There are plenty of "good men"....that aren't 6 ft tall, don't have six-pack abs, and work jobs for less than six figures that they don't like. I'm glad I'm old, have grand kids, and don't have to deal with "Tik Tok" girl nonsense. I feel bad for young men today.
It's always the most entitled and vocal women, like the one in the tiktok video, that demand top quality when they themselves aren't up to par. They show that they are the ones to avoid.
@@LeeEverett1 Story of my love life. I'm pretty much zero maintenance and zero drama. They fall in love with me for a year or two, then ditch me when the infatuation wears off.
I asked the women I worked with to define what their definition of a "good man" is and they all said a man that treats them right, doesn't lie to them, takes care of his appearance, isn't conceded and respects women. I then asked them was their last boyfriend a good man and they all said no! So they chose the "bad boy" over the good man! Women will say what they want, but then respond to the opposite of what they say!
It’s ironic that you seem to be attracted to these type of women. It has clearly skewed your entire view of women. It works both ways dude. Or do you truly believe that every woman is attracted to toxic men? Or just the ones you’re attracted to ?
Loving your job is a luxury, and is largely outside of your control (boss, coworkers, work assignments are all not within your control). I had a girl reject me partly because I "wasn't passionate about my job". Like, sorry. I live in the real world, not a disney movie. Work is not always going to be something you love, especially when the expectation is that the man will make good money. High paying jobs are often stressful, require long hours, have mundane tasks, or you have a sociopathic manager. But if a guy loves his job putting fries in the bag, then they won't want him because he's broke.
I have only met only a few people in my life that really loved their jobs. Most people honestly just want their job to pay them money so that they can live and enjoy other things. I find it silly in interviews when the employer wants to know why you want that particular job in their company. When the honest answer is you want money.
The working class dude trying to feed his kids can't really be assed to feel like he's living out the job of his dreams. That being said, my under-employed and unemployed friends really get up their own asses with aimless fecklessness and terminally online nonsense. They rot from within.
This is why the world is so messed up. Women who put there expectations in men in dating. They should go out and find the job they love and then maybe they will solve their own issues go work for your money honey ain’t no man gonna be your sugar daddy
I'm glad that said girl rejected you. A woman finding a man with a job he's not passionate about an "ick"(dumb word), is a toxic lady who should never get married.
I can relate. There's a reason my job has to pay me well. My part-time job, on the other hand, barely pays me at all. I love it and I get fulfillment from it, so the money's not important.
Also, turning your passion into a career could ruin it for some people. Attaching schedules, meetings, bosses and objectives to something you love doing can kill it real quick.
Exciting video, A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldn't say it didn't go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
This video reminded me of something a friend of mine once told me. Women don’t want to deal with the struggle. They wait at the finish line for the winners. They do not stand beside you for all the years of struggle it takes to become one. After seeing many men I know lose their relationships due to chronic illness, unexpected unemployment, major injury etc I find it hard to fault his logic. Also “not all women” for those typing angry replies. But the only girl in my life that has stood by me as I developed a chronic illness/disability is my cat. She’s a sweet heart.
Look at all the 'chick flicks' and romance novels that are popular. They're always about an aggressive super-rich alpha-male, often born into money (i.e. either an heir or even a prince), who a woman has the emotional intelligence to bring the best out of. Poor and working-class men need not apply for such fantasies. It's an extremely retrograde fantasy, as toxic as many a man's misogynist fantasy, because it forces men to be trapped in the most toxic roles. It's also fundamentally classist (which is a form of bigotry I find a lot of upwardly mobile, supposedly 'progressive' women hate to talk about, and is one of the few forms of bigotry the whole 'woke' movement seems to have ignored, which is why we see so many working-class/blue-collar men voting for Trump etc). Just as men need to stop indulging in porn, I'd argue that women need to stop engaging in these fundamentally problematic, and (whisper it) anti-feminist Cinderella/Pretty Woman/50 Shades of Grey/The Prince and Me type fantasies.
Yes, most women don't stay committed in sickness and in health. Some men feel honor-bound to white knight by actually taking their vows literally when the woman wouldn't. Maybe we're best to all just acknowledge that the only place for unconditional love is a relationship between parent and child. Romantic relationships last only as long as both partners keep the other happy. That isn't a failing of women. It's more that it's a fair standard for both sexes. The marriage vows were there for social and economic stability when women couldn't get paid employment due to patriarchy & acute discrimination. That is no longer current. I don't fault women for leaving when the man becomes financially dependent on them if he isn't a primary caregiver for their or her children. If it's due to health problems that are temporary you should probably stay and try to make things work, but only for so long.
Im not an angry replie either, been married 22 years now. Plus 10 cats or so, outdoors chasing mice & snakes. Im fascinated by all this cause of the larger implications in of our dumpster-fire society we live in.
@@jeremycole3008yes, but you clearly chose well, unlike modern men who don't and then cry when she leaves them, also you probably continued to better yourself and still treated her like the queen as you met her, where us modern men don't, we neglect ourselves and our women an then act surprised when the marriage fails..
My dad had the same job for 31 years - some days he liked it, some days he hated it. And sometimes he told us that, sometimes he kept it between him and our mom haha. What mattered most was being there for his family. He worked to go home. His sweat equity kept us going to school and kept our tummies full. There is an unbelievable amount of honor in that and probably 80-90% of the world is made up those kinds of people; they make the world spin.
Me thinketh exactly and lot of this type of., talk from these inexperienced girls live in the Cinderella warm bath of Love world instead of the Man's everyday decision of Commitment to your.......Family World!@!?😉🤪😁
Absolutely. Your dad's mission was providing for his family. And his job was a means to an end. The significance doesn't have to come from the action per se, but why you do the action.
As a 56 year old blue collar man, divorced and been told decent looking lol. My experience of most of my dates is being a blue collar man is a non starter for sooooo many women which leaves me concluding that they want a meal ticket and not a man.
Most women have no hobbies or personality of their own. They have to live vicariously through you. Blue collar work doesn’t look as good on their Instagram profile so they can’t brag to their 304friends
I am 53 and I have been hearing the "Where are all the good men?" statements from women. And these are the same women who say that the "good men" are boring and they do not have anything exciting going on in their lives, but the thing I find amazing is the "good men" who were not interesting in the beginning are now the men that women are looking for when their hearts get broken by the men they find "hot" or "sexy". Meanwhile, the actual "good men" have either moved on or they make the decision to stay single. And most single men do well for themselves.
After women ride the bad boys, have a few divorces and get old so no man wants them, that's when they look for the good man. You know the one who pays all the bills and never cheats, the boring guy they really don't want but had to settle for.
I find it interesting that there's so much emphasis on this ambition toward career. I'm not happy with where my career is at 39 years old. I probably do complain too much about my career but there is nothing I can do about it until my daughter graduates high school. My wife passed away when my daughter was 6 years old and I've had to work with clients that pay more to free up more time to be available for raising my kid. I'd rather be a good father that's miserable for 3-6 hours a day than one who loves his career and is a terrible father for even one second. I work hard enough to be able to put food on the table, and the rest of my time, energy and attention go to raising a teenage girl, 9 years later. She's well-adjusted, shows respect, and is a 4.0 student ... so I'd say I made the right choice. I can focus on my career again at 42 when she graduates. Thanks again Courtney for correcting these extreme views, and introducing some subtlety into the value of men and women.
Yeah to be completely honest, I don’t expect to ever love my career. I’m not delusional enough to believe my passions could ever pay the bills either. So long as I don’t hate my job and it pays enough for me to afford my actual passions, then I’m happy. Good on you for prioritizing being a father. Your daughter will appreciate it I’m sure.
As a single dad, I applaud you doing the right thing for your child. It's really hard being a single parent. Especially a single dad cause the world doesn't want to give your breaks the way single Moms seem to get.
Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Social media has turned the majority of both men and women into narcissists. Most empaths that still exist have already found other empaths to marry. Most narcissists already had their chance with at least one empath and blew it - now they only have other narcissists to choose from.
So we’re supposed to work 24/7? Most people change jobs at least once during their lifetime, it doesn’t mean that we’re “evil”. Also what are women doing? Complaining 24/7?
@@handsomebarber424 He didnt ask: :Where are all the good girls at", nor clicked on Courtney's content expecting to find one here either. Its more amusing than anything else.
Women that are actually good women know where the good men are, they recognize good men when they see them, and (most importantly) THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO GOOD MEN. If someone is having a hard time finding good people, that's usually a "them" issue, not the fault of the people they're looking for.
Women used to love a man and support him even in down times. Now she's defining a good man as someone who already has everything figured out and she can just come in at the end. Also, your job wont matter if she isnt attracted to you at all to begin with.
Gonna be blunt here. If I'm focused on my career and happy with where I'm at, why the hell would I invite someone else into my life to screw that up? When I'm focused on my career or my passion, I don't leave my house. I don't talk to anybody. I just focus on that. If you want a guy who is passionate in his career, you're only setting yourself up for neglect in the future.
@phabeondominguez5971 I'm not saying that. You are. What I'm saying is that a person who is truly happy alone will want to remain alone. I'm not happy alone. And if a woman wants to date me, she shouldn't expect me to be happy alone. Because if I was happier by myself, then I wouldn't date her.
@@michaelashmead581 read what you said, then read what I said, then read what you replied, and if that's how you come across here in the digital realm, how must you appear to women in the real world?
Under no circumstances does career fulfillment have anything to do with a man's character - which you also say in different words. However, a non-fulfilling career can have a negative impact on a relationship. In a "good" man, it can bring him down, and the whole relationship vibe can be brought down with that. In an "evil" man, it can make him behave in an unacceptable, even downright criminal in extreme cases, manner towards his partner. In any case, if a woman wants to see if a man is "good" or "evil", career fulfillment is definitely not the place to check...
This sounds like "first world" dating advice. Every job my dad ever worked was blue - collar and dangerous, but he did so to provide for his family. My mom always stood by him. Also, a man can excel in a job without actually liking the job.
That's true the thing that helps me maintain my focus and sanity at my job is knowing I can provide for my family and still get enough free time to spend with them
No you CAN NOT excel at a job you don't like. Jesus Christ!! @ Courtney Ryan do you see why as a man, I can't get along or support other Men just like me? It's because of stupid crap that Man just said.
@@MrTJMaddoxInstead of reacting angrily, that's if you're interested in dialogue and not a fight, I would suggest offering your perspective in detail. Otherwise, of course nobody should stay at a job they don't like. BUT, that's where men are the difference. We do what we have to do, however long it takes, however much it takes. We should still be doing the required work of a good life, but if temporary circumstances warrant staying at your job - then men just do it, like Nike said.
@@MrTJMaddox same here, i was video game graphic designer at uni but figured out welding and metalwork made me much happier overall. The fact u can make actual things that will serve you and others and that power of melting metal with a power of a sun under your fingertips. Also stickwelding smells nice lol.
8:55 yes we are, but no we aren't projecting how we feel about ourselves onto other people. What happened was we treated others the way we wanted to be treated and got walked on as a result, so now we're treating others the way they treated us instead. My guard wasn't up before but it is now.
Yep. Women will say “that’s not fair because women are experiencing the same thing!” Well, maybe if you didn’t only choose the top 2.5% of guys, then we wouldn’t be in this predicament. Those guys treat the majority of women the way the majoriy of women treat the majority of men. Guess it sucks to be on the other end huh
I think courtney doesn’t understand that at this point, many good men are just tired of being abused and hurt by women to the point of not caring about women anymore. If she had to say what she just said in the video at your time code, then she has no empathy for men at all.
WTF is she talking about. The majority of people who have ever lived hates their job or will grow to hate it. But a man will get up every morning and endure it for the good of his family and himself. If you love your job, you're one of the lucky few or you're living in self-delusion (very common in corporate offices). To say men that dislike their jobs are evil is just projection. She got mistreated by some dude.
She is basically saying you can't complain about your job because it shows weakness. These women are comical because they want communication from their man but only if it is good stuff or something they can use against them later on.
So you're saying most people will _choose_ to be hateful? A weird perspective but it might be true. People do what they love, and most people love being overweight, poor, and frustrated.
Good men are EVERYWHERE! Unfortunately, it’s all about looks and money instead of personality, there’s no pushback to that. Most women today overinflate their worth/level by only wanting to date the same 1% of men. Therefore they overlook the 99% whom many are good and BETTER men, even though they don't want to show it off like the 1% do. Dating is completely all over the place.
Even if a man is having a rough time at work, the reassurance from his woman that no matter what his work experience is like, he is appreciated at home for providing for his loved ones will carry him a long way.
Having a Good man requires a level of accountability that many women are not willing to accept, because a good man won't tolerate lax efforts in terms of his life goals. He also won't put up with a distraction in the form of a woman either.
I love your perspective on good men. And it's true what you said. Personally, I never like being someone who's in the position to be cruel to people, regardless. Being mean is not cool. Really wish people were more nicer.
Being in that position is a challenge. Unfortunately it’s easier for people in positions of power to lead through threats of firing and fear. Leading by example and through inspiration of others requires actual work, so many would rather take the easier route of being a dictator.
Where are the good women at? Why is it that men always have to have everything figured out all the time and it's ok for women to be spinning her wheels? If as a man I'm supposed to have everything figured out all the time, then what does she have to do? I thought women are supposed to be nurturing, what's the point if I can't even get that from a woman? Men are not put on this earth to take on a basket case broken woman in his life and just take on someone with all kinds of problems and issues that he's "supposed to" figure things out for. Why would he do that? Men want a woman who will make his life better and vice versa. So where are these good women who will do that?
I was made redundant from a job I was overworked in and hated earlier this year. I'm not not earning at the moment and instead doing a course on my savings.I feel way more intellectually satisfied, motivated and generally more health focused than ever. Sure I'm kinda broke but at least I have the drive, passion and ambition back in me.
As a guy, Courney lost me when she compared her own experience of not being happy with her job. It's definitely not the same for women. A more apt comparison would be a woman suddenly having lot of acne on their face. Women typically derive their self-esteem form their appearances, men from their jobs/career.
Not really related to this video but I regularly go for walks at the park by my house. There was this girl I’d see there on a near daily basis. We were always friendly towards each other and I got the impression she was showing interest in me. I’m not the type of guy to approach women in public unless I have a good feeling it will go well. Last Thursday I finally struck up a conversation with her. We didn’t talk for long because she had to get back to work but I got her name and number and said I look forward to seeing her again soon. I thought everything was great. Fast forward to this past Monday and I text her to see if she’ll be around the park. Her response is no because her husband is taking her out to lunch. That’ll be the last time I attempt something like that
When I see a woman I'd like to date, I always assume she's either in a relationship already, has no interest in me, and/or is playing me to boost her ego. So far it's had a 100% success rate.
@ I usually think the same way but allowed myself to believe otherwise this time. It’s very shallow on the woman’s part to do that but I can at least understand it. In my case, I don’t understand why she gave me her name and number before telling me she was married
Sounds like she was playing games but don’t give up bro, having the confidence to strike up conversations with women puts you ahead of many people, you’ll get success eventually just keep your head up 🙏🏾
I feel for you. Seems like she just wanted validation or just some excitement. Ultimately though it’s scummy what she did and situations like that happen when you put yourself out there. I wish you good luck.
My wife fell in love with me when I was a young man who had no career and was actually at my worst health. She saw the emotional stability I had even in my lowest points. She also saw the potential in my intelligence. Thirty years later, I am in my early 50's and at the peak of my career, my fulfillment, my purpose, etc. I got to this great moment in my life largely because I had the support of an amazing girl, because there was a time in our relationship when she had to be the main breadwinner.
Now that people are getting married a bit later, I've noticed that a lot of people (possibly slanted towards women) are looking for a partner that is finished "growing". They want a partner that's already deep into their career and that it's a job they love. They need a partner already making a lot of money, already with well-established hobbies, already with a good balance and as mentioned in the video, everything figured out. Not many people are interested in growing with their partner, they want to date the final product, and I find that really sad. Growing together through good and bad and everything else builds a strong relationship.
@@jdarnellsix, make that 3 people. I have a wife just like his. She had my back before we were even dating, and once I recognized that, it was just a matter of time before we tied the knot. 30+ years later, she'll still do anything for me, and I'll still do anything for her. Women like them aren't as rare as a lot of guys think they are (just as good men aren't as rare as a lot of women think they are). I know quite a few who are just as devoted to their husbands as my wife is to me.
There was a time when women used to stick. Wedding vows used to say "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part". The sacred vows meant I will stay with you forever no matter what. Then feminism.
As a guy in his 40's I've never had a 'fulfilling' job. But I have had ones that pay the bills and allow me to live the lifestyle I want and care for people around me that I care about. It's just no part of my identity. Alternatively, it's actually a good relationship test to see how a person, guy or girl, navigates through life's challenges including the loss of a job.
I think that’s a big problem right now. People tend to forget the fact that the vast majority of people work basic jobs. We don’t have enough 16-24 year olds to do all the work. Just cause bro installs internet or works at a warehouse shouldn’t mean he’s invisible or not good enough. People keep wanting to live beyond their means it’s frustrating. You don’t need much to survive in America people
A quick Google search of “Kiley Casciano” will tell you she-a barely employed actor-married another slightly-more employed actor named Matthew Davis when she was 26 and he was 40 in 2018. According to his Wikipedia page, they recently divorced this year. This is projection at its finest.
Let me explain for you brother., it’s womanese for where are all The ( gigachads) 6feet tall 6 pack 6 figure income 6 inches in the pants. That’s what these modern women want. And they also expect to just show up literally have no skills, no communication skills, no financial literacy skills, no relationship skills. They just expect to show up and you keep them entertained 24/7 and keep them fed and give them gifts and money 💵 all On your dime. And you better not expect sex. 😂 enjoy the cats 🐱 ladies
No one can love their job all the time. You might be conscientious and hard working, but still get laid off or passed over for promotion. Life just isn't fair at times.
Well, to a degree I agree. Just switched jobs and improved my job life tenfold. Of course also there are tasks and situations in my new company which are not easy to tackle, so I try the "Hurray, a problem!" mood. In essence, without problems my job would be futile.
I went through this when I was in my 20ies. However, I always kept my focus and performed well. I chose my passion as work. Granted, that job paid really well, but I kept asking myself, is this the job you wanna do for the next 10 years or follow your true passion. I chose to resign and go in a completely different field. Best decision, and it turned out very good.
I felt like her conclusion was overly broad. There are plenty of folks who need to do jobs they don’t necessarily love because that’s the best way to build a living for their families. Here I’m thinking of folks who do backbreaking or dangerous work. You aren’t likely to leap out of bed excited to get at it. Also, folks may have a job they love, but something like a management change happens to greatly diminish that love. The man doesn’t automatically become “bad” if that happens. I think I could have been more convinced of her point if she’d tempered some of her language and narrowed her conclusion a bit. A statement that a man who’s always unhappy and negative in life is not likely to make a good boyfriend or husband would be much more defensible.
That tiktok girl statement seems more bitter and hurt than anything I've read on this comment section, Courtney summarizes the career part really well about having ups and downs, at the end of the day it's work, being career driven doesn't mean you're never stressed or want to rest
Happy i gave up trying 4 years ago. Now I can hit the gym, restore my '67 chevy, dirt bike, hunt, fish, and work on the property. Whenever i was in a relationship my life sucked. Now I can be happy and not have somebody ruin it.
I have a job that's not flash but after a messy life of chronic illness and abuse I'm beating the odds that I'm still alive and I'm beating even more odds that I have a job at all so I'm happy with where I am, people miss me when I'm not at work. I own and great little house that I built myself and I'm debt free so there's no reason to work more. Health is wealth and lot of people don't know that until too late. There's a lot more to life then money and work. :)
I really appreciate your content, Courtney. Your approach to helping people understand the world of dating better is incredibly refreshing and useful. Your calm and collected demeanor combined with super insightful thoughts makes for very nutrient rich content. Good brain food. Thanks for being you!
My career got off to a rough start. I had landed a job in public accounting before I started my final semester of college and the job started two weeks after I graduated. I was thrilled! But just under eight months into the job, I was cut out of the blue because the new Office Managing Partner suddenly decided that I wasn’t a good fit for the firm (didn’t give me a reason why). I then worked briefly for a small local public accounting firm but that firm also was a bad long term fit for me. After that job I started applying for other accounting jobs, found one at large bank while I was applying for another job at the same bank, and now I’ve been in my role for over six years! I enjoy my job for the most part, but especially when I get off holidays that others don’t get. I can that one of my best values is being battle tested when life throws you screwballs unfairly and unexpectedly!
Advice to women: It’s ok if the man doesn’t euphorically love his job all the time, that’s part of life and every job out there but look for the man who can be in a tough job and still find parts of it that he does enjoy and he’s grateful for that job he has and what that job has provided for him.
There's more to life than your job. Sometimes you need to stick with your job to pay the bills. For most people, a job is just a means to make money in order to pay bills. It doesn't define who they are.
Loving and enjoying your work is rare nowadays. Evil bosses, jealous coworkers, crazy kamikaze-type of assignments, stress is something that 99% of us have to endure in order to get that paycheck. Those who truly are in love in their job are workaholics and have no time for anything else, nor he/she is interested in. A good and smart woman understands that.
I've never had my career as a priority in my life. In fact, work talk bores me to death, I just check out. Now, I'm doing what I love and what I studied, but as a designer I'd still be a creative whether I had this job or not, it's just who I am. But I never use my job as an identifier.
Hello Courtney, yes, I believe so. You are what you do. Having a positive experience working, what will take the most time out of most people, will brighten your life. Though, the reverse also works. I perceived my work as more positive when I improved myself. I do think it starts there. People very positive about their job, are already positive people. It is the energy, the vibe of your surroundings or your inner state that will amplify your world.
It seems a lot of women are looking for a parent. Someone to correct them then blame if they don’t like the guidance. Men would accept this role if the women admitted this is really what they honestly want but they won’t
You find good people when you become good yourself. When I was a jerk I only experienced other jerks… When I decided to make changes in my life. The people around me changed and I didn’t wonder anymore. A lot of people create their own problems and then place blame on others, it’s kinda human nature. But, to each their own. Not my problem. I can’t get rid of people being good to me fast enough lol.
That tiktok Girl is kinda delusional, I agree With your take on having a career, sadly some girls can't handle the idea of a man having ups and downs on their career, one day you're an important member of a team at work and next month you're laid off and working a lower end job even with a degree. From the way she speaks I can tell some tiktok girls have never faced any hardships, and that's not bitter it's just the way it is
I see too many women on social media complaining that their husbands work too much. They then use that as a reason to divorce. You work hard to provide and lose your family because you work too hard. Doesn’t seem worth it sometimes.
First of all, she's pushing the attitude that a man is only worthwhile to society or a woman if he's working. Secondly, being unhappy in your job is a good impetus to get ahead, find a better one! Thirdly, if a man is unhappy in his job, a good woman would WANT him to switch jobs so that he could be happier. Fourthly, why are we listening to idiots on TikTok? Using words like "evil?" Forget her...
Whenever I meet new people, I tell them that I am a mathematician, and I share one thing I enjoy most about my profession: I help young minds feel more confident with their ability to do math. There's no doubt that being passionate about your career and how you work with others speak volumes. I am still in the early stages of my career, but I feel really good about the direction that I am heading in. Plus, it is important to remember to maintain a healthy work-life balance! That is one of the many keys to achieving happiness and peace of mind.
Here's the thing. Men enjoy their solitude and will do anything alone. We will go fishing. We will go read a book. We will go for a walk. We will watch a series on TV. We will play video games. If we are artistic or musically gifted we will exercise those talents. We collect things. We have hobbies. We aren't mystical complicated beings. That's what surprises women. They say things like, "Where are the good men?" Men have no problem being alone, doing things alone, and being alone. Where are we? We are seeking a peaceful sanctuary away from chaos. Be peaceful, civil, supportive, and cooperative and maybe you will be allowed in our lives. And maybe we will share our resources with you. That's if you can be on your best behavior. I'm not perfect, I don't expect you to be perfect. But we should both strive to be "good".
Honestly most of these social media girls making these short vids are probably really toxic no matter what they say.. I think it’s all talk but they don’t live like they speak. But Courtney seems like a good women also very open to new perspectives and logical. These short vids usually don’t make any sense and the girls sound really dumb
Even when i don't agree with you, i can understand your perspective without feeling irritated about feeling unheard. I think it's just easier to live with fewer things that cause you to stress. If you're having trouble with employment that can be huge for anyone. I had an ex the never worked while we were together and would make excuses for not doing her part but instead making plans for a future together without doing anything to further reach those goals. She would blame me for not waking her up in time to go drive around job searching. The situation is far more complicated than any pragmatic relationship could handle unfortunately and fortunately.
Where are all the good men? I divorced a woman who was sleeping around on me in 1993 to never marry again. I stopped dating around 2005 and retired after 33 years with a full pension and in 2015, I started collecting Social Security. I go to breakfast every morning with my sixth, who is also male. He quit dating 5 years ago after a bad relationship and moved home. For us, women have lost their value. Where are all the good men? We are living our lives as best as we can without drama of any kind.
To any woman that asks: "Where are the good men", I always say to check their friend zone. You stuck them there because they weren't everything you wanted in a partner but they provide a small amount of what you want while you search for the mythical perfect guy.
I think your perspective on the nuances of this subject were pretty spot on. I left a miserable job after 17 years...found a career I love at 39, that also has many challenges, but overall gives me fulfillment and allows me to provide for my son. I think, as Richard Reeves put it, there is a need to be needed, or rather, a sense of purpose that many men lack in today's world. This is one of many reasons women are questioning where "good men" are, even though they exist in the shadows of modernity these days.
@jamescoffman8096 Bad things happen to both sides, so to result to just coming to the conclusion that you did doesn't help anyone. Not to mention there is nuance to family law court. Are their unfair outcomes yes, but the same could be said for women as well. We need to stop the division, work on ourselves, and be more discerning when choosing a spouse.
ngl, I work in food service. When I was a manager I HATED it. I was evil! Probably why my wife left me. I busted myself down to cook. I don't make a lot of money, but I have never been happier. And yes...good men literally go to work and go home. Also the gym. Working on a job that you really hate, but can't leave because you have to support other people can definitely make a man evil.
From my personal experience, the kindest people I've met were either the ones really happy with their lifes, or the broken. So for the question where the good men are: not where the women are who need to ask this question, I guess. I'm sorry for the "good" women, who genuinely seek companionship, who struggle to find partners, because less compatible ones scared them away.
So not being happy with your job makes you evil? What? xD I understand it may make you unhappy and it may affect your realtionship, but evil? I have a feeling she wants to say "I want a man with good career who makes lot of money" but in a way that won't make her look bad xD I'm also sick of this "insecure=evil, confident=good" bullshit. Yes, narcisstic psychopats are the greatest people in the world xD
I won't lie, I hated some of my prior jobs and it did play a part in my life. Now, I have the career I've always wanted and I'm excelling in my life. I won't even lie, I've almost considered dating again (not going to, but I've been thinking about it). Having my financial/career side of my life in line gives me greater mental health and a joyful spirit. I do agree about the struggles, they did make me a greater man.
I kinda like that lady, but I would like to add one thing every time I hear a woman say where are the good men I always feel like someone should just tell them they’re hiding in plain sight. If you are in fact, looking for a good man who is single chances are he supports himself has a job or a career Has a home has transportation you probably won’t find them at a bar or a club he’s probably not in his mom‘s basement. He probably isn’t sitting in front of a video game system all day long but probably has a system. It almost seems like the best place to find him would be like early in the morning on his way to work or after work doing things like grocery shopping clothes shopping, etc.
I was just on a date with a girl I went to school with. She was at the reunion last year. I didn’t even knew there was one, because they connected over instagram and I don‘t participate in that I only do LinkedIn for business reasons. Well, turns out all the people peaked are losers with a lot of debt and showcase their non existing boujee lifestyle on instagram. I’m happy now that: - I was not dating - I was not travelling - I was learning - I was working - I was taking every opportunity I could. Now I bought my first real estate buildings and I bought my first Ferrari F8 Tributo. ❤️ Was quite a way from a Kia Forte to a Ferrari F8 Tributo.
It happens to me all the time. I’m a lawyer and I had to work really hard compared with average people. That’s something I accepted because I love my job, but people usually don’t accept that and make you feel weird. At the end, focusing on my career made me sacrifice many aspects of my social life, specially love
Disagreeing with people is not hatred. Having a different opinion is not hatred. Why do we insist on infantilizing women by saying that disagreeing with them is hatred?
So yeah, while I do think she's rage-baiting and maybe doing that thing people do where they try and find a sort of moral justfication for something they want to do anyways (I guess maybe some kind of hypergamy on her part)..there's no denying that there's a feedback loop between feeling fulfilled at work and a good romantic partner. It's a cornerstone of 20th century drama. The economic strife of the last 15 years has been a major contirbutor to the Incel Epidemic. This has been a BRUTAL year for me career-wise, and it has largely made me less enthused about dating. It's made me feel awkward when I'm around people, given me less to converse about (because I don't want to vent all the time) and even I think made me less, how I do put it, biolgically enthusiastic. Plus, the instability just makes it hard to make plans. Right now there's somebody who I *think* is interested in me, but shes also like, too close to my career (which is always a risky at the best of times) and right now I don't think it would be very pleasant.
All the good men were rejected by these women. They said no. I'm very thankful of the woman I currently been dating for 7 years. Thankfully she made the right choice. I'm the nicest guy out there. Always going out of my way to keep her happy and she respects that from me.
Can I make a comment please? We all love being in love and having our other half and knowing we have someone to face the world with. There is NO hate here with what I am about to say. My comment here is not to be mean or negative to anyone out there who are going down the "traditional" route. God bless you all out there with your happiness and goals. Courtney, you did say to leave a comment here... and thank you Courtney for always being objective, so sweet, and honest yet tactful. You have great heart mam, and I have truly enjoyed your videos who really wants everyone to be able to progress with these topics. I just turned 50 years of age in mid-September 2024, straight white male, never married, no kids, born and have lived in Los Angeles my entire life. It is not just me either, there is virtually NO BENEFIT for 95% of men to pursue a traditional relationship today in MOST cities... even rural areas and/or "religious" facilities. So much is wrong. In fact I will go even further and state that again, NOT just me, there is no amount of money or physical beauty that is going to be enough incentive for so many guys to want to continue or start back up again with the whole dating/romance/courting/traditional... "man up" type of duties with someone with the kind of history that has repeatedly shown that MOST w^>o>me^>n cannot commit to the commitment. They commit to how things FEEL all the while being pulled out by a universe of social media, dating apps, dance clubs, simps, and a university system that continues to warp minds. And again not to be mean or hurtful to anyone out there, INCLUDING the ladies, but the 95% of the dating world is lopsided against MOST men and even then, the top echelon of men STILL have to worry about the time, feelings, money, energy, divorce aspects after "committing" to falling in love/being monogamous. I honest to God do believe society has never faced this severity of a breakdown between the g^e(nd!ers.
I've just hit the point where I would rather spend time with my dog or friends instead of paying for a date where the most likely outcome is never hearing from her again. I've actually started bringing my dog on some dates. That way when it inevitably doesn't turn into anything at least I got him out of the house.
All the good men are sick of constantly being rejected and Ghosted, while women are out there chasing “Chad’s who only use women, which leads to them having bad experiences and leads to women putting all men in the same category, I get so frustrated seeing women make the same mistake time and time again and not learn from them
Theres plenty of good men. Everytime i hear a woman say this literally have horrible habits of picking good men. Theres plenty of good men. All she has to do is look at the men she rejected or she friendzoned. She only wants the men that SHE wants. I told women all the time. Just because you like him 9/10 he will reject you because he doesnt see you attractive or they already been taking. She only wants men that she wants that dont want her!
In my country where there is high unemployment rate, one can not be to picky at what job you want to do. You must take what you can get, whether you like it or not. The ultimate goal is to be able to provide for yourself and loved ones, not having a cosy job.
As a man, I can say that things are a lot easier, if you are gainfully employed. The question about one's job is one of the first question is being asked when meeting someone new. A lot of men tie their identity to their job, also. This makes it hard if/when you have to change careers. That being said, it is important to find something in your life that is uniquely you, may that be a hobby, charity work, travel, workouts ... something positive you can fall back on in hard times. If you don't do that, and make your relationship the sole source of your happiness, it creates a very unhealthy dynamic. Then there is of course the financial aspect of a relationship, and working for a bank I can say that most people are more emotionally attached to their money than anything else in their lives, your financial situation will affect your relationship, one way or another.
Men tie their identities to their job because women seek men with status and high-income occupations. If women cared about men's employment as much as men cared about the work women do, job identity would not be a thing. People are attached to money because finances are the number one cause of consternation in a relationship. Finally, most people don't have a unique thing about themselves anyone cares about. If you are the only person on the planet to do underwater basket weaving with natural Clydesdale horse hair as the weaving medium of choice, that's not going to get you a date. Millions of people do charity work, travel, workout, and have normal hobbies.
There are plenty of "good men"....that aren't 6 ft tall, don't have six-pack abs, and work jobs for less than six figures that they don't like. I'm glad I'm old, have grand kids, and don't have to deal with "Tik Tok" girl nonsense. I feel bad for young men today.
666
Thanks
I’m about to turn 30 and have wanted a family my whole life, but the juice ain’t worth the squeeze
So true
She needs help women don't appreciate us anymore I put my life at risk everyday to put food on the table
They always ask ‘where are the good men?’ and never ‘Does a good man want me to begin with?’
It's always the most entitled and vocal women, like the one in the tiktok video, that demand top quality when they themselves aren't up to par. They show that they are the ones to avoid.
Truly, if you have to ask, you're not qualified for outside the bedroom. No ifs ands or buts
maybe 1 out of 100 will think critical about their behaviour. they think they are perfect. hypocrits
Excellent post.
@Jumpyman_thegamerYT if you have to ask, you're not qualified. Plain&simple
Every woman says she "wants a good man," until she meets one who requires her to be a better woman.
DING DING DING!
Or she meets one and she gets bored and leaves anyway because she's too used to dating toxic men.
Don't forget they don't want to change for an good man.
@@LeeEverett1key word, unfortunately, is “used.” Most Women subconsciously want to be “used.”
@@LeeEverett1 Story of my love life. I'm pretty much zero maintenance and zero drama. They fall in love with me for a year or two, then ditch me when the infatuation wears off.
I asked the women I worked with to define what their definition of a "good man" is and they all said a man that treats them right, doesn't lie to them, takes care of his appearance, isn't conceded and respects women. I then asked them was their last boyfriend a good man and they all said no! So they chose the "bad boy" over the good man! Women will say what they want, but then respond to the opposite of what they say!
It's not hard to take care of your appearance yet we do and still nothing 😂
been that way for decades...ignore what women say, and watch what they actually do
It’s ironic that you seem to be attracted to these type of women. It has clearly skewed your entire view of women. It works both ways dude. Or do you truly believe that every woman is attracted to toxic men? Or just the ones you’re attracted to ?
Champaign wishes on a boxed-wine budget
@@stargazer3828 bc you asked a handful of women you work with as a sample size!
Meanwhile a successful lawyer friend of mine gets turned down all the time by his dates telling him he works too much. You just can’t win. 😂
Yeah, you really can’t
Cause you can’t out work ugly, it’s all genetic selectiom
They want a man with a lawyer’s salary but don’t realize the time he has to dedicate to make that money
Actually, you can. Stay away from those women.
Don’t try to apply logic where there is none.
Loving your job is a luxury, and is largely outside of your control (boss, coworkers, work assignments are all not within your control). I had a girl reject me partly because I "wasn't passionate about my job". Like, sorry. I live in the real world, not a disney movie. Work is not always going to be something you love, especially when the expectation is that the man will make good money. High paying jobs are often stressful, require long hours, have mundane tasks, or you have a sociopathic manager. But if a guy loves his job putting fries in the bag, then they won't want him because he's broke.
I have only met only a few people in my life that really loved their jobs. Most people honestly just want their job to pay them money so that they can live and enjoy other things. I find it silly in interviews when the employer wants to know why you want that particular job in their company. When the honest answer is you want money.
The working class dude trying to feed his kids can't really be assed to feel like he's living out the job of his dreams. That being said, my under-employed and unemployed friends really get up their own asses with aimless fecklessness and terminally online nonsense. They rot from within.
Exactly. Focus on passions outside of work.
This is why the world is so messed up. Women who put there expectations in men in dating. They should go out and find the job they love and then maybe they will solve their own issues go work for your money honey ain’t no man gonna be your sugar daddy
I'm glad that said girl rejected you. A woman finding a man with a job he's not passionate about an "ick"(dumb word), is a toxic lady who should never get married.
At 56, I'm older than most of the people in the comments.
My satisfaction comes from other sources than my job. Careers often go away.
@@real_fjcalabrese Congratulations! You're 12 years older than me. I know more than you think I do
I can relate. There's a reason my job has to pay me well. My part-time job, on the other hand, barely pays me at all. I love it and I get fulfillment from it, so the money's not important.
Exactly. Made some sacrifices in early 20s, to land a good job by 26. Focus on passions outside work (and manage your time).
52 year old guy here. I hear you, bro. Well said.
Also, turning your passion into a career could ruin it for some people. Attaching schedules, meetings, bosses and objectives to something you love doing can kill it real quick.
Exciting video, A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldn't say it didn't go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Lots of them are around. They’re either not tall enough, not wealthy enough, or too nice for you. Never satisfied.
Big fedora energy here ⬆️ I would bet my life savings you you regularly post on Reddit
@@JackDeLadyou you? You might want to learn to spell check before trying to insult someone. 😂
and guess what you as a man can never make them satisfied. doomed relationship
@@JackDeLad*Yawn* the whole fedora/incel insult has been abused to the point of meaninglessness.
@@brettstarks1846yeah it’s just like leftists calling everything racist it’s a joke
This video reminded me of something a friend of mine once told me.
Women don’t want to deal with the struggle. They wait at the finish line for the winners. They do not stand beside you for all the years of struggle it takes to become one.
After seeing many men I know lose their relationships due to chronic illness, unexpected unemployment, major injury etc I find it hard to fault his logic.
Also “not all women” for those typing angry replies. But the only girl in my life that has stood by me as I developed a chronic illness/disability is my cat. She’s a sweet heart.
Look at all the 'chick flicks' and romance novels that are popular. They're always about an aggressive super-rich alpha-male, often born into money (i.e. either an heir or even a prince), who a woman has the emotional intelligence to bring the best out of.
Poor and working-class men need not apply for such fantasies.
It's an extremely retrograde fantasy, as toxic as many a man's misogynist fantasy, because it forces men to be trapped in the most toxic roles. It's also fundamentally classist (which is a form of bigotry I find a lot of upwardly mobile, supposedly 'progressive' women hate to talk about, and is one of the few forms of bigotry the whole 'woke' movement seems to have ignored, which is why we see so many working-class/blue-collar men voting for Trump etc).
Just as men need to stop indulging in porn, I'd argue that women need to stop engaging in these fundamentally problematic, and (whisper it) anti-feminist Cinderella/Pretty Woman/50 Shades of Grey/The Prince and Me type fantasies.
Yes, most women don't stay committed in sickness and in health. Some men feel honor-bound to white knight by actually taking their vows literally when the woman wouldn't. Maybe we're best to all just acknowledge that the only place for unconditional love is a relationship between parent and child. Romantic relationships last only as long as both partners keep the other happy. That isn't a failing of women. It's more that it's a fair standard for both sexes. The marriage vows were there for social and economic stability when women couldn't get paid employment due to patriarchy & acute discrimination. That is no longer current. I don't fault women for leaving when the man becomes financially dependent on them if he isn't a primary caregiver for their or her children. If it's due to health problems that are temporary you should probably stay and try to make things work, but only for so long.
Im not an angry replie either, been married 22 years now. Plus 10 cats or so, outdoors chasing mice & snakes. Im fascinated by all this cause of the larger implications in of our dumpster-fire society we live in.
@@jeremycole3008yes, but you clearly chose well, unlike modern men who don't and then cry when she leaves them, also you probably continued to better yourself and still treated her like the queen as you met her, where us modern men don't, we neglect ourselves and our women an then act surprised when the marriage fails..
@@jeremycole3008thats our modern society in a nutshell
She should probably be asking herself, "How come the men I am attracted to are not good men?"
💯👏🏻👍🏻
thats "accountability" and they're allergic
This is 100% it. So glad I found a woman that appreciates me for who I am.
"Why do I s"xually reward traits other than what I say I want? Why am I a hypocrite?"
@@edheldude facts
My dad had the same job for 31 years - some days he liked it, some days he hated it. And sometimes he told us that, sometimes he kept it between him and our mom haha. What mattered most was being there for his family. He worked to go home. His sweat equity kept us going to school and kept our tummies full.
There is an unbelievable amount of honor in that and probably 80-90% of the world is made up those kinds of people; they make the world spin.
Me thinketh exactly and lot of this type of., talk from these inexperienced girls live in the Cinderella warm bath of Love world instead of the Man's everyday decision of Commitment to your.......Family World!@!?😉🤪😁
@@XaloGunner 👍
Absolutely. Your dad's mission was providing for his family. And his job was a means to an end.
The significance doesn't have to come from the action per se, but why you do the action.
As a 56 year old blue collar man, divorced and been told decent looking lol. My experience of most of my dates is being a blue collar man is a non starter for sooooo many women which leaves me concluding that they want a meal ticket and not a man.
Many women will accept high-paid, skilled, blue-collar guys.
Most women today want prestige, money and luxury. If a man can't provide it or loses his ability to provide it she will leave him.
Sounds like you’re attracted to toxic women
Most women have no hobbies or personality of their own. They have to live vicariously through you. Blue collar work doesn’t look as good on their Instagram profile so they can’t brag to their 304friends
yep !
I am 53 and I have been hearing the "Where are all the good men?" statements from women. And these are the same women who say that the "good men" are boring and they do not have anything exciting going on in their lives, but the thing I find amazing is the "good men" who were not interesting in the beginning are now the men that women are looking for when their hearts get broken by the men they find "hot" or "sexy". Meanwhile, the actual "good men" have either moved on or they make the decision to stay single. And most single men do well for themselves.
After women ride the bad boys, have a few divorces and get old so no man wants them, that's when they look for the good man. You know the one who pays all the bills and never cheats, the boring guy they really don't want but had to settle for.
@@jonathangriffin8060 💯
They are continuously getting the feeling of missing out
I find it interesting that there's so much emphasis on this ambition toward career. I'm not happy with where my career is at 39 years old. I probably do complain too much about my career but there is nothing I can do about it until my daughter graduates high school. My wife passed away when my daughter was 6 years old and I've had to work with clients that pay more to free up more time to be available for raising my kid. I'd rather be a good father that's miserable for 3-6 hours a day than one who loves his career and is a terrible father for even one second. I work hard enough to be able to put food on the table, and the rest of my time, energy and attention go to raising a teenage girl, 9 years later. She's well-adjusted, shows respect, and is a 4.0 student ... so I'd say I made the right choice. I can focus on my career again at 42 when she graduates. Thanks again Courtney for correcting these extreme views, and introducing some subtlety into the value of men and women.
Yeah to be completely honest, I don’t expect to ever love my career. I’m not delusional enough to believe my passions could ever pay the bills either. So long as I don’t hate my job and it pays enough for me to afford my actual passions, then I’m happy.
Good on you for prioritizing being a father. Your daughter will appreciate it I’m sure.
God bless you and your daughter. 🙏🏾 I respect men who work for their ass off for their families.
As a single dad, I applaud you doing the right thing for your child. It's really hard being a single parent. Especially a single dad cause the world doesn't want to give your breaks the way single Moms seem to get.
Career is not that important. Don't worry. Live your life
Sorry for your loss, bro. You're doing right by your daughter though, don't lose heart in that. Stay strong and keep fighting for her.
They are with the good women.
Beat me to it.
Not all of them, unfortunately.
Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Social media has turned the majority of both men and women into narcissists. Most empaths that still exist have already found other empaths to marry. Most narcissists already had their chance with at least one empath and blew it - now they only have other narcissists to choose from.
So we’re supposed to work 24/7? Most people change jobs at least once during their lifetime, it doesn’t mean that we’re “evil”. Also what are women doing? Complaining 24/7?
You literally just did the same thing you claim the women are doing
Complaining online
@@handsomebarber424I was being sarcastic to make a point of how dumb they sound.
@@handsomebarber424 He didnt ask: :Where are all the good girls at", nor clicked on Courtney's content expecting to find one here either. Its more amusing than anything else.
Women that are actually good women know where the good men are, they recognize good men when they see them, and (most importantly) THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO GOOD MEN. If someone is having a hard time finding good people, that's usually a "them" issue, not the fault of the people they're looking for.
Women used to love a man and support him even in down times. Now she's defining a good man as someone who already has everything figured out and she can just come in at the end. Also, your job wont matter if she isnt attracted to you at all to begin with.
Or if you lose your job and the money and benefits that go with it.
Gonna be blunt here. If I'm focused on my career and happy with where I'm at, why the hell would I invite someone else into my life to screw that up? When I'm focused on my career or my passion, I don't leave my house. I don't talk to anybody. I just focus on that. If you want a guy who is passionate in his career, you're only setting yourself up for neglect in the future.
THIS GUY.., what your really saying, is you want to be alone in life, nothing wrong wit that, but then jus say that..
@phabeondominguez5971 I'm not saying that. You are. What I'm saying is that a person who is truly happy alone will want to remain alone. I'm not happy alone. And if a woman wants to date me, she shouldn't expect me to be happy alone. Because if I was happier by myself, then I wouldn't date her.
Exactly they want you to make all the money but then have all the time and you can't get both
You have to make a sacrifice to a good woman
@@michaelashmead581 read what you said, then read what I said, then read what you replied, and if that's how you come across here in the digital realm, how must you appear to women in the real world?
Under no circumstances does career fulfillment have anything to do with a man's character - which you also say in different words. However, a non-fulfilling career can have a negative impact on a relationship. In a "good" man, it can bring him down, and the whole relationship vibe can be brought down with that. In an "evil" man, it can make him behave in an unacceptable, even downright criminal in extreme cases, manner towards his partner. In any case, if a woman wants to see if a man is "good" or "evil", career fulfillment is definitely not the place to check...
This sounds like "first world" dating advice. Every job my dad ever worked was blue - collar and dangerous, but he did so to provide for his family. My mom always stood by him. Also, a man can excel in a job without actually liking the job.
That's true the thing that helps me maintain my focus and sanity at my job is knowing I can provide for my family and still get enough free time to spend with them
When failure isn't an option....don't.
Exactly! If a man's passion is his family, he'll endure any job necessary to provide for them.
No you CAN NOT excel at a job you don't like. Jesus Christ!! @ Courtney Ryan do you see why as a man, I can't get along or support other Men just like me? It's because of stupid crap that Man just said.
@@MrTJMaddoxInstead of reacting angrily, that's if you're interested in dialogue and not a fight, I would suggest offering your perspective in detail.
Otherwise, of course nobody should stay at a job they don't like. BUT, that's where men are the difference. We do what we have to do, however long it takes, however much it takes. We should still be doing the required work of a good life, but if temporary circumstances warrant staying at your job - then men just do it, like Nike said.
I love my Welding career. She sounds like a Gold Digger.
At the end of the day they all are.
@@denislafreniere-qc8wx I don't believe I said all of them were. Just her.
@@MrTJMaddox same here, i was video game graphic designer at uni but figured out welding and metalwork made me much happier overall. The fact u can make actual things that will serve you and others and that power of melting metal with a power of a sun under your fingertips. Also stickwelding smells nice lol.
@@swirekster Isn't welding bad for your health?
@@GalyeArt Used to be but there is effective personal protective equipment to deal with that now.
A friend nailed it:
"Where have all the good men gone?"
"They saw you coming first!"
8:55 yes we are, but no we aren't projecting how we feel about ourselves onto other people. What happened was we treated others the way we wanted to be treated and got walked on as a result, so now we're treating others the way they treated us instead. My guard wasn't up before but it is now.
Yep. Women will say “that’s not fair because women are experiencing the same thing!” Well, maybe if you didn’t only choose the top 2.5% of guys, then we wouldn’t be in this predicament. Those guys treat the majority of women the way the majoriy of women treat the majority of men. Guess it sucks to be on the other end huh
I think courtney doesn’t understand that at this point, many good men are just tired of being abused and hurt by women to the point of not caring about women anymore. If she had to say what she just said in the video at your time code, then she has no empathy for men at all.
WTF is she talking about. The majority of people who have ever lived hates their job or will grow to hate it. But a man will get up every morning and endure it for the good of his family and himself. If you love your job, you're one of the lucky few or you're living in self-delusion (very common in corporate offices). To say men that dislike their jobs are evil is just projection. She got mistreated by some dude.
She is basically saying you can't complain about your job because it shows weakness. These women are comical because they want communication from their man but only if it is good stuff or something they can use against them later on.
So you're saying most people will _choose_ to be hateful? A weird perspective but it might be true. People do what they love, and most people love being overweight, poor, and frustrated.
Exactly!
Good men are EVERYWHERE! Unfortunately, it’s all about looks and money instead of personality, there’s no pushback to that.
Most women today overinflate their worth/level by only wanting to date the same 1% of men. Therefore they overlook the 99% whom many are good and BETTER men, even though they don't want to show it off like the 1% do.
Dating is completely all over the place.
Good men are often humble and that doesn't always stand to them in the dating world
niceness isn't attractive, so those guys end up being invisible
@@j.davila4523true but is also why I have zero sympathy when they pick poorly.
And then she's going to complain that he's always at work and never has time to spend with her.
Winner WInner Chicken Dinner
Never happy, no matter what😮
Even if a man is having a rough time at work, the reassurance from his woman that no matter what his work experience is like, he is appreciated at home for providing for his loved ones will carry him a long way.
True. Seems rare these days tho
A man should expect gratitude from his woman.
Appreciation, what's that?
That's called Fictional movies
Having a Good man requires a level of accountability that many women are not willing to accept, because a good man won't tolerate lax efforts in terms of his life goals. He also won't put up with a distraction in the form of a woman either.
I love your perspective on good men. And it's true what you said. Personally, I never like being someone who's in the position to be cruel to people, regardless. Being mean is not cool. Really wish people were more nicer.
Being in that position is a challenge. Unfortunately it’s easier for people in positions of power to lead through threats of firing and fear. Leading by example and through inspiration of others requires actual work, so many would rather take the easier route of being a dictator.
Yeah but speaking from watching friends and myself women respond way better when you’re a jerk sorry it’s just how it is.
All the good men are just done playing your games
That's not true of Courtney nor of a number of other women. Please don't lump a whole gender into a category like that.
Where are the good women at? Why is it that men always have to have everything figured out all the time and it's ok for women to be spinning her wheels? If as a man I'm supposed to have everything figured out all the time, then what does she have to do? I thought women are supposed to be nurturing, what's the point if I can't even get that from a woman? Men are not put on this earth to take on a basket case broken woman in his life and just take on someone with all kinds of problems and issues that he's "supposed to" figure things out for. Why would he do that? Men want a woman who will make his life better and vice versa. So where are these good women who will do that?
I was made redundant from a job I was overworked in and hated earlier this year. I'm not not earning at the moment and instead doing a course on my savings.I feel way more intellectually satisfied, motivated and generally more health focused than ever. Sure I'm kinda broke but at least I have the drive, passion and ambition back in me.
As a guy, Courney lost me when she compared her own experience of not being happy with her job. It's definitely not the same for women. A more apt comparison would be a woman suddenly having lot of acne on their face. Women typically derive their self-esteem form their appearances, men from their jobs/career.
Courtney doesn’t realize that she NEVER would’ve dated a guy in the same career situation she was in during her 20s.
@@AlexanderSkinnerVidsDING DING DING 🤭
@@AlexanderSkinnerVidsAnd then they ask “where are all the good men?”
People are all broken and we live in a broken world. But there is hope. The key is finding it. It is something to do with a door.
Not really related to this video but I regularly go for walks at the park by my house. There was this girl I’d see there on a near daily basis. We were always friendly towards each other and I got the impression she was showing interest in me. I’m not the type of guy to approach women in public unless I have a good feeling it will go well. Last Thursday I finally struck up a conversation with her. We didn’t talk for long because she had to get back to work but I got her name and number and said I look forward to seeing her again soon. I thought everything was great. Fast forward to this past Monday and I text her to see if she’ll be around the park. Her response is no because her husband is taking her out to lunch. That’ll be the last time I attempt something like that
When I see a woman I'd like to date, I always assume she's either in a relationship already, has no interest in me, and/or is playing me to boost her ego. So far it's had a 100% success rate.
@ I usually think the same way but allowed myself to believe otherwise this time. It’s very shallow on the woman’s part to do that but I can at least understand it. In my case, I don’t understand why she gave me her name and number before telling me she was married
Sounds like she was playing games but don’t give up bro, having the confidence to strike up conversations with women puts you ahead of many people, you’ll get success eventually just keep your head up 🙏🏾
I feel for you. Seems like she just wanted validation or just some excitement. Ultimately though it’s scummy what she did and situations like that happen when you put yourself out there. I wish you good luck.
My wife fell in love with me when I was a young man who had no career and was actually at my worst health. She saw the emotional stability I had even in my lowest points. She also saw the potential in my intelligence. Thirty years later, I am in my early 50's and at the peak of my career, my fulfillment, my purpose, etc. I got to this great moment in my life largely because I had the support of an amazing girl, because there was a time in our relationship when she had to be the main breadwinner.
That's rare and only 2 people noticed. Thanks for sharing, it gives up hope brother 🙏
Now that people are getting married a bit later, I've noticed that a lot of people (possibly slanted towards women) are looking for a partner that is finished "growing". They want a partner that's already deep into their career and that it's a job they love. They need a partner already making a lot of money, already with well-established hobbies, already with a good balance and as mentioned in the video, everything figured out. Not many people are interested in growing with their partner, they want to date the final product, and I find that really sad. Growing together through good and bad and everything else builds a strong relationship.
@@jdarnellsix, make that 3 people. I have a wife just like his. She had my back before we were even dating, and once I recognized that, it was just a matter of time before we tied the knot. 30+ years later, she'll still do anything for me, and I'll still do anything for her. Women like them aren't as rare as a lot of guys think they are (just as good men aren't as rare as a lot of women think they are). I know quite a few who are just as devoted to their husbands as my wife is to me.
Good judgment on her part and it paid off well for her. Congrats to the both of you, that's wonderful.
There was a time when women used to stick. Wedding vows used to say "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part". The sacred vows meant I will stay with you forever no matter what. Then feminism.
As a guy in his 40's I've never had a 'fulfilling' job. But I have had ones that pay the bills and allow me to live the lifestyle I want and care for people around me that I care about. It's just no part of my identity. Alternatively, it's actually a good relationship test to see how a person, guy or girl, navigates through life's challenges including the loss of a job.
I think that’s a big problem right now. People tend to forget the fact that the vast majority of people work basic jobs. We don’t have enough 16-24 year olds to do all the work. Just cause bro installs internet or works at a warehouse shouldn’t mean he’s invisible or not good enough. People keep wanting to live beyond their means it’s frustrating. You don’t need much to survive in America people
A quick Google search of “Kiley Casciano” will tell you she-a barely employed actor-married another slightly-more employed actor named Matthew Davis when she was 26 and he was 40 in 2018. According to his Wikipedia page, they recently divorced this year. This is projection at its finest.
Where are all the good men? They are the ones who are rejected for not being a jerk that most women go towards.
Let me explain for you brother., it’s womanese for where are all
The ( gigachads) 6feet tall 6 pack 6 figure income 6 inches in the pants. That’s what these modern women want. And they also expect to just show up literally have no skills, no communication skills, no financial literacy skills, no relationship skills. They just expect to show up and you keep them entertained 24/7 and keep them fed and give them gifts and money 💵 all
On your dime. And you better not expect sex. 😂 enjoy the cats 🐱 ladies
Unfortunately that's often true
No one can love their job all the time. You might be conscientious and hard working, but still get laid off or passed over for promotion. Life just isn't fair at times.
Well, to a degree I agree. Just switched jobs and improved my job life tenfold. Of course also there are tasks and situations in my new company which are not easy to tackle, so I try the "Hurray, a problem!" mood. In essence, without problems my job would be futile.
I went through this when I was in my 20ies. However, I always kept my focus and performed well. I chose my passion as work. Granted, that job paid really well, but I kept asking myself, is this the job you wanna do for the next 10 years or follow your true passion. I chose to resign and go in a completely different field. Best decision, and it turned out very good.
I felt like her conclusion was overly broad. There are plenty of folks who need to do jobs they don’t necessarily love because that’s the best way to build a living for their families. Here I’m thinking of folks who do backbreaking or dangerous work. You aren’t likely to leap out of bed excited to get at it.
Also, folks may have a job they love, but something like a management change happens to greatly diminish that love. The man doesn’t automatically become “bad” if that happens.
I think I could have been more convinced of her point if she’d tempered some of her language and narrowed her conclusion a bit.
A statement that a man who’s always unhappy and negative in life is not likely to make a good boyfriend or husband would be much more defensible.
That tiktok girl statement seems more bitter and hurt than anything I've read on this comment section, Courtney summarizes the career part really well about having ups and downs, at the end of the day it's work, being career driven doesn't mean you're never stressed or want to rest
Happy i gave up trying 4 years ago. Now I can hit the gym, restore my '67 chevy, dirt bike, hunt, fish, and work on the property. Whenever i was in a relationship my life sucked. Now I can be happy and not have somebody ruin it.
I have a job that's not flash but after a messy life of chronic illness and abuse I'm beating the odds that I'm still alive and I'm beating even more odds that I have a job at all so I'm happy with where I am, people miss me when I'm not at work. I own and great little house that I built myself and I'm debt free so there's no reason to work more. Health is wealth and lot of people don't know that until too late. There's a lot more to life then money and work. :)
I really appreciate your content, Courtney. Your approach to helping people understand the world of dating better is incredibly refreshing and useful. Your calm and collected demeanor combined with super insightful thoughts makes for very nutrient rich content. Good brain food. Thanks for being you!
So many great Comments from “Good” men! Love to my brothers.
AMEN !
My career got off to a rough start. I had landed a job in public accounting before I started my final semester of college and the job started two weeks after I graduated. I was thrilled! But just under eight months into the job, I was cut out of the blue because the new Office Managing Partner suddenly decided that I wasn’t a good fit for the firm (didn’t give me a reason why). I then worked briefly for a small local public accounting firm but that firm also was a bad long term fit for me. After that job I started applying for other accounting jobs, found one at large bank while I was applying for another job at the same bank, and now I’ve been in my role for over six years! I enjoy my job for the most part, but especially when I get off holidays that others don’t get. I can that one of my best values is being battle tested when life throws you screwballs unfairly and unexpectedly!
Advice to women: It’s ok if the man doesn’t euphorically love his job all the time, that’s part of life and every job out there but look for the man who can be in a tough job and still find parts of it that he does enjoy and he’s grateful for that job he has and what that job has provided for him.
There's more to life than your job. Sometimes you need to stick with your job to pay the bills. For most people, a job is just a means to make money in order to pay bills. It doesn't define who they are.
Guys, here it is- go ahead and disregard ANYTHING a woman says if she’s on tiktok. That platform is complete garbage.
Loving and enjoying your work is rare nowadays. Evil bosses, jealous coworkers, crazy kamikaze-type of assignments, stress is something that 99% of us have to endure in order to get that paycheck. Those who truly are in love in their job are workaholics and have no time for anything else, nor he/she is interested in. A good and smart woman understands that.
I've never had my career as a priority in my life. In fact, work talk bores me to death, I just check out. Now, I'm doing what I love and what I studied, but as a designer I'd still be a creative whether I had this job or not, it's just who I am. But I never use my job as an identifier.
Hello Courtney, yes, I believe so. You are what you do. Having a positive experience working, what will take the most time out of most people, will brighten your life. Though, the reverse also works. I perceived my work as more positive when I improved myself. I do think it starts there. People very positive about their job, are already positive people. It is the energy, the vibe of your surroundings or your inner state that will amplify your world.
It seems a lot of women are looking for a parent. Someone to correct them then blame if they don’t like the guidance. Men would accept this role if the women admitted this is really what they honestly want but they won’t
You find good people when you become good yourself. When I was a jerk I only experienced other jerks…
When I decided to make changes in my life. The people around me changed and I didn’t wonder anymore. A lot of people create their own problems and then place blame on others, it’s kinda human nature.
But, to each their own. Not my problem. I can’t get rid of people being good to me fast enough lol.
That tiktok Girl is kinda delusional, I agree With your take on having a career, sadly some girls can't handle the idea of a man having ups and downs on their career, one day you're an important member of a team at work and next month you're laid off and working a lower end job even with a degree.
From the way she speaks I can tell some tiktok girls have never faced any hardships, and that's not bitter it's just the way it is
I see too many women on social media complaining that their husbands work too much. They then use that as a reason to divorce. You work hard to provide and lose your family because you work too hard. Doesn’t seem worth it sometimes.
First of all, she's pushing the attitude that a man is only worthwhile to society or a woman if he's working.
Secondly, being unhappy in your job is a good impetus to get ahead, find a better one!
Thirdly, if a man is unhappy in his job, a good woman would WANT him to switch jobs so that he could be happier.
Fourthly, why are we listening to idiots on TikTok? Using words like "evil?" Forget her...
My job doesn't define my happyness. It does play a part but it's not the full scoop. It comes from completing big & small goals.
Whenever I meet new people, I tell them that I am a mathematician, and I share one thing I enjoy most about my profession: I help young minds feel more confident with their ability to do math. There's no doubt that being passionate about your career and how you work with others speak volumes.
I am still in the early stages of my career, but I feel really good about the direction that I am heading in. Plus, it is important to remember to maintain a healthy work-life balance! That is one of the many keys to achieving happiness and peace of mind.
Great advice that has helped me and my wife. Thanks
They are with good women.
Here's the thing. Men enjoy their solitude and will do anything alone. We will go fishing. We will go read a book. We will go for a walk. We will watch a series on TV. We will play video games. If we are artistic or musically gifted we will exercise those talents. We collect things. We have hobbies.
We aren't mystical complicated beings.
That's what surprises women. They say things like, "Where are the good men?" Men have no problem being alone, doing things alone, and being alone.
Where are we? We are seeking a peaceful sanctuary away from chaos. Be peaceful, civil, supportive, and cooperative and maybe you will be allowed in our lives. And maybe we will share our resources with you. That's if you can be on your best behavior. I'm not perfect, I don't expect you to be perfect. But we should both strive to be "good".
Honestly most of these social media girls making these short vids are probably really toxic no matter what they say.. I think it’s all talk but they don’t live like they speak. But Courtney seems like a good women also very open to new perspectives and logical. These short vids usually don’t make any sense and the girls sound really dumb
I 100% agree with a man that is happy with his work is a better person to be around.
I thank this woman for weeding herself out of the dating market... Watch out for this woman Brothers... 👍
For women like her it's always men's fault. She did us a favor.
Even when i don't agree with you, i can understand your perspective without feeling irritated about feeling unheard.
I think it's just easier to live with fewer things that cause you to stress. If you're having trouble with employment that can be huge for anyone. I had an ex the never worked while we were together and would make excuses for not doing her part but instead making plans for a future together without doing anything to further reach those goals. She would blame me for not waking her up in time to go drive around job searching. The situation is far more complicated than any pragmatic relationship could handle unfortunately and fortunately.
Where are all the good men? I divorced a woman who was sleeping around on me in 1993 to never marry again. I stopped dating around 2005 and retired after 33 years with a full pension and in 2015, I started collecting Social Security. I go to breakfast every morning with my sixth, who is also male. He quit dating 5 years ago after a bad relationship and moved home. For us, women have lost their value. Where are all the good men? We are living our lives as best as we can without drama of any kind.
lol all these women worried about where the good men have all gone. It’s a hard pill to swallow that you’re not wanted isn’t it.
To any woman that asks: "Where are the good men", I always say to check their friend zone. You stuck them there because they weren't everything you wanted in a partner but they provide a small amount of what you want while you search for the mythical perfect guy.
Wow. Spot on. Too bad I didn’t realize and accept this before my divorce.
A mean/negative person is unhappy with themselves. I know I was.
So true.
I think your perspective on the nuances of this subject were pretty spot on. I left a miserable job after 17 years...found a career I love at 39, that also has many challenges, but overall gives me fulfillment and allows me to provide for my son. I think, as Richard Reeves put it, there is a need to be needed, or rather, a sense of purpose that many men lack in today's world. This is one of many reasons women are questioning where "good men" are, even though they exist in the shadows of modernity these days.
Many good men are avoiding Family Law court.
Such an unproductive thing to say. Stop with the doomer mindset.
@ Unproductive? It’s fact; I’ve lived it twice. Not “Doom”…..but reality.
@jamescoffman8096 Bad things happen to both sides, so to result to just coming to the conclusion that you did doesn't help anyone. Not to mention there is nuance to family law court. Are their unfair outcomes yes, but the same could be said for women as well. We need to stop the division, work on ourselves, and be more discerning when choosing a spouse.
@ There’s nothing quite like unsolicited advice. My original answer stands; whether you like it or not.
ngl, I work in food service. When I was a manager I HATED it. I was evil! Probably why my wife left me. I busted myself down to cook. I don't make a lot of money, but I have never been happier. And yes...good men literally go to work and go home. Also the gym. Working on a job that you really hate, but can't leave because you have to support other people can definitely make a man evil.
TikTok women should be banned from giving advice.
From my personal experience, the kindest people I've met were either the ones really happy with their lifes, or the broken. So for the question where the good men are: not where the women are who need to ask this question, I guess. I'm sorry for the "good" women, who genuinely seek companionship, who struggle to find partners, because less compatible ones scared them away.
Where are the good women? Good women aren’t on TikTok!
A person who is contented and satisfied is happy for others when things go well for them and they get good fortune.
So not being happy with your job makes you evil? What? xD I understand it may make you unhappy and it may affect your realtionship, but evil? I have a feeling she wants to say "I want a man with good career who makes lot of money" but in a way that won't make her look bad xD
I'm also sick of this "insecure=evil, confident=good" bullshit. Yes, narcisstic psychopats are the greatest people in the world xD
I won't lie, I hated some of my prior jobs and it did play a part in my life.
Now, I have the career I've always wanted and I'm excelling in my life.
I won't even lie, I've almost considered dating again (not going to, but I've been thinking about it).
Having my financial/career side of my life in line gives me greater mental health and a joyful spirit. I do agree about the struggles, they did make me a greater man.
I kinda like that lady, but I would like to add one thing every time I hear a woman say where are the good men I always feel like someone should just tell them they’re hiding in plain sight. If you are in fact, looking for a good man who is single chances are he supports himself has a job or a career Has a home has transportation you probably won’t find them at a bar or a club he’s probably not in his mom‘s basement. He probably isn’t sitting in front of a video game system all day long but probably has a system. It almost seems like the best place to find him would be like early in the morning on his way to work or after work doing things like grocery shopping clothes shopping, etc.
I was just on a date with a girl I went to school with. She was at the reunion last year.
I didn’t even knew there was one, because they connected over instagram and I don‘t participate in that I only do LinkedIn for business reasons.
Well, turns out all the people peaked are losers with a lot of debt and showcase their non existing boujee lifestyle on instagram.
I’m happy now that:
- I was not dating
- I was not travelling
- I was learning
- I was working
- I was taking every opportunity I could.
Now I bought my first real estate buildings and I bought my first Ferrari F8 Tributo. ❤️
Was quite a way from a Kia Forte to a Ferrari F8 Tributo.
It happens to me all the time. I’m a lawyer and I had to work really hard compared with average people. That’s something I accepted because I love my job, but people usually don’t accept that and make you feel weird. At the end, focusing on my career made me sacrifice many aspects of my social life, specially love
Disagreeing with people is not hatred. Having a different opinion is not hatred. Why do we insist on infantilizing women by saying that disagreeing with them is hatred?
So yeah, while I do think she's rage-baiting and maybe doing that thing people do where they try and find a sort of moral justfication for something they want to do anyways (I guess maybe some kind of hypergamy on her part)..there's no denying that there's a feedback loop between feeling fulfilled at work and a good romantic partner. It's a cornerstone of 20th century drama. The economic strife of the last 15 years has been a major contirbutor to the Incel Epidemic.
This has been a BRUTAL year for me career-wise, and it has largely made me less enthused about dating. It's made me feel awkward when I'm around people, given me less to converse about (because I don't want to vent all the time) and even I think made me less, how I do put it, biolgically enthusiastic. Plus, the instability just makes it hard to make plans. Right now there's somebody who I *think* is interested in me, but shes also like, too close to my career (which is always a risky at the best of times) and right now I don't think it would be very pleasant.
All the good men were rejected by these women. They said no. I'm very thankful of the woman I currently been dating for 7 years. Thankfully she made the right choice. I'm the nicest guy out there. Always going out of my way to keep her happy and she respects that from me.
They hate nice guys but they wonder where the good men are. They cant make up their minds.
A nice guy isn't a " a good guy ‐
We hate nice guys and rightly so.
What I should've said was they like "Bad Boys" instead.
Good man is a keyword for rich handsome and successful male. They are usually very selective with what who they date and marry.
I'm right here.
There’s good men around, most girls just choose not to be with them, 50% attraction and definitely 50% not being the guy she wants.
Can I make a comment please? We all love being in love and having our other half and knowing we have someone to face the world with. There is NO hate here with what I am about to say. My comment here is not to be mean or negative to anyone out there who are going down the "traditional" route. God bless you all out there with your happiness and goals. Courtney, you did say to leave a comment here... and thank you Courtney for always being objective, so sweet, and honest yet tactful. You have great heart mam, and I have truly enjoyed your videos who really wants everyone to be able to progress with these topics.
I just turned 50 years of age in mid-September 2024, straight white male, never married, no kids, born and have lived in Los Angeles my entire life. It is not just me either, there is virtually NO BENEFIT for 95% of men to pursue a traditional relationship today in MOST cities... even rural areas and/or "religious" facilities. So much is wrong.
In fact I will go even further and state that again, NOT just me, there is no amount of money or physical beauty that is going to be enough incentive for so many guys to want to continue or start back up again with the whole dating/romance/courting/traditional... "man up" type of duties with someone with the kind of history that has repeatedly shown that MOST w^>o>me^>n cannot commit to the commitment. They commit to how things FEEL all the while being pulled out by a universe of social media, dating apps, dance clubs, simps, and a university system that continues to warp minds.
And again not to be mean or hurtful to anyone out there, INCLUDING the ladies, but the 95% of the dating world is lopsided against MOST men and even then, the top echelon of men STILL have to worry about the time, feelings, money, energy, divorce aspects after "committing" to falling in love/being monogamous.
I honest to God do believe society has never faced this severity of a breakdown between the g^e(nd!ers.
Well said.
I've just hit the point where I would rather spend time with my dog or friends instead of paying for a date where the most likely outcome is never hearing from her again. I've actually started bringing my dog on some dates. That way when it inevitably doesn't turn into anything at least I got him out of the house.
All the good men are sick of constantly being rejected and Ghosted, while women are out there chasing “Chad’s who only use women, which leads to them having bad experiences and leads to women putting all men in the same category, I get so frustrated seeing women make the same mistake time and time again and not learn from them
Being willfully ignorant isn't a mistake.
Ahh i love the good men conversation, where are they? Getting no matches on apps and wondering where to meet women lol
Theres plenty of good men. Everytime i hear a woman say this literally have horrible habits of picking good men. Theres plenty of good men. All she has to do is look at the men she rejected or she friendzoned. She only wants the men that SHE wants. I told women all the time. Just because you like him 9/10 he will reject you because he doesnt see you attractive or they already been taking. She only wants men that she wants that dont want her!
In my country where there is high unemployment rate, one can not be to picky at what job you want to do. You must take what you can get, whether you like it or not. The ultimate goal is to be able to provide for yourself and loved ones, not having a cosy job.
As a man, I can say that things are a lot easier, if you are gainfully employed. The question about one's job is one of the first question is being asked when meeting someone new. A lot of men tie their identity to their job, also. This makes it hard if/when you have to change careers. That being said, it is important to find something in your life that is uniquely you, may that be a hobby, charity work, travel, workouts ... something positive you can fall back on in hard times.
If you don't do that, and make your relationship the sole source of your happiness, it creates a very unhealthy dynamic. Then there is of course the financial aspect of a relationship, and working for a bank I can say that most people are more emotionally attached to their money than anything else in their lives, your financial situation will affect your relationship, one way or another.
Men tie their identities to their job because women seek men with status and high-income occupations. If women cared about men's employment as much as men cared about the work women do, job identity would not be a thing. People are attached to money because finances are the number one cause of consternation in a relationship.
Finally, most people don't have a unique thing about themselves anyone cares about. If you are the only person on the planet to do underwater basket weaving with natural Clydesdale horse hair as the weaving medium of choice, that's not going to get you a date. Millions of people do charity work, travel, workout, and have normal hobbies.