If you liked this video, be sure to check out my related videos: 1) How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You - What Girls Really Want 2) How To Make A Guy Fall In Love With You - What Guys Really Want 3) How To Be A Man - The Deep Core Of Being Masculine 4) How To Be More Confident - A Step-by-Step Process for Becoming Truly Confident 5) Healthy Relationships - What You MUST Know To Sustain A Great Relationship 6) How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert
I love being alone. I think it's a weakness being needy & obsessed with finding someone. The power is within you, not in a new boyfriend or girlfriend.
Been alone for 15 years off four month and back alone for ten, and I love it it let's me reflect on my self, it does get lonely , but I still rather be alone than with someone that's not my match
theres also the other end of the pendulum, im alone most of the time. but im sometimes lonely and too focused on the hard work and grind. No authentic and deep relationships, just shallow ones...
Coming from my experience, Leo is telling the truth! It works. Relationship is like a bird in your hand, if you hold it tight, it will die from suffocation, if you hold it lose, it will fly away, just hold it with the right amount of pressure.
Yes! My husband needed my attention all the time. I told him, I cannot make you happy 24/7....you need to be happy with yourself. He ended up leaving for another needy woman. I am enjoying being by myself!
Remember that in order to love yourself, you must first accept and respect yourself. Some weak points you have are permanent and can't be changed. You have to understand that your weaknesses AND strengths define who you are. It's the combination of both that make you special.
Almost everybody needs to see this video!! You're not meant to go into a relationship because you're sad and need someone to make you feel loved, you need to be happy and simply want someone to share your happiness with.
very true, it is extremely valuable advice & information. especially when you've kinda lost yourself in a relationship and not knowing why or what happened
Almost 5 years ago I have watched this video and it set me up on a personal development path which I am still walking today. Now after almost 5 years of development work I can hardly grasp the magnitude of all good things personal development work gave me. My life is now so much better. Thank you, Leo. This one video has set me free..
Lyrical Terrorist lyrical i wouldn’t know. I stopped Caring a long time ago. You don’t have a pic. So..doesn’t matter. Rather I live or die I just don’t care
Man this is totally awesome.....you sir are truly inspiring.....you've got no idea how desolate I felt before I watched this....I've realised that you are right !....I dnt really need anyone to complete myself...I already am complete...I got my music, my car, friends..AND a purpose in life....thanks a ton bro..!
Actualized.org Absolutely......I mean Ive been such a dumbass thinking why me ?....why do I have to be the one getting dumped even when I was so damn honest to people ?....why did she do that ?.....why did I have to suffer ?......I realised that I was just too attached and prioritised relationships too much.....I really should not have!.....there are so many other stuff to do in the world! Getting too attached was my greatest mistake........dont you think so ?
Thank you! I needed this! My wife of 14 years with two young boys is going through limerence. She’s divorcing me to be with another person. I’ve been so depressed and suicidal because of her. Thanks for making me realize my own happiness.
I feel exactly like you… my girlfriend just broke up with me… she said she wanted to take a break from dating and now I just heard that she’s already got a new crush, and it really hurt me that she would just lie to me and I trusted her.
I grew up the opposite way. I grew up preferring to be alone and had no interest in a relationship or family. I loved being alone and still rather spend alone time, although now I'm open to a relationship . I never knew that I was being psychologically self-sufficient- I thought I was weird! I am weird though..
@@BeckleJM really good. its good to realize that you can be alone, learn to love yourself and be at peace with it. if I ever have another relationship, it will be much less codependent and much more heart centered.
You just blew my mind. This entire time I have been in love with a girl and I realised why. She don't need me or anyone. She is her own women. Thank you. I will try applying this principal.
Kudos for the Video! Excuse me for the intrusion, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you heard the talk about - Saankramer Attractive Life System (should be on google have a look)? It is a great one of a kind product for learning how to master the power of attraction minus the headache. Ive heard some decent things about it and my buddy finally got cool success with it.
I love how you don't have multiple takes on this and it's just one straight video because it really shows that you're passionate about spreading this knowledge to us and this is truly inspiring and gives me so much hope. Thank you!
Around 8:17 you said "you cannot be authentic with someone that you need something from" and that hit me a little because I can be a little needy of my girlfriend and even friends and that means I'm more nice than I would normally be if I was 100% self sufficient since I'm doing/saying things to find favor from them. Thanks for the videos Leo!
This guy gets it. Love is still very real tho brotha. Once ur comfortable loving yourself, You can individually as an individual love someone else. And not rely on them needing anything, but merely fall in love w who and what they are, who and what you are, and what the two of you are and mean together.
Yeah but loving yourself too much means your don't give fuck about anything one else, let alone fall in love with anyone but yourself. What he failed to mention that there has to be a balance. Otherwise, what's the point of a relationship when it's all focused on you? I've seen this happen, some guys love themselves so much, they in the end realized that they wasted their older life doing so and forgot that there's more to life than themselves, but others around them can also account for their happiness (at that point, it's too late and they told me that kind of regret it cause so many girls and guys was attracted/interested to them, but the self loving person did not recognised that feeling and didn't give a shit, cause it was about themselves more). Imagine this, try to imagine you are the only one on this Earth. What will you do? What is your goal in life? It would be a really lonely place. You will find that the majority of people who have a goal in life accounts for achieving that goal for others, not just themselves. Hence, because it is not here in this world, we are all connected, and in much the same say. If you love all around you and emanate your energy to others, they too will reciprocate the same. It's like a balance, and to some people, that is very attractive! And not the always the ("love yourself first", which can be selfish and therefore unattractive).
Take it from me at almost 70 years old and after 42 years of marriage, three kids and two grandkids...THIS IS SO TRUE!!! I speak from experience! Great message!!
Your videos helped me 3 years ago to pass in my exams, now it’s helping me to save my relationship. thank you from my all heart for your honesty and the help.
My own parents were married for over 45 years and it was a total sham. They were emotionally divorced. These types of marriages actually last because their pathologies MATCH. These sham marriages because neither person ever grows. And this works for some ppl. I recognized this from a super young age and decided I would never live that way. And I never have or will. It is sick. That's why I never congratulate ppl who have been married for a long time. It means nothing. I am very happy I found this out very early on. Thx for sharing this type of info. It is MUCH NEEDED. And that's an understatement.
When I was younger I was that needy person and men couldn't run away from me fast enough. As I got older and secure within myself there were times where I would tell someone to please leave me alone and I would have a difficult time getting rid of them. This was surprising for me to learn but what you speak of is a very valuable lesson. Thank you for your wonderful posts.
+Debra Downes It's better than being a person that depends on outer stimulus to maintain their sanity. Most people are not capable of being alone because they just can't figure out what to do with themselves for hours at a time. It's a hallmark of intelligence that a person doesn't need others to relieve their boredom.
+Martin Hoch Introverts have a different brain-chemistry that allows them to be one with themselves, while chatterboxes need other people to form coherent thoughts. Oz never did give nothing to the Tinman.
my needy ego is having trouble handling all this realness you're dropping. thank you for selflessly posting all this brilliant material for free. it's truly awesome
I think some of these negative comments are missing the point. True happiness comes from within. In order to find true happiness from within you must detach yourself from the rest of the bullshit out there and find who you truly are, what makes you truly happy. That way when people enter your life and just so happen to leave your life, you're not a broken mess over it. Because you're already happy, your happiness isn't embedded within someone else. Children are the only ones that adults should be attach to (aka unconditional love), at least until they've reached adulthood and they go off into the world and find what makes them happy, then you get to be attached to them when you're wrinkly and old. Other than that you shouldn't be attached to any significant other like they're the air you breathe, you'll suffocate them. Plus I'm sure he's only referring to attracting a love interest and not being needy and not infant-to-parent attachment/neediness which is kind of necessary.
+Olivia Pi well, i have finished a long time relationship a couple of months ago. she and i started perfectly but in our last months we were having lots of problems. and when we finished that relationship i couldn't give any explanation to what has happened to us, what has been changed and why we changed. what made that beautiful days into an unrespectful escaping days. i learned from this man that what i and her lived are being lived in other relations too. and the reason of it. the reason that my r.ship didn't had strong roots was at first we wanted wrong things from each other. this video kind of gave me another look to things i lived.
In my whole life i was having enough of the "fell in move with you" peeps , it was only based on my outlook and for a moment about this psychology... I became physically very ill and homeless too , now i have bad teeth and gaps , weigh very little and even while the self love , independent stuff isvyet still present along with all smilyfaced me , you can NOT claim with that certainty any succes will be (if i got a home again etc) because they all still look at someone having the looks.. You can not just ignore this factor.apart from that : Thumbs up for the actual defenition regarding self love ..
Leo man you are one of my most respected youtubers and people in general. You are so articulate and intelligent. I have watched over 6 hours of your content and i can honestly say I have never disagreed or got an off feeling with anything you have said. You are my virtual mentor, you are changing my life for the best. Thank you and hope to cross paths some sunny day
this guy is awesome! be true to yourself love yourself and rely on no one but yourself and if you love yourself so much it will overflow so you can give that love to someone else
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Most of the ideas presented here can be found in Albert Ellis- REBT. (maybe you inspired from his theory). In this case it's about MUSTurbation: I must find the loved person, otherwise i am not a good man. + need for love ( people must treat me well). Both ways of thinking can lead to failure+generate anxiety.
you explained why is the cause for not being attractive, but did you offer the solution? after introspection? How to deal with your irrational way of thinking? The solution is -dispute. Asking rational questions about your own fears. I think "stop thinking, clear your mind" is not a permanent and durable solution. It's just a running from the problem. Once again-REBT-Albert Ellis. Or A. Beck.
+Muna Ali You are exactly right..I feel that it is best for a woman to get her house in order while waiting for her prince charming....Have a life and don't look for him...HE WILL FIND YOU ....You are right !
This is the best relationship advice video ever made! Btw. I can confirm the truthfulness of all this by my own experience. When I feel good, the amount of people I'm attracting is ridiculously high. A person who's feeling good in his own skin and doesn't need anything from others is like a precious magnet that everyone is drawn to ;)
when I search a video of how to be attractive, I don't mean it in a romantic... dating kind of way. I mean attractive in social situations, to be the light that lights up a dark room, the life of the conversation. Basically, I want my personality to be attractive. Does anyone have tips or videos to suggest? I swear you'd be a life saver, and I 'd love you forever XD
+Jasmine monsoon I think what makes people interesting, in the sense that they have an attractive personality like you say, is when they 1) Have lots of stuff going on in their life like hobbies, things you did with friends, travelling, etc. because they have lots of stories to tell and 2) Being truly passionate about something. Doesn't really matter what it is just that you care about it. Because if you do you will radiate that passion when you are talking about it. 3) A sense of humor. Just my opinion though.
+Jasmine monsoon Find out what you love and what you dream of, think about yourself and reflect on things. Be aware of your surroundings and most of all of yourself and your feelings. How do you actually feel the world you live in? All of this can be a start of a better you. What might also help further is reading good literature or watching documentaries to broaden your mind. Trust me - no ones personality is dull. Most people just never thought about themselves enough to actually see how great they are. Oh and also - don't just think about things but try to experience them as well.
try kindness, empathy and look forward to cinstantly learning about different topics to have subjects to talk about. on my view point, further than her looks, a bright woman stands out by the way she makes feel men, and I am sure works otherwise too.
I’ve been on my own for 12 years, I’m content! Most friends and people I meet don’t believe I am happy but I am, maybe it helps that I am an introvert. I love life! I embrace it. Life has been gifted to us! Complete YOU! Don’t wait for someone to complete you. Your partner is meant to add extra joy in your life and you to theirs.
The most attractive people to me are the humble, simple, kind ones who radiate with sweetness and love from the inside out. A person like that is a gem and deserves to be considered attractive over super models
This is the most helpful video I’ve seen in a long time, probably ever! Thank you so much, I’m in the middle of getting over someone right now and I think you really helped me figure out what to work on. But in general this is a concept not only on attractiveness but on living a happy and fulfilling life. I love that!
Leo is giving a lot of wrong informations here. More than 4 hours of talk on several videos to don’t say the truth about attraction ... He shares a lot of informations without evidence. In the video is even denying the scientific studies but he can’t provide any evidence himself... He neglects the importance of look ( height , face and ethnicity ) in attracting women ... Statistics prove that being short make men struggle a lot and that taller men are the most chosen by women. You can actually see this in real life everyday you don’t even need statistics especially in western countries. He doesn’t mean that short men can’t get laid of course. But they will get laid less and it’s proven by numbers. Leo mentions that look is not an important factor but it’s not true. He literally said « IT´S ACTUALLY GREAT NEWS FOR YOU MEN BECAUSE ITS A LOT EASIER to develop leadership qualities and CONFIDENCE, ASSERTIVENESS AND STRENGTH than it is to change your PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ! This is the opposite actually. Look is the first factor and the behavior comes after especially nowadays. Most of the men don’t like to feel powerless and prefer to say to themselves that money and leadership is the most important factor to attract women. Because if men accept that can’t change they can’t change theirs look to attract a woman they may feel powerless... By the way some women do pick up and he said that women don’t do that ...
Great video! Being alone and being lonely are two different things. Few years ago I lived at home with my family, had many friends and relationship where i felt suffocatingly lonely inside. Now im in a different country where i just know a few people and spend most of the time alone apart from work and feel fantastic. Get away from society's/parents/friends expectations and free yourself from fear of failure. You have to treat yourself right with respect. Go on a hike, take on a hobby learn something new like cooking/dancing/writing, something that can bring out your artistic side where you can express yourself and grow. Happiness comes from within and learning to love yourself for who you are and other people for who they are is the only path to fulfillment. Once you get into that mentality and help a few others out you will find that you are surrounded by love but this time with people who love you for who you are not for what they want from you.
Guys be thankful so much for what he offered he is amazing and we have no right to say bad or to criticized him....He is helping us and it's a great things
Your videos are very helpful and inspiring, especially for people like me who are looking to change their thought process and can't find any guidance. I'm glad I was able to come across your page. Many blessings to you!
Leo is giving a lot of wrong informations here. More than 4 hours of talk on several videos to don’t say the truth about attraction ... He shares a lot of informations without evidence. In the video is even denying the scientific studies but he can’t provide any evidence himself... He neglects the importance of look ( height , face and ethnicity ) in attracting women ... Statistics prove that being short make men struggle a lot and that taller men are the most chosen by women. You can actually see this in real life everyday you don’t even need statistics especially in western countries. He doesn’t mean that short men can’t get laid of course. But they will get laid less and it’s proven by numbers. Leo mentions that look is not an important factor but it’s not true. He literally said « IT´S ACTUALLY GREAT NEWS FOR YOU MEN BECAUSE ITS A LOT EASIER to develop leadership qualities and CONFIDENCE, ASSERTIVENESS AND STRENGTH than it is to change your PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ! This is the opposite actually. Look is the first factor and the behavior comes after especially nowadays. Most of the men don’t like to feel powerless and prefer to say to themselves that money and leadership is the most important factor to attract women. Because if men accept that can’t change they can’t change theirs look to attract a woman they may feel powerless... By the way some women do pick up and he said that women don’t do that ...
@Kill Slug Need and want is different. You have to work on your self, instead of seeking destractions from your loneliness and insurites. Learn to be controvertible being with your self.
@Kill Slug U don't need but want them- I've often looked to get in contact with women, cuz am lonely and feeling sad. But they can sense that and are turned off. Its easier to look for a quick fix. Then to fix your self. Some use video games. Youutbe- for ecapeism, but it will only distract u for so long. Until your sad again. I know i abuse weed but i keep doing it cuz its easy to do. Am on anti depressent. Makes me less stressed. But my brain feels empty, very little thoughts. so i have bery little to offer.
I'm three years sober and the Law of Attraction and AA have transformed my life. Just came across your videos. Unbelievable ! Words can not give them justice. Thank you very much. You have a gift
Have watched and took a few days to process your video on overcoming addictions. Thank you. You really can help people if only people are willing to just get it. On the contrary, no poetry, songs or art would even been made if the artist hadn’t been vulnerable in love. Just love deeply, hurt, love again, make mistakes, hurt again, but always stay. Never leave. Especially if you truly want someone because you know that they need you as much as you need them. Get educated together, get mad at each other, feel the world collapsing, be patient, allow space, love again’ never stop believing, love always, over and over again. The same person.
The problem with being really emotionally self sufficient is that the idea of a relationship becomes a bit pointless. That’s kind of how i’m feeling at the moment. My priority is to be good natured in every situation with no agenda. I feel that i’ve Destroyed all the fantasies of what a relationship is about. I now find it very difficult to imagine myself being in a relationship. I have no drive to find one. For a time this felt painful and empty. Now it just feels empty with a slight sense of relief.. I now have no idea how to begin a new path to love. It is like a void, but my breath feels soft and clear about it. I thought it might be a cold feeling, hard and brittle, but i feel a deeper warm glow
What you’re describing is a healthy human being having his own life and self sufficient The moment when you stumble with another likeminded HB, not needing anything from each other but just enjoying your companies is where the magic happen. Can you please update on your situation?
@@youalwaysgetwhatyouwant thanks for your response, it’s interesting reflecting on what I wrote four years ago. I haven’t met anyone over the last 4 years, either by stumbling or making a conscious effort. However, although I can still feel at times a futility of my future alone, I am generally happier than I was when I was younger trapped in a cycle/journey of trying to find a special love connection. At the moment I meditate on filling myself with divine love - maybe that will open up a path to stumble upon someone, but I have a feeling it won’t..I hope you are finding fulfilment in your life
Geez Leo! This is the exact mantra I've been searching to articulate for about the last month! I feel guilty not giving a donation for this meager what? An 18 minute video ?! WTF! Too good! I've only watched it 3 times and intend on watching it at least 3 or 4 more times before I'm done! Thank you so much! - Doug
I believe that all meaning in my life comes from sharing and caring for other people. I don't think I should be dependent on others, and certainly not on just one person, but if I was left to isolation there's nothing that could fulfill me on its own, no hobby, no sensation, no challenge. It's community with other people that gives these things purpose, in my opinion.
Do you know the continuation? "That’s what exactly thought Onegin. In adolescence’s first days He was seduced by unchecked craving, Fell victim of the passions plays."
hahaha, ok, I hope this advice works out for you, but i'm sure it won't the way you pontificate, over confident friend. Have you check out Maslow's Hierarchy of needs lately? Everyone has a deep need to connect, celebrity or other. Celebrity's look happy because most can act. Camera's off, stage makeup off, at home single, they're just as lonely as other single people looking to find a life long partner to connect with, when they're not busy making themselves busy to forget their predicament. Celebrities and recognized wealthy people have it extra tough to find true love. The needy vibe being unattractive, this is obvious, people are not attracted to weakness, but that doesn't mean to go out and look for 'completion' as a single to prove to others that you are not needy. It is a matter of having self control over your emotions. To give off that right level of vulnerability at the right time, and slowly grow trust and friendship is what counts especially in the beginning. Physically attractive people (sorry pal, you need to make less videos that can damage people who swallow your stuff and go to the gym), have an easier time forming such growth because they have a 'foot in the door' from the get go, so guys&gals, get your butt to the gym, watch what you eat, and take care of yourself. Do you go to the grocery store to buy a damaged grapefruit? While this is an ultimately superficial example, and not applicable completely, the world kind of works this way most of the time unfortunately. A healthy grapefruit will usually be the first to be noticed, taken in the hand, squeezed, smelled, and bought (tried). How you speak sounds very jaded, and as you say, 'detached'. No, this is not what relationships are about, they are about 'interdependence' formed through trust and time and loving your partners weak points as well their strong. When you are in love with someone and give them your full heart, that is the ULTIMATE 'needy' due to the level of power you have trusted them with over you. So, I believe there is a time for 'needy', and it's not in the beginning, but if you cannot make yourself completely 100% vulnerable (needy) in love, it will never be a full genuine experience. Do yourself a favour, the ultimate commitment 'marriage', read a standard wedding contract...for better or worse, richer ...etc. Note the agreements on 'neediness' throughout the contractual form.
Cheyenne Tanner Neediness is the source of all your problems in relationships, it is not the right way. Just listen to others who know more than you and try something different for once. Nothing is wrong with being by yourself and loving yourself. THEN you go out and have abundant love to give to your partner and to other people. Nothing this man said was unreasonable or offensive.
Completely agree with this. It's always been my default in life and with hindsight I see that's why people are attracted to me. In one relationship I went away from that and became needy, put way too much on the line and suspicious etc with disasterous results. You do need to love yourself first before loving others and you need to be happy being alone if necessary.
I appreciate the video and I thank you for it. Had a little trouble feeling excluded by the mention of being attractive to the "opposite sex". Such a great and useful piece of advice but it almost sounded like it wasn't intended to apply to the 10 percent (or so) of us who don't identify as straight.
your words are the only ones that stick out of all the self-help videos on youtube. what you're saying often goes with the Tao Te Ching; it's making sense on a deeper level.
Thank you a lot for this good content! What I kept from the video: 1. You don't need someone to fullfill you 2. You need introspection to reach this type of detachment
I can't believe so many people disagree with this. it screams of truth at me. So many of you are missing the point that people are turned off by neediness and desperation. if you love your self and know your self and learn to value your life without someone else "having" to be in it to be fulfilled then people will want to be a part of it because they sense your an emotionally healthy strong and confident person. it's obvious
You say it like It Is! You say it like it Should Be! You make the needy desire to make that Positive change. You express your thoughts with such a dynamic but down-to-earth-simply-posed view, which creates the great desire for Self Improvement. Kudos to you! Thank you for affording your gift to many, without expectation. Continued success to you.
Thanks Leo for always being there, I am going to buy your course today cuz I am grateful and also I am exhausted by my stupidity. I hope your video reaches billions , I really dont understand how you know so much so young but I appreciate you
I agree you don't have to behave needy to the opposite sex, but you can't be indifferent either. It's in between. Thanks, Leo. I've seen many of your videos and they always work for me.
I have been watching your videos about relationships to get over someone and to understand myself. I have had this cruch or obsession kind a thing with someone for over a 7 years or so and i wasn't able to figure it out or to understand it and i didn't know what to do..... and now I am here. Your videos have been helping me a lot and I am so happy that i end up here. Here you have like complete package of thing that i need to improve about myself. And about this topic or actually topic about dealing with rejection and getting over of someone. I kind a become to realise that first I was watching videos about how to get over someone - these kind a helped me to understand the situation but actually they didn't help to get over and move on. I was still in that trap and looping, thinking over and over about all the things that has happened and so on. But what actually helps to get over and get myselfself back together and move on, are videos like these "How To Be Attractive" (confidence and being happy withyouself ) Most of the times I just stay to long into these situations, like thinking and analysing and feeling ( stucked ) What i need is to drop it and move on right away, like at same moment. Cheers mate ! Appreciate your time and dedication.
This is a great video. I'm using it as a gauge to find out who I really am, where I'm at with my existence, where I want to go with my life and, what it takes for me to get there. It is amazing what a break up has lead me to. Now I'm thankful to her, the amazing woman who had the guts to dump me. At 46 years of age and 6'4" tall, I am a grown man but... I have some more growing up to do. There is always room for improvement someone once said :-) Most of this, I've always known, I was simply distracted by the things that made up my comfort zone. I'm now dusting my self off, make sure I can walk again and, here I go !
Come across this guy in a stage of my life exactly when i needed it. A recent separation from a 16 year marriage, time for us both to find ourselves and be happy with us individually and maybe one day before its too late we will find each other again this time without losing ourselves.
I have a question for you Lio, you said that I need to be detached emotionally and physically, but it's impossible because if I'm detached so why do I need to be in a relationship in first place, it doesn't make sense to me !!!
I guess he's saying you don't need to be in any relationship. But it seems consistent with his philosophy to say that someone could add something to your life, without them being NECESSARY to it.
I understand what you mean but the root of desire shouldn't be powered by a sense of need, it's more so a want. There's a difference between wanting and needing - example, my lover doesn't need me to live, and i don't him...but do i WANT him? Without a doubt.
Honestly, As a very attractive person who is complimented quite often. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE! The other thing is that one must not only be physically attractive but, one must be mentally and spiritually attractive. Work on not just being physically attractive but, also being a good soul and spirit, from within. This is another deep part of attractiveness.
Leo is absolutely right here. I realised this a long time ago but the thing is...it is very very hard to do. We as humans need love and affection of others to fill that void in ourselves. To get to that level of complete self-sufficiency that Leo talks about requires tremendous and insurmountable effort that it is practically impossible unless you've reached enlightenment. Its idealistic thinking and simply unrealistic
Leo, I myself can't say I am completely fulfilled, for my life is still a working progress... Every aspect of my life, i am continually working on:self help each morning, my entrepreneurship to financial freedom, my spirituality w/ God much better, better relationships with my imediate family, i surround myself with real friends and priceless mentorship. I mean, I don't think I have Arrived... or be completely fulfilled at this point in my life but im definitely on my way. Does this mean, i shouldnt distract myself w/ getting caught up in the dating world until I reach my ideal fulfillment? :/
Psalms Pabico The real question is should you put your progress on hold and would you want a man that wants that of you? I bet you know the answer. Love can work in weird ways. Just don't turn a blind eye.
I’m so happy he addressed both partners has to be on this same wave in order for this mindset to truly manifest because I’d been on both sides of the fence. And, can’t express how important it is the two people understand their individual happiness derive from themselves-never from the relationship itself or from the other person. I never noticed in my own life since coming into realization the guys who are needed, desperate etc., in most cases are unattractive to me. I can have one or two conversations and quickly see we are on opposites energy than it makes sense why they we never click to begin with. I have been by myself for a min and I’m loving it!
Brilliant... This concept is painful to internalize, but like anything else, Practice makes Perfect... And this is the most liberating state to live in once truly internalized... Detachment can be painful though. I guess, however, that with any growth comes discomfort.
My problem is that I am confident, I believe in myself, etc I do not need people. but my partner won't love me openly and fully. and he dosent know why. it's like a wall is there and we don't know how to break that down. the only down side of me is that I get territorial. if another female or male hits on my significant other I immediately get agressive. I've always been this way, not sure why considering I love myself, I don't see it as jelous becuase I've been there as well. idk what I'm doing wrong.
Sounds like both of you are being dishonest. Look deeper. Be more self-honest. If a guy is not willing the commit to you, it usually means you're just not the one and he's looking for someone better. Guys are simple in this regard.
you got to stop being jealous straight up , cause a women is going to do what she wants , when she wants and theres nothing you can do ,our job as a man is just be happy with our self and just keep her laughing at all times im not saying those silly ass jokes be confident and she will love you slow. it happen to me .
+Yumie Bear Jealousy is a sign of great insecurity and mistrust. Those two things, combined, can cause issues where you may not be opening yourself to him the way that communicates that you are confident with him in your life. You need to be okay with letting him go (not saying he'll leave you, but you just have to be okay with the fact that you are just as happy without him as you are with him). The more confidence you have in yourself and the less needy you come across, then he'll see you as more of a scarcity and open himself up to love you more. Try it and you'll see that loving yourself more and being okay with a worst-case scenario is not that bad. I used to be very insecure in this manner and no good can come from it in the end.
+Yumie Bear You are insecure. If your man loves you, he will stick with you, you do not have to be territorial. You are just going to push your man away, do you think he needs you to protect him from other girls? You are just creating problems within yourself and your relationship.
+Yumie Bear If someone is used to have a dysfunctional relationship then a healthy one might actually be scary for that person on a subconsious level. Talk to him about what kind of relationships he is used to (if he wants to talk about that) or about how you both see the ideal relationship and work at it step by step :) advice from a cat with a hat so take it with a grain of salt :P
Omg I didn't know I was a needy person until now and I'm not focusing on myself but on what I want from my partner I'm here sitting in the couch alone watching you and I was thinking what I needed from my partner but you open my eyes. I don't need my partner to do everything for me or to be here with me 24/7 I need to build myself to build confidence to create a healthy environment for myself. to stop thinking on what's he's doing all the time but to start thinking on what to do for myself .
True. Sometimes. Being in a relationship is more stressful with disagreements also. If its goes south. The gravity will mess you up even more than before when you were lonely and single.leaving you more devastated
Man! I am the exact counter-example you are talking about. Thanks for this amazing lecture! I get much less confused about my unsuccessful relationship and my unpleasant life after watching it! You are my mentor.
Hey Leo, just wanted to thank you. Because of your videos my mind opened up about 3years ago. Because of you i learned to meditate and changed many ways. Thanks bro!!! Thanks for help the ones in need.
If you liked this video, be sure to check out my related videos:
1) How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You - What Girls Really Want
2) How To Make A Guy Fall In Love With You - What Guys Really Want
3) How To Be A Man - The Deep Core Of Being Masculine
4) How To Be More Confident - A Step-by-Step Process for Becoming Truly Confident
5) Healthy Relationships - What You MUST Know To Sustain A Great Relationship
6) How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert
Master the ability to be alone.
I love being alone. I think it's a weakness being needy & obsessed with finding someone. The power is within you, not in a new boyfriend or girlfriend.
Yes!!
Been alone for 15 years off four month and back alone for ten, and I love it it let's me reflect on my self, it does get lonely , but I still rather be alone than with someone that's not my match
theres also the other end of the pendulum, im alone most of the time. but im sometimes lonely and too focused on the hard work and grind. No authentic and deep relationships, just shallow ones...
H O W ?
Coming from my experience, Leo is telling the truth! It works. Relationship is like a bird in your hand, if you hold it tight, it will die from suffocation, if you hold it lose, it will fly away, just hold it with the right amount of pressure.
The push, the pull.
I love pushing & pulling Sarah!
lmao thats great Joe Roz
one of my most valued techniques
But the thing is how to do it?
Yes! My husband needed my attention all the time. I told him, I cannot make you happy 24/7....you need to be happy with yourself. He ended up leaving for another needy woman. I am enjoying being by myself!
Wow, that's quite something. Peace to you.
Ppl who look for needy ppl are manipulative
Maybe he just wanted you to be engaged in the relationship, genuinely interested in him and bonding instead of being selfish and coasting.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😭😅😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂
Did you cheat on him? And why did you do it?
Remember that in order to love yourself, you must first accept and respect yourself. Some weak points you have are permanent and can't be changed. You have to understand that your weaknesses AND strengths define who you are. It's the combination of both that make you special.
I can't imagine ever loving myself. I'm not sure anyone actually loves themselves.
Almost everybody needs to see this video!! You're not meant to go into a relationship because you're sad and need someone to make you feel loved, you need to be happy and simply want someone to share your happiness with.
Rose Ramirez EXACTLY
very true, it is extremely valuable advice & information. especially when you've kinda lost yourself in a relationship and not knowing why or what happened
yea lets listen to the guy who has the NAMBLA symbol as his logo.
There are way better places to get this type of knowledge
LumpyRex007 I replied to the comment, not the merits of this video. Yeah lots of places to get info. What’s NAMBLA btw?
Blessings
@@Jillady
The triangle symbol leo uses is the north america man-boy love association
Google it. Leo is not someone people should follow.
I AM the one i have been looking for!
Sharon Sass mainstream media
stfu
😂 awww haha basically
FUCK YES SHARON 🌷
DT M
Right on! You should be. I am mine as well.💯😎
Almost 5 years ago I have watched this video and it set me up on a personal development path which I am still walking today. Now after almost 5 years of development work I can hardly grasp the magnitude of all good things personal development work gave me. My life is now so much better. Thank you, Leo. This one video has set me free..
Same for me
‘You can not be authentic with someone that you need something from.’ That’s very true
VERY TRUE LEO. Gotta love yourself first and be happy with JUST yourself.
Linda Carter! As in former Wonder Woman?!
Everyone needs only 3 hobbies: 1) to make money 2) to keep you healthy 3) to bring you joy
or 1 that does all 3
e.g me as a Pilates teacher
i make $, feel fit and am joyous
Marty Cook start a family***
Marty Cook how does that bring joy. Not being sarcastic. I make money I’m healthy well I’m a pro dancer anyway. No joy. Well except when performing
Lyrical Terrorist lyrical i wouldn’t know. I stopped Caring a long time ago. You don’t have a pic. So..doesn’t matter. Rather I live or die I just don’t care
Ugh your page has no content. Confused
Man this is totally awesome.....you sir are truly inspiring.....you've got no idea how desolate I felt before I watched this....I've realised that you are right !....I dnt really need anyone to complete myself...I already am complete...I got my music, my car, friends..AND a purpose in life....thanks a ton bro..!
Enjoy life... with and without others :) Good work!
Actualized.org Absolutely......I mean Ive been such a dumbass thinking why me ?....why do I have to be the one getting dumped even when I was so damn honest to people ?....why did she do that ?.....why did I have to suffer ?......I realised that I was just too attached and prioritised relationships too much.....I really should not have!.....there are so many other stuff to do in the world! Getting too attached was my greatest mistake........dont you think so ?
Bharat Jeevan Yes
Actualized.org i love this other girl so much the problem is she has a boyfriend help me out
david mokotedi You're too needy. Why are you in love with a girl who hasn't had sex with you? Only because you have too little sexual options.
Thank you! I needed this! My wife of 14 years with two young boys is going through limerence. She’s divorcing me to be with another person. I’ve been so depressed and suicidal because of her. Thanks for making me realize my own happiness.
I feel exactly like you… my girlfriend just broke up with me… she said she wanted to take a break from dating and now I just heard that she’s already got a new crush, and it really hurt me that she would just lie to me and I trusted her.
I’m sorry to hear that and I hope you’re doing better now
I am sorry to hear that , hope you are feeling better now
Keep pushing man. Work on getting you back, not her.
I grew up the opposite way. I grew up preferring to be alone and had no interest in a relationship or family. I loved being alone and still rather spend alone time, although now I'm open to a relationship . I never knew that I was being psychologically self-sufficient- I thought I was weird! I am weird though..
Im alone and totally happy. Have no interest in a relationship. Life is great!
Why are you here?
How's it going now, I would be so glad for an update.
@@BeckleJM really good. its good to realize that you can be alone, learn to love yourself and be at peace with it. if I ever have another relationship, it will be much less codependent and much more heart centered.
if we can't love ourselves...who can we love?
that's deep
I farted.
+Topinka Hat uh
+Topinka Hat yyyyea i think im gonna go now.. have a great life m8
+Bruna K bae 😍
You just blew my mind. This entire time I have been in love with a girl and I realised why. She don't need me or anyone. She is her own women. Thank you. I will try applying this principal.
Leo, you're wrong, I need you and your videos.
Ondrej Hrdy if he doesn't help, there'll be another
Shared videos I think he can't be replaced
lol
tttttttyger hahah hey
Kudos for the Video! Excuse me for the intrusion, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you heard the talk about - Saankramer Attractive Life System (should be on google have a look)? It is a great one of a kind product for learning how to master the power of attraction minus the headache. Ive heard some decent things about it and my buddy finally got cool success with it.
I love how you don't have multiple takes on this and it's just one straight video because it really shows that you're passionate about spreading this knowledge to us and this is truly inspiring and gives me so much hope. Thank you!
Around 8:17 you said "you cannot be authentic with someone that you need something from" and that hit me a little because I can be a little needy of my girlfriend and even friends and that means I'm more nice than I would normally be if I was 100% self sufficient since I'm doing/saying things to find favor from them. Thanks for the videos Leo!
This guy gets it. Love is still very real tho brotha. Once ur comfortable loving yourself, You can individually as an individual love someone else. And not rely on them needing anything, but merely fall in love w who and what they are, who and what you are, and what the two of you are and mean together.
Yeah but loving yourself too much means your don't give fuck about anything one else, let alone fall in love with anyone but yourself. What he failed to mention that there has to be a balance. Otherwise, what's the point of a relationship when it's all focused on you? I've seen this happen, some guys love themselves so much, they in the end realized that they wasted their older life doing so and forgot that there's more to life than themselves, but others around them can also account for their happiness (at that point, it's too late and they told me that kind of regret it cause so many girls and guys was attracted/interested to them, but the self loving person did not recognised that feeling and didn't give a shit, cause it was about themselves more). Imagine this, try to imagine you are the only one on this Earth. What will you do? What is your goal in life? It would be a really lonely place. You will find that the majority of people who have a goal in life accounts for achieving that goal for others, not just themselves. Hence, because it is not here in this world, we are all connected, and in much the same say. If you love all around you and emanate your energy to others, they too will reciprocate the same. It's like a balance, and to some people, that is very attractive! And not the always the ("love yourself first", which can be selfish and therefore unattractive).
Take it from me at almost 70 years old and after 42 years of marriage, three kids and two grandkids...THIS IS SO TRUE!!! I speak from experience! Great message!!
Your videos helped me 3 years ago to pass in my exams, now it’s helping me to save my relationship.
thank you from my all heart for your honesty and the help.
My own parents were married for over 45 years and it was a total sham. They were emotionally divorced. These types of marriages actually last because their pathologies MATCH. These sham marriages because neither person ever grows. And this works for some ppl. I recognized this from a super young age and decided I would never live that way. And I never have or will. It is sick. That's why I never congratulate ppl who have been married for a long time. It means nothing. I am very happy I found this out very early on. Thx for sharing this type of info. It is MUCH NEEDED. And that's an understatement.
These videos are literally saving my life. I am so grateful for your posts!!!
Hi are you from the UK?
IKR , this shit is great
"You cannot be authentic with someone that you need something from." Amen.
Amen 😭
When I was younger I was that needy person and men couldn't run away from me fast enough. As I got older and secure within myself there were times where I would tell someone to please leave me alone and I would have a difficult time getting rid of them. This was surprising for me to learn but what you speak of is a very valuable lesson. Thank you for your wonderful posts.
Is something wrong with me? I love being by myself more than being with ppl. I take 3 sometimes 4 hours daily to b by myself
Nothing wrong with that. I am the same. That's how introverts are.
+Debra Downes It's better than being a person that depends on outer stimulus to maintain their sanity. Most people are not capable of being alone because they just can't figure out what to do with themselves for hours at a time. It's a hallmark of intelligence that a person doesn't need others to relieve their boredom.
+Martin Hoch Introverts have a different brain-chemistry that allows them to be one with themselves, while chatterboxes need other people to form coherent thoughts.
Oz never did give nothing to the Tinman.
>literally a Debbie downer
+Tom Evans I'm an introvert AND a chatterbox.
I don't feel he is focusing on detachment but truly on self love and self worth.
my needy ego is having trouble handling all this realness you're dropping. thank you for selflessly posting all this brilliant material for free. it's truly awesome
I think some of these negative comments are missing the point. True happiness comes from within. In order to find true happiness from within you must detach yourself from the rest of the bullshit out there and find who you truly are, what makes you truly happy. That way when people enter your life and just so happen to leave your life, you're not a broken mess over it. Because you're already happy, your happiness isn't embedded within someone else. Children are the only ones that adults should be attach to (aka unconditional love), at least until they've reached adulthood and they go off into the world and find what makes them happy, then you get to be attached to them when you're wrinkly and old. Other than that you shouldn't be attached to any significant other like they're the air you breathe, you'll suffocate them. Plus I'm sure he's only referring to attracting a love interest and not being needy and not infant-to-parent attachment/neediness which is kind of necessary.
this video has changed my life. thank you!
How? Like, in which kind of ways?
+Olivia Pi well, i have finished a long time relationship a couple of months ago. she and i started perfectly but in our last months we were having lots of problems. and when we finished that relationship i couldn't give any explanation to what has happened to us, what has been changed and why we changed. what made that beautiful days into an unrespectful escaping days. i learned from this man that what i and her lived are being lived in other relations too. and the reason of it. the reason that my r.ship didn't had strong roots was at first we wanted wrong things from each other. this video kind of gave me another look to things i lived.
In my whole life i was having enough of the "fell in move with you" peeps , it was only based on my outlook and for a moment about this psychology... I became physically very ill and homeless too , now i have bad teeth and gaps , weigh very little and even while the self love , independent stuff isvyet still present along with all smilyfaced me , you can NOT claim with that certainty any succes will be (if i got a home again etc) because they all still look at someone having the looks.. You can not just ignore this factor.apart from that : Thumbs up for the actual defenition regarding self love ..
Leo man you are one of my most respected youtubers and people in general. You are so articulate and intelligent. I have watched over 6 hours of your content and i can honestly say I have never disagreed or got an off feeling with anything you have said. You are my virtual mentor, you are changing my life for the best. Thank you and hope to cross paths some sunny day
this guy is awesome! be true to yourself love yourself and rely on no one but yourself and if you love yourself so much it will overflow so you can give that love to someone else
Find your life purpose, create your dream career.
Check out my comprehensive video course.
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Actualized.org This is so true Léo! Mind-blowing, we Must Kill our Ego... I love all your videos! Keep on ;)
Most of the ideas presented here can be found in Albert Ellis- REBT. (maybe you inspired from his theory). In this case it's about MUSTurbation: I must find the loved person, otherwise i am not a good man. + need for love ( people must treat me well). Both ways of thinking can lead to failure+generate anxiety.
you explained why is the cause for not being attractive, but did you offer the solution? after introspection? How to deal with your irrational way of thinking? The solution is -dispute. Asking rational questions about your own fears. I think "stop thinking, clear your mind" is not a permanent and durable solution. It's just a running from the problem. Once again-REBT-Albert Ellis. Or A. Beck.
+Muna Ali You are exactly right..I feel that it is best for a woman to get her house in order while waiting for her prince charming....Have a life and don't look for him...HE WILL FIND YOU ....You are right !
+Anna S Good point!
This is the best relationship advice video ever made! Btw. I can confirm the truthfulness of all this by my own experience. When I feel good, the amount of people I'm attracting is ridiculously high. A person who's feeling good in his own skin and doesn't need anything from others is like a precious magnet that everyone is drawn to ;)
when I search a video of how to be attractive, I don't mean it in a romantic... dating kind of way. I mean attractive in social situations, to be the light that lights up a dark room, the life of the conversation. Basically, I want my personality to be attractive. Does anyone have tips or videos to suggest? I swear you'd be a life saver, and I 'd love you forever XD
trust me jasmine monsoon with your looks youll do just fine.
bogdan zoric aww thats so sweet
+Jasmine monsoon I think what makes people interesting, in the sense that they have an attractive personality like you say, is when they 1) Have lots of stuff going on in their life like hobbies, things you did with friends, travelling, etc. because they have lots of stories to tell and 2) Being truly passionate about something. Doesn't really matter what it is just that you care about it. Because if you do you will radiate that passion when you are talking about it. 3) A sense of humor. Just my opinion though.
+Jasmine monsoon Find out what you love and what you dream of, think about yourself and reflect on things. Be aware of your surroundings and most of all of yourself and your feelings. How do you actually feel the world you live in? All of this can be a start of a better you. What might also help further is reading good literature or watching documentaries to broaden your mind. Trust me - no ones personality is dull. Most people just never thought about themselves enough to actually see how great they are. Oh and also - don't just think about things but try to experience them as well.
try kindness, empathy and look forward to cinstantly learning about different topics to have subjects to talk about. on my view point, further than her looks, a bright woman stands out by the way she makes feel men, and I am sure works otherwise too.
I love this channel because there's no ads and help other people's situations 🙂
I’ve been on my own for 12 years, I’m content! Most friends and people I meet don’t believe I am happy but I am, maybe it helps that I am an introvert.
I love life! I embrace it. Life has been gifted to us! Complete YOU!
Don’t wait for someone to complete you. Your partner is meant to add extra joy in your life and you to theirs.
Strong ❤️
The most attractive people to me are the humble, simple, kind ones who radiate with sweetness and love from the inside out. A person like that is a gem and deserves to be considered attractive over super models
This is the most helpful video I’ve seen in a long time, probably ever! Thank you so much, I’m in the middle of getting over someone right now and I think you really helped me figure out what to work on. But in general this is a concept not only on attractiveness but on living a happy and fulfilling life. I love that!
Leo is giving a lot of wrong informations here.
More than 4 hours of talk on several videos to don’t say the truth about attraction ... He shares a lot of informations without evidence. In the video is even denying the scientific studies but he can’t provide any evidence himself...
He neglects the importance of look ( height , face and ethnicity ) in attracting women ...
Statistics prove that being short make men struggle a lot and that taller men are the most chosen by women. You can actually see this in real life everyday you don’t even need statistics especially in western countries.
He doesn’t mean that short men can’t get laid of course. But they will get laid less and it’s proven by numbers.
Leo mentions that look is not an important factor but it’s not true.
He literally said « IT´S ACTUALLY GREAT NEWS FOR YOU MEN BECAUSE ITS A LOT EASIER to develop leadership qualities and CONFIDENCE, ASSERTIVENESS AND STRENGTH than it is to change your PHYSICAL APPEARANCE !
This is the opposite actually. Look is the first factor and the behavior comes after especially nowadays. Most of the men don’t like to feel powerless and prefer to say to themselves that money and leadership is the most important factor to attract women. Because if men accept that can’t change they can’t change theirs look to attract a woman they may feel powerless...
By the way some women do pick up and he said that women don’t do that ...
You a mind reading genius. I like your study of psychology, Dude, you got a gift.
Great video! Being alone and being lonely are two different things. Few years ago I lived at home with my family, had many friends and relationship where i felt suffocatingly lonely inside. Now im in a different country where i just know a few people and spend most of the time alone apart from work and feel fantastic. Get away from society's/parents/friends expectations and free yourself from fear of failure. You have to treat yourself right with respect. Go on a hike, take on a hobby learn something new like cooking/dancing/writing, something that can bring out your artistic side where you can express yourself and grow. Happiness comes from within and learning to love yourself for who you are and other people for who they are is the only path to fulfillment. Once you get into that mentality and help a few others out you will find that you are surrounded by love but this time with people who love you for who you are not for what they want from you.
Well said 👏. I couldn't agree more with you about this.
Guys be thankful so much for what he offered he is amazing and we have no right to say bad or to criticized him....He is helping us and it's a great things
Your videos are very helpful and inspiring, especially for people like me who are looking to change their thought process and can't find any guidance. I'm glad I was able to come across your page. Many blessings to you!
Thanks!
Hi Anna, I thought this was a good video too, so funny I scrolled through the comments and saw you here *does hip bump *
He's very insightful and inspiring
Leo is giving a lot of wrong informations here.
More than 4 hours of talk on several videos to don’t say the truth about attraction ... He shares a lot of informations without evidence. In the video is even denying the scientific studies but he can’t provide any evidence himself...
He neglects the importance of look ( height , face and ethnicity ) in attracting women ...
Statistics prove that being short make men struggle a lot and that taller men are the most chosen by women. You can actually see this in real life everyday you don’t even need statistics especially in western countries.
He doesn’t mean that short men can’t get laid of course. But they will get laid less and it’s proven by numbers.
Leo mentions that look is not an important factor but it’s not true.
He literally said « IT´S ACTUALLY GREAT NEWS FOR YOU MEN BECAUSE ITS A LOT EASIER to develop leadership qualities and CONFIDENCE, ASSERTIVENESS AND STRENGTH than it is to change your PHYSICAL APPEARANCE !
This is the opposite actually. Look is the first factor and the behavior comes after especially nowadays. Most of the men don’t like to feel powerless and prefer to say to themselves that money and leadership is the most important factor to attract women. Because if men accept that can’t change they can’t change theirs look to attract a woman they may feel powerless...
By the way some women do pick up and he said that women don’t do that ...
"You cannot be authentic with someone you need something from "..... That struck a chord
@Kill Slug Need and want is different. You have to work on your self, instead of seeking destractions from your loneliness and insurites. Learn to be controvertible being with your self.
@Kill Slug U don't need but want them- I've often looked to get in contact with women, cuz am lonely and feeling sad. But they can sense that and are turned off. Its easier to look for a quick fix. Then to fix your self. Some use video games. Youutbe- for ecapeism, but it will only distract u for so long. Until your sad again. I know i abuse weed but i keep doing it cuz its easy to do.
Am on anti depressent. Makes me less stressed. But my brain feels empty, very little thoughts. so i have bery little to offer.
Kill Slug in my head, it still
goes back to want vs need. The want for female attention vs the need and the actions you take to get it are different.
"We live in a society" 8:49 great, I spent too much time on the internet where that made me laugh like an idiot 😂😅
Same lol
I'm three years sober and the Law of Attraction and AA have transformed my life. Just came across your videos. Unbelievable ! Words can not give them justice. Thank you very much. You have a gift
Have watched and took a few days to process your video on overcoming addictions. Thank you. You really can help people if only people are willing to just get it. On the contrary, no poetry, songs or art would even been made if the artist hadn’t been vulnerable in love. Just love deeply, hurt, love again, make mistakes, hurt again, but always stay. Never leave. Especially if you truly want someone because you know that they need you as much as you need them. Get educated together, get mad at each other, feel the world collapsing, be patient, allow space, love again’ never stop believing, love always, over and over again. The same person.
These are amazing, from coming with such low self esteem I'm actually feeling happy with myself. You're amazing!
This is true. Thanks for the knowledge . Don't mind the negative comments
do you HONESTLY think people as smart and confident as leo give a fuck what people think? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@userMikeforsure1997 Well obviously he does, because he keeps replying to them. "LOL!!!!!"
The problem with being really emotionally self sufficient is that the idea of a relationship becomes a bit pointless. That’s kind of how i’m feeling at the moment. My priority is to be good natured in every situation with no agenda. I feel that i’ve Destroyed all the fantasies of what a relationship is about. I now find it very difficult to imagine myself being in a relationship. I have no drive to find one. For a time this felt painful and empty. Now it just feels empty with a slight sense of relief.. I now have no idea how to begin a new path to love. It is like a void, but my breath feels soft and clear about it. I thought it might be a cold feeling, hard and brittle, but i feel a deeper warm glow
What you’re describing is a healthy human being having his own life and self sufficient
The moment when you stumble with another likeminded HB, not needing anything from each other but just enjoying your companies is where the magic happen.
Can you please update on your situation?
@@youalwaysgetwhatyouwant thanks for your response, it’s interesting reflecting on what I wrote four years ago. I haven’t met anyone over the last 4 years, either by stumbling or making a conscious effort. However, although I can still feel at times a futility of my future alone, I am generally happier than I was when I was younger trapped in a cycle/journey of trying to find a special love connection. At the moment I meditate on filling myself with divine love - maybe that will open up a path to stumble upon someone, but I have a feeling it won’t..I hope you are finding fulfilment in your life
Geez Leo! This is the exact mantra I've been searching to articulate for about the last month! I feel guilty not giving a donation for this meager what? An 18 minute video ?! WTF! Too good! I've only watched it 3 times and intend on watching it at least 3 or 4 more times before I'm done! Thank you so much! - Doug
I believe that all meaning in my life comes from sharing and caring for other people. I don't think I should be dependent on others, and certainly not on just one person, but if I was left to isolation there's nothing that could fulfill me on its own, no hobby, no sensation, no challenge. It's community with other people that gives these things purpose, in my opinion.
You're a really good philosophy.
Psychologist, and coach.
Thank you, it's super valuable !
It's like Russian poet Pushkin told: "The less we love a woman the more she likes us". But you explained it even more)
Саша Ільїн yes, it’s a paradox,...but true 👌
Do you know the continuation?
"That’s what exactly thought Onegin.
In adolescence’s first days
He was seduced by unchecked craving,
Fell victim of the passions plays."
hahaha, ok, I hope this advice works out for you, but i'm sure it won't the way you pontificate, over confident friend.
Have you check out Maslow's Hierarchy of needs lately?
Everyone has a deep need to connect, celebrity or other. Celebrity's look happy because most can act. Camera's off, stage makeup off, at home single, they're just as lonely as other single people looking to find a life long partner to connect with, when they're not busy making themselves busy to forget their predicament. Celebrities and recognized wealthy people have it extra tough to find true love.
The needy vibe being unattractive, this is obvious, people are not attracted to weakness, but that doesn't mean to go out and look for 'completion' as a single to prove to others that you are not needy. It is a matter of having self control over your emotions.
To give off that right level of vulnerability at the right time, and slowly grow trust and friendship is what counts especially in the beginning. Physically attractive people (sorry pal, you need to make less videos that can damage people who swallow your stuff and go to the gym), have an easier time forming such growth because they have a 'foot in the door' from the get go, so guys&gals, get your butt to the gym, watch what you eat, and take care of yourself. Do you go to the grocery store to buy a damaged grapefruit? While this is an ultimately superficial example, and not applicable completely, the world kind of works this way most of the time unfortunately. A healthy grapefruit will usually be the first to be noticed, taken in the hand, squeezed, smelled, and bought (tried).
How you speak sounds very jaded, and as you say, 'detached'. No, this is not what relationships are about, they are about 'interdependence' formed through trust and time and loving your partners weak points as well their strong. When you are in love with someone and give them your full heart, that is the ULTIMATE 'needy' due to the level of power you have trusted them with over you. So, I believe there is a time for 'needy', and it's not in the beginning, but if you cannot make yourself completely 100% vulnerable (needy) in love, it will never be a full genuine experience.
Do yourself a favour, the ultimate commitment 'marriage', read a standard wedding contract...for better or worse, richer ...etc. Note the agreements on 'neediness' throughout the contractual form.
MARK S I agree. There’s much more solid relationship advice out there like Dr Gottman for example.
There's nothing wrong with interdependence just love yourself first. Quit being needy already.
Cheyenne Tanner Neediness is the source of all your problems in relationships, it is not the right way. Just listen to others who know more than you and try something different for once. Nothing is wrong with being by yourself and loving yourself. THEN you go out and have abundant love to give to your partner and to other people. Nothing this man said was unreasonable or offensive.
That’s why people get divorce silly. Cause it changes with time
You are a legend bro. One of the things that I love about your content is that you keep it real.
Completely agree with this. It's always been my default in life and with hindsight I see that's why people are attracted to me. In one relationship I went away from that and became needy, put way too much on the line and suspicious etc with disasterous results. You do need to love yourself first before loving others and you need to be happy being alone if necessary.
Me before watching this: I’m ugly
Me after watching this: I’m still ugly
I appreciate the video and I thank you for it. Had a little trouble feeling excluded by the mention of being attractive to the "opposite sex". Such a great and useful piece of advice but it almost sounded like it wasn't intended to apply to the 10 percent (or so) of us who don't identify as straight.
Think I remember him mentioning these concepts apply to same sex relationships
"You cannot be authentic with someone that you need something from"
your words are the only ones that stick out of all the self-help videos on youtube. what you're saying often goes with the Tao Te Ching; it's making sense on a deeper level.
Thank you a lot for this good content!
What I kept from the video:
1. You don't need someone to fullfill you
2. You need introspection to reach this type of detachment
I can't believe so many people disagree with this. it screams of truth at me. So many of you are missing the point that people are turned off by neediness and desperation. if you love your self and know your self and learn to value your life without someone else "having" to be in it to be fulfilled then people will want to be a part of it because they sense your an emotionally healthy strong and confident person. it's obvious
“ Indifference is all the difference “ Corey Wayne
I descovered this video over 5 years ago and it changed my life. I am now confident as fuck and am married to my dream girl. Thank you wise man!
Congrats!
@@moeserhan160 thanks mate! Hope you are well yourself.
You say it like It Is! You say it like it Should Be! You make the needy desire to make that Positive change. You express your thoughts with such a dynamic but down-to-earth-simply-posed view, which creates the great desire for Self Improvement. Kudos to you! Thank you for affording your gift to many, without expectation. Continued success to you.
Thanks Leo for always being there, I am going to buy your course today cuz I am grateful and also I am exhausted by my stupidity. I hope your video reaches billions , I really dont understand how you know so much so young but I appreciate you
So much wisdom in so little time! Thank you so much!
I do exactly the things that u suggest in this video , now i m happy n exploring myself . Thx too much 🙏🙏💐💐💐
Sunita Saha God bless you
We're all sad people searching for this shit
LMAO
😂😂😂😂
mannnn
Some things can only be found by not searching for them.
You're right
I agree you don't have to behave needy to the opposite sex, but you can't be indifferent either. It's in between. Thanks, Leo. I've seen many of your videos and they always work for me.
I have been watching your videos about relationships to get over someone and to understand myself. I have had this cruch or obsession kind a thing with someone for over a 7 years or so and i wasn't able to figure it out or to understand it and i didn't know what to do..... and now I am here. Your videos have been helping me a lot and I am so happy that i end up here. Here you have like complete package of thing that i need to improve about myself.
And about this topic or actually topic about dealing with rejection and getting over of someone. I kind a become to realise that first I was watching videos about how to get over someone - these kind a helped me to understand the situation but actually they didn't help to get over and move on. I was still in that trap and looping, thinking over and over about all the things that has happened and so on. But what actually helps to get over and get myselfself back together and move on, are videos like these "How To Be Attractive" (confidence and being happy withyouself ) Most of the times I just stay to long into these situations, like thinking and analysing and feeling ( stucked ) What i need is to drop it and move on right away, like at same moment.
Cheers mate !
Appreciate your time and dedication.
In basic words, don't be a simp.
I love your videos so much Leo, thank you for making them.
You look like Lenin a bit, just imagined you in his clothes😮😮
after watching all of his videos :communism mastered !
I thought Anton La Vey 💀
@@squarepeg9484 same lol
This is a great video. I'm using it as a gauge to find out who I really am, where I'm at with my existence, where I want to go with my life and, what it takes for me to get there.
It is amazing what a break up has lead me to. Now I'm thankful to her, the amazing woman who had the guts to dump me. At 46 years of age and 6'4" tall, I am a grown man but... I have some more growing up to do. There is always room for improvement someone once said :-) Most of this, I've always known, I was simply distracted by the things that made up my comfort zone. I'm now dusting my self off, make sure I can walk again and, here I go !
Come across this guy in a stage of my life exactly when i needed it. A recent separation from a 16 year marriage, time for us both to find ourselves and be happy with us individually and maybe one day before its too late we will find each other again this time without losing ourselves.
I have a question for you Lio, you said that I need to be detached emotionally and physically, but it's impossible because if I'm detached so why do I need to be in a relationship in first place, it doesn't make sense to me !!!
I guess he's saying you don't need to be in any relationship. But it seems consistent with his philosophy to say that someone could add something to your life, without them being NECESSARY to it.
i love this segment as well, sorry for some of the ugly comments
i love this segment as well, sorry for some of the ugly comments
U can't wear your heart on your sleeve
You don’t have to chain something down in order for it stay. You don’t have to chain your emotions to a person for it to exist there.
if two parties need absolutely nothing from each other than wouldn't that eliminate the desire to be in a relationship altogether?
I do agree Jade. Important they happy with themselves firstly and they then getting further joy and pleasure from both giving and receiving.
agree
I understand what you mean but the root of desire shouldn't be powered by a sense of need, it's more so a want. There's a difference between wanting and needing - example, my lover doesn't need me to live, and i don't him...but do i WANT him? Without a doubt.
I don’t want to be attached to anyone right now...
Honestly, As a very attractive person who is complimented quite often.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE!
The other thing is that one must not only be physically attractive but, one must be mentally and spiritually attractive. Work on not just being physically attractive but, also being a good soul and spirit, from within. This is another deep part of attractiveness.
Leo is absolutely right here. I realised this a long time ago but the thing is...it is very very hard to do. We as humans need love and affection of others to fill that void in ourselves. To get to that level of complete self-sufficiency that Leo talks about requires tremendous and insurmountable effort that it is practically impossible unless you've reached enlightenment. Its idealistic thinking and simply unrealistic
I thought the same ! Sounds like he's describing the life of a monk 😂
Thank You. I'm working hard to get back to this. I used to be unattached. I lost it somehow. ❤✌
IamL Richelle has
Leo, I myself can't say I am completely fulfilled, for my life is still a working progress... Every aspect of my life, i am continually working on:self help each morning, my entrepreneurship to financial freedom, my spirituality w/ God much better, better relationships with my imediate family, i surround myself with real friends and priceless mentorship. I mean, I don't think I have Arrived... or be completely fulfilled at this point in my life but im definitely on my way. Does this mean, i shouldnt distract myself w/ getting caught up in the dating world until I reach my ideal fulfillment? :/
It all depends. Don't wait to be perfect. That day will never come.
Psalms Pabico Life is a journey not a destination.
Psalms Pabico The real question is should you put your progress on hold and would you want a man that wants that of you? I bet you know the answer. Love can work in weird ways. Just don't turn a blind eye.
Leo your fucking genius, this shit is really working!!!
What are your experiences?
I’m so happy he addressed both partners has to be on this same wave in order for this mindset to truly manifest because I’d been on both sides of the fence. And, can’t express how important it is the two people understand their individual happiness derive from themselves-never from the relationship itself or from the other person. I never noticed in my own life since coming into realization the guys who are needed, desperate etc., in most cases are unattractive to me. I can have one or two conversations and quickly see we are on opposites energy than it makes sense why they we never click to begin with. I have been by myself for a min and I’m loving it!
Brilliant... This concept is painful to internalize, but like anything else, Practice makes Perfect... And this is the most liberating state to live in once truly internalized... Detachment can be painful though. I guess, however, that with any growth comes discomfort.
I think, you mean that we need some dignity
When did Moby start making self help vids?
bahahaha
My problem is that I am confident, I believe in myself, etc I do not need people. but my partner won't love me openly and fully. and he dosent know why. it's like a wall is there and we don't know how to break that down. the only down side of me is that I get territorial. if another female or male hits on my significant other I immediately get agressive. I've always been this way, not sure why considering I love myself, I don't see it as jelous becuase I've been there as well. idk what I'm doing wrong.
Sounds like both of you are being dishonest. Look deeper. Be more self-honest.
If a guy is not willing the commit to you, it usually means you're just not the one and he's looking for someone better. Guys are simple in this regard.
you got to stop being jealous straight up , cause a women is going to do what she wants , when she wants and theres nothing you can do ,our job as a man is just be happy with our self and just keep her laughing at all times im not saying those silly ass jokes be confident and she will love you slow. it happen to me .
+Yumie Bear Jealousy is a sign of great insecurity and mistrust. Those two things, combined, can cause issues where you may not be opening yourself to him the way that communicates that you are confident with him in your life.
You need to be okay with letting him go (not saying he'll leave you, but you just have to be okay with the fact that you are just as happy without him as you are with him).
The more confidence you have in yourself and the less needy you come across, then he'll see you as more of a scarcity and open himself up to love you more.
Try it and you'll see that loving yourself more and being okay with a worst-case scenario is not that bad.
I used to be very insecure in this manner and no good can come from it in the end.
+Yumie Bear
You are insecure. If your man loves you, he will stick with you, you do not have to be territorial. You are just going to push your man away, do you think he needs you to protect him from other girls? You are just creating problems within yourself and your relationship.
+Yumie Bear If someone is used to have a dysfunctional relationship then a healthy one might actually be scary for that person on a subconsious level.
Talk to him about what kind of relationships he is used to (if he wants to talk about that) or about how you both see the ideal relationship and work at it step by step :)
advice from a cat with a hat so take it with a grain of salt :P
Omg I didn't know I was a needy person until now
and I'm not focusing on myself but on what I want from my partner
I'm here sitting in the couch alone watching you and I was thinking what I needed from my partner but you open my eyes. I don't need my partner to do everything for me or to be here with me 24/7 I need to build myself to build confidence to create a healthy environment for myself. to stop thinking on what's he's doing all the time but to start thinking on what to do for myself .
True. Sometimes. Being in a relationship is more stressful with disagreements also. If its goes south. The gravity will mess you up even more than before when you were lonely and single.leaving you more devastated
Good mental food....I will work on this and understand it takes time...
Why am i taking love advices from an alien at 4 AM
lol
dude that's though
🤣🤣🤣🤣
OMG
Lmao
Absolutely loooooooooooove this, agree on everything! New sub :)
Welcome :)
Man! I am the exact counter-example you are talking about. Thanks for this amazing lecture! I get much less confused about my unsuccessful relationship and my unpleasant life after watching it! You are my mentor.
Hey Leo, just wanted to thank you. Because of your videos my mind opened up about 3years ago. Because of you i learned to meditate and changed many ways. Thanks bro!!! Thanks for help the ones in need.