Encouraging your children to be independent-minded freethinkers is the greatest gift a parent can bestow. Along with higher education. Something you could never in the suffocating confines of the WTO.
Steve D Exactly I got out before having children because I wasn’t raising them in this nonsense, I wanted them to think for themselves and if they wanted to go to college I was going to encourage them to do it. Especially my daughter I didn’t want my husband, or the elders, or the in-laws telling her she is only good for two things being a wife and mother.
To me getting a higher education and living your life in happiness is a great way to get back at the organization from what I’ve heard they expect those that are shunned to be unhappy and their life is worse because of leaving it imagine the confusion they feel when the shunned are happy and healthy without the organization
@@PokemonRules333 Exactly I got disfellowshipped walked out the door and never stepped foot in the congregation again , living your life and being happy 😃 I would never crawl back to them.
Love your little girl I’m 81 and I’m crying now for the damage I let happen to my 3 oldestchildren years ago my late husband became a JW through his sister, I can’t begin to tell you what that did to my family we argued I refused to have a B study one man said can’t remember exact words but it was more or less I wasn’t worth bothering about. I did weaken to the stage I let my husband take them out of the RC schools and take them to a few meetings when I realised how unhappy they were I stopped the meetings more rows I couldn’t do anything about the schools and have suffered depression ever since, my oldest son was expelled, I thought the other two had coped but a friend told me her grandson had told her Anne broke her heart the day she left.the youngest boy said he sat in the cloakroom as he had no friends. They are middle aged now but have not forgotten their experience. I could not have a better family they look after me well but often talk about their unhappiness at school, my husband went for over 20 years then stopped abruptly wouldn’t tell me why tho he did say he still believed they are right. My son said he’s stopped going now after what he put us through as children. None of his friends called to see him so I’ll never know he was a good man just believed he was right. I’m glad you are having a happy life and your children a normal childhood, I will say mine did still have Christmas and birthdays as I had a wonderful mother and sister.
I just left November 2019, sending a disassociation letter after 29 years. My family is from Tyrone County Ireland! Hello from Phoenix AZ USA! So Happy you and your family got out of the cult with family Intact!
I remember when I was a teen-ager and my older sister, also a teen-ager, was disfellowshipped. It was like my sister died but there was no good bye and no funeral. Extremely devastating. Also, it's harmful when our children have to get used to the fact that they must learn to adapt to dropping friends and family at the drop of a hat. It's psychologically damaging on both sides even when we try to be gentle about the shunning policy. Your daughter doesn't have to play along either their shunning and neither do we. We can always say hello and there is nothing they can do about it. It just makes the parents look bad in the eyes of the children because the children have innate kindness.
This is great advice for parents leaving this organization. I had my daughter after I left and my husband was never a JW. My daughter is 14 now and this was the age that my mother was converted to the JW organization along with my grandmother. Since this is an impressionable age I choose to tell my daughter my story. I felt it was import to explain things to her so she knew what to expect and what to avoid. Knowledge is the key to success..
Knowledge is the key to success... That is so powerful! Thank you for sharing your story. It's so true. Keeping things under wraps just draws attention to it, creating an air of mystery and intrigue...not to mention the shame. Better to be out with it and make our children aware of traps cults everywhere have laid for them :)
@@TheExjwFamily Exactly!! She now knows what its all about and wants nothing to do with it. If a JW kid approaches her at school she knows the tactics they will use and how to handle herself.
My mom got baptized (as a JW) when I was 3 years old She was pregnant with my sister at the time Daddy was never a JW But, he used to study with them My sister is a JW as well I decided not to be Because I wasn't sure what to believe
@@cheneethompson5756 Real truth should never be fearful of questions or research. Good for you for having the strength and forethought to question what you believe!
She is precious! My daughter is about the same age. I brought her to a few meetings when she was a baby but she doesn’t remember that at all. We’re part of a wonderful group of homeschoolers that she can freely celebrate birthdays and holidays with. It’s been a few years and she has known nothing else than being able to celebrate those things but it’s still a little weird to me. I’m so happy she is able to experience it! It made me teary eyed when your daughter said she missed family and it makes me angry when it comes to that. My parents have nothing to do with my daughter and my brother doesn’t even know her. It really sucks. She’s aware of it now and just thinks it sucks that I grew up not being able to celebrate holidays. I’m glad you guys can experience the holidays with your kids now!
Holidays are awesome! The witnesses say they're pagan, but so are wedding rings And yet, witness brides wear them! So, that's a classic example of a double standard! They say "origins matter" Interesting! The witness origins are demonic as well I mean, the name "watchtower" stems from a tarot card That's one of the most popular cards in the deck
I had a great non jw childhood in the 1960,s and 1970,s it wasn,t until 1988 aged 27 I got sucked into the cult over the hope of seeing my dead mother again who died in 1962 aged 30 when I was aged 1. I dissociated in 2018 aged 57. If we only had the internet in 1988. Your daughters generation will be less gullible it's so good to see young people leave this cult while they are still young it's harder to make friends when your older . I,m 61 in 2022 and have made 2 realley good worldly atheist friends but it took 3 years. You have saved your daughters from a lot of heart ache that you experienced Pat and Katie. Justin porter ex jw
This is how this evil cult, ensnares people when they are vulnerable when losing loved one’s, the promises that if you join then you will see them again and have eternal life. This is a truly disgusting thing to do to vulnerable people, it’s all fake false and lies. The Watchtower being wrong since 1914 !
She’s absolutely adorable 🥰 and did a great job! 🥰 Thinking back to my childhood and what affected me the most from the meetings was most definitely all the Armageddon talk. I attended way back in the 70’s & 80’s, so I’m not sure how much they focus on that now. I’m just wondering if you’ve had to deal with any fears of the world ending at any moment or nightmares from the violent imagery in the publications or what was heard from the platform? I certainly hope she doesn’t have any long lasting memories of that! It’s wonderful to see your kids having a normal childhood! I hope the best for them! 🥰
Thank you, she’s a sweetheart 🥰 Thankfully she was too young to remember all the Armageddon talk and has had no fears or nightmares about the world ending. She does, however, ask a lot of questions about death and what happens/where do we go. That’s been a tough one to answer, we do simply say that no one really knows and that it’s ok not to have all the answers about life or death ❤️
@@TheExjwFamily That’s really great that she doesn’t have any recollection of that! It pains me to know what so many children are being subjected to that! Especially knowing the long term effects of that constant ingrained fear. Oh yes! The subject of death is difficult to explain but it’s almost a relief to not have all the answers! With my kids, I just found they felt better to talk about the person and recall the good memories they had. By the way… good luck with the big change coming up for your family and I hope you’ll enjoy the travels!!! It’ll be nice to see where you go! 🥰
yup. My mother has shunned my brother ( her son and first born) for 33 years. She has never met any of her grandkids and great grandkids. All because my brother was disfellowshiped at 20 years old. Not natural!
Haha thanks. My beard grows ridiculously fast, which was a really issue while inside. I shaved it off a few months back for the crack. Glad to have it back :D
Hey my you tube friends., Im so heartened to see you and your family are adjusting very well. However., a bit of criticism here, when a active or inactive JW uses the term (worldly) in reality it does not just describe a non JW ! In truth it carries a negative connotation. From a Jw perspective it is also a term of degradation. Someone not as good as a JW. 🤪Be aware us worldly folks are catching on to the lingo, thanks to all the Ex Jw channels.✌🏼❤️
The kids must know that we don't have to behave as the jw do. Jesus taught return evil for evil to Noone. We can always say hello and there is nothing they can do about it. It just makes the parents look bad in the eyes of the children because the children have innate kindness.
She isn't familiar with that exact term. But she understands that we left a religion where people believe strange things and we no longer agree with those people. Saying that, she'll likely forget most of it when she's older.
Hey Patrick., what a absolute kick in the ass ! I was just listening to your commentary about you can’t play with non witness kids because it’s bad association!!! WTF !!! Hold on you clowns ( G.B. 8) let’s turn the lens inwards at the ( the truth) 😆😁🤣🤪 Who’s really BAD ASSOCIATION ??? Is that not the pot calling the kettle black ? I watched a video on another channel where appx. A third of the ppl. In the congregation have developed some type of mental illness being a jw. Yet they tell you as a jw to avoid any association with ( worldly) ppl. , who is the REAL BAD ASSOCIATION ?
I just wanted to say that the kids need to accept that there are many religions that practice different customs and celebrations and they fonts shunn like jws. It is extreme behavior that divides people, not their customs but how they cooperate together. jw are against interfaith also.
Hi we are inactive for many years, l myself learnt many good ways when we where in the Society never really had a good school education the Watchtower help me as a person an to see the good in creation an opportunity for me to be a better person in life with my conduct and behaviour in my life the Watchtower brought the best in me each one of us has our own path to walk you guys look great l don't poke fingers at anyone if they leave, or stay inside the Watchtower, l hope you all keep hold of the good ways that the Society has taught you peace be with you all.
You're right because when I was disfellowshipped back in 2011 I had 6 kids my husband left us for another I'm back reinstated now but before they said the prayer of my disfellowshipping I asked thr elder my sons are still publishers will you continue their study and the y promised they would and gradually they shunned my kids too and I was truly hurt. Now I'm waking up and those same children are angry withe because now they're baptized and still active idk what to do and I'm scared I still believe in a God I just don't know who or what it is
Hello I'm currently a witness but I'm feeling like this isn't right its been a while now but see I have 7. Children my oldest and his wife is trying to get baptized my second son is baptized but he's disassociate and my 11 yr old is on the ministry school I have my oldest daughter that's a lesbian and the rest just go because of me my husband left 3 yrs ago because he had bad experiences but now I'm afraid of what will happen to my kids ...my oldest son a d his wife aren't baptized but they're studying when he was young he was an unbaptized pub but at 18 he rebelled now he has lupus and a very bad skin condition that doesn't allow him to cut his hair because he's disfigured to to tumors etc he's sad because they said he can't give talks although he's very good because he may stumble someone this hurts me he switched Halls but it's the same...I'm feeling like this may not be the truth but idk what to do a d I certainly don't want to leave and start celebrating holidays and stuff either because I've always thought it was wrong before baptism but what will I do who will I worship? What will happen to me?
Thanks for reaching out Touriea. First of all, sorry to hear about your predicament. It sounds like you're in such a difficult position. I wouldn't worry too much about celebrating holidays right now. At the minute, you are questioning and deconstructing your beliefs because you know that something isn't right. That process can take months or years. Give yourself time. Things like worrying about doing anything new or building new beliefs at this point will only do harm in the long run. If you're looking for the truth, you first need to give yourself permission to look properly. You might feel like you can't read certain books or websites or watch certain videos. But if you want real truth, you need to look everywhere...not just at the information prescribed to you by the governing body. Watching RUclips videos is a great first step. jwfacts.com/watchtower/questionable-watchtower-doctrine.php will help confirm some of your suspicions and help you disconnect some truths and lies especially regarding doctrines. How your son with Lupus is being treated is so unfair and is a sign that there is no real love among Jehovah's Witnesses. Just a thin veil. My brother had the exact same thing. He had to grow a beard because he had scars on his face. Several elders wanted him to give talks, but the other elders out-voted them in the elder meetings. He is now no longer a Jehovah's Witness. It sounds like you've accepted that leaving is inevitable, but you aren't sure about what to do after you leave. Honestly, you should probably just give yourself time. Sifting out old beliefs and going through the grieving process can take time. You might be surprise by how some in your family react when you tell them you no longer believe and you are leaving. To our surprise, some of our family members told us they felt the same. Others, however, doubled down. Whether friends or family, you will lose people. It is difficult to accept, but when their love is conditional, you come to realize that you actually aren't losing much. There's a whole lot more to it. We are actually in the middle of working on a video that talks about 5 things you should know if you are waking up. We'll make sure to touch on a few of the tings you mentioned. I hope it helps. Wishing you and your family the very best. Any other questions please do let us know. Emailing is better (the about section of this channel) because sometimes we can miss comments. We didn't expect so many of them! Good luck!
Encouraging your children to be independent-minded freethinkers is the greatest gift a parent can bestow. Along with higher education.
Something you could never in the suffocating confines of the WTO.
So very true, Steve! Thanks goodness for being free of those confines :)
Steve D Exactly I got out before having children because I wasn’t raising them in this nonsense, I wanted them to think for themselves and if they wanted to go to college I was going to encourage them to do it. Especially my daughter I didn’t want my husband, or the elders, or the in-laws telling her she is only good for two things being a wife and mother.
To me getting a higher education and living your life in happiness is a great way to get back at the organization from what I’ve heard they expect those that are shunned to be unhappy and their life is worse because of leaving it imagine the confusion they feel when the shunned are happy and healthy without the organization
@@PokemonRules333 Exactly I got disfellowshipped walked out the door and never stepped foot in the congregation again , living your life and being happy 😃 I would never crawl back to them.
Love your little girl I’m 81 and I’m crying now for the damage I let happen to my 3 oldestchildren years ago my late husband became a JW through his sister, I can’t begin to tell you what that did to my family we argued I refused to have a B study one man said can’t remember exact words but it was more or less I wasn’t worth bothering about. I did weaken to the stage I let my husband take them out of the RC schools and take them to a few meetings when I realised how unhappy they were I stopped the meetings more rows I couldn’t do anything about the schools and have suffered depression ever since, my oldest son was expelled, I thought the other two had coped but a friend told me her grandson had told her Anne broke her heart the day she left.the youngest boy said he sat in the cloakroom as he had no friends. They are middle aged now but have not forgotten their experience. I could not have a better family they look after me well but often talk about their unhappiness at school, my husband went for over 20 years then stopped abruptly wouldn’t tell me why tho he did say he still believed they are right. My son said he’s stopped going now after what he put us through as children. None of his friends called to see him so I’ll never know he was a good man just believed he was right. I’m glad you are having a happy life and your children a normal childhood, I will say mine did still have Christmas and birthdays as I had a wonderful mother and sister.
I just left November 2019, sending a disassociation letter after 29 years. My family is from Tyrone County Ireland! Hello from Phoenix AZ USA! So Happy you and your family got out of the cult with family Intact!
Hey Deborah. Glad you got out. Tyrone is a lovely part of the country. Sending our regards from the Emerald Isle.
I’m so happy for you and your family. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much!
I remember when I was a teen-ager and my older sister, also a teen-ager, was disfellowshipped. It was like my sister died but there was no good bye and no funeral. Extremely devastating. Also, it's harmful when our children have to get used to the fact that they must learn to adapt to dropping friends and family at the drop of a hat. It's psychologically damaging on both sides even when we try to be gentle about the shunning policy. Your daughter doesn't have to play along either their shunning and neither do we. We can always say hello and there is nothing they can do about it. It just makes the parents look bad in the eyes of the children because the children have innate kindness.
This is great advice for parents leaving this organization. I had my daughter after I left and my husband was never a JW. My daughter is 14 now and this was the age that my mother was converted to the JW organization along with my grandmother. Since this is an impressionable age I choose to tell my daughter my story. I felt it was import to explain things to her so she knew what to expect and what to avoid. Knowledge is the key to success..
Knowledge is the key to success... That is so powerful! Thank you for sharing your story. It's so true. Keeping things under wraps just draws attention to it, creating an air of mystery and intrigue...not to mention the shame. Better to be out with it and make our children aware of traps cults everywhere have laid for them :)
@@TheExjwFamily Exactly!! She now knows what its all about and wants nothing to do with it. If a JW kid approaches her at school she knows the tactics they will use and how to handle herself.
My mom got baptized (as a JW) when I was 3 years old
She was pregnant with my sister at the time
Daddy was never a JW
But, he used to study with them
My sister is a JW as well
I decided not to be
Because I wasn't sure what to believe
@@cheneethompson5756 Real truth should never be fearful of questions or research. Good for you for having the strength and forethought to question what you believe!
She is precious! My daughter is about the same age. I brought her to a few meetings when she was a baby but she doesn’t remember that at all. We’re part of a wonderful group of homeschoolers that she can freely celebrate birthdays and holidays with. It’s been a few years and she has known nothing else than being able to celebrate those things but it’s still a little weird to me. I’m so happy she is able to experience it!
It made me teary eyed when your daughter said she missed family and it makes me angry when it comes to that. My parents have nothing to do with my daughter and my brother doesn’t even know her. It really sucks.
She’s aware of it now and just thinks it sucks that I grew up not being able to celebrate holidays.
I’m glad you guys can experience the holidays with your kids now!
Our daughter too misses family members very much but goes all out and has an amazing time with the holidays with our family that is out.
Hell yeah! I'm glad she embraces the holidays. Gotta live and love the life that was given to us.
Holidays are awesome! The witnesses say they're pagan, but so are wedding rings
And yet, witness brides wear them!
So, that's a classic example of a double standard!
They say "origins matter"
Interesting!
The witness origins are demonic as well
I mean, the name "watchtower" stems from a tarot card
That's one of the most popular cards in the deck
This is wholesome stay blessed all and this channel is blowing up.
Thank you, buddy. It has grown a lot so quickly...much to our amazement!
I had a great non jw childhood in the 1960,s and 1970,s it wasn,t until 1988 aged 27 I got sucked into the cult over the hope of seeing my dead mother again who died in 1962 aged 30 when I was aged 1. I dissociated in 2018 aged 57. If we only had the internet in 1988. Your daughters generation will be less gullible it's so good to see young people leave this cult while they are still young it's harder to make friends when your older . I,m 61 in 2022 and have made 2 realley good worldly atheist friends but it took 3 years. You have saved your daughters from a lot of heart ache that you experienced Pat and Katie. Justin porter ex jw
This is how this evil cult, ensnares people when they are vulnerable when losing loved one’s, the promises that if you join then you will see them again and have eternal life.
This is a truly disgusting thing to do to vulnerable people, it’s all fake false and lies.
The Watchtower being wrong since 1914 !
You're a brave family making the future bright for all of us :-)
If we can offer a little hope for even one person it will have been worth it. Thank you for your kind words!
She’s absolutely adorable 🥰 and did a great job! 🥰 Thinking back to my childhood and what affected me the most from the meetings was most definitely all the Armageddon talk. I attended way back in the 70’s & 80’s, so I’m not sure how much they focus on that now. I’m just wondering if you’ve had to deal with any fears of the world ending at any moment or nightmares from the violent imagery in the publications or what was heard from the platform? I certainly hope she doesn’t have any long lasting memories of that! It’s wonderful to see your kids having a normal childhood! I hope the best for them! 🥰
Thank you, she’s a sweetheart 🥰 Thankfully she was too young to remember all the Armageddon talk and has had no fears or nightmares about the world ending. She does, however, ask a lot of questions about death and what happens/where do we go. That’s been a tough one to answer, we do simply say that no one really knows and that it’s ok not to have all the answers about life or death ❤️
@@TheExjwFamily That’s really great that she doesn’t have any recollection of that! It pains me to know what so many children are being subjected to that! Especially knowing the long term effects of that constant ingrained fear. Oh yes! The subject of death is difficult to explain but it’s almost a relief to not have all the answers! With my kids, I just found they felt better to talk about the person and recall the good memories they had.
By the way… good luck with the big change coming up for your family and I hope you’ll enjoy the travels!!! It’ll be nice to see where you go! 🥰
What a lovely family. You are free now from captivity and that’s the best thing could have happened to you.
Life’s good especially when we are free. 🥳
It really is :)
I'm being very honest with you right now. I DID NOT KNOW they were encouraged to shun THEIR OWN CHILDREN. I'M SO ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY SHOCKED BY THAT
yup. My mother has shunned my brother ( her son and first born) for 33 years. She has never met any of her grandkids and great grandkids. All because my brother was disfellowshiped at 20 years old. Not natural!
Great beard, Patrick. You must have started growing it the day you left!
Haha thanks. My beard grows ridiculously fast, which was a really issue while inside. I shaved it off a few months back for the crack. Glad to have it back :D
Great job guys. Love the free talking by all. Lovely to lead a full life - esp the children but sorry for the loss of friends / family.
Than you, Happy Grandpa :)
Hey my you tube friends., Im so heartened to see you and your family are adjusting very well. However., a bit of criticism here, when a active or inactive JW uses the term (worldly) in reality it does not just describe a non JW ! In truth it carries a negative connotation. From a Jw perspective it is also a term of degradation. Someone not as good as a JW. 🤪Be aware us worldly folks are catching on to the lingo, thanks to all the Ex Jw channels.✌🏼❤️
Thanks bud. Good point. And appreciate the kind words :)
Great job family
Thank you 🤗
Adorable family!
Excellent episode!
Good work in deprogramming your daughter from JW stuff.
Thanks so much!
Your daughter is cute ♥️♥️♥️😍
Haha thanks. We think so too, but we might be a little biased :)
So lovely ✨
shalom, svp activer les sous titres en français...merci...shalom, please activate the French subtitles ... thank you ...
Will do buddy. We're having trouble with subtitles. Hopefully we'll have it worked out this weekend.
The kids must know that we don't have to behave as the jw do. Jesus taught return evil for evil to Noone. We can always say hello and there is nothing they can do about it. It just makes the parents look bad in the eyes of the children because the children have innate kindness.
Kids are very clever that way.
Your daughter is so cute!
I have a question please. Does your daughter know what you mean by 'waking up'?
She isn't familiar with that exact term. But she understands that we left a religion where people believe strange things and we no longer agree with those people. Saying that, she'll likely forget most of it when she's older.
@@TheExjwFamilyshe's so bloody cute!
Hey Patrick., what a absolute kick in the ass ! I was just listening to your commentary about you can’t play with non witness kids because it’s bad association!!! WTF !!! Hold on you clowns ( G.B. 8) let’s turn the lens inwards at the ( the truth) 😆😁🤣🤪 Who’s really BAD ASSOCIATION ??? Is that not the pot calling the kettle black ? I watched a video on another channel where appx. A third of the ppl. In the congregation have developed some type of mental illness being a jw. Yet they tell you as a jw to avoid any association with ( worldly) ppl. , who is the REAL BAD ASSOCIATION ?
I just wanted to say that the kids need to accept that there are many religions that practice different customs and celebrations and they fonts shunn like jws. It is extreme behavior that divides people, not their customs but how they cooperate together. jw are against interfaith also.
Trick or treating? Do you do that in Ireland?
I believe Halloween is a big deal in Ireland! They trick or treat there, like in Canada and the U.S.
BTW, halloween actually originated in Ireland!
Hi we are inactive for many years, l myself learnt many good ways when we where in the Society never really had a good school education the Watchtower help me as a person an to see the good in creation an opportunity for me to be a better person in life with my conduct and behaviour in my life the Watchtower brought the best in me each one of us has our own path to walk you guys look great l don't poke fingers at anyone if they leave, or stay inside the Watchtower, l hope you all keep hold of the good ways that the Society has taught you peace be with you all.
I'm now inactive from my Waterville Congregation for welllll over 30 years now. And I'm sooooo glad 2B out of there
You're right because when I was disfellowshipped back in 2011 I had 6 kids my husband left us for another I'm back reinstated now but before they said the prayer of my disfellowshipping I asked thr elder my sons are still publishers will you continue their study and the y promised they would and gradually they shunned my kids too and I was truly hurt. Now I'm waking up and those same children are angry withe because now they're baptized and still active idk what to do and I'm scared I still believe in a God I just don't know who or what it is
🤪 P r o m o s m!!
Hello I'm currently a witness but I'm feeling like this isn't right its been a while now but see I have 7. Children my oldest and his wife is trying to get baptized my second son is baptized but he's disassociate and my 11 yr old is on the ministry school I have my oldest daughter that's a lesbian and the rest just go because of me my husband left 3 yrs ago because he had bad experiences but now I'm afraid of what will happen to my kids ...my oldest son a d his wife aren't baptized but they're studying when he was young he was an unbaptized pub but at 18 he rebelled now he has lupus and a very bad skin condition that doesn't allow him to cut his hair because he's disfigured to to tumors etc he's sad because they said he can't give talks although he's very good because he may stumble someone this hurts me he switched Halls but it's the same...I'm feeling like this may not be the truth but idk what to do a d I certainly don't want to leave and start celebrating holidays and stuff either because I've always thought it was wrong before baptism but what will I do who will I worship? What will happen to me?
I mean. I understand leaving but I don't want to then do Christmas and Halloween and Easter I just need truth
Thanks for reaching out Touriea.
First of all, sorry to hear about your predicament. It sounds like you're in such a difficult position.
I wouldn't worry too much about celebrating holidays right now. At the minute, you are questioning and deconstructing your beliefs because you know that something isn't right. That process can take months or years. Give yourself time. Things like worrying about doing anything new or building new beliefs at this point will only do harm in the long run.
If you're looking for the truth, you first need to give yourself permission to look properly. You might feel like you can't read certain books or websites or watch certain videos. But if you want real truth, you need to look everywhere...not just at the information prescribed to you by the governing body. Watching RUclips videos is a great first step.
jwfacts.com/watchtower/questionable-watchtower-doctrine.php will help confirm some of your suspicions and help you disconnect some truths and lies especially regarding doctrines.
How your son with Lupus is being treated is so unfair and is a sign that there is no real love among Jehovah's Witnesses. Just a thin veil. My brother had the exact same thing. He had to grow a beard because he had scars on his face. Several elders wanted him to give talks, but the other elders out-voted them in the elder meetings. He is now no longer a Jehovah's Witness.
It sounds like you've accepted that leaving is inevitable, but you aren't sure about what to do after you leave. Honestly, you should probably just give yourself time. Sifting out old beliefs and going through the grieving process can take time.
You might be surprise by how some in your family react when you tell them you no longer believe and you are leaving. To our surprise, some of our family members told us they felt the same. Others, however, doubled down.
Whether friends or family, you will lose people. It is difficult to accept, but when their love is conditional, you come to realize that you actually aren't losing much. There's a whole lot more to it.
We are actually in the middle of working on a video that talks about 5 things you should know if you are waking up. We'll make sure to touch on a few of the tings you mentioned. I hope it helps. Wishing you and your family the very best. Any other questions please do let us know.
Emailing is better (the about section of this channel) because sometimes we can miss comments. We didn't expect so many of them!
Good luck!
Ezekiel 34