I had a gambling relapse but its ok, i think i can make it part time with uber eats and doordash

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  • Опубликовано: 29 дек 2024

Комментарии • 135

  • @lorenzo-in-tokyo
    @lorenzo-in-tokyo Месяц назад +12

    Struggled with a gambling addiction in 2021, hardest thing I quit. I believe in you. Keep on pushing!

  • @Alex-o9n5f
    @Alex-o9n5f Месяц назад +4

    Mee too bro. I always broke becuse. Every week gamblyn

  • @patricialewis-payton7114
    @patricialewis-payton7114 Месяц назад +25

    Thank you for sharing your testimony. Gambling addiction is serious. I run my line of credit up and my credit card. I understand everything you are saying . Please 🙏 stop. The last time I gamble lost 6,000 dollars. I have was having crazy thoughts. Please stop . 🛑

    • @AffectionateWindsurfing-bh6ej
      @AffectionateWindsurfing-bh6ej Месяц назад +4

      I lost over 100000 over time, it's fun when you win, but!

    • @unknown4554
      @unknown4554 Месяц назад +2

      Won 10,000$ sports gambling in one month and lost all of it the next day 😂

    • @ciararespect4296
      @ciararespect4296 Месяц назад +1

      How did you get credit for $6000 if you're in debt a lot?

    • @patricialewis-payton7114
      @patricialewis-payton7114 Месяц назад +1

      @ I don't owe you no explanation. I lost it . I felt shame.

    • @patricialewis-payton7114
      @patricialewis-payton7114 Месяц назад +1

      People has lost more than that and one ☝️ night. Read comments that people post. You see I am not alone.

  • @diaryofapunter1
    @diaryofapunter1 Месяц назад +2

    Thanks for sharing, im in the same boat. Ive been battling this illness for more than a year now. I know everything you're going through ive been there myself. Last week i lost R700 and currently my bank balance is zero that is the only way im not able to gamble. Out of all addictions i think gambling is the worst

  • @dragonlee4065
    @dragonlee4065 Месяц назад +14

    I relate to your stories, my friend. I'm a gambler, too. I watched one of your RUclips videos, and I decided not to go to the casino this weekend, and it breaks my heart to hear that you relapsed and went to the casino. I feel guilty that you helped me, but I didn't. I have relapsed in the past, and it seems it's hard to quite without a goal and a good support around you.

    • @lifeinlosangelescalifornia1493
      @lifeinlosangelescalifornia1493  Месяц назад +9

      I know i have relapsed but i noticed that the gambling urged decrease when i stay busy doing something else like watching a movie or going to do deliveries with the gig apps

    • @tombkk1322
      @tombkk1322 Месяц назад +1

      @@lifeinlosangelescalifornia1493I really respect your meeting this problem head on. GA might also help with the urges. Good luck.

    • @AffectionateWindsurfing-bh6ej
      @AffectionateWindsurfing-bh6ej Месяц назад

      ​@lifeinlosangelescalifornia1493 if you continue to grow up, one day you will not enter the casino you'll be busy at something else!

    • @ciararespect4296
      @ciararespect4296 Месяц назад

      ​@@lifeinlosangelescalifornia1493definitely join an AA gambling group. It may seem pointless but it might help you accountable and also meet other people who are IN the same situation

  • @Sovereign80
    @Sovereign80 Месяц назад +8

    Thanks for sharing fella. You will get there.. the fact that youre making yourself acountable to your subscribers will help.. Been where you are.. was a chauffer in the Uk and went through a similar thing..

  • @ruportwillis6787
    @ruportwillis6787 Месяц назад +4

    Gambling addiction is an evil that has hurt me and countless others. Enough is enough. I pray for the strength to stop and I will do the same for you.

  • @Burntmarshmellow-23
    @Burntmarshmellow-23 Месяц назад +2

    Dealing with this myself friend. Proud of you and keep on pushing on

  • @eddiereynoza1130
    @eddiereynoza1130 Месяц назад +4

    Gambling is a fools game most addicted gamblers do not stop and learn until they lose everything. The highest rate of suicide in this country is las Vegas/Nevada.

  • @motive7475
    @motive7475 Месяц назад +4

    Every time you have an urge to gamble just go on a long walk and get some fresh air. You will be amazed on how it changes your perspective.

  • @joebattaglia374
    @joebattaglia374 Месяц назад +6

    Hello,
    I enjoy watching your videos in my leather recliner while sipping wine. I am an independently wealthy man also living in Los Angeles. The only “gambling” I do is in the markets. I typically make five figures a month. You should work harder and take every delivery offer! It’s better than sitting in your van lollygagging and not making money. Hustle, lad!
    Regards,
    Joe B.

  • @marshallwallace719
    @marshallwallace719 26 дней назад +1

    I have that issue myself my mind enjoys gambling but my finances definitely don’t.

  • @osrspvm123
    @osrspvm123 Месяц назад +13

    i lost 150k gambling, i know were in different places but im on the verge of homeless ness. i lost control when i lost some loved ones

    • @flawsinstyleg.9799
      @flawsinstyleg.9799 Месяц назад

      Real ni#@$ bounce back bro. Just accept gambling is a legal scam especially with the card machine shuffles taking over

    • @daverocker11
      @daverocker11 Месяц назад +1

      i myself can get triggered sometimes depending on whats going on in my life what i found helps is locking the money away either in a cd or savings account better yet if u had 150k with big money like that best to buy an apartment or something and rent it out atleast u know u cant lose that money

  • @chrisprova2558
    @chrisprova2558 Месяц назад +10

    you can do this brotha, stay busy. Get a warehouse job if you need to man, just gotta get through it day by day. If you need any help let me know man

  • @bricks-mortar
    @bricks-mortar Месяц назад +4

    Haven't had a virus nor flu, nor cold, since I stopped going into poker rooms, FOUR years ago.

  • @vincentsperrazza5926
    @vincentsperrazza5926 Месяц назад +7

    GA is a good route. Youll have a support system in place through becoming part of it.

  • @hotsauceislethal
    @hotsauceislethal Месяц назад +3

    The trick is to get addicted to making money not gambling it away
    Get a job as a server in a restaurant you get paid $15 per hour plus tips in California, works out to be $30-100 per hour depending on the restaurant. No wear and tear or gas costs, also not risking any car accidents driving around town.

  • @harveyottinger5572
    @harveyottinger5572 Месяц назад +2

    The pain from losing needs to overcome the joy of winning. The thought of losing and the liklihood of losing needs to be your reality. Until this happens, you will never solve your problem.

  • @JonC-b3k
    @JonC-b3k Месяц назад +3

    Fam I’ve been through this vicious cycle stop while you can before you end up on skid row🙏🏽 If you have the option to relocate to a state where gambling is illegal do so. Preferably Hawaii because the ride share market is booming out here 💰 🌴

  • @dwardm
    @dwardm Месяц назад +1

    These videos are important. Don’t stop uploading. Get help like maybe a group meeting or get on a sobriety app and chat with others on the app when having urges

  • @33percent-33
    @33percent-33 Месяц назад +1

    You sound motivated and that is great. Ride that wave and capitalize on that. Little step helps.

  • @jeffha4057
    @jeffha4057 Месяц назад +4

    The only true failure is giving up. Relapses are just a bump in the road.

  • @Vahagraphy
    @Vahagraphy Месяц назад +3

    go gamble if you want to gamble. F everyone. F the credit cards. who cares you dont pay. get more credit cards and run them up F them lol

  • @brianhenson7877
    @brianhenson7877 Месяц назад +2

    keep you head up and stay positive. just stay busy working and in your spare time find something you like to do for fun and spend time with family and freinds

  • @cronstrubzo
    @cronstrubzo Месяц назад +4

    **** WARNING : IF YOURE WEARING HEADPHONES IT GETS REALLY LOUD AT 3 MINUTES. *******

  • @bradleylittle1469
    @bradleylittle1469 Месяц назад +2

    bro its a losing proposition ,like betting against the sun rising for real

  • @The_Schmelter
    @The_Schmelter Месяц назад +10

    You have to talk to someone before you gamble it will help and could fight off the urge. Keep working hard try and find a new hobby, you've got this mate

    • @ToyStory2WasAverage
      @ToyStory2WasAverage Месяц назад +4

      this is solid advice

    • @vincentsperrazza5926
      @vincentsperrazza5926 Месяц назад +4

      Yeah Gambler ls Anonymous. Fighting addiction with a support system will make it a lil easier.

  • @emceeb2485
    @emceeb2485 Месяц назад +3

    In the past nearly 10 years, I was going to the casino often. Gradually, I would spend more and more. I began spending more than a jackpot each time I went.
    I would win and still play my winnings in the hope of winning bigger.
    I became the jackpot... the jackpot for the casino.
    I started leaving the casino with a walk of shame. It became numbing.
    The greed really gets you to justify your losses and poor choices.
    I haven't gambled in over a month. I didn't quit, I just got real about it.
    Mistakes can be corrected. Stay strong.

    • @diaryofapunter1
      @diaryofapunter1 Месяц назад +2

      The pain of this disease is unimaginable😢 most who can gamble and stop dont understand that an addict just can't stop until the last penny is lost

  • @MikeDrew312
    @MikeDrew312 Месяц назад +2

    I learned the best thing to do was to either hold it or leave it in a index fund. I was better off.

    • @MikeDrew312
      @MikeDrew312 Месяц назад +1

      @ index funds yeah. Not all of it. You lose money 💰 when it sits in your bank and the bank makes money off it

  • @Vegasrat
    @Vegasrat Месяц назад +1

    My guy, once you understand and accept that every single game in the casino is designed to take your money; you will move on. The only way to win is to hit a jackpot on your very 1st visit and never go back again ..lol.....

  • @EL-kf8nq
    @EL-kf8nq Месяц назад +4

    Consider a GA meeting. GA saved my life. I’m 14 years without placing a bet. Compulsive gambling is a brutal disease. Hope you find peace and try to get some help. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!✌✌👍👍

    • @davida7559
      @davida7559 Месяц назад

      GA is not for everyone. Plus not everyone is a compulsive gambler. And most gamblers go into compulsion.

  • @MyOtherChannel-zy3tf
    @MyOtherChannel-zy3tf Месяц назад +2

    You NEED to SELF-BAN yourself from the casino. It's the only way to stop going. It's the best thing I ever did to make me stop. You will not stop on your own.

  • @nohandletobehad
    @nohandletobehad 21 день назад +2

    Hey man you should pay everything in advance. Pay your bills and rent agead of time. Pay utilities agead of time make it so that you are broke. Tell the people at the pay advance to not give you money if you go in there. Tell them about your problem.

  • @christophercarroll6345
    @christophercarroll6345 Месяц назад +2

    You can do this big dawg!

  • @kiettalking
    @kiettalking Месяц назад +1

    Relapse is ok my friend. Ask yourself do you want instant gratification or long term gratification

  • @buyystocks
    @buyystocks Месяц назад +2

    Find other thing to do. I just switched to get addicted to the gym and I go to the gym 7days a week anytime I’m bored I go to the gym helps me sleep better too and feel better

  • @ZekeRam
    @ZekeRam Месяц назад +2

    Dude, I feel for you and I'm not saying take any order but you're in California under prop 22. It's almost $21 an hour base plus .30 a mile in LA. You're probably making less money sitting around waiting for a good order.

  • @ASTROLOGICWORLD
    @ASTROLOGICWORLD Месяц назад +3

    Bro you said you will stop till New Year!!
    That should be the plan.
    You need someone to hold you accountable.
    Reply here whenever you want to do the drug.
    I will give you the talk

  • @trentmsteel
    @trentmsteel Месяц назад +2

    Only one problem I see with your plans and that is baddies only respect finances.

  • @ismtm
    @ismtm Месяц назад +2

    You need to start thinking about the true cost of the money that you are losing. This might help you quit. Based on your tax bracket, $100 loss is really $115 lost (SE tax or fica and medicare) if you are earning less than $15k per year and all the way to $225 lost for every $100 loss if you are in the higher brackets (fica, Medicare, sdi then your state and federal taxes). It just isn't worth it.

  • @darlenemartinez8607
    @darlenemartinez8607 Месяц назад +12

    Cheaper to be an alcoholic

  • @patricialewis-payton7114
    @patricialewis-payton7114 Месяц назад +3

    Take one ☝️ day at a time. Please 🙏 go god to in prayer. That's what I had to do. My mental health was starting take a toll on me. I just won a lot of money. And paid off my bills off. I started going back to church.

  • @hugovaz777
    @hugovaz777 Месяц назад +2

    Why dont you go back to the beginning of your gambling addiction and what caused it? Gambling addiction is usually caused by trauma, it is a way to escape reality, what are you running away from?

  • @tenzin3409
    @tenzin3409 Месяц назад +2

    It seems like I will never be able to quit😢

    • @sonnykeith8338
      @sonnykeith8338 Месяц назад +1

      Keep praying and ask God to give you the strength you need to stop gambling. When you are not gambling, you are winning. I wish you all the best, and I will say a prayer for you.

  • @LuckyScratchersSlots
    @LuckyScratchersSlots Месяц назад +1

    How much did you lose?

  • @sonnykeith8338
    @sonnykeith8338 Месяц назад +1

    You talk the talk now walk the walk. I mean that totally respectfully and I wish you all the very best. If you are working you are not spending. Work the clock round if you need to. Do anything to distract yourself and keep you out of the casino.

  • @drop6597
    @drop6597 Месяц назад +2

    Hey man you need to replace one addiction with another in order to beat this. Its what I had to do. Have you thought about playing world of warcraft or some game that will give you the same feelings as gambling but without the extreme loss? Maybe get into sports cards or pokemon cards or something . lol. You must also self ban from these casinos, but they know you won't because they give you 'free plays' and comps which seem too good to just 'throw away'. Those will cause relapses every single time. Just self ban. Also exercise.

  • @PaulKloos-m6b
    @PaulKloos-m6b Месяц назад +2

    all i do is work and watch gamblings vids and when im hot i gamble alot lately its been cold just working here in thr midwest. hey at least your blessed ti do uber eats and have a car insurance good job gamblings crazy bad man it gets alot of people apparently as ive watched so many videos and read some books on it

  • @AffectionateWindsurfing-bh6ej
    @AffectionateWindsurfing-bh6ej Месяц назад +1

    Ever think about getting a job at a casino. The pay would help with bills and the atmosphere will curb the gambling addiction. Your grown, you are the soulition to your problems!

  • @princess2upretty
    @princess2upretty Месяц назад +1

    I think your plan is sound!!! Pay your bills first and rest to pay off your debt (see Dave Ramsey’s snowball plan). Cash earned by gig apps used for food and gas. I do the same, I pay for my food and extra expenses with DoorDash money. My paycheck is for bills and savings. I don’t want to use my paycheck for food, gas, outings, etc.

  • @keithcitizen4855
    @keithcitizen4855 Месяц назад

    I was bitten by the bug with early amazing good luck of winning club lucky door prizes , many years since then gambling addiction fortunately has only just been a nuisance .

  • @PatriciaRoman-sr5ho
    @PatriciaRoman-sr5ho Месяц назад +1

    Gambling sucks. I love playing scratchers and lose most of the time. Hang in there stay and strong. Find a new hobby to take

  • @Zak-jt6nk
    @Zak-jt6nk Месяц назад +2

    Sign yourself out of the casino permanently if you cant control yourself in the casino to the point youre talking about struggling with rent and food. Im a dealer and gambler and you are just going in circles making $20 just so you can eat cuz you gambled your whole paycheck away you arent winning and most people in the casino arent winning so if you dont sign yourself out you 100% will relapse again and repeat the cycle. I would be in the same boat as you but being a dealer makes it so my closest casino is 2 hours away so i cant go on work days and i have a kid so very rarely i can go on weekends i get no holidays off or weekends either. If i ever stopped working at my closest casino the one i work at, im instantly signing myself out.
    Also its not a relapse when 7 days ago you made a video about losing a bunch of money gambling you are still an active addict. If a heroin addict goes 2 days clean because they cant find it that doesnt mean they were cured for 2 days they still an addict. I assume you just didnt have money then ur paycheck hits and you "relapse".

  • @ciararespect4296
    @ciararespect4296 Месяц назад +1

    Can't you go bankrupt like a debt relief order? That way the credit cards etc will be scrubbed. It's only for a year. You can't be a director or get more loans but that's a good thing for you anyway

  • @rongee3781
    @rongee3781 Месяц назад

    Know your LIMIT PEOPLE. I do like casino but with limitation. I go there for fun and the thrill.

  • @scottputnam4870
    @scottputnam4870 Месяц назад +3

    Hes got bill collectors blowing up how phone every few minutes! Lol. Seriously though bro you need to just quit. It never gets better. I mean what are you trying to achieve? There are much healthier ways to get what it is you are looking for

  • @wazindo
    @wazindo Месяц назад +3

    Man get out of Cali. Hopefully the reset in Phoenix helps. But you playing from behind in Cali from the start. Then gambling addiction makes it worse

  • @spino1i
    @spino1i Месяц назад

    Famous last words lol

  • @150byAug28th
    @150byAug28th Месяц назад

    Why are you going to the sports bar and over paying for drinks ?

  • @drewdurrrrwill5423
    @drewdurrrrwill5423 Месяц назад

    You only lost your not addicted no gamble no future keep trying keep going don’t let a lose make you feel like your an addict

  • @anthonym3351
    @anthonym3351 Месяц назад +4

    Have you considered hypnosis? I've had great success. Essentially you would record an audio putting yourself in a relaxed state, there you can access the subconscious mind which controls our behaviours. I've seen smoker drinkers etc have miracles I'm convinced it can help.

  • @SPARKLISWEETS
    @SPARKLISWEETS Месяц назад

    Dude- just stick with it. History is filled with people who lost and lost before scoring their big hit. If there were no winners, there would be no gambling. Good luck!

  • @zemzem8323
    @zemzem8323 Месяц назад

    Are you gambling due to childhood traumatic events? In order to be in recovery you will need to find what those childhood traumatic events were and get closure somehow. This is very important otherwise there will always be a high chance of relapse.

  • @Vahagraphy
    @Vahagraphy Месяц назад

    Uber eats is a scam, rideshare is a scam.

  • @justincoble6227
    @justincoble6227 Месяц назад

    Can you tell us how it started and why your addiction got so bad?.
    Also, you should open an ira or high yield savings that your FORCING yourself to put 5-10% of your weekly income into as an emergency savings account
    Hope you can destroy that vice ❤

  • @lheftw1376
    @lheftw1376 Месяц назад

    If you’re only losing a few hundred when you gamble it’s all good. A few hundred a day won’t hurt, but keep it manageable. Don’t loosen the screws and start playing big, keep it small and just play a few hundred each time. If you go every other day and only lose a couple hundred each time it’s only $3k a month which shouldn’t affect anyone’s life. You’re good man, just don’t start betting big and keep it to yourself a few hundred a day.

    • @Felzy3.14
      @Felzy3.14 Месяц назад +1

      You’re not well

    • @lheftw1376
      @lheftw1376 Месяц назад

      @ What do you mean sir?

    • @lheftw1376
      @lheftw1376 Месяц назад

      @ Im not wealthy by any means and I work an hourly job where I barely make 6 figures annually and I keep my gambling in check by only going 3 days/week and losing a max of $500 when I go. It’s worked for me for 30 years.

    • @dreday1788
      @dreday1788 Месяц назад

      The guy isn't looking for ppl like you to trigger his demons bro cut the shit

    • @bb-1359
      @bb-1359 Месяц назад

      Strong advice 😅

  • @dreday1788
    @dreday1788 Месяц назад

    You should just use this as an outlet make videos like you have been and be a example this could be a new way out of wanting to gamble. Day by day bro.

  • @DONHARRISONMUSIC
    @DONHARRISONMUSIC Месяц назад

    Do not gamble save your money 💰

  • @rogerp9168
    @rogerp9168 Месяц назад

    987 Dragon Boom!

  • @Orlando_Steve
    @Orlando_Steve Месяц назад

    Bro you aren't making any money with this apps. And having access to what little pay you get every day makes it easier to gamble it away every day. Get a W2 job that pays every 2 weeks.

  • @emazonreviews6269
    @emazonreviews6269 Месяц назад +1

    You bet on the Chiefs huh so did I dropped 2k

  • @rudolfoceronjr
    @rudolfoceronjr Месяц назад

    You need to go to church when you can it will help. And be social. I like gambling too and i risk alot when I try im indebt but i think can still go gambling and win and it will help pay some bills. I tried so many times. But i know now it will never be enough. Even when I win. Its a loss before you go. Because you know its a 80/20 chance you will not win. 80 being the casino and 20 being your hard earned cash. It takes 6 hours to make $100. And 10 min to lose it. The thought is insane

  • @jimmyland7899
    @jimmyland7899 Месяц назад +1

    Just find something else, your 45 now is not a excuse, cause my all went gambling no one can't make $$$! Don't gamble again!!!

  • @Successful__Businessman
    @Successful__Businessman Месяц назад +1

    Self exclude yourself from casinos and make a video about that

  • @tompriceusmc
    @tompriceusmc Месяц назад +1

    My former boss was very wealthy, and he used to go to the casino once a week and drop thousands. (Although he did win a lot as well).
    I asked him once: "You're already rich----why gamble?"
    And he answered, "Rich people are the ONLY ones who should gamble, because we're the only ones who can afford to lose."

  • @billyjohnson9166
    @billyjohnson9166 Месяц назад +1

    Really a relapse? Stop it. No it's not ok. Make up your mind and stop gambling. ITS ENOUGH

  • @gregorychalmers2466
    @gregorychalmers2466 Месяц назад +1

    You’re going to end up on the street

  • @richj011
    @richj011 25 дней назад

    This guy's hustle is for you feel sorry for him and get views. Nice move

  • @zeekman7223
    @zeekman7223 Месяц назад

    You need to find a hobby that takes your time up. Try disc golf

  • @HarryHamsterChannel
    @HarryHamsterChannel Месяц назад +1

    I bet you can't do it on your own. Get help,

  • @rstefanie2622
    @rstefanie2622 Месяц назад

    You are addicted to the action brother, NOT the money. Money is nothing but a mechanism for your addiction & not the final outcome. You're def missing the mark here. Many gamble for many other reasons other than money. Depression. Escape. Inabilities to cope with reality. Seek help, otherwise your doing nothing but mental masturbation here.

  • @Buceesfanmaarten
    @Buceesfanmaarten Месяц назад +3

    There’s a lot of money to be made in online poker. Gambling isn’t bad, you just need to do it the right way.

  • @swaglordgio
    @swaglordgio Месяц назад +1

    Bro what you need to do is put your check on a blackjack hand and when you win, stop gambling there and never come back again

  • @andre7733
    @andre7733 Месяц назад +5

    I am now unsubscribing, these relapse episodes of yours are triggering me. I wish you well.

  • @JasonConner0023
    @JasonConner0023 Месяц назад +3

    Jesus shed his blood on the cross and died for our sins and resurrected after 3 days ✝️

  • @150byAug28th
    @150byAug28th Месяц назад +1

    Do you really have a gambling addiction ? Or you using “gambling addiction” to draw views and interest to your channel … no one would be interested channel if you “recover” from your gambling addiction

    • @lifeinlosangelescalifornia1493
      @lifeinlosangelescalifornia1493  Месяц назад +1

      This channel is not only about gambling addiction. I made this channel to talk about different topics from sports to gig work to limo driving etc etc etc

  • @swaglordgio
    @swaglordgio Месяц назад

    You need to look into the stock market right now my friend the crypto market is sort of booming put some money into $ondo before it reaches a dollar now’s a good time it’s about to go up, I’m just trying to help you out man

  • @darlenemartinez8607
    @darlenemartinez8607 Месяц назад +3

    You said that many times and keep doing it go to gamble anonymous

    • @lifeinlosangelescalifornia1493
      @lifeinlosangelescalifornia1493  Месяц назад +1

      A gambling addict has a difficult time quitting. I am making progress compared to last year. Yes i can say today that im not going to gamble but can relapse again and gamble tomorrow, so thats why i stay busy doing youtube and doordash deliveries to reduce my gambling urges.

    • @billyjohnson9166
      @billyjohnson9166 Месяц назад +2

      STOP IT. GO TO GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS NOW.

    • @Roberto-ie6hk
      @Roberto-ie6hk Месяц назад +1

      @@lifeinlosangelescalifornia1493You are only keeping yourself busy until your next paycheck comes in. Be honest with yourself.

  • @allday2494
    @allday2494 Месяц назад

    You need to talk to someone and get a sponsor to talk to when you get an urge. The Uber eats is a quick hit like gambling both my friends are addicts and when there dry they run Uber eats and gamble the scraps they make. It’s like it goes hand and hand the fast pace of the orders and getting that money instantly. I would say you should stop the Uber eats gig and find something else. Start to study stocks/crypto and put $100 bucks in there trade it around and maybe that can help and it’s like gambling without a house edge. I get the same rush.