How Childhood Neglect Shapes Your Relationships + Identity in Adulthood - Terri Cole

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  • Опубликовано: 11 янв 2025

Комментарии • 39

  • @terri_cole
    @terri_cole  19 дней назад +10

    Did you experience emotional neglect in childhood? How do you think it impacted you or continues to impact you? For more tips on navigating this and beginning to heal, download the guide: www.terricole.com/toxic-impact-childhood-emo-neglect-guide

    • @ezazkhan4233
      @ezazkhan4233 18 дней назад

      yes mam im childoud neglect people please lack camnicution lack boundaries

  • @kelsey.wishik
    @kelsey.wishik 5 дней назад +1

    I realized in a recent difficult moment that I struggle even with the compassion to my inner child because I had to grow up fast very young to be the strong support to emotional disregulated parents. It’s almost like there is no inner child - just a warrior I never got to choose to be. So I’ve had to raise an inner child who never got be be and that often feels contrived. Sometimes the dialogue is dry - bit progress nonetheless. Your videos are helpful. I appreciate the softness of your voice

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  4 дня назад

      I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️ Thank you for sharing. If you were parentified (parented your parents, video on that here: ruclips.net/video/r6knaYXOtAQ/видео.html), it makes sense that it feels like there's no inner child and just that warrior. I have an episode just on reparenting here that may help, too: ruclips.net/video/bsWXTZ-6Ul0/видео.html

  • @ThandoPortiaZuma-em4sq
    @ThandoPortiaZuma-em4sq 19 дней назад +9

    The hardest for me is giving my self the love I missed, if I wish I can do that.

    • @LvndrBeez
      @LvndrBeez 18 дней назад

      Start with curiosity

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  17 дней назад +1

      I see you ❤️ I have a video on reparenting that may help: ruclips.net/video/bsWXTZ-6Ul0/видео.html

  • @sizzling_rozes
    @sizzling_rozes 17 дней назад +4

    I minimize the grief and betrayal and neglect and abuse of my life but meanwhile it comes out as an autopilot self destructive coping mechanism that keeps me stuck in a vicious cycle as a victim of my past. What you pretend not to see is deciding your life.
    Watching this in tandem with you video with Britt Frank. Thanks. Merry Christmas.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  17 дней назад

      I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ Thank you for sharing. I hope you enjoyed my interview with Britt!

    • @UrbanCommentBot
      @UrbanCommentBot 17 дней назад

      Bingo! Same 😩 Working on that though. I've gotten better. Hope you do too ❤️‍🩹

  • @RachelWilliams-qq3bd
    @RachelWilliams-qq3bd 12 дней назад

    Thank you Terri for the knowledge support and comfort that I get from your podcasts. I feel that you are talking to me, not at me and you present in a way that it is very easy to listen to you and retain the information ( I have cognitive problems due to covid).
    You very much discribed my younger life. I had the flu starting when I was in my teens, my mothersaid, 'go to school you will feel better later on'. I can remember being ill and vomitting in my bedroom feeling too ill to clean it up untill the following day. I would constantly get interuppted when talking or when I would wait for a response there would be none, like her body was there but she wasnt.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  12 дней назад +1

      I am witnessing you with so much compassion, Rachel 💕 "Like her body was there but she wasn't." I've heard several of my therapy clients describe it that way. You might also be interested in the series of videos I did about the mother wound: ruclips.net/p/PLMaWdZCQtiJ8cIK6K5juupfnQEZSlh7Qk

  • @HotTamaleez
    @HotTamaleez 19 дней назад +5

    Listened to Too Much twice in be week. It’s brilliant and such a simple concept to remember. Thank you!

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  17 дней назад

      I'm so glad you found it helpful ❤️❤️❤️

  • @marilynoverton8142
    @marilynoverton8142 17 дней назад +2

    Thank you so much, Terri, for this wonderfully helpful podcast. And free from overly loud, intrusive commercials. Wow! That's so rare on RUclips!

  • @gomolemokau3562
    @gomolemokau3562 18 дней назад +4

    I can’t help but say that your hair looks amazing Terri and it looks fabulous on you and thank you for this topic 🙏🏽

  • @EileenRedmond-e3d
    @EileenRedmond-e3d 10 дней назад +1

    This has hit Home so deeply thank you

  • @angelareyes8859
    @angelareyes8859 19 дней назад +3

    Oh, Ms. Teeei, you articulate so clearly! Thank you for sharing this beautiful insight and love. ✨

  • @rabiabelani1184
    @rabiabelani1184 13 дней назад +1

    Great video, I'm loving this best of series, such gems ❤

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  13 дней назад +1

      So glad to hear you're enjoying them ❤️

  • @DawnBlodgett
    @DawnBlodgett 18 дней назад +3

    This hits home!

  • @caleuxx9108
    @caleuxx9108 14 дней назад

    I love book and TV show "Atlas of the Heart" !! - so helpful for learning about emotions. - Alexathymia ! xx Terri, awesome video.....

  • @JayJay-wg5ex
    @JayJay-wg5ex 15 дней назад +1

    I literally had the "all a's 1 b"report card discussion in grade mum with my mum! not too mentionsuper religious 'perfection'nrequired. Just read Boundary boss it was really helpful. Would love a sequel with more excercises.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  13 дней назад

      I'm so sorry you experienced that ❤️ Did you know there's a workbook companion for Boundary Boss? That might be what you're looking for: boundarybossworkbook.com

  • @kismypencek6185
    @kismypencek6185 18 дней назад +3

    Im so glad this popped up for me today. Id like to give you credit for helping me develop boundaries in my life, and my dream last night is proof the work is paying off. In my dream someone was in the backseat of my car and she started to clean off her dusty dirty chicken getting it all over...i didn't say anything thinking shes a friend its not that much to clean, but then she said she has 6 more to clean. I spoke up to say something like, you didn't ask me this ahead of time so no. Thats all i remember, but for me it was huge that i was not going to take manipulation that put me in a devastating situation. I know its weird, but i'll take it as a win🤣

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  17 дней назад

      I think it counts as a win, too! Thank you for sharing ❤️

  • @darrenfortuin7977
    @darrenfortuin7977 19 дней назад +2

    Hi Terry, thank you so much for your great work and insight! I am just a fan of everything you do - the information really changed my way of thinking. I’m just so proud of myself as well - and it’s all thanks to you as my guide. I am gay and throughout my life I got conditional love from my family and romantic partners until recently I decided I want unconditional love in my life! I want to be free - free to be myself. I am in process to recover from HFC and self-abandonment. Thank you Terry! ❤

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  17 дней назад

      That's beautiful, Darren ❤️ Way to go!! 🙌🙌 Honored to be part of your journey 💕

  • @christypeterson3412
    @christypeterson3412 19 дней назад +1

    This episode on Childhood Neglect really resonated with me. Your recommendations on what to do to heal and re-parent ourself is very helpful. I love your podcasts and have become a follower of you this year. A student of Boundary Boss! ❤

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  17 дней назад

      Thank you so much, Christy ❤️ I'm glad my work is resonating with you!

  • @adrianhayton9883
    @adrianhayton9883 10 дней назад

    Hi yes I am new to your page. I’m wondering if this the area I ought to be looking at. I certainly feel pretty disconnected with the centre of my being. Never quite happy or over anxious or vulnerable when it comes to loving situations xx thanks xx

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  10 дней назад

      Welcome to my channel, and I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ It's hard to say what might help in your situation, but you could try downloading the guide and doing the exercises and seeing if you have any insights! www.terricole.com/toxic-impact-childhood-emo-neglect-guide

  • @caleuxx9108
    @caleuxx9108 14 дней назад

    authoritarian family and/or perfectionistic family..... How about the Oedipal parent....? Abuse - to me it seems that the term abuse makes it seem like it must be intentional, however it might be unintentional; most families have some level of dysfunction. No one is perfect. And emotions is a diffficult topic, that many people get wrong. We are not perfect. Parents are not perfect. Many times emotional neglect may come from the belief that its the correct way to interact. It seems to me.

  • @robingarner9532
    @robingarner9532 16 дней назад +1

    I can't remember any of my childhood. I think this is how I learned to protect myself. I believe my mom never showed me any attention or love? I think I have blocked it out. I have a very harsh criticism about myself and others. I catch myself talk to myself very hateful about everything.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  16 дней назад

      I am witnessing you with so much compassion, Robin 💕 I have a video specifically about the inner critic/inner voice here: ruclips.net/video/aF2xbwKdgi8/видео.html

  • @flyingcheff
    @flyingcheff 18 дней назад

    I keep searching (on your channel and on a couple of others) for something like: "What does healthy/fuctional look like in mental health?" Would like to see that, also. Nurture some hope. 😊😅

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  17 дней назад

      That is weaved throughout many of my videos ❤️ I have tips on healthy love here: ruclips.net/video/jrzowFH2K_k/видео.html and healthy families here: ruclips.net/video/cN-cgDZSTLs/видео.html
      Videos on self-confidence and self-worth, too: ruclips.net/video/kLS-NdgTwu0/видео.html & ruclips.net/video/Wksa1ulAIOo/видео.html