Your daughter chose her path with her eyes wide open. You should not feel guilty for her consequences. She got what she wanted. And this is the result.
Nurture vs Nature. Despite a loving family (nurture), half her chromosomes came from him (nature). He's a narcissist. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist. If in the future she realizes he is and she recognizes the error of her ways, look for fruits of repentance. If they are there, try to open the doors of renewed relationship. If they aren't there, don't. Go your separate way. You don't need 2 narcissists gaslighting you - because you know she'll keep him informed and involved. Nope, if you are telling the truth, all of the truth, and nothing other than the truth, you deserve better. You can't have her heart anyway if she, too, has a narcissistic personality.
You cant make others heal on your timeline. And trying to force that for your own delusion should be a huge red flag. Additionally, if someone talks to you respectfully and you ignore their request for a certain behavior or choice and then everyone else gets the full facts and proceeds to tell you you're wrong it is you who needs to change. You can go siding with abusers when the victim is still hurt.
@@jessicathompson236 not to mention the bio dad likely never even paid child support, so he REALLY didnt contribute to her upbringing whatsoever. Couldn't imagine siding with anyone who would hurt my mom... i don't even talk to my dad anymore because he was emotionally abusive to my mom during their marriage
Delusional doesn't even start to describe the youngest daughter. I know he's your bio dad, but how could you side with your mother's rapist? How could you look yourself in the mirror knowing you are forcing your mom and her rapist together? It's honestly refreshing that the would be groom and his family sided with and supported OP. That man will find a woman worth putting a ring on!
Honestly I wonder if the daughter is doing this because she doesn't want to think of the bio dad as a rapist and somehow believes that if the relationship between her mother and bio dad gets better then the rape just somehow goes away meaning she doesn't have to feel like an unwanted child.
For her safety and the safety of her future children and her new in-laws, the daughter should know that her father is a rapist and gaslighter. Apparently, her daughter doesn’t have empathy for her mom’s experience and the daughter doesn’t understand the potential dangerous impact of interacting with a rapist!
Even when she did it, she didn’t believe her at first, and then after she finally believed her she tricked her into meeting her rapist is a secluded area.
I'm certain the rapist is manipulating and gaslighted the daughter... she should have never been in contact with that man and honestly her mother should have stopped her from ever meeting him in the first place.. I'm not saying the daughter is totally blameless but I am saying now that rapist has ruined two lives
Who can be your friend for years to gain your trust then rape you after he got you drunk? He feels entitled and is comfortable with it. The proof is that he wanted to force your forgiveness by grabbing your hand when you tried to leave, and that action caused you to have PTSD. Rape is not just physical assault, but a mental and emotional assault which the perpetrators feel are warranted punishment towards the victim. Carnal in nature, it is not uncommon for the perpetrator to want to repeat the offence to the same victim like a lion feeding on its prey by going back for more, even if it were just the mental and emotional assault. This is the greatest fear and chagrin of the victim, the subject of their living nightmares Hence the reason that your youngest daughter is not safe with the rapist, her biological father. He respects no boundaries if he violated the boundary of trust and friendship and will cross that boundary with his daughter, even as if to indirectly “feed” his lions kill by violating your daughter to destroy you mentally. There is evidence in this “method of operation” (M/O) in recent news with the actions of Rex Heuermann, accused serial rapist/killer (LISK) where he contacted a deceased victim’s relatives by phone and taunted them by describing the rape and murder of their loved one. He wanted to relive the experience by inflicting more pain. Rapists do not stop at one victim, if they had normal thought processes they wouldn’t commit the crime in the first place. Get her out of there ASAP!
The moment I saw the OP and daughter going to a restaurant, I knew what was gonna happen next. I'm glad the other kids dragged the youngest through the mud, even if that wasn't what the OP wanted.
Youngest very much needs a reality check. She created this problem, and she could solve it by dropping her bio dad as the trash he is with no difficulty, but somehow she doesn't see how many of these issues are the direct consequence of her choices.
If the siblings had reached out to their sister privately before going public, do you think that might have gotten a better result, as far as the youngest daughter seeing her mistakes and taking steps to build bridges with her mom?
@@tintinismybelgianhonestly no. This youngest is entitled and a piece of shit. If she wants her rapist father then fine. Whenever the same kind of traumatic thing happens to her (as sadly what you put out in the world, and what you make fun of or treat badly about someone else, will eventually be what you will go through yourself) maybe she will finally understand what her mother went through.
How dare the bio dad say thats his daughter is depressed because of op's action but he doesnt realize that what he did traumatized op for her whole life..
@@janelcottrell838what is it about this that makes you not believe it happened? Just because you've seen similar stories on TV doesn't invalidate someone's experience. I too became pregnant from a date rape situation. My doctor tried to talk me into getting an abortion. I couldn't do it. I 100% support a woman's right to choose. But for me it just wasn't something I could do. I was single with an 8 year old child and about to start my honours year in university. My head was in a fog that whole year. All I knew was that my child was innocent and shouldn't be blamed for the action of her biological father. I didn't get the chance to tell her about it. When she was about 12 or so she went through some papers of mine where I told someone about what happened to me. Later she told me about that. She knew that I loved her very much. She never wanted to meet him. Today she's a beautiful person, highly educated, compassionate and open-minded. She has a great career, a loving husband and 2 beautiful children. She is very supportive of all of her friends and family. I'm so very proud of her and so grateful that I did not allow my doctor to talk me into something I would have regretted all my life. So many people may not be here today if I had chosen abortion. I also could not have given her up for adoption. That was the right choice for me. However, it may not be the right choice for someone else so I fully support abortion rights.
Yeah, the daughter blaming her mother for not wanting the person that literally S A'd her in her life is very much a 'fuck around, find out' sort of move.
Actually, the daughter is depressed because of his, the (g)rapists actions. The grapist still isn’t taking responsibility for his actions which means his apologies were not sincere.
This daughter is like, the worst. First, you don't want your own father, the man who raised you, walking you because he is in a wheelchair and "doesn't fit the picture", then you organise a meeting between your mom and her rapist without even asking??
"Let's rip the psychological wounds open again so that you can 'begin your healing journey', never mind that you've literally been healing for the two decades it took me to go from conception to adulthood, and exposing you to your assailant is going to rip away progress you've already made."
@@OptimalOwla father isn’t necessarily a man who conceived you it is a man who took care of you and protected you and raised you all your life,family isn’t just about blood,if you found out you weren’t related to your dad,which would you call dad,the person who raised you or someone that r worded your mom
@@andrejmicic5192 It wouldn't invalidate any feelings of gratitude or fondness I had for him, but I would feel sorry for him for having been tricked or coerced. Or if I found out that he walked into it willingly, then that would lower my opinion of him considerably.
Disgrace of a daughter. Even I who has a very strain relationship with my mother would never do this to her. Awful person to try and force your mom to talk with the man that SA her. The daughter should honestly be publicly shamed for such disgusting behaviour.
The Bio father is completely manipulating her but she still sided with him but I feel like I'm not the only person here thinking the bio father might do something to the daughter.
Impregnating a woman doesn’t make you a father! Raising and loving a child does! (Same for mothers) What a jerk the daughter is for chosing a man she barely knows, who literally attacked her mother, over the man who raised her her entire life and loved her and her mother despite the circumstances.
True absolutely Not only giving her mother a heart attack and blaming her when karma gets back but also the lack of disrespect to her father I mean come on
The fact that the daughter disrespected her father by not allowing him to walk her down the isle and also pushed her mother to trigger her trauma, it’s truly one of the most awful things I’ve heard of. The daughter is one of the most selfish and self absorbed humans, the daughter does not deserve her those parents.
I watched the whole video but for aome reason I cannot comment there so here I am. That daughter is no daughter of this woman. The way she went straight to not care about such a huge fucked up thing and side with the rapist is unbelievable. It was unbelievable when she didn't know but what she did once she knew about is disgusting. Good riddance for you ma'am.
The "father" has some audacity to even talk to his victim like that. The amount of trauma he has inflicted upon his own close friend is horrible and then he turned her own people against her?! Disgusting, i tell you.
I can imagine the pain that this brings but I really think it’s a shame she would disregard her father for a stranger. Especially one who assaulted her mother. Even if she wasn’t that close it doesn’t matter because she took to stranger based on a DNA test. I hope she gets therapy too and I don’t wish her ill. I just don’t think someone who could identify with her mother’s attacker and abandon her dad because he doesn’t fit her idea of a wedding day is someone you should distance yourself from. She is making terrible decisions but young people often do. There are no instant fixes and until she respects your boundaries especially concerning your r*pist. She needs to stay away. The biological father sounds like a jerk. I noticed that he attacked you on the phone and made the daughter the only victim. He’s bad news it really is a shame he escaped justice.
why would you not tell YOUR DAUGHTER that she’s INVITING A RAPIST TO HER WEDDING??? idk man the moment she tried to make contact i would have laid it into her that he was a rapist because that just puts the daughter at risk edit: i finished the story and jesus christ that daughter is just as bad as her fsther
It's not your fault it's your friends fault because they salted you and made you pregnant and they should pay for their actions and go to jail for what they did to you and if you guys can't see that then you guys are delusional and your entire bright it on herself.
If she doesn’t know what she’s the product of then tell her as much. Edit half way through. Good on op for telling the truth. To hell with this kid. She wants to be with her father after knowing all that, let her.
The biological father(rapist) most likely lied/s to the daughter & is manipulating the daughter. The daughter needs therapy to help her understand the consequences of SA & help her understand what her mother has & still is going through. SA affects you for the rest of your life. The fiancée dogged a bullet when he called of the wedding.
I was saed by a friend if a friend, and pregnancy occurred because of the vile moment. Thankfully i had a gloriously eccentric grammy who tended flowers, and herbs, she had a beautiful midnight garden that had moonflowers as big as dinner plates. She brewed balms, and rubs, teas and the such. Sge brewed me a cup of tea one midnight, the honey coverd up the slight bitterness of that wonderful little flower that my tea was produced from. The next morning shortly after the dawn cramps rolled over me like waves, and a slight time later the matter was discharged. A warm bath, a day of rest and my body was ok, my mind still relives the night that monster took what he wanted while laughing about the "she cat" fighting occasionally. Ladies, there will always be some men out there who will take what you dont want to give. Tend your gardens well, weed them, mist them, talk to them, there may come a time and i pray not, when you'll need to brew a tea.
I don't believe in God, but I prayed after I heard this story. You are not at fault here whatsoever. As someone who IS a product of a rape, I am ashamed of your daughter for taking this so lightly and even more so at your parents. I hope you live a happy, and long fulfilling life. The best advice I can give you is to go NO contact with her for the time being.
@Timon-77 I specifically said "to whatever God is out there" and continued with my prayers. So i guess whichever God cares about a sinner like me. To me a true God answers all prayers for peace and love so I don't care if it was Buda Jesus or a Greek God.
It’s not your fault he probably told her a lie and said he wanted to apologize but what she doesn’t know is that she is probably a living reminder even though she never treated her differently she is hope all is well
As someone who went to an orphanage, I'd have preferred to have been thrown on a busy highway than to have lived through it. Ever see a pet shelter? Ever see happy families go and pick their favorite pup out and then brag about it on social media? Well, the ones who don't get adopted generally get put down. With humans, they just suffer, so imagine American Idol, except if you don't win, you'll never be happy.
Just because the child was a product of a terrible incident doesn’t mean the mother would not love or want the child still because in the end it is still the mothers child
Op's husband is an enabler who does anything his wife said no matter how bad it is. Trusting a traumatised person to make the right decision is pure dumb move by him.
That is a horrible daughter. Sometimes blood is not thicker than water. You should ask her if she would be ok if you asked her Assaulter to family functions.
It,s really as simple as you should've told her the moment she reconnected with her father and explained that you never want to be in any kind of contact with him. Stop protecting predators!
Thank God for where i live abortions are legal Because if I ever ended up getting graped by someone who I do or do not know I am not keeping that baby And from what I saw and someone's comment yes you can get PTSD from looking at a child Especially from a child that came about from grape You constantly remember how that child was conceived A child can give you PTSD And I wouldn't want to give birth to a child that would cause me those problems Especially since I would not be able to fully take care of that child Because of how that child was conceived And you people can say what you want But if I can't take responsibility for a kid financially I'm not going to keep it And if the baby is a high risk baby Then I'm not going to keep it Because if he gets to the point where the doctors tell me that it's either you or the baby Then I'm not going to keep it I'm not going to give birth to a kid that I'm incapable of taking responsibility for If I'm going to have a kid I'm going to make sure I take responsibility for it Because it is my child and nobody else is so I should be taking responsibility for my kid if I decide to give birth to it nobody should be taking responsibility for my kid These are just my choices and what I have for myself If I can't take care of it I'm not going to keep it I'll only keep it if I can take care of it Adoption is out of the question I'm not going to give my child up for adoption and let other people take care of my responsibility
I guess it’s an example of nature versus nurture. OP done nothing wrong but I hope daughter realizes her mistakes and apologized to her mom before it’s too late or before her bio father harms her 🍀
That's what I've been saying, and yes I hope so too. I honestly don't think he's changed if anything he's probably gotten better at hiding the monster he is.
Here is the problem in this OP should have sought help from the beginning. She just buried her trauma and ignored her daughter’s need to know who her true father was growing up and now she wants her daughter to choose her over him because she raised her and he is a horrible human being. The daughter is told after 20+ years she wasn’t conceived accidentally but by her mom getting violated by her best friend but mom was too scared and embarrassed so she decided not to tell her until after daughter has been in contact with him for 2 years where he has treated daughter with respect and love and so mom must be lying
WTF are you talking about??? Why would the mother lie? Why? And yes the daughter should side with her mother. She's her mother!!! Weather she was the best mother or not is besides the point, she's been with her from birth and now she just gets forgotten because she's found her "real" dad!!! Hell no that's not cool. And the mother has prove that he raped her, so how do you explain that? And who wants to admit they've been raped let alone lie about it. No way your wrong wrong wrong.
Although I truly feel that, once she found out what the bio father did to her mother, the daughter should have stopped all communication with the bio dad, I also think this mother is not blameless here. She's had 24 years to deal with this and hasn't. She's lied to her daughter about her conception because she didn't want to be judged, but she expects her daughter to know how to deal with this after only a few months. Imagine admittedly treating one child differently than the rest of your children for circumstances out of her control, so much so that her dad has to overcompensate for you lack of mothering, and then being shocked that she's out looking for the love of a biological parent. The delusion is astounding.
Did you actually listen to the same story??? Because I strongly disagree with your comments. And while I do agree the mother should have told the daughter sooner. Just when should she have done that? It's not something any child wants to hear and if she told her daughter to early there's consequences for that to. And it's not a subject anyone wants to relive let alone talk about. And the mother admitted to handling it wrong but the father and yes I mean the man that raised and loved and treated her like his own was there when the mom couldn't be. It shouldn't matter if he was her biological father or not. She definitely got love and for you to justify her horrible selfish actions is disrespectful. The daughter isn't going to get the so called love she deserves from a rapist sperm donor. I honestly don't understand how you can side with that ungrateful selfish spiteful foolish daughter. But everyone is entitled to they're opinion.
There are 2 types of people in the world people who handle their problems and face them head on and do not let it dictate their life or there’s people who push their problems away act like they never happen and they end up taking hold of their life. They say if you take the easy way out earlier it’s gonna be hard down the line. If you take the hard way in the beginning, it’s gonna be easier down the line and obviously you can see what has happened and what transpired, I just really hope things get better for your situation and you come to the realization that you are more than what has happened to you. You can’t change the past. There’s things you should’ve done differently, but you can continue to do better in the future.
OP should have just told the daughter 🤦🏻♀️ but also… why keep the baby that just reminds you of being assaulted and will just have resentment towards the child. The daughter is an absolute POS.
Your daughter was cold selfish. It was her day and she could not care any less about anyone. She would have ruined the man who called off their wedding.
I could NEVER side with someone who hurt my Mother so badly😔I was VERY close to my Mother, especially after she received a terminal cancer diagnosis. Missing you still Mommy🥺💔💋
I think it's easier for the daughter to believe her bio dad isn't this horrible rapist. Easier to see him as remorseful than to see him as mother does. It's unfair to place all the fault on her. She grew up with a totally different narrative. Now she has her own trauma to work through. The mother did her a disservice by keeping the truth from her for so long. I think all are trying to do the best with what they've been given. I suspect the daughter is also realizing the mother treated her differently for this reason. It's a lot to process. I'm glad Mom & Stepdad are in therapy. I hope the daughter gets to a place where she seeks it too. I've worked with many kids who have grown up in families as a product of rape or incest. It's ugly & mentally damaging for the child. I hope this family can find a way to be a family again. This just makes me sad for all involved.
Her own mother treated this girl like an outcast. She said it herself. Let her develop a relationship with a man without telling her the truth for 2+ yrs. It was a disaster waiting to happen. Most of the time especially girls are going to chase the love and affection of an absent parent.
She made her choice, a rapist over her loving family. She now has to go through life alone . I can't wrap my head around her decision I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with him.
It’s not your fault and it’s not her fault if you don’t want her biological dad then just don’t go but she’ll be upset and if she does tell her the truth before you tell her you’re not going
I watched the vid You didn’t wanna tell cuz ur “ashamed” I get that it would make her feel different from the rest of family But still just cuz it feels shameful doesn’t mean u can’t tell her:/
Trauma makes you feel like you’re the bad guy when you try to explain what happened, it makes you disgusted with yourself and your mind convinces you that you wanted whatever happened to you, especially in sa cases
The mom is not entitled to tell her what happened, the fact the daughter tried to force her and her biological dad to get in the same room when he literally graped her
If the bio dad is serious about apoligizing, he needs to give her room, talk to her gradually, and not try to intrude into her relationship. the daughter is the real trouble, she seems go be causing everything. I say, when the mother is ready to forgive, if she ever will be, she will, at her own pace. And not at anyone else's.
Thank you I see all these comments calling out the daughter when she literally didn’t know she was a product of assault and only knew what the mother told her which was just a bad altercation
@@heretics_archiveit doesn't matter if she told her before or after meeting the bio father. The daughter should've cut contact with the man after finding out. Instead, she decided to blindside her mother with a physical meeting with her attacker and triggering her panic attack.
OP I’m with you 1M %. If your daughter had the sensitivity even of a rabid hyena, she should have sat down and asked/begged you for the truth. If she couldn’t get all the truth, she should have had the inner sense to know something was wrong and tried to understand your pain. And for the issue of her stepfather (although real father) and his disability, a motorized wheelchair could be rented for the day. It could even be decorated with flowers and ribbons to go with the bridal colors. Your husband could then motor himself down the aisle next to your daughter. A daughter who loved her parents would do something like this. I hate to say this, but your daughter does not love either of you. This isn’t always true but sometimes blood will out. Despite being raised well, your daughter is displaying the characteristics of her father, a violent criminal. If you and your husband are paying for the wedding, I’d cancel everything that hasn’t been paid in full. Then I’d cut ties with your daughter and continue on with your life. And if you haven’t seen a mental health doctor for your severe, untreated ptsd, I’d do it asap. It’s never too late and you deserve to live surrounded by love. God bless and keep you safe.
It sounds like this child felt the disdain around her , just in general.. You might not know,but she felt it. Might not have been able to put her finger on it ,but it was there… Your trauma should not have over shadowed a baby’s ,life you chose for…, 24 years of her life she did not know and lived a life with an underlying covert rejection, for 1 trauma you endured once. 24 years ago..She just learned of her origin story.. I’m sure she is reevaluating her whole identity, who she is and why ? You dropped a big emotional,mess on her during her wedding. It’s her wedding & what she wants & all over picking someone You didn’t want walking her down the isle , So you dumped something she had no knowledge of or involvement in..Over who’s walking her down the isle .. I’m confused.. The dad that stepped up , obviously seen you , not able to bond or even blame her for your trauma .. SURE , she should have him walking her down the isle. But what is her side of the story? BLAME THE Product of R, , AND PITTED the whole family against this child who did nothing but be born .. UNREAL.. THAT POOR GIRL. She lost everyone ,because of direct result of YOU & your in ability, to heal from a decades-old trauma.. INTURN .Making your youngest daughter, your permanent scape goat … & what part does your family take accountability & STOP being blind to you are victimizing this daughter for something that happened to you .. I don’t believe a therapist would ever say what you claimed either . How can you sit up on pedestal claiming worry for her, when you took EVERYTHING FROM HER including the safety you claim to worry about ,leaving her NOBODY…BUT YOUR accused ATTACKER .. SMH
Was so glad to read your comment! Thank you!! I cannot believe the ignorant heartless comments these clueless people are making about this child! And supporting this idiot almost evil mother!! While holding off on judgement of father- not enough facts- while doing so I also had no reason to doubt the mothers claims. With what little facts we know - even only have 1 side of the story- paying attention to whats happening the father actions the mothers words, storys behavors reactions!! So many pieces of the puzzle dont fit or make no sense at all!! I have figured out the truth. Confident without a doubt- the mother is full of BS! Is not nor has she ever been anyones victim except her own! Shes the user and abuser - she doesnt care who she hurts or destroys- or how bad- even if just to benefit herself in the slightest way.
I understand your daughter wanting to know her biological father but she should have excepted how you felt. Having that man in her life, separate from you is fine, but some trauma is just not that easy to get over. After hearing how you felt about him, she should have been willing to do things separately. Could have done the wedding with you and your family, then the next day spent with her father. Instead she is losing the whole experience. I'm sad for you both
Once Luna sent off for that 23andMe or whatever DNA ancestry service kit then she opened the literal Pandora's box to everything that could have possibly gone wrong. Luna's birth father is also exploiting her desire to know him and the situation just like he had planned all along. Luna's stepfather (AKA her REAL dad) and mother hopefully do not give up on her 🙏
I am in no way siding with the daughter at all when I say this, I am very glad the mother/OP got the support of those around them, but is there a possibility that since her mother pushed her away for all those years and she was most likely ostracized for being different from all the rest of her family that she might be trying to get that support? It’s not right but it sounds like she also needs therapy because no one should be siding with their parents r🍇ist especially for a man they’ve only met two years ago. She’s been raised by this family her whole life and felt so little connection to them she ran into the arms of a monster just to find solace. She is wrong and def needs therapy as well. I hope she ends up apologizing to her mom someday. OP really deserved better.
I'll be honest when I say that I kind of saw this coming because I've read the full story and op's comments from her posts and updates and I'm with you I'm not condoning what the daughter did and what happened to op was horrible,but let's be honest the daughter was not treated well her mother couldn't be in the same room as without a panic attack, the daughter siblings bullied her(yes op has said this) the stepdad sat there and essentially let it happen and never encouraged ppl to seek help and the families cut off op because they thought she cheated. Than you only tell the daughter days or a day before the daughter wedding( this was seriously not smart considering wedding stress) and people honestly expected the daughter to be grateful that she essentially was neglected and hated because of her existence,and wonder why she's choosing bio-dad over them yea I saw this coming from get go. What daughter did was wrong but op should had had gotten for herself and daughter a long time ago.
Not wanting to victim shame But I always go by ''that explains it, doesn't excuse it tho!!'' And while her shame and trauma is reasonable She should have told her daughter the moment she got in touch with her Bio-Dad... Bc how DARE OP even letting that man CLOSE to her daughter after what he did to OP??? How couldn't she just jump over her shame to effin make her daughter SAVE, bc she wasn't!!! The daughter wasn't save, someone as disgusting as a ra#€ist could do anything.... I have to say OP is genuenly a horrible mother, not for beeing a shamed or feeling the way she did, not for keeping it a secret that way actually very reasonable for the time beeing. BUT for not steping up when it was indeed needed! The child is also horrible tbh for just throwing her REAL father under the buss! And I am not talking bio! Family is way more then blood and tbh a man that was never in her live shouldn't mean sh't. Her real father is OP's husband, end of diskussion. Eddit: actually wrote this somehow thinking there was no other update and the story is over Gosh the ending is even worse, that Daughter is just an awfull human beeing...can not even call THAT Human anymore... But atleast she got exposed and sees the consequence of her action...except she ofc blames everyone else and not herself. Self reflection isn't there I gues.
OP is traumatized after not only having been assaulted, but then having her daughter (the product of that assault) know about it and still try to reconnect with the assaulter. Trauma and fear can make you do crazy things. I understand your point and I do believe that that’s why she eventually stepped up and said something. The daughter knew and chose the assaulter anyway, so it wouldn’t have done any good no matter how early OP told her daughter.
Daughters dad didn't just SA 1 woman, most likely he has a long string of victims and the possibility of him attacking his daughter or op is high at this point.
Hmmm trying not to discount even a bit- what was done to her or the pain and humiliation shes indured. We should Remember... 2 sides to every story- have to 🤔or should hear both sides being fully informed i order to make a fair or just opinion. Unfortunately we havent heard his. But by Paying attention to what facts we do have along with other info obtained just by listing and observing! In my opinion He doesn't seem like a heartless abuser with a trail of victims!!! She made it very clear a few times that they were very close/best friends for several yrs. Grew up together as best friends always together! I believe she said? that even as close as they were for as many yrs they had never dated each other or experienced that type relationship. But stated she always knew he liked her in that way. And emphasized he always treated her with high respect in every way! (For yrs)! Again not discounting in any way his crime against her!! The way she describes him and her not giving any details at all about the actual assault - other than they were at college together- one night they had gone to his place to drink .... dont think she said party? We know College students getting together to drink-( In my day no matter if its 2 or 52 friends together to drink- of course partying is the intent goes without saying)😊 surley they had done many times! That statement along w/. and ..."after i had been drinking(im pretty sure really meaning...when I got drunk) he raped me!! Was it brutal did he hurt her in any other way- was he mean and threatening. Or did he just not stop when she told him to? (Not that any of it is ok) She didnt say how forceful she was in trying to stop him! Did she fight or yell. Was she to drunk to really struggle or defend herself? She never said- remember- he was drinking as well- we dont know how drunk he was? Its surprising to me that - with the amt of trauma, pain, hatred anger to date at the boiling point of rage still after 20+ yrs. !! I would think she couldnt stop herself from lashing out more regarding what he put her through during the attack.!! Now she was hurt because her family and others didnt believe her including the police! He denied it and they believed him! So she finally gave up and dropped the charges!!!! So I was really surprised- happy but.....confused when he admitted his guilt to when daughter confronted him!!!! 🤔 Or did he really?? We just assumed he must have admitted his guilt- if ge wanted to go talk to her mother and apologize!! After all these yrs. Still not making sense! Typically peoples nature- especially men- never change their innocent plea or admitting guilt especially to this type of evil nasty crime and to your daughter- WHY? everyone has always believed without a doubt your innocent. No evidence to pr'ove different! 🤔 Just a few more things that arent making any sense to me!!!
I don’t think it’s fair to blame the daughter… she started a relationship with her bio dad before knowing the story. She got close to him and probably faster than she should have because of her mom not being close with her her entire life. She was born with a messed up backstory but her siblings doing that to her just wasn’t ok
I tried to post on the main page but couldn't. All I wanted to say "drama" such as this is because of all the secrecy, all the lies. Family needs to know the unvarnished, ugly truth from the beginning. In the beginning, if you came out with the truth, nobody but the rapist would be disowned. As it should be. Now, because it is so late in the game, people will be hurt. But even so be brave, be strong & tell the truth. You were brave once when you kept your beautiful baby. Be brave again. I know it's hard. I have done this. Kept documents, court records, pictures, ER visits, doctor visits in my file cabinets so that my youngest knows the reason why I had to divorce his father. And because of the documentation, I have a restraining order for life. I was also able to have his father's supervised visitation with him revoked because of his noncompliance. It was more for me because I didn't want him hurt, dead, or kidnapped. Yes he threatened & he tried. I guess he thought I was too embarrassed that I believed that he was a nice guy & wouldn't talk. He was wrong. My children are my blessings, my life, my everything. Always tell the truth to your children so they will always know you tell the truth & so they can cone to you with their truth & won't judge them but direct them because you love them. My children are from 25 to 45 & we are truthful even when we think badly of ourselves. That's family.
daughter is 100% in the wrong. the fact that she forgave her mother's rapist so quickly and even tried to get her mother to meet with him (after being told repeatedly that her mother did not want to be anywhere near him) is absolutely disgusting. she is a selfish person and deserved every bit of karma she got in the end.
Your daughter should be ashamed of herself. You cannot force someone else's healing to begin. She has never been traumatized by anything in her life, and I'm very happy for her. You just can't wish away someone else's trauma. As a grown woman she should know that. I'm very sorry you were put in such a dangerous situation again. ❤😊
I re watched the whole thing and the whole thing is tragic. I'm first sorry for what you've been through. Your husband as well. I understand not wanting to hurt your daughter, but excuse me for saying so but she sounds a bit spoiled and not very understanding. Maybe a trait that came from bio Dad. You've done nothing wrong except not getting help years ago. I pray it all works out. Good bless to you all and hope you can all start a healing journey now. Good luck. 🙏💕
You did the right thing to keep your baby. God bless your husband for raising her as his own. What I see missing from your life is a relationship with God. He created that child, and to know Him is to be able to heal and forgive and so much more. Praying for His guidance and for your Salvation. 🙏❤️
You experienced a horrific event and didn’t receive needed counseling early. But as I listen to your side it sounds like you finally got back against him at your daughter expense if she been given opportunity to understand what happened beforehand and perhaps emotional support and/or counseling instead of living in a situation she never had a chance to fully understand nor Time in days or weeks or months what you did not resolved meaningfully yourself . I don’t flaunt you but I don’t fault your daughter your therapists should not say it OK what happened to your daughter. It not OK. In the end only our relationship and memories we left with matters Learning how to love and bridge the difficulties in spite Of what left throws us is the real legacy we leave for our children . My prayer is that what really matters most on family will strengthen you not the discord that not only weakens relationships but destroys families
I mean I’m kinda feeling a little bit bad for both of them and here is why- The mom had a traumatic horrible experience and was very traumatized as she had every right to be. She didn’t want to see him for a good reason and she made that very clear. But the daughter at first didn’t know what had happened with her bio dad and just might have wanted to meet him or something. When she found out, what she did was absolutely wrong but maybe she thought she was helping you. I don’t think your other kids should have dragged her name through the mud and ruined her happy relationship and wedding. My silly ahhhhh opinion 😝
All of this could have been avoided if you had just told your children the truth years ago. You cannot run from trauma. You cannot run from the truth. If you avoid dealing with something it just gets harder to face and people get hurt. I don’t think her daughter is emotionally intelligent enough to know how to handle any of this like an adult. If anything her inability to understand what she did wrong is a testimony to how protected and loved she was. Spoiling her didn’t make any of this better though because you as the adult, as a mother, should have faced your demons years ago. Your husband shouldn’t have let you hide from what happened to you either. He should have gently persuaded you to what’s best for your family by getting the help you needed. When you don’t put your oxygen mask on first, meaning if you don’t take care of YOURSELF first, everyone you love is in danger. I will pray for you and your family. I hope that you can all work through this and be close again. For context Before ANYONE feels they have the right to come at me for my opinion, I had the same thing happen to me when I was 17. Except I didn’t have a husband. My own parents disowned me and insisted I lied about the attack which left me with brain damage and balance issues to this day from the head injury sustained by my attacker. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl and my parents reentered my life and pushed me to put my child up for adoption. I hate that I let them talk me into doing that every single day I have breath in my body. I ache for my daughter but it was closed so I don’t even begin to know how to find her without tons of money for a lawyer. So believe me when I say… I’m on the mother’s side by saying everything I did. I just want everyone to find their way back to being a family again because family is the most important thing in the world.
It makes me sad about what happened to you. My best friends mother and father drink a lot when she was a child, they had drunks over their house daily and one of the drunks raped her and she was under thirteen and when she started showing no one cared and she ended up having the baby and she brought the baby home! This child has treated her so bad because the child was angry with the father for rapping the mom! Because my friend was so young she had no information on the father to offer her child! Now with all that being said, with the banding of abortions, even if the woman was raped by outsider a relative or even her father she still has to carry that baby to term! This Decision frightens me because some mothers are going to commit suicide and some are just gonna lose their mind because they’re carrying the rapist Baby and Donald Trump and the supreme court do not see your pain at all.
The OP's youngest daughter was better off staying away from her bio dad because he has proven that he has no remorse for his actions and never will plus as much as it hurts, the ex fiance of the OP's daughter made the right decision to end the engagement and walk away but the daughter has herself to blame for that consequence and no one else down the line.
To primacloth: Why would you do that to a child who is completely innocent in all aspects and make them suffer for something their Father did to their Mother?
It is not your daughter's fault that you didn't tell her the truth. Don't blame her for 'disrespecting' the man who raised her. If you had told the truth she probably would have understood that you didn't want to be near him.
This is the time to tell her. Tell her! She is old enough now to process this, and she needs to know how special the love of her "adopted" father is ... and what a jerk her biological father is.
I would advise you focus on yourself and be happy. As for your daughter, she is selfish. it will be better she gets to know her genetic dad and experience who he is for herself so she learns lesson for life.
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Your daughter chose her path with her eyes wide open. You should not feel guilty for her consequences. She got what she wanted. And this is the result.
Nurture vs Nature.
Despite a loving family (nurture), half her chromosomes came from him (nature). He's a narcissist.
It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist. If in the future she realizes he is and she recognizes the error of her ways, look for fruits of repentance. If they are there, try to open the doors of renewed relationship. If they aren't there, don't. Go your separate way. You don't need 2 narcissists gaslighting you - because you know she'll keep him informed and involved. Nope, if you are telling the truth, all of the truth, and nothing other than the truth, you deserve better. You can't have her heart anyway if she, too, has a narcissistic personality.
Very well said @@daricetaylor786
You cant make others heal on your timeline. And trying to force that for your own delusion should be a huge red flag. Additionally, if someone talks to you respectfully and you ignore their request for a certain behavior or choice and then everyone else gets the full facts and proceeds to tell you you're wrong it is you who needs to change. You can go siding with abusers when the victim is still hurt.
The daughter made her choice. She chose her mothers rapist over her mom and step dad.
Non even step dad, that man raised her for her entire childhood
@@Grant-sketches , He was the dad that stepped up. That's more than just a father or a step father.
Some kids have no loyalty
@@jessicathompson236 not to mention the bio dad likely never even paid child support, so he REALLY didnt contribute to her upbringing whatsoever. Couldn't imagine siding with anyone who would hurt my mom... i don't even talk to my dad anymore because he was emotionally abusive to my mom during their marriage
Thank GOD your wonderful hubby is on his feet
Delusional doesn't even start to describe the youngest daughter. I know he's your bio dad, but how could you side with your mother's rapist? How could you look yourself in the mirror knowing you are forcing your mom and her rapist together? It's honestly refreshing that the would be groom and his family sided with and supported OP. That man will find a woman worth putting a ring on!
Ngl Op should forget the daughter because she put her through pain and still decides to blame her for being at fault
Almost like a made up story right?
Honestly I wonder if the daughter is doing this because she doesn't want to think of the bio dad as a rapist and somehow believes that if the relationship between her mother and bio dad gets better then the rape just somehow goes away meaning she doesn't have to feel like an unwanted child.
Probably because she hasn't told her she is a SA baby
@@derrickdemetz393 she did 💀💀💀
For her safety and the safety of her future children and her new in-laws, the daughter should know that her father is a rapist and gaslighter. Apparently, her daughter doesn’t have empathy for her mom’s experience and the daughter doesn’t understand the potential dangerous impact of interacting with a rapist!
Exactly like op should have made it clear she shouldn't interact with such a man
Even when she did it, she didn’t believe her at first, and then after she finally believed her she tricked her into meeting her rapist is a secluded area.
I'm certain the rapist is manipulating and gaslighted the daughter... she should have never been in contact with that man and honestly her mother should have stopped her from ever meeting him in the first place.. I'm not saying the daughter is totally blameless but I am saying now that rapist has ruined two lives
This is the product of her being spoilt as a child when the parents were compensating. Major case of main character sund😅
Who can be your friend for years to gain your trust then rape you after he got you drunk? He feels entitled and is comfortable with it. The proof is that he wanted to force your forgiveness by grabbing your hand when you tried to leave, and that action caused you to have PTSD.
Rape is not just physical assault, but a mental and emotional assault which the perpetrators feel are warranted punishment towards the victim. Carnal in nature, it is not uncommon for the perpetrator to want to repeat the offence to the same victim like a lion feeding on its prey by going back for more, even if it were just the mental and emotional assault. This is the greatest fear and chagrin of the victim, the subject of their living nightmares
Hence the reason that your youngest daughter is not safe with the rapist, her biological father. He respects no boundaries if he violated the boundary of trust and friendship and will cross that boundary with his daughter, even as if to indirectly “feed” his lions kill by violating your daughter to destroy you mentally. There is evidence in this “method of operation” (M/O) in recent news with the actions of Rex Heuermann, accused serial rapist/killer (LISK) where he contacted a deceased victim’s relatives by phone and taunted them by describing the rape and murder of their loved one. He wanted to relive the experience by inflicting more pain.
Rapists do not stop at one victim, if they had normal thought processes they wouldn’t commit the crime in the first place. Get her out of there ASAP!
The moment I saw the OP and daughter going to a restaurant, I knew what was gonna happen next.
I'm glad the other kids dragged the youngest through the mud, even if that wasn't what the OP wanted.
Youngest very much needs a reality check. She created this problem, and she could solve it by dropping her bio dad as the trash he is with no difficulty, but somehow she doesn't see how many of these issues are the direct consequence of her choices.
The bio dad is a tuipidsay atray fay ay umanhay nay ay itchbay, uckfay imhay.
As soon as I heard surprise. I would have turned right the heck around and buggered off.
If the siblings had reached out to their sister privately before going public, do you think that might have gotten a better result, as far as the youngest daughter seeing her mistakes and taking steps to build bridges with her mom?
@@tintinismybelgianhonestly no. This youngest is entitled and a piece of shit.
If she wants her rapist father then fine. Whenever the same kind of traumatic thing happens to her (as sadly what you put out in the world, and what you make fun of or treat badly about someone else, will eventually be what you will go through yourself) maybe she will finally understand what her mother went through.
How dare the bio dad say thats his daughter is depressed because of op's action but he doesnt realize that what he did traumatized op for her whole life..
It can't make sense because people like him don't understand these kinds of things anyway.
I don't believe this story is real. I've seen this exact situation on several TV shows over the past 10 years
@@janelcottrell838what is it about this that makes you not believe it happened? Just because you've seen similar stories on TV doesn't invalidate someone's experience.
I too became pregnant from a date rape situation. My doctor tried to talk me into getting an abortion. I couldn't do it. I 100% support a woman's right to choose. But for me it just wasn't something I could do. I was single with an 8 year old child and about to start my honours year in university. My head was in a fog that whole year. All I knew was that my child was innocent and shouldn't be blamed for the action of her biological father. I didn't get the chance to tell her about it. When she was about 12 or so she went through some papers of mine where I told someone about what happened to me. Later she told me about that. She knew that I loved her very much. She never wanted to meet him. Today she's a beautiful person, highly educated, compassionate and open-minded. She has a great career, a loving husband and 2 beautiful children. She is very supportive of all of her friends and family. I'm so very proud of her and so grateful that I did not allow my doctor to talk me into something I would have regretted all my life. So many people may not be here today if I had chosen abortion. I also could not have given her up for adoption. That was the right choice for me. However, it may not be the right choice for someone else so I fully support abortion rights.
“Your daughter is depressed because of your actions!!”
HER MOTHER IS COMPLETELY BROKEN BECAUSE OF YOUR ACTIONS WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN
Yeah, the daughter blaming her mother for not wanting the person that literally S A'd her in her life is very much a 'fuck around, find out' sort of move.
You are so right if I what's in that posishin I who'd just tell my boy friends
EXACTLY!!
LITERALLY!
Actually, the daughter is depressed because of his, the (g)rapists actions. The grapist still isn’t taking responsibility for his actions which means his apologies were not sincere.
This daughter is like, the worst. First, you don't want your own father, the man who raised you, walking you because he is in a wheelchair and "doesn't fit the picture", then you organise a meeting between your mom and her rapist without even asking??
"Let's rip the psychological wounds open again so that you can 'begin your healing journey', never mind that you've literally been healing for the two decades it took me to go from conception to adulthood, and exposing you to your assailant is going to rip away progress you've already made."
The word for a man who raises another man's child isn't "father."
AND You shouldn't ask even such a thing to hegin with
@@OptimalOwla father isn’t necessarily a man who conceived you it is a man who took care of you and protected you and raised you all your life,family isn’t just about blood,if you found out you weren’t related to your dad,which would you call dad,the person who raised you or someone that r worded your mom
@@andrejmicic5192
It wouldn't invalidate any feelings of gratitude or fondness I had for him, but I would feel sorry for him for having been tricked or coerced. Or if I found out that he walked into it willingly, then that would lower my opinion of him considerably.
Disgrace of a daughter. Even I who has a very strain relationship with my mother would never do this to her. Awful person to try and force your mom to talk with the man that SA her. The daughter should honestly be publicly shamed for such disgusting behaviour.
I knew exactly what was going to happen when OP's daughter invited her out to lunch.
The Bio father is completely manipulating her but she still sided with him but I feel like I'm not the only person here thinking the bio father might do something to the daughter.
Bo
OMG are you thinking what I'm thinking??? 🤔
Oh hell nah I already do not like to think about that
@@Anonymousflufapilcumber neither do I but it feels like it he's extremely manipulative it's a possibility
Oh he will mark my words, old habits die hard
Impregnating a woman doesn’t make you a father! Raising and loving a child does! (Same for mothers) What a jerk the daughter is for chosing a man she barely knows, who literally attacked her mother, over the man who raised her her entire life and loved her and her mother despite the circumstances.
"Daughter" = ENTITLED BRIDEZILLA 💯😖
True absolutely
Not only giving her mother a heart attack and blaming her when karma gets back but also the lack of disrespect to her father I mean come on
@@Irondrakeshield* panic attack
A major league bridezilla 😒
@@Galaxifi same thing both attacks
@@Irondrakeshield2+2=6
I know it's wrong but same thing, it's math
The bio father and the youngest daughter really are cut from the same cloth.
Exactly what I was thinking!!! It's genetics. They deserve each other.
Everyone always goes to the person they wronged and tells them they "ruined my life" when they ruined their own life by wronging that person.
HOW THE 🦆 CAN THE DAUGHTER LACK SO MUCH EMPATHY?!😮
Like Father like Daughter in this case. Neither respect boundaries of those around them!!
How the fuck are you scared of saying fuck
Gets it from her dad
@@Band-Of-The-Falcon-1111 you don't inherit such shit, she brought it on herself...
@@ShadowBladee1 No, but people do tend to copy the people they talk to and spend time with, as well as people they like and look up to.
The fact that the daughter disrespected her father by not allowing him to walk her down the isle and also pushed her mother to trigger her trauma, it’s truly one of the most awful things I’ve heard of. The daughter is one of the most selfish and self absorbed humans, the daughter does not deserve her those parents.
I watched the whole video but for aome reason I cannot comment there so here I am.
That daughter is no daughter of this woman. The way she went straight to not care about such a huge fucked up thing and side with the rapist is unbelievable. It was unbelievable when she didn't know but what she did once she knew about is disgusting. Good riddance for you ma'am.
The "father" has some audacity to even talk to his victim like that. The amount of trauma he has inflicted upon his own close friend is horrible and then he turned her own people against her?! Disgusting, i tell you.
I can imagine the pain that this brings but I really think it’s a shame she would disregard her father for a stranger. Especially one who assaulted her mother. Even if she wasn’t that close it doesn’t matter because she took to stranger based on a DNA test. I hope she gets therapy too and I don’t wish her ill. I just don’t think someone who could identify with her mother’s attacker and abandon her dad because he doesn’t fit her idea of a wedding day is someone you should distance yourself from. She is making terrible decisions but young people often do. There are no instant fixes and until she respects your boundaries especially concerning your r*pist. She needs to stay away. The biological father sounds like a jerk. I noticed that he attacked you on the phone and made the daughter the only victim. He’s bad news it really is a shame he escaped justice.
I'm young and I make... A lot as in probably too many mistakes.
The daughter is rude
That’s a understatement
No shit sherlock
You're disrespecting rude people
@@friendlyneighborhoodshinigami -_-
@@friendlyneighborhoodshinigamiOh no!
why would you not tell YOUR DAUGHTER that she’s INVITING A RAPIST TO HER WEDDING??? idk man the moment she tried to make contact i would have laid it into her that he was a rapist because that just puts the daughter at risk
edit: i finished the story and jesus christ that daughter is just as bad as her fsther
The daughter is not okay
It's not your fault it's your friends fault because they salted you and made you pregnant and they should pay for their actions and go to jail for what they did to you and if you guys can't see that then you guys are delusional and your entire bright it on herself.
reading your comment gave me a stroke
That daughter is a sociopath with 0 empathy for her mother
0:57 for those coming from shorts😊
If she doesn’t know what she’s the product of then tell her as much.
Edit half way through. Good on op for telling the truth. To hell with this kid. She wants to be with her father after knowing all that, let her.
The biological father(rapist) most likely lied/s to the daughter & is manipulating the daughter.
The daughter needs therapy to help her understand the consequences of SA & help her understand what her mother has & still is going through. SA affects you for the rest of your life.
The fiancée dogged a bullet when he called of the wedding.
Nah the daughter is a monster
I was saed by a friend if a friend, and pregnancy occurred because of the vile moment. Thankfully i had a gloriously eccentric grammy who tended flowers, and herbs, she had a beautiful midnight garden that had moonflowers as big as dinner plates. She brewed balms, and rubs, teas and the such. Sge brewed me a cup of tea one midnight, the honey coverd up the slight bitterness of that wonderful little flower that my tea was produced from. The next morning shortly after the dawn cramps rolled over me like waves, and a slight time later the matter was discharged. A warm bath, a day of rest and my body was ok, my mind still relives the night that monster took what he wanted while laughing about the "she cat" fighting occasionally. Ladies, there will always be some men out there who will take what you dont want to give. Tend your gardens well, weed them, mist them, talk to them, there may come a time and i pray not, when you'll need to brew a tea.
So true so so true. Love how you made your point.
I don't believe in God, but I prayed after I heard this story. You are not at fault here whatsoever. As someone who IS a product of a rape, I am ashamed of your daughter for taking this so lightly and even more so at your parents. I hope you live a happy, and long fulfilling life. The best advice I can give you is to go NO contact with her for the time being.
Ok, cool
Amen!
Who did you pray to 🤨
@Timon-77 I specifically said "to whatever God is out there" and continued with my prayers. So i guess whichever God cares about a sinner like me. To me a true God answers all prayers for peace and love so I don't care if it was Buda Jesus or a Greek God.
I believe in God and am fine if you don't believe, bcuz my big sis and dad don't believe in God, but my dad believes in aliens.
It’s not your fault he probably told her a lie and said he wanted to apologize but what she doesn’t know is that she is probably a living reminder even though she never treated her differently she is hope all is well
Her daughter is depressed because of her bio father’s actions
Why would you keep a baby that triggers your ptsd every so often when you look at them, just put up for adoption.
Idk i think she might be a little autistic
She might not want an Innocent child to go to adoption as it usually is a cruel, toxic environment
As someone who went to an orphanage, I'd have preferred to have been thrown on a busy highway than to have lived through it.
Ever see a pet shelter? Ever see happy families go and pick their favorite pup out and then brag about it on social media? Well, the ones who don't get adopted generally get put down.
With humans, they just suffer, so imagine American Idol, except if you don't win, you'll never be happy.
Just because the child was a product of a terrible incident doesn’t mean the mother would not love or want the child still because in the end it is still the mothers child
Op's husband is an enabler who does anything his wife said no matter how bad it is. Trusting a traumatised person to make the right decision is pure dumb move by him.
pour laxetives in the cake
NAHHH bro 💀💀😈😈 that’d be crazy
Then lock the bathroom
Guys I found satan
real
They aren’t getting married so no cake needed.
You are a very strong woman. And you don't need to ashamed of anything that happened to you. It was not your fault
That is a horrible daughter. Sometimes blood is not thicker than water. You should ask her if she would be ok if you asked her Assaulter to family functions.
It,s really as simple as you should've told her the moment she reconnected with her father and explained that you never want to be in any kind of contact with him. Stop protecting predators!
Thank God for where i live abortions are legal
Because if I ever ended up getting graped by someone who I do or do not know
I am not keeping that baby
And from what I saw and someone's comment yes you can get PTSD from looking at a child
Especially from a child that came about from grape
You constantly remember how that child was conceived
A child can give you PTSD
And I wouldn't want to give birth to a child that would cause me those problems
Especially since I would not be able to fully take care of that child
Because of how that child was conceived
And you people can say what you want
But if I can't take responsibility for a kid financially I'm not going to keep it
And if the baby is a high risk baby
Then I'm not going to keep it
Because if he gets to the point where the doctors tell me that it's either you or the baby
Then I'm not going to keep it
I'm not going to give birth to a kid that I'm incapable of taking responsibility for
If I'm going to have a kid I'm going to make sure I take responsibility for it
Because it is my child and nobody else is so I should be taking responsibility for my kid if I decide to give birth to it nobody should be taking responsibility for my kid
These are just my choices and what I have for myself
If I can't take care of it I'm not going to keep it
I'll only keep it if I can take care of it
Adoption is out of the question
I'm not going to give my child up for adoption and let other people take care of my responsibility
I guess it’s an example of nature versus nurture. OP done nothing wrong but I hope daughter realizes her mistakes and apologized to her mom before it’s too late or before her bio father harms her 🍀
That's what I've been saying, and yes I hope so too. I honestly don't think he's changed if anything he's probably gotten better at hiding the monster he is.
Here is the problem in this OP should have sought help from the beginning. She just buried her trauma and ignored her daughter’s need to know who her true father was growing up and now she wants her daughter to choose her over him because she raised her and he is a horrible human being. The daughter is told after 20+ years she wasn’t conceived accidentally but by her mom getting violated by her best friend but mom was too scared and embarrassed so she decided not to tell her until after daughter has been in contact with him for 2 years where he has treated daughter with respect and love and so mom must be lying
WTF are you talking about??? Why would the mother lie? Why? And yes the daughter should side with her mother. She's her mother!!! Weather she was the best mother or not is besides the point, she's been with her from birth and now she just gets forgotten because she's found her "real" dad!!! Hell no that's not cool. And the mother has prove that he raped her, so how do you explain that? And who wants to admit they've been raped let alone lie about it. No way your wrong wrong wrong.
I really hope this story is fake because damn
Mother shouldve treated the daughter way colder the moment she still wanted to be with bio dad even after she knew what she was the product of
Personality can be genetic. Please be careful with whom you have children. So sorry to the mom. The dad and daughter can go to 🔥
Although I truly feel that, once she found out what the bio father did to her mother, the daughter should have stopped all communication with the bio dad, I also think this mother is not blameless here. She's had 24 years to deal with this and hasn't. She's lied to her daughter about her conception because she didn't want to be judged, but she expects her daughter to know how to deal with this after only a few months. Imagine admittedly treating one child differently than the rest of your children for circumstances out of her control, so much so that her dad has to overcompensate for you lack of mothering, and then being shocked that she's out looking for the love of a biological parent. The delusion is astounding.
Did you actually listen to the same story??? Because I strongly disagree with your comments. And while I do agree the mother should have told the daughter sooner. Just when should she have done that? It's not something any child wants to hear and if she told her daughter to early there's consequences for that to. And it's not a subject anyone wants to relive let alone talk about. And the mother admitted to handling it wrong but the father and yes I mean the man that raised and loved and treated her like his own was there when the mom couldn't be. It shouldn't matter if he was her biological father or not. She definitely got love and for you to justify her horrible selfish actions is disrespectful. The daughter isn't going to get the so called love she deserves from a rapist sperm donor. I honestly don't understand how you can side with that ungrateful selfish spiteful foolish daughter. But everyone is entitled to they're opinion.
I've never been happier to see a marriage get blown up before it even became official before lmao
This story. Wow
There are 2 types of people in the world people who handle their problems and face them head on and do not let it dictate their life or there’s people who push their problems away act like they never happen and they end up taking hold of their life. They say if you take the easy way out earlier it’s gonna be hard down the line. If you take the hard way in the beginning, it’s gonna be easier down the line and obviously you can see what has happened and what transpired, I just really hope things get better for your situation and you come to the realization that you are more than what has happened to you. You can’t change the past. There’s things you should’ve done differently, but you can continue to do better in the future.
Can we talk about OP's mother for a second? How can you believe someone else OVER YOUR OWN CHILD
Like grandma, the kid didn't believe her at first. Both are horrible.
As for her rapist saying her daughter was depressed because of her actions NO she is depressed because of his action 😡😡 what a lowlife
For short bros 0:53
THANK YOU BROTHA
and u get sweet revenge
OP should have just told the daughter 🤦🏻♀️ but also… why keep the baby that just reminds you of being assaulted and will just have resentment towards the child. The daughter is an absolute POS.
plus destroy all toilets
The actual shitty fuck?
Wana know why cause during raising her you probably neglected her and don’t realize it and with him she feels accepted congrats you played your self
Like father like daughter, horrible people
11:06 womp to the biggest mother f,ing womp ever
talking about the daughter, not the mother so please don’t get mad at me
Your daughter was cold selfish. It was her day and she could not care any less about anyone. She would have ruined the man who called off their wedding.
I could NEVER side with someone who hurt my Mother so badly😔I was VERY close to my Mother, especially after she received a terminal cancer diagnosis. Missing you still Mommy🥺💔💋
I won’t lie that’s fucked up 😓
I’m so confused. She was married with 3 children and went drinking at a friends house and he assaulted her? And everyone just thought she cheated?
I think it's easier for the daughter to believe her bio dad isn't this horrible rapist. Easier to see him as remorseful than to see him as mother does. It's unfair to place all the fault on her. She grew up with a totally different narrative. Now she has her own trauma to work through. The mother did her a disservice by keeping the truth from her for so long. I think all are trying to do the best with what they've been given. I suspect the daughter is also realizing the mother treated her differently for this reason. It's a lot to process. I'm glad Mom & Stepdad are in therapy. I hope the daughter gets to a place where she seeks it too.
I've worked with many kids who have grown up in families as a product of rape or incest. It's ugly & mentally damaging for the child. I hope this family can find a way to be a family again. This just makes me sad for all involved.
Her own mother treated this girl like an outcast. She said it herself. Let her develop a relationship with a man without telling her the truth for 2+ yrs. It was a disaster waiting to happen. Most of the time especially girls are going to chase the love and affection of an absent parent.
She made her choice, a rapist over her loving family. She now has to go through life alone . I can't wrap my head around her decision I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with him.
One thing I learned in life is that people only say half the story
How is she your youngest daughter??? If she was your first daughter???
she wasnt the first daughter, op was already married with kids when she was assaulted
It’s not your fault and it’s not her fault if you don’t want her biological dad then just don’t go but she’ll be upset and if she does tell her the truth before you tell her you’re not going
I watched the vid
You didn’t wanna tell cuz ur “ashamed”
I get that it would make her feel different from the rest of family
But still just cuz it feels shameful doesn’t mean u can’t tell her:/
Trauma makes you feel like you’re the bad guy when you try to explain what happened, it makes you disgusted with yourself and your mind convinces you that you wanted whatever happened to you, especially in sa cases
The mom is not entitled to tell her what happened, the fact the daughter tried to force her and her biological dad to get in the same room when he literally graped her
@@ergfbszdfg both of y’all are fair
And telling her she did and even after that she chose the grapist
*Where's The Video With The Rest Of The Updates!*
If the bio dad is serious about apoligizing, he needs to give her room, talk to her gradually, and not try to intrude into her relationship. the daughter is the real trouble, she seems go be causing everything. I say, when the mother is ready to forgive, if she ever will be, she will, at her own pace. And not at anyone else's.
Going through your childs whole life dreading the day they find out how they were conceived is terrible
You probably should have told her about the sexual assault
This situation probably would have been different if you had
Thank you I see all these comments calling out the daughter when she literally didn’t know she was a product of assault and only knew what the mother told her which was just a bad altercation
The update says that she was told, and then the daughter tried to foece OP with her r*pist in the same room... That is not ok
@@alejandroroman888 I feel like if she told her before she got in contact with the biological father things would have played out very differently
@@heretics_archiveit doesn't matter if she told her before or after meeting the bio father. The daughter should've cut contact with the man after finding out. Instead, she decided to blindside her mother with a physical meeting with her attacker and triggering her panic attack.
OP I’m with you 1M %. If your daughter had the sensitivity even of a rabid hyena, she should have sat down and asked/begged you for the truth. If she couldn’t get all the truth, she should have had the inner sense to know something was wrong and tried to understand your pain.
And for the issue of her stepfather (although real father) and his disability, a motorized wheelchair could be rented for the day. It could even be decorated with flowers and ribbons to go with the bridal colors. Your husband could then motor himself down the aisle next to your daughter. A daughter who loved her parents would do something like this.
I hate to say this, but your daughter does not love either of you. This isn’t always true but sometimes blood will out. Despite being raised well, your daughter is displaying the characteristics of her father, a violent criminal. If you and your husband are paying for the wedding, I’d cancel everything that hasn’t been paid in full. Then I’d cut ties with your daughter and continue on with your life. And if you haven’t seen a mental health doctor for your severe, untreated ptsd, I’d do it asap. It’s never too late and you deserve to live surrounded by love. God bless and keep you safe.
It sounds like this child felt the disdain around her , just in general.. You might not know,but she felt it. Might not have been able to put her finger on it ,but it was there… Your trauma should not have over shadowed a baby’s ,life you chose for…, 24 years of her life she did not know and lived a life with an underlying covert rejection, for 1 trauma you endured once. 24 years ago..She just learned of her origin story.. I’m sure she is reevaluating her whole identity, who she is and why ? You dropped a big emotional,mess on her during her wedding. It’s her wedding & what she wants & all over picking someone You didn’t want walking her down the isle , So you dumped something she had no knowledge of or involvement in..Over who’s walking her down the isle .. I’m confused.. The dad that stepped up , obviously seen you , not able to bond or even blame her for your trauma .. SURE , she should have him walking her down the isle. But what is her side of the story? BLAME THE Product of R, , AND PITTED the whole family against this child who did nothing but be born .. UNREAL.. THAT POOR GIRL. She lost everyone ,because of direct result of YOU & your in ability, to heal from a decades-old trauma.. INTURN .Making your youngest daughter, your permanent scape goat … & what part does your family take accountability & STOP being blind to you are victimizing this daughter for something that happened to you .. I don’t believe a therapist would ever say what you claimed either . How can you sit up on pedestal claiming worry for her, when you took EVERYTHING FROM HER including the safety you claim to worry about ,leaving her NOBODY…BUT YOUR accused ATTACKER .. SMH
Was so glad to read your comment! Thank you!! I cannot believe the ignorant heartless comments these clueless people are making about this child! And supporting this idiot almost evil mother!! While holding off on judgement of father- not enough facts- while doing so I also had no reason to doubt the mothers claims. With what little facts we know - even only have 1 side of the story- paying attention to whats happening the father actions the mothers words, storys behavors reactions!! So many pieces of the puzzle dont fit or make no sense at all!! I have figured out the truth. Confident without a doubt- the mother is full of BS! Is not nor has she ever been anyones victim except her own! Shes the user and abuser - she doesnt care who she hurts or destroys- or how bad- even if just to benefit herself in the slightest way.
I understand your daughter wanting to know her biological father but she should have excepted how you felt. Having that man in her life, separate from you is fine, but some trauma is just not that easy to get over. After hearing how you felt about him, she should have been willing to do things separately. Could have done the wedding with you and your family, then the next day spent with her father. Instead she is losing the whole experience. I'm sad for you both
Once Luna sent off for that 23andMe or whatever DNA ancestry service kit then she opened the literal Pandora's box to everything that could have possibly gone wrong.
Luna's birth father is also exploiting her desire to know him and the situation just like he had planned all along.
Luna's stepfather (AKA her REAL dad) and mother hopefully do not give up on her 🙏
I am in no way siding with the daughter at all when I say this, I am very glad the mother/OP got the support of those around them, but is there a possibility that since her mother pushed her away for all those years and she was most likely ostracized for being different from all the rest of her family that she might be trying to get that support? It’s not right but it sounds like she also needs therapy because no one should be siding with their parents r🍇ist especially for a man they’ve only met two years ago. She’s been raised by this family her whole life and felt so little connection to them she ran into the arms of a monster just to find solace. She is wrong and def needs therapy as well. I hope she ends up apologizing to her mom someday. OP really deserved better.
I'll be honest when I say that I kind of saw this coming because I've read the full story and op's comments from her posts and updates and I'm with you I'm not condoning what the daughter did and what happened to op was horrible,but let's be honest the daughter was not treated well her mother couldn't be in the same room as without a panic attack, the daughter siblings bullied her(yes op has said this) the stepdad sat there and essentially let it happen and never encouraged ppl to seek help and the families cut off op because they thought she cheated. Than you only tell the daughter days or a day before the daughter wedding( this was seriously not smart considering wedding stress) and people honestly expected the daughter to be grateful that she essentially was neglected and hated because of her existence,and wonder why she's choosing bio-dad over them yea I saw this coming from get go. What daughter did was wrong but op should had had gotten for herself and daughter a long time ago.
Not wanting to victim shame
But I always go by ''that explains it, doesn't excuse it tho!!''
And while her shame and trauma is reasonable
She should have told her daughter the moment she got in touch with her Bio-Dad...
Bc how DARE OP even letting that man CLOSE to her daughter after what he did to OP???
How couldn't she just jump over her shame to effin make her daughter SAVE, bc she wasn't!!!
The daughter wasn't save, someone as disgusting as a ra#€ist could do anything....
I have to say OP is genuenly a horrible mother, not for beeing a shamed or feeling the way she did, not for keeping it a secret that way actually very reasonable for the time beeing. BUT for not steping up when it was indeed needed!
The child is also horrible tbh for just throwing her REAL father under the buss! And I am not talking bio! Family is way more then blood and tbh a man that was never in her live shouldn't mean sh't. Her real father is OP's husband, end of diskussion.
Eddit: actually wrote this somehow thinking there was no other update and the story is over
Gosh the ending is even worse, that Daughter is just an awfull human beeing...can not even call THAT Human anymore...
But atleast she got exposed and sees the consequence of her action...except she ofc blames everyone else and not herself. Self reflection isn't there I gues.
OP is traumatized after not only having been assaulted, but then having her daughter (the product of that assault) know about it and still try to reconnect with the assaulter. Trauma and fear can make you do crazy things. I understand your point and I do believe that that’s why she eventually stepped up and said something. The daughter knew and chose the assaulter anyway, so it wouldn’t have done any good no matter how early OP told her daughter.
Daughters dad didn't just SA 1 woman, most likely he has a long string of victims and the possibility of him attacking his daughter or op is high at this point.
Hmmm trying not to discount even a bit- what was done to her or the pain and humiliation shes indured. We should Remember... 2 sides to every story- have to 🤔or should hear both sides being fully informed i order to make a fair or just opinion. Unfortunately we havent heard his. But by Paying attention to what facts we do have along with other info obtained just by listing and observing! In my opinion He doesn't seem like a heartless abuser with a trail of victims!!! She made it very clear a few times that they were very close/best friends for several yrs. Grew up together as best friends always together! I believe she said? that even as close as they were for as many yrs they had never dated each other or experienced that type relationship. But stated she always knew he liked her in that way. And emphasized he always treated her with high respect in every way! (For yrs)! Again not discounting in any way his crime against her!! The way she describes him and her not giving any details at all about the actual assault - other than they were at college together- one night they had gone to his place to drink .... dont think she said party? We know College students getting together to drink-( In my day no matter if its 2 or 52 friends together to drink- of course partying is the intent goes without saying)😊 surley they had done many times! That statement along w/. and ..."after i had been drinking(im pretty sure really meaning...when I got drunk) he raped me!! Was it brutal did he hurt her in any other way- was he mean and threatening. Or did he just not stop when she told him to? (Not that any of it is ok) She didnt say how forceful she was in trying to stop him! Did she fight or yell. Was she to drunk to really struggle or defend herself? She never said- remember- he was drinking as well- we dont know how drunk he was? Its surprising to me that - with the amt of trauma, pain, hatred anger to date at the boiling point of rage still after 20+ yrs. !! I would think she couldnt stop herself from lashing out more regarding what he put her through during the attack.!! Now she was hurt because her family and others didnt believe her including the police! He denied it and they believed him! So she finally gave up and dropped the charges!!!! So I was really surprised- happy but.....confused when he admitted his guilt to when daughter confronted him!!!! 🤔 Or did he really?? We just assumed he must have admitted his guilt- if ge wanted to go talk to her mother and apologize!! After all these yrs. Still not making sense! Typically peoples nature- especially men- never change their innocent plea or admitting guilt especially to this type of evil nasty crime and to your daughter- WHY?
everyone has always believed without a doubt your innocent. No evidence to pr'ove different! 🤔 Just a few more things that arent making any sense to me!!!
Like wtf? That daughter has some nerve..
0:58 if you’re here from the short
W
I don’t think it’s fair to blame the daughter… she started a relationship with her bio dad before knowing the story. She got close to him and probably faster than she should have because of her mom not being close with her her entire life. She was born with a messed up backstory but her siblings doing that to her just wasn’t ok
Nah bruh, this story is fake as hell
Wrong, you know nothing about SA.
Your attitude is why so many SA are never reported or reported many many years after the fact.
@@lorettarussell3235 lmao
Thanking God that the abortion was illegal 🙏
I think the youngest the one that dislikes you is just to spoiled
Your daughter is so selfish, even though she doesn't know about her father who is your.. but this is too much from the daughter.
For those who want to know its *53* second's to follow on from the short!
I tried to post on the main page but couldn't.
All I wanted to say "drama" such as this is because of all the secrecy, all the lies. Family needs to know the unvarnished, ugly truth from the beginning. In the beginning, if you came out with the truth, nobody but the rapist would be disowned. As it should be. Now, because it is so late in the game, people will be hurt. But even so be brave, be strong & tell the truth. You were brave once when you kept your beautiful baby. Be brave again.
I know it's hard. I have done this. Kept documents, court records, pictures, ER visits, doctor visits in my file cabinets so that my youngest knows the reason why I had to divorce his father. And because of the documentation, I have a restraining order for life. I was also able to have his father's supervised visitation with him revoked because of his noncompliance. It was more for me because I didn't want him hurt, dead, or kidnapped. Yes he threatened & he tried. I guess he thought I was too embarrassed that I believed that he was a nice guy & wouldn't talk. He was wrong. My children are my blessings, my life, my everything. Always tell the truth to your children so they will always know you tell the truth & so they can cone to you with their truth & won't judge them but direct them because you love them. My children are from 25 to 45 & we are truthful even when we think badly of ourselves. That's family.
daughter is 100% in the wrong. the fact that she forgave her mother's rapist so quickly and even tried to get her mother to meet with him (after being told repeatedly that her mother did not want to be anywhere near him) is absolutely disgusting. she is a selfish person and deserved every bit of karma she got in the end.
Your daughter isn’t depressed because of your actions. Your daughter is depressed because of her own actions.
Your daughter should be ashamed of herself. You cannot force someone else's healing to begin. She has never been traumatized by anything in her life, and I'm very happy for her. You just can't wish away someone else's trauma. As a grown woman she should know that. I'm very sorry you were put in such a dangerous situation again. ❤😊
I re watched the whole thing and the whole thing is tragic. I'm first sorry for what you've been through. Your husband as well. I understand not wanting to hurt your daughter, but excuse me for saying so but she sounds a bit spoiled and not very understanding. Maybe a trait that came from bio Dad. You've done nothing wrong except not getting help years ago. I pray it all works out. Good bless to you all and hope you can all start a healing journey now. Good luck. 🙏💕
You did the right thing to keep your baby. God bless your husband for raising her as his own. What I see missing from your life is a relationship with God. He created that child, and to know Him is to be able to heal and forgive and so much more. Praying for His guidance and for your Salvation. 🙏❤️
You experienced a horrific event and didn’t receive needed counseling early. But as I listen to your side it sounds like you finally got back against him at your daughter expense if she been given opportunity to understand what happened beforehand and perhaps emotional support and/or counseling instead of living in a situation she never had a chance to fully understand nor
Time in days or weeks or months what you did not resolved meaningfully yourself . I don’t flaunt you but I don’t fault your daughter your therapists should not say it OK what happened to your daughter. It not OK. In the end only our relationship and memories we left with matters
Learning how to love and bridge the difficulties in spite
Of what left throws us is the real legacy we leave for our children . My prayer is that what really matters most on family will strengthen you not the discord that not only weakens relationships but destroys families
I mean I’m kinda feeling a little bit bad for both of them and here is why-
The mom had a traumatic horrible experience and was very traumatized as she had every right to be. She didn’t want to see him for a good reason and she made that very clear.
But the daughter at first didn’t know what had happened with her bio dad and just might have wanted to meet him or something. When she found out, what she did was absolutely wrong but maybe she thought she was helping you.
I don’t think your other kids should have dragged her name through the mud and ruined her happy relationship and wedding.
My silly ahhhhh opinion 😝
All of this could have been avoided if you had just told your children the truth years ago. You cannot run from trauma. You cannot run from the truth. If you avoid dealing with something it just gets harder to face and people get hurt. I don’t think her daughter is emotionally intelligent enough to know how to handle any of this like an adult. If anything her inability to understand what she did wrong is a testimony to how protected and loved she was. Spoiling her didn’t make any of this better though because you as the adult, as a mother, should have faced your demons years ago. Your husband shouldn’t have let you hide from what happened to you either. He should have gently persuaded you to what’s best for your family by getting the help you needed. When you don’t put your oxygen mask on first, meaning if you don’t take care of YOURSELF first, everyone you love is in danger. I will pray for you and your family. I hope that you can all work through this and be close again.
For context Before ANYONE feels they have the right to come at me for my opinion, I had the same thing happen to me when I was 17. Except I didn’t have a husband. My own parents disowned me and insisted I lied about the attack which left me with brain damage and balance issues to this day from the head injury sustained by my attacker. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl and my parents reentered my life and pushed me to put my child up for adoption. I hate that I let them talk me into doing that every single day I have breath in my body. I ache for my daughter but it was closed so I don’t even begin to know how to find her without tons of money for a lawyer. So believe me when I say… I’m on the mother’s side by saying everything I did. I just want everyone to find their way back to being a family again because family is the most important thing in the world.
It makes me sad about what happened to you. My best friends mother and father drink a lot when she was a child, they had drunks over their house daily and one of the drunks raped her and she was under thirteen and when she started showing no one cared and she ended up having the baby and she brought the baby home!
This child has treated her so bad because the child was angry with the father for rapping the mom!
Because my friend was so young she had no information on the father to offer her child!
Now with all that being said, with the banding of abortions, even if the woman was raped by outsider a relative or even her father she still has to carry that baby to term!
This Decision frightens me because some mothers are going to commit suicide and some are just gonna lose their mind because they’re carrying the rapist Baby and Donald Trump and the supreme court do not see your pain at all.
The OP's youngest daughter was better off staying away from her bio dad because he has proven that he has no remorse for his actions and never will plus as much as it hurts, the ex fiance of the OP's daughter made the right decision to end the engagement and walk away but the daughter has herself to blame for that consequence and no one else down the line.
To primacloth: Why would you do that to a child who is completely innocent in all aspects and make them suffer for something their Father did to their Mother?
It is not your daughter's fault that you didn't tell her the truth. Don't blame her for 'disrespecting' the man who raised her. If you had told the truth she probably would have understood that you didn't want to be near him.
This is the time to tell her. Tell her! She is old enough now to process this, and she needs to know how special the love of her "adopted" father is ... and what a jerk her biological father is.
I would advise you focus on yourself and be happy. As for your daughter, she is selfish. it will be better she gets to know her genetic dad and experience who he is for herself so she learns lesson for life.