Signs of a Toxic Friendship | Tips + Advice
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- Hi loves! Happy International Women’s day!!
I wanted to make this video that was very requested on my Instagram recently.
My outfit is linked below :)
Outfit:
Sweatshirt- bit.ly/2Fn62bB
Joggers- bit.ly/2Fo8tuA
Love,
Valeria
"If not now, then when"
I like that a lot
I don't have friends Valeria.
I like being alone.
I'm introverted.
Lots of people surrounding me makes me feel drained and anxious.
Thanks for the advice though❤⚘
I am the same :) All I need to feel happy is my boyfriend.
Selvi Biever
Same omg
Annabelle Joy Manansala i dont really believe in signs and stuff.
I'm very religious though.
Annabelle Joy Manansala wait is this common among Capricorns? I don’t really believe in signs, but I was just about to comment on how I am introverted to the point where I don’t necessarily know how to form relationships
i'm a capricorn, why would you say that?
I've had (best)friends until recently that fit this description almost perfectly. It took me a long time to realize that there's nothing to 'fix' there and that I just have to move on. Also, small tip: Beware of those, whose words don't match their actions. Some might seem very nice until it's just talks, while they manage to flake when you need them. Don't be afaird of being alone either. Loneliness is not being on your own, but being in the wrong crowd.
Thank you for the video Valeria, and good luck to everybody 💕
I was in some toxic friendships and is not good i was always feeling bad of myself and they always made me feel like i wasn't enought because i am quiet and shy so they are "better". So i realized that louder is not better than quiet and i am who i am and that is enought so i don't see that kind of people anymore. Now i have better persons that make me a better person everyday. And i have to say that one of my friends that inspire me and makes me better and helps me is a person that i don't even know in real life but is the best influence i ever ever eeeever had. That it's you Valeria, thank youuuu!!❤❤❤
Same here In high school I always wanted to be communicative and have a lots of friends. I spend a lot's of time and energy doing things just because I think that will be cool. And I don't enjoy that time because I always analyzed things and thinking what to say. In the end I realized that's I don't need so much friends and to do things I don't like. I am happy now with a few closest friends.
+Juli Ane For me talk about problems always come first. If some person after all these conversations don't understand that something he/she do make me feel bad I just distancing from he/she litlle by little of course. I will concentrate on school and some other activities and then I met some cool people.
Ana Varga you are so so sweet and I’m very proud of you for realizing what’s the best environment for you ❤️❤️❤️
Valeria Lipovetsky ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I had a friendship with a narcissistic female, it was awful. When i decided to do something about my weight and health and actually lost weight and she would sit there telling me i still had a fat gut.but there were other, more subtle insults . I noticed after spending time with this girl i would feel drained, depressed, and with no self esteem. i cut all contact with this Person, and since then feel amazing. The subtle ways these' friends' drain you of your energy is insidious. My advice to you would be go no contact, period.
This was the right time to talk about that topic, I finally realize that my best friend was taking down my energy and didn’t understand why after coming home I didn’t want to see her again the next day, it felt uncomfortable, very helpful, thank you sweetheart for your advice 💕
Vicky Beauty same same
I felt the very same way. Had no will or power even to chat with her. Thank you for sharing this story
Same x
' Someone that doesn't know how to be happy for you...' Oh yes indeed.
I cut all ties with my ex best friend of 6 years when I realised how toxic she was, that she wanted me to do 'good' but nothing better than her, she was constantly talking about herself and about her perfect life and never about mine and the list goes on. I realised how miserable I felt when I was hanging out with her and how emotionally drained I was so I feel like I did the right thing. It's hard to break away from what is familiar and comfortable, but change will make you stronger, even if it will be hard at first and you will feel lonely. Often times 'friends' who hold you back are afraid of your potential.
i literally needed these words so much right now. i decided to stop my friendship which lasted for 5 years, it was a really tough thing to do. but all the signs were there. i couldn’t understand my pessimism and depressive constant mood and was feeling guilt all the time. that was an enforced guilt actually, which i understood a bit later. i thought thats ok that i start feeling awful when she feels awful. like we ship pain. but then i realized she was exaggerating all the things in her life and was so aggressive against me when i felt ok or happy. like my life couldn’t be better at any moment than her life.(like she thought literally). like my relationship couldn’t be stronger than her one. like if she had fights with her bf she was so mad that she didn’t receive same stories from me where we fight. i loved her so much and couldn’t make it end for a YEAR. now i try to move on and see her in the surroundings she hated but she is still there and even looks happy with people i thought were bringing so much discomfort and pain to her. i think we just can’t fully know someone. even if we believe they are best versions, it is still their choice which version to be.
Hiya. I’ve experienced all of the things mentioned in the video while being friends with one person. We lived together, were in the same course and had work placement together.
I was always surrounded with negativity, her jealousy and felt that i gave a lot and never had anything in return. I felt like a bin where the person could trash her complaints everyday. I just felt how life is sucked out if me turning me into zombie, not giving any energy for interaction with other people.
And when someone else showed me kindness, I felt so grateful as if i was deprived from kindness and care for a long time..
It was a traumatic experience that broke me down inside and made me feel guilty for being myself, for existing. I felt like i lost my inner peace and I wouldn’t wish that to anyone else.
So if you notice any of those signs, run away or else you’ll regret the consequences.
Honestly i struggled with a toxic friendship.........twice. The things you said exactly explained the things i went through and i am happy i made the decision of getting them out of my life. All you need are people that understand you and support you. For now there is just one person that i can really call my frend and i don't mind the fact that she is only one because you don't need a lot of friends to be happy.
Not gd to continue with toxic friends,it will damage u.
I had a toxic friendship at some point in my life. It was crucial for my confidence. Once I ended this relationship and surrounded myself with good people, I changed so much. Don't be afraid to walk away from anything that doesn't make you happy ;)
Videos like this really helped me realize that my best friend wasn't a good person to be with. She wasn't horrible but she drained my energy, never made me happy, and always dragged me into situations not because she wanted my support and advice but because she wanted me to pity her. I will never allow myself to be in a relationship like that anymore because I am so much happier as I keep her at a distance. Thank you so much
I’ve been fighting with my “best friend” for about two weeks, and I could tell that I needed to end the friend ship. Although, I wasn’t sure whether it was the right choice, but after watching this I can see that she fits into all of them 😕
Can you make a video on how to feel beautiful... I’ve been struggling a lot 🙁
she has a video about that ruclips.net/video/La3bFMSweJo/видео.html
Chelsea Byrne Yeah, but that’s about modeling and stuff... I’m talking about self esteem and things on the inside. I’ve seen this video and I love it, thanks ❤️
Simona Taseva ++
Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I think it’s fine not to feel beautiful? As long as someone doesn’t hate the way they look or feel terrible about their appearance I think it’s fine to just accept the way you look
Like once someone realizes they have so much more than their appearance then it doesn’t matter so much
I would say the best friends are honest ones. They may not always tell you what you want to hear. It's important to distinguish what is toxic from what is truth. When people push our buttons...It's generally because there is truth to thier words. That's the time we need to reflect on ourselves and see why these people bother us.
Nadia Pet I agree! You notice a big difference between an opinion/ advice that is meant to protect you and be for your own good when it comes from a friend and a snarky remark or criticism that doesn’t do anything but put you down.
yes! I don't like people that put sugar on everything or always agree with me. It's okay, but I like it when someone can be brutally honest
“Better to be alone than surrounded by bad people” I believe were her words and I agree. You can only handle one needy friend at a time and that’s only if you yourself are happy, content, have your emotional life together. That’s what I think. Usually young mothers need quality friends for support or no friends but don’t settle for a back biting mean friend because you’re desperate.
I like all your points but the energy one I disagree with to a point. Some people are shy or have anxiety around new people so they're not gonna give off a great energy until you get to know them a little better and they feel comfortable around you. A lot of people mistake shy people for snobs or whatever.
Diana I believe she meant it to be taken in each case as repeated behavior. If you are friends (in a friendship relationship) with someone then you have broken down those walls. But you do a raise a good reminder about shy people.
If you trust your intuition you’ll notice how fast you can recognize bad energy and shy energy. Interacting with snob or shy people doesn’t drain your energy- it might be a little socially awkward but you get through it. The energy drainers are the complainers, the negative, judgmental, self centred people- trust me you’ll notice your energy levels get sucked out of you when you around them.
@@ValeriaLipovetsky I agree ♡
Valeria Lipovetsky it happened to me and I know how it feels.
The simplicity and depth of your words are super important for understanding and be able to implement these principle and benefit from them! Thanks Valeria 💕💕💕
Omg all those points are sooooo true, can’t agree more ! You’re so wise and full of positivity 💕
I’ve been in a few toxic friendships and luckily always made it out of there... it’s important to identify them and be aware of what makes you happy and that you don’t need those people to be happy . The older I get the more I learn that I don’t need to change to be loved. And that is key!!! Thanks for the good advice 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻💕
Being alone can bring peace and clam in your life 😌 Never be afraid to be alone. Independence can bring its own rewards!
you give the best tips and you're absolutely stunning !! Actually needed a video on this topic so badly, thank you so much for those tips
I have a toxic friend, the problem is that we've been friends since kindergarten. We really were until middle school, then something changed and I just kept waiting for it to go back the way it was, but it never did. She always criticizes me, never congratulate me when something good happen to me and if I start talking about it she changes subject, she's jealous of the way I look and every tiny mistake I make she emphasizes it and tells me that I'm a mess. This been said, she is part of this historic group of friends, and with the others I don't have problems... How do I cut only her off? Plus we always make promises to be friends forever and I feel so fake, but I don't know what to do if not agree.
Anyway, I'm so glad for the internet and so glad for your channel Valeria, thank you for being an amazing friend for all of us around the world. You're a light. ❤️
This advice helps me a lot , and helps me to remind me that I'm doing the things good , cause eventhough I've lost many "friends" , I have noticed in the journey ,that those were not real ones , so thanks a lot , because this reminds me that we need and we deserve the best in our lives. Greetings and Blessings from Perú.
This is such a necessary video !!
It's really important to realize that some people won't change and that's how they are so all you can to do is step away and get them out of your life. I recently realized that and stopped being friends with one of my long-time best friends. I think some people change through the years and they are not the same as when you met them. They may be insecure about a lot of things and they become aggressive and overly defensive because of that. I call that complex and jealousy. A real friend won't find excuses to fight with you about stupid things and they won't "attack" you with their aggressive and immature attitude. You don't want to be surrounded by people who will ruin and infect your peace. So say goodbye to them even though it's sad that your friendship was led to this, ESPECIALLY when they won't acknowledge it and apologize. I got so sick of giving hundred of chances, so I ultimately ended the friendship.
Unfortunately, she's in my group of closed friends so I have to hang out with that person but I try not to pay attention.
Yes, so so true! Also, people that always talk negatively about things, not necessarily about you but who can't stop criticising anything. I know one extreme example of such a person and when we talked literally every single thing he said was in some way negative like "Yeah I travelled there and I thought it was quite okay for a [negative preconception]" or "Oh you went to that restaurant, too? Isn't it so hard to get the waiters' attention there?" and so on. In the beginning I didn't realise that, as I sometimes shared his opinion (when something was literally very annoying, like running around to get a document for another document that states that you don't need a document 😅😭), but I remember always feeling so so tired and negative after our conversations or even after grabbing lunch together, so I started reflecting on the topics of our discussions and it occurred to me that every single thing was negative in some kind. I then still met the persona few times and actively listened to how he portrayed experiences and when I saw that my conclusion was right I made the cut. Personally I thought it was going to be hard, but after a short break I noticed how much better my mood was and how much more positive I was becoming, reflecting again on my other friendships, so I don't regret the decision at all 😄
I just realized that i am in a toxic friendship and was in a toxic relationship.
The friends i have would always remind me of my follies and the things i didn't have. i would rarely ever get a compliment even when i deserved one. Many times i felt so unhappy in their company but i didn't let go because i was scared if i would be able to make new friends. But no more. I'm letting them go.
Hi, how's your situation? I hope you're out of this by now
Your advise really helps me! I’m very giving person, and Im privileged, so every now on then my friends who I thought my friend takes advantage of me. After taken advantage so much I realize it was very toxic.
I've been in a toxic friendship back in 9th grade. It was not just a toxic friendship, those "friends" I had even spread some bs stuffs about me to the point that I was bullied. It was really hard, but since then I've learned my lesson not to instantly trust a person. It may sound a bit negative but it helped me know when to stop a friendship that's on the way of becoming unhealthy...
It's okay to end the friendship or any relationship you have before it's too late. You may feel guilty because of it, but think about how guiltier it would make you feel for yourself at the end if you did not stop it.
you are so very right! i had a best friend, a soul mate, who, as we grew older, started getting really jealous of my life choices. she'd never show encouragement or happiness when i told her about some achievements, and it reached a point where i stopped telling her the good things happening in my life because i didn't want her to feel bad about hers. (needless to say, i always did support her).
i decided to cut my connections with her when she literally told me "i don't feel happy for you when you tell me about all these things..." and now, i've surrounded myself with people who lift me up, who are satisfied in their lives and who will always help me grow instead of pull me down like she did. people i'm not scared to share my happiness with, basically.
She was a very important person in my life who i still love and honor to this day. but you reach a point where you open your eyes to the real world, and you've got to wipe out those who don't clap for your success, when you've clapped for theirs.
Valeriya please do a video on how to make friends for those who have anxiety coming up to people, talking to people and getting out of their bubble:) It sounds so easy, but so hard for some.
Dana M yessss and also - how to date when you are so self aware and clumsy and super shy! Valeria,maybe you can give your input?
I need someone like you in my life
Mariana Villegas I’m here 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻❤️
me too
I can totally relate to this. You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I always refer to negative people as the mood hoovers because you vicariously absorb their mood. Love your videos.
I am lucky enough to have a small group of faithful and caring friends. They've been with me for years now and we are sort of like an extended family for each other.
But I did encounter people along the way that met all these sings you are touching on.
At first, I believed that if I worked hard enough and I tried hard enough I will manage to make the friendship work and they will eventually change. Later on, I understood that if a person doesn't want to change they simply won't and it is time to let go. This was the hardest part for me: to let go, because I was under the impression that *I* was not doing enough, when in fact I was doing more than I should have. Once I came to this conclusion that sinking feeling lifted and the clouds cleared for me in order to sail smoothly towards friendlier environments.
You always have the good advices; calm and constructive and serious. I don’t know it’s a mix of thing that kind of help my everyday life and I’m really thankful because I’m really building myself into someone that I like. I like being me now and I take every positivity into something big and I focus on it and not on the negative aspects that can take me down. And everything combined gives something really good because I feel good, fine and better. Since my dad leave us years ago, I kinda lost myself and seing such comfort and tips in your videos make me feel better and it’s really helpful. Thank you a lot Valeria. You are an inspiration, thank you. I love you!
I had a friend who would tell me i am "big" and "squishy" and she would laugh like it was funny. She also would tell my twin sister how jelous she was of her body and then directly after tell me I was "squishy". She would swear and insult me if something didnt go her way but we finally cut her off and now she is the one alone and suffering the consiquences.
I just ended a two year friendship with a woman that helped me get through my father's death. However, this friendship proved to be toxic. Your video was very succinct in how I feel and you are right. You can't change people and some people are energy drainers and to steer clear of them if you can. They are the rip-currents of life.
Thank you so much for this. I have some friends that are just like this but I can’t distance myself because I have literally every single class with them.
Hope garramone same
I've been there... Those toxic people made me fall into a well of depression and suicidal thoughts :( It was the worst. I tell you - it was THE WORST. I felt like it would never get any better. But I just pushed through, hoping that one day it will all go away - all the bad people and their words. Thank God, it got better! I left all those toxic 'friends' behind and now I'm surounded with positive, lovely souls that I can call my dearest, true friends :) So don't give up. Find something - a goal, person, dream - to help you wake up every day and just push through - if you feel there is really nothing else you can do...
Wishing you all the best and hoping you'll be able to leave the toxic 'friends' behind and become a happy pearson as soon as posible :)
Sending love!
That is an excuse! Are you friends with every single person in your close? No. So you don't have to be friends with toxic people just because they are in your class.
Sit somewhere else. Talk to other people. Partner up with other people. Do group projects with other people. Ask other people for help. Ask other people for the homework... etc.
Its easy really! Its only hard because of your mindset. I used to be like that. Go make better friends
Saaaaaaaame hate itttt
Same
I am going through a very difficult time right now.. my boyfriend and I don't share a healthy relationship but I just feel lost thinking about loosing him ..I needed these words.. thank you so much for caring to speak out to us .. You are in another corner of the world Valeria but still you are sooo close to my heart ..
lots of love and virtual hugs
Hi Valeria, love your videos and life advice as always. One thing I want to add is that some of us watching must BE these toxic friends. Videos and posts about this topic always talk about how to identify toxic people in your life, but hardly ever about how to identify toxic behaviors in yourself and how you can grow to become a better person (friend/lover/family member/...) yourself. If some people in your life treat you badly, it's important to take a step back and at least consider if if they might simply be reciprocating your own behavior. For your happiness, it's key to be able to self-reflect and identify (and hopefully) eliminate toxic behaviors in yourself, so that you can build truly rewarding relationships and lift other people up instead of only searching for people to lift YOU up. Would love to see you do a video on this topic!
F. Meddens very good point and that’s the reason I always promote working on the relationship you have with yourself. When you become connected to who you are your intuition and self reflection get stronger and you become more honest with yourself. I always encourage to have alone time and just reflect and draw lessons from it.
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 in the past I struggled with toxic friendships I was the one who is always giving... But since I met my husband he opend my eyes and chanGed my view...
A year ago I got out of a friendship with a horrible, horrible girl who did or said everything you describe in your video and more. She was so selfish and constantly tried to take me (and other people) down. I sticked with her, because she was so manipulative I just couldn't get out of it. It took me months to heal and get back on track. Eventually it made me stronger and I learned a lot about myself. I now know what a realthy friendship looks like. x
I absolutely agree! You spoke about this beautifully. I find a lot of people stick with the same friends for a long time even after they grow apart from them, whether it be changing values and opinions. We have the idea from when were little that our friends should be together forever. It's a false promise that parents and teachers teach their kids, it really doesn't prepare us for when we grow up especially with the constant and fast pace life we now live in. People grow apart and that's okay, if we teach kids from a young age on how to deal with this people would be more open to making new friends. This includes us adults, who don't even say hi to our neighbors anymore. There's a lot i can say about this but i think you summed it up quite well.
Amazing advices!💕 I had a REALLY toxic friend. Is so difficult when in some point people notice that toxic friendship and you don't, and even sometimes you think they are overreacting but at the end was totally true and is a little sad to think sometime you trust in that person. But when bad things like this are out of your life, everything goes better 😊.
Thanks Valeria. Btw yesss your hair is your superpower, looks BEAUTIFUL 😍❤
Valeria.. you would not believe this but i was just crying about how none of my friends take me seriously when i tell them about how i feel upset. they just reply with "you are over analysing it" and it broke my heart... this video came at the right time..
something to look out for is whether your friend is happy for your accomplishments, or good luck, or whatever it is. if they share your happiness that is a good sign... if they try to poke holes it in & try to bring down your happiness, or if it it brings them down because they are only feeling inferior or sorry for themselves, not good!
You are right on! I was in a few toxic friendships 2 years ago and it took a toll on me. Finally cut them and have never been happier. I think these girls thrived on drama and I was not about that. I had too much to focus on with my kids and these girls just drained me. I wish we were friends in real life! You are wise beyond your years!!!!
Hi valeria! Since the moment i found your channel i think my life has changed for good in some many ways even for getting a healthier life to be more self conscious and empowered as a person and a better human being for the others, i've been in some toxics friendships and since the moment i realized this persons didn't wanted the best for me but pushing me down constantly and decided get away from them in my life, my life has changed sooo much for better, now the things works as they should and have some real friends, thank you for being such a good role model for us in this plataform!🙆🙆
I always wanted to help people and now I'm paying the consequences of that choices, I'm tired I feel empty but I am in a moment of my life where I decided to think more about myself and what makes me feel good. I had to many toxic relationships and friendships and I agree with all that u said first u have to love yourself understand what you want and what makes u feel better and than u know what people do u need in your life.
I just wanna say- it’s not always clearcut in terms of one should always get rid of “energy draining ppl”. I used to be that energy draining person, cz I was going through a really rough time and depression. Now, had my friends followed your advice, Valeria, and “cut me out completely “- I would have struggled even more without that support.
Just putting things into perspective...
always love hearing your wisdom Valeria. It's true, it's better to be your own best friend, rather than be in bad company. I think when you're also happy with yourself and content, then you are far more likely to attract the right people into your life :)
I noticed how every time my life was looking bright she would harshly cut me out cause i’m “draining her energy” . When i decided to break the cycle, confront and let go, she flipped the whole thing and acted like the victim even though she had done that and far worse to me over 15 yrs. now, my life’s looking bright again, been told I’m glowing & full of life. Kinda regret those 15 yrs living in utter darkness & going to therapy cuz i thought something was wrong with me “as she always says” because of some narcissist who saw nothing wrong in her actions. Those people need to be put in jail. Mental abuse & mind games is a crime they seriously damage a person’s soul.
This video makes me feel at peace with myself, rather than seeking company first
You posted this video at really perfect time!!! I needed this at this moment!!! Thanks valeria so happy to have you in my life
More videos like this please!! I love the heart to heart chats where there are no products involved and we just have a chat!
Thanks for the advice. I have a bad relationship with my roommates and sometimes my two roommates hang out or travel and they will not tell me. My roommates know many people and they have party sometimes. I do not know many people, and I always do things alone. I begin to feel lonely and doubt about myself. This feeling doesn't happen before, and the feeling become strong. Sometimes I will think whether I do not fit this society and I am very frustrated. Now I begin to understand that I do not need to make friends who I do not like. That is not my fault, and I can not change people, so I just take away from them.
I agree with you. I recently found out I'm pregnant (I already have a 3 year old) and we were so excited. And when we told our families, there were a couple of people who ruined our announcement for us and sort of made it about themselves. (Jealousy, attention) And it just hurt me very deeply. So I decided to completely be kind but cut them off. And it's been about 2 months, and I'm glad I did. Because since not dealing with them, I just have this sense of happiness within myself and knowing I made a good decision. I knew it was unhealthy for me to be upset over petty things others did that I couldn't change. It would make me physically sick to my stomach. So I would have to agree with Valeria on this 100%.
You are so beautiful in red :)
Thank you Valeria. Really. I have broken up with my boyfriend yesterday and even if I still have feelings for him, he didn't pay attention to me, he never showed me love, there was no communication, I was the only one making efforts. And I wanted to change him but it's clearly impossible. I know my worth and I took the big decision of leaving him. Your video really helped me to understand that I have made the great choice.
love the video valeria!!💓 the thing is all my friends are toxic, constantly criticising me and betraying my trust, i don't want to leave them because i don't want to be lonely. i'm afraid of what people think and i hate that. also, i'm super shy and find it hard to open up to people and make friends.. any tips?💕
moonlightbae x I felt the exact same way that you did. Try talking to someone new and find common interests that you both like see where that takes you because if someone shows compassion towards us then they’re helping the world be a better place for everyone. Empathy. Compassion. Just let them go, you’ll feel happier when you do. Trust me. I’ve been there, that’s what I did, and I’m happier now because I care what I think of myself and what the people that I love think of me. I have best friends that are younger that are like the younger siblings that I never have and I have best friends that are older than me that are like the big siblings that I never had. They were the ones who actually were compassionate towards me instead of the friends that cane before them. Compassion for others is the best thing for someone to have. I hope these tips help you! :)
moonlightbae, You are lonely, these toxic friends are not good for your wellbeing...........You need to try & be strong & move on. You will find yourself & grow to love your strength in leaving this toxic group! I left mine, I’m now stronger & happier & have found other things to feel my time & make me smile. I no longer feel the anxiety or the feelings when I left the room they had something to say about me. I don’t care what they think & I don’t care about them. They mean nothing to me, the thruth is I thank my lucky stars I no longer have them in my life, sending virtual hugs 🤗 to you! X 😘 x
I can literally relate to this all the way
I needed this video honestly
I’ve been in the companionship of a toxic friend and she always wants me to buy her stuff everyday in school and she always acts like a victim of bullying and she always wants to gossip about people in the class everyday which gives me a very bad vibe to start the day
I’ve been trying to avoid contact with her but she’s always so clingy
My friends use to disrespect my feelings.i felt so bad from next time I never shared my personal with them.i feel so lonely whenever with them
This video came on the right time for me ! Thank you so much ❤ It is good to know that sometimes we dont have to fake.And accept that people have their own Journey and their path dont have necessery to cross with ours
GUYS U ARE WATCHING THIS VIDEO FOR A REASON, BC UR HAVING DOUBTS ABOUT UR FRIENDS. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY CUT 👏🏻THEM👏🏻OUT👏🏻I was in a terrible friendship for years and now that it’s over I’m living my best life
108k people have dealt with this including myself. Now I don't feel so alone. Thank you ❤️
Hi Valeria🖤
I really took very serious about the video you made “Never stop learning” and I even always learn a lot with this kind of videos you make.
Thank you very much, you really motivate and help me💕
Valeria! You’re such a beautiful, kind, and wise soul. Thank you for this video- I really needed it. ❤️
i cant imagine how lucky ur husband,ur friends,and especially ur kids, you are so inspirational thank you for making this
Thanks so much for this advice! I'm trying to create distance between myself and two other people in my group of friends because they make bad choices that negatively affect me and I cannot connect with them even after a year of "friendship". However its hard because my significant other and best friend are also in the group :/
Your words are absolutely amazing! Couldn’t have said it better myself! So empowering and inspiring. Love you Val❤️🙌🏻
I loved this video because I've been feeling exhausted around some people lately and I hadn't realised they were toxic relationships.
It seems like you always post the exact videos I need at certain points in my life
You are huge inspiration for me. Every time you publish a video I get sooo exited. Seems like I would talk to my mommy. Thank you for being you
I know this is about friendships but I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year and four months, he always told me how much I sucked for starting arguments etc. Yet he never realised that he was the one who wasn’t being the good boyfriend, I felt neglected and unloved. I gave him the opportunity to try and fix things but instead he just agreed with breaking up and so it was decided. I’m not even amazingly sad, I’m just deeply disappointed, I really thought he was better than he is.
your advices are really amazing.. Just really resonates, at the same time gives practical steps, and explains implications.. Sooo love it
I love this kind of videos but at the same time I hate them because at the end of it I feel soooo stupid because I'm surrounded by people that don't deserve my "energy" and i don't know how to change it, i'm too nice to say to a person that i don't want to be friend with them anymore and i don't know what to do and how...but thank you anyway♥️
I love this video,Valeria💜 i actually commented about toxic friendships and im kinda touched that you uploaded this video ! It was really helpful. Thank you💜💜💜
Valeria. I love you so much. The reason why i love to watch your video is because you always gives us a positive, loving energy that i absolutely adore. So can you please please make a video on how to have a positive energy and being happy with yourself?
Very grateful to have you. ...everyone is a good message for the world
I recently stopped a friendship with my " group " that i spent 2-3 years with. I'm not really sure if they were really toxic like the signs u said in the video but i definitely knew that it was just my time to go. We fought a few times but the last fight we had made me realize it. I felt like i was giving more than them ( as u said ) bc when someone was provoking them, i was there for them, because that's what a friend does but when i was getting sworn at and that people were provoking , they didn't react. I mean, i know that everybody don't have a strong personnality and i didn't expect them to yell at them but just a little attention to me, just a little sign that they cared about me but there were nothing. So i stopped hanging out with them, they didn't understand why so i tried to calmly eplain that it was just my time to go, i didn't feel like myself anymore but they didn't want to listen. It's like we were playing a game. They wanted to have the last word and that was just immature. Now, i sometimes hang out with a girl but i prefer staying alone because i don't have any hope in " friends " anymore lmao
The best video on YT considering “Toxic Friends” topic. Thank you for this video. Loved it. It helped me a lot.
Absolutely agree with that
Clean your own Universe.
I learn that lesson 27 years old and from this time until now I live much more better💯👍🌼
Better be alone than in a bad Company 🤗 that's me
The day i saw this video i was about to break up with my friend cause she just want to spent a lot more time with her boyfriend and when i saw the advice DO NOT TRY YO CHANGE PEOPLE suddenly everything was solved 💘💘THANK YOU VAL I LOVE YOU 😍😍💘🥂
You speak the truth girl👌 I felt like this with my ex! Always felt exhausted & tired after seeing him, always felt like he was trying to change me... so glad I watched this video. You give great advice❤ more advice videos please, I love them 😍x
It’s nice to have such a positive role model ! Keep being this way! ✨
Thank you so much for making this video!! I’ve been there and I had to learn the hard way. Everything you mentioned is absolutely true 👏🏻 Please make more 💕☺️
You’re such an inspiration and are having such a good charisma 🧡 continue your passion !!
You're like an older sister for me, I'm very grateful to you for all your advices and motivation :)
I really wanted help with this thing here.. so me and my bestie have been like, together for 10+ years, and we have a very good bonding. But sometimes I feel I am the only one being attentive to what she says and stuffs. Ofc, she listens to me too, but sometimes I feel like she doesn't really pays attention to my problems. From my side, I try to be as attentive as possible to what she is struggling with, or is sensitive about. But I dont actually feel she does the same. No hard feelings, I've got my shortcomings too and I'm glad she always understands everything... but i just don't really open up to everyone like she does, so she doesn't understand how I feel when she does not seem to be interested in what I say. Now we had a fight because of this and i started tearing up. She couldn't understand what was so big about it, and she left. She apologised, but I just couldn't bring myself to explain properly how I feel. And now I feel like trash for shouting at her. Please help.
You got such deep insight and wise thoughts, I so appreciate your videos and you are just such an inspiration!
Valeria thank you so much for your advice! It was perfect timing and I really needed to hear that today! You’re absolutely inspiring!
95% of those that I befriend are toxic relationships. Only 5% of people that I befriended aren’t apart of toxic relationships with me.
I had a friend who kicked me, slapped me, punched me, strangled me 3 or 4 times, even cussed me out a few times, but the worst thing that person did was turn me into the worst version of myself. Had I not gotten out sooner I would’ve been in a worst position and would’ve become someone who’s very lost with what’s happened because of that person. I haven’t talked to that person in 7 months and I am happier now than I was when I was friends with her. I was blind because I thought I found a real friend but I was wrong. She hasn’t contacted me and I haven’t contacted her. She did too much damage to me in my life that if I see her again I would possibly go and hide somewhere to be away from her.
2 friends didn’t think that I was worth talking too, which is very sad because I talked to them and hung out with then throughout camp. 1 if them repeatedly hurt my feelings and made me feel like I was nothing. The other is hard to describe or rather it’s hard to say. I didn’t hear from them until I got a text message, and we texted a little bit. Until I got another string of text messages that read,
“ Nice
Hey
So listen
U listenin?
I’m not really trying to be mean and you’re really nice to talk to but I just don’t really have a reason to talk to you and really neither does Corbin and he’s sorta too nice and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.
No hard feelings.”
Just the way I read it, just the way it sounded; made me feel like someone who doesn’t even matter to others which hurts the most for what they did. I cried my eyes out, and I cried myself to sleep that night, while watching scenes of a movie that make me cry every time I watch it; because of the death of a character ( The Book of Henry).
Then I watched Homeward Bound The Incredible Journey as well as Anne With An E, which made me feel all the more better. I even cried for a majority of school the next day because of those messages that I received.
I never heard from them again nor have they contacted me again since that night.
I had friends who mocked me, abused me ( mentally, verbally, and physically), and yet I was afraid of them because of the fact that they were the only real friends that I had at the time. I had friends who stabbed me in the back, mocked me, even are unkind to me when we text or talk to each other. As someone whose had the courage to get away and break free from that situation was probably one of the greatest things I did. I learned to love myself which is very important for someone who was experiencing that in my life.
This is such an important learning for all of us. You have put it so right in your video. Thank you so much for sharing!
What sucks is when you stop being friends with toxic people but the toxic "ex-friend" keeps tabs on you . I've even blocked and unfriended them and they even went as far as to reactivating an old instagram account so they could block me back.(meaning they tried looking me up and couldn't find me) WHat sucks is that she is dating my boyfriend's cousin so i can't fulling get rid of her. It sucks. I just decided that making new friends is so scary and hard that I've kept to my two close friends and my boyfriend. I loved your video
I used to be in one but am so glad I’m out of that situation!! Great video, you have such a kind spirit xx
Omg the timing of this video was perfect, I needed reassurance in reconsidering a friendship
Thank you❤️ your advice was so fresh and real
I'm struggling with a friend. We used to be close, but this year a lot of happened in my life and I changed a lot. Now I feel that she drains me and makes me feel very negative and pessimistic about everything and I already struggle with depression. I dont want to argue with her or hurt her, but I dont feel close to her anymore and we disagree on a lot of things :/ Thank you for this video!
you're such a wise and inspirational person! you inspired me to start my own blog. I started today and I am really excited!