can't describe how eye-opening and calming this one is. Thank you so much.
Yeah, but it's still a lot harder than it sounds, and it only works under the implication that you two have common interests. What if they bring up something you just don't care about? Then you have to feign interest and it makes the whole conversation disingenuous. I have had conversations where I could not find anything in common, and when we finally found a remotely common interest, I latched onto the subject desperately which made the conversation even more awkward,
Its all about mindset. If you become genuinely interested in people and in learning new things then asking about something you never really cared for might lead you to like something you never thought you would. For example I don’t really care about cars but I let my friend nerd out about manual transmission cars and how to drive them. Now I’m a little interested in trying to drive one. Get an interests for learning new things and understanding new perspectives and it will greatly benefit your social life. 👍
If I care about it too, then it's a plus. However, what actually interests me is listening to someone talk about something they care about. That'll lead to something else they reveal about themselves and then another and so it goes. It really is fun getting to know a person and what makes him or her tick. If the other person isn't being the same way with me, I talk with someone who is. It's easy my friend, and if you need to pause for a second, silences are fine too. If the other person is genuinely having a conversation with me, they understand it's a two-sided conversation. There's no need to put the entire onus of the conversation on you. Honestly, there's no onus on either me or the other person at all, although I do understand how sometimes it can feel like there is.
Both responders to this comment nailed it imo. To be genuinely curious about things you don’t already have some understanding of / interest in opens up the whole world. People like talking about themselves and their interests once they feel that it’s being invited (ok, some people don’t need the invitation. They’re annoying, but I digress). As for cultivating curiosity for the world… I don’t know of a simple two-step method that just works, but I have found that doing less in my days and allowing my mind to just wander / be a little bored (this is huge imo), then I start to wonder more :) maybe try doing a little less of what you like to do and see if something sprouts in those quieter moments. Might take a little while, but it could change your life if it leads to more interesting conversations with others!
I feel like extroverted people who are great at socializing, apply strats like this one subconsciously. I'm introverted and struggle a lot with talking to strangers. Making friends just kinda happened when conversations went well without me noticing why exactly, they went well. The weird thing is, in online multiplayer games, I'm super social. I love it when people join me on chat benches and I'll invite people to chat too. I didn't even have to think about it. Everything would just happen on it's own. I never understood the difference but this video makes it a lot clearer. It's always been asking questions until the discovery of a subject one of the conversation parties can happily info dump about, while party 2 is interested in hearing more. An instrument they play, a pet they have, an anime they are passionate about etc. Before party 2 adds to the same subject or switches to a subject related to it. I never knew to consciously do this in real life to a stranger, but now that I know exactly how it works I can give it a try.
This method was what I did when I had my job application interview and it worked really well for me, there was no dead air in the interview and it flowed naturally within me and my interviewers. 😊
I did this unintentionally and we are now going on a year of living together. I love my boo thang… it’s interesting how easy introverts are to commit once you get us to open up. ❤️😂
i do this already, its really great advice. i like doing this especially with shy peeps, i think they take a little time, so direct interest goes a long way.
This has been my default method of communication my entire life. I don't think of it so much as a method that can be mechanically employed, but a fundamental disposition toward reality (in this case people) where you are genuinely curious and not forcing empty questions that you yourself are not interested in. To be fair, the minimum requirement (for me) is a sincere desire to connect...but, even then, it helps if you find topics inherently interesting - or, most optimally, it should be a "win-win": ask the questions/engage in the conversation in a way that is genuinely interesting for you and the other person.
You should do an in depth video on introductions or “starting a conversation” and ways to bring up something based on the environment and how well you know the person.
Im an adult and most people would see me as a "childish nerd", because programming is my job and hobby, I also play "nerdy" video games and card games like Yu-Gi-Oh. People used to think that im very shy, but I wasn't really shy, I just didn't care to talk with other people and even less about "casual" topics and so I never started any conversations with strangers or ended them very quickly by lying, for example when someone asked me which video games I play currently, I would say something silly like "nothing specific", until the stopped with the questions and moved on. About a year ago I met a old childhood friend, she doesn't do any of this "nerdy" stuff and we have nothing in common. But since we are childhood friends and we didn't see us in a very long time, she wouldn't stop asking and wanted to have an actual conversation with me. Then I did something, that I never did before: I actually listend to the things she talked about, even if I thought that I don't care about these topics at first and then I realized that it is actually fun to listen to her and learn new things and new point of views. So I continued to talk with her and started to ask questions about the things she said, because I was actually curious to learn more about her, I think it was very similar to this "Ping Pong Method". While I still don't care about conversations with most other people, I had many conversations with this specific person since then and we met regulary to talk about stuff that I usually wouldn't talk or know about.
I also have used this one a lot without having a name to it, but i’d also call it “drill deeper” as an alternative to ping-pong. Basically that part of asking a question, hearing their answer, then drill deeper on their answer with questions to better understand them - and then relate it to my own experience for showing how i feel about it, before returning back to their previous line of dialogue to follow on new tangents. The main intent is to “drill deeper” past the surface question to start getting introspective responses or encouraging deeper details
Sir you seems professional in this method, could you give me some useful tips how to start learning this at the age of 19 still struggle on talking with people
Video summary: The ping-pong method is a way of talking in which both interlocutors feel comfortable and the conversation flows naturally. It is important to ask questions and join the conversation to show interest in the interlocutor. An example of the use of this method is the successful opening of a forbidden interlocutor to talk about his hobby.
- 00:00 The ping pong method is a way to have a conversation that makes both parties feel comfortable and the conversation continues naturally. - 01:21 Use the ping pong method in conversation to ask ongoing questions and show your interest. - 02:45 A man used the ping-pong method to talk to a stranger and learned a lot about his cats. - 04:07 Using the ping-pong method, the author was able to strike up a conversation with Uncle John and learn about his life and interests.
I remember vividly doing this subconsciously while talking to an old relative of mine. He seems disinterested at first but then started opening up about his younger days when he used to sail by boat and work in other countries
In the commute a old man looked into my phone (i was browsing Amazon for headphones) _He said did you find what you wanted?_ I said no.. Dude talked whole journey about headphones... That was the most fascinating about how he just ASKED QUESTIONS
OMG Its revolutionary. Never before the conversation needed two people to exchange questions and answers. I used to stand alone in a room and throw rocks at people through the window. Never made any friends :( Now I will finally be happy and ask people about cats for 15 minutes and hope that they will open up! Thanks PING-PONG!
:D I've always used this and didn't even know it was a thing :D I can tell that this really works and the conversation gets so interesting for both sides!!
Some thing I would add to make this method more effective. You don't need to latch on to the first topic of conversation, especially if you are not interested in a conversation about cat like in the example. You can circle through a few topic until you find something you and the other person care about. Secondly conversation tend to feel more deep when people express what they feel about something and both party can reciprocate this feeling. Example: "What do you do for work?" "I work as a bartender" "Funny, I'm a barista. It can get pretty hectic at times, but it's better than being boring and you don't see time pass in those moments." "Yeah, I know what you mean there was this one time...."
I find more accurate this: Oh and do you like your job? -yes i love it! Oh well i am a (imilar job)... And i really love it too. One day...(make a fake story) // -Mmm no not very much to be honest -hahaha i understand, i work as a (similar job) and it is very hard sometimes, specially when... (Common complaints) Just to connect mlre with the person before running
@@skallittor5478 oh gosh, making up fake stories can get you into trouble. It also can be obvious when somebody is lying, which would wreck the conversation and potential for them trusting you
@@sillygoose6238 nah, i dont think it is that deep like in movies. For these moments it is good to lie i guess, because no one ask anything about it, no one really cares about your hobbies or job, it is all just a test to see how quick/fluent you are talking and how interesting you are, the details doesn't matter
It is more about being genuinely interested in what other the person is saying. People like to talk, we have more talkers than listeners in our society. Asking a related question to what someone is saying is also another way of conveying you are interested. That's it. I'm not of big talker myself, but I listen keenly and they keep going. Few rules I apply to myself when talking to strangers is 1. Stay away from controversial topics 2. Tread the middle path, being neutral if not sure. 3. Keep opinions to self, especially strong ones. If they become real good friends, I can relax on the rules.
I’m an only child, and at some point in all of my awkward interactions with people I learned this on my own. I married an introverted spouse and they always say “you’re so social”…. And it makes me feel awkward because I remember the days before I had this back and forth dialogue. I cannot thank you enough for putting this method into words that I might be able to share with them to help them understand how I’ve learned how to communicate. 🙏🏻
I agree with whatever he is saying, but the bottom line is, if the opposite person shows no interest in you, no matter whatever you do, the conversation can never go further. That’s it.
As an light autist i can say that conversating is not the difficult part . But reading the other person is or looking in their eyes is close to impossible . I knew i was autistic since i was 9 and thus learned a lot in social interactions but reading bodylanguage will always be the hardest part
Giving away tiny bits about yourself while asking questions makes a big difference. It creates points for the other person to comment on and keep the conversation going. (Yes I'm very shy)
Dude I was using this method without even noticing. I've had some problems getting to talk and meet new people for about 3 years since I grew up pretty much with no siblings and people my same age, but encouraged myself to just go up to people even if I was scared to do it, I just started talking and trying to make questions, but no to many at the same time and getting deep into the ones I felt that person looked comfortable e exited about, I started to do it with many people I saw for the first time or people i've seen before but that I didn't get to talk that much, I met a bunch of people, and including girls, I met some girls maybe looking for something for the night cause I don't really know how to hold a relationship because how skeptical and not very open I am with people😂. But at that point I wasn't really noticing the pattern of how I was talking or what questions were better and when to ask them. But this video just gave me the piece I needed and kinda like a better guide on how I was doing it Thanks so much man🙏😂
i know this works, but it makes the whole conversation all about the other person. you're in a way just pleasing them, making them comfortable. what about your own interests? what if you just don't have anything in common with the person and you letting them talk about themselves gives them a ticket to come back to you, again the topic of conversation being thier interests
Don't worry. That usually only works with men. But women in general won't come back, unless they're extroverts. And hey, you could always use more guy friends, right?
I am using this method my whole life and works well with everyone and it definitely shows my honest interest about them. I was quite dissapointed when i came into a conclusion that other people very rarely use this method on me. It just shows how the people are only interested in themselves and nothing else.
My problem is coming up with a good question on the spot. Because of past experiences in my childhood when it comes to speaking I feel like people just want me to shut up and not ask any question.
This is a actually what normal people do. It's astounding how many people who aren't kids need to learn such a basic thing. Says a lot about this generation.
Dude when did you change your thumbnail that was surely reviving your videos. Your videos are being suggested to my feed. Well your videos do really have valuable lesson though. Very glad the algo show it up again. A good reminder for me to study again this topic.
Thank you! I just wish I had heard this before because I'm just here thinking of conversations that could have been a lot better if I'd used the ping-pong method. Oh well, better late then never!
My problem is I listen, I think about what is said and then the other person instantly excepts a reply but sometimes I take some moments to process and connect the information they have given me before I form an appropriate reply. This pause makes the other person seemingly uncomfortable and they always turn away :(
Then maybe try to change that? You don't always have to become a Socrates and think deep enough and forge the most perfect reply possible. At times life is just about the flow. Give them something or anything; fast!. If someone asks you about your favourite song, you don't have to spend 10 minutes thinking about all your fav songs and how they made you feel in different phases of life and how they make you feel and after doing high-end analysis in your head you come up with one ideal song. Just say that I am listening to xyz by abc and this song resonates with me these days. You know your problem and how people react to it. You can't always make other people change and adapt according to you.
@mursalinlarik9349 I also relate to OP and I don't think it is about trying to make others change and adapt to you. In fact I do try to speak a lot faster than I normally do most of the time since it is the only way to enact anything of a conversation, but I mess it up most of the time and if I try to constantly force myself to speak before giving much thought I either become mute after a while or say something that is misinterpreted or jumble up my words. I have tried for years. I work in retail with customers all day. People say I am good at communicating but it is a mask I have to put up. Most times I just let the misunderstandings go or soak in the awkwardness. Sometimes I do respond correctly and then someone interrupts me mid-sentence and I'm not talking slow or awkwardly either. I feel like I can't win.
I do this too and it is very helpful. To add to it, if one person keeps asking the question and another keeps answering, the conversation can soon feel tiring to both persons. Instead, when the person answers my question, I’d *occasionally* add little comments about myself to invite a more two-sided and potentially deeper conversation. E.g. if they talk about their cat, I’d say I have a dog that I love dearly too and ask them if they have a picture of their cat (and show them my dog’s picture too if they do). Everyone enjoys it more if they feel like they made a real connection with a person.
I use this method to keep the conversation on the other person. I avoid divulging my own life info, issues etc. It's so easy to keep other people talking about themselves. They never catch on.
Actually I'm an extrovert in disguise. I like to talk to people, but when I look at people I get these murder ideas in head so I just want to escape. If you are a Christian, please pray that my murder ideas goes away, because I don't want to murder anyone.
When trying to talk to people about their hobbies and interests, it’s helpful to imagine yourself doing those things or maybe comparing something you enjoy that’s similar to what they’re talking about. If you have no interest or knowledge in the subject there’s always “oh that’s so cool, I honestly know nothing about _____ so it’s interesting to actually learn about it”
i used this method many many times instinctively, it rely works, but i never thought to give it such a well articulated name :) Thanks :) Have a nice day!
The real name called the "Socratic Method," has existed for you hundreds of years and isn't widely known allowing people to falsely claim to have created something new.
but it only works if the other person is interested in a conversation
@@7schlafer886 I think that goes for most conversation tactics
@@Bjoviii yuh can't force someone to have a conversation no matter how good your social skills are
@@7schlafer886 The God of Conversation and Social Skills comes to you.
"I want to have a conversation"
You tell him, "No"
He says, "We have to fix that. Let's not turn this r*** in a m****r."
I'm like a robot learning to be human. Thanks for the video!
super reliable hahahaha
this is so accurate 💀
No longer human
@@karlkoniz Are you referring to the book "No longer human"?
I can rely. For me, social interactions is like a subject what I have to learn.
I went to a party and this weird guy wouldn't shut up about my cats. He asked me about my cats for 2 hours 🤣
thats so funny
@@devineroseordialez8566 i'm dying
🤣🤣🤣
Ngl, that's impressive. How tf did he go on that long about your cats? 😂
What a weirdo 😂
If Someone answered with "im a barista, do you have any pets" i would find that to be funny as fuck 😂
I didn’t even think about that 😂
Ive done smth like that before 💀
that's exactly how i talk on accident- people usually think its funny or bizarre and don't ever wanna talk to me again lol
Some theo von type shit 😂
@@Chloe-qd5vxHAHAHAHAHAHA
You know you down bad as an introvert when you’re watching youtube tutorials on how to talk to people
Squidwards backwards
Helpfull tho after lockdown
We re npc😂😂
Better than doing nothing about it
Its called autism/aspergers an intorvert can easily talk to people he chooses not to. You are an introvert not by choice but by being autistic and not able to propely communicate with neurotypical people.
Funny how showing genuine interest makes people want to talk for hours about their passions.
I think the biggest challenge is being able to continue the conversation in a natural way, not letting it die out.
Exactly!
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But how
@@DingDong-lh4ix Experience. The more you do it, the better you become at it. I’ve been on dates that have lasted 6 hours that involves nothing but talking. Granted there are times when you feel like you’re running out of things to say, but you have to be a quick thinker & dig up something new that they’re passionate about.
@@PARCE93 thanx for your time brother.. i will try that. But problem is i dont enjoy talking.. but i want to talk. I dont know how to overcome that feeling :(
When I try to start a conversation I feel that it usually turns into an interrogation
😂😂😂
Same with me , it's kinda hard to find the right spot .. Maybe with practice we all can improve..
Embrace it. Maybe even enhance your interrogations a little.
@@surajsuresh6332yeah that's the point
Well that usually is because the other person is not engaged with the conversation, relationships of any kind cant be compelled so there does come a point where its beyond your control. Even if the person is being uncordial and rude, we just have to accept the situation and move to the next person.
I've used this technique a lot for about 20 years nearly. It works well with strangers but sometimes it can still be difficult to escalate and build rapport. One issue that comes up I find with this is sometimes the other person may only talk about themselves and not ask you questions in return. Often times I feel like I'm interrogating the other person or they rely on me to carry the conversation. I'd suggest also making statements that aren't questions too, because they can act as prompts for the other person to ask you more about it or even open up new things they're interested in taking about. Good vid
I've noticed that, too. My personal conviction on that is if they don't throw or hit the ball back, they aren't interested. I've had many dead end conversations, and it often boils down to the fact people just don't want to socialize. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. After throwing out several subjects, and getting nowhere, I'll exit by saying it was nice to meet them.
But to be fair, when people DO know how to use the ping pong method with you, that makes for some great conversation.
@@KevvoLightswift I agree. I used to try too hard to ask more questions in an effort to create something but yeah I'd say you're right. At the end of the day we can't vibe with everyone, but I suppose those difficult interactions make it easier to see who who do get on with.
Ok, but why would you want to talk to stranger ?
@@eddgar-ce3md Because if you never talked to strangers you'd never make any friends. Everyone starts off as a stranger.
@@KevvoLightswift Yo don't make friends while talking to strangers.
You make friends by meeting people with shared interests, and there you don't have to apply conversational tricks.
I love this method because it makes it so you aren’t self-centered about the topic.
But I wonder , if the other person feels 'why is this guy so interested in me ' ....
@@surajsuresh6332I fell you and I also feel like it depends
You could tell if people aren't interested by their body language or how much they contribute to the conversation.
I instinctively used this method once I became more social. Thing is, I can ask a person about their interests and let them talk about them on and on and on but at some point it felt weird just asking questions. So now I ask people about something and then share my experiences with them about that topic if I have any.
It's weird bc they didn't reciprocate
samee... i usually end up oversharing. bcs most of the times when i show interest about someone's life, they keep talking about themselves and not ask back.
Uh, he was suggesting doing exactly that. But still, always asking questions is gross/ creepy /controlling.
People want to ALSO Be able to take turns leading the conversation and doing so means they get to ask you questions.
Or there might be periods of silence
I don't need to watch the video, I understood perfectly from the thumbnail. I just have to approach people and spit in their faces. This is going to work wonders!
it’s gotta be a big spit too don’t forget that, v crucial step🙏
@@neverforgetpapa5386 Thanks for reminding me, I just got out of jail for surely unrelated issues, I'll try again and won't fail this time.
Literally judging a book by its cover lol
- Hello there!
- Emmm, hello.
- Dou you like my cat?
- W-what cat?
- Let's go to my house and I'll show you
- Nah, think I'l pass.
- Ok.
I'm a huge introvert and i struggled with making small talk and talking to people in general. I used this video and the ford method one on some friends and now they talk to me more often now. I've also used it at a wedding and was able to talk to my family more too. Thank you so much🙏🙏🙏
Just curious: what does introversion have to do with social anxiety?
@@MrRedrick94everything
@@MrRedrick94 being introverted is like not opening up and keeping to yourself so its similar
@@MrRedrick94i'm not an expert, but i think most of the introverts have social anxiety, bc isolating yourself, make you have no experience with socializing and also have some fear doing it as well, but idk, maybe i'm wrong.
(Sorry for my bad grammar, it isn't my main language)
@@chloegomes3467 no, that’s not what an introvert is. I have just read some articles. I will post one beneath this comment. :D
As a social butterly, it’s fascinsting seeing someone carefully dissect and explain to me why I’ve always had great conversations with strangers.
Literallyyyy
Same. I guess I just do this without thinking about it too.
Piss off you social butterfly 😂 she is having great conversations with strangers oh wow well done to you, congrats. Lol
As a social weird Australian hell spawned bug it’s great to learn how to talk
Yeah it’s pretty neat
I think it's all about actually being interested in what someone has to say and will use this naturally!
yeah this is key and so hard for me
@@Skateboardfreakist ikr I feel like I'm too self conscious and anxious that I forget to genuinely listen
@rsiddz6849 im just an automated answeing machine or some sort of npc, which is why I am here
@@doctorlucasp9113facts I stutter so bad
😂the problem is that people that watch these kind of videos are NOT interested in the person, they just want to have s e x..😂 or are autistic who don't have emotions to have a natural convo
This definitely works, I somehow managed to have a 3 hour conversation with a stranger about the weather, and it wasn't even awkward!
“Weather topic”. Are you British? 😂
@@ngocquynhnhuhuynh3227or German, they talk about it a lot as well
yall gotta be meteorologists
LMAO. In the end you probably said wtf iwas doing??
The problem with conversations rn is that people focus so much on what they have to say, which is so selfish, that they forget there's another person in the conversation. This method changes this, it makes you create some kinda connection. That's awesome
Finally. I have a good way to learn more about my creepy uncle.
😂😂
I use this method every time I meet new people, but I often find that it results in the other person talking a lot about their passions and interests (which is great!), but simultaneously forgetting to ask questions back (which can be frustrating if the conversation goes on for a long time). I think for some people meeting someone who listens attentively and is interested in asking lots of questions is quite rare and special, and therefore they forget to ask questions in return. Of course, this is not really a bad thing! You got the chance to learn about the person, and they got a chance to talk about what they love.
I’ve had many interactions like this where I’ve been able to ping pong the conversation really well and ask questions that revealed really fun / interesting answers! However, the same wouldn’t really happen back as much😅.
How did you deal with not taking it too personal if you converse with someone that doesn’t fully reciprocate with asking questions to get to know you ?
Yes, people remember how you made them feel - so if you made them feel interesting, understood, and valuable, it will likely result in more connection with them later down the road. Even if they got too excited to ask you any questions in the first convo.
That being said, it's important to be able to recognize someone who is simply using you for attention and validation. It will become apparent if you stay in touch and they still never ask about you, or if you have a really long initial convo with them where they just monologue forever. If you find yourself wanting to contribute more to the convo but you can't even get a word in edgewise, take note, and don't invest too much time or energy into that person. They will end up leeching on your empathy 😬
@@akikogreen8342 as someone who doesn't ask questions, I'm sorry lol. it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that it's difficult for me to ask questions because I don't want to feel like I'm prying? but now I know I need to give it back
@@akikogreen8342most people don’t study these methods of socializing on RUclips, so that’s something to keep in mind. Most people will respond to this type of conversation because they’re human, not because they’re studying their conversational skills. I’ve definitely left conversations thinking “omg I talked so much, I didn’t ask them about themselves.” After all, you are the one constantly ping ponging back to them. Sometimes you have to re-assert your place in the conversation by talking about yourself even if they don’t ask. Find an opening for your own opinion as if they asked. Plus, showing interest in someone helps to foster long term relationships. So even if they don’t ask about you today, they might tomorrow or next week.
Just make selfish statements back. That’s how conversation can work. You don’t need to be prompted to talk about yourself
I do this all the time. For people with anxiety, getting other people to talk about themselves is an easy way out lol
I picked up on this method by listening to Theo Vons podcast. He does this same thing during his conversations. My own personal touch to having better conversations now is to pretend I’m on a podcast 😂 it may sound funny but it works! I feel so much more engaged and attentive when having conversations with new people and it’s made me step out of my comfort zone a lot, socially speaking.
I'm so bad at this but my husband is so good at it... He enjoys talking with strangers so much it still surprises me to this day
Pure gold, I now see even how other people have used this with me and I always remember how charismatic they were.
Tips for Making Good Conversation with a Stranger.
Comment on a topic common to both of you at the moment: the food, the room, the occasion, the weather. ...
Comment on a topic of general interest. ...
Ask open questions that can't be answered with a single word.
Good idea, I will try to remember that.
Open ended question
I was surprised he never mentioned to "ask open ended questions".
Aks about the war, politics)
i am not mentioning the weather unless it’s extreme that’s so basic
Showing genuine personal interest, asking viewpoint questions, sharing how I feel or relate to their responses, and not appearing to be a cross examiner. Listen carefully, have good eye contact, be sincere, don’t interrupt when they respond or turn the conversation to be all about yourself
I've been applying this for several years now. It's a method I always used to talk to strangers and it's been successful 90% of the time. The other 10% are people who just didn't feel like chatting. Interesting to know someone's coined a term for it. It's definitely helpful.
I am happy to see that you are again making those videos. I’ve been watching them since a long time and had immense take-always from them. Thank you!
Ngl this is like one of the most helpful videos I have watched. Most people say,”Just go up and talk to somebody,” but this is telling us how to make good conversation. Honestly great video and I hope to see more!
It depends on the person's interest about you. Otherwise they'll reply: Yea, sure, cool, no, fine, and stay quiet.
Hey man, I was wondering what's the appropriate response to "eww... get away from me you wierdo"?
@@aryanpareek770”Haha, I appreciate it. But no, how often do you find yourself being able to recite the alphabet backwards?”
Bruh that is literally the response I got when I used to ask people for social advice 😂
Sometimes, the real trick is to actually want to get to know the other person, then the flow of questions and answers will flow out naturally. The only problem is when you're the one making conversation and the other person isn't as into the conversation as much as you do. Then it starts to feel awkward. I personally don't wanna waste my time if the other person doesn't seem interested, whether or not it's their intentions. Most people are introverted, so maybe that's why, but conversations are called conversations because two or more people are talking back to each other. If there isn't any verbal feedback, you can hardly call that a conversation.
Isn't this just how any conversation should work? Ask a question, show an interest in their answer, ask another question if they don't ask you one. Surely it's common sense
@fez! wouldn’t say “Missed out on” more like not given a chance.
Common sense can be really subjective. It’ll differ based on where you were raised, what your parents taught you, what you learned in school, who your closest friends are, etc
@fez9500 as an introvert i confirm
People who don't socialize: I'm an introvert, I'm so quirky!
Considering i had to read "how to win friend and influence people" to realise it i'd say it sadly isn't
I do this at work! I work for a restaurant that only sells chicken and isn’t open on Sundays, and one thing I pride myself on is being able to talk to anyone 😂 the feeling of success when I finally break through even the toughest cookies is awesome! In all honesty, I feel like genuine human connection is so important. I feel like a lot of people just want to be heard, the amount of times people have confided in me about their lives is more than I could count. 10/10 this method really helps conversations and connection start to become natural for you
Bro works at Walmart 💀
@@maysondae2904 I definitely make more than that 😘
You lost me at talking to another person
Sai is not robot, sai is emotion less
This is how I speak to people naturally, I never knew it had a specific name.
Wow can you add something more on what the video already covers?
i’m autistic and i’ve been watching on repeat this since last year, this has helped me so much with learning how to communicate and now i’m in a happy relationship, that’s because of this video, i wouldn’t know how to talk with other people otherwise, so thank you
I learned this when I was younger because if you don't lead the conversation and prime the other person to add their own input they will just sit there giving short non substantive answers while you deadlift the entire social interaction.
I think this is more important now where a lot of first time interactions are online and you can't rely on visuals and body language to steer conversation.
Over the past free years I’ve naturally figured out this method but this video is so helpful and would’ve explained it perfectly if I hadn’t known the technique already. I’m not autistic but I do struggle a lot with social skills and am close with autistic people and I can see this type of video being so efficient in explaining the method
Ping pong is easy, but at some point, you can define yourself as either a talker or a listener. I know my fellow listeners can relate when I say this, it sucks sometimes haha. Never being able to tell a full story or never being able to fully get your point across without being cut off and the conversation changes
As I've recently taken a fascination with language learning I have recently opened up more to people at my work or in my life who I know are bilingual. People warm up to you very quickly if you take an interest in not only them as a person but showing interest in their native language. I've learnt phrases in Samoan, Tongan, Hindi and Punjabi which I think are very difficult languages to learn for an English native speaker. Now I absolutely love the laughs and smiles I get when I simply greet a stranger in their native language. Nobody expects the nerdy, introverted white guy to suddenly greet people in Hindi or Punjabi, and it instantly opens people up to pleasant, friendly conversation about language and culture. I can't believe I've spent my whole life up until this point just closed off to these opportunities for what seems like a massive barrier but is actually much easier than you think and you'll feel a lot better for it.
Absolutely legend. After watching countless channels on psychology, philosophy etc. I came across with yours and right in this first video I've watched, I felt extremely comfortable. Many others were ruthlessly depicting interpersonal communication as a scary, dangerous minefield (including the most popular ones such as The School of Life), and it quickly starts to feel as a complete shit-show. I can't describe how eye-opening and calming this one is. Thank you so much.
Yeah, but it's still a lot harder than it sounds, and it only works under the implication that you two have common interests. What if they bring up something you just don't care about? Then you have to feign interest and it makes the whole conversation disingenuous. I have had conversations where I could not find anything in common, and when we finally found a remotely common interest, I latched onto the subject desperately which made the conversation even more awkward,
Its all about mindset. If you become genuinely interested in people and in learning new things then asking about something you never really cared for might lead you to like something you never thought you would. For example I don’t really care about cars but I let my friend nerd out about manual transmission cars and how to drive them. Now I’m a little interested in trying to drive one. Get an interests for learning new things and understanding new perspectives and it will greatly benefit your social life. 👍
If I care about it too, then it's a plus. However, what actually interests me is listening to someone talk about something they care about. That'll lead to something else they reveal about themselves and then another and so it goes. It really is fun getting to know a person and what makes him or her tick. If the other person isn't being the same way with me, I talk with someone who is. It's easy my friend, and if you need to pause for a second, silences are fine too. If the other person is genuinely having a conversation with me, they understand it's a two-sided conversation. There's no need to put the entire onus of the conversation on you. Honestly, there's no onus on either me or the other person at all, although I do understand how sometimes it can feel like there is.
Both responders to this comment nailed it imo. To be genuinely curious about things you don’t already have some understanding of / interest in opens up the whole world. People like talking about themselves and their interests once they feel that it’s being invited (ok, some people don’t need the invitation. They’re annoying, but I digress).
As for cultivating curiosity for the world… I don’t know of a simple two-step method that just works, but I have found that doing less in my days and allowing my mind to just wander / be a little bored (this is huge imo), then I start to wonder more :) maybe try doing a little less of what you like to do and see if something sprouts in those quieter moments. Might take a little while, but it could change your life if it leads to more interesting conversations with others!
You show interest only when you are genuinely interested. If the answer isn't interesting to you, then just move on to next question. Duh
my guy you're overthinking human interaction lol
I feel like extroverted people who are great at socializing, apply strats like this one subconsciously. I'm introverted and struggle a lot with talking to strangers. Making friends just kinda happened when conversations went well without me noticing why exactly, they went well. The weird thing is, in online multiplayer games, I'm super social. I love it when people join me on chat benches and I'll invite people to chat too. I didn't even have to think about it. Everything would just happen on it's own. I never understood the difference but this video makes it a lot clearer. It's always been asking questions until the discovery of a subject one of the conversation parties can happily info dump about, while party 2 is interested in hearing more. An instrument they play, a pet they have, an anime they are passionate about etc. Before party 2 adds to the same subject or switches to a subject related to it. I never knew to consciously do this in real life to a stranger, but now that I know exactly how it works I can give it a try.
Love this... if the other person is receptive... unless you live in LA and the other person answers you questions with "why"
This video is completly underrated! You have close to 2mio subs bur merely 20k views on this vid...
This is so useful advice! Thank you :D
This method was what I did when I had my job application interview and it worked really well for me, there was no dead air in the interview and it flowed naturally within me and my interviewers. 😊
What should I ask 😂
I did this unintentionally and we are now going on a year of living together. I love my boo thang… it’s interesting how easy introverts are to commit once you get us to open up. ❤️😂
This sounds very hard, imma go back to to studying DNA transfer in bacteria, mutations, and DNA repair mechanisms
Luck on that, not as hard as this one but it is a big effort anyways
i do this already, its really great advice. i like doing this especially with shy peeps, i think they take a little time, so direct interest goes a long way.
Instructions unclear, after challenging every stranger I've met to a ping pong battle I have become the champion of the johto region
😂
This has been my default method of communication my entire life. I don't think of it so much as a method that can be mechanically employed, but a fundamental disposition toward reality (in this case people) where you are genuinely curious and not forcing empty questions that you yourself are not interested in. To be fair, the minimum requirement (for me) is a sincere desire to connect...but, even then, it helps if you find topics inherently interesting - or, most optimally, it should be a "win-win": ask the questions/engage in the conversation in a way that is genuinely interesting for you and the other person.
Provided that this talk is actually a script, it is one hell of a essay. Keep the good work up
You should do an in depth video on introductions or “starting a conversation” and ways to bring up something based on the environment and how well you know the person.
I just looked at the thumbnail and I assume it is representative of the video so I’m gonna go spit in some strangers faces!
Wish me good luck
Oh this is beautiful, I naturally do this when I'm interested in the person but this is great to do actively with people I dont know at all.
Im an adult and most people would see me as a "childish nerd", because programming is my job and hobby, I also play "nerdy" video games and card games like Yu-Gi-Oh. People used to think that im very shy, but I wasn't really shy, I just didn't care to talk with other people and even less about "casual" topics and so I never started any conversations with strangers or ended them very quickly by lying, for example when someone asked me which video games I play currently, I would say something silly like "nothing specific", until the stopped with the questions and moved on. About a year ago I met a old childhood friend, she doesn't do any of this "nerdy" stuff and we have nothing in common. But since we are childhood friends and we didn't see us in a very long time, she wouldn't stop asking and wanted to have an actual conversation with me. Then I did something, that I never did before: I actually listend to the things she talked about, even if I thought that I don't care about these topics at first and then I realized that it is actually fun to listen to her and learn new things and new point of views. So I continued to talk with her and started to ask questions about the things she said, because I was actually curious to learn more about her, I think it was very similar to this "Ping Pong Method". While I still don't care about conversations with most other people, I had many conversations with this specific person since then and we met regulary to talk about stuff that I usually wouldn't talk or know about.
I think this is just normal conversations
However, many people still can't have normal conversations without being awkward
This is great actually. I remember talking about high end fireplaces at a dinner one time.
You have a great voice man. I think it would make anyone feel comfortable.
A great way to describe the basics of getting to know someone
Eye contact. Make no assumptions. BE KIND
I love it when people use “kind” instead of “nice.”
@@LONEX72 lol, hi again! So funny to see you here. I like your point of making positive assumptions, I never thought of that!
@@methodicallymaya 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 mdrrr
@@naturalLin I also subscribe to bible project.
@@naturalLin Why?
I also have used this one a lot without having a name to it, but i’d also call it “drill deeper” as an alternative to ping-pong. Basically that part of asking a question, hearing their answer, then drill deeper on their answer with questions to better understand them - and then relate it to my own experience for showing how i feel about it, before returning back to their previous line of dialogue to follow on new tangents. The main intent is to “drill deeper” past the surface question to start getting introspective responses or encouraging deeper details
Sir you seems professional in this method, could you give me some useful tips how to start learning this at the age of 19 still struggle on talking with people
dont think of it as a method, as this is a normal part of effectively getting to know people. very solid advice
Man this is excellent! Well done
Video summary:
The ping-pong method is a way of talking in which both interlocutors feel comfortable and the conversation flows naturally. It is important to ask questions and join the conversation to show interest in the interlocutor. An example of the use of this method is the successful opening of a forbidden interlocutor to talk about his hobby.
- 00:00 The ping pong method is a way to have a conversation that makes both parties feel comfortable and the conversation continues naturally.
- 01:21 Use the ping pong method in conversation to ask ongoing questions and show your interest.
- 02:45 A man used the ping-pong method to talk to a stranger and learned a lot about his cats.
- 04:07 Using the ping-pong method, the author was able to strike up a conversation with Uncle John and learn about his life and interests.
Thankyou
I legitimately didn't know that I had been using this method already and with great use lmao
I remember vividly doing this subconsciously while talking to an old relative of mine. He seems disinterested at first but then started opening up about his younger days when he used to sail by boat and work in other countries
In the commute a old man looked into my phone (i was browsing Amazon for headphones)
_He said did you find what you wanted?_
I said no..
Dude talked whole journey about headphones...
That was the most fascinating about how he just ASKED QUESTIONS
OMG Its revolutionary. Never before the conversation needed two people to exchange questions and answers. I used to stand alone in a room and throw rocks at people through the window. Never made any friends :( Now I will finally be happy and ask people about cats for 15 minutes and hope that they will open up! Thanks PING-PONG!
That's nice, do you have any pets?
Why have you never made friends? Revolution? Why don't you try to join a communist union? 😊
I didn't know that I was using ping pong method in conversation since then harhar
That is because this is called the "Socratic Method." He is pretending he created something new.
Was thinking about a date and how to keep on going with flow. This video was worth it 🔥
your voice is so calming and interesting, it drowned me in video, thank you for sharing
:D I've always used this and didn't even know it was a thing :D I can tell that this really works and the conversation gets so interesting for both sides!!
Some thing I would add to make this method more effective. You don't need to latch on to the first topic of conversation, especially if you are not interested in a conversation about cat like in the example. You can circle through a few topic until you find something you and the other person care about.
Secondly conversation tend to feel more deep when people express what they feel about something and both party can reciprocate this feeling.
Example:
"What do you do for work?"
"I work as a bartender"
"Funny, I'm a barista. It can get pretty hectic at times, but it's better than being boring and you don't see time pass in those moments."
"Yeah, I know what you mean there was this one time...."
I find more accurate this:
Oh and do you like your job?
-yes i love it!
Oh well i am a (imilar job)... And i really love it too. One day...(make a fake story)
//
-Mmm no not very much to be honest
-hahaha i understand, i work as a (similar job) and it is very hard sometimes, specially when... (Common complaints)
Just to connect mlre with the person before running
And dont say oh at the start of every interaction lol.
Thats my bad
@@skallittor5478 oh gosh, making up fake stories can get you into trouble. It also can be obvious when somebody is lying, which would wreck the conversation and potential for them trusting you
@@sillygoose6238 nah, i dont think it is that deep like in movies. For these moments it is good to lie i guess, because no one ask anything about it, no one really cares about your hobbies or job, it is all just a test to see how quick/fluent you are talking and how interesting you are, the details doesn't matter
It is more about being genuinely interested in what other the person is saying. People like to talk, we have more talkers than listeners in our society.
Asking a related question to what someone is saying is also another way of conveying you are interested.
That's it.
I'm not of big talker myself, but I listen keenly and they keep going.
Few rules I apply to myself when talking to strangers is
1. Stay away from controversial topics
2. Tread the middle path, being neutral if not sure.
3. Keep opinions to self, especially strong ones.
If they become real good friends, I can relax on the rules.
I’m an only child, and at some point in all of my awkward interactions with people I learned this on my own. I married an introverted spouse and they always say “you’re so social”…. And it makes me feel awkward because I remember the days before I had this back and forth dialogue. I cannot thank you enough for putting this method into words that I might be able to share with them to help them understand how I’ve learned how to communicate. 🙏🏻
Hey your story is great
do you have other methods to advise beside the ping pong one for someone in need ?
I agree with whatever he is saying, but the bottom line is, if the opposite person shows no interest in you, no matter whatever you do, the conversation can never go further. That’s it.
my social anxiety needed this thank you
Thanks dude my Ai was real shy talking to strangers.
This sounds a great idea. Now give me some confidence to apply this
Thank you! I joke around a lot but when people started talking to me in private I don't know what to do.
As an light autist i can say that conversating is not the difficult part . But reading the other person is or looking in their eyes is close to impossible . I knew i was autistic since i was 9 and thus learned a lot in social interactions but reading bodylanguage will always be the hardest part
Giving away tiny bits about yourself while asking questions makes a big difference. It creates points for the other person to comment on and keep the conversation going. (Yes I'm very shy)
I learned about this over 20 years ago, but it was called AAA: Answer, Add, Ask. Obviously, it has to start with asking a question first.
Dude I was using this method without even noticing.
I've had some problems getting to talk and meet new people for about 3 years since I grew up pretty much with no siblings and people my same age, but encouraged myself to just go up to people even if I was scared to do it, I just started talking and trying to make questions, but no to many at the same time and getting deep into the ones I felt that person looked comfortable e exited about, I started to do it with many people I saw for the first time or people i've seen before but that I didn't get to talk that much, I met a bunch of people, and including girls, I met some girls maybe looking for something for the night cause I don't really know how to hold a relationship because how skeptical and not very open I am with people😂. But at that point I wasn't really noticing the pattern of how I was talking or what questions were better and when to ask them. But this video just gave me the piece I needed and kinda like a better guide on how I was doing it
Thanks so much man🙏😂
i know this works, but it makes the whole conversation all about the other person. you're in a way just pleasing them, making them comfortable.
what about your own interests? what if you just don't have anything in common with the person and you letting them talk about themselves gives them a ticket to come back to you, again the topic of conversation being thier interests
Don't worry. That usually only works with men. But women in general won't come back, unless they're extroverts. And hey, you could always use more guy friends, right?
Thanks for this, I hope he sees this and appreciate it
I am using this method my whole life and works well with everyone and it definitely shows my honest interest about them. I was quite dissapointed when i came into a conclusion that other people very rarely use this method on me. It just shows how the people are only interested in themselves and nothing else.
You are really amazing thank you !! So much 😁
Let's gather here fellow socially awkward individuals
Hey fellas
Do you have other methods to advise beside the ping pong one for someone in need ?
Dr K. uses this method masterfully
Thankss! My manipulation tactics are getting better day by day.
My problem is coming up with a good question on the spot. Because of past experiences in my childhood when it comes to speaking I feel like people just want me to shut up and not ask any question.
Didn't know I've been applying this method all my life lol
This is a actually what normal people do. It's astounding how many people who aren't kids need to learn such a basic thing. Says a lot about this generation.
@@lorenzomizushal3980 Internet has pluses and minuses
It is connected with it
Dude when did you change your thumbnail that was surely reviving your videos. Your videos are being suggested to my feed. Well your videos do really have valuable lesson though. Very glad the algo show it up again. A good reminder for me to study again this topic.
Thank you! I just wish I had heard this before because I'm just here thinking of conversations that could have been a lot better if I'd used the ping-pong method. Oh well, better late then never!
As a shy person who is always the one that is being treated with this method, I find it utterly unnactural and forced.
My problem is I listen, I think about what is said and then the other person instantly excepts a reply but sometimes I take some moments to process and connect the information they have given me before I form an appropriate reply. This pause makes the other person seemingly uncomfortable and they always turn away :(
Then maybe try to change that? You don't always have to become a Socrates and think deep enough and forge the most perfect reply possible. At times life is just about the flow. Give them something or anything; fast!. If someone asks you about your favourite song, you don't have to spend 10 minutes thinking about all your fav songs and how they made you feel in different phases of life and how they make you feel and after doing high-end analysis in your head you come up with one ideal song. Just say that I am listening to xyz by abc and this song resonates with me these days. You know your problem and how people react to it. You can't always make other people change and adapt according to you.
@mursalinlarik9349 I also relate to OP and I don't think it is about trying to make others change and adapt to you. In fact I do try to speak a lot faster than I normally do most of the time since it is the only way to enact anything of a conversation, but I mess it up most of the time and if I try to constantly force myself to speak before giving much thought I either become mute after a while or say something that is misinterpreted or jumble up my words. I have tried for years. I work in retail with customers all day. People say I am good at communicating but it is a mask I have to put up. Most times I just let the misunderstandings go or soak in the awkwardness. Sometimes I do respond correctly and then someone interrupts me mid-sentence and I'm not talking slow or awkwardly either. I feel like I can't win.
I do this too and it is very helpful. To add to it, if one person keeps asking the question and another keeps answering, the conversation can soon feel tiring to both persons. Instead, when the person answers my question, I’d *occasionally* add little comments about myself to invite a more two-sided and potentially deeper conversation. E.g. if they talk about their cat, I’d say I have a dog that I love dearly too and ask them if they have a picture of their cat (and show them my dog’s picture too if they do). Everyone enjoys it more if they feel like they made a real connection with a person.
I use this method to keep the conversation on the other person. I avoid divulging my own life info, issues etc. It's so easy to keep other people talking about themselves. They never catch on.
I'm an introvert or something, so I'm gonna try this even if I'm gonna hate it, since at-least my depression will go away.
Actually I'm an extrovert in disguise.
I like to talk to people, but when I look at people I get these murder ideas in head so I just want to escape.
If you are a Christian, please pray that my murder ideas goes away, because I don't want to murder anyone.
Good luck
When trying to talk to people about their hobbies and interests, it’s helpful to imagine yourself doing those things or maybe comparing something you enjoy that’s similar to what they’re talking about.
If you have no interest or knowledge in the subject there’s always “oh that’s so cool, I honestly know nothing about _____ so it’s interesting to actually learn about it”