okay I keep on getting confused whenever I see someone say toys and then bellesa b/c I'm mixing it up with the plush company bellzi (which makes REALLY soft plushes). I'm like huh I want a free plush.... then realize... no, that's not what this is. this is the second time this has happened to me with bellsa LOL
as an aroace person, your frustrations about barely seeing your friends post-grad is so real T_T like who else am i gonna hang out with? my stuffed giraffe? frequenting third places sounds like a great idea though, i should definitely incorporate that into my life!
Bro, what does being aroace have to do with it? Like, I'm bisexual with a really high sex drive and I have the same frustrations and it's not even for sexual reasons. Seriously why do people begin their comments with "as a an indigenous Chinese-speaking bisexual ADHD person who grew up in the Deep South with autism and struggling parents, my tummy hurts"
My mother started her own business as a tutor (which later became an EMPRIE lool) but my dad's mum would kinda... she didn't really understand what it was and didn't consider it a real job. She would make these comments (that some would say were snide) that were really dismissive but it came from a place of just pure lack of understanding. Even though she brought it more money than my dad! I think, when it comes to family, sometimes they just won't get it. And thats okay!
I also hate how our society kinda forces us to prioritize romantic love above all else. We work so much and so long that there is no other choice but to choose and rank how we want to spend our time between careers, family, partners and friends. Often times when we run out of time, we end up cutting off friends from that list even though having platonic connections are so important
Post-grad stress is so real... I'm also a graduating senior about to head into the workforce and start a new chapter in life, and it's so so scary to take those steps. All of us are in this together, and I always try to remind myself that like, we're LITERALLY BARELY IN OUR 20S!! There is so much out there in life and who the hell knows what will happen in even a year's time! And if at first we don't fulfill our expectations, there's still time to take those steps outwards and to change and grow. Sending you all the love
so true! wish I had been easier on myself in my 20's because boy did life happen! I'm now 30 with two kids, broke up with my partner, got into a new career path and going back to school after having graduated and worked within my field of study 5 years ago. Never know what's going to happen so better to enjoy the journey and whatever it may bring. 😁
yep, nearly every millenial/gen xer/person that's 30+ that I've talked to about this has expressed how baffled they are at gen z's insane ambition+anxiety, and our tendency to start our midlife crises at like.. 22 lmao. I'm also trying not to obsess too hard about getting everything set in stone and settled and perfect in my early 20s, and more trying to shift my mindset into a sense of "looking forward to," to revel in that sense of potential for a bit. Still really sucks tho cause I want to find a permanent job and place so I can get a dog like RIGHT NOW!! and I need money ㅠㅠ
The dating part hit so hard... as a queer non-binary person with lots of feminine features, the idea of dating is also something I'm really struggling with. It's so much harder to exist in relation to someone else.
the job market nowadays is- i dont even know what to say about it anymore. skill, degree, and experience doesnt even matter anymore. its all connection and reference. i know people who have absolutely no clue what they're doing, yet get accepted to middle manager positions JUST CUZ they know someone in that company. sigh its hard being gen z
Yo that part about maintaining friendships in a world that prioritises romantic love is so real. I got out of a 5 year relationship a couple of years ago, and while its been really great for me to learn to be okay being single, I'm constantly worried that all my friends are getting married and that seems to have less and less time just being around friends. Edits: typos
OH MY GOD!!! YOU GET IT!!! Im non binary too and I've had a few partners I've ended up breaking things off with because I felt like they were with me for my body and how I was perceived versus who I actually am. my current partner is also exploring his gender expression and he's the first person I truly feel like ME with. I hope you find someone one day that sees you in your full non-binary glory!!
i think the whole struggle of trying to hold on to platonic relationships in a world of romantic love is so hard but so very important. it's v e r y frustrating at times, as someone who js aroace, trying to make people understand that love exists beyond romance and all. also rhe fear of being perceived as fem by my friends and partners is so real as a non binary person
bro adjusting to post-grad has definitely been an emotional rollercoaster. it took me 7 months but i finally got a job 😭 i'm learning just to enjoy every moment with my family and go with the flow because life is truly crazy atm
i can't believe i teared up towards the end there but omg i am so proud of you, it feels like yesterday that we watched you graduate from high school! thank you for sharing your post-grad thoughts, i relate to so much of what you said
I felt the part where you discussed insecurity surrounding how your partner perceives you. I am pansexual and non-binary as well and it has one of the first thoughts that I have when I talk to someone new, especially since I am fem presenting.
I relate to this situation so much. My friends graduated around 2 years before I did. I changed majors (they were in political science and I switched to a law bachelors) and had to basically redo my undergrad. Most of them have steady partners and live together with them, have stable and long term jobs and it is really hard to meet them. Simply because they have very limited time left and when they have time they spend it with their partners or family. And you, as a friend, not topping that priority. It is a big commitment to choose a friend over the people who live with you. We are also kind of in different places in life. I am starting out and they are already on the path to steady jobs and homes. It is so mentally draining.
this whole time i felt like i was on a facetime w you. for some reason listening about your post grad anxiety gave me comfort. like i'm not the only one dealing w this. thank you💗
I'm also non-binary and pansexual and had a hard time coming out to my straight partner, but he accepted me fully and didn't get caught up on his label. He actively affirms my gender in any space we enter even when my own family doesn't affirm me. I totally get how you feel and you will find someone who accepts all of you. Besides that, I vibe with literally all of the hurricane and messy emotions you are feeling. It's the same and we're all headless chickens running around.
I'm in the same post-grad boat and ohhhh man it is so hard in this market to find a job, I keep feeling like my degree is useless 😭 but I am learning how to stay positive and keep on trying 💪 we all out here struggling together and that's what keeps me going
i graduated last summer and im still dealing with so much of what your saying!!!! the loss of community that university provides was something that hit me really hard, friends are sooo everything and its hard to imagine the rest of life not having friends within walking distance AND having to work forever!!!! its so crazy being in your early 20s
as someone who dropped out of bc of illnesses, i really feel the crisis 🙃 i think relationships ultimately ebb and flow. i've been loving hitomi mochizuki's videos and her portrayal + experience with building relationships/community. it's become a big priority for me to prioritize all relationships rather than the one kind that we're fed by institutions/society. that doesn't mean i don't want a romantic partner but the fact that i can still create that love within myself and others. it's lowkey weird to me how friendships/family are devalued when they truly sustain us. i think as you change and evolve, so will your relationships! but that doesn’t mean you still can't hang iut and connect whether online or in person. you never walk alone
this. when i graduated 2 years ago, i left feeling so lost - i eventually went back to school because i had no idea what i was doing, but it led to me being depressed out of my mind. feeling everything you're feeling here as a fellow creator. sometimes, it feels so shambly and out of place with juggling work, school, content - but you're doing great.
Oh i had a very similar talk with my mother about prioritizing a stable career and not going to art school first. She encourages me to go study theater when i finish my current degree thought.
being in an asian family and being a d1 yapper is SO REAL !! i dont even speak to majority of the asian half of my family anymore; but whenever my parents come home with more tea about the family tree i happily listen.
this isnt related but man, i remember watching your vids when you were in highschool senior while I was a freshman haha. crazy how im an undergrad student in college now, and youre a post grad student! thanks for all the laughs and love, linh! youre a super cool girl, keep it up, love ya! :)
I am living it right now (graduated uni end of 2023). I don’t have a job related to my degree yet, and I don’t think I will any time soon. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life, I’m so incredibly stressed about finances, I don’t have any friends, the list goes on… I’m feeling more lost than I ever have before, and my (granted, pre-existing) mental illnesses have become more debilitating than ever 🙁
Listening to Linh makes me realize that education really is powerful. I know and believe that she's smart, but she's also opinionated and has coherent thoughts that make sense. I watch a another youtuber who also shares a lot of musings (and rants) about life and living alone, and a commenter once pointed out that if only that person has other people to bounce off their thoughts with, that person would have a better understanding of life, so basically saying that that person could benefit off schooling. And now listening to Linh, I finally understood that commenter haha
I'm an older viet-american and the entirety of school was the forced doctor/lawyer/"useful degree"' path, which failed miserably and now that I'm older my mom tried to tell me to pursue art and it feels like the biggest punch to the stomach.
I'm in the same boat, but I'm still in school. I have thoughts of switching all the time, but the fear of not being financially stable scares me 😵💫 Since you've been there, do you have any advice on how to navigate?
@@reallyadawn4869 honestly, I struggled a lot with finances because mental health made it hard for me to work, so I understand that fear. I would say try to find the best balance of what you want and what pays the bills, you can still pursue art with a non-art degree. As long as you keep a good relationship with your passion for art, you will find a way to make it work for you. There are many artists that used to be corporate or medical. Try to be open-minded on the changes and like, gentle with yourself. It won't be the end of the world if you work on a nonart degree, what will hurt the most is losing your passion or desire for art. On paper non-art degrees look better, but your degree =/= the job you pursue. Or fuck it, double major. I had an archeology professor who minored in theatre. Markiplier has an engineering degree, Garbo Zhu/Grumpy Kid Studio graduated with an architect degree. This is very much like rambling and the same thing worded differently 3 times, but it's things I try to tell myself to keep going
@@reallyadawn4869 I HAD THIS LONG REPLY TYPED OUT, but TLDR: Your degree is just a piece of paper and your classes help give you a head start, at the end of the day you and your passion are what determine what you do. There is no harm in staying in your major to have a nice degree on paper for work. Money is the easiest way to lose hope and focus in life, but learning frugality and ways to save help out ( beans, rice, cabbage n eggs bby ) There is also like, no issue with double majoring, there is no rule that your minor or second major has to be related. I had an archeology professor with a double major in THEATRE. But yeah, try to keep your passion for creating; your degree in something non-art isn't a "Hey you can't do art for work anymore". Remember, grumpy kid studio's garbo zhu majored in architect, markiplier has an engineering major. You define what your work will be.
as someone who has been single for 10 yrs and has their first legit potentially good date TONIGHT this hit home. I want love and that forever best friend but the rest of me is very happy being alone because i love my own company and not having to consider another human outside of my core friends and core family. It's alot and i'm very stressed but also we have to find out and see what happens.....shit is scary guys.
This rambling is beautiful!! I saw a couple of your videos a few years ago and it's crazy how clearly you've grown. I can hear in the way you speak how learning has shifted the way you think, super smart, informed and empathetic. I feel much less alone in my postgrad spiral!!
hey started watching/listening to your videos recently. really like the content coming from someone who also has a bachelors in sociology. definitely have had similar issues in post grad life since getting my degree in 2023. can relate a lot to your struggles in terms of sexuality, staying connected with friends, and general every day life.
full circle moment when I remembered watching u when u were in 12th grade almost into college and I was still in middle school to now u graduating and I just started going to college.. u're a real inspiration linh!! I long for the same dedication and passion that u have ♥️
Graduating this July 2024 and rn I’m incredibly stressed out about what’s next. Post grad crisis is real and I keep putting things off my mind because there’s so much going in my head once I start thinking about the future. It’s like I wanna study for my board exam but my parent wanted me to work first. Plus the pressure of being one of the top performing students hence it’s expected of you to take that licensure exam and pass (not to mention it’s one of the hardest in my country with low passing rate). Now I’m always in my phone, just scrolling and thinking that I’d get tired of this too. July is fast approaching hence I really need to think things through, but hey one thought at a time!
I have that same issue because as someone who presents as fem, cis men disregard my non-binary label altogether. It’s so disheartening because most men ( not my friends or past partners I’ve had ) will never see me as me but just a body to obtain.
Dear Linh; as a random faceless viewer on the internet can I simply say that is okay to not want to share things about your personal life or your career with people, random people, old friends, new friends, family. Yeah, it could mean that you're scared about what they'll think but I also like to think that we can choose our battles in order to protect ourselves. So, ask yourself, how would the situation change if you explain detail by detail to this extended family your career and life? Would it be better? Worse? Or would it be the same? At the end of the day would the way you feel about it even change? It can be difficult to let go of the way the world and societies look at you, expect you to behave or to be base on the boxes they place you at. The most important thing is that your choices bring you happiness and that your content with your life and that you love it. You probably know this, but sometimes is nice to hear it from a stranger.
this video was so so needed. i graduated a semester early last year and got a temp job pretty soon after so my post-grad feelings were delayed bc most of my friends hadn't graduated yet and i had a job to keep me occupied. now that that job is over and im unemployed while all my friends are working, the post grad crisis is creeping up on me. thank you for this.
linh just keeps spitting TRUTHS!! i was always the bullied kid in middle school and highschool, so i never really had friends (and the friends i did have i'm not in contact with anymore) so i basically only have my bf :,) if anyone has any tips on making friends (im 20 now) pleaaaase lmk
I love that you talk about things that people are too scared to talk about. Being open about your life really helps me and other people feel more understood and is nice to relate to someone else.
i relate to this so hard with my media studies major fr like the way i view the world and capitalism and how we organize ourselves as humans is so different than before college and im so thankful
WOOOO 2024!!! This video was honestly so refreshing, graduation is right around the corner and I'm both excited and have a daunting feeling for what comes after. Either way tho, I will find happiness >:D
Let me tell ya one great thing about post-grad is that it is possible to keep up with your college friends. My main friend group now is made up mostly of people I've continued to be around who I met in college! So there's hope! :)
so excited to be this early! i love listening to your life updates and admire how you can express your vulnerabilities and intimate self! take care and much love
Fellow post-grad here! The transition from college life to adult life and starting a new job presented a lot of challenges and stress that I really wasn't prepared for. I've been sick EIGHT times since September, some times were from pure stress and other times from starting to work a lot with little kids. I'm finally feeling more settled in my life, but also feeling some pressure to go back to school to get a master's. I'm a freelance musician/music teacher so having a master's could give me an edge and offer me better opportunities (like having an actual salaried job with benefits lol). I know it's the right step for my career, but the thought of going back to school and moving again kind of freaks me out. I just want to settle down somewhere, but I have a long way to go. Thinking about the future is scary and uncomfortable :/ you're not alone.
The talk about marriage and relationships is so real. As an asexual and possibly aromantic person, it’s so hard to detach myself from the idea that I have to be in a relationship to be fulfilled. Friendship can be just as fulfilling as romantic relationships (or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself).
I understand you so deeply about the viet aunties and uncles using snowball effect to create these crazy collateral damages :) I was in the exact same situation for the past year and now I had to cut them off (not burn the bridges completely but i locked the gates on the bridges). I hope you know that sometimes they DO NOT have the rights to hurt you or your family like that. It's absolutely not your family nor your fault. I strongly believe it's because they did not know any better than that ;)
I normally never comment but I have to say this video came at the right time and spoke to my heart. I'm at a similar point in my life right now, as I'm also graduating from sociology this year and yes the post-grad crisis is hitting hard these days... To figure out how you want your life (work, relationships and love) to look like after leaving the "safe place" of university is pretty scary!
the point you made about how valuable the knowledge you acquired from studying sociology is, how it could never be taken away from you and de-valued was extremely important. whatever worth the market assigns to your field of study is irrelevant; knowledge is valuable and transforming regardless of how much the paycheck attached to it is
i understand the hating dating apps thing SO MUCH. i'm on hinge rn and it gives me so much anxiety tbh. it does feel weird being perceived through an app based on very superficial things like photos and basic facts, i am such an old soul in that way. also, post-grad can be scary but it will all work out in the end! trust your gut with jobs and relocating and you will end up where you need to be
I went about 7-8 years from my last relationship to my current one, and my experience in the dating app/dating sphere as a queer person totally resonated with how you feel about being perceived as your whole self! I decided that I wanted to prioritize the same things you mentioned (love & relationships as a choice, a queer-coded relationship vs a straight-coded one in terms of behavior and attitudes) and despite the stress and loneliness til now, I wouldn't do anything different. Also, I've found that everything is cyclical and eventually you renew connections with people who were off in their relationships/personal life for a while. People miss you too! It's gonna work out, I think you have really good focuses for the near future!
I loved the conversation on this video... I'm from brazil so the relationship (all of them) may have a different aspect but after I finished college and started working I still see and casually hang out with my friends from college (even from high school) quite often. Yes sometimes a friend will be living in a different country or city, another one will be married already or just traveling around the world. But I don't know, we just have conversations about our lifes and struggles, and we still value each other space in our current life - even tough some people you will see idk 2x per year. We are all navigating this new cycle of life and meeting new people as well but when it is a good friendship it will just work - even tough it may be only with a facetime sometimes
tearing up after your vid ahh! Thank you so much for sharing 100% relate to everything you said regarding relationships. I’m graduating at the end of the year so the full on post grad crisis hasn’t hit me yet ( I can feel it brewing though) but I will definitely come back to this vid when it does
i feel like i've been living this post grad crisis since graduating last spring :'D I think it's only been recently that all these kinds of things (expectations, future, job prospects, friendships n so on) have hit me, so it is comforting to here and understand that others are going through the same thing, even if they've graduated recently or are soon to be grads!! I think i've neglected that theres much more that a person can learn even outside of school, now i wanna look into workshops or classes to take avaliable to me :D thank you and best of luck to you!!
i really enjoyed this video!!! i love listening to you ramble honestly, if you had a podcast or something i would listen to it on loop haha. i watched this while deep cleaning my room and it didnt even feel boring anymore :)
I spy the brief and wonderous life of oscar wao on your nightstand... what are your thoughts on it? I read it for a Caribbean body politics class and highkey hated it but I'd be interested to know how you took it?
@@withlovelinh I read it in tandem with Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo (she also wrote Clap When You Land which was popular on booktok) and I loved Poet X so much more. If you decide Junot Diaz isn't for you, check out Elizabeth Acevedo :)
Tbh: I’ve been unemployed in the past semester and I get so stressed about it and well, my mental health hasn’t been the same from January so I try to look up and do what I can to make myself feel better..
I am graduating in three months and these thoughts are haunting me every single day!! Thank you for your video Linh ☺ It's so good to hear that I'm not alone 😮💨
i remember watching your video on school once you started, and now we’re graduating at the same time!! good luck and thanks for this, kind of eased my own post grad anxieties and delusions
the fact i relate to a lot of those feelings when im still in my last year of high school and having no idea of what i want to graduate as but we're gonna be fine linh!! we'll be good
I freaking love your channel. You’re so smart, funny, empathetic and inspiring. And your videos are so well-made and aesthetically beautiful - like it looks like they take 20 hours to edit!❤
as a graduating liberal arts student with no job secured who is terrified about disappointing her parents and herself by being unemployed and feels extremely disillusioned, thank you. this made me feel less alone
ahhhh linh posted!! where u by any chance walking on wilson towards pho 75 with someone holding one of those vietnamese straw hats that look cool as fuck that i forget the name of??? cause i think i passed u but i was running to get back to school on time lmao but i was holding some boba also!! your gender identity is such a vibe (ha. ha.) because i'm nonbinary and dress v v fem and im read as a girl and sdjkahsdakjh
I remember my post-grad struggle, I didn't have any friends in a new country, I couldn't find a proper job for 10 months, I felt so lonely and disconnected, and late to life. I also had a weird relationship that didn't end so well. But around the time of my graduation, I entered an acting school, which literally changed my life. I pursued my passion (which is acting and theatre), found close friends, started attending theatres, museums, movie shoots (as an extra), was invited to play in a theatre by one of my acting professors. I'm still single and a virgin at 25, but with so much good stuff going on in my life, it's just not a priority for me. Some of my friends did try to sleep with me (they're still my friends because I set the boundaries), but I made an active choice not to, because I don't want situationships or friends with benefits. I still want to have a happy family someday, but life has so many other beautiful and important things that even if it doesn't happen, I will still be perfectly happy. I have a job that pays well, good friends, hobbies, passions, and I'm realizing my creative potential, which is so vital to me.
I'm going to play the "old sister" vibe As a 37 years old self employed straight woman, I'm going to say this linh : CHILL THE FUCK OUT XD You have SO MUCH time to figure shit out ! I only started dating at 27 and found my true partner at 35 ! I struggled for acamedic work and ended up being a self employer artist and entrepreneur because I freakin hate having a boss and yes it's a hard route but it's a choice I never regretted and EVEN more so that I would make again specially in my early 20s because that's exactly the right time to figure shit out and try different projects and jobs and figure out your voice and message and contribution to the world. When I gratuaded I barely had social media and youtube was still quite new (2011) then I had no revenues but still found a way out. I struggled with depression and hated my body. You are so so much more equiped thant I ever was at the same age. You have a lot to work with, you have this platform, you have arts and crafts - I discovered you via your little art shop video - so you can just take a breather. You are worried and I was too when I finished my master's degree because it was a whole different world but you have so much to offer the world and you will make new friends as well ! You will get things in order don't worry much, just take it month by month. You got this ;) Also sidenote but why do you want a job outside of social media and such ? you have a big following, you can do art stuff and be a content creator as a full time job ? is there a reason ? do you plan on stopping at some point or is it because you'd like your income do not depend on it ? Best of luck, can't wait to see your future :)
Wow, I didn’t know everyone had similar experiences. I had the exact same thoughts around relationships, friendships, and family, and career but now its been 2 year post-grad, all of these spiraling thoughts and questions will start to resolve itself in a very, calm, natural way. Congratulations to the class of 2024, and be proud of who you have become.
Unless generation Z grows up to become... the right-wing people we have now, I yhink things will become better. You know, in... 15-20 years when wer're in power.
I'm 28 years old who aspires tobe in the music industry, I am single without seeing myself in a serious relationship, I live at home because of the housing crisis and I'm still unemployed despite speaking 4 languages and having just graduated college, I have been actively seeking employement for a year and a half straight with no luck, but I have travelled to see concerts in other European countries, my second one being abroad ten years ago, I feel you with the crisis and feeling in shambles, but we'll see what future we have in store, good luck!
hey linh! I've been a longtime follower from the days before you even moved out for uni and so absolutely adore you and your content. having said this, would you mind putting a little sly disclaimer at the beginning of a video if you happen to discuss mature content? and as always, thanks for a new vid! hope you have a good rest of your week :+)
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wow thank you so much
I love how the Thump looks like a glasses case. No-ones gonna know 😳
Thump is 10/10
okay I keep on getting confused whenever I see someone say toys and then bellesa b/c I'm mixing it up with the plush company bellzi (which makes REALLY soft plushes). I'm like huh I want a free plush.... then realize... no, that's not what this is. this is the second time this has happened to me with bellsa LOL
as an aroace person, your frustrations about barely seeing your friends post-grad is so real T_T like who else am i gonna hang out with? my stuffed giraffe? frequenting third places sounds like a great idea though, i should definitely incorporate that into my life!
aroace... one of us 🦅🦅
@@doitforsoupone of us !
I’m aroace as well!!
Bro, what does being aroace have to do with it? Like, I'm bisexual with a really high sex drive and I have the same frustrations and it's not even for sexual reasons.
Seriously why do people begin their comments with "as a an indigenous Chinese-speaking bisexual ADHD person who grew up in the Deep South with autism and struggling parents, my tummy hurts"
@@meltup3668that’s their experience or life through their lenses it isn’t that deep.
My mother started her own business as a tutor (which later became an EMPRIE lool) but my dad's mum would kinda... she didn't really understand what it was and didn't consider it a real job. She would make these comments (that some would say were snide) that were really dismissive but it came from a place of just pure lack of understanding. Even though she brought it more money than my dad! I think, when it comes to family, sometimes they just won't get it. And thats okay!
Those camera angels were amazing
I also hate how our society kinda forces us to prioritize romantic love above all else. We work so much and so long that there is no other choice but to choose and rank how we want to spend our time between careers, family, partners and friends. Often times when we run out of time, we end up cutting off friends from that list even though having platonic connections are so important
In a world where people are ashamed to openly talk about their feelings I find your videos very comforting! Love your content!
I understand the post grad stress (,: been 1 year for me and it’s still stressful after getting a job 😭 So many things to think about 🤧
yes this is real…there’s so many things up in the air, it’s so tough!
Right here with you!! Keep your head up, we'll get there
Post-grad stress is so real... I'm also a graduating senior about to head into the workforce and start a new chapter in life, and it's so so scary to take those steps. All of us are in this together, and I always try to remind myself that like, we're LITERALLY BARELY IN OUR 20S!! There is so much out there in life and who the hell knows what will happen in even a year's time! And if at first we don't fulfill our expectations, there's still time to take those steps outwards and to change and grow. Sending you all the love
so true! wish I had been easier on myself in my 20's because boy did life happen! I'm now 30 with two kids, broke up with my partner, got into a new career path and going back to school after having graduated and worked within my field of study 5 years ago. Never know what's going to happen so better to enjoy the journey and whatever it may bring. 😁
yep, nearly every millenial/gen xer/person that's 30+ that I've talked to about this has expressed how baffled they are at gen z's insane ambition+anxiety, and our tendency to start our midlife crises at like.. 22 lmao. I'm also trying not to obsess too hard about getting everything set in stone and settled and perfect in my early 20s, and more trying to shift my mindset into a sense of "looking forward to," to revel in that sense of potential for a bit. Still really sucks tho cause I want to find a permanent job and place so I can get a dog like RIGHT NOW!! and I need money ㅠㅠ
The dating part hit so hard... as a queer non-binary person with lots of feminine features, the idea of dating is also something I'm really struggling with. It's so much harder to exist in relation to someone else.
the job market nowadays is- i dont even know what to say about it anymore. skill, degree, and experience doesnt even matter anymore. its all connection and reference.
i know people who have absolutely no clue what they're doing, yet get accepted to middle manager positions JUST CUZ they know someone in that company.
sigh its hard being gen z
don't fret. It's not just a gen z thing. Happens in all generations. It's part of life.
Yo that part about maintaining friendships in a world that prioritises romantic love is so real. I got out of a 5 year relationship a couple of years ago, and while its been really great for me to learn to be okay being single, I'm constantly worried that all my friends are getting married and that seems to have less and less time just being around friends.
Edits: typos
OH MY GOD!!! YOU GET IT!!! Im non binary too and I've had a few partners I've ended up breaking things off with because I felt like they were with me for my body and how I was perceived versus who I actually am. my current partner is also exploring his gender expression and he's the first person I truly feel like ME with. I hope you find someone one day that sees you in your full non-binary glory!!
I'll pretend it was not a re-upload 🫡
LMAOO i accidentally clicked off and got confused when i couldn’t go back :’)
@@Cookie_Comment T.T I got soooo excited but then the video disappeared:')
I thought I was hallucinating
@@radhikakhandelwal7788 wait wait wait, am i tripping or are you the um sososocietyy blog writer?? (apologies if I'm wrong T.T)
@@raksha4309 I am not
i think the whole struggle of trying to hold on to platonic relationships in a world of romantic love is so hard but so very important. it's v e r y frustrating at times, as someone who js aroace, trying to make people understand that love exists beyond romance and all. also rhe fear of being perceived as fem by my friends and partners is so real as a non binary person
bro adjusting to post-grad has definitely been an emotional rollercoaster. it took me 7 months but i finally got a job 😭 i'm learning just to enjoy every moment with my family and go with the flow because life is truly crazy atm
i can't believe i teared up towards the end there but omg i am so proud of you, it feels like yesterday that we watched you graduate from high school! thank you for sharing your post-grad thoughts, i relate to so much of what you said
I felt the part where you discussed insecurity surrounding how your partner perceives you. I am pansexual and non-binary as well and it has one of the first thoughts that I have when I talk to someone new, especially since I am fem presenting.
I'm so stressed about graduating now 😭
Hope you’re doing okay linh!! Thanks for the new vid!
I relate to this situation so much. My friends graduated around 2 years before I did. I changed majors (they were in political science and I switched to a law bachelors) and had to basically redo my undergrad. Most of them have steady partners and live together with them, have stable and long term jobs and it is really hard to meet them. Simply because they have very limited time left and when they have time they spend it with their partners or family. And you, as a friend, not topping that priority. It is a big commitment to choose a friend over the people who live with you. We are also kind of in different places in life. I am starting out and they are already on the path to steady jobs and homes. It is so mentally draining.
wishing you some comfort and peace ❤ i hope you're able to spend time with those who prioritize you! sending you a big virtual hug
literally felt this whole video 🥲
this whole time i felt like i was on a facetime w you. for some reason listening about your post grad anxiety gave me comfort. like i'm not the only one dealing w this. thank you💗
It’s so helpful to hear you speak so openly about gender and sexuality like this ❤
I'm also non-binary and pansexual and had a hard time coming out to my straight partner, but he accepted me fully and didn't get caught up on his label. He actively affirms my gender in any space we enter even when my own family doesn't affirm me. I totally get how you feel and you will find someone who accepts all of you.
Besides that, I vibe with literally all of the hurricane and messy emotions you are feeling. It's the same and we're all headless chickens running around.
I'm in the same post-grad boat and ohhhh man it is so hard in this market to find a job, I keep feeling like my degree is useless 😭 but I am learning how to stay positive and keep on trying 💪 we all out here struggling together and that's what keeps me going
Same :( University did not prepare me for the difficulty of trying to find work lol. We’ll defo get there and know it’s not just you!
i graduated last summer and im still dealing with so much of what your saying!!!! the loss of community that university provides was something that hit me really hard, friends are sooo everything and its hard to imagine the rest of life not having friends within walking distance AND having to work forever!!!! its so crazy being in your early 20s
as someone who dropped out of bc of illnesses, i really feel the crisis 🙃
i think relationships ultimately ebb and flow. i've been loving hitomi mochizuki's videos and her portrayal + experience with building relationships/community. it's become a big priority for me to prioritize all relationships rather than the one kind that we're fed by institutions/society. that doesn't mean i don't want a romantic partner but the fact that i can still create that love within myself and others. it's lowkey weird to me how friendships/family are devalued when they truly sustain us.
i think as you change and evolve, so will your relationships! but that doesn’t mean you still can't hang iut and connect whether online or in person. you never walk alone
this. when i graduated 2 years ago, i left feeling so lost - i eventually went back to school because i had no idea what i was doing, but it led to me being depressed out of my mind.
feeling everything you're feeling here as a fellow creator. sometimes, it feels so shambly and out of place with juggling work, school, content - but you're doing great.
Oh i had a very similar talk with my mother about prioritizing a stable career and not going to art school first. She encourages me to go study theater when i finish my current degree thought.
been a loyal sub since early lockdown n linh rn idc wht u say but ur SLAYING 😭❤️
being in an asian family and being a d1 yapper is SO REAL !!
i dont even speak to majority of the asian half of my family anymore; but whenever my parents come home with more tea about
the family tree i happily listen.
this isnt related but man, i remember watching your vids when you were in highschool senior while I was a freshman haha. crazy how im an undergrad student in college now, and youre a post grad student! thanks for all the laughs and love, linh! youre a super cool girl, keep it up, love ya! :)
I am living it right now (graduated uni end of 2023). I don’t have a job related to my degree yet, and I don’t think I will any time soon. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life, I’m so incredibly stressed about finances, I don’t have any friends, the list goes on… I’m feeling more lost than I ever have before, and my (granted, pre-existing) mental illnesses have become more debilitating than ever 🙁
Listening to Linh makes me realize that education really is powerful. I know and believe that she's smart, but she's also opinionated and has coherent thoughts that make sense. I watch a another youtuber who also shares a lot of musings (and rants) about life and living alone, and a commenter once pointed out that if only that person has other people to bounce off their thoughts with, that person would have a better understanding of life, so basically saying that that person could benefit off schooling. And now listening to Linh, I finally understood that commenter haha
I'm an older viet-american and the entirety of school was the forced doctor/lawyer/"useful degree"' path, which failed miserably and now that I'm older my mom tried to tell me to pursue art and it feels like the biggest punch to the stomach.
I'm in the same boat, but I'm still in school. I have thoughts of switching all the time, but the fear of not being financially stable scares me 😵💫 Since you've been there, do you have any advice on how to navigate?
@@reallyadawn4869 honestly, I struggled a lot with finances because mental health made it hard for me to work, so I understand that fear. I would say try to find the best balance of what you want and what pays the bills, you can still pursue art with a non-art degree. As long as you keep a good relationship with your passion for art, you will find a way to make it work for you. There are many artists that used to be corporate or medical.
Try to be open-minded on the changes and like, gentle with yourself. It won't be the end of the world if you work on a nonart degree, what will hurt the most is losing your passion or desire for art.
On paper non-art degrees look better, but your degree =/= the job you pursue. Or fuck it, double major. I had an archeology professor who minored in theatre. Markiplier has an engineering degree, Garbo Zhu/Grumpy Kid Studio graduated with an architect degree.
This is very much like rambling and the same thing worded differently 3 times, but it's things I try to tell myself to keep going
@@reallyadawn4869 I HAD THIS LONG REPLY TYPED OUT, but TLDR:
Your degree is just a piece of paper and your classes help give you a head start, at the end of the day you and your passion are what determine what you do. There is no harm in staying in your major to have a nice degree on paper for work. Money is the easiest way to lose hope and focus in life, but learning frugality and ways to save help out ( beans, rice, cabbage n eggs bby )
There is also like, no issue with double majoring, there is no rule that your minor or second major has to be related. I had an archeology professor with a double major in THEATRE.
But yeah, try to keep your passion for creating; your degree in something non-art isn't a "Hey you can't do art for work anymore".
Remember, grumpy kid studio's garbo zhu majored in architect, markiplier has an engineering major. You define what your work will be.
as someone who has been single for 10 yrs and has their first legit potentially good date TONIGHT this hit home. I want love and that forever best friend but the rest of me is very happy being alone because i love my own company and not having to consider another human outside of my core friends and core family. It's alot and i'm very stressed but also we have to find out and see what happens.....shit is scary guys.
make a book club post grad! friends+books+recurring event=good connection
This rambling is beautiful!! I saw a couple of your videos a few years ago and it's crazy how clearly you've grown. I can hear in the way you speak how learning has shifted the way you think, super smart, informed and empathetic. I feel much less alone in my postgrad spiral!!
hey started watching/listening to your videos recently. really like the content coming from someone who also has a bachelors in sociology. definitely have had similar issues in post grad life since getting my degree in 2023. can relate a lot to your struggles in terms of sexuality, staying connected with friends, and general every day life.
This video was so comforting 🥺🥺🥹🥹
full circle moment when I remembered watching u when u were in 12th grade almost into college and I was still in middle school to now u graduating and I just started going to college.. u're a real inspiration linh!! I long for the same dedication and passion that u have ♥️
Congratulations on your gender and sexual identity!! You're awesome 💫
Graduating this July 2024 and rn I’m incredibly stressed out about what’s next. Post grad crisis is real and I keep putting things off my mind because there’s so much going in my head once I start thinking about the future. It’s like I wanna study for my board exam but my parent wanted me to work first. Plus the pressure of being one of the top performing students hence it’s expected of you to take that licensure exam and pass (not to mention it’s one of the hardest in my country with low passing rate). Now I’m always in my phone, just scrolling and thinking that I’d get tired of this too. July is fast approaching hence I really need to think things through, but hey one thought at a time!
I have that same issue because as someone who presents as fem, cis men disregard my non-binary label altogether. It’s so disheartening because most men ( not my friends or past partners I’ve had ) will never see me as me but just a body to obtain.
Dear Linh; as a random faceless viewer on the internet can I simply say that is okay to not want to share things about your personal life or your career with people, random people, old friends, new friends, family. Yeah, it could mean that you're scared about what they'll think but I also like to think that we can choose our battles in order to protect ourselves. So, ask yourself, how would the situation change if you explain detail by detail to this extended family your career and life? Would it be better? Worse? Or would it be the same? At the end of the day would the way you feel about it even change?
It can be difficult to let go of the way the world and societies look at you, expect you to behave or to be base on the boxes they place you at.
The most important thing is that your choices bring you happiness and that your content with your life and that you love it.
You probably know this, but sometimes is nice to hear it from a stranger.
you're like me but honest. thank you
Oh my, I‘m also graduating this year and today I‘ve been spiraling about all the unknown things that are about to come. So I feel you 100%
this video was so so needed. i graduated a semester early last year and got a temp job pretty soon after so my post-grad feelings were delayed bc most of my friends hadn't graduated yet and i had a job to keep me occupied. now that that job is over and im unemployed while all my friends are working, the post grad crisis is creeping up on me. thank you for this.
linh just keeps spitting TRUTHS!! i was always the bullied kid in middle school and highschool, so i never really had friends (and the friends i did have i'm not in contact with anymore) so i basically only have my bf :,) if anyone has any tips on making friends (im 20 now) pleaaaase lmk
I love that you talk about things that people are too scared to talk about. Being open about your life really helps me and other people feel more understood and is nice to relate to someone else.
omg i love this video ! i love how you can update and be vulnerable with your viewers
Please read All about Love, Bell Hooks! ❤️
i relate to this so hard with my media studies major fr like the way i view the world and capitalism and how we organize ourselves as humans is so different than before college and im so thankful
i love listening to your yap sessions before bed, keep yapping :)
honestly i think you already have a lot of good things going for you! you’re actively figuring it out and it seems like you have support
hello rainbow dinosaur peyton 👋🏼 i am plain old human peyton :)
WOOOO 2024!!! This video was honestly so refreshing, graduation is right around the corner and I'm both excited and have a daunting feeling for what comes after. Either way tho, I will find happiness >:D
Let me tell ya one great thing about post-grad is that it is possible to keep up with your college friends. My main friend group now is made up mostly of people I've continued to be around who I met in college! So there's hope! :)
so excited to be this early! i love listening to your life updates and admire how you can express your vulnerabilities and intimate self! take care and much love
Fellow post-grad here! The transition from college life to adult life and starting a new job presented a lot of challenges and stress that I really wasn't prepared for. I've been sick EIGHT times since September, some times were from pure stress and other times from starting to work a lot with little kids. I'm finally feeling more settled in my life, but also feeling some pressure to go back to school to get a master's. I'm a freelance musician/music teacher so having a master's could give me an edge and offer me better opportunities (like having an actual salaried job with benefits lol). I know it's the right step for my career, but the thought of going back to school and moving again kind of freaks me out. I just want to settle down somewhere, but I have a long way to go. Thinking about the future is scary and uncomfortable :/ you're not alone.
The talk about marriage and relationships is so real. As an asexual and possibly aromantic person, it’s so hard to detach myself from the idea that I have to be in a relationship to be fulfilled. Friendship can be just as fulfilling as romantic relationships (or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself).
I understand you so deeply about the viet aunties and uncles using snowball effect to create these crazy collateral damages :) I was in the exact same situation for the past year and now I had to cut them off (not burn the bridges completely but i locked the gates on the bridges). I hope you know that sometimes they DO NOT have the rights to hurt you or your family like that. It's absolutely not your family nor your fault. I strongly believe it's because they did not know any better than that ;)
side thought: would love to know any sociology-related book recs! seems so fascinating!! ❤
your rambling is so sporadic but so inspirational 🥹
It was so bad that I went to grad school to pursue my masters because of how bored I was. No one wanted to hire me with a history degree lol
hi linh ur quite literally my spirit guide
I normally never comment but I have to say this video came at the right time and spoke to my heart. I'm at a similar point in my life right now, as I'm also graduating from sociology this year and yes the post-grad crisis is hitting hard these days... To figure out how you want your life (work, relationships and love) to look like after leaving the "safe place" of university is pretty scary!
the point you made about how valuable the knowledge you acquired from studying sociology is, how it could never be taken away from you and de-valued was extremely important. whatever worth the market assigns to your field of study is irrelevant; knowledge is valuable and transforming regardless of how much the paycheck attached to it is
i understand the hating dating apps thing SO MUCH. i'm on hinge rn and it gives me so much anxiety tbh. it does feel weird being perceived through an app based on very superficial things like photos and basic facts, i am such an old soul in that way.
also, post-grad can be scary but it will all work out in the end! trust your gut with jobs and relocating and you will end up where you need to be
I went about 7-8 years from my last relationship to my current one, and my experience in the dating app/dating sphere as a queer person totally resonated with how you feel about being perceived as your whole self! I decided that I wanted to prioritize the same things you mentioned (love & relationships as a choice, a queer-coded relationship vs a straight-coded one in terms of behavior and attitudes) and despite the stress and loneliness til now, I wouldn't do anything different.
Also, I've found that everything is cyclical and eventually you renew connections with people who were off in their relationships/personal life for a while. People miss you too! It's gonna work out, I think you have really good focuses for the near future!
I loved the conversation on this video... I'm from brazil so the relationship (all of them) may have a different aspect but after I finished college and started working I still see and casually hang out with my friends from college (even from high school) quite often. Yes sometimes a friend will be living in a different country or city, another one will be married already or just traveling around the world. But I don't know, we just have conversations about our lifes and struggles, and we still value each other space in our current life - even tough some people you will see idk 2x per year. We are all navigating this new cycle of life and meeting new people as well but when it is a good friendship it will just work - even tough it may be only with a facetime sometimes
I graduated in ‘22 and the stress is/was real 😢❤
tearing up after your vid ahh! Thank you so much for sharing 100% relate to everything you said regarding relationships. I’m graduating at the end of the year so the full on post grad crisis hasn’t hit me yet ( I can feel it brewing though) but I will definitely come back to this vid when it does
i feel like i've been living this post grad crisis since graduating last spring :'D I think it's only been recently that all these kinds of things (expectations, future, job prospects, friendships n so on) have hit me, so it is comforting to here and understand that others are going through the same thing, even if they've graduated recently or are soon to be grads!! I think i've neglected that theres much more that a person can learn even outside of school, now i wanna look into workshops or classes to take avaliable to me :D thank you and best of luck to you!!
i really enjoyed this video!!! i love listening to you ramble honestly, if you had a podcast or something i would listen to it on loop haha. i watched this while deep cleaning my room and it didnt even feel boring anymore :)
I graduated in 2021 and I'm still in crisis. Good luck kids😂🚶🏾♀️
Hiii Linh, thanks for another video. I was wondering have you seen the new Viet movie Mai. I just watched it and im still recovering
Was video reuploded or something?
yes...youtube cut off the last two minutes of the video for some reason! sorry for the confusion ;-;
@@withlovelinh
@@withlovelinh omg girl don’t be sorry quirky yt should be sorry 🥹
I spy the brief and wonderous life of oscar wao on your nightstand... what are your thoughts on it? I read it for a Caribbean body politics class and highkey hated it but I'd be interested to know how you took it?
I haven’t started and I’ve heard mixed reviews, so idk yet!
@@withlovelinh I read it in tandem with Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo (she also wrote Clap When You Land which was popular on booktok) and I loved Poet X so much more. If you decide Junot Diaz isn't for you, check out Elizabeth Acevedo :)
Ahh tomorrow is my exam and this is the perfect destressing video 😌✊🏻
Yay perfect timing. Your videos give me so much comfort ✨
Tbh: I’ve been unemployed in the past semester and I get so stressed about it and well, my mental health hasn’t been the same from January so I try to look up and do what I can to make myself feel better..
I am graduating in three months and these thoughts are haunting me every single day!! Thank you for your video Linh ☺ It's so good to hear that I'm not alone 😮💨
If it makes you feel better your entire house is an aesthetic vibe
i remember watching your video on school once you started, and now we’re graduating at the same time!! good luck and thanks for this, kind of eased my own post grad anxieties and delusions
LINH!!!!
thanks a lot for sharing, I loved the video ^_^
the fact i relate to a lot of those feelings when im still in my last year of high school and having no idea of what i want to graduate as
but we're gonna be fine linh!! we'll be good
I freaking love your channel. You’re so smart, funny, empathetic and inspiring. And your videos are so well-made and aesthetically beautiful - like it looks like they take 20 hours to edit!❤
as a graduating liberal arts student with no job secured who is terrified about disappointing her parents and herself by being unemployed and feels extremely disillusioned, thank you. this made me feel less alone
Im currently in my post-post graduate crisis
good luck to u, u can do this !!!!
Gonna call a therapist tomorrow. Wish me luck
the whole dating thing as a non-binary is such a real struggle
This is so relatable! Thank you for making this 🥹🤍
ahhhh linh posted!!
where u by any chance walking on wilson towards pho 75 with someone holding one of those vietnamese straw hats that look cool as fuck that i forget the name of??? cause i think i passed u but i was running to get back to school on time lmao but i was holding some boba
also!! your gender identity is such a vibe (ha. ha.) because i'm nonbinary and dress v v fem and im read as a girl and sdjkahsdakjh
I'm so glad I'm not the only one experiencing this stuff 😭. I've been anxious about this ever since the new year started
I remember my post-grad struggle, I didn't have any friends in a new country, I couldn't find a proper job for 10 months, I felt so lonely and disconnected, and late to life. I also had a weird relationship that didn't end so well. But around the time of my graduation, I entered an acting school, which literally changed my life. I pursued my passion (which is acting and theatre), found close friends, started attending theatres, museums, movie shoots (as an extra), was invited to play in a theatre by one of my acting professors. I'm still single and a virgin at 25, but with so much good stuff going on in my life, it's just not a priority for me. Some of my friends did try to sleep with me (they're still my friends because I set the boundaries), but I made an active choice not to, because I don't want situationships or friends with benefits. I still want to have a happy family someday, but life has so many other beautiful and important things that even if it doesn't happen, I will still be perfectly happy. I have a job that pays well, good friends, hobbies, passions, and I'm realizing my creative potential, which is so vital to me.
I'm going to play the "old sister" vibe
As a 37 years old self employed straight woman, I'm going to say this linh : CHILL THE FUCK OUT XD
You have SO MUCH time to figure shit out !
I only started dating at 27 and found my true partner at 35 ! I struggled for acamedic work and ended up being a self employer artist and entrepreneur because I freakin hate having a boss and yes it's a hard route but it's a choice I never regretted and EVEN more so that I would make again specially in my early 20s because that's exactly the right time to figure shit out and try different projects and jobs and figure out your voice and message and contribution to the world. When I gratuaded I barely had social media and youtube was still quite new (2011) then I had no revenues but still found a way out. I struggled with depression and hated my body. You are so so much more equiped thant I ever was at the same age. You have a lot to work with, you have this platform, you have arts and crafts - I discovered you via your little art shop video - so you can just take a breather. You are worried and I was too when I finished my master's degree because it was a whole different world but you have so much to offer the world and you will make new friends as well ! You will get things in order don't worry much, just take it month by month.
You got this ;)
Also sidenote but why do you want a job outside of social media and such ? you have a big following, you can do art stuff and be a content creator as a full time job ? is there a reason ? do you plan on stopping at some point or is it because you'd like your income do not depend on it ?
Best of luck, can't wait to see your future :)
Wow, I didn’t know everyone had similar experiences. I had the exact same thoughts around relationships, friendships, and family, and career but now its been 2 year post-grad, all of these spiraling thoughts and questions will start to resolve itself in a very, calm, natural way. Congratulations to the class of 2024, and be proud of who you have become.
Unless generation Z grows up to become... the right-wing people we have now, I yhink things will become better. You know, in... 15-20 years when wer're in power.
I'm 28 years old who aspires tobe in the music industry, I am single without seeing myself in a serious relationship, I live at home because of the housing crisis and I'm still unemployed despite speaking 4 languages and having just graduated college, I have been actively seeking employement for a year and a half straight with no luck, but I have travelled to see concerts in other European countries, my second one being abroad ten years ago, I feel you with the crisis and feeling in shambles, but we'll see what future we have in store, good luck!
hey linh! I've been a longtime follower from the days before you even moved out for uni and so absolutely adore you and your content. having said this, would you mind putting a little sly disclaimer at the beginning of a video if you happen to discuss mature content? and as always, thanks for a new vid! hope you have a good rest of your week :+)