The psychology of your future self | Dan Gilbert
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- Опубликовано: 2 июн 2014
- "Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished." Dan Gilbert shares recent research on a phenomenon he calls the "end of history illusion," where we somehow imagine that the person we are right now is the person we'll be for the rest of time. Hint: that's not the case.
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"The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting, and as temporary as all the people you've ever been. But one constant in our life is change."
that is called "impermanence" in Buddhism ( instant to instant change and transformation) also a Greek contemporary of the times of Buddha say “No man ever steps in the same river twice. For it's not the same river and he's not the same man.” Heraclitus
@Koopa 😂 I just happened to look at the comments after I listened to this for the second time.
Gabriella quoted, essentially verbatim, the last thing the speaker said to conclude his talk.
I'm assuming you overlooked she put it in quotation marks to acknowledge the speaker.
boom !!!
"Human beings are work in progress that mistakenly thinks they are finished" kudos
This is my motto in life
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit
this is from a book. but i cant remember what book 😕
Aristotle said it.
niken prabandaru Atomic Habits
Aristotle: "We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit"
You get what you repeat.
In an odd way, this really cheered me up.
I know exactly what you mean
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.” ~ Heraclitus
10 years? stuff that I change music preferences every week.
I'll remember that quote :)
You've probably changed a lot now.
6 years after you said this, you must be a totally different person by now
Ten years ago, I was a judgemental 20 year old, who thought she had everything figured out and knew how she would handle every possible situation perfectly. Now I am 30 and the main thing I have learned is never to judge people for experiences you have not had, because it might be different from what you think it is.
Is getting a job difficult and how do you get determine to do the job
Just came across this video so apologies for the LONG time (six years!). I really resonated with this comment. I'm 33 right now in 2021, and boy do I understand what you mean. In my late teens and early 20's I was obsessed with enjoyment and pleasure and yes, being judgemental. Never went to high school, 1.02 college GPA, loved weed and abusing the newfound freedom of my license.
Now at 33 and out on my own for the first time, I see how many friendships died because I outgrew pizza and bong rips at 9 AM instead of going to class. Around 24 I went back to school and finished with my finance degree and a 3.96 GPA in 2018. I still keep in touch with that fun side (just put in lots of effort to build an Alice in Wonderland themed smoking room in my house!), but I know I may look back in 10 years and think "WHAT was I THINKING?!". Mistakenly thinking I'm finished indeed!
Annie Oakley
Do you have anything to say about the video again after 7 years ?
Now you are 38, how does it feel like
@@TomMcMorrowthank you for this comment 🙏🏿
the one constant thing in our life is change.wow
I guess it's really hard or maybe even impossible to imagine yourself being a person you are not. I remember a specific instance eight years ago when I met a woman who happened to be from the country where I've now been living for two years. When I met her, I had no idea I'd be living here and I couldn't speak a word of the language. When I think back to this encounter now (I remember it quite well because she was beautiful and my dad couldn't keep his eyes off her, ha!) I always wonder for a split second why I didn't speak Slovak with her and then I realise "O! I couldn't speak Slovak then!" But I can't imagine myself now being a person who doesn't speak Slovak. It's impossible for me to imagine (try it). So, when I remember something, I'm putting my current self into my former body...
this doesnt have so many views, but its more interesting than any popular ted talks in my opinion😆
This is exactly what makes life so interesting and fascinating. We will never be 100% sure what the future is going to look like for us, but at the same time it is filled with wonder and immense possibilities
This talk couldn't have come in a better period for me. Thank you professor, you cleared up a lot of things.
It's great to think that no matter where you are in life you can change and will change. Let's just hope it's for the better!
Thinking that we'll stay the same in the future helps keep us motivated in what we're doing in the present. It's more difficult to put effort into your work/hobbies/relationships if you think those will change in the future. It's hard to fight for what you believe in if you think those beliefs are likely change.
wow, that's exactly how I feel sometimes! I always feel like everything I prefer, every trait of my personality, my taste, my expectations, my ambitions will change at any moment. Hence I'm fearful of commitment to anything!
Very nicely said. I think you are right
It can. It can also be the opposite. People thinking they are unchangeable and therefore waste their chances of change.
''This is me, I have always been this way'' kind of thought
But either way it is destructive in its own way, I guess?
I think that there is always a sweet spot & nuances when it comes to these things
@@karabella456 yessssss
This was one powerful ted talk. I hope i come back to this video 10 years later and see how much I’ve changed
I might come back as well.
This is your reminder you have 8 more years.
"The person we are is transient, fleeting and will alter at a period of time. Changes is the only constant in the world. "
Agree. That means what I have now will change a month later. What I want now will change a year later. What situations we have now will change depending how we imagine our lives would be with course of actions of course.
I've added this to my favorites.
However, when he talks about favorite music, well when I was basically a child I liked The Monkeys, and now, in my later 50s, I am re-listening to them on youtube and liking them again. Even though my tastes have broadened to include film and TV scores, classical, doom jazz, and more I always go back the the music of my childhood at some point.
@5:35 This is 100% accurate. People confuse what they can't imagine for what isn't likely all the time. And these erroneous beliefs pop up all the time in the form of all sorts of cognitive biases like confirmation bias, for example. I can't imagine that Bob did XYZ, so it's not likely.
Dan Gilbert is my favorite TED talker.
I found this very interesting! im 20 and 10 years ago I didn't even listen to music that much now im a straight music nerd who can probably tell you at least one fact about any genre, song, artist, etc. whether u like it or not the things you like today probably wont be the things you like even 5 years from now, that's why the future is awesome...you just have no idea lol
"If I dream it today, It will be reality tomorrow." -Cise Starr
This is so true, "The only constant is that our life is changing''
That was an incredible amount of information that was fit into a just under 7-min. It's quite refreshing to see a TED talk actually utilizing the entire timeslot for a change.
I totally agree.
I listened twice and feel like I could listen a few more times and still engage a few more brain cells!
Thank you TED Talks - I really needed to hear that.
Didn't know Mike from Breaking Bad was into psychology!
LOL XD, you ever believed you’ll get a comment on your comment?
Your humor has hesitation wrapped around it.
I think the key is to not regret poor choices and to embrace even the worst events as simply events.
A really interesting Talk. Just a bit too short.
You think it is finished but it is still ongoing.
D. Gilbert always showing up with smart things to say. I think most of us are somewhat aware that we will shape ourselves into something new, often unpredictably. It's amazing to see just how wrong we are about ourselves (on average anyway).
Succinct, evidential, and motivational. Apt descriptions of an excellent TED talk!
I really used to think i can change,at some point I really felt like another human being but at the end of the day we are the same person
This just made me feel better, i needed this message
Very well presented. Thank you Dan Gilbert.
change is inevitable...The first step is acceptance, but that doesn’t make transition easy. We can try to avoid making tough decisions, but eventually we must become mature enough to know ourselves, accept our limits, and say no.The change at the earlier age is more drastic compared to changes at old age.
The decisions we make keep changing with time. Our future selves regret the decisions made by our past selves. The rate of change of decision slows by the age. We believe in an illusion that our personal history has come to an end. The three values which matter most are pleasure, success and honesty but the importance of these values change with time. People underestimate the change they are going to experience in the next ten years. This is called end of history illusion. We overestimate the stability of the current preferences. Time alters our preferences, personality and reshapes our values. The one constant in our life is change.
What a terrific speaker. Very engaging.
Brilliantly expressed
This isn't the greatest presentation. However, this is an interesting topic. A few years back I termed the word fulcrum to be the pivoting moment of mental change in our lives; not per decade, but rather every 7 years. Birth (first experiences) - 7 (adolescent) - 14 (teen) - 21 (young adult) 28 (full development) and so on. The leap in responsibility, understanding, and accomplishments is radically defined upon 7 year intervals of an individual. I personally am 28 so I truely can speak to this point. I can see 35 being a future hard for me to predict, but I don't see myself being the person I am today, as I am not the same person as I was at 21.
«Люди - это постоянно развивающиеся создания, которые ошибочно полагают, что их формирование закончено. Человек, которым вы являетесь сейчас, также мимолётен, скоротечен и непостоянен, как и все те люди, которыми вы были раньше. Единственное, что постоянно в нашей жизни, - это изменения»
i agree, to that i am 20 years old and i have been in this planet for two decades know and I can see that happening. I know i have changed because ,when i was twelves i did not see change, but as I was turning 20, 19, i felt the difference in my personality to when i was 10/12.
"The only constant is that our life is changing!"
Buddhists knows this since ever. Maybe we can someday easily accept the fact and stop to try to freeze the moment and enjoy the path.
ook, yes, it has been said before. Wise words, no argument there. But there are many mantras that seem true, yet when tested aren't so. The application of the scientific method to this in regards to our decision making may reinforce that value, but a maxim isn't a fact. I bet I can think of plenty of other things stated in various other doctrines that seem right and are not. The process of science is to support a claim with evidence and Dan Gilbert takes those facts and seeks an application for them, something Buddhism hasn't necessarily done except with, perhaps, wise suggestion. Not to mention Siddartha precludes the physical limitations and biology of our brain unlike Positive Psychology
TL;DR : Philosophy isn't Science and rests with 50/50 probability of truth. We need the scientific method and facts, not maxims alone.
P.S. Saying Buddhists already knew this is a lack of humility and can be interpreted as a way making yourself feel superior to others. Not very Buddhist in my opinion.
Eminent Psychology Expert Dan Gilbert analyzes the duplicity of human behavior. It's a short but meaningful talk.
Thank you for the reminder, it kinda gave me hope to get out of the stalemate that I am in now.
how is it now? hopefully things worked well for you
Great speech
i was listening it quite intently. didn't know what made these studios guys laugh- repeatedly??
I must admit that i despise the thought of "flattening out the line" of change when i become 30. What i'm talking about is the seemingly inevitable age from @30-50 where people live in the suburban street, have kids, work their 9-5 office jobs and all that. I'm gonna do my very best to avoid that, because from my POV it is the biggest waste of peoples lives, and i (going out on a limb here) suspect that in retrospect, people regret this phase in their lives.
Long live the outsiders!
i think we all need to learn to embrace change, including me in some ways. its always said that the only thing constant is change, it should be as common to teach us about accepting change too.
yes girl preach
@@hanavaughan6956 Thanks Hana, haha what an old comment of mine you commented on 😄 Got me reflecting on who I was 7 years ago when I wrote it
@@bodhisattvism hahaha so funny! yeah I just had to watch this for a college paper. It peaked my curiosity which had me here in the comments section lol
Really interesting, I was just thinking at the beginning of the video how I couldn't see my ideologies and preference change from this point onwards...
it's a known fact that change is inevitable, and if people think that they're not going to change throughout their life then that is a tad foolish. People believe that your personality won't change throughout your life but I think that the basic building blocks of your personality remain though certain life experiences can adapt to them and shape them.
thanks you
My first comment on TED,great!!!
Be careful what you wish for.
You just might get it.
This is extremelly interesting!
That's right, we constantly develop/change, not only as children and teenagers, but as adults as well, thank goodness! Otherwise, wouldn't we be boring to ourselves?
the picture of a girl growing up is fascinating
Short and excellent. Now we need a how to use this info
Great Idea! Please Create It!
Wow, people don't expect to change? That's scary, I expect to change every day, from what food I eat, what people I hang with and what music I listen to. And I do, what's the story doc? What's wrong with me?
I exactly know what he means. Too bad I had it coming. Need to realize I need to change the hard way. Nevertheless, I’m happy and ready to embrace the new me. Avoiding the fatal mistakes I did in the past.
This makes me think of society as a whole. We are stuck in this illusion that we are so elite & more intelligent than past generations because of our magical technology & science. When in reality, we are just as ignorant & deluded as the generations who thought the earth was flat. & thus it will be for generations to come.
Awesome!
Life changing (finger crossed).
many teenagers swear they will be 'forever bff '... then feel bad, when it doesnt happen...
many people say ' if you told me that one day i will...i would say your are nuts...'
me, i have learnt it about myself, and cant say i 100% like it, not knowing what i will enjoy doing, or feel priority about,in few years time.
so good
godamnit! im 20 and im passing through one of those, where i think my 17 year old me was a complete imature moron that would be better off dead. this guy speaks coherently, at least to my experience.
In my twenties now, I'd say there was a point a couple of years ago from which I started looking at the world soberly enough. Maybe you also reached that point. You won't change as much now unless you're a real boss.
17 watching and not sure what to expect
The moral of this story is that NO ONE SHOULD GET MARRIED unless you both plan for change.
i gradually lost the ability to imagine my future as i got older, trying to regain that ability so i can more accurately predict my future, hopefully i get to live a life with less regrets.
Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished. The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you've ever been. The one constant thing in our life is change.- Dan Gilbert
Very Interesting, Walter.
I think this whole discussion speaks volumes about how attached we are to the idea of "self"...we are protecting our ego as if it were fixed rather than something that is perpetually changing.
"I" shouldn't even exist because what is "I"?? You don't own anything; not your body, your health, your thoughts...every second is a new person- physically, mentally and spiritually. Remove yourself to enjoy yourself :)
That is deep but won't lead to the propagation of your genes...
"every second is a new person- physically, mentally and spiritually" Nice.
"The one constant in our life is change", and it will always be drastic, unexpected change, if there is no goal post (your imagined future self) to anchor it to!
I don't get angry at all. Love to be alone. Value family time over progress. Far more satisfied with what I have. These are the changes occured from the age of 30 to 40 years.
As for the many other things that could be said about this video, let me present the paradox missed by many. He one argues that we are "fleeting" and "changing" now, meaning that the you now is a different you than the you now. My interpretation of this in the only way that it could ever work is that you never change, but that you will change to a new you as time goes on, but because time is linear and a unit of time could be expressed differently from one another, you actually never change, there are just many versions of you. So now we must ask if you never change or if you always change as he argues. If we are to accept the ladder, it's a paradox because you would never be you to begin with because you always change and could never be defined, or in other words you can't apply change to a variable if the variable does not exist yet...this is hardly a psychology topic, time to hand the baton to the philosophers ;-)
Sorry just a couple more things (food for thought)...
At best what he is saying is that "change" is still changing...
If we were to accept my model, we must ask other silly, but completely relevant questions like which "you" is the real you? Are they all real? Is one or some better than others? What if the "real" you or "ideal" you is never reached? Only a fool would decide that the "you" at your time if death was the "realist you" (what if you passed away with brain damage or an illness that significantly changed your consciousness)
Psychology is always about vague ideas they have and studies that are flawed. I like your comment tho.
A fact that he didn't stumble upon in the video was that we, people, kind of already know this, and yet we still fall in to the same trap over and over again. For example, how you feel just after a food binge.. "Ah.. never eating that again!!" .. and a few days later you find yourself with another tub of B&J. Or the usual Saturday morning 'I'm not drinking ever again!'.. only to be drunk once again the following Friday.
I think this is an interesting factor in human psychology. We learn from our mistakes.. and yet we don't. Many things change.. but that doesn't mean progress.
Wrote this as I was thinking it.. May be wrong.. Happy to hear your thoughts :)
Routine is comfort.
Great point. We learn, but we never learn. Haha.
Eventually, people either accept that something is unhealthy but they know they continue to do this, or the amount of accumulated regret is enough to warrant a "screw this, I'm done" and they kick the habit.
William Heshr ...and uncomfort leads to growth. Thank you, I know what I need to do now
uncanny in truth and presented in a very entertaining ligtheated way !!
totally agree with u
Why do I think that somehow, doubting yourself to ever reach your dream will most likely brings you closer to it? At age 14 I could only dream about writing my heart out on a song and performing in front of people because I had a really low self esteem. In short it’s just a sad dream of me to ever really become a well established professional performing musician. 10 years later - I’m reaching the age of 24 and what I thought was just a dream is starting to manifest itself into reality
Idk how to explain it further, but if anyone feels like discussing their thoughts or something from my story then I’d be more than willing to start a thread in the comment section. 🖤
I love this great speaker .
I've changed so much in the last 10 years that I'm looking at the other "Me's"in the past 10 years and I can't relate much to what I am right now.
I think your philosophy is dope and it made sense for me.Thank you
I came to this revelation at 14.
I cannot figure out what middle aged adults work hard to gain that older adults work hard to lose
Reminds of Sartre's "Existence precedes essence" idea
I haven't changed since I was 17 and I'm 47 now.
You like the same foods, same tv programs, same music, same friends, same people, same hot drink in the mornings, same vices, same fashion, same activities, same values, same beliefs, same youtuber preferences, same political views??????????????????????????????????????
Charlotte Riskirana no youtubers 30 years ago
Time will tell
It is also true about the world we live in. We think the way it is now, that's how it will always be, and that's how it always has been in recent history. But that's not true, it constantly changes and evolves, including all of our social norms. What is OK today might not be OK tomorrow, and vice versa.
The answer people conciously give you doesn't have to be in line with their unconcious deciscions, interpetations and behaviours (which happen most of the time), if you ask people to report these things about themselves afterwards or in advance you get inaccurate results (over- and underestimations), therefore I'm not entirely sure if these statistics are accurate enough to draw a conclusion from them. Please correct me if i'm wrong :)
One thing he totally leaves out, but i'm sure is on his mind, is the acceleration of the aging process through life which should tend to make people change faster as they age, and in some cases this is true.
I wonder who or what program he used to make those slides...they were nice
Jean Pierre Garnier Malet! His metodology will help you make better decisions! No english translation of his work in French and translated into Spanish. Worth reading the free PDF file. Alejandra Casado has videos translated into English regarding this, Amazing stuff
Three initial thoughts/questions:
1. The information suggests that there is a deep lacking in the general understanding of people about the actual "flow of like" (or process of living). I've always felt that it is a shame that so little work has been done with Erik Erikson's concept of "The Human Life Cycle" -- although Gene Cohen's work in his book "The Mature Mind" is a good example of how it might be advanced.
2. Dan Gilbert's repeated presentation of the the two lines is interesting. But they appear to represent rather gross averages. I wonder how much variability there is in the data -- and if variability were significant, what are the interpretations and implications of it?
3. Finally, the convergence of the lines in later life implies that variation between perceived and actual change begins to converge. I wonder if that trend will sustain or change as the "Baby Boomers" (who claim they don't/won't retire -- and therefore may actually pursue more change in later years) move into the cohort that is breaching the age 68 limit of the study?
Thanks for the book references. I'll purchase and read them.
Prefrontal cortex development in teen to young adult (for some men - past age 25) and life experiences. But, also some may mature earlier.
“Your preferences, likes and dislikes, are transient, and thats the norms”
That's weird on the music question, the band 10 years ago, (Busted) would sell tickets for 100s more than my favourite musician now (Gabrielle Aplin[?]), but then I have turned to indie music!
I'm going to come back to this video after 10 years and see how much I've changed.
the subtitle of this talk should be "or why tattoos are a bad idea"
lol
This is what our regrets are all about
... What if you consciously try to retain your specific values? What if you flat out find it undesirable to change (at least in certain ways; presumably everyone wants to change in some form or to some degree), and so you make a conscious decision to keep your current mentality about something? I'm curious about whether that would influence the rate of change to a significant degree or not.
Hmmm?
You guys should watch " WTF Bending A Mans Mind " Such a great psych movie.
That Movie made my head explode. Good movie.
Wowzers, Thanks for that man. That was a great watch. Im always amazed at how complicated the brain is.
It's because we were trying to control, and if we instead let go 100% than your future self would not regret your past decisions!!!
El famoso conferencista sobre felicidad Daniel Gilbert es uno de los mejores expertos del mundo en felicidad y errores en la toma de decisiones humanas.
nice paradox. "the only constant is change"
It is a superficial observation and demonstrably wrong in its exclusivity. E.g., (as a few -- of many -- counter examples to this facile play on words; actually it is simply a variant on a large set of self-referential paradoxes -- one that might crudely be linked to Heraclitus) -- Does space, in its totality, change? Does the amount of matter or energy in the universe change (according to the laws of physics)? Does what your dog are for dinner yesterday change (i.e., does its supper adopt a different identity after time has past)?
Talk about easily impressed viewers.
are you one of the 81 downvotes?
I came here
While reading the book
The psychology of money
Love from Guna Madhya Pradesh India 🇮🇳
I dunno why audience keep on laughing. The speaker is serious in presenting his research.
I hope he's right. I feel like my life has been mostly stagnant for the better part of the last decade. I need tomorrow to be different. I need to be different.