The Ouroboros of Grief: A Video Essay
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
- Time sneaks up on me a lot. This took a while to untangle and even longer to retangle into something that made sense.
//CW: death, grief, suicide/hanging
//Spoilers for: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, The Haunting of Hill House, The Haunting of Bly Manor
//Listen to "I am in Eskew" here: www.iamineskew... or on spotify.
It's an excellent podcast about a spooky town that loves and hates it's narrator in equal measure and how they are aware of and react to each other.
//Find me at:
Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/hone...
Tumblr: / smolhoneybat
Twitch: / smolhoneybat
"But, you exist here" as soon as you said grief is non linear I knew exactly what you were talking about
I really appreciate that every time you're talking about a concept, even when you're not discussing directly what happens in a scene, you have a relevant scene right there, with subtitles. Essentially, you can follow two different threads watching the video: what you say and what the "background" characters say.
Thanks!! It's part of why video editing takes me so long, because I always want something that feels completely relevant, even if it's not from the show I'm talking about haha
It is criminal how underrated this channel is
Thank you! That's really sweet of you ^.^
I find myself returning to this video frequently. I've watched it several times, and despite continually mulling over it for many months now, I still gain a new insight and perspective with each watch. This is by far one of my favourite video essays/analysis that i have ever watched, alongside your work on the horrors of feminity, pregnancy, and its ties to the Fromsoft game, Bloodborne. This video succinctly and eloquently discusses various concepts I've pondered for many years in ways that I could not effectively put into words.
I've had a.... Particularly traumatic life in many different ways. Countless therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and mental health professionals alike have repeatedly rejected me as a patient because I am simply too much for them, even with their professional knowledgeable on human nature and psychology. I need so much help that those who have dedicated their lives to helping others are simply ill-equipped to help. This video has been exceptionally validating, and has provided me multiple new ways to process and think of my excessive trauma, the neverending weight that said trauma puts on my conscious, and how it effects the ways i navigate the human experience. This has genuinely changed my life in ways I could not predict.
Thank you.
This is a shockingly under-watched video! I found this through your bloodborne video, and love your work. The editing, analysis and presentation are incredible - I hope you find success in whatever you do!
Thank you! I really appreciate it ^.^
DS9 was so ahead of its time in how it dealt with many of these issues. And it's interesting to see more modern shows like Dark, Undone, and Russian Doll taking those ideas, either intentionally or unintentionally, and doing more with them.
"is it not human to fuck around and find out" I'm stealing this
Hi there! I've just recently found your channel and I'm really amazed by your video essays. I truly find them insightful and simply a treat to watch. I think I'll return here many times...
Thank you so much!!
The ENDING of this video. Very nicely done
Thanks!! Time loops helping a person grow from their suffering is definitely a favourite trope of mine ^.^ While this video is obviously meant seriously, filming that opening/ending section meant I just had "brøther, may I have some lööps" in my head the whole time
A half hour of a lady in a mask and wig gushing about how much she loves star trek deep space nine?
COUNT ME IN!! Heck yeah!
DS9 is definitely my favourite trek!! I will never shut up about it hahaha
I too am new, brought to your channel from the Bloodborne video. As someone who has experienced a lot of grief in their life, this video is beautiful and spot on.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you! I'm glad this resonated with you, even if not for the happiest reason 💛
Ah... yet another masterful video.
I feel an especially strong connection to this one because recently, I had a death in my family. The whole "existing in this moment" message doesn't fully apply, but I do feel my mind drawn to it again and again. It's nothing I've really put much thought into, but having put pen to paper, metaphorically speaking, I feel like you've done an excellent job of making me think about it in a way I never have, and likely never would have done before.
Thank you. I expect I'll still need a while to properly process it, but this has, I feel, helped. So, again, thank you.
Take care, and have a nice day.
(P.S. Happy to have a [Silco] plushie cameo!)
Hi! Lovely to see you back here ^.^
I'm so sorry for your loss. It'll take time, but I'm glad there were some new ideas in this that might have helped a little bit. Look after yourself and I hope the worst passes quickly 💛
i cried to this video. a lot. thank you for everything you do. i wish this video received more attention, it absolutely deserves it.
Absolutely beautiful, funny and feel-good video. Sobbed like a baby while doing dishes.
Synching Sisko and the Prohpets to the temple of time theme from OOT was 👌
Thank you! I tried out various versions from different games but that one seemed to synch really well haha
Never been interested in Star Trek, in the slightest.
Yet I was entranced, amazing video! And your choice of music is top notch lol
Well put. You've simultaneously helped me understand grief and motivated me to watch through DS9/Hill House again.
I can tell how much thought you put into this video. I stumbled upon it at 2am the other night but I felt compelled to watch it again the next day.
Many thanks!
Thank you so much! I'm really glad it resonated with you ^.^
It's always interesting when someone recounts their recollection of something, especially something you saw just recently, and they're re-written a whole bunch of the background and narrative how they remember it from the last time they watched it, which includes a whole bunch of their own inventions like this idea of Sisko having previously been on some kind of station at Wolf 359 that was imagined here, rather than first officer on a ship, the Saratoga, and the false inferences and comparisons that are generated by those false memories.
It's kind of appropriate, given a video talking about how we remember things.
Jenny Nicholson had it recently, when halfway through discussing Soylent Green, she seems to start conflating it with To Serve Man, which makes sense I suppose, given the similar thematic matter of them, and begins talking about the aliens in soylent green and how that relates to the central narrative concept and you're just sitting there very confused as a viewer like the first time someone talked about their recollections of Mandela dying in the 1980s.
Ok fine I'll watch that episode off DS9 again. (Also that episode really hit me in the feels. I knew that the prophets werent the ones torturing Sisko with the memories and he's the one leading them around in his mind but it still hits so hard when its revealed to him) Also that bat plush's face reenacting the scene is priceless. Also where do I get that bat
this video is what convinced me to watch DS9 - ive had it recommended to me since forever but avoided it. Felt like too big a commitment - and now its slowly becoming one of my favorite shows :) thank you
Oh my GOD, someone else who listens to I Am In Eskew!!
I love that podcast so much, I fall asleep listening to a random episode every single night. I think it's genuinely a masterpiece.
I LOVE ESKEW!! There's something about the town/house being Aware and wanting to keep you because it loves you, hates you or it can't bear to let you go that's so fascinating to me. That line David says where he asks "how long you can listen to this and not help me?" cemented it as one of my favourite stories. I'm so picky about podcasts but Eskew and Mabel are two top "haunted locations that will not let go" stories.
@@HoneyBat Absolutely, intelligent locations are a captivating idea. It's why I liked the Haunting of Hill House (the book, show was good too though). I, too, am picky about podcasts but if you haven't already you should listen to the Silt Verses by the same people. First season is a little rough in the sound design department but it plays with and explores some REALLY interesting ideas.
Anyway I'm just so excited to see someone else talk about Eskew, it's underrated as hell and really thoughtful and haunting.
I lovelovelove the DS9 episode The Visitor because I feel that it explores so many of the same themes. Jake's always pulled back to the moment Sisko disappeared from his life, over and over again, that he couldn't move on from it.
The thing that always messed with my head with that episode was, does Sisko remember what happened to his son because of his grief? That must be such a terrifying thought for a parent to grapple with.
Fascinating video, fantastic channel.
I've not been able to directly confront my grief, nearly a decade later, but even in turning away from that event, I exist there-perhaps even more strongly
I'm sorry it's been difficult for you. Grief is so hard to talk about, express or sometimes even think about without wanting to turn away and distract; I hope this made it even a tiny bit easier to think about. Thank you for watching and I wish you all the best 💛
@@HoneyBat It did help :)
It has been a few years since the most impactful death of a loved one happened to me. It was a terrible time in my life and the pain eased with time, or so I thought. It's not that the pain is any less, just less frequently thought about. I still miss them and always will, the grief will never leave, but neither will the memories or love I have for them. As you say in your video. Grief is nonlinear.
Another excellent thought provoking video, thank you
This completely opened my mind to how I perceive memories and those moments of being 'lost' in ones head, whether it be in past/future events, ones own fantasies or even deep thinks into mechanical matters such as a math equation. This is a really valuable video I will be returning to and introducing to others constantly. Thank you.
Thank you! There was something about the whole "It is not linear" that would never leave my head. It really reminded me of a book I read (and reread every year or two) called Just in Case by Meg Rosoff. A boy is convinced that Fate is out to get him so he changes his name and appearence to hide, and he imagines a greyhound to keep him company. This is all well and good until one of his classmates can somehow also see the dog? Reality gets a bit wobbly round him and said classmate is very good at physics but he talks about time going in circles down a funnel and events not lining up across different mathematical axes of time!
i fr yelled in glee when you brought up [I am in Eskew] its one of my favorites and its nice to see people talking about horror podcasts that aren't TMA ,even thought I love that one to. Great work as always, have a good day!
What a powerful video essay. Really good stuff.
This is my new favorite channel I've discovered
I never knew that tears had different chemical qualities based on their emotions.
This was a fantastic analysis on grief and Deep Space Nine. Lovely
Also, this reminds me of one of my favorite video game stories: Legacy of Kain.
If you havent heard of it, please look up the story of Raziel. It involves the Ouroborous, time travel, and grief.
Thank you!! What a messed up episode to have for a pilot episode haha. And I've heard of Legacy of Kain but never played but if there's story like that I definitely have to check it out ^.^
DS9 has one of the best pilots episodes.
Watching this video is helping me sort through my own screwed up feelings. Thank you so much for this.
This is awesome! Such an amazing video essay. I love DS9 and how you used it to explain all of this! It’s the perfect show to depict the nature of humanity!
The concept of linearity is one we all have to live with and yet we explore in our minds moments and memories considering alternative outcomes to our actions. It sucks to know I can’t change things, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change how I view things or try to change the circumstances. I can’t decide if time being non linear would make decisions easier or harder to make.
P.s. Thanks for putting so much effort in to your videos. I loved the snippets from Rule of Rose
Thank you!! I love how much Ben gets to grow over the show. I used to freak out about how locked in everything I did was, about how many options I was cutting myself off from whether from my choice or inaction, but really people are just building with whatever they have wherever they go and I really like that. I think it's easy to get caught up in what ifs but it's also kinda freeing that whatever happens, there's always going to be another path.
(also one day, ONE DAY, I will cover Rule of Rose but I have so so much to say about it hahaha)
Star Trek, Martial Arts, Zelda, Hollow Knight, Soulsbourne, a genuine exploration of grief, AND a Jelly Cat bat thespian? Sub.
(TW: animal death)
I know it's not the same has having a human family member die, but we recently had to have our cat put down after only having him for a couple years. He looked and acted perfectly healthy but he had human-transmittable tuberculosis, so despite how healthy he seemed, treatment would have been long, hard and potentially dangerous to all of us.
I've had to go through the deaths of other pets before, but that was normally after they had lived long, happy lives with us, they were old and sick and it was the kinder option. It was a long time coming and that helped ease a very sad time.
This was different though - it was sudden, unexpected and we lived with him for that last day, seeing him so alive, knowing that tomorrow he would be gone. Even the day of the procedure he disappeared for a while outside and it was my training that I'd done with him that lured him back. It was devastating to see him so attentive and alive whilst knowing what would happen only a few hours later. It felt unfair and cruel.
It's been a few weeks now and life has continued on, but it still feels like he's here sometimes. I expect him to be hiding around a corner, just out of sight, or I'll open my bedroom door and he'll be splayed out in some weird position like the idiot he was.
He is my wish, and I exist there still
I'm sorry you had to through that. Even though there was good reason in preventing suffering and potential harm to the rest of your family, it still hurts, especially with the suddeness and the cat still appearing healthy. That's got to have been incredibly difficult both to happen and now to process. Thank you for sharing, and I hope the grief passes quickly but the good memories stay 💛
@@HoneyBat Thank you so much. It's been really hard but we're all trying to move on in a healthy way. We still talk about him and, even if it still hurts sometimes, the memories are good ones
This channel is awesome. Nothing more metal than serious and thoughtful discussions about tragedy and trauma. 🤘 Just finished the Bloodborne video and I'm gonna go through the catalogue. You've got a new sub, Honey Bat. 😁
the bats .. i loved it
Thank you hahaha RUclips would NOT let me have that scene, this video got copyright removed so so soooo many times so I kept cutting things shorter and shorter but that once scene I really wanted unbroken, so...bats! I accidentally deleted the layer with text that said it was due to copyright so it's just kind of there now oops
@@HoneyBat i realized that after watching some other vids of yours but i'm glad i saw this first!
i love the bat plushie re-enactments and knowing it's kind of a middle-finger ..err.. whatever you call that British two-finger salute .. to copyright makes it even more enjoyable
excelsior!
I think now is as good a time as any to reach to the mirror in John Green's video about auld lang syne
As I get to the end of this video I think 'we're here because we're here because we're here because we're here'
great work as always.
I gotta watch star trek if anything else i got from this and really love how you relate so many emotions from shows and movies so deeply. I don't think i could have ever be compelled to watch something any better then someone sows two threads (fiction and reality) into one as beautifully as you do with an over arching theme as difficult as grief.
also any particular order i should get started with it?
Each series is self contained and distinct from each other, so I'd really recommend you just start with Deep Space Nine.
Thank you so much!! I've only watched DS9 and am working my way through Voyager right now and really enjoying it! I tried to watch The Next Generation but I just couldn't get on with it, I only kept going for three seasons because of Data haha. Deep Space 9 was my first Star Trek and I absolutely fell in love with it so I think that's a good starting point, especially if you liked this video. And Kira is a massive favourite of mine too! And Chief O'Brien, he's an engineer and he's so good humoured and unlucky. There's a couple of characters that crossover two series, like O'Brien was originally from the TNG series but you really don't need to know anything about the other ones as you miss nothing, they all go through their own developments during DS9 ^.^
@@VixieliciousRoger.
@@HoneyBat I'll keep that in mind, but might as well binge watch it if I get hooked (which I think I really might Caz you got me tempted) .
Though it be wise if I hold off till I am done with A levels. These shows aired before I was even born but that didn't stop me from loving MacGyver (don't ask me how I watch it) I am at season 5 ig.
1993, it sure looked older. got my hands on them. thanks for recommendation. and as always- I await for them honey.
@@HoneyBat and yes, I did indeed love it.
With your example of the haunted house, theirs something I've picked up on over the years, Metal and Objects absorb the energy of the people who lived in them and use them, and can transfer it over to others, such as an object being cursed, or being of good luck to a person
like you can actually feel it sometimes with old objects and items, like this weird feeling it gives off
and theirs actually even a quantifiable example I've come across with one of the crew members of the Edmound Fitzgerald, his car of all things, when he passed on he had a very happy life, loving wife, that was his high school sweethear and was doing well, and he had the feeling that something would happen to him that was to make him world famous
and it did that and that car transfered that energy to its next owner who got married by chance to his girlfriend from highschool and the like, and is now happy, without the negative, as his spirit was that of a positive one
like theirs a reason why with objects and places theirs this inherent energy they give off, some are terrible, some are great
which is kind of why in that example of them destroying the home would have been the smart thing to do, as that very much IS the place causing the problem
hell places like that in and around the time they were told had very questionable health and safety codes to say the least, hence why so many homes carried a negative energy given the suffering they would give off
and another thing behind DS9 and the energy it would give off is it used to be a place of fear and paranoia, now turned into something good
hence Sisko's attitude to the place, and also Sisko and the crew were spared by Picard, its something you dont pick up on till you see when the Saratoga gets it, a ship, not a space station, which he keeps a model of eventually in his ready room by the time worf joins the cast, he waits for the people to leave'
its why he resents picard as much as he does, he let him live, but his wife dying onboard was very much on starfleet, far more so than picard
as what stupid starfleet leaves the kids and wife on a ship in the middle of a combat action instead of having them offloaded at the nearest star base
like its his duty to starfleet that causes him his pain, hence why he wants to get out of that uniform as much as possible
and why after the attack he spent the next three years building a ship ment purely for revenge, that then gets used in the dominion war to protect Bajor and the space station
kind of poetic really, and its funny that that was left in even at the start even though the defiant only came about in season 3
Did you just use stuffed animals to portray one of the most emotional scenes in DS9?
Respecc
Will you do rule of rose? i really liked your nier and bloodborne analysis, I've watched all the vids even the cat lady, you're really good at explanation
Bat mentioned on her stream that her next video features Rule of Rose!
'Time heals all wounds, unless YOU BETRAYED YOUR UNIF0RM!!!!!!!!'
Amazing video. Keep it up ❤
Thank you!
Thank you for watching! I'm really happy you liked it ^.^
Great video!
Thank you!! ^.^
Today is a good day to cry T_T
Yeah. That's a new subscriber for you.
I see you, ff9
Subbed.
Thank you!! I'm really glad you liked it
You piece of shit, the ending was spectacular 😂😂
Great video!
Anyone know the song that starts playing around 7:00??
It's from the game Ib. I think the track is Puppet? Bat has a video on ib also.