I actually lived in an old manor in the woods with this guy. So very literal. Everything was idyllic until it turned into a horror story lmao. I still have nightmares about running through those woods trying to escape some creature.
It does feel real at the beginning, but it's also too good to be true. It ends up being unbelievable with the discard. We think they cared, and it felt like they never did because how can someone treat you that cruelly.
i LIKE AND PREFER Raw Motivations' reminders that THE NARCISSIST NEVER CARED FOR YOU!!!!! i started an entire playlist because of THAT reminder!!!! THAT belief or fact that they NEVER cared WORKS BEST FOR ME in my healing, very painful though it is to hear and even though i was only exposed to dude for about 2 weeks! STILL i hate to think that he never cared ... AND WILL NEVER CARE!!!!!! BUT i NEED to hear and be reminded of that, for me, FACT!!! PEACE!!!!
This is an interesting perspective. I can see that the beginning is the realest part of the relationship for the narcissistic person. But it wasn’t real for the other person since the person they present in the beginning is not the real person. For the narcissistic person, it is part of the “high” they’re feeling because they feel so good and think we are going to solve all of their problems. But they were already broken before us. It’s a bizarre thing because that means the narcissist will continue to repeat these cycles until they either pass away or run out of supply.
I don't think it really matters if any of it was real because it's so toxic it's dead and stinking and will never be revisited again. It's great to learn about how narcissists think and behave and it's even better to understand myself and the codependency I didn't realize I had. Understanding myself brings about positive changes so I never experience this toxicity again. I thank GOD for the lessons learned from the painful experience. I'm healing everyday and I hope they heal too. Narcissism and codependency are the left and right wings of the same unhealthy unhealed bird.
BEAUTIFUL comment!!! totally agree!!! i actually started a series about the lessons i learned from dude called: My Gifts [lessons learned!] from a Narcissist. the only difference between us is, and i'm even MORE THANKFUL TO GOD, my exposure was so brief that i didn't enter the co-dependency or trauma bond. my hyper-empathetic heart couldn't handle THAT MUCH...UUUUGGGGHHH... and i was asking for space after he flipped the script on me 4 days in a row, about 2 weeks into our...whatever. HOWEVER, I'M STILL HEALING FROM THOSE 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!! STILL.HEALING!!!!! STILL THINKING ABOUT DUDE!!! BUT, THANKFULLY, NOT wanting to hear from him or see him. PEACE!!!!
I was thinking the same thing i never realized how needy i was and i need to take a step back and have a life of my own and not be so focused on my boyfriend. I love how you put that these painful experiences are preparing me and teaching how to be a better person for my next relationship
I kept chasing that feeling I had at the beginning. That was literally the happiest I've been in years. The ride down was both expensive & devastating. Yet I found myself standing in line to ride again & again. Smh
I feel ya there.. I had a great job, a nice clean house, and was happy.. Fast forward to 5 years later, im broke, an alcoholic, and my house is a mess.. not to mention, he became physically abusive..(and I still kept goin back).. im so broken now that I had to cut him off.. idk if im gonna be able to recover from this one.. im definitely not ever gonna date again
@buckfuddy5561 Sorry to hear that. They certainly can do a number on us, but no matter how broken one may feel, there is always hope... I certainly wouldn't rush into anything, but I wouldn't be so quick to swear off dating all together. I mean as crappy as the experience was you now know what to be on the lookout for going forward. Once you learn the narcissists playbook they become fairly easy to spot. Also if there's one thing I've learned from channels like this, its that for every crappy narcissist, there are several kind & gentle souls whom have a geniune desire to help boost, & support others going through a difficult time. I know this because the comment sections are always filled with these people & is likely why we fell victim to the narcissist in the first place. Hope things get better for you. Stay strong.
wow!!! THAT was... beautiful. sorry!!!!!!! NOT minimizing your pain!!!!!!! but it was POETIC!!!!!!!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!!! especially the last sentence!!!! PEACE!!!!
no. and no thanks. i DESERVE MUCH BETTER. no time for spinning wheels. f the "first high." i've moved on. got things to do!!! got a REAL, HEALTHY MAN to attract unto me!!!... PEACE!!!!!
NO it wasn't real! I didn't realize it at the time but it was ALL smoke & mirrors! He was out to get what he could take from me! Yes, i believe he "cared" about me but his selfishness overshadowed it.
Love takes real time to develop. It forms gradually whilst getting to know a person. It doesn't just 'evaporate' in a matter of days or weeks just because someone has unintentionally said or done something that we don't like.. Narcs think they're in love but what thyre actually feeling is infatuation.
they're NOT feeling infatuation. they're feeling a NEED for attention by ANY means necessary. infatuated people CARE. they do NOT care, EVER about anything other than their NEED for attention!! PEACE!!!!
i second THAT emotion!!!!!!!!!!! and i didn't even interact with dude 1 month!!!!! yet i'm STILL not FULLY over...being exposed to him!!!!! PEACE!!!!!!!!
Today, I broke no contact with my ex because we had a written agreement that she would transfer me the funds from our past dog business once the puppies were sold. When i called, the phone went to voicemail and then it cut out to people laughing, and i heard her voice... i tried to call again and got no answer. I reached out to others because i simply wanted my funds like we agreed on, and i got no response. I sat there and cried so horrifically because i finally realized that i thought she would be a woman of her word, and in that moment, i realised she wouldn't and that she wanted to hurt me. Why? Because I left and moved somewhere that she doesn't know and she asked but I told her I wouldn't tell her. People wake up because the trans is all an illusion, and you end up losing the real ones that have been right beside yo while chasing a dream of who you wished somebody was. I won't be reaching out for my money anymore. God will keep me and I just have to let it go.
only the NEED for attention/supply was REAL. FAKE PEOPLE--PEOPLE WHO HIDE BEHIND MASKS--CAN'T BE REAL about anything other than supplying their needs! PEACE!!!!
I have spoken to two self aware narcissist that are not doing social media.. one male and one female and both said it is all fake from start to finish. Never cared no feelings towards the person they chose.
THANK YOU!!!!!!! too many comments about it being "real" and it being "infatuation" by those WHO WANT AND NEED TO BELIEVE IT WAS EITHER OR BOTH!! the Raw Motivations channel MAKES IT VERY CLEAR IN NEARLY EVERY VIDEO THAT THEY NEVER CARED!!!!! it was BECAUSE of that RAW TRUTH that i started my playlist "RAW TRUTHS for..." where in nearly every video he reminds us: THEY NEVER CARED. translation: IT WAS NEVER REAL!!! NONE OF IT!!!! HOW could it have been "real" or "infatuation" as others have written IF the person NEVER cared about anything other than supplying his need for attention!!!!????? HOW could it have been "real" when they are FAKE people hiding behind masks of seduction...to secure a supply!!!??? Anita Baker. "Fairytales" "reality steps into view" revealing that NONE of IT was REAL!!! PEACE!!!!!
No it was never real even in the beginning because the person you were dealing with in the beginning was fake you fell in love with a female/male version of yourself because they were mirroring you.
Yes, the beginning is real! My ex narc was buying me things! And spending time with me. It's only lasts for about a month. He turned that itch off like a light switch!
I survived a bad situation with an abusive narcissist. Things got scary in a short period of time. Your videos have helped me make sense of it and heal faster by realizing how he may have been thinking. Thank you for what you do.
heal even faster, heal fully, never look back literally and figuratively by watching the videos at Heal NPD and Raw Motivations and/or checking out my playlists that begin with: "RAW TRUTHS for..."; "HEAL the Narcissist..." PEACE!!!!!!!!!
What I appreciate most about Lee is how he applies the concepts to generate an emotion that can be felt. Now, I have a toolbox of “felt” emotions to compare with in my real time experiences. Powerful💯💥
At times during our 8 years together I noticed times of complete and utter disconnect. At odd moments... like out on a date in year 3... she'd become a sort of stranger. I can't quite explain it but there was zero connection. And the next day she was a loving connected wife again. These happenings were few and far between... but they happened along with much more obvious red flags that ultimately punctuated the relationship. Looking back at photos the dead-eyed stare was always there.
@@kellinewman1902 Weird, right? When I separate myself from it and analyze it for what it is... it's fascinating. Fascinating that a human being that has lived for this long can be so cold and calculating and mask it so well. They live with one foot in and one foot out and will jump at any impulse, then throw full-blown tantrums when questioned.
I don't think the love is real in the beginning because it's not real love. It's only infatuation. If anything, the infatuation is real because the narc idolises their partner because they don't know them well enough yet so naturally they will only see good things about their new partner at that point. Love is different from infatuation and it enables us to see beyond a partners flaws and still have feelings for them.Love is realistic and it recognises that no one is perfect..... and love is not conditional. A narcs idea of love is 'conditional'... If you put a foot wrong which you will do from time to time they stop loving you.
NOT infatuation. a NEED for attention/supply. infatuated people CARE. these people do NOT care, EVER, EXCEPT about satisfying their NEED ... vampires NEED to feed on blood--their supply. they are NOT infatuated with their victims. they are in NEED of their victims' blood to survive! PEACE!!!!!
My ex would kiss me then roll his eyes back humorously like he was experiencing a drug high. He called me his personal drug supply. In hindsight, I can see he was actually intoxicated by me during the love bombing phase lol.
he was "intoxicated" by the ATTENTION/supply you were giving him. nothing else. never about you. all about the attention/supply he got from you! PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So funny and entertaining, so true. Yes i think the start seemed real when he idealised love. I thought it weird even then but was flattered by the display of affection and worship. As time went by and the other phases became obvious, i knew my gut feeling was right. Yes it was heady but false and the coming and going proved this. I was a favourite supply as you say, Lee. Thank heaven im out...
Jennifer Hudson where you at is the song I apply to narcissistic relationships. False promises. Left her standing in the freezing cold waiting on a man who never showed.
I swear i felt it when the love bomb stage was over because i literally told him your acting different and your not the same person i was with for the past 6 months he kept saying nah im still me no nigga this is the real u and that person i was with for 6 months i will never get again and i didn’t it jus got worse and worse
Tjs reality hurts so bad . I feel like I'm losing my mind . It hurts so bad . Why do this to me I don't want to even liven any more I hate this hurt 😭😭😭
It does get better, I promise! I felt like you many times, it’s been 10 months since we’ve separated and it was so hard at first. The more you learn about narcissistic abuse, the more clarity you’ll get. Please focus on your mental health and take care of yourself.
@@shapeeps thank you . All I do is cry . I can't focus . I can't get things done . My head is cloudy and I just cry . I hate my life and this space that I'm in right now . I'm always said and just lost . And of course he's off happy and went back to a recycled supply living happily ever after . And I'm here just lost sad 😢
I'm telling you, from a place of years out, as someone who *begged* for them back. Three times in a span of several years. It does get better. This is your lowest. You will gain great strength and immunity to this bullshit. It sucks so, so bad. I know. But the *only* way out is through and YOU WILL GET THERE. I don't know you, but I love you, I am with you, and you will look at this clown one day and feel only pity for them.
When you said never be the same again my mind went to the chorus of Ghostface ft Carl Thomas- Never be the same again (older folks know). It's crazy how the covert narc told me about your channel and you describe her all the way in every video. We started off high and fast then out the blue said she loved me. I was confused but went along with it. Year 1 love bombing was heavy and she showed signs of NPD but blamed it on her narc parents, a story we both shared; and thought some wisdom and counseling would help. Only difference is she suffered a major tragedy when she was young and dated evil men "because of it". This year alone I've been discarded twice for explaining how she has narc traits and should go back to therapy for everybody's sake including the kids. Said I "broke her" and she needed time alone. (Narc self preservation after exposure). 1st discard days later she love bombed pretending she didn't put me on timeout and said I was right she might seek help but never "found time". A few weeks later I brought up the topic of the 1st discard, she did the same thing then resorted to texting while she stonewalled. I called her out and sent her videos. She admitted she never watched a full narc video unless I was there, after telling (lying) that she watched before. The only thing she retained from your videos is that you're a self aware narc, she thinks it's funny. Even started sending Bible verses while love bombing. Thanks to my re-education on narcissists I slowly slipped into no contact. God works in mysterious ways.
I’ve been married to one for 12 years and use to drink alot so I didn’t notice it until I quit drinking. I was noticing everything. I thought we were close until my son told me he was talking bad about me behind my back and just now found out. He’s been doing it since my son was young so it mentally destroyed him. I never saw that coming and never thought he was that type of person. We got a second chance at marriage and he’s ruined it. Been getting accused of cheating for a year now . Something was telling me to look in the phone records and I saw a weird number and called it he was calling a hotel and was on for 3 min let lone this was a month later. I asked him about why he called and he says well I thought you were cheating and your gps was stuck on it, I had no idea where this hotel was even at. There is so much more but too long to type.
These metaphors are spot on, the favorite flavor of ice cream put in the freezer, the narc seemingly waking from their own lovebombing trance.. during the walk down the mountain top. Humor and truth, Lee thank you Keep the truth coming!
My soon to be ex husband is in regret right now with his discard... and it's crazy because he knew I was a wonderful help mate... I pay my way, hold my own....I wanted to build a foundation and future for ourselves and our son, when he knew I was about life goals with or without him he gave me a hard discard... now he's living the life he used me for to avoid, living with his overbearing crazy mother whom he admitted resentment for... in his vulnerable moment when my family wanted me to take our son and leave... nicknaming him self sabotage...at 45 years old he lives with his mother... 😅...
These are helping me stick with my divorce until the end....counting the days for the gaslighting, false promises and/or silent txt to prove I don't matter anymore can be a BLOCK 4 good!
He wanted me until he caught me,bit the whole time he had other women too. I did not know this for 2 years. During pandemic world shut down. He is evil
In the beginning and you know is real but at the end of the day when after 3 months he started acting funny you know he was saying his ex-girlfriend again after he talked bad about her and then he had other tricks on the side too and after that it was fake
Your analogies are always fantastically spot-on & I love ‘em!! Putting the moose tracks back in the freezer for later… 😳 OMG 💯 🎯🎯🎯 Yup. We’re just objects 💔
I was literally thinking after he revealed he had somebody the whole time and was trying to get me to break up with him like dam so none of this was real i had a relationship with myself for a year
In my experience, when I first met him, that is when he was most fake. He would lie to me to try to impress me, he would be interested in all the same things as me and seemed to be the missing person from my life. When he secured me and the mask dropped that's when his true self came out, that's when it became real.
My narcissistic father seems to actually care; however himself and the supply he needs are the unconditional priority. Then, caring for me is dolled out IF the supply is satisfactory. Hence why, 2 years of no contact and I plan to go no contact for the rest of my life.
My ex said to me "What does it matter if I loved or not as long as I made you feel like I loved you? You didn't know the difference anyways." That is one of the most sickest and demented things I've ever heard anybody say in my life. Just when I thought he couldn't fuck my head up any worse than he already has... Now I have to wonder did he even care about me at all. What a waste of time and energy.
It was all fake with my narc what I don't get is in my case why did she get my name on her twice my initial on her ring finger an our marriage date on her leg to up an keep being crazy nasty lien still cheat an abusive an just to leave ? I don't get nun of that like that's permanent ink an travel 2000 miles to come to a marriage that's brand new an leave an be gone for almost the entire year
The ink is to keep you quite for awhile but mostly to keep the image of Hey I did love this person I'm not the problem. My ex got my name willingly. I never pushed for it. Found out when he got it, he had already started his affair. It's all part of the show.
Literally to keep you hooked and believing they love you. We got matching tattoos. When we broke up and I told him I was going to cover it, he told me not to. They wanna control us so bad.
It’s only real while sights are locked on target, once they really get you for awhile and realize you’re not God come down from the heavens but a real person flaws and all, they shift their sights to new targets searching for the same perfection that doesn’t exist. Messed up but definitely lived thru it that I can see how that makes insane sense in their mind.
If people mistreat you (beat you up, belittle you, control you...) you know that the sentence I love you can´t be true. If people love you they want the best for you (yeah you can say mean words out of frustration and so on) but you can´t do shitty things behind the back of your loved-one. Action and words never match with a narcissist. They use you and don´t love you.
I agree that many of them do care at the beginning. In my case, it was because the narcissist wanted something from me; they might have been projecting their ideal on me. But once that early phase is over, then the narcissist had to deal with a real humans and real life. Mine liked me because I was attractive, smart, going to university. When they needed a status boost in front of others, I could provide that in many settings. But there were problems when I wouldn’t let rhem sabotage my schooling (something they admitted years later). The idea of a college-educated partner? Great! The reality of it? Inconvenient to their needs.
It's all fake because they already know the ending and you don't. You are playing a role in their life that is replayed over and over again with different people playing your role and it always ends the same and you are replaced with new actor. The whole thing is fake but you are unaware.
I’d say the first part is the most fake part as love bombing is fake and the person you see at the beginning is the projection. The realest part is the end as the mask slips and you see the real person and how they are with you at the end is the real person
he was "my knight in shining armor".. he got me thru my awful divorce.. he was so fun and loving at the beginning .. 23 years and a 5 year marriage later i realize how much he screwed up my family/children... i suck.. i invited this man to be part of my life and he destroyed everything ... i just finished another panic attack.. i left 6 months ago.. he's still abusing my adult daughter.. she wont hear me on who he really is.. hes screwed up everything and i INVITED HIM to be part of our lives.. I SUCK...
I left my narc last July and went no contact. He is blocked every where but yet his emails still get through. I read one and it was all about the money that he says I owe him. I was 100% financially dependent on him. He said that I owe him a lot more than I actually do. How do I pay him back the $3k and still stay no contact? I don't have enough money to pay it all at once. If I knew what narcissism was, I would have ran sooner. Please any advice you have would be great. Thank you for the great videos. You really helped me out of a really bad place from all of this.
No there was nothing in writing but there was a verbal agreement and I have to pay him back for my own peace of mind because I respect myself and that is my word. How do I stay no contact and yet pay him back to get him off my case? My lawyer said to wait and see what he does that it could just be baiting me.@@MentalHealness
This makes sense, and might it also depend on the relationship type/interaction? Like, a narcissist who develops a “friendly” relationship with a professional of some kind just to get discounts from them vs an intimate relationship where there might be impetus to want closeness in the first place.
Also, perhaps there’s a genuine attraction/desire for someone, just not to the extent that they’re real and require reciprocity? The way a house might be beautiful, but the minute something comes up regarding maintenance or repair or even something requiring renovation, the house is neglected or abandoned altogether.
You compare it to having your favorite ice cream available and not craving it bc you just had it. Does that mean someone who is elusive and plays hot/cold w/ the narcissist is more appealing? If so, I can’t imagine being on the other side of that- seems like a tiring way to live.
Any relationship that starts on a high eventually goes down hill... so the realness of a narcissist feelings probably go down with it... so he's right don't use it as an excuse to take back an abuser
I actually just want to know if someone I knew was a part of a smear campaign against me the whole time. Someone who was not a boyfriend. I want to know if he was recruited to spy on me from the start.
It’s not making sense bc they don’t know the person they are creating what they like about someone up, so they can possibly care about someone they are just meeting. Maybe like them but nah not care bc if they cared they wouldn’t early on start with the weird comments or actions
To me, none of it is real. How can the beginning be real when it changes so quickly? It was never real, that's why. What is real? Who they are at the end. That is real and once you see it, hear it, witness it, you will never think of the beginning as real. It can't be. It's just a whole lot of lust that turns for them to rage.
I was in a long distance relationship for 5 yrs haven't dated him. He always future faked me.last day he told me he loves me and only me then next day he put his wedding photo in the FB.last year he treated me like a shit. Even when I video calls him he was normal and nothing going on.but I bet he has been married since then. I clearly explained him I need a serious relationship and want to marry him he agreed to all yet lied to me.He love bombed me like crazy even though via video calls. Im so attached to him and I was loyal to him mentally and physically while this 5 years.But he just kept me as a option until he finds someone to marry. Threw me like a trash. I feel so numb and lost my self esteem. I never gave any other man a chance who try to approach me because in my eyes he was the one although he treated me badly.
Lee you are always cracking jokes which sometimes is great, but it's also very painful and it feels like you take things very lightly and love the attention you get on here.. go figure you are a narcissist you say..! But, for us... it hurts like hell.. try to be more sensitive.
The ABUSE takes away all the good - nothing positive with a F’in narcissist!!!!!
Abuse isn´t love!
That light starts flickering because that castle on top of the mountain peak is turning into a haunted house. Time to run. 🏃♀️
Survivors understand
Oh my
Yes lmao 👻💀👹👻💀👹
I actually lived in an old manor in the woods with this guy. So very literal. Everything was idyllic until it turned into a horror story lmao. I still have nightmares about running through those woods trying to escape some creature.
LOL!!!!!! EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!
It does feel real at the beginning, but it's also too good to be true. It ends up being unbelievable with the discard. We think they cared, and it felt like they never did because how can someone treat you that cruelly.
🫣🫣
i LIKE AND PREFER Raw Motivations' reminders that THE NARCISSIST NEVER CARED FOR YOU!!!!! i started an entire playlist because of THAT reminder!!!!
THAT belief or fact that they NEVER cared WORKS BEST FOR ME in my healing, very painful though it is to hear and even though i was only exposed to dude for about 2 weeks! STILL i hate to think that he never cared ... AND WILL NEVER CARE!!!!!! BUT i NEED to hear and be reminded of that, for me, FACT!!!
PEACE!!!!
They never did. That is the truth! (They used you - as bitter as it is you have to accept that).
yes user.. email who wrote this above.. i agree with you. I am strugglijng with this big time now..... he is so cruel.
This is an interesting perspective. I can see that the beginning is the realest part of the relationship for the narcissistic person. But it wasn’t real for the other person since the person they present in the beginning is not the real person. For the narcissistic person, it is part of the “high” they’re feeling because they feel so good and think we are going to solve all of their problems. But they were already broken before us. It’s a bizarre thing because that means the narcissist will continue to repeat these cycles until they either pass away or run out of supply.
Well said!! Like trying to fill a bucket with water which has a hole in it … it will never be enough ❤
UUUMMMMM-HUH!!!!!! HORRIBLE WAY TO EXIST!!!!
PEACE!!!!!!
I don't think it really matters if any of it was real because it's so toxic it's dead and stinking and will never be revisited again. It's great to learn about how narcissists think and behave and it's even better to understand myself and the codependency I didn't realize I had. Understanding myself brings about positive changes so I never experience this toxicity again. I thank GOD for the lessons learned from the painful experience. I'm healing everyday and I hope they heal too. Narcissism and codependency are the left and right wings of the same unhealthy unhealed bird.
Beautiful and on point comment! I can relate.
BEAUTIFUL comment!!! totally agree!!! i actually started a series about the lessons i learned from dude called: My Gifts [lessons learned!] from a Narcissist. the only difference between us is, and i'm even MORE THANKFUL TO GOD, my exposure was so brief that i didn't enter the co-dependency or trauma bond. my hyper-empathetic heart couldn't handle THAT MUCH...UUUUGGGGHHH... and i was asking for space after he flipped the script on me 4 days in a row, about 2 weeks into our...whatever. HOWEVER, I'M STILL HEALING FROM THOSE 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!! STILL.HEALING!!!!! STILL THINKING ABOUT DUDE!!! BUT, THANKFULLY, NOT wanting to hear from him or see him.
PEACE!!!!
I was thinking the same thing i never realized how needy i was and i need to take a step back and have a life of my own and not be so focused on my boyfriend. I love how you put that these painful experiences are preparing me and teaching how to be a better person for my next relationship
The only thing that was real was the abuse. Believe the bad; the good is just an act.
You are spot on !
Yes, they enjoy hurting you
I kept chasing that feeling I had at the beginning. That was literally the happiest I've been in years. The ride down was both expensive & devastating. Yet I found myself standing in line to ride again & again. Smh
I feel ya there.. I had a great job, a nice clean house, and was happy..
Fast forward to 5 years later, im broke, an alcoholic, and my house is a mess.. not to mention, he became physically abusive..(and I still kept goin back)..
im so broken now that I had to cut him off.. idk if im gonna be able to recover from this one.. im definitely not ever gonna date again
@buckfuddy5561 Sorry to hear that. They certainly can do a number on us, but no matter how broken one may feel, there is always hope... I certainly wouldn't rush into anything, but I wouldn't be so quick to swear off dating all together.
I mean as crappy as the experience was you now know what to be on the lookout for going forward. Once you learn the narcissists playbook they become fairly easy to spot.
Also if there's one thing I've learned from channels like this, its that for every crappy narcissist, there are several kind & gentle souls whom have a geniune desire to help boost, & support others going through a difficult time.
I know this because the comment sections are always filled with these people & is likely why we fell victim to the narcissist in the first place.
Hope things get better for you. Stay strong.
wow!!! THAT was... beautiful. sorry!!!!!!! NOT minimizing your pain!!!!!!! but it was POETIC!!!!!!!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!!! especially the last sentence!!!!
PEACE!!!!
Being with a narc is like chasing the dragon. Spinning your wheels trying to get back to that first high 🏔️ ☁️ ☀️
Laid Back “White Horse.”
😟😟😫
no. and no thanks. i DESERVE MUCH BETTER. no time for spinning wheels. f the "first high." i've moved on. got things to do!!! got a REAL, HEALTHY MAN to attract unto me!!!...
PEACE!!!!!
NO it wasn't real! I didn't realize it at the time but it was ALL smoke & mirrors! He was out to get what he could take from me! Yes, i believe he "cared" about me but his selfishness overshadowed it.
UUUUUUMMMMM-HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NONE OF IT WAS REAL!!!!! NONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he isn't even real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PEACE!!!!!
Seriously....waking up out of a trance is an excellent analogy to explain what happens to the narc in the relationship Lee!🔥🔥🔥
‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥
Love takes real time to develop. It forms gradually whilst getting to know a person. It doesn't just 'evaporate' in a matter of days or weeks just because someone has unintentionally said or done something that we don't like.. Narcs think they're in love but what thyre actually feeling is infatuation.
they're NOT feeling infatuation. they're feeling a NEED for attention by ANY means necessary.
infatuated people CARE. they do NOT care, EVER about anything other than their NEED for attention!!
PEACE!!!!
Narcissists search people to use - that has nothing to do with love or infatuation... Love-bombing is a magic spell on people (in my book)...
I questioned everything after he abandoned me. Nothing felt real after that. I question my entire marriage. I'm glad he's gone.
and let him STAY GONE!!!! on EVERY level!!! in EVERY way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amen!
PEACE!!!!!
Oh wow...I was just reflecting on the spell I was under. The blindfold spell I finally broke out of after the toxic withdraws started to fade away.
Thank you Lee
For me the nightmare was real!
1 year No Contact today and I never want to see his face or hear his voice ever again 🙏🏼
i second THAT emotion!!!!!!!!!!! and i didn't even interact with dude 1 month!!!!! yet i'm STILL not FULLY over...being exposed to him!!!!!
PEACE!!!!!!!!
Today, I broke no contact with my ex because we had a written agreement that she would transfer me the funds from our past dog business once the puppies were sold. When i called, the phone went to voicemail and then it cut out to people laughing, and i heard her voice... i tried to call again and got no answer. I reached out to others because i simply wanted my funds like we agreed on, and i got no response. I sat there and cried so horrifically because i finally realized that i thought she would be a woman of her word, and in that moment, i realised she wouldn't and that she wanted to hurt me. Why? Because I left and moved somewhere that she doesn't know and she asked but I told her I wouldn't tell her.
People wake up because the trans is all an illusion, and you end up losing the real ones that have been right beside yo while chasing a dream of who you wished somebody was.
I won't be reaching out for my money anymore. God will keep me and I just have to let it go.
So sorry that happened to you.
@@heatherthompson769 thank you.
Some of it was real, but was enough of it real?
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only the NEED for attention/supply was REAL.
FAKE PEOPLE--PEOPLE WHO HIDE BEHIND MASKS--CAN'T BE REAL about anything other than supplying their needs!
PEACE!!!!
I have spoken to two self aware narcissist that are not doing social media.. one male and one female and both said it is all fake from start to finish. Never cared no feelings towards the person they chose.
THANK YOU!!!!!!! too many comments about it being "real" and it being "infatuation" by those WHO WANT AND NEED TO BELIEVE IT WAS EITHER OR BOTH!! the Raw Motivations channel MAKES IT VERY CLEAR IN NEARLY EVERY VIDEO THAT THEY NEVER CARED!!!!! it was BECAUSE of that RAW TRUTH that i started my playlist "RAW TRUTHS for..." where in nearly every video he reminds us: THEY NEVER CARED. translation: IT WAS NEVER REAL!!! NONE OF IT!!!! HOW could it have been "real" or "infatuation" as others have written IF the person NEVER cared about anything other than supplying his need for attention!!!!????? HOW could it have been "real" when they are FAKE people hiding behind masks of seduction...to secure a supply!!!???
Anita Baker. "Fairytales" "reality steps into view" revealing that NONE of IT was REAL!!!
PEACE!!!!!
No it was never real even in the beginning because the person you were dealing with in the beginning was fake you fell in love with a female/male version of yourself because they were mirroring you.
“You can create new peaks with yourself. You don’t need other people to even peak!” 💯💯🙌🏾👏🏿🙏🏽
I was soo ready to disagree with you because I thought you were going to say it’s not real but you’re 💯 spot on!
Yes, the beginning is real! My ex narc was buying me things! And spending time with me. It's only lasts for about a month. He turned that itch off like a light switch!
IT IS NEVER REAL!!!
ALL ILLUSION!
FAKE PEOPLE CANNOT BE REAL!!!!
PEACE!!!!!
"Clap cheeks at the top of the mountain...Let's get it!"🤣😂
😂 🏔️
Helllllll yeah, those were def good times. Just sayin'.
I survived a bad situation with an abusive narcissist. Things got scary in a short period of time. Your videos have helped me make sense of it and heal faster by realizing how he may have been thinking. Thank you for what you do.
heal even faster, heal fully, never look back literally and figuratively by watching the videos at Heal NPD and Raw Motivations and/or checking out my playlists that begin with: "RAW TRUTHS for..."; "HEAL the Narcissist..."
PEACE!!!!!!!!!
I'm still struggling and ashamed of course embarrassed I was married to a man child
😮💨🥴
@Tamara-xf6hx Give yourself grace ! You weren’t aware of Narcissism but now you have the knowledge and knowledge is power ❤
@@kaoshi_kutie Thank you I really needed this
What I appreciate most about Lee is how he applies the concepts to generate an emotion that can be felt. Now, I have a toolbox of “felt” emotions to compare with in my real time experiences. Powerful💯💥
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At times during our 8 years together I noticed times of complete and utter disconnect. At odd moments... like out on a date in year 3... she'd become a sort of stranger. I can't quite explain it but there was zero connection. And the next day she was a loving connected wife again. These happenings were few and far between... but they happened along with much more obvious red flags that ultimately punctuated the relationship. Looking back at photos the dead-eyed stare was always there.
Yes word for word what you said. All those photos you wanted pics of and they looked so miserable 😣
@@kellinewman1902 Weird, right? When I separate myself from it and analyze it for what it is... it's fascinating. Fascinating that a human being that has lived for this long can be so cold and calculating and mask it so well. They live with one foot in and one foot out and will jump at any impulse, then throw full-blown tantrums when questioned.
I don't think the love is real in the beginning because it's not real love.
It's only infatuation. If anything, the infatuation is real because the narc idolises their partner because they don't know them well enough yet so naturally they will only see good things about their new partner at that point. Love is different from infatuation and it enables us to see beyond a partners flaws and still have feelings for them.Love is realistic and it recognises that no one is perfect..... and love is not conditional. A narcs idea of love is 'conditional'... If you put a foot wrong which you will do from time to time they stop loving you.
NOT infatuation.
a NEED for attention/supply.
infatuated people CARE.
these people do NOT care, EVER, EXCEPT about satisfying their NEED ...
vampires NEED to feed on blood--their supply.
they are NOT infatuated with their victims.
they are in NEED of their victims' blood to survive!
PEACE!!!!!
Yes, I do believe some of it was real. Not enough to matter though, unfortunately. 😢
ditto my other comments on this page about NONE of it being real. PEACE!!!
“There’s nowhere left to go but down” well damn that’s one way of putting it. Point THOROUGHLY made. 😭
My ex would kiss me then roll his eyes back humorously like he was experiencing a drug high. He called me his personal drug supply. In hindsight, I can see he was actually intoxicated by me during the love bombing phase lol.
Lol😅😅😅
he was "intoxicated" by the ATTENTION/supply you were giving him. nothing else. never about you. all about the attention/supply he got from you!
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So funny and entertaining, so true. Yes i think the start seemed real when he idealised love. I thought it weird even then but was flattered by the display of affection and worship. As time went by and the other phases became obvious, i knew my gut feeling was right.
Yes it was heady but false and the coming and going proved this. I was a favourite supply as you say, Lee. Thank heaven im out...
Great analogy with the mountains. I’m learning so much from you! ❤
Dayuuuumn you really had to say we were watching from the gutter haha, good video Lee. Appreciate it!
Jennifer Hudson where you at is the song I apply to narcissistic relationships. False promises. Left her standing in the freezing cold waiting on a man who never showed.
💯💯💯💣Lee you're hilarious facts your spot on too.
I swear i felt it when the love bomb stage was over because i literally told him your acting different and your not the same person i was with for the past 6 months he kept saying nah im still me no nigga this is the real u and that person i was with for 6 months i will never get again and i didn’t it jus got worse and worse
Tjs reality hurts so bad . I feel like I'm losing my mind . It hurts so bad . Why do this to me I don't want to even liven any more I hate this hurt 😭😭😭
It does get better, I promise! I felt like you many times, it’s been 10 months since we’ve separated and it was so hard at first. The more you learn about narcissistic abuse, the more clarity you’ll get. Please focus on your mental health and take care of yourself.
@@shapeeps thank you . All I do is cry . I can't focus . I can't get things done . My head is cloudy and I just cry . I hate my life and this space that I'm in right now . I'm always said and just lost . And of course he's off happy and went back to a recycled supply living happily ever after . And I'm here just lost sad 😢
I'm telling you, from a place of years out, as someone who *begged* for them back. Three times in a span of several years. It does get better. This is your lowest. You will gain great strength and immunity to this bullshit. It sucks so, so bad. I know. But the *only* way out is through and YOU WILL GET THERE. I don't know you, but I love you, I am with you, and you will look at this clown one day and feel only pity for them.
When you said never be the same again my mind went to the chorus of Ghostface ft Carl Thomas- Never be the same again (older folks know). It's crazy how the covert narc told me about your channel and you describe her all the way in every video. We started off high and fast then out the blue said she loved me. I was confused but went along with it. Year 1 love bombing was heavy and she showed signs of NPD but blamed it on her narc parents, a story we both shared; and thought some wisdom and counseling would help. Only difference is she suffered a major tragedy when she was young and dated evil men "because of it". This year alone I've been discarded twice for explaining how she has narc traits and should go back to therapy for everybody's sake including the kids. Said I "broke her" and she needed time alone. (Narc self preservation after exposure). 1st discard days later she love bombed pretending she didn't put me on timeout and said I was right she might seek help but never "found time". A few weeks later I brought up the topic of the 1st discard, she did the same thing then resorted to texting while she stonewalled. I called her out and sent her videos. She admitted she never watched a full narc video unless I was there, after telling (lying) that she watched before. The only thing she retained from your videos is that you're a self aware narc, she thinks it's funny. Even started sending Bible verses while love bombing. Thanks to my re-education on narcissists I slowly slipped into no contact. God works in mysterious ways.
I’ve been married to one for 12 years and use to drink alot so I didn’t notice it until I quit drinking. I was noticing everything. I thought we were close until my son told me he was talking bad about me behind my back and just now found out. He’s been doing it since my son was young so it mentally destroyed him. I never saw that coming and never thought he was that type of person. We got a second chance at marriage and he’s ruined it. Been getting accused of cheating for a year now . Something was telling me to look in the phone records and I saw a weird number and called it he was calling a hotel and was on for 3 min let lone this was a month later. I asked him about why he called and he says well I thought you were cheating and your gps was stuck on it, I had no idea where this hotel was even at. There is so much more but too long to type.
Thanks Lee 👋 this gave me great insight about both of us.
These metaphors are spot on, the favorite flavor of ice cream put in the freezer, the narc seemingly waking from their own lovebombing trance.. during the walk down the mountain top. Humor and truth, Lee thank you Keep the truth coming!
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I've watched so many videos about dating narcissist. Yours are the best ones I relate to.
My soon to be ex husband is in regret right now with his discard... and it's crazy because he knew I was a wonderful help mate... I pay my way, hold my own....I wanted to build a foundation and future for ourselves and our son, when he knew I was about life goals with or without him he gave me a hard discard... now he's living the life he used me for to avoid, living with his overbearing crazy mother whom he admitted resentment for... in his vulnerable moment when my family wanted me to take our son and leave... nicknaming him self sabotage...at 45 years old he lives with his mother... 😅...
It is sad for both of them.
I didn't even realize when lovebomb ended and started to go down the mountain
These are helping me stick with my divorce until the end....counting the days for the gaslighting, false promises and/or silent txt to prove I don't matter anymore can be a BLOCK 4 good!
He wanted me until he caught me,bit the whole time he had other women too. I did not know this for 2 years. During pandemic world shut down. He is evil
I completely get it, thank you!
PREACH the facts!!!
In the beginning and you know is real but at the end of the day when after 3 months he started acting funny you know he was saying his ex-girlfriend again after he talked bad about her and then he had other tricks on the side too and after that it was fake
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Your analogies are always fantastically spot-on & I love ‘em!! Putting the moose tracks back in the freezer for later… 😳 OMG 💯 🎯🎯🎯
Yup. We’re just objects 💔
I was literally thinking after he revealed he had somebody the whole time and was trying to get me to break up with him like dam so none of this was real i had a relationship with myself for a year
In my experience, when I first met him, that is when he was most fake. He would lie to me to try to impress me, he would be interested in all the same things as me and seemed to be the missing person from my life. When he secured me and the mask dropped that's when his true self came out, that's when it became real.
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My narcissistic father seems to actually care; however himself and the supply he needs are the unconditional priority. Then, caring for me is dolled out IF the supply is satisfactory. Hence why, 2 years of no contact and I plan to go no contact for the rest of my life.
My ex said to me "What does it matter if I loved or not as long as I made you feel like I loved you? You didn't know the difference anyways." That is one of the most sickest and demented things I've ever heard anybody say in my life. Just when I thought he couldn't fuck my head up any worse than he already has... Now I have to wonder did he even care about me at all. What a waste of time and energy.
"My mind went to the gutter too didn't it?"😆😅
😂
It was all fake with my narc what I don't get is in my case why did she get my name on her twice my initial on her ring finger an our marriage date on her leg to up an keep being crazy nasty lien still cheat an abusive an just to leave ? I don't get nun of that like that's permanent ink an travel 2000 miles to come to a marriage that's brand new an leave an be gone for almost the entire year
The ink is to keep you quite for awhile but mostly to keep the image of Hey I did love this person I'm not the problem. My ex got my name willingly. I never pushed for it. Found out when he got it, he had already started his affair. It's all part of the show.
Literally to keep you hooked and believing they love you. We got matching tattoos. When we broke up and I told him I was going to cover it, he told me not to. They wanna control us so bad.
It’s only real while sights are locked on target, once they really get you for awhile and realize you’re not God come down from the heavens but a real person flaws and all, they shift their sights to new targets searching for the same perfection that doesn’t exist. Messed up but definitely lived thru it that I can see how that makes insane sense in their mind.
That’s where I’m stuck at….. was it real????
Was how he treated me at the discard real?
If people mistreat you (beat you up, belittle you, control you...) you know that the sentence I love you can´t be true. If people love you they want the best for you (yeah you can say mean words out of frustration and so on) but you can´t do shitty things behind the back of your loved-one. Action and words never match with a narcissist. They use you and don´t love you.
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Ya, they put you in the freezers 😢. When I caught it, told him, I'm not part of your ex' circle, stop coming back
I agree that many of them do care at the beginning. In my case, it was because the narcissist wanted something from me; they might have been projecting their ideal on me. But once that early phase is over, then the narcissist had to deal with a real humans and real life.
Mine liked me because I was attractive, smart, going to university. When they needed a status boost in front of others, I could provide that in many settings. But there were problems when I wouldn’t let rhem sabotage my schooling (something they admitted years later). The idea of a college-educated partner? Great! The reality of it? Inconvenient to their needs.
It's all fake because they already know the ending and you don't. You are playing a role in their life that is replayed over and over again with different people playing your role and it always ends the same and you are replaced with new actor. The whole thing is fake but you are unaware.
Just a sick perverted dance
Great analogy with the ice cream! Perfect for describing mine🙏🏾😂😂
You made me laugh 😂❤I love you Mr Lee,haha,I was in extreme depression
🙏🏽😂
I’d say the first part is the most fake part as love bombing is fake and the person you see at the beginning is the projection. The realest part is the end as the mask slips and you see the real person and how they are with you at the end is the real person
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Yes,,, Period thay no no what they Do 😮😢
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The beginning where they try to learn everything about you to use against you later. Oh and don't forget about the love bombing and future faking....
he was "my knight in shining armor".. he got me thru my awful divorce.. he was so fun and loving at the beginning .. 23 years and a 5 year marriage later i realize how much he screwed up my family/children... i suck.. i invited this man to be part of my life and he destroyed everything ... i just finished another panic attack.. i left 6 months ago.. he's still abusing my adult daughter.. she wont hear me on who he really is.. hes screwed up everything and i INVITED HIM to be part of our lives.. I SUCK...
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I left my narc last July and went no contact. He is blocked every where but yet his emails still get through. I read one and it was all about the money that he says I owe him. I was 100% financially dependent on him. He said that I owe him a lot more than I actually do. How do I pay him back the $3k and still stay no contact? I don't have enough money to pay it all at once. If I knew what narcissism was, I would have ran sooner. Please any advice you have would be great.
Thank you for the great videos. You really helped me out of a really bad place from all of this.
Feel like you may want to talk to an attorney. Is there any proof that you owe that to him?
No there was nothing in writing but there was a verbal agreement and I have to pay him back for my own peace of mind because I respect myself and that is my word. How do I stay no contact and yet pay him back to get him off my case? My lawyer said to wait and see what he does that it could just be baiting me.@@MentalHealness
It is part of a range. It’s the highest peak in Nepal
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This makes sense, and might it also depend on the relationship type/interaction? Like, a narcissist who develops a “friendly” relationship with a professional of some kind just to get discounts from them vs an intimate relationship where there might be impetus to want closeness in the first place.
Also, perhaps there’s a genuine attraction/desire for someone, just not to the extent that they’re real and require reciprocity? The way a house might be beautiful, but the minute something comes up regarding maintenance or repair or even something requiring renovation, the house is neglected or abandoned altogether.
Not problem it’s the wife’s problem let her deal with that he better stay with her for next 20 years
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@@MentalHealness yea he told his wife all about me
They just want to know that not all of it was a lie
You compare it to having your favorite ice cream available and not craving it bc you just had it. Does that mean someone who is elusive and plays hot/cold w/ the narcissist is more appealing? If so, I can’t imagine being on the other side of that- seems like a tiring way to live.
9:37, 9:56- 10:04 Omg 😭😭
It's TURE😮😢
@Mental Healness 🛑
Pls. snap your fingers again. “I want to be put back in The Matrix.”
The money spent was real 💵 lol
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Any relationship that starts on a high eventually goes down hill... so the realness of a narcissist feelings probably go down with it... so he's right don't use it as an excuse to take back an abuser
Can’t never be real because they sold they souls 🙌🙌🙏🙌🙌
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I actually just want to know if someone I knew was a part of a smear campaign against me the whole time. Someone who was not a boyfriend. I want to know if he was recruited to spy on me from the start.
I would NEVER go back 2 the ex narc ESPECIALLY BCUZ HE IS A NARC
Hey Lee, I see you on TV now
Ben & Jerry’s analogy 👌 perfecto! You in the fridge!!!!
It’s not making sense bc they don’t know the person they are creating what they like about someone up, so they can possibly care about someone they are just meeting. Maybe like them but nah not care bc if they cared they wouldn’t early on start with the weird comments or actions
Yes!
when will this craving end?!?!
In the beginning
To me, none of it is real. How can the beginning be real when it changes so quickly? It was never real, that's why. What is real? Who they are at the end. That is real and once you see it, hear it, witness it, you will never think of the beginning as real. It can't be. It's just a whole lot of lust that turns for them to rage.
So messed up
Found he love bombs new supply with exactly what he did to me.. verbatim! It was never real ever
I was in a long distance relationship for 5 yrs haven't dated him. He always future faked me.last day he told me he loves me and only me then next day he put his wedding photo in the FB.last year he treated me like a shit. Even when I video calls him he was normal and nothing going on.but I bet he has been married since then. I clearly explained him I need a serious relationship and want to marry him he agreed to all yet lied to me.He love bombed me like crazy even though via video calls. Im so attached to him and I was loyal to him mentally and physically while this 5 years.But he just kept me as a option until he finds someone to marry. Threw me like a trash. I feel so numb and lost my self esteem. I never gave any other man a chance who try to approach me because in my eyes he was the one although he treated me badly.
Sorry 😞 about that my dear you dodge a bullet! I know it hurts but God and time you're going to be fine these folks are demons it's his loss. 🙏😍
@@islandgirl4656 thankyou ❤️
🤣 thank you
you’re welcome
U are Sooooooooo Ture Wake 5he u0,,,,,,,,
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Fake fake fake
Lee you are always cracking jokes which sometimes is great, but it's also very painful and it feels like you take things very lightly and love the attention you get on here.. go figure you are a narcissist you say..! But, for us... it hurts like hell.. try to be more sensitive.
Agree 2 Disagree 😮😢 Stop Craving 🎉just saying
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