I was abused many years ago. These pasted few days I've struggled to get over what happened to me. But I'm coming to terms with it now. Thank you for the video
This is 8 years ago (wow) and I still wish I could do it all over again for a better storytelling experience for the audience! I think it would be so much better now, but this was heartfelt and authentic ❤
As a survivor of child sexual abuse, I have to say I liked your analogy of the bucket. I admit that I am still working on getting through it myself while at the same time working on writing a book for others that support survivors. I found this video because I was doing research and trying to find something that would help keep me focused.
+Myko Rayne that's a great growth opportunity, good luck! Can't wait to read it - please do send me a link when it's done I'd love to share it with my clients. ~Dr. Taylor Burrowes
I'm still trying to work my way thru my tipping point, all that was then becomes now all fears and pain overwhelms you now, anxiety and social exclusion.. why, and hows, anger and resentments . .. I'm getting help and doing better now
That's great to hear! It's not an easy road, but you will find peace one day just keep believing in your healing process - or lean heavily on those who support you when you lose sight.
Thank you for doing this video and for not being afraid to expose this horrible truth. We all need to work together and not be afraid to put these people behind bars. The more we show that abusing children will not be tolerated, the stronger and more loving our society will become. If we turn a blind eye, we allow it to continue. This can happen to anyones child, in any country, it's widespread and much bigger than you can imagine.
It can be the hardest thing in the world, but you can get there - there are so many people who do understand and can support you. Sending you positivity!!!
Jen G, you and your children are welcome! I hope it helps in small ways and in global ones...thank you for taking the time to watch and experience the message.
You are tremendously brave to live through and beyond the horrors of Abuse. Keep going... and if you need anything else to support your growth please let me/us know. Tburrowes@wellnesscentre.ky
Thank you so much for watching ... If you can spare a moment to reflect on the message and note a word or few words ... Or a whole lot of words... About your experience of my talk or impressions, etc... I would love to know how it resonates. Thank you all for spreading the message!
+Katherine Lopez just saw this. We need help locally and globally. In Cayman we need to change some of the laws which I am trying to contribute to. We also need more training and personnel for the rehabilitation of sex offenders so that the courts will better protect future assaults and abuses from happening. Our facilities are limited and we need funding. For starters!
Taylor Nixon You spoke about how this was part of your doctoral research and your passion for this really shows. What kind of outcome are you wanting to see as a result from your message?
+Sharaine Conner Thank you for engaging this dialogue. This topic truly requires continued conversation and exposure to effect meaningful change. I have recently been appointed as Deputy Chair of the newly established Cayman Islands Mental Health Commission and I am hoping that increased visibility and evidence of such a social plague will catalyze attention to the rampant collusive and complicit attitudes and behaviors of many in places like the Caribbean, Africa, etc...The official reports in Cayman indicate 214 cases of sexual abuse, incest or defilement since 2000 (I wasn't able to emphasize this in the talk). These low numbers are contrary to the clinical evidence we know justifies it as a local/regional epidemic. In order to encourage more accountability within families we must provide remediation for offenders so that we give parents and family members an opportunity to choose to get their loved ones help when they discover these sexual behavior tendencies - no matter how young it starts - the sooner we call it what it is, the better! Committing abuse is a conscious choice, but we continuously see justifications for these crimes that leave the victims carrying the backlash and the offenders are lacking the proper interventions to extinguish these behaviors or even punish them as appropriate. We have to start reacting to these abuses appropriately as a global community.
What if the abuse is structural, generational and attached to a religion or cult? What happens when the abused become enamored with their abuser thus protecting them from any legal course of action. The problem that I think Dr. Burrowes failed to hint on is that many of these perpetuators are very well educated and connected and they know that "trauma-bonding" creates loyalty in their victims. I know a girl who protects her perpetuator. He provides everything for her and even calls him Daddy. You can't win against that. There is never any winning when a child's mine has been warped and twisted by the abuser. I'm sorry to say that, but I know this because I was abused by multiple family members and I later abused someone close to me. This type of stuff is generational and methodical. There is no way to combat it.
Very informative and interesting. Looking forward to your research. I have a keen interest in the subject as a mother of 2 girls, a social and behaviour change communicator and social justice activist. I have a different approach though. Given the stories behind these cases I think more emphasis should be placed in tackling the predisposing factors that cause our women and girls to find themselves in risky situations in the first place. While we may catch the perpetrator, the damage is already done. Another perpetrator will rise. It does nothing to change the situations of these victims and reduce their vulnerabilities. That not been done, its only a matter of time before there is a repeat of the situation.
So enjoy reading new and thoughtful comments! I will digest your insights and reply soon! All the best to you #Synergy #SocialJustice #TedxTalk #CaymanIslands #Globalization
Maybe cuz I’m deaf and had to rely on the captions to understand what you said. I found the speech rather confusing and didn’t understand how all the points connect together, especially for what is needed to help bring healing to survivors. Are you saying you can’t help survivors heal until we change the system that allows perpetrators to get away with what they do?
@@DrTaylorBurrowes Im currently waiting for trauma councling unfortunately our systems clogged up because I am one of thousands 😢 But thanks for the kind words even just a kind word helps xxxxx.TY 🌷🌷🌷🌷💜
she seems to get the whole power dynamic within abuse but she fails to find a reasonable way to deal with it. she makes a lot of generalizations, assumptions, and peppers in her own fru-fru therapist kumbaya shit. men aren't the only ones sexual abusing girls. that's one. two: some people are better than others and that is a fact. as long as decent people are decent, i am equal to them, but i am BETTER than a sexual offender. a sexual offender is BELOW me because i would NEVER be capable of such evil and monstrosity as a child rapist is capable of. violence can sometimes be an appropriate response. it is a defense mechanism and it can be used as a form of containment and punishment (death penalty, etc.). violence against an innocent person is NEVER the answer and should always be avoided and judged and demonized, because that person does not DESERVE the violence, therefore it is called abuse. violence against a guilty person is justifiable because they sometimes, it does depend on a case by case bases at times but in the case of a child rapist i don't ever see how anyone could remotely and with their conscious defend them, they DESERVE it. defend yourself with violence. it is you or them. all of us working through a solution to try to stop, prevent, and punish those who sexually abuse is a goal we all should involve ourselves in. some people are sick. they are inhuman and they have the capability to overpower and oppress another human being through abuse, and one of the worst abuses is sexual abuse. justice towards these people are the only way to deal with the issue. teaching children to feel love and peace is fine, because they should love themselves and know that what happened to them doesn't define them, but they shouldn't feel guilty of hatred. hating someone who sexually abused you is fine. being angry is fine. wanting revenge is fine. we should teach these victims how to effectively and cleverly use hatred, anger, and revenge to seek a reasonable form of justice within the law, to not let these emotions control their lives and cloud their judgement or prevent us from living a happy life. because really, if the rapist got away with hisher crime and you're too focused on "being happy as a form of revenge, that'll show him/her" mentality, they are going to do it again. they aren't going to stop. you won't be the last one. someone has to do something about them, and since in many cases the law or judicial system won't handle it (due to discrepancies within the law), and no god is going to answer your prayers (and waiting around for god to do something is useless), you have to do something yourself (within the law of course).
No discussion of the law, no discussion of court cases or outcomes. A 14 year old girl is sent to you, she says her stepfather has sex with her. The issue is reported and he can't be arrested because of lack of evidence? Your detail is: "He said... she said ... whatever ..." It sounds to me like he denied the allegation and your evasiveness implies there is a good chance the girl was lying ... and this is your best example for your talk. Something is missing here. You knew about the activity, you don't say how the girl avoided pregnancy, you don't say how the mother reacted. Then off you go on tangents like looking for crabs and dog eat dog mentality. You participate in a Government-funded programme for victims of sexual abuse ... so you have a vested interest in exaggerating the situation and everything points towards that.
Very few men watch these video topics because very few men make an income from social work. Nonetheless my advice to all men is that they should never have a relationship with a woman who has teenage female children. There is a very good chance that the man you are describing as a criminal was falsely accused by this teenager. It's possible she felt angry with him because he displaced her number one position with her mother. Or she could have become attracted to him and was angry at the manner he rejected her attempts at gaining his attention. The mother would have inside information that is critical and you avoid mentioning the mother entirely.
Thanks so much for your in depth reflections and taking the time to comment! Unfortunately in Cayman the population is so small that I could not use a specific case example without breaching confidentiality. Therefore I had to generalize (which may have created that interpretation of evasiveness) from one case that echoes similar circumstances in tens of cases of sexual abuse in this country and also the Caribbean as a region. If I were to go into more stats and facts I would have certainly diffused your argument, but my goal wasn't to convince the audience that allegations were true. You are free to interpret what I shared and colour the story with your own opinion. I will watch the video you suggested, thanks for the reference. Gratefully, Dr. Burrowes
+Dr. Taylor Burrowes My opinion of you is that you are genuine and intelligent. In Western democratic countries there is an avalanche of negative effects from third wave feminism. I realise now you are NOT one of the radicals but your video may be looked upon by people who will take a negative approach. I hope you will also watch the video series: ♦ Fiamengo File ♦ → I think Professor Janice Fiamengo will enlighten you on what is making many intelligent men very angry. Radical feminists are making an assault on men like never before. When I started looking into it I could hardly believe it myself. Be aware that there are thousands of men who are stuck in prison (for decades, some for life) because of the accusations of flawed women who have lied. Such as a deluded teen saying things about a stepfather - simply because he rejected her advances. The judicial process is not working fairly for men when they are falsely accused. In the Cayman Islands perhaps a stepfather could give his side of the story. In many other places he is arrested, waits a year in remand, then he is told if he doesn't plea guilty and show remorse he risks life in prison.
+Harry Seldon I actually have also don't some sexual offender training and I think that the rehab and response to accused and convicted sex offender needs a thorough revision. I agree it is a neglected side to the solution of the problem. As well as further exploration of healthy and visible sexuality in social development of youth. Wrongly accused persons don't happen often here because it is very rare that a familial sex offender goes to jail here. It is the accusing child that typically goes through negative consequences here. By the court, by the school yard, by the system. Accused perps aren't asked to leave the household, the children are put into group homes instead and they are shunned by their peers. However, I believe that the sex offender or accused sex offender must be heard and must receive compassionate care as well. Thanks again for references video; I'm looking forward to watching it. Gratefully, Dr. Burrowes
I was abused many years ago. These pasted few days I've struggled to get over what happened to me. But I'm coming to terms with it now. Thank you for the video
John CR Smithton thank you for watching and for your courage in talking about it. Let me know if I can help in any way... I will do what I can.
This is 8 years ago (wow) and I still wish I could do it all over again for a better storytelling experience for the audience! I think it would be so much better now, but this was heartfelt and authentic ❤
As a survivor of child sexual abuse, I have to say I liked your analogy of the bucket. I admit that I am still working on getting through it myself while at the same time working on writing a book for others that support survivors. I found this video because I was doing research and trying to find something that would help keep me focused.
+Myko Rayne that's a great growth opportunity, good luck! Can't wait to read it - please do send me a link when it's done I'd love to share it with my clients. ~Dr. Taylor Burrowes
I'm still trying to work my way thru my tipping point, all that was then becomes now all fears and pain overwhelms you now, anxiety and social exclusion.. why, and hows, anger and resentments . .. I'm getting help and doing better now
Keep going Sue!
That's great to hear! It's not an easy road, but you will find peace one day just keep believing in your healing process - or lean heavily on those who support you when you lose sight.
She is a good, public speaker. Child abuse is a very difficult subject. Taylor is speaking humanely and practically.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you for doing this video and for not being afraid to expose this horrible truth. We all need to work together and not be afraid to put these people behind bars. The more we show that abusing children will not be tolerated, the stronger and more loving our society will become. If we turn a blind eye, we allow it to continue. This can happen to anyones child, in any country, it's widespread and much bigger than you can imagine.
Jackie Brown definitely Jackie, thank you for your comment - I hope people are reading it!
thankyou so much for this, I'm fighting my own battle right now got to stay positive light at end of the tunnel
It can be the hardest thing in the world, but you can get there - there are so many people who do understand and can support you. Sending you positivity!!!
Sue R There is light. Survivor here! Some days are easier than others. Hang in there.
Sue R stay in there. It happened to me many years ago I'm coming to terms with it and it's helping a lot. I'm starting a blog to help others soon
That was the most succinct and well delivered message about abuse that I have seen. Thank you. From me, my children, and obo all children.
Jen G, you and your children are welcome! I hope it helps in small ways and in global ones...thank you for taking the time to watch and experience the message.
hard to listen, even harder to live through
You are tremendously brave to live through and beyond the horrors of Abuse. Keep going... and if you need anything else to support your growth please let me/us know. Tburrowes@wellnesscentre.ky
Thanks
too true
This woman is exactly correct about society. One upmanship, ego, etc by adults and children being vulnerable are stuck in the dynamics. Of community
Thank you so much for watching ... If you can spare a moment to reflect on the message and note a word or few words ... Or a whole lot of words... About your experience of my talk or impressions, etc... I would love to know how it resonates. Thank you all for spreading the message!
This is amazing. I would love to join forces and discuss possible solutions....us has reached genocide proportions...
Yes, let's "join forces" definitely I'm all for that!
Taylor, at the end of your video you said that you need help. How can I help?
appreciate your message, wish it had more views
+Katherine Lopez just saw this. We need help locally and globally. In Cayman we need to change some of the laws which I am trying to contribute to. We also need more training and personnel for the rehabilitation of sex offenders so that the courts will better protect future assaults and abuses from happening. Our facilities are limited and we need funding. For starters!
I love this video. I'm going to share it in my masters of social work class. Striving for humility... great video!
Thank you! Yes, please share with anyone you think may benefit & help spread the intentions #bucket mending #synergy seeking #humble warrior
Taylor Nixon You spoke about how this was part of your doctoral research and your passion for this really shows. What kind of outcome are you wanting to see as a result from your message?
+Sharaine Conner
Thank you for engaging this dialogue. This topic truly requires continued conversation and exposure to effect meaningful change. I have recently been appointed as Deputy Chair of the newly established Cayman Islands Mental Health Commission and I am hoping that increased visibility and evidence of such a social plague will catalyze attention to the rampant collusive and complicit attitudes and behaviors of many in places like the Caribbean, Africa, etc...The official reports in Cayman indicate 214 cases of sexual abuse, incest or defilement since 2000 (I wasn't able to emphasize this in the talk). These low numbers are contrary to the clinical evidence we know justifies it as a local/regional epidemic. In order to encourage more accountability within families we must provide remediation for offenders so that we give parents and family members an opportunity to choose to get their loved ones help when they discover these sexual behavior tendencies - no matter how young it starts - the sooner we call it what it is, the better! Committing abuse is a conscious choice, but we continuously see justifications for these crimes that leave the victims carrying the backlash and the offenders are lacking the proper interventions to extinguish these behaviors or even punish them as appropriate. We have to start reacting to these abuses appropriately as a global community.
What if the abuse is structural, generational and attached to a religion or cult? What happens when the abused become enamored with their abuser thus protecting them from any legal course of action. The problem that I think Dr. Burrowes failed to hint on is that many of these perpetuators are very well educated and connected and they know that "trauma-bonding" creates loyalty in their victims. I know a girl who protects her perpetuator. He provides everything for her and even calls him Daddy. You can't win against that. There is never any winning when a child's mine has been warped and twisted by the abuser. I'm sorry to say that, but I know this because I was abused by multiple family members and I later abused someone close to me. This type of stuff is generational and methodical. There is no way to combat it.
What an amazing video truly uplifting, healing, & encouraging to me - God bless & thank you so much 🙏🙏
I'm so glad it was encouraging for you! All the best to you.
< 3 same to you!
Awesome speech! Really helped me.
Alex I'm happy something positive came from it for you. All the best! :)
Taylor Burrowes thank you. Likewise :)
Very informative and interesting. Looking forward to your research. I have a keen interest in the subject as a mother of 2 girls, a social and behaviour change communicator and social justice activist. I have a different approach though. Given the stories behind these cases I think more emphasis should be placed in tackling the predisposing factors that cause our women and girls to find themselves in risky situations in the first place. While we may catch the perpetrator, the damage is already done. Another perpetrator will rise. It does nothing to change the situations of these victims and reduce their vulnerabilities. That not been done, its only a matter of time before there is a repeat of the situation.
So enjoy reading new and thoughtful comments! I will digest your insights and reply soon! All the best to you #Synergy #SocialJustice #TedxTalk #CaymanIslands #Globalization
So heartfelt and powerful, Taylor! #Courage
Wow thanks guys! #tedxfamily
Maybe cuz I’m deaf and had to rely on the captions to understand what you said. I found the speech rather confusing and didn’t understand how all the points connect together, especially for what is needed to help bring healing to survivors. Are you saying you can’t help survivors heal until we change the system that allows perpetrators to get away with what they do?
No, it was not complex- it was disjointed and unfocused. If I were grading it as an essay, I would assume it had been hastily composed.
It is not just the men woman can do this as well but it is quite rare.
Yes that's true but the numbers are significantly lower, so mainly we speak in generalizations to men as the predominant abusers.
Unfortunately my mother chose to ignore my pleas for her father to stop touching me..what a joke her fk was more important than her 5kids.
@@DrTaylorBurrowes Im currently waiting for trauma councling unfortunately our systems clogged up because I am one of thousands 😢 But thanks for the kind words even just a kind word helps xxxxx.TY 🌷🌷🌷🌷💜
clan Macbeth me too by my father. You are in my thoughts and prayers for a healed life
Wow Taylor! That is all :-)
she seems to get the whole power dynamic within abuse but she fails to find a reasonable way to deal with it. she makes a lot of generalizations, assumptions, and peppers in her own fru-fru therapist kumbaya shit. men aren't the only ones sexual abusing girls. that's one. two: some people are better than others and that is a fact. as long as decent people are decent, i am equal to them, but i am BETTER than a sexual offender. a sexual offender is BELOW me because i would NEVER be capable of such evil and monstrosity as a child rapist is capable of. violence can sometimes be an appropriate response. it is a defense mechanism and it can be used as a form of containment and punishment (death penalty, etc.). violence against an innocent person is NEVER the answer and should always be avoided and judged and demonized, because that person does not DESERVE the violence, therefore it is called abuse. violence against a guilty person is justifiable because they sometimes, it does depend on a case by case bases at times but in the case of a child rapist i don't ever see how anyone could remotely and with their conscious defend them, they DESERVE it. defend yourself with violence. it is you or them. all of us working through a solution to try to stop, prevent, and punish those who sexually abuse is a goal we all should involve ourselves in. some people are sick. they are inhuman and they have the capability to overpower and oppress another human being through abuse, and one of the worst abuses is sexual abuse. justice towards these people are the only way to deal with the issue. teaching children to feel love and peace is fine, because they should love themselves and know that what happened to them doesn't define them, but they shouldn't feel guilty of hatred. hating someone who sexually abused you is fine. being angry is fine. wanting revenge is fine. we should teach these victims how to effectively and cleverly use hatred, anger, and revenge to seek a reasonable form of justice within the law, to not let these emotions control their lives and cloud their judgement or prevent us from living a happy life. because really, if the rapist got away with hisher crime and you're too focused on "being happy as a form of revenge, that'll show him/her" mentality, they are going to do it again. they aren't going to stop. you won't be the last one. someone has to do something about them, and since in many cases the law or judicial system won't handle it (due to discrepancies within the law), and no god is going to answer your prayers (and waiting around for god to do something is useless), you have to do something yourself (within the law of course).
I completely agree - I didn't get to explain the "how" part as well as I had hoped. I'm looking to do a part 2. Thanks for your comments!
+BlackRose2354 abused much brah :v
I highly suggest you consider that it's not just or primarily socialization but evolution, nature and they are interconnected.
No discussion of the law, no discussion of court cases or outcomes. A 14 year old girl is sent to you, she says her stepfather has sex with her. The issue is reported and he can't be arrested because of lack of evidence? Your detail is: "He said... she said ... whatever ..." It sounds to me like he denied the allegation and your evasiveness implies there is a good chance the girl was lying ... and this is your best example for your talk. Something is missing here. You knew about the activity, you don't say how the girl avoided pregnancy, you don't say how the mother reacted. Then off you go on tangents like looking for crabs and dog eat dog mentality. You participate in a Government-funded programme for victims of sexual abuse ... so you have a vested interest in exaggerating the situation and everything points towards that.
Very few men watch these video topics because very few men make an income from social work. Nonetheless my advice to all men is that they should never have a relationship with a woman who has teenage female children. There is a very good chance that the man you are describing as a criminal was falsely accused by this teenager. It's possible she felt angry with him because he displaced her number one position with her mother. Or she could have become attracted to him and was angry at the manner he rejected her attempts at gaining his attention.
The mother would have inside information that is critical and you avoid mentioning the mother entirely.
The ManWomanMyth video titled "ManWomanMyth - Family - Child Abuse" is informative.
Thanks so much for your in depth reflections and taking the time to comment! Unfortunately in Cayman the population is so small that I could not use a specific case example without breaching confidentiality. Therefore I had to generalize (which may have created that interpretation of evasiveness) from one case that echoes similar circumstances in tens of cases of sexual abuse in this country and also the Caribbean as a region. If I were to go into more stats and facts I would have certainly diffused your argument, but my goal wasn't to convince the audience that allegations were true. You are free to interpret what I shared and colour the story with your own opinion. I will watch the video you suggested, thanks for the reference.
Gratefully,
Dr. Burrowes
+Dr. Taylor Burrowes My opinion of you is that you are genuine and intelligent. In Western democratic countries there is an avalanche of negative effects from third wave feminism. I realise now you are NOT one of the radicals but your video may be looked upon by people who will take a negative approach.
I hope you will also watch the video series:
♦ Fiamengo File ♦ → I think Professor Janice Fiamengo will enlighten you on what is making many intelligent men very angry.
Radical feminists are making an assault on men like never before. When I started looking into it I could hardly believe it myself.
Be aware that there are thousands of men who are stuck in prison (for decades, some for life) because of the accusations of flawed women who have lied. Such as a deluded teen saying things about a stepfather - simply because he rejected her advances. The judicial process is not working fairly for men when they are falsely accused.
In the Cayman Islands perhaps a stepfather could give his side of the story.
In many other places he is arrested, waits a year in remand, then he is told if he doesn't plea guilty and show remorse he risks life in prison.
+Harry Seldon I actually have also don't some sexual offender training and I think that the rehab and response to accused and convicted sex offender needs a thorough revision. I agree it is a neglected side to the solution of the problem. As well as further exploration of healthy and visible sexuality in social development of youth. Wrongly accused persons don't happen often here because it is very rare that a familial sex offender goes to jail here. It is the accusing child that typically goes through negative consequences here. By the court, by the school yard, by the system. Accused perps aren't asked to leave the household, the children are put into group homes instead and they are shunned by their peers. However, I believe that the sex offender or accused sex offender must be heard and must receive compassionate care as well. Thanks again for references video; I'm looking forward to watching it.
Gratefully,
Dr. Burrowes
No abuser will ever be my equal...
Sooo... no one is talking about how pretty her clothes are😂??
LaffyTaffyJaffy 19 not sure what you mean?
Maybe misrepresented. Not helpful for those trying now to heal
I don't understand Jennifer, what do you mean not helpful? I have helped countless survivors heal, as well as myself.
jody at seven
kaitlin douglas eds heaven
shermans bread leavened
jodys cayman egg
douglas fucks up go ask greg
aqualung scott beg
linda brothers weds
jodi welchs brand new keds
medusas snake heads
Patriarchy... when she said that, I stopped watching this video.
You’re part of the problem.