I am OVERWHELMED by the support I've received here. Thank you all. Love you all. I'll be replying to every single one of you. I want to reiterate what I said about being a "Zombie" because there seems to be some confusion: I am NOT saying everyone who goes into medicine becomes a Zombie; the biggest mentors in my entire life are practicing, world-changing clinicians. If I stayed practicing clinical medicine, I would 100% become a Zombie. And life is too short. The only question you need to ask yourself is, "Is the juice worth the squeeze?" For those going into medicine or who are in medicine: We are so honored to have this opportunity to work with people who are at one of the most scary times in their lives. Truly privileged. No one, no one at all, experiences something as unique as being with people at the crucible of their life. You have the opportunity to change people's lives. Lean in. Pay attention to healing pain, whether it's through medical interventions or just talking to people. Pay attention to your team. Pay attention to your thoughts. Your patients are everything. Love, Zach P.S. Added time-stamps: 0:00 I Quit 1:00 Getting into Medical School 18:00 Medical School: 30:00 Juice →? Squeeze 38:00 Residency 49:00 Why I Left 1:02 Summary and what's next P.P.S. Thank you so much to the teachers, clinicians, hospital workers, patients, and mentors I've met online and in person throughout this career. You have changed my life.
Wow! I went through a version of this when deciding to leave my PhD position. My life's dream was to have a Dr title in front of my name in my field. Academia was so incredibly toxic and the more I was in it the more disappointed I was with it. My goal was and still is to help others as an environmental biologist. Making the decision to leave research and the months after were quite a process.
Are you sure this isn't your suppressed depression talking. I'm saying this because I myself am a med student struggling through med school and I wanted to quit some time ago. Somewhere deep in my heart I thought I wasn't built for medicine and I would just tell myself I'm not worth it and that I don't deserve to be here. But all that changed since I went to my Psychiatrist who also happens to be my dad himself and he started me on meds. Today I feel so much better thank God and I see that I am pushing myself to my utmost limits and preparing for STEP 1 even though I know I'm not the smartest nor the most hardworking but I believe that I do have a purpose and I feel the need to provide and work hard to add value to the society I live in and possibly become a global citizen one day. Sometimes you just need to give yourself more time and realize that you are more capable than you think. Please try to find happiness within yourself and not in what you do. Take care of yourself and I hope you end up at a better place than where you are at the moment. Yours truly, Another social being somewhere on the opposite side of the globe... KEEP SMILING!
Hi Zach. I am a dermatologist working in my own private practice. A lot of what you said in your video really resonated with me. I think much of what you felt during medical school and training is moral injury. There are so many issues with the medical training process (Hazing, unchecked power of those in charge, cult-like behaviors, lack of teaching, neglect, etc) as well as the American healthcare system at large (major inequities, lack of focus on patient quality of life, insurance and corporate mandates, lack of physician autonomy). It's a system that routinely disenfranchises amazing people like you who patients would be lucky to have as their physician. Take it from someone who disliked most of med school and residency.....and who largely enjoys practicing as an attending which is MUCH better. It isn't perfect, but it is fulfilling. I encourage you to re-visit your decision after taking some time to yourself and consider finishing residency. You can even choose a job working 1 or 2 days a week while you pursue your other ventures. But above all, always do what is best for you. You are the captain of your life. The juice is certainly worth the squeeze.
Dr. Arj’s point is very well made, from a personal perspective. But I’d suggest to think about a bigger picture: what Zach suffered can, actually for sure, will befall on some other medical students, residents and fellows, who may not even have a platform like Zach has. I truly believe that Zach has a fighting chance, after taking some time off, and contact his residency program to ask to reconsider - and tell them to change !!!
Medical school and residency shattered me. The pressure, the sacrifices, the abuse, the perpetual exhaustion, the stress. But I pushed through it, because the idea of not completing it didn't even occur to me honestly. When I finished internal medicine residency, I thought it was a new start for me. I felt like everything was going to be better. I made it through four years of clinical practice, but the life was gradually draining out of me, and I always felt like the workload was just a massive weight on my shoulders that I could never get on top of. Patients/families were never happy and/or were often downright angry. I often worked 12 hour days, 7 days a week, with very little support or acknowledgement of any kind. I was becoming increasingly depressed. One day I left work in 2018, and drove myself straight to another hospital, to check into emerg as a patient myself. I could not stand living one more day feeling the way I was feeling, and knew I wasn't going to make it if I didn't do something drastic. I was admitted to the psych unit for four months with severe depression. It has been over six years now, and several psych admissions later, and I still haven't returned to full time internal medicine. I have not been able to beat the depression, so this year I underwent deep brain stimulation surgery in a final effort to get it under control. I think it may be helping to some extent. I do the occasional on call shift or cover for a colleague at the hospital, but I can feel the anxiety and the stress the moment I step through those doors. Honestly some days I can barely manage to take care of myself, let alone be responsible for the wellbeing of so many others. But I have not been able to let medicine go completely. It's all I know, and all I've known since I first started medical school almost twenty years ago. Should I have quit medicine a long time ago? Perhaps. I'm honestly not sure. I know I care about people, and I care about doing good work, but I now feel very weak and tired and beaten down. Leaving medicine would be a very scary and hard decision to make. Kudos to you for having the strength to do so if you knew in your heart that it wasn't for you. Life is too short to make such huge sacrifices if they don't bring you happiness and peace.
Hope your doing better. The system is so broken. It is crazy how so many people are having the same exact experience and yet it is still so tabu to talk about it .
@@user-iu5pl1de5d it's a work in progress. Hard to recover from such a mental and physical decline. But I work on it every day. And I choose to talk about my struggles openly... I don't care what other people think. It should NEVER be a shameful thing to be struggling with mental health, especially not amongst medical learners and physicians. Our culture sucks... It offers no support, and perpetually fosters this BS that you should be happy to work beyond exhaustion with a permanent smile on your face, to your own detriment, and never admit that sometimes it sucks or that you're miserable. If my candidness can make ONE other person feel a bit less alone, then it was worth it.
@maureencameron4120 you are clearly a good doctor, maybe you can find a way to use this gift and degree for a more manageable and pleasant work situation. I am an adult nursing student with 1 year of clinicals. I can see how tough it is for doctors. I think the culture in the country and maybe in the world has changed a lot, so that plays a role too with the negative experiences with patients and families. I spent one day in the ED and really liked that environment, but would be scared to work in there due to the incidence of violence towards healthcare workers in that area. I am new in this field , but seems that the system is very hard on everyone including the hospitals with the way insurances and Medicare, Medicaid can refuse to pay, and how some patients really abuse the system going to ED to just harass the healthcare workers. So, it is very difficult for everyone, but definitely more so the doctors who are making all the decisions and balancing everything and everyone. You have sacrificed a lot to get where you are. You survived a lot of stresses. But in the end, you only live this life once. I hope you find a path in medicine that brings you not only purpose but dignity and happiness. I am sure you can turn this around. I wish you only the very best.
Hey Salamano, I added a pinned comment that I think replies to this comment, but I want to reiterate that I still think medicine is a great place to be, really. Truly there is no opportunity like it. We are so honored to have this opportunity to work with people who are at one of the most scary times in their lives. Truly privileged. No one, no one at all, experiences something as unique as being with people at the crucible of their life. You have the opportunity to change people's lives. Lean in. Pay attention to healing pain, whether it's through medical interventions or just talking to people. Pay attention to your team. Pay attention to your thoughts. Your patients are everything. Love, Zach
Hey Zach, I've been a big fan of yours for years, I remember watching your videos during exam time for motivation and here I am, I recently graduated med school here in Ethiopia. I didn't have your level of excitement and passion for medicine, but I wanted a challenge, and help people like everyone says 😅. I have thought about quitting countless times but like you said, I talked myself into finishing by saying it will be better after I graduate. I then saw and heard how doctors are getting overworked and underpaid like most countries do which became the last straw for me. Being a doctor is amazing that's for sure, but I believed this is not the way that I am supposed to help. So then I shifted my interest to technology and look for ways to help patients get better healthcare in my country. I'm just starting this journey and hopefully will get to where I want to be and thats what I wish for you doc. Its an exciting life ahead and good luck doc 🫡
I am a 44 year old doctor, I am in verge of quitting this profession, the system sucks, lack of real empathy, toxicity, damage to your moral values… above all unchecked power of people in authority questioning your moral and ethical aspects.. can not stand it anymore. Enough is enough. We must have a change in the system.
Is it possible to have an independent practice with a few other doctors? I would rather pay $400 a month all year to support a practice and be able to get a regular checkup with a person who knows me.
@@sandyharman5067 The system is working exactly as planned. The corrupt healthcare system is making millions every single day. Administrators and Insurance Co. Execs. make more than many Doctors.
Hi Zach. I’m a 65 year old female Australian psychiatrist. I’ve been following your journey for a few years. I’ve just retired and I can tell you it’s like stopping beating my head against a brick wall. I understand your decision entirely. One possible path forward is to look into doing public health. One of my Aboriginal friends left clinical medicine to do it and she loves it. She makes a really big difference in vulnerable communities
@ I think it’s a good choice within medicine. Some states are better than others. nSW has the lowest staff specialist pay rates in Australia but there’s always private practice.
@@ZachHighley You’re welcome! This journey taught you a lot about yourself and you made a decision accordingly. We will all be here to witness and support the next phase of your life. Remember: When this decision comes back to pester your thoughts and emotions(and it will), watch this video as a reminder that you made the right decision.
"You will do great things" I love that. Regardless if he's in medicine or not he will do great and I think that's what I aspire to do. What matters in the end is that you do whatever you do from the heart, your profession doesn't entirely define you. He's great just for being Zach 👏
I was a nicu RN forever and went to grad school to be an FNP. My parents and family told me that was the life and the end goal. I told them I wasn't into it that much and it wasn't so bad working three 12 hour night shifts. I got paid good. However, I couldn't see myself doing RN bedside forever either. I did graduate as an FNPand did great. I worked for a bit as an FNP and hated my life. I felt like a zombie. I am back at bedside RN and people question why all the time. At least being an RN I am only there for 12 hours and then I check out. Being a provider you never get to check out. I am gonna get out of healthcare altogether as well. It's so broken. Even being an RN I feel like a zombie, but it pays the bills. Healthcare needs major reform or no one will want to be a doctor anymore or a nurse.
Video Summary: - endless sacrifices to get into med school from: 2 year post bacc and 1 gap year - he enjoyed learning about medicine and did well in school. wasn’t sure on which speciality ended up deciding on internal med because didn’t want life of a surgeon or OB/Gyn - internal medicine residency was hard for him. - felt like he was a zombie in medicine - he felt like the residents and fellows are also destroyed. some of the residents were sighing about the tasks and responsibilities they had to do and it was draining to see. - his intern year was rough, he felt like he was operating on 15% on battery savings mode. - he was drained and not happy - there are some people like his Cardiac surgeon he shadowed was passionate and it was a full filling job to that surgeon why he made the decision: - good: growth and camarade he enjoyed - bad: time sacrifice, fitness & health decline, general life things, and administration BS. (95%). He questioned his impact that he was making. - He was not happy. - ugly: “the destruction of brilliance” the fellows and residents were good people but they were being crushed. - no longer wanted to be a zombie This was a well made reflective video Zach! Thank you for taking us on your journey over the years! Best of luck to you on your future endeavors. Excited to see what’s next!
@@mattwalker9647 Studying and working with other people are different IMO. I could study all day but burning out can be easily triggered by the wrong people you work with and the lack of appreciation that you may get. Nonetheless, it is ironic and sad to see this happen
Watching for over an hour was a breeze because your vulnerability and willingness to share your story are so rare. You are an inspiration and will continue to be in your career as long as you are able to fill your own cup as well. I'm not in the medical field-environmental justice actually-but your organization and study videos have been an immense help to me. Cheers to finding a path where the juice is well worth the squeeze.
I’m a recently retired physician. I probably wouldn’t do it again, for the really important reasons you discussed last. I didn’t dislike my job, but I got blunted as a person. I didn’t stay me and I didn’t stay creative or passionate, or physically or mentally fully healthy and alive. I know some colleagues who did, or seemed to have, but I couldn’t. I spent 30 years and I don’t think the juice was worth the squeeze, for me, for who I am. It is imperative to be selfish in this, Zach. It is critically important to make the right decision for yourself, not for anyone else. Add: I have still been thinking about this discussion and it has really helped me crystallize the difference between things that feed me and give me energy, and things that drain me. Practicing medicine drained me. I want my retirement years to be filled with things that feed me and add to my energy. Thanks for the great conversation. I wish you the best! You are observant and introspective, traits that will serve you well.
Is this why doctors seem so unconcerned when patients are losing health because of ridiculous wait times and just the general lack of care in "healthcare", is it kind of like a "well I'm losing my physical and metal health and sense of myself so why no the patient too" kind of mentality?
How did you manage to get through all those years? I'm currently a third-year internal medicine resident in Germany, and I'm also having a difficult time thinking about my career path due to all the stress and bureaucracy.
It’s not just medicine. The systems we live our lives by need changing. Most have become zombies, and are stuck there. Thank you for making this video. Important food for thought.
So true!! I’ve retired for two years now. Looking back my life,it feels like every year is worse than the previous one. I have been a hardworking person and always do the right thing according to my value and upbringing. But our society/ government are disintegrating in front of us.
Yep. Our system is sucking out kives out of us. I went toA developing nation and felt whole again- back to zomviedetsched time wasting world when I returned
I think it’s largely bcuz of the modern civilization’s way of life. The entire culture is about the “grind” and people get separated from friends and family early to head off to university or “become someone in the world”. People used to stay in the same village a whole lifetime and kept all their childhood relationships, all whilst working to stay alive - but it was a more natural effort, and it probably made life feel more worth it.
My jaw dropped when I read the title. Zach, you have helped me so much in my academic journey as an undergraduate student. I am applying to medical school this year and SKMC was one of the schools I applied to SPECIFICALLY because of you. I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in this video.
I'm a 4th year med student at the same med school you went to, and I remember meeting you one time 2 years ago on a rooftop at one of the fraternity parties. I just watched your entire video and cannot express just how much I agree with your sentiment. I remember going into medical school feeling similarly to how you did, and by the time third year came around, I was completely checked out. My first rotation was OBGYN too, and the residents (and sadly some of my fellow med students) that I met during that rotation made me realize just how awful the rest of the year would be. The never-ending feeling of needing to impress others just to get good grades, having to "compete" with other med students who would always try to one-up you and do the most, spending insane hours on your feet and in the hospital (I would definitely cry if I had to do 4am-10pm shifts regularly), and the feeling that you weren't really doing many meaningful things to help patients. I just absolutely hate dealing with it now. I'm post-ERAS and while I'm applying to a specialty that I think I might ultimately enjoy, thinking about having to spend my intern year doing floor medicine is so depressing. On all my rotations now I am just constantly thinking of how much I don't want to be there. I will (hopefully) end up finishing residency, but to be honest, if I had another good option I would likely take it. Good luck to you with everything though.
Hey, check out my pinned comment, sorry to hear. Funnily enough, I had an amazing time in my OB-GYN rotation, even after that awful encounter. In most of my experiences, the light outshines the dark in hospitals.
Medicine shouldn't be about one-upping each other, as a patient I want a good team that works well together, not a bunch of people competing against each other
I think this generation’s emphasis on mental health and good health in general is an important shift. People are becoming more aware of when stress becomes toxic or unsustainable. It’s not about avoiding hardship, but rather recognizing when a situation is genuinely harmful versus just difficult. And It's unrealistic to think that happiness or passion will be constant, no matter how carefully we choose our path. BRAVE decision from A BRAVE man .Sometimes stepping away opens doors you never expected, giving you space to discover new passions or paths. so happy for u :))) can't wait for the new chapters
Stress can lead to mental illness, health conditions and even death so I agree with you completely. These newer generations are recognizing that aren’t putting up with it. We should not be living like this. I’ve seen so many videos like this of teachers and health care workers quitting and I’m genuinely curious of how this is going to snowball and lead to even more shortages and what changes will be made to rectify it. Hopefully positive ones 🙏🏽
As a Respiratory Therapists 6 months into working - the hospital system does destroy people’s personalities. People become negative because the system is negative and the patients become negative and so on. It’s a vicious cycle. Everyone is mad about having to work , and admin pressure makes everyone stressed. 99% is charting and 1% is patient hands-on time. Its rough out there. I enjoy the learning and growth like you said - but 99% of the job is stress and negativity from those around you.
LMAO the ending. 😂 As a 34 yo mom of 4 who is married to a gensurg resident and ALSO trying to get into medical school (4th cycle)....I really felt this....ALL OF THIS. This journey is SO hard and demanding. It really requires you to give everything. It's so unforgiving and the expectations are unrealistic. I am excited to see where you end up and please know that we are all here to support you and wish you the best!
Reminds me of Ali Abdaal who left medicine in similar way and now he is having more bigger impact on society across the globe. I know you too will do something big impactful in life as well. Wish you all the best for the future .
@@ZachHighleyYour medical school experience was still valuable. As a doctor you understand people and the world in a way many other people do not. Exciting times lie ahead!
Zach-unbelievable video. Not sure how it ended up in my line-up. I’m a 71 yo OBGyn , now semi-retired. Your video struck me deeply. Medicine is such a sacrifice, not just the personal sacrifice, but the effect on my family, kids, marriage. The interactions with patients can be soooo satisfying , but those sometimes seem so rare and random. The administration of medicine is very difficult, especially the EMR practice of medicine. I am currently working with the underserved, thinking it was more worthy. I still can feel under appreciated in a situation in which I am really needed. The burnout is real. It’s too bad.
As someone who left medicine and switched to a career in tech.,I initially felt guilty and thought my life was headed nowhere. Now I look back and know I made the right decision for myself and my future. I refuse to be silenced by the years I put into something when there could be so many better years ahead. Life is just once so be happy. Thanks for sharing your story Zach. I am happy for you.
Trust me that it has its own very similar issues. You go in with a blazing passion, and leave a silhouette of the person you used to be. Jaded, beaten and used.
Dear Zach, Thank you for sharing your story - it resonates deeply with me. I, too, stepped away from medical school in the final stretch of my internship to pursue neuroscience and psychology. Long before I started my “mémoire” (Swiss system for Master's degree) in neuroscience and psychology, I had already realized how unhappy I was with the work ethic and culture in medicine. That’s when I began applying to neuroscience and psychology programs alongside my medical studies. During the height of COVID, I was admitted to the ER as a patient and saw the system from the other side. It was a turning point that shook me. I had anticipated empathy and support, especially from my colleagues, but instead, I encountered a kind of indifference that made me question whether I wanted to be part of that world at all. The “zombie” you describe-that sense of numbness-still lingers within me when I think about medicine. Friends and family tell me I’m “insane” for leaving after coming so far, but like you, I don’t want to live my life as a shadow of myself. I want to feel life wholeheartedly, without sacrificing my well-being or values. I still have a deep desire to change the world, but I believe it can be done in ways that don’t sacrifice who I am. Healing isn’t linear; it’s messy, deeply personal, and unpredictable. I still wrestle with the idea of returning to medicine someday, but for now, I’m committed to taking back control of my path rather than letting society dictate what I should do. I also connected with your journey of taking three gap years to rediscover life. I did something similar, taking two years after college to travel the world before starting medical school. Those years opened my eyes to different perspectives, and in many ways, they prepared me for this exact moment-this point of questioning and recalibrating my purpose. Since childhood, I’ve been captivated by the mysteries of the human body, especially the brain. My passion has always been about understanding the mind and the depths of neurology. Leaving medicine felt like walking away from that passion, and part of me struggles with it. But I’m realizing now that maybe I’m just finding a new way to pursue what I love. Thank you again for your honesty. Your courage in sharing your experience helped remind me that we each have the right to seek fulfillment on our terms.
This takes more courage than getting into medical school in the first place. Good on you, man. I'm sure you'll do well in whatever you pursue. Nice to see people like Ali Abdaal and now Zach exercising their autonomy in life. 👏👏👏
This is the realest video I’ve seen in a long time. Thank you so much for sharing. Your videos have always been, and continue to be tremendously helpful. I know this is just the beginning of a new chapter for you. You have a fantastic, vibrant, and contagiously motivating personality, even when discussing something like leaving medicine. Much love
I’ve never related to a story more. As someone in the middle of applying to medical school, the constant email refreshing, the stress of applying ruining an amazing family trip in Canada, and the constant, awkward conversations when people ask what's next-it’s all too familiar. I used to feel like I was going through it alone, but knowing that so many others are dealing with the same challenges brings a real sense of solidarity. I truly believe that with the dedication we've all shown throughout this process, we all could excel in any field. Best of luck to you, Zach. I have no doubt you'll find happiness and success wherever life takes you.
Stay strong brother! I've said it many times and I'll say it again, the year before medical school was one of the worst years of my life. You will get through it. It does get better. (don't be afraid to share your feelings with your family and friends, I wish I did sooner, otherwise I'm always here! Feel free to email me)
I don’t want to be the one who discourages another from applying to medical school, but if this process is causing you this much stress, maybe re-think your decision to apply in the first place. The process only gets harder, more competitive , more strenuous, and more demanding as each year passes. The year prior to medical school should be the best year in terms of stress-free and relaxed feeling.
Have you considered doing it in the Uk? There is a pathway through this Malaysia International Medical University where you study for 2.5 years and then transfer to their partner medical schools in the uk / australia for 2.5 years and eventually graduate from the respectives medical school in uk university such as University of Edinburgh. ps : all it need is just a really easy interview by the professors and a minimum of 3 As for A levels. I have many foreigners cousemates who did this pathway. Now they are doing great in the uk. Then only consider taking Canada professional medical exam if you want to practice medicine in Canada I guess? I have also have so many setbacks during my medical school where I failed 3 semesters but I am now finally a doctor just few months ago. So just have faith in yourself. You got this!
OMG, Zach. Just Wow! You definitely made the right decision, because holy hekkkk you are an outstanding communicator/story-teller! I've loved your videos from before, but this one just blew me away. So much truth, insight... and the WAY you speak, the intonations, the "story" and the progression... I'm just amazed and I want you to do SOMETHING in communicating yourself to people! You're one in a jillion!
After spending the majority of my life dreaming of being a doctor, preparing for medical school, getting into the program and then finally living the "dream" of being a medical student, I decided halfway through to leave the program. I quickly realized the "dream," is not worth the time away from family and friends. It wasn't worth the constant anxiety or the overwhelming burn-out. And it definitely wasn't worth the abuse/hazing indoctrinated into the system. With that being said, it was still an incredibly difficult decision! It takes a lot of mental strength to walk away from a dream. Although you know it's for the best, you can't help but imagine the "what if's" and compare yourself. Congratulations on realizing what you needed and having the courage to step away! Sending you so much love and light for your next journey.
First year med student here. This is therapy. Been watching your videos for years. We love you bro. I love you. This is much needed for those in medicine, those considering leaving and those who are trying to get in. Thank you for being vulnerable.
You HAVE changed lives. Just this video alone has reframed my entire perspective. Thank you for this and no it is never easy leaving something that you’ve put your all into- something I can also relate all to well to. But we’re here for only a short time and too short to live with regrets or to hold onto things of the past out of fear of wasted time. THIS IS THE TIME RIGHT NOW. Change of it feels right and I’m sure in the future you will look back and see this as one of your best decisions
Wow, im shocked, but I fully understand. At age thirty, I was so stressed in my career I had a panic attack followed by a breakdown. Life can be brutal. All the best with your future.
Made sense to me! All the best Zach. I have heard from other doctors that residency was a crushing experience. Whatever you do I am sure you will make a valuable contribution! You are a very thoughtful guy! Go for it!
Damn. Surprised this is real. I'm a fourth-year med student and can't tell you how many I've played through your twelve-hour 'study with me' videos--not to mention all your other videos. I used to look at these 'I quit' confessions and think the people making them were 'selfish' or 'lazy,' and maybe some of them were, but from what I've watched so far, I believe you're making a well-informed, correct decision. I'm not a resident yet, but I recognize most of what you're saying. I think medical school has made me a worse person for many of the reasons brought up here. The only thing that keeps me going is the patients and the hope that maybe one day I'll get to focus on them without all the extra bullshit. I know that's wishing for a lot. Just know that you've helped me get to where I'm at, as I know you've helped others, and this video is also helpful in its depth and honesty. I really appreciate it. Anyone saying this is the wrong decision likely has no idea about what led to your decision and shouldn't be taken seriously. I wish you the best.
Wow thank you for the thoughtful response - check out my pinned comment, I think that’s a wonderful reason to stay in medicine. I’ll still be here posting videos for a while so I’m not going anywhere! Keep your head up and your heart open.
Zach, you’ve always been and will continue to be a huge inspiration. Watching you take the leap from medicine, despite all the hard work, shows incredible strength and self-awareness. It’s a reminder that life is about finding where we truly belong, and you’ve made that decision with such grace. I have no doubt your journey ahead will be just as impactful, if not more so!
A lot of depression and anxiety in healthcare is because of the meaningless and purposeless tasks that these guys have to perform. Licensing exams, coaching, useless tests and procedures. Finally seeing so much suffering and pain itself takes a toll.
I totally believe you are meant to still help people. If not internal medicine then something else. My son is going through this same process with getting a doctorate in chemistry. He plans on leaving. He feels a bit lost, but at this point he plans on using his chemistry to become a brewer. We all support him. We all support you on your path as well. Don't think of it as time and money spent lost. This was a path you needed to go on, and you've enriched our lives taking us on your path and helping us all be more!❤
I'm a firsit-year med student right now, and this reminded me to check in with myself. Be nicer to my colleagues. Practice mindfulness. Nothing is guaranteed. Maybe I'll stay in medicine for the rest of my life, maybe I won't. But one thing I do know is that I am going to be present in my life, just like you. Thank you, Zach!
You are nothing short of inspirational! It’s not about what “sounds good or looks good” but the truth of the skewed system. Having a happy and fulfilling life is way more important! Life is too short to be hanging on my a thread for a job and I wish more people realized that 🙌🏽
I really think this can happen in every field, playing the reverse card here: I've done a BSc in Computer Science, started my career, hated it and felt exactly like you describe 'zombie'. 2 years ago I've finally made the call to reset my life and to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor. Everyone was socked and told me that I'm crazy to give up on the freedom and the income that I had, but my happiness was enormously more important than all of these. I am currently a second year student and I can truly say that I'm the happiest I've ever been, I hope it stays this way. You are definitely a brave man, Zach, hope you find your way to peace and happiness. ❤
Oh my goodness, I hope you are doing well Zach! I have followed you for years and your videos have been amazing ever since my own undergrad years. I wish you a great future beyond medicine!
@@ZachHighley Thank YOU! I was originally on the track for med school until I realized nursing involves what I initially thought can only be achieved through a career in medicine. I love direct patient involvement and taking care of people! However, I have realized that you cannot pour from an empty cup. 🤍 Take care of yourself and take a well earned break! LIVE! ✨
Hello Dr. Zach. I'm also a doctor. I've taken 7 years off. However I'm going to reenter again. I found that working in a group practice is not for me. The administrative ups and downs can be too chaotic. However, once you become board certified as a physician, you can do anything. I didn't let a few bad actors sway me from leaving healthcare. I decided to do it on my own. I will disagree with you that medicine does not do a lot to help society. Most of us would be dead by the age of 40 if it wasn't for modern medicine. I look forward to hearing more about your adventures. Thank you for your honesty. Brene Brown PhD, vulnerability and shame, would be really proud of you for all the honesty you have provided your audience. Carpe diem.
@@TheCuratorIsHere I don’t necessarily disagree with you. But without the doctors, who is going to diagnose patients and decide what drug is needed based off their symptoms, previous medical history, etc.? Who would go in and perform operations to fix/remove broken parts of the body? Again, I don’t disagree with you, but while pharmaceuticals are amazing and have brought us a long way, to say that doctors shouldn’t get credit for increasing life expectancy is misleading, false, and blatantly ignorant. The medicine itself isn’t magic and there has to be a driving force to figure out what the problem is, prescribe medications, and come up with a plan to attempt to help the patient(s). Again, let me reiterate that what you said isn’t totally wrong, it is merely a partial truth, as well as a simplistic answer to a much more diverse and complicated subject.
Happy for you Doctor. You deserve happiness. As a 6 year nurse, I’ve taken an 18 month break, a 6 month break & now I only work PRN. I’m currently on my 2nd leave of the year. Healthcare is a nightmare. Congratulations.
Hey Zach, I am also a med student who has been following your journey for the past three years, and I wanted to say that you inspired me in many ways.. motivational videos, study techniques, vlogs.. even starting a RUclips channel. I can never thank you enough for that. Despite the short attention span I have these days, I watched this video ‘till the end and found so much value in it. Thank you for helping me and many others get better in a lot of ways. I’ll keep on supporting you and your journey for as long as I can🫶
the "it'll be better when..." chain hit hard. Thanks for sharing your story, Zach; been a follower since nearly day-one. As a husband and father in medicine, things are tough. I often think about what life might be like outside of the rat chase. About to start residency next year, and going to keep plugging along for the time being, but who knows. Another kid on the way, and a lot of life to explore. Wishing you nothing but the best. Proud of you, brother.
Thank you… I am a layman but very tuned into the medical field in general… your story does not surprise me. And I’m glad you are so forthright about it all. You did the right thing. And by going public are a beacon to others who may be struggling with their decision. Be well. ❤
Just wanted to say thank you for making this video and being so honest about your experiences. I left medical school in October 2022 and it was easily the hardest decision I've ever made. I had made it to my clinical rotations, passed Step 1 and put so much time, energy and money into the entire process (I also did a post-bacc program). I felt so much shame and disappointment when I left and had a really hard time telling people about it, but seeing this video helped validate a lot of my own feelings and thoughts about leaving something as prestigious and grueling as medical school. Really great video.
I have never seen anything from your channel until now, but thank you for making this video. I am halfway through residency and currently burnt out (it’s come and gone a few times), and I’m so grateful that you put into words experiences and feelings that I have chosen not to confront for what I thought was the sake of self-preservation. Thanks for getting the gears turning in my head and for being so vulnerable and honest!
I've been following your content for the past 5-6 years. Thank you for sharing your journey and vulnerability with us. May you rest well and recover physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Zach, I’ve been following you since your MCAT study plan video. I had always said I wanted to become a doctor, but I recently made the decision to apply to PA school instead after several conversations about the over all work life balance between people in both professions. I was still contemplating on whether it was a mistake, but after watching your video I have peace about my decision. Thank you for being so honest!
I’m in my didactic year of PA school and loving it so far. It’s challenging but I don’t have the existential angst that Zach is describing throughout his journey. Ive met people that have been studying for their MCAT for 3 years solely to improve their competitiveness just to get accepted and jump through more hoops. At the end of the day, the goal is the patient, not the title. The future is PA/NP. (I’m not advocating for this, the industry is advocating for it)
I did watch the whole video and I’m very glad that I did. I am not in medicine, but in a high-pressure career and all of your comments and insights made me think very deeply about what I’m doing and where I am going, or not going. My dad was a physician until he was 78 years old. He was someone who lived eight and breathed medicine to the point where it became his identity and really impacted his ability to be a good father and a good person overall. He was in a sense, a zombie of his own making. Thank you so much for sharing and being vulnerable - a huge decision on your part but I have a feeling it is the right one for you. Take care.
Uh oh… I’m an M2 watching this instead of studying, annd I’m alarmed by how much I resonate with what you’re saying. I still have the creativity in me, but I can see how the system tries to stamp it out. I want to build things, be an inspiring physician, and integrate AI with medicine. I sincerely hope my true ambitions are compatible with my pursuit of the MD and that I can find a creatively fulfilling and rewarding life and career. Thanks for saying what most med students are thinking but too afraid to say. Super great to watch; I’d easily watch another hour.
I can’t thank you enough for making this video. I watched it all the way through and I’ve never related to anything more in my entire life. I’ve come to realize that for me, the juice is not worth the squeeze. I haven’t even applied to med school yet and the magic has already disappeared for me. I’ve essentially come to terms with it and recognize that there is something else meant for me in life and I have to follow my heart. Once again, I can’t thank you enough. Your story means so much to me and I believe it has saved me from experiencing so much pain. Thank you Zach ❤
Wow. You are brave. The most important person not to dissapoint in life is yourself. You saved you from that. You have always inspired me and this in another time that you made it. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
As a current med student who barely watches anything on 1x speed (not even movies), I actually watched all of this at normal speed, and enjoyed watching it! Thanks for sharing your story and for making us a part of your journey!
Hi zach, you've really helped me through my Medical Laboratory Science degree especially during the pandemic, and I've graduated. I wanna say thank you, and good luck to you, to whatever's next.
Thank you for your talk. So true. You are entitled to your happiness. Your talk needs to be published. You were ready to be a doctor of the 0's but started practising in the 2000's. Dr. Zach !!!
I watched this all the way through. I really enjoyed listening to the story. I commend you for being honest with YOURSELF; that's courageous. I'm sorry as I'm sure this must be a confusing and stressful time, but sounds like you'll land in exactly the right place. So many options. I was applying to law school a decade ago and am SO GLAD I chose a different path. It took so much healing and self-awareness to stop living for other people's approval and choose a career I enjoyed, was good at, and could make money in. At that time a decade ago, I was at my lowest - had gotten a paralegal degree, experienced a "pathological" relationship, and was so lost. I couldn't understand why I didn't mesh with who I thought I was supposed to be. I lived to look attractive enough, have an impressive enough career, and win the approval of other people. There's some weird, fake narcissistic identity that takes over with certain career paths. For me, I needed to heal who I was internally. It took years of seclusion really, that subsequently resulted in growth, to make the life I wanted. I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm at peace with who I am and have a small group of people I can trust in my life. Just turned 32 and life is good. I truly believe you'll look back and realize you saved your life, your sanity and your peace with your decision. Best of luck to you!
I started watching your study guides after I started losing my drive in school. I have a year left in undergrad and I've been fumbling and stressing around on whether or not I go to medschool or not. The worst part is I don't have anyone to talk about how much it's messing me up, and how anxious I am about it all. Everyone around me is expecting me to be the first doctor in my family and its this huge pressure to not mess everything up all the time. It's videos like this that help me more than anything. Thank you for your honesty and I wish us both well in our future endeavours.
Have you said this to them? Your friends? And counselor? I’m sure they would want to see you happy. Be careful you aren’t mixing up something being hard vs something being something you dislike. They are different.
Heck yeah, Zach! Wild how we’ve taken so much time, so many years (and gap years!!) only to reach the same end point of disheartenment and disillusionment. I’m applying to residency now and I’ve got a little over a quarter tank left in me… I’m constantly coming up with ideas of how I can do something far from the medical system. This is becoming a prevalent theme and you are SO SUPPORTED! Good on you!
My dad died earlier this year and I saw how hard he worked at his job. All the people he helped his dedication and the impact he had on so many were clear at his funeral, with over a thousand people there and thousands more watching online. Seeing him like that made me rethink my own life. If I’m going to spend 40 years in a job I dislike, what’s the point? Life should offer more than that. That’s why I plan to start my own business as soon as I finish school-so I can build something meaningful that reflects who I am. Thank you for sharing that video.
You are not alone. I have traveled and believed in a path very similar to yours. The health care "hierarchy" in this country makes it practically impossible for any caring person, whether you are the provider or the patient, to avoid becoming a zombie. There is NO DOUBT in my mind that you will find a caring and healthy way to make life better for as many people as you can, including yourself. I got on the right path for me at age 60. Kudos to you for changing your path before it is too late. If you care, you are making life better for many people, including yourself.💞
As a Newly graduated Medical Doctor from Dominican Republic I think you are so brave to say these things about residency. I'm actually studying for the steps but I think you'll do great in life. We should do the things that make us feel great. It's not the end Dr. Zach! YOU GO!
The most shocking video of all time. You are the best medtuber I've ever seen. Your content is way better than any medical channel on RUclips. I wish you all the best man
I’m not a doctor but I’m in the medical field. I’m a single mom of twins, working full time at a hospital trying to get my BCEMP and you inspired me to love learning!! I’m so happy you found your why!!! Sending love from California.
Zach, I want to start by saying that you have been a big inspiration to me. When I read this title, I honestly expected to be dissappointed. I wasn't. I am hurt, I think in the sense that I can feel your pain and frustration. But also, it is amazing to me that you have the ability to have this perspective and self-awareness despite all of the pressure to continue. Making this decision, the right decision for you, when everything and everyone tells you otherwise is so profoundly brave. So, again, I find myself inspired by you. I wish you nothing but the best, Dr. Zach!
I left nursing in UK I lasted 20 years but standards and bullying were dreadful . Documentation became so prominent not to help patients but because of the litigation culture Better times came but I had to grieve the loss . Then got a job flying all over the world and my skills were used and crew kind and compassionate and was able to raise sepsis awareness there I will never forget the wonderful for patients I met ❤ You will be ok
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I had a similar experience, I finished medical school in my country in Europe (6 years), which allows to practice general medicine, but then decided to leave after starting residency. Or rather, my body/mind decided for me, as I had become an empty walking shell of myself and fell into anorexia/depression and became completely burned out. I wish I had more clarity to make the decision on my own, rather than just failing to have the strength to continue. I was very fortunate to go into a PhD program, and I am now doing cancer research, more as a molecular biologist, although I still have a personal private practice on the side. I feel research is actually a good path for those who aim to understand diseases and change treatment with a higher impact - this is not really what most clinicians could do, even if they wanted to, as they are drowned by the day to day. Not everything is rosy in research, it's hard to find a path in Academia, half of the time is spent on writing grant applications or doing menial tasks instead of having the luxury to think about the data, salary is probably 20% of what an MD makes in the U.S. (still higher than in Europe lol), but at least it has the "potential" of being really meaningful. In my clinical rotations, I did not feel this potential, I could not even help individual patients due to lack of resources. I have never seen your channel before, but I wish you find your place in life, in whatever you decide to do next :)
Thanks for sharing, Zach. I have awesome respect for you. I'm retired. I was a "zombie" virtually my entire career as a hospital administrator. Where did it get me? Depression, anxiety, insomnia, two divorces, estrangement from my kids --- multiple suicide attempts. As I said, I'm retired now. I'm healthier emotionally, psychologically, and physically. But, at age 67, I wasted decades of my life --- years that I'll never get back.
Thank you for sharing your story. would you ever recommend a young man like me finish undergrad in psychology and chemistry with zero debt to go into medicine as a career?
Wow, thank you for sharing your story. I am glad you are doing well now! Good quote by Alan Watts: “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
Zach, I don’t want to sit here and tell you how brave or bold your decision is. Nor do I want to tell you how smart or, on the other hand, how reckless it might seem. Honestly, that’s not my place, and I imagine plenty of people around you are already doing exactly that. What I really want to share with you is something else entirely, something that might require me to take a little detour from the usual line of thought. Let me start by introducing myself: I’m an 18-year-old student from Germany. My academic record is solid, good enough that I’ve been able to participate in various academic programs alongside some of the brightest minds. And although I’m not a medical student like you were, I’ve found myself relating deeply to the way you described your experience. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been telling everyone around me that I’m going to study medicine. It was just this path that made sense. People see it as a profession for the elite, something that only the best of the best can pursue. And since I always thought of myself as someone who belonged in that category, it felt like medicine was my inevitable future. That’s what everyone expected of me. And it’s what I expected of myself. But recently, something shifted. I’ve started to doubt whether medicine is truly what I want to do. I’ve started to question if it's really my calling, or if I’ve just been going along with this plan because it seemed like the logical next step. In short, I’ve been feeling lost, much like how you described your own sense of uncertainty. The truth is, I have no idea what to do next. I don’t have a clear direction. And here's the thing: your video didn’t magically provide me with a roadmap or a detailed plan for the future. It didn’t offer some concrete opportunity or a set of instructions for how to move forward. But in a way, it gave me something even more valuable than that. Your words reminded me of something crucial: I don’t have to follow a path just because it seems like the most prestigious or because it’s what people expect of me. I dn’t have to live up to some imagined standard of success that others have for me, or even one I’ve set for myself. You made me realize that doing what you “have to” do or what others think you should do won’t work in the long run, at least not if you want to feel fulfilled or like you’re doing something that truly matters. Now, I understand that whatever I choose to do, it has to be something that not only sounds right but feels right. It has to be something that I can fully commit to, something that will be worth all the effort and struggles that inevitably come with pursuing any path. It has to be worth the squeeze, so to speak. So, Zach, I just want to thank you. Thank you for sharing your experience and your perspective. You’ve given me something that would’ve otherwise taken me who knows how long-hours, days, months, maybe even years-to figure out on my own. You didn’t tell me exactly what I wanted to hear, but you told me what I needed to hear. And for that, I’m grateful. Thank you for the insight, for the clarity, and for the courage to question the direction I thought I had to follow. Your message was more than just a story about your own life; it was a nudge for me to think harder about mine. Sincerely, An 18-year-old figuring it out too.
Amazing introspection and writing, and at 18?!? You will do great things. My only piece of advice is to keep putting yourself out there. Try the scary things. Listen to the people you care about, but don’t set yourself on fire to keep them warm. Keep me updated on your journey, would love to hear more: zach@zhighley.com
Hey, I usually never comment but what you said really resonated with me. I'm Italian and currently studying energy engineering. When I was 19 I chose to study engineering because it seemed like it was the right and only choice (alongside medicine), given my high grades and school record. Now at 24 I'm stuck in a bachelor degree I don't like, in classrooms full of super smart people and getting bad grades at my exams. This whole situation makes me frustrated and unsatisfied. After the first year I wanted to do something else because I already knew at that time that this path wasn't the right one, but my family convinced me to keep going. Now I regret the choice I made in high school and the fact that I didn't fight to change degree after that first year. So the advice I can give you is to really really think about what you like, because if you are passionate about something and you're smart (and I think you are based on what you wrote) you're going to be very good at whatever field of studies you're going to pursue. Don't choose your future based on perceived prestige or friends and family expectations. And if at some point you realize you're not happy or satisfied and you would rather do something else: be brave and make the change because the life is yours and no one else's. I don't know if this can be helpful, Zach has already said everything and he's been braver than me, but I hope we can create an environment where people that are smart don't feel forced to choose a path that is considered more "prestigious" in spite of their desires. :)
Thank goodness that you had your family’s support. If you’re talking student loans, you wouldn’t have the luxury of changing careers. That’s many doc’s stories, which is sad; if they come to the reckoning that you have, they’re stuck. Maybe that’s a big part of our current physician/medical care crisis.
Thank you Dr. Zach i gave 30 years of my life to a hospital being a Tech and there was a bright young man who took his life because of being in medical school no JOB is worth your LIFE God will help you find a way please please keep making videos like this because i miss the man who took his life you told me what he went through thank so much 😢❤
youtubes algorithm is usually very bizarre but sometimes, just sometimes, a video appears on my homepage, like this one, that sounds intriguing and my curiosity says let's watch a couple minutes and man, a couple minutes was all it took for me to get hooked in to your story. you are an incredible storyteller. I am only half way through but I could listen to you tell the story of your life for another 5 hours. truly compelling. the vulnerability, the relatability - and im not even in the medical field. but I sure do know the sunk cost fallacy after spending my whole childhood dreaming of a career, and then 10 years of my adult life trying to make that career work because - how embarrassing would that be to quit / what a waste of my family's money / what even is my identity outside of this career path, etc. If there was any silver lining to the pandemic, it's that it became a wake up call to a lotttt of people, myself included. It gave me the moment alone away from all the noise to really listen to what my gut was saying. that I was incredibly lost and unhappy. and so I quit, and started back at square one starting a new career, which fulfills me now more than my past career ever did. I guess this just goes to show that we may all think we walk in incredibly different shoes, and rightfully so, but the feelings of letting go of a dream that has defined your identity and the sadness that accompanies it, followed by relief, probably feels very very similar to each other. I have never commented such a huge comment on any single youtube, let alone someone I just stumbled upon but this was worth the watch and it struck a chord.
I’m a first year pathology resident and some days I love what I get to do and some days I’m wondering what side career I can build that will allow me to distance myself from medicine. I chose pathology ultimately because I don’t like, or believe in, the healthcare system and felt I was too far in to quit (I have basically no other skills lol). So I chose a specialty that allowed me to be in a diagnostic role rather than a role that “treated/healed” patients- although the idea that we really heal anybody is tenuous. It takes courage to do what you’ve done! Thank you for sharing.
"although the idea that we really heal anybody is tenuous" - This is my problem with modern medicine. It seems apart from emergencies the rest is just an illusion.
'To thine own self be true'. I envy the insight you have into your needs and aspirations. I too left medicine - more than three years after graduating. For me, it was the wrong decision. Having done a 6 year MBBS in Australia, I had no undergrad to fall back on. No other employer really cares if you have a medical degree or not. I now work in IT. I hate it. I would go back to med in a heartbeat, but I will never be able to return. Am still dealing with the fallout. Thank you for your honesty. You have made the right choice for yourself, and are an inspiration to others who find themselves doing a job that does not give them a sense of fulfilment and achievement. I wish you ever success!
I made it to the end and it was worth it. Kudos Zach for sharing what it means to be self aware and courageous enough to do what you needed to do to be the best YOU! Best wishes for your future. Excited to see where the road takes you next!
Hi Zach! I've been watching your videos since COVID (I was in my 3rd year of medical school). I really feel your emotions and understand what you’re dealing with now because I’m going through similar situations. I tried to grow multiple RUclips channels to help others and to distract myself from the stress I was facing. Several times, I thought about leaving this field all at once and start a business and pursuing what I love, but I couldn’t, as my family depends on me, and being a doctor is the only way to escape poverty. Keep it up, Zach! you’re such an incredible person! Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Zach, I never comment on youtube videos, ever. But I want to you to know this. I got into medical school 2 years after you did and you were like that older brother who taught younger siblings how to get through life. You taught me how to apply, how to study for pre-clinicals, and even setting up my anki. Your mentorship through your videos were invaluable to my journey as a soon-to-be-physician and I'm not sure how I would've gone through it without you and your videos. I support your decision and I'm excited where you'll go next. You don't have to be a physician treating patients to make an impact. You made a big impact already and you should be proud of that. I hope you find that juice that is worth squeezing. Please update us with your journey. Thank you again.
You are worthy of a great life and I hope you will never have too many regrets or none at all. It takes courage and you have it. I Am a Doctor of Fine Arts and I relate greatly in Academia with the other 95% of reasons for not continuing . Good luck and find your bliss as Joseph Campbell once said. ❤
Thank you. I started medical school following your Anki videos and used your story as motivation. I am truly appreciative you sharing your story and being honest. I'm an MS3 and think about quitting EVERYDAY. NO ONE will know how challenging medical school is, and the toll in takes on you physically and mentally. But I hope you're happy with your decision and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
I have no idea who you are but this was recommended to me. I am waiting to hear back from medical schools this cycle. I listened to the entire thing. No skips. 1X speed. Thank you for sharing your story. I will still go into medicine knowing full well the system needs help but there are people who are just like you who stayed in the profession to make it better. I am sorry this profession lost you and I am hoping you heal properly to contribute to the world exactly the way you want to. 💙
Thank you for having the courage to speak up in such an eloquent way. I haven’t finished watching this yet, but look forward to hearing the rest of your very truthful and heartfelt story. As someone who is not in the medical field, but as a patient have had my life and different parts of my body saved multiple times by doctors, nurses etc., I really dislike and question the way our medical systems and insurance companies treat doctors. The human race can do better for each other and the planet, each of us can do better for the people and environments we come into contact with. More love, kindness, forgiveness and compassion is the answer (thank you John and Yoko).
They're not right zack. I just finished medical school and since the past 5 years i have always felt that the real change us doctors make is very miniscule. It's glorified by the world but in reality, researchers, pharmacologists.. these people are the ones making a real difference. I truly believe you made the right decision at the right time and saved yourself. I'm too much of a coward, Scared of judgement from my family and friends. Plus, Medicine has wiped away any other hobbies, motivations or dreams that i had so i have no idea where to go if i leave medicine now. You are a brave man and i am proud of you
100% agree about the researchers and pharmacologists part. I think the people who make the real difference are the people who invent to new techniques, new procedures, surgical techniques, medications and engineer the things that doctors use.
As someone who was thinking of med school and decided to do something else, it was the best decision I ever made. I think that constant comparing yourself to others stunts your personal growth so tremendously and reinforces such unhealthy habits, and I'm so glad I've steered myself in a different direction. I'm much happier 🙂 I'm glad you made the right decision for you, I applaud your courage.
@@kristenturner1222 nothing's perfect and life still has its ups and downs for sure, but overall I feel more satisfied. I chose to do a PhD in biology.
Hi Zach, I just watched your video and channel for the first time. Yes, I watched the whole thing and all I can say is undoubtably each individual (YOU) must be happy, and, that being true, you got out in time for ‘you’. But still, WOW. BUT, you’re still a doctor and you will always be. Proud of you man.
Watching this video was very healing for me. I made the decision not to go to medical school while i was in the midst of the application process. This was after working in hospitals and clinics and witnessing a lot of the negative aspects of the medical system. I was treated so badly by my parents and others for making this decision that I really questioned myself for a long time. But as time goes on, I really feel that I made the right decision for me. Stories like yours really help! Now i have found a new career path that combines my creativity with my desire to help people and I am very excited to pursue that
That's so brave of you to choose your happiness, yourself before anything else. Thank you for sharing this story, I am so related to it. Just like people always say don't give up on something, leaving something that you hold onto for such a long long time is hard af. It's heavy, shattered yourself into pieces. But I am so happy for you that you choose to not let it held you any longer. The thing that you thought would be best for you sometimes can destroy you. People might not understand your decision, but trust me, they are not supposed to get it. I hope you will give yourself enough time, enough space for your new chapter. Stay healthy, stay safe!
That’s a bummer. I first saw you about 3-4 years ago when I was starting med school and trying to learn Anki, and now I’m currently interviewing for residency. Good luck in this next stage man.
Bro, I never commented here, but I feel you. I am entering my last study year here in europe(netherlands) and tbh I am considering more and more to not persue a clinical carreer and do other things with my degree. thanks for speaking about the reality of being a doctor or med student. I hope you keep us a bit updated on your new path and also maybe drop a cheeky little video about alternative jobs or carreers with a medical degree ;)
Congrats! I dated a zombie internist with two phones, a pager, Sunday rounds, calls from hospital at all hours-he’s a wonderful person. I ended the relationship. The sacrifice of lifestyle due to his profession and the realization that his schedule would never change was not a way I wanted to live. Being honest with yourself is far more commendable than wearing that long white coat. Find what you enjoy doing and do it!
Once he becomes more senior, his life would have stabilised and his income and quality of life would improve immensely. His hours would be far more regular. This intense period only lasts for a short while, consider it a temporary rite of passage.
Dr. Zach, you've got such an emotive and expressive way of telling the story, I watched all the way and felt the emotions through the screen! Thanks for verbalizing your feelings so clearly, it made me feel validated in how frantic and full of frenzy the pre-med path felt for me. I also had my first panic attack on this same journey; during the MCAT studies... For me continuing to pursue the medical field felt like building up a golden cage and locking myself in it with my own hands😅😅 highly prestigious and rightfully respected field but the sacrifice is so great it takes a lot from you, your life, and your loved ones. I had to forgo making that sacrifice for the sake of my health and sanity... Best of luck with your next chapter, it sounds like you're on the cusp of something healing and exciting! :)
I have followed you for several years. I would not throw all the effort and learning away. I would do something in the medical field. An MD can allow you do to many things that are not clinical. (I retired from medicine last year after 40 years of practice.) Alternatively, you can take a year off and do a less stressful residency. You can always adjust your hours afterward and work 2 or 3 days a week. There are many options. You are burned out. Give yourself a break. You are very smart, and you just need a break. Best of luck!
Wow. I was just watching your videos as a medical student in order to gauge what life is like as a student, as I hope to become one in 2025. I honestly did not expect this, but I applaud you tremendously for having the courage to carry out this decision. I know a lot of people wouldn't be able to say the same, even though they want out just as badly. Good Luck in this new chapter of yours Zach. I have no doubt you'll exceed in whatever endeavor you pursue.
As a dentist, I can tell you many people in medicine feel crushed from their overwhelming debt, lack of appreciation from patients, and fighting with insurance companies/horrible compensation compared to our expertise and lengthy schooling. In turn, it is exhausting having to explain to patients why you are choosing a more costly option for treatment that is better in the long term rather than "just do what my insurance covers." Most people went into medicine/dental/pharmacy/nursing yo improve the lives of our patients...but all of the additional stuff just adds on to the stress.
Fourth year med student here. I remember watching your videos when I was first getting started trying to figure out how to study, and this video popped up on my suggested videos today. I initially wanted to pursue primary care and walked away from it for very similar reasons to what you described in your experiences. Happy for you and excited to see what you do next.
I started watching your videos to get studying advice. I went back to school mid-life because I hated my very enviable job in the entertainment industry and had to gain new skills to do something else. Just recently, I quit my job despite still having 2 years left to complete my degree because I simply could not keep going. My family and friends questioned my sanity doing this. I only wanted to say that watching all the videos on studying on YT, made me wish I had the time and energy to pursue medicine as a career. Maybe it's different when actually practicing medicine, but from an outsider's perspective, it's at least making a difference. I spent 30 years stressing over entertainment industry non-sense that truly did not matter but it became my life. I have nothing but regret for those wasted 30 years. At least you realized you were on the wrong path early on and not decades later. I hope you can apply what you've learned studying medicine all these years to a career that you enjoy and that can in fact make a difference.
Honesty and courage. Not just about the system you discovered to be so broken and minimally impactful on health but about the extreme compromises for you and the sad fact that staying in because of the sunk cost (which was almost incalculable) was not enough reason to drop your dream of having a meaningful and happy life. I just got out of the hospital after emergency laparoscopic surgery (which saved my life) but I didn't see many happy people working there - they all seemed defeated and spiritually ill and I rarely felt anyone really cared about my suffering. I know deep down they do care but it seems the system overwhelms them, burns them out, or otherwise ties their hands. The hospital always makes me feel sick, even when visiting others, and I cannot wait to be out of there and hope to never come back. The thought that I will end up there in my last days or in a "home" is terrifying. I went through the whole process with both parents and my dear aunt and finally with my best friend who died too young from esophageal cancer. My GF is a retired hospice nurse and we gave them much better care - all in all - with home hospice. It was at least full of love and caring attention.
Thanks for the vid~ I'm a nurse here- was initially along the ride for anki tutorials and study with me vids- then here to see how med students/residents make it through- and now here because I know how freaking rough healthcare is but the school/science of it all is fascinating and so worth while.... something in me resonates so much with this- despite the vast difference in training and hours on the job and liability- your thought process and feelings surrounding healthcare/patient care/medicine are remarkably similar. Best of luck in forging your own path forward. You made a successful path with RUclips so we already know you can establish yourself and help people in non clinical realms!
![Chris Langan - The Interview THEY Didn't Want You To See - CTMU [Full Version; Timestamps]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9miVG2xT5jY/mqdefault.jpg)
I am OVERWHELMED by the support I've received here. Thank you all. Love you all. I'll be replying to every single one of you.
I want to reiterate what I said about being a "Zombie" because there seems to be some confusion:
I am NOT saying everyone who goes into medicine becomes a Zombie; the biggest mentors in my entire life are practicing, world-changing clinicians.
If I stayed practicing clinical medicine, I would 100% become a Zombie. And life is too short.
The only question you need to ask yourself is, "Is the juice worth the squeeze?"
For those going into medicine or who are in medicine:
We are so honored to have this opportunity to work with people who are at one of the most scary times in their lives. Truly privileged.
No one, no one at all, experiences something as unique as being with people at the crucible of their life. You have the opportunity to change people's lives.
Lean in.
Pay attention to healing pain, whether it's through medical interventions or just talking to people.
Pay attention to your team.
Pay attention to your thoughts.
Your patients are everything.
Love,
Zach
P.S. Added time-stamps:
0:00 I Quit
1:00 Getting into Medical School
18:00 Medical School:
30:00 Juice →? Squeeze
38:00 Residency
49:00 Why I Left
1:02 Summary and what's next
P.P.S. Thank you so much to the teachers, clinicians, hospital workers, patients, and mentors I've met online and in person throughout this career. You have changed my life.
You have done wonderful things. You will continue to do wonderful things. You are a beautiful gift to the world 🙏❤️
@@ZachHighley love your content,
i mean it.
I respect your decision man! It takes balls to make such a big decision. Have faith in yourself, I pray everything good happens to you.
Wow! I went through a version of this when deciding to leave my PhD position. My life's dream was to have a Dr title in front of my name in my field. Academia was so incredibly toxic and the more I was in it the more disappointed I was with it. My goal was and still is to help others as an environmental biologist. Making the decision to leave research and the months after were quite a process.
Are you sure this isn't your suppressed depression talking. I'm saying this because I myself am a med student struggling through med school and I wanted to quit some time ago. Somewhere deep in my heart I thought I wasn't built for medicine and I would just tell myself I'm not worth it and that I don't deserve to be here. But all that changed since I went to my Psychiatrist who also happens to be my dad himself and he started me on meds. Today I feel so much better thank God and I see that I am pushing myself to my utmost limits and preparing for STEP 1 even though I know I'm not the smartest nor the most hardworking but I believe that I do have a purpose and I feel the need to provide and work hard to add value to the society I live in and possibly become a global citizen one day. Sometimes you just need to give yourself more time and realize that you are more capable than you think. Please try to find happiness within yourself and not in what you do. Take care of yourself and I hope you end up at a better place than where you are at the moment. Yours truly, Another social being somewhere on the opposite side of the globe... KEEP SMILING!
Hi Zach. I am a dermatologist working in my own private practice. A lot of what you said in your video really resonated with me. I think much of what you felt during medical school and training is moral injury. There are so many issues with the medical training process (Hazing, unchecked power of those in charge, cult-like behaviors, lack of teaching, neglect, etc) as well as the American healthcare system at large (major inequities, lack of focus on patient quality of life, insurance and corporate mandates, lack of physician autonomy). It's a system that routinely disenfranchises amazing people like you who patients would be lucky to have as their physician. Take it from someone who disliked most of med school and residency.....and who largely enjoys practicing as an attending which is MUCH better. It isn't perfect, but it is fulfilling. I encourage you to re-visit your decision after taking some time to yourself and consider finishing residency. You can even choose a job working 1 or 2 days a week while you pursue your other ventures. But above all, always do what is best for you. You are the captain of your life. The juice is certainly worth the squeeze.
Beautifully said!
Hey, thank you for the words. Who knows what the future will entail.
Will definitely keep your point in mind.
Agree…well said
@@ZachHighley the future is to fight, for yourself, and fight for many future and current doctors like you !
Dr. Arj’s point is very well made, from a personal perspective. But I’d suggest to think about a bigger picture: what Zach suffered can, actually for sure, will befall on some other medical students, residents and fellows, who may not even have a platform like Zach has. I truly believe that Zach has a fighting chance, after taking some time off, and contact his residency program to ask to reconsider - and tell them to change !!!
Medical school and residency shattered me. The pressure, the sacrifices, the abuse, the perpetual exhaustion, the stress. But I pushed through it, because the idea of not completing it didn't even occur to me honestly. When I finished internal medicine residency, I thought it was a new start for me. I felt like everything was going to be better. I made it through four years of clinical practice, but the life was gradually draining out of me, and I always felt like the workload was just a massive weight on my shoulders that I could never get on top of. Patients/families were never happy and/or were often downright angry. I often worked 12 hour days, 7 days a week, with very little support or acknowledgement of any kind. I was becoming increasingly depressed. One day I left work in 2018, and drove myself straight to another hospital, to check into emerg as a patient myself. I could not stand living one more day feeling the way I was feeling, and knew I wasn't going to make it if I didn't do something drastic. I was admitted to the psych unit for four months with severe depression.
It has been over six years now, and several psych admissions later, and I still haven't returned to full time internal medicine. I have not been able to beat the depression, so this year I underwent deep brain stimulation surgery in a final effort to get it under control. I think it may be helping to some extent. I do the occasional on call shift or cover for a colleague at the hospital, but I can feel the anxiety and the stress the moment I step through those doors. Honestly some days I can barely manage to take care of myself, let alone be responsible for the wellbeing of so many others. But I have not been able to let medicine go completely. It's all I know, and all I've known since I first started medical school almost twenty years ago.
Should I have quit medicine a long time ago? Perhaps. I'm honestly not sure. I know I care about people, and I care about doing good work, but I now feel very weak and tired and beaten down. Leaving medicine would be a very scary and hard decision to make. Kudos to you for having the strength to do so if you knew in your heart that it wasn't for you. Life is too short to make such huge sacrifices if they don't bring you happiness and peace.
Hope your doing better. The system is so broken. It is crazy how so many people are having the same exact experience and yet it is still so tabu to talk about it .
@@user-iu5pl1de5d it's a work in progress. Hard to recover from such a mental and physical decline. But I work on it every day. And I choose to talk about my struggles openly... I don't care what other people think. It should NEVER be a shameful thing to be struggling with mental health, especially not amongst medical learners and physicians. Our culture sucks... It offers no support, and perpetually fosters this BS that you should be happy to work beyond exhaustion with a permanent smile on your face, to your own detriment, and never admit that sometimes it sucks or that you're miserable. If my candidness can make ONE other person feel a bit less alone, then it was worth it.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing your story. Wishing you the best.
thanks for sharing
@maureencameron4120 you are clearly a good doctor, maybe you can find a way to use this gift and degree for a more manageable and pleasant work situation. I am an adult nursing student with 1 year of clinicals. I can see how tough it is for doctors.
I think the culture in the country and maybe in the world has changed a lot, so that plays a role too with the negative experiences with patients and families.
I spent one day in the ED and really liked that environment, but would be scared to work in there due to the incidence of violence towards healthcare workers in that area.
I am new in this field , but seems that the system is very hard on everyone including the hospitals with the way insurances and Medicare, Medicaid can refuse to pay, and how some patients really abuse the system going to ED to just harass the healthcare workers. So, it is very difficult for everyone, but definitely more so the doctors who are making all the decisions and balancing everything and everyone.
You have sacrificed a lot to get where you are. You survived a lot of stresses. But in the end, you only live this life once.
I hope you find a path in medicine that brings you not only purpose but dignity and happiness.
I am sure you can turn this around. I wish you only the very best.
I just entered medicine this year, and this is what RUclips has been recommending to me since then
harsh truth,
Same here hahhaaha
Hey Salamano, I added a pinned comment that I think replies to this comment, but I want to reiterate that I still think medicine is a great place to be, really. Truly there is no opportunity like it.
We are so honored to have this opportunity to work with people who are at one of the most scary times in their lives. Truly privileged.
No one, no one at all, experiences something as unique as being with people at the crucible of their life. You have the opportunity to change people's lives.
Lean in.
Pay attention to healing pain, whether it's through medical interventions or just talking to people.
Pay attention to your team.
Pay attention to your thoughts.
Your patients are everything.
Love,
Zach
Hey Zach, I've been a big fan of yours for years, I remember watching your videos during exam time for motivation and here I am, I recently graduated med school here in Ethiopia. I didn't have your level of excitement and passion for medicine, but I wanted a challenge, and help people like everyone says 😅. I have thought about quitting countless times but like you said, I talked myself into finishing by saying it will be better after I graduate. I then saw and heard how doctors are getting overworked and underpaid like most countries do which became the last straw for me. Being a doctor is amazing that's for sure, but I believed this is not the way that I am supposed to help. So then I shifted my interest to technology and look for ways to help patients get better healthcare in my country. I'm just starting this journey and hopefully will get to where I want to be and thats what I wish for you doc. Its an exciting life ahead and good luck doc 🫡
because it gets the clicks
I am a 44 year old doctor, I am in verge of quitting this profession, the system sucks, lack of real empathy, toxicity, damage to your moral values… above all unchecked power of people in authority questioning your moral and ethical aspects.. can not stand it anymore. Enough is enough. We must have a change in the system.
Is it possible to have an independent practice with a few other doctors? I would rather pay $400 a month all year to support a practice and be able to get a regular checkup with a person who knows me.
Pivot to functional medicine.
Cannot agree enough. Many are moving to functional drs and root cause drs. Let this failed system fall
@@sandyharman5067 The system is working exactly as planned. The corrupt healthcare system is making millions every single day. Administrators and Insurance Co. Execs. make more than many Doctors.
I BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SAID.
Hi Zach. I’m a 65 year old female Australian psychiatrist. I’ve been following your journey for a few years. I’ve just retired and I can tell you it’s like stopping beating my head against a brick wall. I understand your decision entirely. One possible path forward is to look into doing public health. One of my Aboriginal friends left clinical medicine to do it and she loves it. She makes a really big difference in vulnerable communities
I would love to talk to you Elizabeth - fellow Aussie!
I plan on studying psychiatry in Australia too after I finish medical school , is it worth it ?
@ I think it’s a good choice within medicine. Some states are better than others. nSW has the lowest staff specialist pay rates in Australia but there’s always private practice.
Do you need to do a masters for a public health role?
Excellent advice
Oh Zach, I can still sense the pain in your voice but I truly hope you are okay. Don’t worry, you will do great things.
Thank you so much!
@@ZachHighley You’re welcome! This journey taught you a lot about yourself and you made a decision accordingly. We will all be here to witness and support the next phase of your life. Remember: When this decision comes back to pester your thoughts and emotions(and it will), watch this video as a reminder that you made the right decision.
"You will do great things" I love that. Regardless if he's in medicine or not he will do great and I think that's what I aspire to do. What matters in the end is that you do whatever you do from the heart, your profession doesn't entirely define you. He's great just for being Zach 👏
I was a nicu RN forever and went to grad school to be an FNP. My parents and family told me that was the life and the end goal. I told them I wasn't into it that much and it wasn't so bad working three 12 hour night shifts. I got paid good. However, I couldn't see myself doing RN bedside forever either. I did graduate as an FNPand did great. I worked for a bit as an FNP and hated my life. I felt like a zombie. I am back at bedside RN and people question why all the time. At least being an RN I am only there for 12 hours and then I check out. Being a provider you never get to check out. I am gonna get out of healthcare altogether as well. It's so broken. Even being an RN I feel like a zombie, but it pays the bills. Healthcare needs major reform or no one will want to be a doctor anymore or a nurse.
Video Summary:
- endless sacrifices to get into med school from: 2 year post bacc and 1 gap year
- he enjoyed learning about medicine and did well in school. wasn’t sure on which speciality ended up deciding on internal med because didn’t want life of a surgeon or OB/Gyn
- internal medicine residency was hard for him.
- felt like he was a zombie in medicine
- he felt like the residents and fellows are also destroyed. some of the residents were sighing about the tasks and responsibilities they had to do and it was draining to see.
- his intern year was rough, he felt like he was operating on 15% on battery savings mode.
- he was drained and not happy
- there are some people like his Cardiac surgeon he shadowed was passionate and it was a full filling job to that surgeon
why he made the decision:
- good: growth and camarade he enjoyed
- bad: time sacrifice, fitness & health decline, general life things, and administration BS. (95%). He questioned his impact that he was making.
- He was not happy.
- ugly: “the destruction of brilliance” the fellows and residents were good people but they were being crushed.
- no longer wanted to be a zombie
This was a well made reflective video Zach! Thank you for taking us on your journey over the years! Best of luck to you on your future endeavors. Excited to see what’s next!
Cheers!
7 months ago
"Why I'm able to study 4000 hours a year and not burn out"
7 months later
*burns out*
Thanks
@@mattwalker9647 Studying and working with other people are different IMO. I could study all day but burning out can be easily triggered by the wrong people you work with and the lack of appreciation that you may get. Nonetheless, it is ironic and sad to see this happen
@@mattwalker9647 didn't age well did it lol
Watching for over an hour was a breeze because your vulnerability and willingness to share your story are so rare. You are an inspiration and will continue to be in your career as long as you are able to fill your own cup as well. I'm not in the medical field-environmental justice actually-but your organization and study videos have been an immense help to me. Cheers to finding a path where the juice is well worth the squeeze.
Thank you so much for the lovely words!
I’m a recently retired physician. I probably wouldn’t do it again, for the really important reasons you discussed last. I didn’t dislike my job, but I got blunted as a person. I didn’t stay me and I didn’t stay creative or passionate, or physically or mentally fully healthy and alive. I know some colleagues who did, or seemed to have, but I couldn’t. I spent 30 years and I don’t think the juice was worth the squeeze, for me, for who I am. It is imperative to be selfish in this, Zach. It is critically important to make the right decision for yourself, not for anyone else.
Add: I have still been thinking about this discussion and it has really helped me crystallize the difference between things that feed me and give me energy, and things that drain me. Practicing medicine drained me. I want my retirement years to be filled with things that feed me and add to my energy. Thanks for the great conversation. I wish you the best! You are observant and introspective, traits that will serve you well.
Is this why doctors seem so unconcerned when patients are losing health because of ridiculous wait times and just the general lack of care in "healthcare", is it kind of like a "well I'm losing my physical and metal health and sense of myself so why no the patient too" kind of mentality?
@@zanleuxs No. I always did my absolute best for my patients. That’s where my energy went.
@@zanleuxs Become a physician and find out for yourself.
I hope you have a great retirement ❤❤
How did you manage to get through all those years? I'm currently a third-year internal medicine resident in Germany, and I'm also having a difficult time thinking about my career path due to all the stress and bureaucracy.
It’s not just medicine. The systems we live our lives by need changing. Most have become zombies, and are stuck there. Thank you for making this video. Important food for thought.
So true!! I’ve retired for two years now. Looking back my life,it feels like every year is worse than the previous one. I have been a hardworking person and always do the right thing according to my value and upbringing. But our society/ government are disintegrating in front of us.
Yep. Our system is sucking out kives out of us. I went toA developing nation and felt whole again- back to zomviedetsched time wasting world when I returned
I think it’s largely bcuz of the modern civilization’s way of life. The entire culture is about the “grind” and people get separated from friends and family early to head off to university or “become someone in the world”. People used to stay in the same village a whole lifetime and kept all their childhood relationships, all whilst working to stay alive - but it was a more natural effort, and it probably made life feel more worth it.
My jaw dropped when I read the title. Zach, you have helped me so much in my academic journey as an undergraduate student. I am applying to medical school this year and SKMC was one of the schools I applied to SPECIFICALLY because of you. I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in this video.
Hello hello! I an a current student at SKMC, and I’m happy to answer any question you have! Feel free to shoot me a message if it helps
You're so kind ❤@@marytheresadavis7071
@@marytheresadavis7071 hello! I greatly appreciate this - I will definitely reach out if I am fortunate enough to get an interview :)
Did you apply to TUFTS? 😂😂
@@marytheresadavis7071dm me!! i’m also applying id love some advice :)
I'm a 4th year med student at the same med school you went to, and I remember meeting you one time 2 years ago on a rooftop at one of the fraternity parties. I just watched your entire video and cannot express just how much I agree with your sentiment. I remember going into medical school feeling similarly to how you did, and by the time third year came around, I was completely checked out. My first rotation was OBGYN too, and the residents (and sadly some of my fellow med students) that I met during that rotation made me realize just how awful the rest of the year would be. The never-ending feeling of needing to impress others just to get good grades, having to "compete" with other med students who would always try to one-up you and do the most, spending insane hours on your feet and in the hospital (I would definitely cry if I had to do 4am-10pm shifts regularly), and the feeling that you weren't really doing many meaningful things to help patients. I just absolutely hate dealing with it now. I'm post-ERAS and while I'm applying to a specialty that I think I might ultimately enjoy, thinking about having to spend my intern year doing floor medicine is so depressing. On all my rotations now I am just constantly thinking of how much I don't want to be there. I will (hopefully) end up finishing residency, but to be honest, if I had another good option I would likely take it. Good luck to you with everything though.
What specialty are you going in to if you don’t me asking?
what was your experience with SKMC like?
Hey, check out my pinned comment, sorry to hear.
Funnily enough, I had an amazing time in my OB-GYN rotation, even after that awful encounter. In most of my experiences, the light outshines the dark in hospitals.
Medicine shouldn't be about one-upping each other, as a patient I want a good team that works well together, not a bunch of people competing against each other
You seem much more relaxed and may I say, relieved. You will find what makes you happy.
I think this generation’s emphasis on mental health and good health in general is an important shift. People are becoming more aware of when stress becomes toxic or unsustainable. It’s not about avoiding hardship, but rather recognizing when a situation is genuinely harmful versus just difficult. And It's unrealistic to think that happiness or passion will be constant, no matter how carefully we choose our path.
BRAVE decision from A BRAVE man .Sometimes stepping away opens doors you never expected, giving you space to discover new passions or paths. so happy for u :))) can't wait for the new chapters
Well said
Thank you!!!
Stress can lead to mental illness, health conditions and even death so I agree with you completely. These newer generations are recognizing that aren’t putting up with it. We should not be living like this. I’ve seen so many videos like this of teachers and health care workers quitting and I’m genuinely curious of how this is going to snowball and lead to even more shortages and what changes will be made to rectify it. Hopefully positive ones 🙏🏽
@@ag8666very true
As a Respiratory Therapists 6 months into working - the hospital system does destroy people’s personalities. People become negative because the system is negative and the patients become negative and so on. It’s a vicious cycle. Everyone is mad about having to work , and admin pressure makes everyone stressed. 99% is charting and 1% is patient hands-on time. Its rough out there. I enjoy the learning and growth like you said - but 99% of the job is stress and negativity from those around you.
LMAO the ending. 😂
As a 34 yo mom of 4 who is married to a gensurg resident and ALSO trying to get into medical school (4th cycle)....I really felt this....ALL OF THIS. This journey is SO hard and demanding. It really requires you to give everything. It's so unforgiving and the expectations are unrealistic.
I am excited to see where you end up and please know that we are all here to support you and wish you the best!
genuine question ; did you meet your husband in med school ?!☺️
Good luck during your current cycle!!!
Oh my gosh 😮 I appreciate your decision to make this video. Your total transparency is commendable. I wish you the best on your new journey
Thanks so much, I'll be bringing you all with me on the journey don't worry!
Reminds me of Ali Abdaal who left medicine in similar way and now he is having more bigger impact on society across the globe.
I know you too will do something big impactful in life as well. Wish you all the best for the future .
Love Ali! My plan is that too, just not sure exactly how I'm going to do it yet.
@@ZachHighleyYour medical school experience was still valuable. As a doctor you understand people and the world in a way many other people do not. Exciting times lie ahead!
Wdym Ali is having more impact now? I doubt it
@@user-mj6qr2ky9dhe definitely is, his study videos saved me
Zach-unbelievable video. Not sure how it ended up in my line-up. I’m a 71 yo OBGyn , now semi-retired. Your video struck me deeply. Medicine is such a sacrifice, not just the personal sacrifice, but the effect on my family, kids, marriage. The interactions with patients can be soooo satisfying , but those sometimes seem so rare and random. The administration of medicine is very difficult, especially the EMR practice of medicine. I am currently working with the underserved, thinking it was more worthy. I still can feel under appreciated in a situation in which I am really needed. The burnout is real. It’s too bad.
Thanks for all your sacrifice Doc :)
You sound like an amazing physician. Thank you for sharing your story. Maybe we can be the light.
As someone who left medicine and switched to a career in tech.,I initially felt guilty and thought my life was headed nowhere. Now I look back and know I made the right decision for myself and my future. I refuse to be silenced by the years I put into something when there could be so many better years ahead. Life is just once so be happy. Thanks for sharing your story Zach. I am happy for you.
Thank you for the nice words Lizy, what kind of tech are you doing now?
@@ZachHighley software engineering/cloud architecture
Nice!
Trust me that it has its own very similar issues. You go in with a blazing passion, and leave a silhouette of the person you used to be. Jaded, beaten and used.
@@dandam5582 then what do we do?
Dear Zach,
Thank you for sharing your story - it resonates deeply with me. I, too, stepped away from medical school in the final stretch of my internship to pursue neuroscience and psychology. Long before I started my “mémoire” (Swiss system for Master's degree) in neuroscience and psychology, I had already realized how unhappy I was with the work ethic and culture in medicine. That’s when I began applying to neuroscience and psychology programs alongside my medical studies.
During the height of COVID, I was admitted to the ER as a patient and saw the system from the other side. It was a turning point that shook me. I had anticipated empathy and support, especially from my colleagues, but instead, I encountered a kind of indifference that made me question whether I wanted to be part of that world at all.
The “zombie” you describe-that sense of numbness-still lingers within me when I think about medicine. Friends and family tell me I’m “insane” for leaving after coming so far, but like you, I don’t want to live my life as a shadow of myself. I want to feel life wholeheartedly, without sacrificing my well-being or values. I still have a deep desire to change the world, but I believe it can be done in ways that don’t sacrifice who I am.
Healing isn’t linear; it’s messy, deeply personal, and unpredictable. I still wrestle with the idea of returning to medicine someday, but for now, I’m committed to taking back control of my path rather than letting society dictate what I should do.
I also connected with your journey of taking three gap years to rediscover life. I did something similar, taking two years after college to travel the world before starting medical school. Those years opened my eyes to different perspectives, and in many ways, they prepared me for this exact moment-this point of questioning and recalibrating my purpose.
Since childhood, I’ve been captivated by the mysteries of the human body, especially the brain. My passion has always been about understanding the mind and the depths of neurology. Leaving medicine felt like walking away from that passion, and part of me struggles with it. But I’m realizing now that maybe I’m just finding a new way to pursue what I love.
Thank you again for your honesty. Your courage in sharing your experience helped remind me that we each have the right to seek fulfillment on our terms.
I wish I had friends like you in my life. Thank you for sharing. Take care and always stay true to yourself. 🤗
Your efforts for studying the brain- this might be better for the world than anything else.
This takes more courage than getting into medical school in the first place. Good on you, man. I'm sure you'll do well in whatever you pursue. Nice to see people like Ali Abdaal and now Zach exercising their autonomy in life. 👏👏👏
Thank you so much!! Really appreciate the words.
This is the realest video I’ve seen in a long time. Thank you so much for sharing. Your videos have always been, and continue to be tremendously helpful. I know this is just the beginning of a new chapter for you. You have a fantastic, vibrant, and contagiously motivating personality, even when discussing something like leaving medicine. Much love
I’ve never related to a story more. As someone in the middle of applying to medical school, the constant email refreshing, the stress of applying ruining an amazing family trip in Canada, and the constant, awkward conversations when people ask what's next-it’s all too familiar. I used to feel like I was going through it alone, but knowing that so many others are dealing with the same challenges brings a real sense of solidarity. I truly believe that with the dedication we've all shown throughout this process, we all could excel in any field. Best of luck to you, Zach. I have no doubt you'll find happiness and success wherever life takes you.
Stay strong brother!
I've said it many times and I'll say it again, the year before medical school was one of the worst years of my life. You will get through it.
It does get better.
(don't be afraid to share your feelings with your family and friends, I wish I did sooner, otherwise I'm always here! Feel free to email me)
I don’t want to be the one who discourages another from applying to medical school, but if this process is causing you this much stress, maybe re-think your decision to apply in the first place. The process only gets harder, more competitive , more strenuous, and more demanding as each year passes. The year prior to medical school should be the best year in terms of stress-free and relaxed feeling.
Have you considered doing it in the Uk? There is a pathway through this Malaysia International Medical University where you study for 2.5 years and then transfer to their partner medical schools in the uk / australia for 2.5 years and eventually graduate from the respectives medical school in uk university such as University of Edinburgh. ps : all it need is just a really easy interview by the professors and a minimum of 3 As for A levels. I have many foreigners cousemates who did this pathway. Now they are doing great in the uk. Then only consider taking Canada professional medical exam if you want to practice medicine in Canada I guess? I have also have so many setbacks during my medical school where I failed 3 semesters but I am now finally a doctor just few months ago. So just have faith in yourself. You got this!
OMG, Zach. Just Wow! You definitely made the right decision, because holy hekkkk you are an outstanding communicator/story-teller! I've loved your videos from before, but this one just blew me away. So much truth, insight... and the WAY you speak, the intonations, the "story" and the progression... I'm just amazed and I want you to do SOMETHING in communicating yourself to people! You're one in a jillion!
After spending the majority of my life dreaming of being a doctor, preparing for medical school, getting into the program and then finally living the "dream" of being a medical student, I decided halfway through to leave the program. I quickly realized the "dream," is not worth the time away from family and friends. It wasn't worth the constant anxiety or the overwhelming burn-out. And it definitely wasn't worth the abuse/hazing indoctrinated into the system.
With that being said, it was still an incredibly difficult decision! It takes a lot of mental strength to walk away from a dream. Although you know it's for the best, you can't help but imagine the "what if's" and compare yourself. Congratulations on realizing what you needed and having the courage to step away! Sending you so much love and light for your next journey.
First year med student here. This is therapy. Been watching your videos for years. We love you bro. I love you. This is much needed for those in medicine, those considering leaving and those who are trying to get in. Thank you for being vulnerable.
I'm blown away at your storytelling abilities, this video was like a performance! Thank you for your bravery & transparency and wishing you the best.
thank you so much!
You HAVE changed lives. Just this video alone has reframed my entire perspective. Thank you for this and no it is never easy leaving something that you’ve put your all into- something I can also relate all to well to. But we’re here for only a short time and too short to live with regrets or to hold onto things of the past out of fear of wasted time. THIS IS THE TIME RIGHT NOW. Change of it feels right and I’m sure in the future you will look back and see this as one of your best decisions
Wow, im shocked, but I fully understand. At age thirty, I was so stressed in my career I had a panic attack followed by a breakdown. Life can be brutal. All the best with your future.
Made sense to me! All the best Zach. I have heard from other doctors that residency was a crushing experience. Whatever you do I am sure you will make a valuable contribution! You are a very thoughtful guy! Go for it!
Damn. Surprised this is real. I'm a fourth-year med student and can't tell you how many I've played through your twelve-hour 'study with me' videos--not to mention all your other videos. I used to look at these 'I quit' confessions and think the people making them were 'selfish' or 'lazy,' and maybe some of them were, but from what I've watched so far, I believe you're making a well-informed, correct decision. I'm not a resident yet, but I recognize most of what you're saying. I think medical school has made me a worse person for many of the reasons brought up here. The only thing that keeps me going is the patients and the hope that maybe one day I'll get to focus on them without all the extra bullshit. I know that's wishing for a lot. Just know that you've helped me get to where I'm at, as I know you've helped others, and this video is also helpful in its depth and honesty. I really appreciate it. Anyone saying this is the wrong decision likely has no idea about what led to your decision and shouldn't be taken seriously. I wish you the best.
Wow thank you for the thoughtful response - check out my pinned comment, I think that’s a wonderful reason to stay in medicine. I’ll still be here posting videos for a while so I’m not going anywhere!
Keep your head up and your heart open.
Hun. You are manic. Coke? Adderall?
Zach, you’ve always been and will continue to be a huge inspiration. Watching you take the leap from medicine, despite all the hard work, shows incredible strength and self-awareness.
It’s a reminder that life is about finding where we truly belong, and you’ve made that decision with such grace. I have no doubt your journey ahead will be just as impactful, if not more so!
Cheers sir! Let’s keep in touch.
A lot of depression and anxiety in healthcare is because of the meaningless and purposeless tasks that these guys have to perform. Licensing exams, coaching, useless tests and procedures. Finally seeing so much suffering and pain itself takes a toll.
I totally believe you are meant to still help people. If not internal medicine then something else. My son is going through this same process with getting a doctorate in chemistry. He plans on leaving. He feels a bit lost, but at this point he plans on using his chemistry to become a brewer. We all support him. We all support you on your path as well. Don't think of it as time and money spent lost. This was a path you needed to go on, and you've enriched our lives taking us on your path and helping us all be more!❤
Karen, too kind. It means a lot.
I wish him luck! Chemistry is tough but definitely is something that could be used in the future.
I'm a firsit-year med student right now, and this reminded me to check in with myself. Be nicer to my colleagues. Practice mindfulness. Nothing is guaranteed. Maybe I'll stay in medicine for the rest of my life, maybe I won't. But one thing I do know is that I am going to be present in my life, just like you. Thank you, Zach!
You are nothing short of inspirational! It’s not about what “sounds good or looks good” but the truth of the skewed system. Having a happy and fulfilling life is way more important! Life is too short to be hanging on my a thread for a job and I wish more people realized that 🙌🏽
I really think this can happen in every field, playing the reverse card here: I've done a BSc in Computer Science, started my career, hated it and felt exactly like you describe 'zombie'. 2 years ago I've finally made the call to reset my life and to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor. Everyone was socked and told me that I'm crazy to give up on the freedom and the income that I had, but my happiness was enormously more important than all of these. I am currently a second year student and I can truly say that I'm the happiest I've ever been, I hope it stays this way. You are definitely a brave man, Zach, hope you find your way to peace and happiness. ❤
Agreed, zombies are everywhere. Thank you for the nice words.
2nd year is when it is at its best IMO, but I hope you continue to enjoy it.
At what age did you start med school. If it's not too personal.
Oh my goodness, I hope you are doing well Zach! I have followed you for years and your videos have been amazing ever since my own undergrad years. I wish you a great future beyond medicine!
Thank you thank you thank you! You don't know how much it means to me.
@@ZachHighley Thank YOU! I was originally on the track for med school until I realized nursing involves what I initially thought can only be achieved through a career in medicine. I love direct patient involvement and taking care of people! However, I have realized that you cannot pour from an empty cup. 🤍 Take care of yourself and take a well earned break!
LIVE! ✨
Hello Dr. Zach. I'm also a doctor. I've taken 7 years off. However I'm going to reenter again. I found that working in a group practice is not for me. The administrative ups and downs can be too chaotic. However, once you become board certified as a physician, you can do anything. I didn't let a few bad actors sway me from leaving healthcare. I decided to do it on my own. I will disagree with you that medicine does not do a lot to help society. Most of us would be dead by the age of 40 if it wasn't for modern medicine. I look forward to hearing more about your adventures. Thank you for your honesty. Brene Brown PhD, vulnerability and shame, would be really proud of you for all the honesty you have provided your audience. Carpe diem.
Age 40? Seems a bit young to say "most".
@@marcusvaldeslook at the age of death before antibiotics and surgery then you will see
@@marcusvaldes Yep, bro, just a couple of hundred yeas ago it was true.
Wrong - pharmaceuticals did, not doctors.
@@TheCuratorIsHere I don’t necessarily disagree with you. But without the doctors, who is going to diagnose patients and decide what drug is needed based off their symptoms, previous medical history, etc.? Who would go in and perform operations to fix/remove broken parts of the body? Again, I don’t disagree with you, but while pharmaceuticals are amazing and have brought us a long way, to say that doctors shouldn’t get credit for increasing life expectancy is misleading, false, and blatantly ignorant. The medicine itself isn’t magic and there has to be a driving force to figure out what the problem is, prescribe medications, and come up with a plan to attempt to help the patient(s). Again, let me reiterate that what you said isn’t totally wrong, it is merely a partial truth, as well as a simplistic answer to a much more diverse and complicated subject.
Happy for you Doctor. You deserve happiness. As a 6 year nurse, I’ve taken an 18 month break, a 6 month break & now I only work PRN. I’m currently on my 2nd leave of the year. Healthcare is a nightmare. Congratulations.
Hey Zach, I am also a med student who has been following your journey for the past three years, and I wanted to say that you inspired me in many ways.. motivational videos, study techniques, vlogs.. even starting a RUclips channel. I can never thank you enough for that.
Despite the short attention span I have these days, I watched this video ‘till the end and found so much value in it. Thank you for helping me and many others get better in a lot of ways. I’ll keep on supporting you and your journey for as long as I can🫶
Thanks so much for your support, keep going!
@@ZachHighley You’re welcome!! I will🙏
the "it'll be better when..." chain hit hard. Thanks for sharing your story, Zach; been a follower since nearly day-one. As a husband and father in medicine, things are tough. I often think about what life might be like outside of the rat chase. About to start residency next year, and going to keep plugging along for the time being, but who knows. Another kid on the way, and a lot of life to explore. Wishing you nothing but the best. Proud of you, brother.
Thanks for watching! Keep going!
Thank you… I am a layman but very tuned into the medical field in general… your story does not surprise me. And I’m glad you are so forthright about it all. You did the right thing. And by going public are a beacon to others who may be struggling with their decision. Be well. ❤
Just wanted to say thank you for making this video and being so honest about your experiences. I left medical school in October 2022 and it was easily the hardest decision I've ever made. I had made it to my clinical rotations, passed Step 1 and put so much time, energy and money into the entire process (I also did a post-bacc program). I felt so much shame and disappointment when I left and had a really hard time telling people about it, but seeing this video helped validate a lot of my own feelings and thoughts about leaving something as prestigious and grueling as medical school. Really great video.
Well done - glad you are happy now
Love you, Zach! Thank you for Sticking by your conviction. We as patients are very grateful
I have never seen anything from your channel until now, but thank you for making this video. I am halfway through residency and currently burnt out (it’s come and gone a few times), and I’m so grateful that you put into words experiences and feelings that I have chosen not to confront for what I thought was the sake of self-preservation. Thanks for getting the gears turning in my head and for being so vulnerable and honest!
I've been following your content for the past 5-6 years. Thank you for sharing your journey and vulnerability with us. May you rest well and recover physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Follow your passions bro don't think about anyone, we should be always happy doing things we like.
Thanks so much.
Zach, I’ve been following you since your MCAT study plan video. I had always said I wanted to become a doctor, but I recently made the decision to apply to PA school instead after several conversations about the over all work life balance between people in both professions. I was still contemplating on whether it was a mistake, but after watching your video I have peace about my decision. Thank you for being so honest!
Glad to hear!!!
I’m in my didactic year of PA school and loving it so far. It’s challenging but I don’t have the existential angst that Zach is describing throughout his journey. Ive met people that have been studying for their MCAT for 3 years solely to improve their competitiveness just to get accepted and jump through more hoops. At the end of the day, the goal is the patient, not the title. The future is PA/NP. (I’m not advocating for this, the industry is advocating for it)
I did watch the whole video and I’m very glad that I did. I am not in medicine, but in a high-pressure career and all of your comments and insights made me think very deeply about what I’m doing and where I am going, or not going. My dad was a physician until he was 78 years old. He was someone who lived eight and breathed medicine to the point where it became his identity and really impacted his ability to be a good father and a good person overall. He was in a sense, a zombie of his own making. Thank you so much for sharing and being vulnerable - a huge decision on your part but I have a feeling it is the right one for you. Take care.
Uh oh… I’m an M2 watching this instead of studying, annd I’m alarmed by how much I resonate with what you’re saying. I still have the creativity in me, but I can see how the system tries to stamp it out. I want to build things, be an inspiring physician, and integrate AI with medicine. I sincerely hope my true ambitions are compatible with my pursuit of the MD and that I can find a creatively fulfilling and rewarding life and career. Thanks for saying what most med students are thinking but too afraid to say. Super great to watch; I’d easily watch another hour.
I can’t thank you enough for making this video. I watched it all the way through and I’ve never related to anything more in my entire life. I’ve come to realize that for me, the juice is not worth the squeeze. I haven’t even applied to med school yet and the magic has already disappeared for me. I’ve essentially come to terms with it and recognize that there is something else meant for me in life and I have to follow my heart. Once again, I can’t thank you enough. Your story means so much to me and I believe it has saved me from experiencing so much pain. Thank you Zach ❤
Wow. You are brave. The most important person not to dissapoint in life is yourself. You saved you from that. You have always inspired me and this in another time that you made it. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
As a current med student who barely watches anything on 1x speed (not even movies), I actually watched all of this at normal speed, and enjoyed watching it! Thanks for sharing your story and for making us a part of your journey!
Honored at the 1x!!!
Hi zach, you've really helped me through my Medical Laboratory Science degree especially during the pandemic, and I've graduated. I wanna say thank you, and good luck to you, to whatever's next.
Thank you for your talk. So true. You are entitled to your happiness. Your talk needs to be published. You were ready to be a doctor of the 0's but started practising in the 2000's. Dr. Zach !!!
I watched this all the way through. I really enjoyed listening to the story. I commend you for being honest with YOURSELF; that's courageous. I'm sorry as I'm sure this must be a confusing and stressful time, but sounds like you'll land in exactly the right place. So many options. I was applying to law school a decade ago and am SO GLAD I chose a different path. It took so much healing and self-awareness to stop living for other people's approval and choose a career I enjoyed, was good at, and could make money in. At that time a decade ago, I was at my lowest - had gotten a paralegal degree, experienced a "pathological" relationship, and was so lost. I couldn't understand why I didn't mesh with who I thought I was supposed to be. I lived to look attractive enough, have an impressive enough career, and win the approval of other people. There's some weird, fake narcissistic identity that takes over with certain career paths. For me, I needed to heal who I was internally. It took years of seclusion really, that subsequently resulted in growth, to make the life I wanted. I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm at peace with who I am and have a small group of people I can trust in my life. Just turned 32 and life is good. I truly believe you'll look back and realize you saved your life, your sanity and your peace with your decision. Best of luck to you!
Thank you for sharing your story!
I started watching your study guides after I started losing my drive in school. I have a year left in undergrad and I've been fumbling and stressing around on whether or not I go to medschool or not. The worst part is I don't have anyone to talk about how much it's messing me up, and how anxious I am about it all. Everyone around me is expecting me to be the first doctor in my family and its this huge pressure to not mess everything up all the time. It's videos like this that help me more than anything. Thank you for your honesty and I wish us both well in our future endeavours.
Have you said this to them? Your friends? And counselor?
I’m sure they would want to see you happy.
Be careful you aren’t mixing up something being hard vs something being something you dislike. They are different.
Heck yeah, Zach! Wild how we’ve taken so much time, so many years (and gap years!!) only to reach the same end point of disheartenment and disillusionment. I’m applying to residency now and I’ve got a little over a quarter tank left in me… I’m constantly coming up with ideas of how I can do something far from the medical system. This is becoming a prevalent theme and you are SO SUPPORTED! Good on you!
My dad died earlier this year and I saw how hard he worked at his job. All the people he helped his dedication and the impact he had on so many were clear at his funeral, with over a thousand people there and thousands more watching online. Seeing him like that made me rethink my own life.
If I’m going to spend 40 years in a job I dislike, what’s the point? Life should offer more than that. That’s why I plan to start my own business as soon as I finish school-so I can build something meaningful that reflects who I am. Thank you for sharing that video.
You are not alone. I have traveled and believed in a path very similar to yours. The health care "hierarchy" in this country makes it practically impossible for any caring person, whether you are the provider or the patient, to avoid becoming a zombie. There is NO DOUBT in my mind that you will find a caring and healthy way to make life better for as many people as you can, including yourself. I got on the right path for me at age 60. Kudos to you for changing your path before it is too late. If you care, you are making life better for many people, including yourself.💞
As a Newly graduated Medical Doctor from Dominican Republic I think you are so brave to say these things about residency. I'm actually studying for the steps but I think you'll do great in life. We should do the things that make us feel great. It's not the end Dr. Zach! YOU GO!
The most shocking video of all time. You are the best medtuber I've ever seen. Your content is way better than any medical channel on RUclips. I wish you all the best man
Most shocking indeed
I’m not a doctor but I’m in the medical field. I’m a single mom of twins, working full time at a hospital trying to get my BCEMP and you inspired me to love learning!! I’m so happy you found your why!!! Sending love from California.
Sending love back! Thank you!
Zach, I want to start by saying that you have been a big inspiration to me. When I read this title, I honestly expected to be dissappointed. I wasn't. I am hurt, I think in the sense that I can feel your pain and frustration. But also, it is amazing to me that you have the ability to have this perspective and self-awareness despite all of the pressure to continue. Making this decision, the right decision for you, when everything and everyone tells you otherwise is so profoundly brave. So, again, I find myself inspired by you. I wish you nothing but the best, Dr. Zach!
I left nursing in UK
I lasted 20 years but standards and bullying were dreadful . Documentation became so prominent not to help patients but because of the litigation culture
Better times came but I had to grieve the loss .
Then got a job flying all over the world and my skills were used and crew kind and compassionate and was able to raise sepsis awareness there
I will never forget the wonderful for patients I met ❤
You will be ok
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I had a similar experience, I finished medical school in my country in Europe (6 years), which allows to practice general medicine, but then decided to leave after starting residency. Or rather, my body/mind decided for me, as I had become an empty walking shell of myself and fell into anorexia/depression and became completely burned out. I wish I had more clarity to make the decision on my own, rather than just failing to have the strength to continue. I was very fortunate to go into a PhD program, and I am now doing cancer research, more as a molecular biologist, although I still have a personal private practice on the side. I feel research is actually a good path for those who aim to understand diseases and change treatment with a higher impact - this is not really what most clinicians could do, even if they wanted to, as they are drowned by the day to day. Not everything is rosy in research, it's hard to find a path in Academia, half of the time is spent on writing grant applications or doing menial tasks instead of having the luxury to think about the data, salary is probably 20% of what an MD makes in the U.S. (still higher than in Europe lol), but at least it has the "potential" of being really meaningful. In my clinical rotations, I did not feel this potential, I could not even help individual patients due to lack of resources. I have never seen your channel before, but I wish you find your place in life, in whatever you decide to do next :)
Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for sharing, Zach. I have awesome respect for you. I'm retired. I was a "zombie" virtually my entire career as a hospital administrator. Where did it get me? Depression, anxiety, insomnia, two divorces, estrangement from my kids --- multiple suicide attempts.
As I said, I'm retired now. I'm healthier emotionally, psychologically, and physically. But, at age 67, I wasted decades of my life ---
years that I'll never get back.
Send you a huge verbal hug, don't give up on you. Thinks will be okay. Maybe sounds stupid, but think about yin yoga...
Thank you for sharing your story. would you ever recommend a young man like me finish undergrad in psychology and chemistry with zero debt to go into medicine as a career?
@@bennelson6735Nope. If I could do it all over again, I would never set foot into healthcare. I want to leave now. So bad.
Wow, thank you for sharing your story. I am glad you are doing well now!
Good quote by Alan Watts:
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
@@TatErm-tb8fb Thanks. I'm doing well now.
Zach,
I don’t want to sit here and tell you how brave or bold your decision is. Nor do I want to tell you how smart or, on the other hand, how reckless it might seem. Honestly, that’s not my place, and I imagine plenty of people around you are already doing exactly that. What I really want to share with you is something else entirely, something that might require me to take a little detour from the usual line of thought. Let me start by introducing myself: I’m an 18-year-old student from Germany. My academic record is solid, good enough that I’ve been able to participate in various academic programs alongside some of the brightest minds. And although I’m not a medical student like you were, I’ve found myself relating deeply to the way you described your experience. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been telling everyone around me that I’m going to study medicine. It was just this path that made sense. People see it as a profession for the elite, something that only the best of the best can pursue. And since I always thought of myself as someone who belonged in that category, it felt like medicine was my inevitable future. That’s what everyone expected of me. And it’s what I expected of myself. But recently, something shifted. I’ve started to doubt whether medicine is truly what I want to do. I’ve started to question if it's really my calling, or if I’ve just been going along with this plan because it seemed like the logical next step. In short, I’ve been feeling lost, much like how you described your own sense of uncertainty. The truth is, I have no idea what to do next. I don’t have a clear direction. And here's the thing: your video didn’t magically provide me with a roadmap or a detailed plan for the future. It didn’t offer some concrete opportunity or a set of instructions for how to move forward. But in a way, it gave me something even more valuable than that. Your words reminded me of something crucial: I don’t have to follow a path just because it seems like the most prestigious or because it’s what people expect of me. I dn’t have to live up to some imagined standard of success that others have for me, or even one I’ve set for myself. You made me realize that doing what you “have to” do or what others think you should do won’t work in the long run, at least not if you want to feel fulfilled or like you’re doing something that truly matters. Now, I understand that whatever I choose to do, it has to be something that not only sounds right but feels right. It has to be something that I can fully commit to, something that will be worth all the effort and struggles that inevitably come with pursuing any path. It has to be worth the squeeze, so to speak. So, Zach, I just want to thank you. Thank you for sharing your experience and your perspective. You’ve given me something that would’ve otherwise taken me who knows how long-hours, days, months, maybe even years-to figure out on my own. You didn’t tell me exactly what I wanted to hear, but you told me what I needed to hear. And for that, I’m grateful. Thank you for the insight, for the clarity, and for the courage to question the direction I thought I had to follow. Your message was more than just a story about your own life; it was a nudge for me to think harder about mine.
Sincerely, An 18-year-old figuring it out too.
Amazing introspection and writing, and at 18?!? You will do great things.
My only piece of advice is to keep putting yourself out there. Try the scary things. Listen to the people you care about, but don’t set yourself on fire to keep them warm.
Keep me updated on your journey, would love to hear more: zach@zhighley.com
Hey, I usually never comment but what you said really resonated with me. I'm Italian and currently studying energy engineering. When I was 19 I chose to study engineering because it seemed like it was the right and only choice (alongside medicine), given my high grades and school record. Now at 24 I'm stuck in a bachelor degree I don't like, in classrooms full of super smart people and getting bad grades at my exams. This whole situation makes me frustrated and unsatisfied. After the first year I wanted to do something else because I already knew at that time that this path wasn't the right one, but my family convinced me to keep going. Now I regret the choice I made in high school and the fact that I didn't fight to change degree after that first year. So the advice I can give you is to really really think about what you like, because if you are passionate about something and you're smart (and I think you are based on what you wrote) you're going to be very good at whatever field of studies you're going to pursue. Don't choose your future based on perceived prestige or friends and family expectations.
And if at some point you realize you're not happy or satisfied and you would rather do something else: be brave and make the change because the life is yours and no one else's.
I don't know if this can be helpful, Zach has already said everything and he's been braver than me, but I hope we can create an environment where people that are smart don't feel forced to choose a path that is considered more "prestigious" in spite of their desires. :)
@@federicoardissone Thank you so much for sharing this with me! It really makes a big difference for me. I truly appreciate it.
@@ZachHighley
Thank you so much for the kind words and advice! I'll keep you posted on my progress!
Best regards ✌️
Thank goodness that you had your family’s support. If you’re talking student loans, you wouldn’t have the luxury of changing careers. That’s many doc’s stories, which is sad; if they come to the reckoning that you have, they’re stuck. Maybe that’s a big part of our current physician/medical care crisis.
Thank you Dr. Zach i gave 30 years of my life to a hospital being a Tech and there was a bright young man who took his life because of being in medical school no JOB is worth your LIFE God will help you find a way please please keep making videos like this because i miss the man who took his life you told me what he went through thank so much 😢❤
youtubes algorithm is usually very bizarre but sometimes, just sometimes, a video appears on my homepage, like this one, that sounds intriguing and my curiosity says let's watch a couple minutes and man, a couple minutes was all it took for me to get hooked in to your story. you are an incredible storyteller. I am only half way through but I could listen to you tell the story of your life for another 5 hours. truly compelling. the vulnerability, the relatability - and im not even in the medical field. but I sure do know the sunk cost fallacy after spending my whole childhood dreaming of a career, and then 10 years of my adult life trying to make that career work because - how embarrassing would that be to quit / what a waste of my family's money / what even is my identity outside of this career path, etc. If there was any silver lining to the pandemic, it's that it became a wake up call to a lotttt of people, myself included. It gave me the moment alone away from all the noise to really listen to what my gut was saying. that I was incredibly lost and unhappy. and so I quit, and started back at square one starting a new career, which fulfills me now more than my past career ever did. I guess this just goes to show that we may all think we walk in incredibly different shoes, and rightfully so, but the feelings of letting go of a dream that has defined your identity and the sadness that accompanies it, followed by relief, probably feels very very similar to each other. I have never commented such a huge comment on any single youtube, let alone someone I just stumbled upon but this was worth the watch and it struck a chord.
I’m a first year pathology resident and some days I love what I get to do and some days I’m wondering what side career I can build that will allow me to distance myself from medicine. I chose pathology ultimately because I don’t like, or believe in, the healthcare system and felt I was too far in to quit (I have basically no other skills lol). So I chose a specialty that allowed me to be in a diagnostic role rather than a role that “treated/healed” patients- although the idea that we really heal anybody is tenuous. It takes courage to do what you’ve done! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your story! Interesting perspective, best of luck!
"although the idea that we really heal anybody is tenuous" - This is my problem with modern medicine. It seems apart from emergencies the rest is just an illusion.
Don't worry brother, I was also at medical school and left after seeing how they're treated in the hospitals. Much love!!
'To thine own self be true'. I envy the insight you have into your needs and aspirations. I too left medicine - more than three years after graduating. For me, it was the wrong decision. Having done a 6 year MBBS in Australia, I had no undergrad to fall back on. No other employer really cares if you have a medical degree or not. I now work in IT. I hate it. I would go back to med in a heartbeat, but I will never be able to return. Am still dealing with the fallout. Thank you for your honesty. You have made the right choice for yourself, and are an inspiration to others who find themselves doing a job that does not give them a sense of fulfilment and achievement. I wish you ever success!
I made it to the end and it was worth it. Kudos Zach for sharing what it means to be self aware and courageous enough to do what you needed to do to be the best YOU! Best wishes for your future. Excited to see where the road takes you next!
Hi Zach! I've been watching your videos since COVID (I was in my 3rd year of medical school). I really feel your emotions and understand what you’re dealing with now because I’m going through similar situations. I tried to grow multiple RUclips channels to help others and to distract myself from the stress I was facing. Several times, I thought about leaving this field all at once and start a business and pursuing what I love, but I couldn’t, as my family depends on me, and being a doctor is the only way to escape poverty. Keep it up, Zach! you’re such an incredible person! Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Zach, I never comment on youtube videos, ever. But I want to you to know this.
I got into medical school 2 years after you did and you were like that older brother who taught younger siblings how to get through life. You taught me how to apply, how to study for pre-clinicals, and even setting up my anki. Your mentorship through your videos were invaluable to my journey as a soon-to-be-physician and I'm not sure how I would've gone through it without you and your videos.
I support your decision and I'm excited where you'll go next. You don't have to be a physician treating patients to make an impact. You made a big impact already and you should be proud of that. I hope you find that juice that is worth squeezing. Please update us with your journey.
Thank you again.
You are worthy of a great life and I hope you will never have too many regrets or none at all. It takes courage and you have it. I Am a
Doctor of Fine Arts and I relate greatly in Academia with the other 95% of reasons for not continuing . Good luck and find your bliss as Joseph Campbell once said. ❤
Thank you. I started medical school following your Anki videos and used your story as motivation. I am truly appreciative you sharing your story and being honest. I'm an MS3 and think about quitting EVERYDAY. NO ONE will know how challenging medical school is, and the toll in takes on you physically and mentally. But I hope you're happy with your decision and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Thank you so much!
I have no idea who you are but this was recommended to me. I am waiting to hear back from medical schools this cycle. I listened to the entire thing. No skips. 1X speed. Thank you for sharing your story. I will still go into medicine knowing full well the system needs help but there are people who are just like you who stayed in the profession to make it better. I am sorry this profession lost you and I am hoping you heal properly to contribute to the world exactly the way you want to. 💙
Thank you for having the courage to speak up in such an eloquent way. I haven’t finished watching this yet, but look forward to hearing the rest of your very truthful and heartfelt story. As someone who is not in the medical field, but as a patient have had my life and different parts of my body saved multiple times by doctors, nurses etc., I really dislike and question the way our medical systems and insurance companies treat doctors. The human race can do better for each other and the planet, each of us can do better for the people and environments we come into contact with. More love, kindness, forgiveness and compassion is the answer (thank you John and Yoko).
They're not right zack. I just finished medical school and since the past 5 years i have always felt that the real change us doctors make is very miniscule. It's glorified by the world but in reality, researchers, pharmacologists.. these people are the ones making a real difference.
I truly believe you made the right decision at the right time and saved yourself. I'm too much of a coward, Scared of judgement from my family and friends. Plus, Medicine has wiped away any other hobbies, motivations or dreams that i had so i have no idea where to go if i leave medicine now.
You are a brave man and i am proud of you
100% agree about the researchers and pharmacologists part. I think the people who make the real difference are the people who invent to new techniques, new procedures, surgical techniques, medications and engineer the things that doctors use.
A difficult decision indeed, wishing you the best!
52:52
As someone who was thinking of med school and decided to do something else, it was the best decision I ever made. I think that constant comparing yourself to others stunts your personal growth so tremendously and reinforces such unhealthy habits, and I'm so glad I've steered myself in a different direction. I'm much happier 🙂 I'm glad you made the right decision for you, I applaud your courage.
Thanks for sharing!
What did you choose instead of med school? I'm glad you are happy!
@@kristenturner1222 nothing's perfect and life still has its ups and downs for sure, but overall I feel more satisfied. I chose to do a PhD in biology.
Hi Zach, I just watched your video and channel for the first time. Yes, I watched the whole thing and all I can say is undoubtably each individual (YOU) must be happy, and, that being true, you got out in time for ‘you’. But still, WOW. BUT, you’re still a doctor and you will always be. Proud of you man.
Watching this video was very healing for me. I made the decision not to go to medical school while i was in the midst of the application process. This was after working in hospitals and clinics and witnessing a lot of the negative aspects of the medical system. I was treated so badly by my parents and others for making this decision that I really questioned myself for a long time. But as time goes on, I really feel that I made the right decision for me. Stories like yours really help! Now i have found a new career path that combines my creativity with my desire to help people and I am very excited to pursue that
That's so brave of you to choose your happiness, yourself before anything else. Thank you for sharing this story, I am so related to it. Just like people always say don't give up on something, leaving something that you hold onto for such a long long time is hard af. It's heavy, shattered yourself into pieces. But I am so happy for you that you choose to not let it held you any longer. The thing that you thought would be best for you sometimes can destroy you. People might not understand your decision, but trust me, they are not supposed to get it. I hope you will give yourself enough time, enough space for your new chapter. Stay healthy, stay safe!
That’s a bummer. I first saw you about 3-4 years ago when I was starting med school and trying to learn Anki, and now I’m currently interviewing for residency. Good luck in this next stage man.
I couldn't help but leave an early comment lol i'll be back to watch the whole thing .
GL man ! The Anki streets will never forget .
Anki4lyfe
@@ZachHighley u the man homie
Sending regards from Algeria 🇩🇿
Bro, I never commented here, but I feel you. I am entering my last study year here in europe(netherlands) and tbh I am considering more and more to not persue a clinical carreer and do other things with my degree. thanks for speaking about the reality of being a doctor or med student. I hope you keep us a bit updated on your new path and also maybe drop a cheeky little video about alternative jobs or carreers with a medical degree ;)
Niet stoppen maat
How difficult is it to match into residency in the netherlands as a student from the middle east
@@boopboop9009 depends really if you studied here and your language skills and research plays sadly still a crucial role.
Congrats! I dated a zombie internist with two phones, a pager, Sunday rounds, calls from hospital at all hours-he’s a wonderful person. I ended the relationship. The sacrifice of lifestyle due to his profession and the realization that his schedule would never change was not a way I wanted to live. Being honest with yourself is far more commendable than wearing that long white coat. Find what you enjoy doing and do it!
Once he becomes more senior, his life would have stabilised and his income and quality of life would improve immensely. His hours would be far more regular. This intense period only lasts for a short while, consider it a temporary rite of passage.
Dr. Zach, you've got such an emotive and expressive way of telling the story, I watched all the way and felt the emotions through the screen!
Thanks for verbalizing your feelings so clearly, it made me feel validated in how frantic and full of frenzy the pre-med path felt for me. I also had my first panic attack on this same journey; during the MCAT studies... For me continuing to pursue the medical field felt like building up a golden cage and locking myself in it with my own hands😅😅 highly prestigious and rightfully respected field but the sacrifice is so great it takes a lot from you, your life, and your loved ones. I had to forgo making that sacrifice for the sake of my health and sanity...
Best of luck with your next chapter, it sounds like you're on the cusp of something healing and exciting! :)
I have followed you for several years. I would not throw all the effort and learning away. I would do something in the medical field. An MD can allow you do to many things that are not clinical. (I retired from medicine last year after 40 years of practice.)
Alternatively, you can take a year off and do a less stressful residency. You can always adjust your hours afterward and work 2 or 3 days a week. There are many options. You are burned out. Give yourself a break. You are very smart, and you just need a break. Best of luck!
Thank you! Who knows what the future will hold!
What are the less stressful specialties, please?
Wow. I was just watching your videos as a medical student in order to gauge what life is like as a student, as I hope to become one in 2025.
I honestly did not expect this, but I applaud you tremendously for having the courage to carry out this decision. I know a lot of people wouldn't be able to say the same, even though they want out just as badly.
Good Luck in this new chapter of yours Zach. I have no doubt you'll exceed in whatever endeavor you pursue.
As a dentist, I can tell you many people in medicine feel crushed from their overwhelming debt, lack of appreciation from patients, and fighting with insurance companies/horrible compensation compared to our expertise and lengthy schooling. In turn, it is exhausting having to explain to patients why you are choosing a more costly option for treatment that is better in the long term rather than "just do what my insurance covers." Most people went into medicine/dental/pharmacy/nursing yo improve the lives of our patients...but all of the additional stuff just adds on to the stress.
agreed
How does dentistry compare to medicine in this aspect?
Fourth year med student here. I remember watching your videos when I was first getting started trying to figure out how to study, and this video popped up on my suggested videos today. I initially wanted to pursue primary care and walked away from it for very similar reasons to what you described in your experiences. Happy for you and excited to see what you do next.
Hi Zak, just want to say that yes I did watch the hour long video all the way through. Your advice and story is invaluable. ❤
I started watching your videos to get studying advice. I went back to school mid-life because I hated my very enviable job in the entertainment industry and had to gain new skills to do something else. Just recently, I quit my job despite still having 2 years left to complete my degree because I simply could not keep going. My family and friends questioned my sanity doing this. I only wanted to say that watching all the videos on studying on YT, made me wish I had the time and energy to pursue medicine as a career. Maybe it's different when actually practicing medicine, but from an outsider's perspective, it's at least making a difference. I spent 30 years stressing over entertainment industry non-sense that truly did not matter but it became my life. I have nothing but regret for those wasted 30 years. At least you realized you were on the wrong path early on and not decades later. I hope you can apply what you've learned studying medicine all these years to a career that you enjoy and that can in fact make a difference.
Thank you for the words of wisdom!
Honesty and courage. Not just about the system you discovered to be so broken and minimally impactful on health but about the extreme compromises for you and the sad fact that staying in because of the sunk cost (which was almost incalculable) was not enough reason to drop your dream of having a meaningful and happy life. I just got out of the hospital after emergency laparoscopic surgery (which saved my life) but I didn't see many happy people working there - they all seemed defeated and spiritually ill and I rarely felt anyone really cared about my suffering. I know deep down they do care but it seems the system overwhelms them, burns them out, or otherwise ties their hands. The hospital always makes me feel sick, even when visiting others, and I cannot wait to be out of there and hope to never come back. The thought that I will end up there in my last days or in a "home" is terrifying. I went through the whole process with both parents and my dear aunt and finally with my best friend who died too young from esophageal cancer. My GF is a retired hospice nurse and we gave them much better care - all in all - with home hospice. It was at least full of love and caring attention.
Sorry to hear about what happened. Wishing you the best.
I was worried at the beginning of the video, but at the end... I know you got it. To next adventure. Cheers from Brazil.
Thanks for the vid~ I'm a nurse here- was initially along the ride for anki tutorials and study with me vids- then here to see how med students/residents make it through- and now here because I know how freaking rough healthcare is but the school/science of it all is fascinating and so worth while.... something in me resonates so much with this- despite the vast difference in training and hours on the job and liability- your thought process and feelings surrounding healthcare/patient care/medicine are remarkably similar. Best of luck in forging your own path forward. You made a successful path with RUclips so we already know you can establish yourself and help people in non clinical realms!
Hey check my pinned comment, but I still think medicine is a great place to be, it just wasn't for me. Thanks for watching!