I caught that too..I busted him too..but was just to mess with Markee!.. Sorry Markee!🤣 men will never get that n apparently thinks 8 Oz n 8 pds are the same with babies.
Her husband refused to listen to his wife, over his best friend, and only believed her after she had to post it online? Oh, and told her she was faking it, refused to answer her calls knowing she was about to pop… he was toxic, misogynistic, refused to listen to her, even kicked her out the home? Man, I’d straight up leave WTF
Buuutt She said the Dr told her she wasn't due for. . . Like umm duh due date is not a sure thing. Baby could come like a month before or a month after the due date. He should have known that something could be happening.
My mom was a full time mother and my father still did chores around the house. There was no way to provide childcare for 2 kids, and keep a small house immaculate with 4 then 5 people in it. It's weird that people assume that the OP's house is the same size as theirs or that the kid can be left alone.
@@Kimberly_Sparklesyea there is! I work full time and have 3 kids. It’s absolutely possible but your generation is extremely lazy. It’s a part of life. She literally has all day to do Jack shit. If you maintain your job, as a “stay at home mom” should, it should take an hour tops to pick up the house. Kids are at school half the day. It’s pure laziness and she wants a free ride. While he busts his ass working two jobs. I’m sorry your parents struggled but I’m a 41 year old woman that was able to just fine! Along with every other mother I know.
How does the uncle not being able to pay for his nephews collage make him the A-Hole? Is he supposed to be flat broke and pay for college? And even if he gave the parents permission not to save, they had a responsibility to put something, even a little aside for their kid. Even if it were a few hundred. The entire situation is unfortunate, but that's life. Unforseen things happen.
Why is a student loan out of the question? Repaying a student loan can an expensive and lengthy commitment but it will not kill a person. That’s what the majority are actually doing. Why don’t the parents have the capacity to understand that life can throw all manner of changes at you. They expect understanding for their financial position but lack any for the uncle’s unfortunate financial circumstances.
I never let me nieces beat me in any competition. They would get mad. But now when they beat me, they so excited & talk about it for days. Not bully but excited. I respond “I know! That’s awesome.”
For the one about the new girlfriend deleting the dead wife's photos...screw that, and screw her. Press charges or file a civil suit if that's not possible. I made the mistake of lending my ex a cd of photos (this was 13 years ago) of our son that had died (over 400 photos) and I never got it back. I now only have maybe 25 pictures of him and I still feel sick when I think about it. That stuff matters. I hope they break up with that person at the bare minimum.
I'm going to say they are both the a hole, he shouldn't have to work 2 jobs, and she shouldn't be solely responsible for the baby and house. she probably thinks about how he gets breaks at work while she doesn't, and he sees her get to stay home while he doesn't. they should both work, they need to have one work 1st shift and one work 2nd or 3rd. then they share the chores and child care.
Cheating brother. WELL ACTUALLY, you can forbid your brother from coming to the wedding. It is you and your spouses wedding. Only you two get to make decisions about it (well unless someone else is paying, then yes, they get a say...always pay for your own).
Who wants 5 extra people staying in your home? especially if you don't know 3 of them .. I think the sister is being very entitled that it's ok to mooch off her sister with her multiple partners .. Jeepers .. .. I back OP on this one ..
@Boa-Noah it’s weird cause the sister is trying to force her poly relationship on her family. Like of course OP doesn’t want your weird kinks in her home.
And worse still one of those people isn’t involved with the sister, they’re coming along by being OPs sisters new partners partner! So they’re not even connected to OPs sister at all!
About the poly sister wanting to visit. The problem isn’t that she’s poly, that’s fine, it’s that she want to bring three other people with short notice!
When I was a kid, pre 911 and got to see the cockpit, flew with my family of 7. The one flight airline changed our tickets so no two seats were together. My mom tried to get people to switch so she could sit with my 2 yo sister. Finally she just handed someone her car seat and asked them to buckle it in so she could put my sis in. Guy noped out real quick and they sat together.
Serious question. I have a friend who is bipolar and is taking meds, but coukdnt spend the night because they didnt have their meds. I was confused , as I thought it would be okay if they just took them the bext morning. Do you really have to take them right on time and have alot of problems if you dont ?
@@hwiley8141 I'm pretty sure it's different for everyone but with me it takes about 2 days of me not taking my medicine to start spiraling and my mood becomes pretty much irratic.
@@hwiley8141 also I've been on multiple different medicications for my disorder and some of them are best taken at night before bed because they can make you tired/drowsy.
@@wubbalubbadabdab420 Thanks. I know my friend has struggled with this in the past. They have been in hospital 5 or 6 times. Not depression, but mania, with psychotic breaks. Scary stuff. I am not saying they dont need meds, but I think that part of the reason the dont want to miss a dose , at all, is they really dont want to relapse. Either that or they really dont like my cat. Stay well, and safe.
@@hwiley8141 no problem and yeah it makes sense I also have social anxiety and I've never really liked staying over people's houses even my close family, ig it just made me really anxious and my house/room has always been my safe space but stay safe hope I could be of help.
For the OP not paying for his nephew's college: please think about sending him to the local community college for his first two years, you should be able to fund that. Maybe in two years you will be in a financial position to fund him finishing up at a state university. Don't pull the rug out from under him.
Erased deceased wife's pictures. Dude just dodged a huge Red flag! That level of attempted control is only a harbinger of bad things to come. Hope OP got his pics back.
Okay, for the story with the mom who was mad about her SIL putting OP and her daughter’s faces on social media. I feel like I have a unique perspective on this situation because I grew up being that child. I was traumatized by mother and friends at a very young age. Because of this, full custody was awarded to my father and we lived with my paternal grandparents. They were extremely protective of me after that because I had experienced things no child should ever go through. If there were TV appearances or photos that would be made public (this was before social media was really a thing, I was not allowed to participate because my family didn’t want my mother or those connected to her to have access to where I went to school. This has carried over into my adult life. My name is not linked to any of my accounts for this purpose specifically...except my LinkdIn. I knew if I left open any avenue linked to my name, someone would find me and try to make contact. This is exactly what happened. My half sister ended up finding and speaking to me through my LinkedIn. So yeah, if somebody really wants to find you, they will look for any shred of you there is. That OP gets a NTA from me.
I can't stand people who act like antidepressants are some sort of evil conspiracy. Depression is a real, physical illness. I'm part of the permaculture community, and a lot of them act like going outside more is the cure to the chemical imbalance in your brain. It makes no sense. Sure, activities like exercise, gardening, meditation, etc. can help with depression, but medications are an absolutely crucial contribution to living with depression. My medications made such an amazing difference in my life. I was sleeping 14+ hours a day, crying all my waking hours, compulsively feeling suicidal and thinking only of death, and falling apart physically. I had stomach problems, could barely eat without getting nauseous, horrible "dizzy spells" that were similar to having a seizure, this odd numbness in my arms and legs, etc. I thought I had MS because the symptoms were so similar. Now, all of these symptoms aren't gone completely, but I'm so much more functional, I barely cry at all, my physical problems are gone, and I'm no longer suicidal. So please don't tell me that depression is all in your head, or that medication for it is somehow fake. Disgusting, unhelpful attitude.
My only complaint about ANY medication for mental health is that sometimes it can make things worse- but going outside is not the cure. Whilst I'm not diagnosed with anything but PTSD, I myself struggle getting up and living. My only help is paranoia medicine. I'm not paranoid anymore except for every blue moon. I've just given up, yet I still go out most days. It barely helps with anything but my physical health.
Mmmmmmm no, the guy not paying for college is NTA. You can’t expect him to just pay as if he didn’t just lose his income completely. I get that he promised, but those were under the expectation that we weren’t going to go through the largest unemployment event in American history. The fact that he still wishes to help is enough reason for a NTA judgement.
@@debhufnagel5912 this is my preferred division of household labour. I personally, wouldn't have an issue with thing like the yard, and dishes when she cooks. But grocery shopping, no. She has time during the week to go grocery shopping. I would get upset if that landed on my 'honey-do' list after I worked 80 hours a week.
@@debhufnagel5912 I don't like the, I can see my friends, but you can't. I personally think they are headed for divorce because she is too controlling. She asked to be a mom at home when she had a baby, giving up her job. That's a tough road to hoe if you haven't planned ahead for that. I would like to live a life like that, but we'd have the date nights (which would be kidless), and the time with friends, for both of us. I don't have an issue with her spending time with friends, but I also expect that I should be able to go out with the boys once in awhile too.
@@Benkenobi8118 she could always go get a work at home job. And there's always grocery delivery. Then she could hire someone to watch her LO. And they'd both be able to do whatever.
Our “period panicked prick” doesn’t realize his mommy washed her own (possibly sisters) & his clothes together all his first 18 years! This ding-dong may need therapy, if he realizes that fact. 🤦🏻♀️😂😂😂😂😂
Im a woman too and I agree with you. Taking care of the kids and the house is a job just like any other job. If the husband and wife are each working other jobs then they should share that job. If Op was working just one job then I would say he should help some. She shouldnt be on call 24/7 while he only works one shift. But Op is working two jobs. Basicly hes working her shift so she can stay home. And iMO hes off the hook for the day to day stuff. He does need to step up for extras.
@thatoneguy9816 ... she was being a mom, she probably wants a break.. like he gets breaks at work, they both should work 1 job and share childcare and house duties. 1 can work 1st or 2nd and the other can work 2nd or 3rd.
Do we really have to freak out grieve and be devastated because the idea of someone else's child is no more? That sounds pretty unfair. The OP was In my opinion only morally obligated to feel bad for the sister which he did.
Exactly my thoughts. From the sounds of the story, the sister kept saying she truly felt bad, and didn’t say anything past that, until being pushed more and more. She kept saying “it must be hard, I’m so sorry you went through that,” but I know that if my sister told me what happened, I’d hug her and do what I could to comfort her, but I wouldn’t be up-in-arms as if it was my own child. If it were my wife, and my child, yes, I’d be DEVASTATED, but wouldn’t expect anyone else to be as hurt as me or my wife would be. It’s not a “lack of empathy,” it’s a lack of the same level of emotional attachment to it. Someone close to my best friend dies, I’m heartbroken for him. Someone close to me dies, I’d expect him to be there for me just the same. I wouldn’t expect him to be just as upset as me over a family member dying, though, and I know that’s a bit different, but not too far off I don’t think. TLDR: It’s a niece/nephew you never got to meet, whereas for them, it was their child that they carried for X amount of time. They were literally inseparable. NTA, there wasn’t a lack of empathy, there just wasn’t as much invested emotionally for them as there was for the mother.
In regards to the young woman who gets scared because of the football game screaming and yelling, it's possible that we don't have the whole story there and she could have PTSD and that could be what triggers it. PTSD is most common in women and children who suffer from abuse/trauma as well as soldiers.
I thought of that too. But then why would stay ? Both my mom and my dad had ptsd ( in mild forms ). Mom didnt like us having baloons. You know that thing where you bow it up, and slowly let the air out and it makes a "whhhheeee" sound ? Apparently that is exactly what bombs falling sound like. Neither of them liked fireworks. So we would leave fairs before the fireworks started.
Except for all her previous behaviour indicates that it’s much more likely she is doing this for control/attention plus she had already sat through multiple games so I’m sure would be aware shouting and screaming is par for the course yet refuses to remove herself from the situation.
I was thinking about the stay at home mother. Working 2 jobs leaves you with just a few hours of sleep, eat, and get ready for work. I think it is a lack of insight on both sides of how the other one thinks or feels. She could walk a month or two in his shoes. Running a home and raising a family at home is a job in itself. A big job. But she gets to stay at home and be with her kids. In my eyes that is a huge blessing.
2:54:00 This reminds me way too much of my failed marriage. I felt like I was constantly at fault for his bad moods, because he would always act "off" around me, yet he REFUSED to talk about it, ever. But then if I made him upset or asked him if I'd done anything wrong just like OP did, he'd withhold affection too, and like....how ELSE am I supposed to feel when he did that? Of course I always felt insecure and that I had done something wrong! Then I'd get blamed for it again and again and told "you're the reason I don't ever communicate". Just. Like. This guy. That's kinda gaslighty, isn't it? Maybe only mildly so, but still. Withholding affection and just tearing himself away like that is a form of emotional neglect, and it becomes outright emotional abuse if it's done frequently. When one partner is trying to physically connect with someone for comfort and reassurance, and is met with not only harsh rejection but such cold disdain, that partner will inevitably feel insecure and therefore needier, which creates a feedback loop that builds resentment and bitterness, made ten times worse by the man's refusal to ever discuss his feelings. Obviously I can't judge based on one reddit post, but it sounds like she's in a similar situation I was in, and if that's the case, my heart goes out to her because she's not in a healthy marriage at all.
About the first story, it is unfair of the wife to expect her dh to do chores she should be doing considering him working 2 jobs. Her choice to be sahm. Having said that, being home full time with little kids without a break can also be unhealthy mentally. I have been there and simply needed adult conversations which took my dh a long time to grasp as he had this at work. Listening to little kids all day can be very draining without a break every now and then!! Not necessarily a night out every week but occassionally. Both partners need a break - her from being with little kids 24/7 and him from stress of working so many hours. Everyone needs some "me" time with the stresses of everyday life just to survive without going stir crazy or getting sick.
Most bar owners, that I know of, frown on SO's staying there for any length of time. She might have gotten in trouble with her boss if she had given her boyfriend too much attention.
In a healthy relationship. My husband is first & then my kids. He is a good man & would not put us in a hard position. But this is healthy too. Because it teaches children importance of commitment. Some people hold kids like an idol & struggle letting them grow up.
right! not to mention they have kids, bringing unplanned people (especially strangers ) into your home could cause stress (my sister and i get so stressed when strangers come he feel bad about eating in our own home without asking) ntm the pandemic and the risks it could have on a childs system (I also just wouldn't want strangers near my kids but thats just me)
When she wanted to be a SAHM she should have make a deal where they rotate to have a break and find a choice for babysitting in order to go out together once in a while. I think she read that book but didn't make a list with all the responsabilities that would get till she goes back to work. It isn't healthy for neither of them to work 2 jobs and to be a SAHM 24hours even if they share childcare, both need time for themselves and mental health.
@playlist_8840 I agree, I think she didn't realize how isolated she would feel, how much doing everything at home and having no one all day would feel. He probably didn't know how tired working 2 jobs would be either. He doesn't see how tired, lonely and isolated she is and she doesn't see how physically tired he is.
the story with the sister: NTA....She is entitled to her feelings. death happens. we all know pregnancies are complicated and it happens EVERYDAY. everyone else are the AH for this behavior. Sorry Im in OPs side eta: I would have said the same thing poster said so yeah.
Flatmate taking the meds: What the actual heck? You've known this girl for less than (or about) 1 month and decide you know better than their Dr as far as what's good for them? Making someone go off their meds, even "weaning" is very dangerous. Take it from someone who now has some pretty fun health issues due to quiting my medicine cold turkey about 5 years ago. (I was broke, no insurance and couldn't afford $300 usd for 1 month of my meds so I didn't have much choice.) My husband, who had just started dating me at the time (thankfully we were friends prior to so he knew how I was acting while coming off them was not me at all) and I was so horrid. Not abusive but just hard to be around. I was moody, I spent probably about 3 months crying and would hide myself away from him and everyone else. I just had no life in me at the time. I got depressed and almost ended up in the hospital, twice. I'm much better now and have found ways to handle my anxiety most of the time. And when I can't handle it, I tell my hubby and he gives me the space or support I need. (No idea how he knows how to help because I can't even tell what I need during those times)
Story 2, I feel like the fiance was at an absolute bare minimum having an emotional affair with the friend, he had ZERO care about what she had to say, and when alone with that person rejected her call... Yea no, he doesn't deserve the time of day
2 jobs...totally forgetting he shares watching the child. One of his issues is she wants him to take the child for entire evenings when she's also complaining he's not doing housework, not that he doesn't want to help with child care
With the six yr old niece who thinks she’s faster… a mom must teach their child to win and lose with grace. I know that’s a mess in this world of participation trophies. If they don’t learn to handle losing, they’ll give up later on in life as soon as things get hard.
I think being super friendly with customers may be her way of getting more tips hell what does that matter. Its her life. Also not to mention you could have gotten her fired
poly party: so sister expects OP to accommodate 5 additional adults for two months ... and to provide food and all domestic services ... and probably chauffeur services - free of charge? And to pay for all the extra utilities they'll be using? I didn't notice any mention of any money being handed over to help ease the burden. Even apart from their lifestyle, even apart from having children in the house, strangers staying in my home during a pandemic would get a very firm Nope from me. Markee's comment about them using a hotel - ah, but then they'd have to pay for it, and pay more than a token amount.
"Hey, you wanted to be a stay at home mom, please fulfill the responsibilities of being a stay at home mom." "REEEEEEE TOXIC MASCULINITYYYYYYY!" -Story 1 in a nutshell
@Erin Bliss Her work is the running of the household, she is responsible for the cooking, cleaning, shopping. When he gets home they both take responsibility of the child - but if he is doing 16 hour days (2x fulltime jobs) then her day should also be 16 hours right.... OR she could work part time/full time child can go into care and they can do a 50/50 split of the household chores. She is blaming her own decision on his toxic masculinity. She wants the cake and eat it too..... OH and for the record I have done the full 12mth maternity leave and returned part time to my husbands full time, with a higher needs child. I have another on the way and will take another year of maternity leave. I take on the bulk of the household running, and childcare. I do know what taking care of a child is like, and not just a child but a high needs behavioural child.
first one - NTA, that was the arrangement they worked out. I get being frustrated that she has no life outside of the house and her baby, and i think a night off or two every now and then so she can see her friends would be great, but he should get those too. Also, I know 'toxic masculinity' is a trigger word for some people and some people don't think it exists, I think it does exist, but that's not what is happening here, and over-using the term in situations where it is not applicable just muddies the waters. They mutually decided this, sounds like her more than him, actually, what the situation would be, he never forced this on her, he's not expecting it just because that's what guys do or anything. the one with the sister that miscarried, also NTA. I don't think a disingenuous performance of grief she doesn't feel is necessary. She did feel empathy for her sister, I think she did understand what her sister was feeling, and didn't begrudge her that or anything. But that doesn't mean she has to be tremendously saddened herself for a miscarried baby she had very little connection to. And she never came out to say she wasn't really feeling any strong emotions about it until pressed about it, at which point she was just being honest. This wasn't her pregnancy, she has no reason to feel the same amount of grief over a miscarriage as her sister and to a lesser extent her mother. She can support their grief without feeling it herself. But I don't think she should feel obligated to lie that she is feeling something she isn't.
I think it’s bullshit making OP work two jobs just because she wants to stay home with her kid. And then she goes and complains about having to do exactly what she promised? She’s extremely selfish and I feel bad for OP that he is stuck with someone like that.
OPs twin sister could have PCOS. It took years for mine to get diagnosed, and sadly it comes with plenty sexism from other women and medical professionals.
About the guy racing his niece, my 9 year old kept beating his uncle and dad in yugioh and...was a really sore winner about it. Like, he'd have a clear shot to victory and still build his monsters and stall until he could do a full wipe for no reason and then brag and brag. Well. I used to play in tournaments. So I completely trashed him a few times and explained why what he was doing was wrong. So uh. He doesn't do that anymore. Kids need to learn.
OP, next time your wife locks you out; call the non-emergency line of the police station. It is illegal for a spouse to deny access to your shared marital home. Let's see how funny she thinks it is then (and she can't say you "abandoned her."
One year late: I went back and found the post. Never updated and OP only commented 4 times: once to try and say they're not the same person because they have different careers and defending her sister for not putting her child first, another so say they "probably shouldn't say that anymore" when asked why tf they'd say that to their families, and another to say op doesn't think they can ever put someone above her sis. Goddamn these parents really fcked up not making sure these two developed separate personalities
My ex and I were married for 5 years before our daughter was born. I stayed home the first 2 years. My job was the home. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping (he sat in the car outside while I took our daughter in with me) I also paid the bills. That was my job while he worked. I had no problem with the arrangement. The problems started when I went back to work full time. I still did everything. I would break down about once every 6 months with the stress. He would clean the bathroom once then it went back and I did everything again. Sadly I put up with it for 17 years. I was in another long term relationship (he passed 10 years ago/we never lived together). I will never get married again.
NTA she shouldn't have posted it in the first place, sil damn well knew she didn't want her daughter posted on the Internet and took precautions for it.
My husband is my number one. And the reason that is is that my children are going to grow up and have relationships of their own and those persons they put number one in my life are no longer there.
So glad I found your channel. I don't usually enjoy 'Reddit content' very much, but the way you present it is so genuine and different. I find myself so submerged in the stories that I realize 3 hours have passed in a snap! For better or worse, Lol
If i get married one day and am a stay at home wife, taking care of the house and cooking are NOTHING chores. you do it daily and you never spend more than an hour. add a kid and it becomes harder, but that's what you signed up for. you don't get to whine about not having more free time when your bread winner doesn't either. He doesn't get to make her do some of his job, why should she get to make him?
When my kids were little we flew several times and I always paid extra to get our seats all together but HUGE surprise. We’d show up and the airline would switch our seats. Didn’t matter if I paid for seats all together.
I don't really care who's an ass in the first story, they need to move. He mentioned that they have a tiny two bedroom apartment in a real expensive location. Move somewhere cheap live off one job so you can both have some time off and feel more human.
@@EmptyPeace not easy but it is doable. Construction and labouring work is the kind of work that’s needed everywhere and if they rent and don’t own It’s perfectly reasonable to move
@@aikikaname6508 depending on the city people get stuck in those places not being able to save without missing rent or going hungry I know this on a personal level being stuck in a motel for 5 months now planning to move out of state to end this pain ful loop
A friend of mine got into a long term relationship with a women and they had two kids, both unfortunately autistic. He works full time as a hospital porter and his partner does nothing. Zero, nada, zilch. He comes home, cooks the meal, bathes the kids, puts them to bed, cleans the home all on top of his strenuous job which has a long commute. She literally sat in front of the computer social networking and playing MMoRPGs all the time she’s awake. She ballooned to 25 stone (350 pounds) in a 5’6” frame and began to avoid personal hygiene. He got ill and the doctor told him he was drastically working himself to an early grave, even his hair started falling out. The doc even told her that she was being totally unreasonable as did all their friends, but her reply was in this new world, women doing house work was sexist. So he said that he was happy to be the house husband, she could go to work, but no, she couldn’t work now because she was morbidly obese! Fat stinking lazy.... Anyway, he had a minor heart attack and while he was hospitalised, Child protection took the kids away because she was not sending them to school, or washing them or hardly feeding them! He finally left her and got custody of the kids.
I'm glad he got away from her. And you can work at 350 pounds. I know people who are teachers at that weight. Hell, I'm morbidly obese and before quarentine, I was going 90 minutes on public transportation to work and then 90 minutes from. Also, if she can't work due to being morbidly obese, then she should have at least gotten a disability check. There are also resources to help kids with autism. She is so very disgusting and I feel bad for the kids.
i'm so glad the story ended with the husband getting the kids. That must have been terrifying, to hear they are being taken away while you can't do anything about it. I hope he was able to find someone better and get a more balanced life.
Osito Kintsugi He isn’t a bad looking lad and he found a new partner pretty quick. But it was his own fault that he let her get away with what she did. He’s the brother of a close friend of mine and all the women in the family think this women is disgusting.
NTA - Why should OP have had a backup plan while they just kicked back and expected the nephew would have his expenses covered. How entitled! Why didn't THEY have a backup plan? OP made an offer when they were in a position to help and it's not OPs fault that they now need that money themselves. Their kid, their problem. Not someone else's.
You are my favorite! I'm a 64 old woman who doesn't have a crush, but I think you're adorable! If you ever get to the Oregon coast I would so feed you and put you up. 😆 Thanks so much for your content 🤠
I talked to my mom about this, she homeschooled all of us to graduation. 27 years of homeschooling in all. She said her job was to clean the house before dad got home, have a meal ready. He only worked one job. Afterwards, he took over the five of us kids until bedtime. If mom wanted she could play outside with us, but she always got a bath in silence. She said it takes sacrifice, for both people to make it work.
My late dh worked full-time and went to uni 4 nites a week. He left home at 6:30 and came home at 11:00. In the morning when getting ready for work he woke our daughter and spent time with her. Then plopped her in with me. On week ends he did school work all day Sat at the city library while we were in the children's wing or in the botanical gardens or park and we ate dinner out. Sunday he let me sleep in and it was go see Grandparents and cousins or my Aunt and Uncle day. He never had to help with housework and I never would have asked him. My biggest regret is he passed before completing his MBFA so never had the chance to have a summer vacay. OP is definitely not the AH. Wife has hemorrhoids.
If you need to work two jobs/80 hrs a week to make it work, then you are doing it wrong. There's a serious need to have a sit down and go over their finances, because something has to give here, and again taking care of your child isn't *babysitting*
“So I and my degenerate male spawn are no longer welcome” LMFAO that’s a hilarious response to all the annoying mothers trying to brag “Yeah, my kid got 23,000 views on RUclips for farting” Actually crying from laughter
The story about the mommy blog SIL just made me cringe! First, middle, and last names with photos and tags?! All for views and attention? Their engagement, which she had no clue whether she had a post or something planned, their child (yes their as he will be her stepfather and I assume has cared for her all this time), and especially their privacy and rights to anonymity and autonomy is not for her to use freely. There are creeps, thieves, and just plain strangers out there that *gasp* some people don't wanna deal with.
I think the anger that some men feel towards women who have had past sexual partners stems directly from their own sexual insecurities. It's so blatantly obvious, to me anyhow.
I was thinking the guy was the ahole until he said he had two fricking jobs! If she wants what she said, hey, how about she get one of the jobs! I say this as a single Dad who does it all. I take care of the kid, take care of the house, work the job, and everything. It's all hard, and anyone who says taking care of the kids and the house isn't work is ignorant. If he had one job I would be totally on her side. Two jobs. I'd say she should probably start looking for a job as he's probably not going to last long at this schedule and their kids are now suffering from not having a father. If she doesn't want all the housework and kids thrust on her, than don't thrust all the money earning on him when he has to balance two jobs.
Sure did say she felt badly for her but the sister kept pushing her to feel something she didn't feel. I don't think I could have faked more feelings than I really had. I feel like op is pretty young and just worded things badly. Not everyone knows how to word things when cornered into an uncomfortable conversation.
The best thing I could have done is just say "I'd rather _not_ talking about"; rather than telling a lie to spare the other person's feelings, or be honest yet hurtful to them.
@@scarysara9364 yup. My mom always told us "if you have nothing nice to say then keep your mouth shut" I find it has saved me from saying many things I wouldn't have been able to take back but even though I really try hard to practice this and succeed most times, there have been times I've had enough and just let somebody have it.
I had horrible cramps. Prestigious MD said it was all "in my head". Asked him where the 'H***' smhe studued anatomy. When I was in labor with my child, the pain was Very Familiar...
Tell the girl who took your pills and now is begging to come back because her friends ready to kick her out. Tell her you know what maybe the problem is you. And you’re not my problem goodbye good luck God bless!
I love how he keeps mentioning The Office and I, who lives a 30 to 45 minute drive from Scranton, have never seen the damn show lol I saw the "beating my niece" while looking under the NTA filter on AITA. I stared at it, remembered where this was showing up, and became worried. Was glad I read it before I got the pitch forks and torches XD
twins: Absolutely, It is marriage first. But a marriage means you are one so this only holds as long as spouse is one with you. You both have to put the children before yourself but not before your union. This confusion is where entitled kids come from.
Why would OP cope for sister losing the baby… that makes no sense… and OP had empathy for sister but that they had no reason to be hurt… I mean I wouldn’t mourn if my sister had a miscarriage… I’d feel bad for her but I wouldn’t have anything to process
miscarriages suck, but "i'm fine" is perfectly acceptable here, and op is NTA just because they're not weepy and distraught enough for the rest of the family. i'm going w/ESH for the college-bound nephew, because if someone is going to pay for your tuition (parents or otherwise) you damn well apply for every scholarship you qualify for. tuition isn't cheap (at least here in the us) and if you're even remotely grateful for having someone paying your way, you make those payments as little of a burden on the person doing the paying, pandemic or not... not to mention, at this point, i'm pretty sure we should ALL be okay with expanding the idea from our friends across the pond and instead of taking "a gap year", take a "gap pandemic"... figure out where you want to go, and go there when it's not putting either you or your family's health and wallets at risk... i've been a guest at a wedding where one of the groomsmen and one of the bridesmaids were in the middle of an ugly split...NOT FUN FOR THE WEDDING (and i was it doesn't sound like op's inviting rose INSTEAD of her brother, and even if she was, the family can just go EABOD and hang out with the brother instead of attending the wedding...
Twin bond. YTAH here. Nothing should come between the bond of husband, wife and child. Wonder how OP would feel about sharing her husband if twin sister wanted to go to bed with him? Get pregnant by him? Wanted twins children to call her mommy too? Sister wives? Sister mommies? I honestly can't help but feel that the twin bond being held this tight into adulthood isn't a bit unhealthy
I have permanent nerve damage so I’m mostly bedridden, cPTSD and PTSD, I take antidepressants for it. I also come from an extremely abusive family (who kindly gave me said PTSD), and whenever they “visited” my home (unannounced), they’d weaponise my disabilities, harass me, and try to withhold my medications. I got fed up of this behaviour and had to throw my biological mother out my home, was the last time I saw her years ago, she’d tried to withhold my meds, I need my meds, this isn’t a joke, I rely on pain medication because I’m in pain every second of every day, and my PTSD meds. She was trying to withhold these. She acted like a spoiled child, slammed doors, called me names, and eventually left after shouting “I’ll bet you wish I get in a car crash”. As you can tell, not a healthy dynamic, she enabled my brothers physical abuse towards me, I had to care for him as a child because she didn’t want to be responsible, neglected me, didn’t love me, psychologically abused me, etc etc, and I’d had enough, so I kicked her out of my home. You do NOT mess with someone’s medications or medical equipment, by doing that you are interfering with the disabled individual who is literally just trying to get by in life. I hate hearing stories about people thinking they can just STEAL MEDICATION because of their BS personal views, just leave us alone and go take a long walk off a harbour wall. No Op, you’re NTA, you need your meds, that twunt had NO business messing with your meds.
She is a stay at home mom, OP works two jobs and is exhausted. The wife is being very unreasonable. When I started working I found out how tired you are when you get home from work. OP is talking rubbish about toxic masculinity. She has obviously been in contact with some toxic feminist group who is poisoning her mind. OP doesn't get to go out either. Telling her sister she didn't really care about the miscarriage is being an AH. However the mother and other sister have gone over the top with crying about it. The only person who should be devastated is the sister who had the miscarriage. The sister was being too pushy asking OP how she was coping not every one breaks down and cries because another woman has had a miscarriage. OP is not the AH for refusing to wash his gf blood soaked underwear with his clothes. The gf could have rinsed the blood out in the sink to get rid of the blood first. I wouldn't have just thrown blood stained underwear in with the washing without rinsing the blood out first.
In regards to the poly sister- it's okay to say no to three extra people at the last minute. Three strangers in the pandemic is a bit much. That said, it's not okay to be judgemental of their relationship. I would have said no, but not because of discomfort for polyamory- it would be because five people in a house is a lot, adding five to an already established family for several months is stressful.
I love the commenter that called the flyer an AH for not accepting a middle or aisle, states how THEY always switch and then lists all the situations that they actually would do exactly what OP did. 🙄
I worked 2 full time jobs, I didn't always have 16 hour days, I had 4 days where I only worked 8 hours and 3 days where I worked 16, on my 16 hour days I got 4 10 minute breaks, and 2 hour breaks. I still came home did chores and on my 8 hour days I still took care of my husband's kids (my step kids) I'm female. my husband worked 1 job and didn't clean.
she as a stay at home mom to a baby to small child is doing 100% child and 100% house care, I understand she doesn't get any breaks, no lunch, she is tired too, she doesn't have work friends to talk to and wants to have a child break, I understand that too. both are not a holes as both need breaks, they should both have 1 job and take on the child and house care.
The comments on the flatmate story makes me really happy I only took Cymbalta for about a week. I got put on it for nerve pains and because my depression was kicking back up, but if this is what happens when you're getting off of it, heck no!
It takes about a month to do a full withdrawal. I'm off of it for two years and have so much pain, but its not worth the month on and horrible month off. Gabapentin is do much worse, it can take a year to get off of it if you were on a high dose.
@@RWorley3sl the first time I took it , it was a godsend. The second time, I had an adverse reaction. Took awhile to trace it to gabapentin, but they took me down fast and ugh...hard times.
ok wait, yes periods are natural but never has anyone said they arent nasty. pooping is natural, its still disgusting. normalization does not mean ignoring facts. if i get random diarrhea, im ashamed, but i will never ask someone else to wash my boxers for me, especially someone ive only dated for 2 months. I would wash them by hand as best as i could and ask for a plastic bag to take them home in to wash in my machine. If THEY offered, id still not be comfortable with it, and still do an initial wash, but be more willing at least. Don't just force stuff like that on people, wtf. Edit: also, before anyone tries to say "its not the same, it's just blood" no, it isnt just blood, it's a mix of shed layers and fluid with some blood because of tye shedding, this is why it also smells a lot stronger and more rancid than when you bleed from a wound. You should still be understanding and not rude about it, but don't try to say it's not just as gross as any other body waste expulsion. (also no, despite what some people think, it is not actually the unfertilized egg, that thing is microscopic) oh and he's still an asshole cause duh its not gonna do anything to your clothes in the wash, but its staggering how many people minimize what a period is by saying "it's just blood." Loved the guy who said "As a man, woman up, it's just blood" lol
First story, not the asshole Part of being a stay at home parent while the other parent works (and 2 jobs, especially) is that it's your job to take care of the household. Cleaning a 2-bedroom apartment is not that difficult or time consuming. Wifey needs to work on her time management skills if she's struggling. This what she wanted, it seems she just didn't expect it to be, y'know, work. This dude works 2 jobs to keep his family afloat for Christ's sake. He's more than holding up his end of the bargain. Meanwhile, she stays home with the kid while not pulling in any income. Damn straight he shouldn't have to help with housework. Normally, I'd make the argument that he lives there too and should help out. But in cases like this where one party works and the other doesn't, it's only fair that the household management falls on the person who's not pulling in a paycheck. That becomes their job. If she doesn't get her shit together and either quit bitching about the bed she made, or figures out a better way, she's not gonna stay married for long. As it looks now, she neither values her husband's contributions nor cares for his well-being. I wouldn't put up with those demands or that kind of behavior from a partner.
That's 8 POUND baby, not 8 ounce, Markee. HUGE difference.
I caught that too..I busted him too..but was just to mess with Markee!.. Sorry Markee!🤣 men will never get that n apparently thinks 8 Oz n 8 pds are the same with babies.
The two comments above me are bots ⬆️
Well him being from Australia might have a reason for the blooper...they use grams and kilograms rather than ounces and pounds.
Her husband refused to listen to his wife, over his best friend, and only believed her after she had to post it online? Oh, and told her she was faking it, refused to answer her calls knowing she was about to pop… he was toxic, misogynistic, refused to listen to her, even kicked her out the home? Man, I’d straight up leave WTF
Buuutt She said the Dr told her she wasn't due for. . . Like umm duh due date is not a sure thing. Baby could come like a month before or a month after the due date. He should have known that something could be happening.
She doesn't really want to be a full time mom, she mainly wants to not work. The two are very different!
My mom was a full time mother and my father still did chores around the house. There was no way to provide childcare for 2 kids, and keep a small house immaculate with 4 then 5 people in it. It's weird that people assume that the OP's house is the same size as theirs or that the kid can be left alone.
@@Kimberly_Sparklesyea there is! I work full time and have 3 kids. It’s absolutely possible but your generation is extremely lazy. It’s a part of life. She literally has all day to do Jack shit. If you maintain your job, as a “stay at home mom” should, it should take an hour tops to pick up the house. Kids are at school half the day. It’s pure laziness and she wants a free ride. While he busts his ass working two jobs. I’m sorry your parents struggled but I’m a 41 year old woman that was able to just fine! Along with every other mother I know.
@@OhCyrusokay boomer.
How does the uncle not being able to pay for his nephews collage make him the A-Hole? Is he supposed to be flat broke and pay for college? And even if he gave the parents permission not to save, they had a responsibility to put something, even a little aside for their kid. Even if it were a few hundred.
The entire situation is unfortunate, but that's life. Unforseen things happen.
Why is a student loan out of the question? Repaying a student loan can an expensive and lengthy commitment but it will not kill a person. That’s what the majority are actually doing.
Why don’t the parents have the capacity to understand that life can throw all manner of changes at you. They expect understanding for their financial position but lack any for the uncle’s unfortunate financial circumstances.
I never let me nieces beat me in any competition.
They would get mad.
But now when they beat me, they so excited & talk about it for days. Not bully but excited.
I respond “I know! That’s awesome.”
For the one about the new girlfriend deleting the dead wife's photos...screw that, and screw her. Press charges or file a civil suit if that's not possible. I made the mistake of lending my ex a cd of photos (this was 13 years ago) of our son that had died (over 400 photos) and I never got it back. I now only have maybe 25 pictures of him and I still feel sick when I think about it. That stuff matters. I hope they break up with that person at the bare minimum.
If your spouse has to work two jobs so you can stay at home: you should not be staying at home
This!
As a sahm, i agree 100% with this comment.
I agree unless their part time job. Like what are the job?
@@SkylerSteps They meant two full time jobs or a full time+ part time
I think you mean they shouldn't have children. Because someone would still need to look after them.
SIL: refuses to respect OPs privacy and posts pictures
SIL: refuses to take them down
Also SIL: freaks out and cries that her privacy isn’t respected
He works 2 job while she wanted to be a stay at home mom! He's not the Ahole but she is!
yep, the moment one has to work in a second job there is no way staying at home is working out
She probably also complains that he doesn't spend enough time with her & give her the attention she needs. I see affair in her future
@@susangooden6638 100% it’s common af. that actually happened to me.
@@JohnDoe-fm6md awww I’m sorry to hear that. Hope wherever you are now you’re doing better anf taking care of yourself
I'm going to say they are both the a hole, he shouldn't have to work 2 jobs, and she shouldn't be solely responsible for the baby and house. she probably thinks about how he gets breaks at work while she doesn't, and he sees her get to stay home while he doesn't. they should both work, they need to have one work 1st shift and one work 2nd or 3rd. then they share the chores and child care.
Cheating brother. WELL ACTUALLY, you can forbid your brother from coming to the wedding. It is you and your spouses wedding. Only you two get to make decisions about it (well unless someone else is paying, then yes, they get a say...always pay for your own).
Who wants 5 extra people staying in your home? especially if you don't know 3 of them .. I think the sister is being very entitled that it's ok to mooch off her sister with her multiple partners .. Jeepers .. .. I back OP on this one ..
Who will be feeding all these people???? The five of them can afford to rent a one bedroom apartment. They can work out their finances.
@Boa-Noah it’s weird cause the sister is trying to force her poly relationship on her family. Like of course OP doesn’t want your weird kinks in her home.
And worse still one of those people isn’t involved with the sister, they’re coming along by being OPs sisters new partners partner! So they’re not even connected to OPs sister at all!
About the poly sister wanting to visit. The problem isn’t that she’s poly, that’s fine, it’s that she want to bring three other people with short notice!
When I was a kid, pre 911 and got to see the cockpit, flew with my family of 7. The one flight airline changed our tickets so no two seats were together. My mom tried to get people to switch so she could sit with my 2 yo sister. Finally she just handed someone her car seat and asked them to buckle it in so she could put my sis in. Guy noped out real quick and they sat together.
I have bipolar and God forbid someone hides my medicine from me for multiple days she wouldn't have asked to move back in I can tell you that much 😂
Serious question. I have a friend who is bipolar and is taking meds, but coukdnt spend the night because they didnt have their meds. I was confused , as I thought it would be okay if they just took them the bext morning. Do you really have to take them right on time and have alot of problems if you dont ?
@@hwiley8141 I'm pretty sure it's different for everyone but with me it takes about 2 days of me not taking my medicine to start spiraling and my mood becomes pretty much irratic.
@@hwiley8141 also I've been on multiple different medicications for my disorder and some of them are best taken at night before bed because they can make you tired/drowsy.
@@wubbalubbadabdab420 Thanks. I know my friend has struggled with this in the past. They have been in hospital 5 or 6 times. Not depression, but mania, with psychotic breaks. Scary stuff. I am not saying they dont need meds, but I think that part of the reason the dont want to miss a dose , at all, is they really dont want to relapse. Either that or they really dont like my cat. Stay well, and safe.
@@hwiley8141 no problem and yeah it makes sense I also have social anxiety and I've never really liked staying over people's houses even my close family, ig it just made me really anxious and my house/room has always been my safe space but stay safe hope I could be of help.
For the OP not paying for his nephew's college: please think about sending him to the local community college for his first two years, you should be able to fund that. Maybe in two years you will be in a financial position to fund him finishing up at a state university. Don't pull the rug out from under him.
Erased deceased wife's pictures.
Dude just dodged a huge Red flag! That level of attempted control is only a harbinger of bad things to come. Hope OP got his pics back.
Okay, for the story with the mom who was mad about her SIL putting OP and her daughter’s faces on social media. I feel like I have a unique perspective on this situation because I grew up being that child.
I was traumatized by mother and friends at a very young age. Because of this, full custody was awarded to my father and we lived with my paternal grandparents. They were extremely protective of me after that because I had experienced things no child should ever go through. If there were TV appearances or photos that would be made public (this was before social media was really a thing, I was not allowed to participate because my family didn’t want my mother or those connected to her to have access to where I went to school.
This has carried over into my adult life. My name is not linked to any of my accounts for this purpose specifically...except my LinkdIn. I knew if I left open any avenue linked to my name, someone would find me and try to make contact. This is exactly what happened. My half sister ended up finding and speaking to me through my LinkedIn. So yeah, if somebody really wants to find you, they will look for any shred of you there is.
That OP gets a NTA from me.
I can't stand people who act like antidepressants are some sort of evil conspiracy. Depression is a real, physical illness. I'm part of the permaculture community, and a lot of them act like going outside more is the cure to the chemical imbalance in your brain. It makes no sense. Sure, activities like exercise, gardening, meditation, etc. can help with depression, but medications are an absolutely crucial contribution to living with depression. My medications made such an amazing difference in my life. I was sleeping 14+ hours a day, crying all my waking hours, compulsively feeling suicidal and thinking only of death, and falling apart physically. I had stomach problems, could barely eat without getting nauseous, horrible "dizzy spells" that were similar to having a seizure, this odd numbness in my arms and legs, etc. I thought I had MS because the symptoms were so similar. Now, all of these symptoms aren't gone completely, but I'm so much more functional, I barely cry at all, my physical problems are gone, and I'm no longer suicidal. So please don't tell me that depression is all in your head, or that medication for it is somehow fake. Disgusting, unhelpful attitude.
My only complaint about ANY medication for mental health is that sometimes it can make things worse- but going outside is not the cure. Whilst I'm not diagnosed with anything but PTSD, I myself struggle getting up and living. My only help is paranoia medicine.
I'm not paranoid anymore except for every blue moon. I've just given up, yet I still go out most days. It barely helps with anything but my physical health.
Sorry but I’m not reading a whole essay
@@kiwify1317 yet, you decided it was worth commenting on. How sad.
I'm totally feeling you on some of the symptoms it makes physical pain so much worse
It's sorta like The Witch Trials it's only fake until they commit suicide then they know there was serious you know nobody gets out alive
Love the brother standing up for her sister and her awful periods. He is not even remotely an AH.
Story 1 NTA you have to work 2 jobs to keep her happy, she wanted to.
Story 2 NTA he believed his friend without listening to your side I would GTFO
I laughed so hard when marker said 8 ounce baby at that story
Mmmmmmm no, the guy not paying for college is NTA. You can’t expect him to just pay as if he didn’t just lose his income completely. I get that he promised, but those were under the expectation that we weren’t going to go through the largest unemployment event in American history. The fact that he still wishes to help is enough reason for a NTA judgement.
SALUTES for the guy who recognises that finding his girlfriend's stained underwear yucky is HIS problem, and not something to be shitty to her about
ANYONE WHO'S THAT PATHETIC SHOULD BE SACRIFICED TO BUFF HELPY!!!
@@Buff_Helpy Meesa sacrifice you, cringe boy
@@MeteoraZero how can you sacrifice Buff Helpy to Buff Helpy? Silly mortal.
@@Buff_Helpy you go to Petorian coal mines for prisoners of war
@@MeteoraZero SERVING THE GLORIOUS NATION OF PETORIA IS AN HONOR NOT A PUNISHMENT, ARE YOU HIGH?!
"Toxic masculinity" plus she can go out with friends? Ugh. Dude, get ready for a divorce. :(
Maybe if they divorced she'd take a better appreciation for his work.
@@debhufnagel5912 this is my preferred division of household labour. I personally, wouldn't have an issue with thing like the yard, and dishes when she cooks. But grocery shopping, no. She has time during the week to go grocery shopping. I would get upset if that landed on my 'honey-do' list after I worked 80 hours a week.
@@debhufnagel5912 I don't like the, I can see my friends, but you can't. I personally think they are headed for divorce because she is too controlling. She asked to be a mom at home when she had a baby, giving up her job. That's a tough road to hoe if you haven't planned ahead for that. I would like to live a life like that, but we'd have the date nights (which would be kidless), and the time with friends, for both of us. I don't have an issue with her spending time with friends, but I also expect that I should be able to go out with the boys once in awhile too.
@@Benkenobi8118 she could always go get a work at home job. And there's always grocery delivery. Then she could hire someone to watch her LO. And they'd both be able to do whatever.
Our “period panicked prick” doesn’t realize his mommy washed her own (possibly sisters) & his clothes together all his first 18 years! This ding-dong may need therapy, if he realizes that fact. 🤦🏻♀️😂😂😂😂😂
On flight w kids.
I was with OP being YTA until the mom said “ok. But ur responsible for the kids”
That’s not cool.
First one, not the A-hole. If he is working two jobs and she is at home, then she needs to do the chores. Simple. I am also a woman.
Kinda agreed until he phrased caring for his own damn kid as “babysitting”. Sounds like he’s expecting her to serve him.
Im a woman too and I agree with you. Taking care of the kids and the house is a job just like any other job. If the husband and wife are each working other jobs then they should share that job. If Op was working just one job then I would say he should help some. She shouldnt be on call 24/7 while he only works one shift. But Op is working two jobs. Basicly hes working her shift so she can stay home. And iMO hes off the hook for the day to day stuff. He does need to step up for extras.
@@nixxyhasthoughts ugh why do guys do that? Bro, you aren't babysitting your own baby. You are being a dad.
@@RyanPancakes was she being a mom? No. You know where most criminals and bad children come from?
@thatoneguy9816 ... she was being a mom, she probably wants a break.. like he gets breaks at work, they both should work 1 job and share childcare and house duties. 1 can work 1st or 2nd and the other can work 2nd or 3rd.
Do we really have to freak out grieve and be devastated because the idea of someone else's child is no more?
That sounds pretty unfair. The OP was In my opinion only morally obligated to feel bad for the sister which he did.
Exactly my thoughts. From the sounds of the story, the sister kept saying she truly felt bad, and didn’t say anything past that, until being pushed more and more. She kept saying “it must be hard, I’m so sorry you went through that,” but I know that if my sister told me what happened, I’d hug her and do what I could to comfort her, but I wouldn’t be up-in-arms as if it was my own child.
If it were my wife, and my child, yes, I’d be DEVASTATED, but wouldn’t expect anyone else to be as hurt as me or my wife would be. It’s not a “lack of empathy,” it’s a lack of the same level of emotional attachment to it. Someone close to my best friend dies, I’m heartbroken for him. Someone close to me dies, I’d expect him to be there for me just the same. I wouldn’t expect him to be just as upset as me over a family member dying, though, and I know that’s a bit different, but not too far off I don’t think.
TLDR: It’s a niece/nephew you never got to meet, whereas for them, it was their child that they carried for X amount of time. They were literally inseparable. NTA, there wasn’t a lack of empathy, there just wasn’t as much invested emotionally for them as there was for the mother.
The miscarriage one, NTA op tried to be polite and bow out but sister insisted and mom was stupid
In regards to the young woman who gets scared because of the football game screaming and yelling, it's possible that we don't have the whole story there and she could have PTSD and that could be what triggers it. PTSD is most common in women and children who suffer from abuse/trauma as well as soldiers.
I thought of that too. But then why would stay ? Both my mom and my dad had ptsd ( in mild forms ). Mom didnt like us having baloons. You know that thing where you bow it up, and slowly let the air out and it makes a "whhhheeee" sound ? Apparently that is exactly what bombs falling sound like. Neither of them liked fireworks. So we would leave fairs before the fireworks started.
Except for all her previous behaviour indicates that it’s much more likely she is doing this for control/attention plus she had already sat through multiple games so I’m sure would be aware shouting and screaming is par for the course yet refuses to remove herself from the situation.
I was thinking about the stay at home mother. Working 2 jobs leaves you with just a few hours of sleep, eat, and get ready for work. I think it is a lack of insight on both sides of how the other one thinks or feels. She could walk a month or two in his shoes. Running a home and raising a family at home is a job in itself. A big job. But she gets to stay at home and be with her kids. In my eyes that is a huge blessing.
She has empathy but doesn't have sympathy and that's ok
2:54:00 This reminds me way too much of my failed marriage. I felt like I was constantly at fault for his bad moods, because he would always act "off" around me, yet he REFUSED to talk about it, ever. But then if I made him upset or asked him if I'd done anything wrong just like OP did, he'd withhold affection too, and like....how ELSE am I supposed to feel when he did that? Of course I always felt insecure and that I had done something wrong! Then I'd get blamed for it again and again and told "you're the reason I don't ever communicate". Just. Like. This guy. That's kinda gaslighty, isn't it? Maybe only mildly so, but still.
Withholding affection and just tearing himself away like that is a form of emotional neglect, and it becomes outright emotional abuse if it's done frequently. When one partner is trying to physically connect with someone for comfort and reassurance, and is met with not only harsh rejection but such cold disdain, that partner will inevitably feel insecure and therefore needier, which creates a feedback loop that builds resentment and bitterness, made ten times worse by the man's refusal to ever discuss his feelings. Obviously I can't judge based on one reddit post, but it sounds like she's in a similar situation I was in, and if that's the case, my heart goes out to her because she's not in a healthy marriage at all.
About the first story, it is unfair of the wife to expect her dh to do chores she should be doing considering him working 2 jobs. Her choice to be sahm.
Having said that, being home full time with little kids without a break can also be unhealthy mentally. I have been there and simply needed adult conversations which took my dh a long time to grasp as he had this at work. Listening to little kids all day can be very draining without a break every now and then!! Not necessarily a night out every week but occassionally. Both partners need a break - her from being with little kids 24/7 and him from stress of working so many hours.
Everyone needs some "me" time with the stresses of everyday life just to survive without going stir crazy or getting sick.
Most bar owners, that I know of, frown on SO's staying there for any length of time. She might have gotten in trouble with her boss if she had given her boyfriend too much attention.
What does she think a SAHM spouse is for? That's a job!!
In a healthy relationship.
My husband is first & then my kids.
He is a good man & would not put us in a hard position.
But this is healthy too. Because it teaches children importance of commitment.
Some people hold kids like an idol & struggle letting them grow up.
1:22:03
NTA, coming from a poly person, that’s completely reasonable to be uncomfortable with 3 unplanned extra people in their home.
right! not to mention they have kids, bringing unplanned people (especially strangers ) into your home could cause stress (my sister and i get so stressed when strangers come he feel bad about eating in our own home without asking) ntm the pandemic and the risks it could have on a childs system (I also just wouldn't want strangers near my kids but thats just me)
They have a 2bdrm apartment and 1 child. Yes I can see she should get out every now and then. But so does he!
Do make friends with another couple with children and Socialize.
When she wanted to be a SAHM she should have make a deal where they rotate to have a break and find a choice for babysitting in order to go out together once in a while. I think she read that book but didn't make a list with all the responsabilities that would get till she goes back to work. It isn't healthy for neither of them to work 2 jobs and to be a SAHM 24hours even if they share childcare, both need time for themselves and mental health.
@playlist_8840 I agree, I think she didn't realize how isolated she would feel, how much doing everything at home and having no one all day would feel. He probably didn't know how tired working 2 jobs would be either. He doesn't see how tired, lonely and isolated she is and she doesn't see how physically tired he is.
the story with the sister: NTA....She is entitled to her feelings. death happens. we all know pregnancies are complicated and it happens EVERYDAY. everyone else are the AH for this behavior. Sorry Im in OPs side
eta: I would have said the same thing poster said so yeah.
Flatmate taking the meds:
What the actual heck? You've known this girl for less than (or about) 1 month and decide you know better than their Dr as far as what's good for them? Making someone go off their meds, even "weaning" is very dangerous. Take it from someone who now has some pretty fun health issues due to quiting my medicine cold turkey about 5 years ago. (I was broke, no insurance and couldn't afford $300 usd for 1 month of my meds so I didn't have much choice.)
My husband, who had just started dating me at the time (thankfully we were friends prior to so he knew how I was acting while coming off them was not me at all) and I was so horrid. Not abusive but just hard to be around. I was moody, I spent probably about 3 months crying and would hide myself away from him and everyone else. I just had no life in me at the time. I got depressed and almost ended up in the hospital, twice.
I'm much better now and have found ways to handle my anxiety most of the time. And when I can't handle it, I tell my hubby and he gives me the space or support I need. (No idea how he knows how to help because I can't even tell what I need during those times)
Story 2, I feel like the fiance was at an absolute bare minimum having an emotional affair with the friend, he had ZERO care about what she had to say, and when alone with that person rejected her call... Yea no, he doesn't deserve the time of day
2 jobs...totally forgetting he shares watching the child. One of his issues is she wants him to take the child for entire evenings when she's also complaining he's not doing housework, not that he doesn't want to help with child care
Ann/Keith. Ann needs to put her heating pad in a plastic cover and put her heating pad in that to protect the microwave.
I love listening to you. Your voice is so smooth and calming to me. Keep up the great work.
With the six yr old niece who thinks she’s faster… a mom must teach their child to win and lose with grace. I know that’s a mess in this world of participation trophies. If they don’t learn to handle losing, they’ll give up later on in life as soon as things get hard.
I think being super friendly with customers may be her way of getting more tips hell what does that matter. Its her life. Also not to mention you could have gotten her fired
poly party: so sister expects OP to accommodate 5 additional adults for two months ... and to provide food and all domestic services ... and probably chauffeur services - free of charge? And to pay for all the extra utilities they'll be using?
I didn't notice any mention of any money being handed over to help ease the burden.
Even apart from their lifestyle, even apart from having children in the house, strangers staying in my home during a pandemic would get a very firm Nope from me.
Markee's comment about them using a hotel - ah, but then they'd have to pay for it, and pay more than a token amount.
"Hey, you wanted to be a stay at home mom, please fulfill the responsibilities of being a stay at home mom."
"REEEEEEE TOXIC MASCULINITYYYYYYY!"
-Story 1 in a nutshell
Yep, I want to fulfill the assigned gender role of a mother but you have toxic masculinity for expecting me to fulfill the role I requested.
@Erin Bliss Her work is the running of the household, she is responsible for the cooking, cleaning, shopping. When he gets home they both take responsibility of the child - but if he is doing 16 hour days (2x fulltime jobs) then her day should also be 16 hours right.... OR she could work part time/full time child can go into care and they can do a 50/50 split of the household chores.
She is blaming her own decision on his toxic masculinity. She wants the cake and eat it too..... OH and for the record I have done the full 12mth maternity leave and returned part time to my husbands full time, with a higher needs child. I have another on the way and will take another year of maternity leave. I take on the bulk of the household running, and childcare. I do know what taking care of a child is like, and not just a child but a high needs behavioural child.
@Erin Bliss i worked and took care of my child alone. she's selfish.
@Erin Bliss who the fuck cares? they had an agreement. he works 80 hour weeks. how about she get a damn job then?
@Erin Bliss you're a dummy and a misandrist. he clearly said they share childcare duties.
first one - NTA, that was the arrangement they worked out. I get being frustrated that she has no life outside of the house and her baby, and i think a night off or two every now and then so she can see her friends would be great, but he should get those too. Also, I know 'toxic masculinity' is a trigger word for some people and some people don't think it exists, I think it does exist, but that's not what is happening here, and over-using the term in situations where it is not applicable just muddies the waters. They mutually decided this, sounds like her more than him, actually, what the situation would be, he never forced this on her, he's not expecting it just because that's what guys do or anything.
the one with the sister that miscarried, also NTA. I don't think a disingenuous performance of grief she doesn't feel is necessary. She did feel empathy for her sister, I think she did understand what her sister was feeling, and didn't begrudge her that or anything. But that doesn't mean she has to be tremendously saddened herself for a miscarried baby she had very little connection to. And she never came out to say she wasn't really feeling any strong emotions about it until pressed about it, at which point she was just being honest. This wasn't her pregnancy, she has no reason to feel the same amount of grief over a miscarriage as her sister and to a lesser extent her mother. She can support their grief without feeling it herself. But I don't think she should feel obligated to lie that she is feeling something she isn't.
I totally thought of Scott’s Tots. 🤣🤣
I think it’s bullshit making OP work two jobs just because she wants to stay home with her kid. And then she goes and complains about having to do exactly what she promised? She’s extremely selfish and I feel bad for OP that he is stuck with someone like that.
OPs twin sister could have PCOS. It took years for mine to get diagnosed, and sadly it comes with plenty sexism from other women and medical professionals.
About the guy racing his niece, my 9 year old kept beating his uncle and dad in yugioh and...was a really sore winner about it. Like, he'd have a clear shot to victory and still build his monsters and stall until he could do a full wipe for no reason and then brag and brag. Well. I used to play in tournaments. So I completely trashed him a few times and explained why what he was doing was wrong. So uh. He doesn't do that anymore. Kids need to learn.
OP, next time your wife locks you out; call the non-emergency line of the police station. It is illegal for a spouse to deny access to your shared marital home. Let's see how funny she thinks it is then (and she can't say you "abandoned her."
bar guy, it is her job, she earns her money from tips, she gets tips from people by flirting, smiling, giving attention to the people she serves.
One year late: I went back and found the post. Never updated and OP only commented 4 times: once to try and say they're not the same person because they have different careers and defending her sister for not putting her child first, another so say they "probably shouldn't say that anymore" when asked why tf they'd say that to their families, and another to say op doesn't think they can ever put someone above her sis. Goddamn these parents really fcked up not making sure these two developed separate personalities
One story "it's sexist to call a woman emotional " next story " you leaving after being locked out really hurt her emotionally " make up your mind
My ex and I were married for 5 years before our daughter was born. I stayed home the first 2 years. My job was the home. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping (he sat in the car outside while I took our daughter in with me) I also paid the bills. That was my job while he worked. I had no problem with the arrangement. The problems started when I went back to work full time. I still did everything. I would break down about once every 6 months with the stress. He would clean the bathroom once then it went back and I did everything again. Sadly I put up with it for 17 years. I was in another long term relationship (he passed 10 years ago/we never lived together). I will never get married again.
NTA she shouldn't have posted it in the first place, sil damn well knew she didn't want her daughter posted on the Internet and took precautions for it.
My husband is my number one. And the reason that is is that my children are going to grow up and have relationships of their own and those persons they put number one in my life are no longer there.
So glad I found your channel. I don't usually enjoy 'Reddit content' very much, but the way you present it is so genuine and different. I find myself so submerged in the stories that I realize 3 hours have passed in a snap! For better or worse, Lol
If i get married one day and am a stay at home wife, taking care of the house and cooking are NOTHING chores. you do it daily and you never spend more than an hour. add a kid and it becomes harder, but that's what you signed up for. you don't get to whine about not having more free time when your bread winner doesn't either. He doesn't get to make her do some of his job, why should she get to make him?
When my kids were little we flew several times and I always paid extra to get our seats all together but HUGE surprise. We’d show up and the airline would switch our seats. Didn’t matter if I paid for seats all together.
I don't really care who's an ass in the first story, they need to move. He mentioned that they have a tiny two bedroom apartment in a real expensive location. Move somewhere cheap live off one job so you can both have some time off and feel more human.
@@EmptyPeace not easy but it is doable. Construction and labouring work is the kind of work that’s needed everywhere and if they rent and don’t own It’s perfectly reasonable to move
@@aikikaname6508 depending on the city people get stuck in those places not being able to save without missing rent or going hungry
I know this on a personal level being stuck in a motel for 5 months now planning to move out of state to end this pain ful loop
Tell them you don't want cheaters at your wedding, bad mojo
A friend of mine got into a long term relationship with a women and they had two kids, both unfortunately autistic. He works full time as a hospital porter and his partner does nothing. Zero, nada, zilch. He comes home, cooks the meal, bathes the kids, puts them to bed, cleans the home all on top of his strenuous job which has a long commute. She literally sat in front of the computer social networking and playing MMoRPGs all the time she’s awake. She ballooned to 25 stone (350 pounds) in a 5’6” frame and began to avoid personal hygiene. He got ill and the doctor told him he was drastically working himself to an early grave, even his hair started falling out. The doc even told her that she was being totally unreasonable as did all their friends, but her reply was in this new world, women doing house work was sexist. So he said that he was happy to be the house husband, she could go to work, but no, she couldn’t work now because she was morbidly obese! Fat stinking lazy.... Anyway, he had a minor heart attack and while he was hospitalised, Child protection took the kids away because she was not sending them to school, or washing them or hardly feeding them! He finally left her and got custody of the kids.
I'm glad he got away from her. And you can work at 350 pounds. I know people who are teachers at that weight. Hell, I'm morbidly obese and before quarentine, I was going 90 minutes on public transportation to work and then 90 minutes from. Also, if she can't work due to being morbidly obese, then she should have at least gotten a disability check. There are also resources to help kids with autism. She is so very disgusting and I feel bad for the kids.
i'm so glad the story ended with the husband getting the kids. That must have been terrifying, to hear they are being taken away while you can't do anything about it. I hope he was able to find someone better and get a more balanced life.
Good for your friend, I hope he's doing well now.
So so glad this ended with dad saying fuck outta here and getting custody of those babies.
Osito Kintsugi He isn’t a bad looking lad and he found a new partner pretty quick. But it was his own fault that he let her get away with what she did. He’s the brother of a close friend of mine and all the women in the family think this women is disgusting.
NTA - Why should OP have had a backup plan while they just kicked back and expected the nephew would have his expenses covered.
How entitled!
Why didn't THEY have a backup plan?
OP made an offer when they were in a position to help and it's not OPs fault that they now need that money themselves.
Their kid, their problem. Not someone else's.
The miscarriage story NTA she probed OP and forced them to elaborate
Markee the story you told about the boyfriend not wanting to wash GF bloody underwear has me cracking up, oh my god I got tears in my eyes. Too funny
You are my favorite! I'm a 64 old woman who doesn't have a crush, but I think you're adorable!
If you ever get to the Oregon coast I would so feed you and put you up. 😆
Thanks so much for your content 🤠
If you need to make sacrifices to let your wife work at home, she can make scarifies too. NTA
I talked to my mom about this, she homeschooled all of us to graduation. 27 years of homeschooling in all. She said her job was to clean the house before dad got home, have a meal ready. He only worked one job. Afterwards, he took over the five of us kids until bedtime. If mom wanted she could play outside with us, but she always got a bath in
silence. She said it takes sacrifice, for both people to make it work.
My late dh worked full-time and went to uni 4 nites a week. He left home at 6:30 and came home at 11:00. In the morning when getting ready for work he woke our daughter and spent time with her. Then plopped her in with me. On week ends he did school work all day Sat at the city library while we were in the children's wing or in the botanical gardens or park and we ate dinner out. Sunday he let me sleep in and it was go see Grandparents and cousins or my Aunt and Uncle day. He never had to help with housework and I never would have asked him. My biggest regret is he passed before completing his MBFA so never had the chance to have a summer vacay. OP is definitely not the AH. Wife has hemorrhoids.
If you need to work two jobs/80 hrs a week to make it work, then you are doing it wrong. There's a serious need to have a sit down and go over their finances, because something has to give here, and again taking care of your child isn't *babysitting*
@@pansprayers 8
“So I and my degenerate male spawn are no longer welcome”
LMFAO that’s a hilarious response to all the annoying mothers trying to brag
“Yeah, my kid got 23,000 views on RUclips for farting”
Actually crying from laughter
The story about the mommy blog SIL just made me cringe! First, middle, and last names with photos and tags?! All for views and attention? Their engagement, which she had no clue whether she had a post or something planned, their child (yes their as he will be her stepfather and I assume has cared for her all this time), and especially their privacy and rights to anonymity and autonomy is not for her to use freely. There are creeps, thieves, and just plain strangers out there that *gasp* some people don't wanna deal with.
Toxic masculinity is an excuse. What was that about her going out how many times a week?
I think the anger that some men feel towards women who have had past sexual partners stems directly from their own sexual insecurities. It's so blatantly obvious, to me anyhow.
I was thinking the guy was the ahole until he said he had two fricking jobs! If she wants what she said, hey, how about she get one of the jobs!
I say this as a single Dad who does it all. I take care of the kid, take care of the house, work the job, and everything. It's all hard, and anyone who says taking care of the kids and the house isn't work is ignorant. If he had one job I would be totally on her side. Two jobs. I'd say she should probably start looking for a job as he's probably not going to last long at this schedule and their kids are now suffering from not having a father. If she doesn't want all the housework and kids thrust on her, than don't thrust all the money earning on him when he has to balance two jobs.
Sure did say she felt badly for her but the sister kept pushing her to feel something she didn't feel. I don't think I could have faked more feelings than I really had. I feel like op is pretty young and just worded things badly. Not everyone knows how to word things when cornered into an uncomfortable conversation.
The best thing I could have done is just say "I'd rather _not_ talking about"; rather than telling a lie to spare the other person's feelings, or be honest yet hurtful to them.
@@scarysara9364 yup. My mom always told us "if you have nothing nice to say then keep your mouth shut" I find it has saved me from saying many things I wouldn't have been able to take back but even though I really try hard to practice this and succeed most times, there have been times I've had enough and just let somebody have it.
You are working two jobs, tell her this is her problem
Before my doctor put me on birth control, my periods were absolutely atrocious. So in my opinion, the twin brother is definitely nta.
I had horrible cramps. Prestigious MD said it was all "in my head". Asked him where the 'H***' smhe studued anatomy. When I was in labor with my child, the pain was Very Familiar...
Tell the girl who took your pills and now is begging to come back because her friends ready to kick her out. Tell her you know what maybe the problem is you. And you’re not my problem goodbye good luck God bless!
I love how he keeps mentioning The Office and I, who lives a 30 to 45 minute drive from Scranton, have never seen the damn show lol
I saw the "beating my niece" while looking under the NTA filter on AITA. I stared at it, remembered where this was showing up, and became worried. Was glad I read it before I got the pitch forks and torches XD
With the twins - YTA, op.
Stop hurting your family members by pushing the twinness into their faces. And the priorities are totally out of whack!
twins: Absolutely, It is marriage first. But a marriage means you are one so this only holds as long as spouse is one with you. You both have to put the children before yourself but not before your union. This confusion is where entitled kids come from.
Why would OP cope for sister losing the baby… that makes no sense… and OP had empathy for sister but that they had no reason to be hurt… I mean I wouldn’t mourn if my sister had a miscarriage… I’d feel bad for her but I wouldn’t have anything to process
miscarriages suck, but "i'm fine" is perfectly acceptable here, and op is NTA just because they're not weepy and distraught enough for the rest of the family.
i'm going w/ESH for the college-bound nephew, because if someone is going to pay for your tuition (parents or otherwise) you damn well apply for every scholarship you qualify for. tuition isn't cheap (at least here in the us) and if you're even remotely grateful for having someone paying your way, you make those payments as little of a burden on the person doing the paying, pandemic or not...
not to mention, at this point, i'm pretty sure we should ALL be okay with expanding the idea from our friends across the pond and instead of taking "a gap year", take a "gap pandemic"... figure out where you want to go, and go there when it's not putting either you or your family's health and wallets at risk...
i've been a guest at a wedding where one of the groomsmen and one of the bridesmaids were in the middle of an ugly split...NOT FUN FOR THE WEDDING (and i was it doesn't sound like op's inviting rose INSTEAD of her brother, and even if she was, the family can just go EABOD and hang out with the brother instead of attending the wedding...
Twin bond. YTAH here. Nothing should come between the bond of husband, wife and child. Wonder how OP would feel about sharing her husband if twin sister wanted to go to bed with him? Get pregnant by him? Wanted twins children to call her mommy too? Sister wives? Sister mommies? I honestly can't help but feel that the twin bond being held this tight into adulthood isn't a bit unhealthy
I have permanent nerve damage so I’m mostly bedridden, cPTSD and PTSD, I take antidepressants for it. I also come from an extremely abusive family (who kindly gave me said PTSD), and whenever they “visited” my home (unannounced), they’d weaponise my disabilities, harass me, and try to withhold my medications. I got fed up of this behaviour and had to throw my biological mother out my home, was the last time I saw her years ago, she’d tried to withhold my meds, I need my meds, this isn’t a joke, I rely on pain medication because I’m in pain every second of every day, and my PTSD meds. She was trying to withhold these. She acted like a spoiled child, slammed doors, called me names, and eventually left after shouting “I’ll bet you wish I get in a car crash”.
As you can tell, not a healthy dynamic, she enabled my brothers physical abuse towards me, I had to care for him as a child because she didn’t want to be responsible, neglected me, didn’t love me, psychologically abused me, etc etc, and I’d had enough, so I kicked her out of my home.
You do NOT mess with someone’s medications or medical equipment, by doing that you are interfering with the disabled individual who is literally just trying to get by in life. I hate hearing stories about people thinking they can just STEAL MEDICATION because of their BS personal views, just leave us alone and go take a long walk off a harbour wall. No Op, you’re NTA, you need your meds, that twunt had NO business messing with your meds.
She is a stay at home mom, OP works two jobs and is exhausted. The wife is being very unreasonable. When I started working I found out how tired you are when you get home from work. OP is talking rubbish about toxic masculinity. She has obviously been in contact with some toxic feminist group who is poisoning her mind. OP doesn't get to go out either.
Telling her sister she didn't really care about the miscarriage is being an AH. However the mother and other sister have gone over the top with crying about it. The only person who should be devastated is the sister who had the miscarriage. The sister was being too pushy asking OP how she was coping not every one breaks down and cries because another woman has had a miscarriage.
OP is not the AH for refusing to wash his gf blood soaked underwear with his clothes. The gf could have rinsed the blood out in the sink to get rid of the blood first. I wouldn't have just thrown blood stained underwear in with the washing without rinsing the blood out first.
"Heating pads at work"
Low tech/cheep solution: Wrap the pad in a towel (or similar) while in use. Then heat it without the towel.
In regards to the poly sister- it's okay to say no to three extra people at the last minute. Three strangers in the pandemic is a bit much. That said, it's not okay to be judgemental of their relationship. I would have said no, but not because of discomfort for polyamory- it would be because five people in a house is a lot, adding five to an already established family for several months is stressful.
I love the commenter that called the flyer an AH for not accepting a middle or aisle, states how THEY always switch and then lists all the situations that they actually would do exactly what OP did. 🙄
Love the long videos!! Amazing background noise for doing work
Trapped with a two year old. But you had a deal. She should keep to the deal.
Trapped? She is not trapped. She chose to have a kid. Wtf.
When you work 2 jobs, you don’t even have time for sleep. How dare she ask him to do anything at home! She’s selfish , lazy, and unappreciative!
I worked 2 full time jobs, I didn't always have 16 hour days, I had 4 days where I only worked 8 hours and 3 days where I worked 16, on my 16 hour days I got 4 10 minute breaks, and 2 hour breaks. I still came home did chores and on my 8 hour days I still took care of my husband's kids (my step kids) I'm female. my husband worked 1 job and didn't clean.
she as a stay at home mom to a baby to small child is doing 100% child and 100% house care, I understand she doesn't get any breaks, no lunch, she is tired too, she doesn't have work friends to talk to and wants to have a child break, I understand that too. both are not a holes as both need breaks, they should both have 1 job and take on the child and house care.
@@adrianparsons6683
Sounds about right, some people work hard and some are lazy. I hope you don’t have to work that hard anymore.
The comments on the flatmate story makes me really happy I only took Cymbalta for about a week. I got put on it for nerve pains and because my depression was kicking back up, but if this is what happens when you're getting off of it, heck no!
It takes about a month to do a full withdrawal. I'm off of it for two years and have so much pain, but its not worth the month on and horrible month off. Gabapentin is do much worse, it can take a year to get off of it if you were on a high dose.
@@RWorley3sl the first time I took it , it was a godsend. The second time, I had an adverse reaction. Took awhile to trace it to gabapentin, but they took me down fast and ugh...hard times.
If OP stays with Michael he will 100% cheat on her with Madison if he hasn’t already
ok wait, yes periods are natural but never has anyone said they arent nasty. pooping is natural, its still disgusting. normalization does not mean ignoring facts. if i get random diarrhea, im ashamed, but i will never ask someone else to wash my boxers for me, especially someone ive only dated for 2 months. I would wash them by hand as best as i could and ask for a plastic bag to take them home in to wash in my machine. If THEY offered, id still not be comfortable with it, and still do an initial wash, but be more willing at least. Don't just force stuff like that on people, wtf.
Edit: also, before anyone tries to say "its not the same, it's just blood" no, it isnt just blood, it's a mix of shed layers and fluid with some blood because of tye shedding, this is why it also smells a lot stronger and more rancid than when you bleed from a wound. You should still be understanding and not rude about it, but don't try to say it's not just as gross as any other body waste expulsion. (also no, despite what some people think, it is not actually the unfertilized egg, that thing is microscopic) oh and he's still an asshole cause duh its not gonna do anything to your clothes in the wash, but its staggering how many people minimize what a period is by saying "it's just blood." Loved the guy who said "As a man, woman up, it's just blood" lol
He’s working 2 jobs! 🤦🏾♀️what is she expecting?!…..
First story, not the asshole
Part of being a stay at home parent while the other parent works (and 2 jobs, especially) is that it's your job to take care of the household. Cleaning a 2-bedroom apartment is not that difficult or time consuming. Wifey needs to work on her time management skills if she's struggling. This what she wanted, it seems she just didn't expect it to be, y'know, work.
This dude works 2 jobs to keep his family afloat for Christ's sake. He's more than holding up his end of the bargain. Meanwhile, she stays home with the kid while not pulling in any income. Damn straight he shouldn't have to help with housework. Normally, I'd make the argument that he lives there too and should help out. But in cases like this where one party works and the other doesn't, it's only fair that the household management falls on the person who's not pulling in a paycheck. That becomes their job.
If she doesn't get her shit together and either quit bitching about the bed she made, or figures out a better way, she's not gonna stay married for long. As it looks now, she neither values her husband's contributions nor cares for his well-being. I wouldn't put up with those demands or that kind of behavior from a partner.
the only thing he should help at is, if he makes something dirty
but since he needs to work 2 jobs that arrangement is not working out well