This video literally made me cry. I thought I was crazy because I have often felt like I was an outsider who was watching my life on a video. I would also sit in front of the mirror and not recognize the person in the mirror was me.
who you telling i would always tell my sister it feels like my eyes are in the back of my head cuz i would always see this faded gray circle around everything i see it feels very weird and i hate it i would always say that the world feels fake and i feel numb i dont know if i should get hellp or not tho i think i have it cuz im alone or somethign
Does anyone else suffer from depersonalization? I can't maintain any relationships with others because I don't feel authentic or connected to my own self. I push anyone and everyone away. Can anyone relate?
Omg! Madison I feel that way too! Depersonalization and anti relationships! I have given up in trying to build relationships, I just enjoy the moments now! Depersonalization is the horror now for me cause I can’t control who I become around different people! Some think I am fake, other think I am crazy!
@@elizabethcook2867 very sorry dear! Just try to not be so anti social, try to open up to someone, I cut of family at some point but thank God they are my closest persons now
Me too, at first when I didn't know I literally called it a blessing because I had this way of thinking where I could separate me and the body basically and I would like the trans like feeling of disociating but as time went it got so bad I started to dissociate in front of people and I couldn't enjoy conversation or make any friends
I suffer from depersonalization/derealization disorder, and I can tell you this. it sucks. I sometimes go through days to weeks on end without feeling anything, just staring into space, and having to have EVERYONE talk super slowly so I can hear and understand them. when I snap out of my moments, I feel it all at once, and I might cry for hours on end
Something similar happened to me too! But fortunately it only lasted overnight. For me tho everything felt so fast and i was hallucinating left and right. At that time i thought it had something to do with entities and spirituality and stuff and i was so scared (my kid brain was just so so so stressed.) but i’m so thankful that i finally found a reason for it 😭😭😭
@@sleepycowboy.o hey man, i’m 21 and going thru a similar thing, totally feel u on how isolating and honestly dehumanizing this experience is, im tryna figure this shit out myself as well but ig shit that’s helped me at times is going out in nature and running, haven’t found much luck outside of that though…regardless i hope ur doing well. you’ll get thru this. i believe in u!
Sometimes I have moments where I feel like I’m out of my body and nothing is real. I just keep thinking about how I got here and what we’re doing in these bodies. How did I even get in this body? It feels extremely weird but calming. It’s like I’m looking at myself from above?? It confuses me because I physically feel out of my body. It tends to happen to me more when I’m alone or in crowded places, especially when I’m sleepy. I just feel numb and tired.
As someone with a dissociative disorder that has made my life anywhere from obnoxious to funny to heartbreaking, thank you for the representation! These videos deserve waaaaaay more recognition.
Tessa Maynard Tessa, God bless You sweetheart. I am just now realizing I have DID. Known about it for about 6 months. Even though my mom claims its only been 3 months. My sense of time is all messed up. Even after 10 years of therapy, my therapists never even knew. Nor did I. If you'd like a friend to chat with about this, a buddy to talk to, please respond and I'll share my email address.
@S Robin You're such a champ - I hope you're doing better now. I don't have DID, but I do have a dissociative disorder unfortunately. I have not remembered anything yet, I'm still working on it. Sending hugs your way
I’m 17, turning 18 next month, and I’m currently going through a possible D.I.D. diagnosis. It starts to explain a lot, especially when it comes to the fact I remember almost nothing about my whole middle school life as well as sophomore year of high school. I know usually it’s boring but I remember practically nothing. Through the rest of my high school life and after my graduation there have been moments where the urge to be someone else became strong and I’d often ‘pass out’ and ‘wake up’ without remembering anything or in somewhere different. I often get told how I act differently sometimes and bring up something that I don’t remember doing. I feel like I’m lying to everyone because sometimes I know and sometimes I don’t, even though I’m often not around anyone. My therapist is really kind and understanding, and I consider myself lucky to have a good therapist. He insists that it’s ok to feel bad but that he knows I’m not trying to fake it. That makes me feel more comfortable [EDIT: We tried but I’m actually moving away from a DID diagnosis, although it explained a lot it didn’t quite fit me! It possible that this urge for differing personalities actually stems a lot from not just my autism, but a possible mood disorder! While it’s still obvious that I suffer a lot from dissociative issues, it’s not DID! However that time I spent undergoing the process of that diagnosis taught me a lot, and I hope to find the right diagnosis for me!)
@@woozyz2769 My alters are aware and have a lot of the memories that I don’t, co-consciousness isn’t easy for me but thankfully we have lots of videos.
there was a time in my life where i brought up getting a possible OSDD diagnosis with my therapist and when i described how i was feeling she told me that everyone feels that way and sort of brushed me off. in a way it sort of hurt me - not because i didn’t get what i wanted, but i felt that my feelings about myself were invalid/untrue. i’m not sure what to do now, is there any advice you would give?
@@ghosty6618ask your therapist what field(s) they specialize in, if she doesn’t mention dissociative disorders/trauma healing, i encourage you guys to find a new one that will help with what you all are dealing with.. im so sorry you guys had to go through with having your feelings dismissed. i also suggest looking into the r/OSDD subreddit. it has helped us a lot for the past month.
Good you share with the pubilc your knowledge. We are very interested about you. Tell us more about your experience with the mental and try to elaborate more about you. In this way we can make a profile user persona, in online awarness and comments. We are not sure that we understand you , tell us more.
For anyone wondering, in my experience dissociation feels like you’re in a movie theatre and what you’re watching is your field of vision. You know what’s happening but you feel safe in this “theatre” to me at least.
I’ve been trying to figure myself out for 20+ years. Never knew how to explain it. Never felt right telling anyone. Never thought that all the puzzle pieces were to the same picture. When I finally stumbled upon this video, I never became so still, literally taking my breath away, time stopping, mind focused, but most of all, eyes watering as tears ran down my face. This video isn’t just a great collaboration of information for people to cope with or students to learn from. This video gave me all the answers I’ve been searching for my entire life, and even better, knowing what it all is means I can now finally find ways to help myself instead of losing my mind in the abyss. Thank you so much for making this video, so so much ❤️❤️❤️
Your post made me tear up! I seriously can relate to this! Its the greatest relief to be able to put a name to my condition. I have kept this private. It's a very difficult experience to explain, and I'm not really a big talker/complainer.
tara Toes I starting to feel that these types of disorders are a bit more common than they know. It seems that people that can relate to this often feel confused about what they are experiencing through many years and never seek help or talk to anyone about it. I finally opened up to one of my best friends about it and I never cried so much in my life. It was just as relieving as if was terrifying to explain it all out for the first time. I’m 30 now and I was 29 when I finally came out with it, I feel I have done more harm by not expressing it and seeking help sooner. I think it’s important to talk to people that can relate. When I was diagnosed with a rare cancer syndrome, it helped to talk to others that had it as well. If you feel comfortable you can message me, it’s never easy talking to people that can’t fully understand what it all means. There is sense of anxiety that they might feel disbelief and distrust during and after, so let me know if you need to talk ☺️
You are not alone. I too have spent decades hiding, remaining silent afraid of speaking & being labelled a freak. Friends never stayed very long & life felt like wading through a field of treacle. Suicide ideation many times and a failed attempt. Now however, I have a way of communicating it & have made an appointment for a Psych Assessment- unbelievable! Good Luck - I hope you find a management strategy and eventually peace.
@Ed I was 30 when I made this post and now I’m currently 32. I noticed issues when I was between 10-11 and have actually just been officially diagnosed with DID yesterday. It is impactful emotionally but also knowing is half the battle, and now can work toward working with it rather than fear it. I hope the best for all who has replied to this post as well, and appreciate the heartfelt comments.
jimmy Wimmy i wish it was that but it’s happened to me for years despite regular 8+ hr sleeping schedule. i’m thinking it’s the trauma from child abuse 🙈
1. The “Covert” DID is actually OSDD. People with DID can be covert while having alters, in fact most are. 2. Switches to other alters can last for days, months or years. 3. Integration is not the only therapy. Communication is also a type of therapy.
@@arya-rose8576 OSDD (otherly specified dissociative disorder) is what is called "Covert" in this video. It's actually a minor form of D.I.D. where there are several alters but no amnesia between them (in OSDD-1b) or when the fragments of personality are not as developed, in the case of OSDD-1a. A OSDD and a DID diagnosis are two different diagnosis and you can't go from one to the other. Now, what Covert and Overt really means, is how much you hide your disorder. In Covert system, people in your surrounding tends not to know that you have a disorder because alters are really good at impersonating one an-other. In Overt systems, people will know that we switch because it's much more obvious, most of the time because we feel comfortable enough to be ourselves instead of pretending. In this sense, you can totally go from Covert to Overt (note that most of the systems out there are Covert due to the stigmas surrounding our conditions and because admitting that you have OSDD or DID basically means "hey, I've been deeply traumatized before I had even two numbers to my age, nice to meet you" but some systems are Overt because it allowed them to scare their abusers away for instance)
Wow... I've never known how to describe the constant disconnection from myself and my memories, the feeling that love and relationships are out of reach, the feeling that connecting with people is an impossible process. It's comforting to know there are others out there and I've found a way to verbalise my experiences.
When I read "may god" I thought the comment was going to be about possesion or something like that and I was just getting ready to get into an internet fight... But you know what? Thank you. We need more respectful people in this shitty world.
I don't need to be blessed. I AM a blessing to this world. Sincerely, Lady Dragona Thanks, mate. It can be difficult to share a body with multiple Alters. -🍔🥓🍟Jared
I remember trying to explain to doctors many, many times about feeling like I was living in a movie, or the sudden realization that I am here, in my body, like watching a movie from the inside out. They all treated me like I was nuts and said I just had anxiety. FF 2 years later when I was diagnosed with PTSD and dissociative disorder. I cried when someone finally said she thought she knew what was going on and started asking me all questions no one asked me before and it was to the T what I was experiencing. Did some therapy with her and it helped immensely. Unfortunately she left that clinic and no other dr has been able to understand.
Ok does anyone else keep like judging themselves or keep thinking about every thought or action you do?? It’s overwhelming. Everything I do I re-think & think about if it was ok or right or good or bad and it is exhausting. I can’t stop thinking & judging my own actions and thoughts 😭.
I was diagnosed with DID (I had all 3 of these dissociative "disorders") in 2003. After many years of education and research (mostly about myself and my experiences) and intense trauma treatment, I have integrated. It's taken about 19 years to become fully whole. This is an informative and helpful video. However, it is my perspective that these dissociative experiences are understandable reactions to the trauma we experience and not a disorder at all. I recognize that people relate to this language, but there are other ways to see ourselves, if identifying as disordered and pathological does not feel good to you. Also, there are treatment modalities that are quite popular that focus solely on alter work, which only fragments people more. I realize that many people do not want to integrate and that is fine for them, but that is what saved my life.
Me too, for as long as I can remember I had that feeling. It comes and goes for me. And at times, in the middle of it, I suddenly get hit with "oh, I live and exists in this body, in this room, holding my phone/coffee/whatever with a human hand"... It truly feels odd. It's been better in the past 2 years though.
I'll say it was good, a great explaination. One thing I personally find an issue with... Treatment for DID. As someone with DID and have been pursuing a psychology degree, I find that integration is not necessary. I function quiet well without integration. Personally, I believe that once a person can define who they are individually, and learn to Accept Themselves, then learning to accept and understand each of their alters, Communication and connection within their system is the true goal of treatment. Integration, should not be pushed. Being DID, having full Communication and connection between all of my alters, understanding and acceptance has turned my life around completely. I Can be more than one person, I have already proved that because of having DID. Having the connection and Communication I have, also proves to me that integration is not necessarily needed. If it were to happen I accept it, however as I am co-conscious and have control now, being multiple isn't scary or a bad thing. Different, yes, but Everyone is different and if everyone can be different, I can be different in my own way. DID to me is not a disorder anymore. We have order amongst us, it is what I call a Survival Mechanism. To survive the traumas I have experienced, they Needed to become. We are humans, beings of intelligence and have the ability to create. DID is a direct link to Creation. The alters that where created in my system have proven to be very helpful now that we are all on the same page. Having the ability to see from another perspective due to my alters having their own beliefs, opinions and personalities, has proven to me to be an Awakening of sorts. I can now be logical and reasonable with my decisions. I am able to be discerning rather than judgemental. I can sympathize with others even when I do not agree with their actions or reactions. Understanding and Accepting my alters have given me a wisdom not many my age have. I myself plan to do my own research after earning my degree in psychology, to better understand other systems and help people with DID change what is currently unrealistic expectations of treatment, and give them a better direction in being whole and multiple at the same time. If I can do it, so can they.
Kat Hazard i always thought someone with a mental impairment wouldnt be able to get a job in any kind of phycology field. Maybe the company will want to do a background check and see the medications we take for our disorder. Ive always wanted to get a degree in that field but was always scared they would know about my medications and my mental disorder
Purplecharm nothing can really stop you, if you put your mind to it. I may have DID but it's not keeping me down. If you feel like you've got a great connection system going on, know your challenges and work from there. Nothing can really stop you.
@Ms-Functional Multiplicity I/we also have DID, and I was going to comment about integration not being necessary as well, but I couldn't say it any better than you did. I totally agree with you. We do not need to "merge" to live a normal, healthy life. In fact, in our case, we had therapists for nine years telling us that we had to merge, and we tried over and over, but were never able to do it. There were times that we thought we had done it, only to realize later that we were still separate. Then, when we finally met a therapist who understood DID, he told us that he doesn't believe it's possible for a DID system to merge permanently, but that we didn't have to, that the goal of therapy should be communication and cooperation (like you said in your post). Once he started teaching us how to do that, we made more progress in the first six months with him than in the previous nine years with five therapists combined! I think part of the reason for that, too, is that our previous therapists were so focused on the need to merge that they were, for the most part, not even trying too hard to work on our emotions about the trauma that caused us to be separate in the first place! Our new therapist placed a huge importance on working through our trauma, but emphasized that each part/identity in the system needed to work through their own trauma individually. This approach made a HUGE difference, and started to achieve real healing almost immediately. I will always be grateful to that therapist who taught us how to be okay with who we are, not try to be something that we are not and will never be. - Leyna of the Doug Vincent system
This honestly made me cry because I feel so hopeless and I am unable to get treatment. I will take your advice and have you as inspiration to keep going on.
I think I have this disorder but honestly I'm so confused and just know I have a dissocaive problem. I first got depersonalization/ derealization like late summer of 2017. And I admit I also suffer with depression, anxiety, and endure stress on a daily basis. But lately I do feel like maye yeah I could have did bc my mind feels like fragmented pieces now instead of just one full healthy conscious. I don't recall everything, but I don't necessarily seem to hear other voices or know of any personalities. Maybe if I do have d.i.d it's a beginning stage. I have no idea who I am and want to hurry up and recover from dissociation in general.
In Germany there is also "dissociative sensational disorder" as a forth category of dissociative disorder, refering specifically to people with psychosomatic symptoms like losing (partly or completely) the ability to smell, hear, see, taste and/or feel sensations
same i cant remember 2 years of my recent life (my mum got a headache paraylysed from the neck down when i was 9/10 im now 13) shes in a wheel chair going towards walking
Can you speak on dissociation in a person with borderline personality disorder? How it is similar/differs to others mentioned here (schizophrenia, bipolar)
dissociation doesn't really vary much between disorders like that when it is present in a mild form as a symptom. there is obviously variance between different patients' experiences to some degree but that variance is the same among all people who experience pathological dissociation. dissociation in someone with BPD is not going to be uniquely different to dissociation in bipolar disorders or anything else. however other symptoms can intersect which can cause some more seemingly different experiences but that is not due to the dissociation alone.
Thank you SO MUCH for making this video! I am 67 and finally admitting to myself that I have this disorder and getting treatment for it. This video breaks this disorder down in easy to understand parts but is at the same time is a full and serious description of it. Thanks also to the people who also have this disorder and shared their experience with it in the comments below.
I have the same thing and I’m head to tell u it’s possession you where wounded and never forgave someone or u tried to forget the memory the demons torment us I was bullied in 8 grade I’m in 11 people would record me getting bullied and I started not caring about life in 9 grade I started to fight and hold grudges act like I wasn’t the same kid who got bullied I developed bipolar Linnea then this and We just have to forgive everyone and God can then heal us
_Here's my experience of Diassociation:_ I started disassociating myself one time I tried removing a bad memory, I always play the bad memory for the whole day and didnt knew it was possible, so I went to sleep and said to myself that it will go away tomorrow, once in a while after every action I did, the memory plays in the back of my mind, it had been like that for just a couple of days so I thought it will go away eventually and hell no it did not, often times if I would recall the memory I feel annoyed and angry and sad and on the verge of crying, I was terrified that the memory will haunt me for years like those you see in movies(for some reason), It felt horrible and depressing. Its like my mind has taken control of my thoughts and it has the power to manipulate my brain and recall the memory even though i havent commanded myself to. I had lost myself, I was not in control of my thoughts and in classrooms it felt like Im just living in a simulation of some kind. It had been like that for a month! Luckily I found an article about my situation and thank god i snapped out of it. I dont want to experience it ever again ever. Im mentally healthy now and I hope you are in a healthy mental state too💓
OH GOD! NO! SOMETHING HAPPENED IN SCHOOL? I don't want private school.... I hate that thing where my brain keeps replaying the flashbacks over and over and OVER again....IT CAN'T HAPPEN AT SCHOOL! Everyone will get suspicious...someone will tell mom! I have to fight it...IS SHE JUST DOING THIS TO BREAK ME MORE? ;(
coming from someone who is questioning if they might have did due to having many symptoms (dissociation, trauma, not feeling real, forgetting, ect.) I don't want to self diagnose cuz I am not a doctor, so videos like this help me be more educated and help learn more before going to therapy to see if I can get diagnosed so really thank you so much for making this!
In my search for how EMDR therapy works, I was caught off guard by a simple statement. That statement was "If you have had or have dissociation disorder, it must be dealt with before continuing with EMDR treatment. Your video has helped me understand and relate it's content "in a generalized fashion" for me to better define and understand myself and needs. Thank you.
Hey! I'm a teen and struggling with derealization. The first time I experienced it was back in October 2019. I still remember the time it started because it was such a major change in my daily life. About 2 weeks ago it finally stopped and I felt so relieved, happy and full of energy. For only one day. It was disappointing, but now it's even worse. Five days ago it suddenly got more intense and it just won't go away. I tried explaining it to my parents and after a lot of failed attempts my mom said she would look into it and maybe take me to a psychologist. I really want to snap out of this dream like state.
@@badmesh5728 It was really bad for 2 weeks after I wrote this comment, but then it went back to normal, to the intensity I'm used to. It made me appreciate the fact that I could have it worse but I don't.
@@Florence_O.M My mother agreed to take me to therapy 2 months ago, and I've been better. I keep my mind busy and yes, sometimes the episodes become suffocating, but they never last more than a day at a time. It's really a lot better than it was when I commented here. Also, therapy has really helped me realize how happy I am with my life. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel accomplished. I haven't had an episode like that since then, I think this is how life should feel like. I'm omw to become a psychologist myself, actually:)
I have sooooooo many questions about D.I.D anyone with it want to chat, i’m coming from a place of fascination and respect and genuine awe at how clever and beautiful your brain is to do this
Finding this video allows me to realize that I may have Dissociative Amnesia, which would explain the 4 year gap in my memory surrounding my trauma. Glad to see a better explanation to this
When you go in your closet and wonder why you have clothes in there that are totally not something you would ever wear, you know then you have a problem.
Believe me no you don’t want that! I did that and it’s a lot of re-discovering everything. Yes in someways I am better than I was before but I’m not completely healed and it’s been a long while and a very shitty road. Just deal with the issues that you can as early as possible, resetting does nothing but started over and you have to go through the all that again while re-learning many skills
I've often struggled with feeling like an outsider in my own body just watching life play out. Even the feeling of moving fast and slow at the same time, it's hard to explain how time feels when I'm like this but I feel like this video gave me some answers.
I have always struggled with feelings of slight dissociation, even as a kid, constantly daydreaming. As I got older and into my late teens I started messing around with psychedelics such as marijuana, psilocybin magic mushrooms and eventually LSD. I became really disconnected from my sense of reality and the world after LSD. It definitely broadened my perception of EVERYTHING, and made me EXTREMELY self aware. It made me think way to much and I honestly regret it every day. But at one point I started to feel crazy in my head. I thought I lost myself and my mind. It was extremely scary and confusing. It caused me to be extremely depressed. I hit a point where I couldn’t live like this and I strived to be and get better. I got better with a lot of hard work and self education, reassurance and of course time. I occasionally still dissociate but its not as bad, I also continue to occasionally smoke marijuana for medical reasons but I keep it minimal. Id probably see a decline in my dissociation if I stopped using marijuana all together though... Anyways, Its really interesting and good knowing other people deal with this. I remember feeling so alone. Hang in there if you’re in a bad spot. It will get better.
I find this subject incredibly triggering, but I need to understand what is happening to me. Your voice and non-judgemental approach made it easier to handle. Thank you.
Oh...This helps a lot on how to explain how I feel. I usually feel disconnected for things, people, and myself. I have a really hard time remember my past, childhood and teens. And I feel like I have multiple people living inside me. I've had a rough start up, but the feelings started about 2yrs ago. Then my grandma dies, it worsens, and not even a year after her, my uncle died a week ago and I feel like it's at the worse. I got confused on who my parents were twice and I still can't recognize myself in a mirror. I thought it was just anxiety and depression, but I've felt like this for awhile now. I am so thankful I found this, it helps on how I feel and how I can explain to those who don't understand it.
I AM SOOOOOOOOOO THANKFUL for this video, I literally grew up, since I was like 8, understanding my problems as a "mind-body division" where my body was on auto polite and it felt like constant torture to just watch it do actions, both harmful and minor, that drove me to develop even worse internal issues. This was beautifully animated and thank you for clarifying the difference between how people with BPD and anxiety experience this differently from people with dissociative disorders. For clarification, I recently got classified as having a high possibility of having this especially when my own explanation of my experiences matched the standard understanding of it, by two separate counsellors. And I'm now gonna meet with a psychiatrist for an official diagnosis. I'm just so happy this video exists cause I often presumed it was Schizophrenia that was affecting me but the way those were explained never really matched as much as this.
This was good, although the goal of therapy for DID isn't always to make the alters become one person. In fact, a lot of people with DID are against the idea as it would be like dying/losing all you friends and they understandably don't always want that. Some do, but a lot don't.
@@zesu09 Some people with DID only want to get a better connection with their alters and help some of the ones that could be causing problems for them in order to live a happy life. If you want to know more benefits of not integrating alters you should look it up somewhere else, I'm definitely not a professional.
@@radioisactive7590 yeah all the videos ive seen of schizophrenic people have people being afraid of them or the person themselves being upset :( its rare to see happy people nowadays
Dit is meer herkenbaar voor mij. Ik had bijna de diagnose autisme gekregen. Twee zware trauma's opgelopen in mijn leven. Een als kind en een op de leeftijd van 50 jaar en niet kunnen herstellen hiervan. Thank you.
Trauma - Yeah, I once got so much trauma when I was 10 and I was drowning and screaming for help but can't since my mouth is in water. I did not have any swimming experience at all so I did not know what to do. Basically, the currents dragged me away to the point where I can't swim and water is filling my mouth... A man saw me and saved me.. and I went home on a bus, puking... But thank gosh, a couple saw me about to puke and gave me a bag.. I learned so much that Humanity can also be kind. But after that experience, I got thalassophobia. Very cool I guess.. Suicide Attempts - I once did an attempt of Suicide... (don't do this) but I grabbed a knife while crying and I wanted to end my FREAKING LIFE.. Good thing my grandmother saw me before I can do it... I might do it in the future again since I've been feeling abused lately.. or it might just be depression, who knows? Forgetting/Memory Loss - When my family orders me to get something, I tend to forget it. I'm pretty sure this is common so I don't really bother. I also fell down the stairs and hit my head and felt nothing which is strange, but I'm pretty sure that's nothing. Not Feeling Real - I tend to get ignored a lot.. LIKE... A LOT.. I would say something and no one would respond which is sad.. My 4 year old friendship was torn into pieces just from her treating me like I don't exist.. Not answering calls, Leaving me on read and lies to my friends that she "Doesn't know what to say" but she never told me that. ONLY TO HER FRIENDS, I spoke to her friends and that's how I found out. Or maybe just a coincidence, who knows? Dissociation - And as to the "Not Feeling like I exist" scenario, I also Dissociate which is weird.. When I was 6, I often get lost and I started crying since I don't know where my mom was.. A police guard found me and my brother crying at a part of a BIG BIG BIG MALL. Like, not you're regular day grocery store. Like, one of the biggest malls in Asia. SM Megamall in Philippines and thank god my aunt for me and my brother and was safe. Okay, and these ones happened to me a lot.. LIKE, LOT LOT. I forget what I have said which is also very normal I'm pretty sure.. right? In all seriousness, It's probably just anxiety. Who knows? And I also tend to hallucinate which is also normal for some. There was this one time where I thought my mom and brother was home and told my friend through text that they're back. I excitedly went downstairs to see no one but the dogs in the house.. No one was there.. and the car disappeared.. but weirdly though, my text wasn't a hallucination.. and I told my friend again that I must have been hallucinating and kept talking about other stuff. (And this happened when I was alone in the dark and was scared since I get praranoid being alone in the dark) These just might be depression, who knows?
We care about you. If you want to talk to someone or are experiencing suicidal thoughts, text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. For international resources, this list (www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html) is a good place to start.
Thank you for the video. I suffer from this disorder as well. It's painful to go through life and the shame caused by dissociation. THERE is treatment! I remember as a child/kid I was left alone for a long period of time. I was scared and couldn’t sleep.. the only way to cope was to dissociate and check out. No one to talk to, as my mother did not care about her children and their wellbeing. The more you talk about it you become more conscious. It’s a life long journey and very painful one but It’s manageable. I have good days and bad ones but I don’t give up. God bless you all.
I have overt dissociative identity disorder and this video was really great for me to show to friends and family to help explain it to them! Thanks for making this video!
This made me cry, depersonalisation/derealisation is hell. God, the other disorders sound absolutely torturing. Whoever experiences them, you are so strong and inspirational!
Cool video, it reminded me of some bad stuff though. For long years, I couldn’t remember my first years at primary school. At all. Now I just... don’t wanna think about it. Even now, I often experience depersonalization/derealization, but I guess that’s the result of my lonely, boring lifestyle...
I found that the lonely and boring feelings came from my adaptations to isolate and keep things similar so that I could have some sense of calm in between dissociation disrupting my daily life and the trauma memories coming back. Someone told me that trauma isn't the event it is the adaptation (the stuff you do to avoid remembering/survive/live). Made me mad at first but there is a lot of truth to it. Now I actually enjoy the boring things and it has helped me to appreciate the freewill I have to do boring stuff!
As someone who has (what was considered a severe form of) the chronic version of Depersonalization Disorder for about 13 years now, I assure you, it does get better/ easier. And in fact, it has its own set of advantages. What used to put 18-year-old me on the suicide watch floor - I now look at in many ways as a gift. You are loved, you are capable, and above all - you WILL survive this... and even learn to thrive.
Thank you so much for this! I think that Dissociative Disorders (DID especially) have been stereotyped a lot in today's world, and this really helped with my overall understanding of Dissociative Disorders. Thank you for your helpful, well-versed explanations on the subject!
Continuous dissociative amnesia fits well with me I find it difficult taking in information and holding it ...I have to relearn it's frustrating. I have problems with free recall. I forget what I've just done .... everything is like slight of hand it's there one minute gone the next. I think dissociation/emotional numbing make it difficult to lay down new information as we associate emotional experience with our ability to process and store information...hence the term you have to have a feel for learning something knew. Dissociation acts like a filter to the world ...blocks experience...
setitthen brother I have this to we can be healed God just wants us to forget we live like shit man everyday I wake up like what u said always have to keep learning no emotions feeling depressed This is because of i forgiveness from a tramtic event I’m trying to have someone minister my soul wounds search it up u will see what I mean
I have 3 personalities: the one that drives the vehicle that is my body & has to face the "real" world, one that takes/took abuse, & a nameless dog that would be your best friend if you could get close enough for her to trust you. I've been living as more than one person since I was a teen & hiding them is difficult. It's like trying to keep a classroom in my head full of unruly kids quite.
Kia ora, as someone who does suffer from dissociative amnesia and derealization/depersonalization disorder I'd just like to say you did an amazing job explaining and portraying this!! Keep up the amazing mahi ♥️.
This is a great video with a wonderfully brief, accurate, and understandable explanation. It's been desperately needed to demystify and destigmatize this condition.
Not a person with DID, but speaking on behalf of friends and things I’ve heard from a therapist on RUclips. Many systems (collective of alters in DID) don’t want integration, they can function much like a family and don’t want to lose that
We've had DID/OSDD since our childhood, understanding the behaviour and the mechanisms of this disorder has enlightened our mind making it way easier to cope with the symptoms described. Nowadays we are all in Therapy on a long journey to communicate better, enhancing our ability to co-operate in the Outside world. - Gregorio
Sometimes when I stand up, walk, and do other things I feel like I’m in a dream. Its very weird but also calming. I don’t know how to say this but it is a really weird feeling. I had several panic attacks when i was 4-8. I also have a trauma from my childhood when I was four.
I've had this once when I had a drug addiction to heroin and methamphetamine. When I was up for 3 days, the opioid use made me completely black out. I was walking, not remembering who I was, where I lived, where I was born, what my race, age, and name was. I was still able to speak coherently. It was in the middle of downtown Atlanta. I remember walking and these "nice" gentleman gave me a jacket. I foolishly gave them my wallet to take a look at for some strange reason. I ended up losing all my credit and debit cards and got my phone stolen when I started regaining my memory. Fortunately(or unfortunately) all my cards were maxed out and couldn't be used. That past is behind me now, but I still have to fight it from time to time.
today my best friend opened up to me about some feelings that really bother her all the time, and she's really struggling. I thought it was some sort of dissociative disorder, and now I'm sure. I'm crying right now. I'm so thankful for this video. I'll do my best.
I'm not the type of guy to self diagnose but I display A LOT of these symptoms especially while growing up, I never felt like I had a niche and couldn't fit in anywhere and still to this day I am not sure who I am and what my place is in this world
today i simply saw a comment that said wake up, i had a mini panic attack and the world felt fake. then i was ok face time with my friend and i kept spacing out, and i literally ended up drawing something but don’t remember drawing it. i also was insanely anxious the entire day. i could just be making things up but idk. there are also times where i kinda just forget who i am or will be like “wtf that’s me-“ when looking in the mirror. idk i’m probably making it up in my head
I did this so much when I was younger, I used to stare at people because it wasn't real and I was watching it on television. It got less as I got older and medicated. Thanks for the dissociative fugue, I experienced this and didn't know what it was
For everyone who’s confused- hello! My name’s Primrose! I’m the primary protector of the Peony System! We have DID and we’re not demons. We actually do have one angel alter, a couple fairies, and one- bat- thing? But she’s five years old and is a trauma holder, and has bat wings because she related to a vampire in a children’s book. None of us have gone through “satanic / occult” abuse. It’s actually the opposite. We were abused by students and teachers of a Christian school, from grade 3, to grade 8, when we graduated. We are currently all knowledgeable, practicing Christians except for two of us that experienced the worst of the abuse and therefore want nothing to do with the doctrines that we’re forced on us. We are currently struggling to go to school because our host (the one who identifies with the body and birth name) has extreme anxiety, and it effects all of us. We are not demons. Our disorder was formed from abuse by CHRISTIANS. And we’re not even that severe of a case. Oh and also, DID isn’t even USUALLY caused by ritual/satanic/occult abuse. It’s usually caused by the families of young children. The stats mirror those of the child abuse stats. The End (our Instagram is the_peony_system if you have any questions)
I remember when I was younger, I had a strange feeling a few times where I had control over myself but in a very weird way. I felt like I was watching a movie of myself, even though all the things I did, I did mean it. If I remember correctly, I think it usually happened when I started to look at computer screen and when I was tired, so mostly in the evening. I remember I used to describe it as "being drunk", even though I did not drink any alcohol. I also remember this happening to my sister because she described it similarly. This might as well have happened when a lot of people were talking around me. Nowdays it pretty much never happens, although I think the last time It did, It was at a party (Loud music, people talking loudly around me, dark, dynamic lights). Could this be a sign of the first type of disorder mentioned in this video or is it just a normal thing?
i think its called "stare of the goat" or smth, usually happens when ,for me example, playing a game in my phone or laptop when im too tired and it feels like i cant move any parts of myself and feels like im just watching smth
Thank you so much for bringing me this much clarity about this mental health disorder! It really helped me better understand what my sister was going through, even though she's now unfortunately deceased. What you described about DID sounded a lot like what she had been going through for years, and it really put a rift in our relationship together as siblings because she had hurt me badly one summer and had no recollection of even hurting me, saying someone else (one of her alters) was in her body at the time it happened. Our abusive mother never bothered to provide my late sister with the proper mental healthcare she really needed, and both my sister and I were badly neglected and abused in our adolescent years. Even though I myself realized and decided I needed to remove myself from that abusive environment, my sister did not have that same clarity as I did, and sadly lost her life as a result. I did get my closure only recently, but to bring me back to my point, once again, thank you so much for your elucidations!
Idk if it's just me but I daydream 24/7 literally.i don't feel like real life is real anymore.ive created my own life in my head and I'm stuck in it.its an addiction i can't stop it and I'm emotionally attached to those daydreams, I say my thoughts out loud and sometimes I even act out my daydreams, I even cry if something sad is Happening, it's ruining my life , I don't know if it has anything to do with dissociative disorder but I literally feel so disconnected from reality,I'm always in my head and I've had it since I Was 7. Anyone else:/ ?
I’m 30 and just being diagnosed in the last 2 months I’m watching this to try and better my self and how I feel and act I have severe DID one of my personality is very aggressive and angry and frankly quiet scary Iv been using a antipsychotic medication and receiving therapy and I can promise anyone going through a hard time understanding there alter moods and egos there’s light at the end 🥰 as much as we might not always feel it we are deeply loved and needed in this worlds suicid doesn’t cure the pain it just moves it to someone ells I speak first hand of the attempts and just that alone has broke so many family members, please seek help no matter how silly you THINK you might sound mental health Is scary but your loved 🥰
You have no idea how happy I am to find out that there are other people like me, struggling with the same stuff. I thought I was going insane, and that noone else understood me. Thank you so much for this video, it helped me a lot.
I have had this all my life. My caregivers were neglectful and abusive. I created girls to deal with Mom, but they got tired of her too. So ponytail came and she scared mom and kept her away. Then after I was R**ED by my Grandaddy, Nieci came. She was the watchdog, because White Horses can’t do everything. Nieci had tantrums in her room and sometimes whispered bad words. Ponytail had to leave when I went to nursery school. More protectors came and emboldened me to run away. I tried to file a police report, but they said I had to wait until next year when I was 16. I had SI and went to a teen shelter. We loved school and even studied at Dartmouth for 5 trimesters. I had what was called a nervous breakdown. I came home, finished college on my own. Found a career I loved that paid well, and the people stepped back. I didn’t need them as much, but when people saw them, they’d freak out. Still, life was fulfilling. Relationships sucked, but l had two beautiful children. I married my third husband, who caused a severe breakdown, and I went to a PHP. It was great, but I didn’t want to tell anyone about my people, they might really lock me up. I go home, but after 3 months, I went inpatient, but they knew they couldn’t help me. They referred me to Taylor Wellness Center, because I’d been diagnosed with MDD, Anxiety and complex PTSD. I started in September’23. Two days ago, my therapist diagnosed me with DID. She said she saw it the first day. I was SO relieved to drop that heavy secret, only to find out other people had inside people too! So I finally feel free to, and I have been sitting with them and I’m happy they’re no longer a secret. Even my daughter said, I knew it. Now I can really relax and be Me(s). By the way, i’m 59. I have a name for it, it validates the hell I went through, and is no longer a heavy secret. My youngest me is a baby, and I know her history now. I’m learning who they are and what they want for me. It’s been SOME journey. I’m just I know what I’m dealing with. Thanks for reading.
As someone with ptsd, every thing feels fake and im so emotionally numb i don’t know what to do.. i cant live like this. I want to feel real and not like there is an invisible wall in my mind. Everyday molds into one and I just don’t know what to do.. thank you for this video
Ive been really struggling with derealization and amnesia lately. It's definitely because I reached out to my mother for the first time in four years. I spend whole days out of myself and I'm forgetting so much. I'm so angry because I spent so long drudging everything up and dealing with all the trauma, now it's trying to pull me back in and all I can do is watch myself fall.
this isnt a reference or joke, sometimes during the day i go on “auto pilot” in which i feel very detached and cold to people and am often asked if im okay. i didn’t know this feeling had a name and its almost comforting to know im not alone
Seibaa I sort of did the same. When I watched it and did some research, I realised I might have depersonalisation disorder and then got diagnosed with it. Okay, that was a little depressing, but I really love Night in the Woods.
Miss Mystic Messenger hi I think I have deprsonalization / derealisation , when I feel anxious, I dissociate. But mine doesn’t seem to be as severe as the video says. Idk I’m really confused
Thank you so much. This will turn my life around, being a kid who doesn't really understand how to explain my disorder, I can actually watch this video and show it to a psychiatrist. I think I have dissociative amnesia, plus depersonalization disorder. :)
So if I'm being completely honest, recently, I have been thinking that I might have a dissociative disorder (Or Personality disorder) I really relate to being detached from my body. I've felt it for years in my life and only really noticed now having extremely hard times recalling doing or saying anything for days to weeks even. I've been trying to do my research, and watching this video helps me understand the differences. Ive talked to my mom about it and she thinks I might have 1 of these disorders also due to my really bad mood swings (for reference I do have depression and anxiety but have noticed whats more different from each other and other things like this) anyway idk if anyone will see this but yey.
This video literally made me cry. I thought I was crazy because I have often felt like I was an outsider who was watching my life on a video. I would also sit in front of the mirror and not recognize the person in the mirror was me.
who you telling i would always tell my sister it feels like my eyes are in the back of my head cuz i would always see this faded gray circle around everything i see it feels very weird and i hate it i would always say that the world feels fake and i feel numb i dont know if i should get hellp or not tho i think i have it cuz im alone or somethign
Sometimes I don’t recognize my partner in a weird way . It’s not 100% for me but it’s weird
wait everyone doesn't have the mirror thing? omfg wait i have that so often
Orleans BeGole it’s so weird cause I don’t believe that it’s me🤣🤣🤣
Orleans BeGole hahaha you’re like who tf is that .... oh that’s me, I think. Lmao
This is one of those things where you go "Oh, that's what that feeling is."
Matt Bonneville damn I felt that lol
I relate to this
It's great to understand what you feel instead of fearing it😅
Yes very much yes
What feeling?
Does anyone else suffer from depersonalization? I can't maintain any relationships with others because I don't feel authentic or connected to my own self. I push anyone and everyone away. Can anyone relate?
Omg! Madison I feel that way too! Depersonalization and anti relationships! I have given up in trying to build relationships, I just enjoy the moments now!
Depersonalization is the horror now for me cause I can’t control who I become around different people!
Some think I am fake, other think I am crazy!
100% I’ve cut off basically all of my friends and am very guarded around my family
@@elizabethcook2867 very sorry dear! Just try to not be so anti social, try to open up to someone, I cut of family at some point but thank God they are my closest persons now
Me too, at first when I didn't know I literally called it a blessing because I had this way of thinking where I could separate me and the body basically and I would like the trans like feeling of disociating but as time went it got so bad I started to dissociate in front of people and I couldn't enjoy conversation or make any friends
I feel you !!
I suffer from depersonalization/derealization disorder, and I can tell you this.
it sucks.
I sometimes go through days to weeks on end without feeling anything, just staring into space, and having to have EVERYONE talk super slowly so I can hear and understand them.
when I snap out of my moments, I feel it all at once, and I might cry for hours on end
Please help me. Im really struggling.
@@AJBramwell u good?
Something similar happened to me too! But fortunately it only lasted overnight. For me tho everything felt so fast and i was hallucinating left and right. At that time i thought it had something to do with entities and spirituality and stuff and i was so scared (my kid brain was just so so so stressed.) but i’m so thankful that i finally found a reason for it 😭😭😭
@@sleepycowboy.o hey man, i’m 21 and going thru a similar thing, totally feel u on how isolating and honestly dehumanizing this experience is, im tryna figure this shit out myself as well but ig shit that’s helped me at times is going out in nature and running, haven’t found much luck outside of that though…regardless i hope ur doing well. you’ll get thru this. i believe in u!
@@AJBramwell talk to ur doctor?
Sometimes I have moments where I feel like I’m out of my body and nothing is real. I just keep thinking about how I got here and what we’re doing in these bodies. How did I even get in this body? It feels extremely weird but calming. It’s like I’m looking at myself from above?? It confuses me because I physically feel out of my body.
It tends to happen to me more when I’m alone or in crowded places, especially when I’m sleepy. I just feel numb and tired.
Karma same
Sometimes I wonder if this is of spiritual phenomenon
Or just pure dissociation
That's depersonalisation
Same.
I thought, it only happens to me.
Same. I often look at people around me and feel like I’m not even there, just witnessing life happen around me
As someone with a dissociative disorder that has made my life anywhere from obnoxious to funny to heartbreaking, thank you for the representation! These videos deserve waaaaaay more recognition.
Tessa Maynard Tessa, God bless You sweetheart. I am just now realizing I have DID. Known about it for about 6 months. Even though my mom claims its only been 3 months. My sense of time is all messed up. Even after 10 years of therapy, my therapists never even knew. Nor did I. If you'd like a friend to chat with about this, a buddy to talk to, please respond and I'll share my email address.
you suck
How it feels like
@@kent6117 who are you trying to insult lol
@S Robin You're such a champ - I hope you're doing better now. I don't have DID, but I do have a dissociative disorder unfortunately. I have not remembered anything yet, I'm still working on it. Sending hugs your way
I’m 17, turning 18 next month, and I’m currently going through a possible D.I.D. diagnosis. It starts to explain a lot, especially when it comes to the fact I remember almost nothing about my whole middle school life as well as sophomore year of high school. I know usually it’s boring but I remember practically nothing. Through the rest of my high school life and after my graduation there have been moments where the urge to be someone else became strong and I’d often ‘pass out’ and ‘wake up’ without remembering anything or in somewhere different. I often get told how I act differently sometimes and bring up something that I don’t remember doing.
I feel like I’m lying to everyone because sometimes I know and sometimes I don’t, even though I’m often not around anyone. My therapist is really kind and understanding, and I consider myself lucky to have a good therapist. He insists that it’s ok to feel bad but that he knows I’m not trying to fake it. That makes me feel more comfortable
[EDIT: We tried but I’m actually moving away from a DID diagnosis, although it explained a lot it didn’t quite fit me! It possible that this urge for differing personalities actually stems a lot from not just my autism, but a possible mood disorder! While it’s still obvious that I suffer a lot from dissociative issues, it’s not DID! However that time I spent undergoing the process of that diagnosis taught me a lot, and I hope to find the right diagnosis for me!)
Does your other self or selves know about it?
@@woozyz2769 My alters are aware and have a lot of the memories that I don’t, co-consciousness isn’t easy for me but thankfully we have lots of videos.
there was a time in my life where i brought up getting a possible OSDD diagnosis with my therapist and when i described how i was feeling she told me that everyone feels that way and sort of brushed me off. in a way it sort of hurt me - not because i didn’t get what i wanted, but i felt that my feelings about myself were invalid/untrue. i’m not sure what to do now, is there any advice you would give?
@@ghosty6618ask your therapist what field(s) they specialize in, if she doesn’t mention dissociative disorders/trauma healing, i encourage you guys to find a new one that will help with what you all are dealing with..
im so sorry you guys had to go through with having your feelings dismissed.
i also suggest looking into the r/OSDD subreddit. it has helped us a lot for the past month.
Good you share with the pubilc your knowledge. We are very interested about you. Tell us more about your experience with the mental and try to elaborate more about you. In this way we can make a profile user persona, in online awarness and comments. We are not sure that we understand you , tell us more.
For anyone wondering, in my experience dissociation feels like you’re in a movie theatre and what you’re watching is your field of vision. You know what’s happening but you feel safe in this “theatre” to me at least.
To me it's similar, but I also feel like a limbless floating blob.
For me it's like I'm on a spaceship and my earthly being is just an Avatar which i'm putting through some tests.
hmm I was rlly fcked up in hard dissociation for years atleast I felt always like I have some safety blanket or god protects me.
@@LiSa-fc5sp please help me. I'm struggling.
Can you please help me? I am truly struggling.
I’ve been trying to figure myself out for 20+ years. Never knew how to explain it. Never felt right telling anyone. Never thought that all the puzzle pieces were to the same picture. When I finally stumbled upon this video, I never became so still, literally taking my breath away, time stopping, mind focused, but most of all, eyes watering as tears ran down my face. This video isn’t just a great collaboration of information for people to cope with or students to learn from. This video gave me all the answers I’ve been searching for my entire life, and even better, knowing what it all is means I can now finally find ways to help myself instead of losing my mind in the abyss. Thank you so much for making this video, so so much ❤️❤️❤️
MrVolpe333 you are abundantly and unconditionally loved by God. Be blessed.
Your post made me tear up! I seriously can relate to this! Its the greatest relief to be able to put a name to my condition. I have kept this private. It's a very difficult experience to explain, and I'm not really a big talker/complainer.
tara Toes I starting to feel that these types of disorders are a bit more common than they know. It seems that people that can relate to this often feel confused about what they are experiencing through many years and never seek help or talk to anyone about it. I finally opened up to one of my best friends about it and I never cried so much in my life. It was just as relieving as if was terrifying to explain it all out for the first time. I’m 30 now and I was 29 when I finally came out with it, I feel I have done more harm by not expressing it and seeking help sooner. I think it’s important to talk to people that can relate. When I was diagnosed with a rare cancer syndrome, it helped to talk to others that had it as well. If you feel comfortable you can message me, it’s never easy talking to people that can’t fully understand what it all means. There is sense of anxiety that they might feel disbelief and distrust during and after, so let me know if you need to talk ☺️
You are not alone. I too have spent decades hiding, remaining silent afraid of speaking & being labelled a freak. Friends never stayed very long & life felt like wading through a field of treacle. Suicide ideation many times and a failed attempt. Now however, I have a way of communicating it & have made an appointment for a Psych Assessment- unbelievable! Good Luck - I hope you find a management strategy and eventually peace.
@Ed I was 30 when I made this post and now I’m currently 32. I noticed issues when I was between 10-11 and have actually just been officially diagnosed with DID yesterday. It is impactful emotionally but also knowing is half the battle, and now can work toward working with it rather than fear it. I hope the best for all who has replied to this post as well, and appreciate the heartfelt comments.
I always thought I was just tired lmao
Amanda L I get it worse when I am tired
You probably just are
So true
jimmy Wimmy i wish it was that but it’s happened to me for years despite regular 8+ hr sleeping schedule. i’m thinking it’s the trauma from child abuse 🙈
Grace McCloskey same!! it just like adds to it or smth
1. The “Covert” DID is actually OSDD. People with DID can be covert while having alters, in fact most are.
2. Switches to other alters can last for days, months or years.
3. Integration is not the only therapy. Communication is also a type of therapy.
Do you know if "Covert" can develope into "Overt", or are they completely different in that sense?
Preach
@@arya-rose8576 OSDD (otherly specified dissociative disorder) is what is called "Covert" in this video. It's actually a minor form of D.I.D. where there are several alters but no amnesia between them (in OSDD-1b) or when the fragments of personality are not as developed, in the case of OSDD-1a.
A OSDD and a DID diagnosis are two different diagnosis and you can't go from one to the other.
Now, what Covert and Overt really means, is how much you hide your disorder. In Covert system, people in your surrounding tends not to know that you have a disorder because alters are really good at impersonating one an-other. In Overt systems, people will know that we switch because it's much more obvious, most of the time because we feel comfortable enough to be ourselves instead of pretending. In this sense, you can totally go from Covert to Overt (note that most of the systems out there are Covert due to the stigmas surrounding our conditions and because admitting that you have OSDD or DID basically means "hey, I've been deeply traumatized before I had even two numbers to my age, nice to meet you" but some systems are Overt because it allowed them to scare their abusers away for instance)
@@clairechaxel8070 thank you for clearing that up for me :)
@@clairechaxel8070 thank you for the exposure! I understand better now...
Wow... I've never known how to describe the constant disconnection from myself and my memories, the feeling that love and relationships are out of reach, the feeling that connecting with people is an impossible process. It's comforting to know there are others out there and I've found a way to verbalise my experiences.
How are you now aNd how long have you felt this way
may 🧚♀️God bless the soul who is suffering and so you find your home soon, may you find your happiness you've been seeking finds you sooner
thank u. we've been trying really hard to get healthy & it's starting to pay off. thanks for the nice message kind stranger
When I read "may god" I thought the comment was going to be about possesion or something like that and I was just getting ready to get into an internet fight... But you know what? Thank you. We need more respectful people in this shitty world.
thank you.
I don't need to be blessed. I AM a blessing to this world.
Sincerely, Lady Dragona
Thanks, mate. It can be difficult to share a body with multiple Alters.
-🍔🥓🍟Jared
Yea except a belief in theism accents DID, making it worse.
I remember trying to explain to doctors many, many times about feeling like I was living in a movie, or the sudden realization that I am here, in my body, like watching a movie from the inside out. They all treated me like I was nuts and said I just had anxiety. FF 2 years later when I was diagnosed with PTSD and dissociative disorder. I cried when someone finally said she thought she knew what was going on and started asking me all questions no one asked me before and it was to the T what I was experiencing. Did some therapy with her and it helped immensely. Unfortunately she left that clinic and no other dr has been able to understand.
Ok does anyone else keep like judging themselves or keep thinking about every thought or action you do?? It’s overwhelming. Everything I do I re-think & think about if it was ok or right or good or bad and it is exhausting. I can’t stop thinking & judging my own actions and thoughts 😭.
......Same:(
same😭😭
yeah, or my mom judges my own actions and thoughts and makes me second guess myself. THANKS MOM!
I think that’s anxiety, or Ocd.
YES! I can relate. I rethink, overanalyze, recreate my world daily. Its exhausting. You may have BPD and OCD( repetitive, intrusive thoughts)
I was diagnosed with DID (I had all 3 of these dissociative "disorders") in 2003. After many years of education and research (mostly about myself and my experiences) and intense trauma treatment, I have integrated. It's taken about 19 years to become fully whole. This is an informative and helpful video. However, it is my perspective that these dissociative experiences are understandable reactions to the trauma we experience and not a disorder at all.
I recognize that people relate to this language, but there are other ways to see ourselves, if identifying as disordered and pathological does not feel good to you. Also, there are treatment modalities that are quite popular that focus solely on alter work, which only fragments people more. I realize that many people do not want to integrate and that is fine for them, but that is what saved my life.
How do I do this?! I’ve been living fragmented and I’m so foggy in the mind!
What helped you with that?
I constantly feel like I'm not actually where I am.
I feel like I'm watching myself and my body just moves by itself like a robot... i don't reslly know.
Me too, for as long as I can remember I had that feeling. It comes and goes for me. And at times, in the middle of it, I suddenly get hit with "oh, I live and exists in this body, in this room, holding my phone/coffee/whatever with a human hand"... It truly feels odd. It's been better in the past 2 years though.
Kira Nayuri how do you cope with it is scary:(
Kira Nayuri maybe go to a doctor
i told my mom that and she told me i dont have dissociation i just have anxiety
I'll say it was good, a great explaination. One thing I personally find an issue with... Treatment for DID. As someone with DID and have been pursuing a psychology degree, I find that integration is not necessary. I function quiet well without integration. Personally, I believe that once a person can define who they are individually, and learn to Accept Themselves, then learning to accept and understand each of their alters, Communication and connection within their system is the true goal of treatment. Integration, should not be pushed. Being DID, having full Communication and connection between all of my alters, understanding and acceptance has turned my life around completely. I Can be more than one person, I have already proved that because of having DID. Having the connection and Communication I have, also proves to me that integration is not necessarily needed. If it were to happen I accept it, however as I am co-conscious and have control now, being multiple isn't scary or a bad thing. Different, yes, but Everyone is different and if everyone can be different, I can be different in my own way. DID to me is not a disorder anymore. We have order amongst us, it is what I call a Survival Mechanism. To survive the traumas I have experienced, they Needed to become. We are humans, beings of intelligence and have the ability to create. DID is a direct link to Creation. The alters that where created in my system have proven to be very helpful now that we are all on the same page. Having the ability to see from another perspective due to my alters having their own beliefs, opinions and personalities, has proven to me to be an Awakening of sorts. I can now be logical and reasonable with my decisions. I am able to be discerning rather than judgemental. I can sympathize with others even when I do not agree with their actions or reactions. Understanding and Accepting my alters have given me a wisdom not many my age have. I myself plan to do my own research after earning my degree in psychology, to better understand other systems and help people with DID change what is currently unrealistic expectations of treatment, and give them a better direction in being whole and multiple at the same time. If I can do it, so can they.
Kat Hazard i always thought someone with a mental impairment wouldnt be able to get a job in any kind of phycology field. Maybe the company will want to do a background check and see the medications we take for our disorder. Ive always wanted to get a degree in that field but was always scared they would know about my medications and my mental disorder
Purplecharm nothing can really stop you, if you put your mind to it. I may have DID but it's not keeping me down. If you feel like you've got a great connection system going on, know your challenges and work from there. Nothing can really stop you.
@Ms-Functional Multiplicity I/we also have DID, and I was going to comment about integration not being necessary as well, but I couldn't say it any better than you did. I totally agree with you. We do not need to "merge" to live a normal, healthy life. In fact, in our case, we had therapists for nine years telling us that we had to merge, and we tried over and over, but were never able to do it. There were times that we thought we had done it, only to realize later that we were still separate. Then, when we finally met a therapist who understood DID, he told us that he doesn't believe it's possible for a DID system to merge permanently, but that we didn't have to, that the goal of therapy should be communication and cooperation (like you said in your post). Once he started teaching us how to do that, we made more progress in the first six months with him than in the previous nine years with five therapists combined! I think part of the reason for that, too, is that our previous therapists were so focused on the need to merge that they were, for the most part, not even trying too hard to work on our emotions about the trauma that caused us to be separate in the first place! Our new therapist placed a huge importance on working through our trauma, but emphasized that each part/identity in the system needed to work through their own trauma individually. This approach made a HUGE difference, and started to achieve real healing almost immediately. I will always be grateful to that therapist who taught us how to be okay with who we are, not try to be something that we are not and will never be. - Leyna of the Doug Vincent system
This honestly made me cry because I feel so hopeless and I am unable to get treatment. I will take your advice and have you as inspiration to keep going on.
I think I have this disorder but honestly I'm so confused and just know I have a dissocaive problem.
I first got depersonalization/ derealization like late summer of 2017.
And I admit I also suffer with depression, anxiety, and endure stress on a daily basis. But lately I do feel like maye yeah I could have did bc my mind feels like fragmented pieces now instead of just one full healthy conscious. I don't recall everything, but I don't necessarily seem to hear other voices or know of any personalities. Maybe if I do have d.i.d it's a beginning stage. I have no idea who I am and want to hurry up and recover from dissociation in general.
In Germany there is also "dissociative sensational disorder" as a forth category of dissociative disorder, refering specifically to people with psychosomatic symptoms like losing (partly or completely) the ability to smell, hear, see, taste and/or feel sensations
Just got diagnosed with this, and I had no clue what it was. When I watched this video, it described everything I’ve been feeling for years. 😭
How you got diagnosed?
same i cant remember 2 years of my recent life (my mum got a headache paraylysed from the neck down when i was 9/10 im now 13) shes in a wheel chair going towards walking
Can you speak on dissociation in a person with borderline personality disorder? How it is similar/differs to others mentioned here (schizophrenia, bipolar)
they should just do a video on dissocation
dissociation doesn't really vary much between disorders like that when it is present in a mild form as a symptom. there is obviously variance between different patients' experiences to some degree but that variance is the same among all people who experience pathological dissociation. dissociation in someone with BPD is not going to be uniquely different to dissociation in bipolar disorders or anything else. however other symptoms can intersect which can cause some more seemingly different experiences but that is not due to the dissociation alone.
I experience both of these issues and would be willing to answer questions for you :)
I would like to know how it presents in BPD, along with these other symptoms.
I just wonder what it's like for you when you dissociate. Can you explain any nuance in having it with BPD?
Thank you SO MUCH for making this video! I am 67 and finally admitting to myself that I have this disorder and getting treatment for it. This video breaks this disorder down in easy to understand parts but is at the same time is a full and serious description of it. Thanks also to the people who also have this disorder and shared their experience with it in the comments below.
ekatin I hope treatment is going well! These disorders are very tough but we're stronger! Stay safe and get better soon!
I have the same thing and I’m head to tell u it’s possession you where wounded and never forgave someone or u tried to forget the memory the demons torment us I was bullied in 8 grade I’m in 11 people would record me getting bullied and I started not caring about life in 9 grade I started to fight and hold grudges act like I wasn’t the same kid who got bullied I developed bipolar Linnea then this and We just have to forgive everyone and God can then heal us
please help me. Im struggling.
@@AJBramwell Are you ok friend
_Here's my experience of Diassociation:_
I started disassociating myself one time I tried removing a bad memory, I always play the bad memory for the whole day and didnt knew it was possible, so I went to sleep and said to myself that it will go away tomorrow, once in a while after every action I did, the memory plays in the back of my mind, it had been like that for just a couple of days so I thought it will go away eventually and hell no it did not, often times if I would recall the memory I feel annoyed and angry and sad and on the verge of crying, I was terrified that the memory will haunt me for years like those you see in movies(for some reason), It felt horrible and depressing. Its like my mind has taken control of my thoughts and it has the power to manipulate my brain and recall the memory even though i havent commanded myself to. I had lost myself, I was not in control of my thoughts and in classrooms it felt like Im just living in a simulation of some kind. It had been like that for a month!
Luckily I found an article about my situation and thank god i snapped out of it. I dont want to experience it ever again ever. Im mentally healthy now and I hope you are in a healthy mental state too💓
can you send me the article that you read
I'm really glad to hear that you're okay after what u went through in that month 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
I m losing control over my thoughts🥺🥺my mind is becoming crazy😣😣😣
@@Sunshine-ku4op mine toooo ;( I can't take it anymore ;( When is it over????
OH GOD! NO! SOMETHING HAPPENED IN SCHOOL? I don't want private school....
I hate that thing where my brain keeps replaying the flashbacks over and over and OVER again....IT CAN'T HAPPEN AT SCHOOL! Everyone will get suspicious...someone will tell mom! I have to fight it...IS SHE JUST DOING THIS TO BREAK ME MORE? ;(
coming from someone who is questioning if they might have did due to having many symptoms (dissociation, trauma, not feeling real, forgetting, ect.) I don't want to self diagnose cuz I am not a doctor, so videos like this help me be more educated and help learn more before going to therapy to see if I can get diagnosed so really thank you so much for making this!
Our pleasure to help and great job on keeping yourself well-informed. 😊
In my search for how EMDR therapy works, I was caught off guard by a simple statement. That statement was "If you have had or have dissociation disorder, it must be dealt with before continuing with EMDR treatment. Your video has helped me understand and relate it's content "in a generalized fashion" for me to better define and understand myself and needs. Thank you.
Dude I feel disconnected all the time lmao
Ok tumblr
Same lol
Oml same
saaaameee
Snufkin.
Hey! I'm a teen and struggling with derealization. The first time I experienced it was back in October 2019. I still remember the time it started because it was such a major change in my daily life. About 2 weeks ago it finally stopped and I felt so relieved, happy and full of energy. For only one day. It was disappointing, but now it's even worse. Five days ago it suddenly got more intense and it just won't go away. I tried explaining it to my parents and after a lot of failed attempts my mom said she would look into it and maybe take me to a psychologist. I really want to snap out of this dream like state.
are you alright now?
@@badmesh5728 It was really bad for 2 weeks after I wrote this comment, but then it went back to normal, to the intensity I'm used to. It made me appreciate the fact that I could have it worse but I don't.
And now?
@@Florence_O.M My mother agreed to take me to therapy 2 months ago, and I've been better. I keep my mind busy and yes, sometimes the episodes become suffocating, but they never last more than a day at a time. It's really a lot better than it was when I commented here. Also, therapy has really helped me realize how happy I am with my life. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel accomplished. I haven't had an episode like that since then, I think this is how life should feel like. I'm omw to become a psychologist myself, actually:)
@@Eldfell wow! Truly happy for you! Congratulations 🎉
I have sooooooo many questions about D.I.D anyone with it want to chat, i’m coming from a place of fascination and respect and genuine awe at how clever and beautiful your brain is to do this
Finding this video allows me to realize that I may have Dissociative Amnesia, which would explain the 4 year gap in my memory surrounding my trauma. Glad to see a better explanation to this
Feels like one long daydream I feel like I been daydreaming my whole life
YEAH!
Me too
Exactly
it’s all adding up now 🤒 the human brain really needs to chill
Lexi rogers shes highkey doing ttoooo much, this is past her paygrade
@@mariahroberson8764 For real, like damn this video just proved this all to me for the first time and I am shook.
YEAH! I know right? ;(
I new a italian friend who had D.I.D. He sadly passed by his hand, but his work and illustrations about music, will live on.
lovely video. you guys are changing the way medical students learn. keep it up. keep it free. Thanks loads
When you go in your closet and wonder why you have clothes in there that are totally not something you would ever wear, you know then you have a problem.
Lady Grace yeah.. I don’t think so.
All the time but it's kinda normal for me cuz I have DID
@@Ghostinaboat B
omg i went on a shopping spree for no reason then i look at myself and say you dont go anywhere what are youdoing
@@naveenshah4192 ........what
I just need a Hard reset on my life 😫
R.O.T.C SEEM I know the feeling
Believe me no you don’t want that! I did that and it’s a lot of re-discovering everything. Yes in someways I am better than I was before but I’m not completely healed and it’s been a long while and a very shitty road. Just deal with the issues that you can as early as possible, resetting does nothing but started over and you have to go through the all that again while re-learning many skills
@@foxydear4020 Wait, how did you go about resetting your life? I imagined OP was talking about some sort of magical restart button
This demands more likes than it has.
I feel you
I've often struggled with feeling like an outsider in my own body just watching life play out. Even the feeling of moving fast and slow at the same time, it's hard to explain how time feels when I'm like this but I feel like this video gave me some answers.
I have always struggled with feelings of slight dissociation, even as a kid, constantly daydreaming. As I got older and into my late teens I started messing around with psychedelics such as marijuana, psilocybin magic mushrooms and eventually LSD. I became really disconnected from my sense of reality and the world after LSD. It definitely broadened my perception of EVERYTHING, and made me EXTREMELY self aware. It made me think way to much and I honestly regret it every day. But at one point I started to feel crazy in my head. I thought I lost myself and my mind. It was extremely scary and confusing. It caused me to be extremely depressed. I hit a point where I couldn’t live like this and I strived to be and get better. I got better with a lot of hard work and self education, reassurance and of course time. I occasionally still dissociate but its not as bad, I also continue to occasionally smoke marijuana for medical reasons but I keep it minimal. Id probably see a decline in my dissociation if I stopped using marijuana all together though... Anyways, Its really interesting and good knowing other people deal with this. I remember feeling so alone.
Hang in there if you’re in a bad spot. It will get better.
Mine occurred because of psychedelics how are you now ?
@@Dave.mcclinton same I’m starting to think the same thing
@@toegangtoegang6116 what are you guys gonna do to help the problem because i have the same thing as well and i wanna know different ways
I relate to you so much ❤️
Or it won't "get better" for some of us.
I find this subject incredibly triggering, but I need to understand what is happening to me. Your voice and non-judgemental approach made it easier to handle. Thank you.
I'm crying because In reading so many of your stories, I have found that I am not alone!
Oh...This helps a lot on how to explain how I feel. I usually feel disconnected for things, people, and myself. I have a really hard time remember my past, childhood and teens. And I feel like I have multiple people living inside me. I've had a rough start up, but the feelings started about 2yrs ago. Then my grandma dies, it worsens, and not even a year after her, my uncle died a week ago and I feel like it's at the worse. I got confused on who my parents were twice and I still can't recognize myself in a mirror. I thought it was just anxiety and depression, but I've felt like this for awhile now. I am so thankful I found this, it helps on how I feel and how I can explain to those who don't understand it.
As a person with C/PTSD I dissociate a lot and I 2 system friends with D.I.D as well it's harder than you think
I AM SOOOOOOOOOO THANKFUL for this video, I literally grew up, since I was like 8, understanding my problems as a "mind-body division" where my body was on auto polite and it felt like constant torture to just watch it do actions, both harmful and minor, that drove me to develop even worse internal issues. This was beautifully animated and thank you for clarifying the difference between how people with BPD and anxiety experience this differently from people with dissociative disorders.
For clarification, I recently got classified as having a high possibility of having this especially when my own explanation of my experiences matched the standard understanding of it, by two separate counsellors. And I'm now gonna meet with a psychiatrist for an official diagnosis. I'm just so happy this video exists cause I often presumed it was Schizophrenia that was affecting me but the way those were explained never really matched as much as this.
I'm experiencing this and I'm really struggling... can you please try to help me. thank you.
This was good, although the goal of therapy for DID isn't always to make the alters become one person. In fact, a lot of people with DID are against the idea as it would be like dying/losing all you friends and they understandably don't always want that. Some do, but a lot don't.
not to be rude or anything, but what would be a better way for treating it?
@@zesu09 Some people with DID only want to get a better connection with their alters and help some of the ones that could be causing problems for them in order to live a happy life. If you want to know more benefits of not integrating alters you should look it up somewhere else, I'm definitely not a professional.
@@radioisactive7590 ahh, so some people with DID think of alters as their friends? thats pretty neat. thank you very much :)
@@zesu09 yeah, media tends to make out alters as always bad, but that's not usually the case
@@radioisactive7590 yeah all the videos ive seen of schizophrenic people have people being afraid of them or the person themselves being upset :( its rare to see happy people nowadays
Dit is meer herkenbaar voor mij. Ik had bijna de diagnose autisme gekregen. Twee zware trauma's opgelopen in mijn leven. Een als kind en een op de leeftijd van 50 jaar en niet kunnen herstellen hiervan. Thank you.
Trauma - Yeah, I once got so much trauma when I was 10 and I was drowning and screaming for help but can't since my mouth is in water. I did not have any swimming experience at all so I did not know what to do.
Basically, the currents dragged me away to the point where I can't swim and water is filling my mouth... A man saw me and saved me.. and I went home on a bus, puking... But thank gosh, a couple saw me about to puke and gave me a bag.. I learned so much that Humanity can also be kind. But after that experience, I got thalassophobia. Very cool I guess..
Suicide Attempts - I once did an attempt of Suicide... (don't do this) but I grabbed a knife while crying and I wanted to end my FREAKING LIFE.. Good thing my grandmother saw me before I can do it... I might do it in the future again since I've been feeling abused lately.. or it might just be depression, who knows?
Forgetting/Memory Loss - When my family orders me to get something, I tend to forget it.
I'm pretty sure this is common so I don't really bother. I also fell down the stairs and hit my head and felt nothing which is strange, but I'm pretty sure that's nothing.
Not Feeling Real - I tend to get ignored a lot.. LIKE... A LOT..
I would say something and no one would respond which is sad.. My 4 year old friendship was torn into pieces just from her treating me like I don't exist.. Not answering calls, Leaving me on read and lies to my friends that she "Doesn't know what to say" but she never told me that. ONLY TO HER FRIENDS, I spoke to her friends and that's how I found out. Or maybe just a coincidence, who knows?
Dissociation - And as to the "Not Feeling like I exist" scenario, I also Dissociate which is weird.. When I was 6, I often get lost and I started crying since I don't know where my mom was.. A police guard found me and my brother crying at a part of a BIG BIG BIG MALL. Like, not you're regular day grocery store. Like, one of the biggest malls in Asia. SM Megamall in Philippines and thank god my aunt for me and my brother and was safe. Okay, and these ones happened to me a lot.. LIKE, LOT LOT. I forget what I have said which is also very normal I'm pretty sure.. right? In all seriousness, It's probably just anxiety. Who knows? And I also tend to hallucinate which is also normal for some. There was this one time where I thought my mom and brother was home and told my friend through text that they're back. I excitedly went downstairs to see no one but the dogs in the house..
No one was there.. and the car disappeared.. but weirdly though, my text wasn't a hallucination.. and I told my friend again that I must have been hallucinating and kept talking about other stuff. (And this happened when I was alone in the dark and was scared since I get praranoid being alone in the dark)
These just might be depression, who knows?
We care about you. If you want to talk to someone or are experiencing suicidal thoughts, text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. For international resources, this list (www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html) is a good place to start.
Is your surname durden by any chance
@@asianwarrior2193 No
@@MarxrileyAoki I know it is Tyler don't lie to me
I just found out that my father has this disorder I though he was hating me, poor dad never though of how bad his childhood was.
same here. I wish mental health and seeking help for childhoo abuse was more normalized back then, now he's so messed up
Thank you for the video. I suffer from this disorder as well. It's painful to go through life and the shame caused by dissociation. THERE is treatment! I remember as a child/kid I was left alone for a long period of time. I was scared and couldn’t sleep.. the only way to cope was to dissociate and check out. No one to talk to, as my mother did not care about her children and their wellbeing. The more you talk about it you become more conscious. It’s a life long journey and very painful one but It’s manageable. I have good days and bad ones but I don’t give up.
God bless you all.
In my counseling sessions we have discovered over 40 different identies.
I have overt dissociative identity disorder and this video was really great for me to show to friends and family to help explain it to them! Thanks for making this video!
7:40 - Integration is one of the options for treatment however cooperation is another and often the main focus.
i’ve always tried explaining how i felt but the way you explained depersonalization in this hit the nail on the head
This made me cry, depersonalisation/derealisation is hell. God, the other disorders sound absolutely torturing. Whoever experiences them, you are so strong and inspirational!
Ive been suffering with this for over 4 years almost everyday of my life & i wouldn’t wish this on anybody.
Hope you got help brother, everything will be ok stay strong!!
Cool video, it reminded me of some bad stuff though. For long years, I couldn’t remember my first years at primary school. At all. Now I just... don’t wanna think about it. Even now, I often experience depersonalization/derealization, but I guess that’s the result of my lonely, boring lifestyle...
I found that the lonely and boring feelings came from my adaptations to isolate and keep things similar so that I could have some sense of calm in between dissociation disrupting my daily life and the trauma memories coming back. Someone told me that trauma isn't the event it is the adaptation (the stuff you do to avoid remembering/survive/live). Made me mad at first but there is a lot of truth to it. Now I actually enjoy the boring things and it has helped me to appreciate the freewill I have to do boring stuff!
As someone who has (what was considered a severe form of) the chronic version of Depersonalization Disorder for about 13 years now, I assure you, it does get better/ easier. And in fact, it has its own set of advantages. What used to put 18-year-old me on the suicide watch floor - I now look at in many ways as a gift. You are loved, you are capable, and above all - you WILL survive this... and even learn to thrive.
Thank you so much for this! I think that Dissociative Disorders (DID especially) have been stereotyped a lot in today's world, and this really helped with my overall understanding of Dissociative Disorders. Thank you for your helpful, well-versed explanations on the subject!
Glad to be of help! 😊
Continuous dissociative amnesia fits well
with me I find it difficult taking in information and holding it ...I have to relearn it's frustrating. I have problems with free recall. I forget what I've just done .... everything is like slight of hand it's there one minute gone the next. I think dissociation/emotional numbing make it difficult to lay down new information as we associate emotional experience with our ability to process and store information...hence the term you have to have a feel for learning something knew. Dissociation acts like a filter to the world ...blocks experience...
Same here
Same with me. This fits what i experience almost exactly. it's good to know other people are here, experiencing the same thing i am.
How would something like this be fixed or better managed?
setitthen brother I have this to we can be healed God just wants us to forget we live like shit man everyday I wake up like what u said always have to keep learning no emotions feeling depressed This is because of i forgiveness from a tramtic event I’m trying to have someone minister my soul wounds search it up u will see what I mean
so happy I found this video, I was never sure how to describe to people what I experience but this is perfect, I can get help now
I have 3 personalities: the one that drives the vehicle that is my body & has to face the "real" world, one that takes/took abuse, & a nameless dog that would be your best friend if you could get close enough for her to trust you. I've been living as more than one person since I was a teen & hiding them is difficult. It's like trying to keep a classroom in my head full of unruly kids quite.
Kia ora, as someone who does suffer from dissociative amnesia and derealization/depersonalization disorder I'd just like to say you did an amazing job explaining and portraying this!! Keep up the amazing mahi ♥️.
This is a great video with a wonderfully brief, accurate, and understandable explanation. It's been desperately needed to demystify and destigmatize this condition.
Not a person with DID, but speaking on behalf of friends and things I’ve heard from a therapist on RUclips. Many systems (collective of alters in DID) don’t want integration, they can function much like a family and don’t want to lose that
We've had DID/OSDD since our childhood, understanding the behaviour and the mechanisms of this disorder has enlightened our mind making it way easier to cope with the symptoms described. Nowadays we are all in Therapy on a long journey to communicate better, enhancing our ability to co-operate in the Outside world. - Gregorio
Sometimes when I stand up, walk, and do other things I feel like I’m in a dream. Its very weird but also calming. I don’t know how to say this but it is a really weird feeling. I had several panic attacks when i was 4-8. I also have a trauma from my childhood when I was four.
OSDD-1b. It’s not always fun but we learn to live with it!
-The Saturn System
I've had this once when I had a drug addiction to heroin and methamphetamine. When I was up for 3 days, the opioid use made me completely black out. I was walking, not remembering who I was, where I lived, where I was born, what my race, age, and name was. I was still able to speak coherently. It was in the middle of downtown Atlanta. I remember walking and these "nice" gentleman gave me a jacket. I foolishly gave them my wallet to take a look at for some strange reason. I ended up losing all my credit and debit cards and got my phone stolen when I started regaining my memory. Fortunately(or unfortunately) all my cards were maxed out and couldn't be used. That past is behind me now, but I still have to fight it from time to time.
i feel like i’m not in my body and watching from above, but only when i’m high💀
that’s normal when ur high
today my best friend opened up to me about some feelings that really bother her all the time, and she's really struggling. I thought it was some sort of dissociative disorder, and now I'm sure. I'm crying right now. I'm so thankful for this video. I'll do my best.
Thanks for being a great best friend, Luisa! We hope that this video was able to help. 🙏🏼
@@osmosis aw, thank you so, so much!!
as a person with dpdr these kinds of videos are Super interesting, thank you so much for making them!
Yep, I need to go get checked out
Same
Thank you so much for sharing this, much appreciated. I can be more understanding of those I love & be more at ease with what is happening.
I'm not the type of guy to self diagnose but I display A LOT of these symptoms especially while growing up, I never felt like I had a niche and couldn't fit in anywhere and still to this day I am not sure who I am and what my place is in this world
Thank you Sarah!
Amazing video👍👍 I like your voice sara. It's easy to understand. I hope to listen to you in many videos.
today i simply saw a comment that said wake up, i had a mini panic attack and the world felt fake. then i was ok face time with my friend and i kept spacing out, and i literally ended up drawing something but don’t remember drawing it. i also was insanely anxious the entire day. i could just be making things up but idk. there are also times where i kinda just forget who i am or will be like “wtf that’s me-“ when looking in the mirror. idk i’m probably making it up in my head
I did this so much when I was younger, I used to stare at people because it wasn't real and I was watching it on television. It got less as I got older and medicated.
Thanks for the dissociative fugue, I experienced this and didn't know what it was
For everyone who’s confused- hello! My name’s Primrose! I’m the primary protector of the Peony System! We have DID and we’re not demons. We actually do have one angel alter, a couple fairies, and one- bat- thing? But she’s five years old and is a trauma holder, and has bat wings because she related to a vampire in a children’s book. None of us have gone through “satanic / occult” abuse. It’s actually the opposite. We were abused by students and teachers of a Christian school, from grade 3, to grade 8, when we graduated.
We are currently all knowledgeable, practicing Christians except for two of us that experienced the worst of the abuse and therefore want nothing to do with the doctrines that we’re forced on us. We are currently struggling to go to school because our host (the one who identifies with the body and birth name) has extreme anxiety, and it effects all of us.
We are not demons. Our disorder was formed from abuse by CHRISTIANS. And we’re not even that severe of a case.
Oh and also, DID isn’t even USUALLY caused by ritual/satanic/occult abuse. It’s usually caused by the families of young children. The stats mirror those of the child abuse stats.
The End (our Instagram is the_peony_system if you have any questions)
I remember when I was younger, I had a strange feeling a few times where I had control over myself but in a very weird way. I felt like I was watching a movie of myself, even though all the things I did, I did mean it. If I remember correctly, I think it usually happened when I started to look at computer screen and when I was tired, so mostly in the evening. I remember I used to describe it as "being drunk", even though I did not drink any alcohol. I also remember this happening to my sister because she described it similarly. This might as well have happened when a lot of people were talking around me. Nowdays it pretty much never happens, although I think the last time It did, It was at a party (Loud music, people talking loudly around me, dark, dynamic lights). Could this be a sign of the first type of disorder mentioned in this video or is it just a normal thing?
i think its called "stare of the goat" or smth, usually happens when ,for me example, playing a game in my phone or laptop when im too tired and it feels like i cant move any parts of myself and feels like im just watching smth
Thank you so much for bringing me this much clarity about this mental health disorder! It really helped me better understand what my sister was going through, even though she's now unfortunately deceased.
What you described about DID sounded a lot like what she had been going through for years, and it really put a rift in our relationship together as siblings because she had hurt me badly one summer and had no recollection of even hurting me, saying someone else (one of her alters) was in her body at the time it happened.
Our abusive mother never bothered to provide my late sister with the proper mental healthcare she really needed, and both my sister and I were badly neglected and abused in our adolescent years. Even though I myself realized and decided I needed to remove myself from that abusive environment, my sister did not have that same clarity as I did, and sadly lost her life as a result.
I did get my closure only recently, but to bring me back to my point, once again, thank you so much for your elucidations!
Honestly, that was really detailed and explained a lot. thank you so much
Idk if it's just me but I daydream 24/7 literally.i don't feel like real life is real anymore.ive created my own life in my head and I'm stuck in it.its an addiction i can't stop it and I'm emotionally attached to those daydreams, I say my thoughts out loud and sometimes I even act out my daydreams, I even cry if something sad is Happening, it's ruining my life , I don't know if it has anything to do with dissociative disorder but I literally feel so disconnected from reality,I'm always in my head and I've had it since I Was 7. Anyone else:/ ?
Noor
I’m pretty sure that’s a condition known as Mittyism if you want to look more into it. It involves heavy dissociation, I’m pretty sure
Try looking up maladaptive daydreaming, it might resonate with you
I feel this all the time but I’m not gonna say I have it cause I haven’t been diagnosed with it. But I’m not sure if I have it
This clip is really clear! so glad I found it. I have forwarded the clip on for people to become more aware of it, Thank you x
I’m 30 and just being diagnosed in the last 2 months I’m watching this to try and better my self and how I feel and act I have severe DID one of my personality is very aggressive and angry and frankly quiet scary Iv been using a antipsychotic medication and receiving therapy and I can promise anyone going through a hard time understanding there alter moods and egos there’s light at the end 🥰 as much as we might not always feel it we are deeply loved and needed in this worlds suicid doesn’t cure the pain it just moves it to someone ells I speak first hand of the attempts and just that alone has broke so many family members, please seek help no matter how silly you THINK you might sound mental health Is scary but your loved 🥰
You have no idea how happy I am to find out that there are other people like me, struggling with the same stuff. I thought I was going insane, and that noone else understood me. Thank you so much for this video, it helped me a lot.
We're truly glad that this video was able to help. 🙏🏼
I'm honestly just curious how many people have this
1-3% bisous
I wonder if there is a spectrum to it though and a lot of people go undiagnosed.
@@ArmoredCricket I am not diagnosed and yet all Alter agree with the DID. Bisous
so many people
I keep forgetting about it tbh.
I have had this all my life. My caregivers were neglectful and abusive. I created girls to deal with Mom, but they got tired of her too. So ponytail came and she scared mom and kept her away. Then after I was R**ED by my Grandaddy, Nieci came. She was the watchdog, because White Horses can’t do everything. Nieci had tantrums in her room and sometimes whispered bad words.
Ponytail had to leave when I went to nursery school. More protectors came and emboldened me to run away. I tried to file a police report, but they said I had to wait until next year when I was 16. I had SI and went to a teen shelter. We loved school and even studied at Dartmouth for 5 trimesters. I had what was called a nervous breakdown. I came home, finished college on my own. Found a career I loved that paid well, and the people stepped back. I didn’t need them as much, but when people saw them, they’d freak out. Still, life was fulfilling. Relationships sucked, but l had two beautiful children. I married my third husband, who caused a severe breakdown, and I went to a PHP. It was great, but I didn’t want to tell anyone about my people, they might really lock me up. I go home, but after 3 months, I went inpatient, but they knew they couldn’t help me. They referred me to Taylor Wellness Center, because I’d been diagnosed with MDD, Anxiety and complex PTSD. I started in September’23. Two days ago, my therapist diagnosed me with DID. She said she saw it the first day. I was SO relieved to drop that heavy secret, only to find out other people had inside people too! So I finally feel free to, and I have been sitting with them and I’m happy they’re no longer a secret. Even my daughter said, I knew it. Now I can really relax and be Me(s). By the way, i’m 59. I have a name for it, it validates the hell I went through, and is no longer a heavy secret. My youngest me is a baby, and I know her history now. I’m learning who they are and what they want for me.
It’s been SOME journey. I’m just I know what I’m dealing with. Thanks for reading.
I definitely learned something new from watching this video. Thank you for spreading this information.
i love ur videos so so so much ... thank u all ..
Well I’ve been diagnosed. Thank you doctor.
As someone with ptsd, every thing feels fake and im so emotionally numb i don’t know what to do.. i cant live like this. I want to feel real and not like there is an invisible wall in my mind. Everyday molds into one and I just don’t know what to do.. thank you for this video
For so long ive wondered whats wrong with me and why am i like this. I knew how i thought was so different. You have helped me understand. Thank you
Ive been really struggling with derealization and amnesia lately. It's definitely because I reached out to my mother for the first time in four years. I spend whole days out of myself and I'm forgetting so much. I'm so angry because I spent so long drudging everything up and dealing with all the trauma, now it's trying to pull me back in and all I can do is watch myself fall.
nice presentation ...it was very useful
Excellent! Very informative. I work with victims of crime and this has really helped me understand one of my clients
this isnt a reference or joke, sometimes during the day i go on “auto pilot” in which i feel very detached and cold to people and am often asked if im okay. i didn’t know this feeling had a name and its almost comforting to know im not alone
Came here because of Night in the Woods (derealization disorder). Interesting stuff.
Seibaa I sort of did the same. When I watched it and did some research, I realised I might have depersonalisation disorder and then got diagnosed with it.
Okay, that was a little depressing, but I really love Night in the Woods.
Miss Mystic Messenger hi I think I have deprsonalization / derealisation , when I feel anxious, I dissociate. But mine doesn’t seem to be as severe as the video says. Idk I’m really confused
Thank you so much. This will turn my life around, being a kid who doesn't really understand how to explain my disorder, I can actually watch this video and show it to a psychiatrist. I think I have dissociative amnesia, plus depersonalization disorder. :)
So if I'm being completely honest, recently, I have been thinking that I might have a dissociative disorder (Or Personality disorder) I really relate to being detached from my body. I've felt it for years in my life and only really noticed now having extremely hard times recalling doing or saying anything for days to weeks even. I've been trying to do my research, and watching this video helps me understand the differences. Ive talked to my mom about it and she thinks I might have 1 of these disorders also due to my really bad mood swings (for reference I do have depression and anxiety but have noticed whats more different from each other and other things like this) anyway idk if anyone will see this but yey.
One of the best informational videos that I had seen about mental illness.