God is Dead! | A Review of Reaper's Creek by Onision (Part 1)
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- Onision has somehow, beyond all expectations, written his worst book yet!
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DISCLAIMER: FAIR USE. Title 17, US Code (Sections 107-118 of the copyright law) All media in this video is used for the purpose of review and commentary under the terms of fair use. All footage, music and images used belong to their respective owners.
![MISSING: SLIM SHADY [Expanded Mourner’s Edition Trailer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xh8qgHrOO1g/mqdefault.jpg)
“I’m not excusing him of being a pedophile, I don’t have enough evidence” oh that just aged like wine
No, it aged like kombucha
@@NinjaSox7 But how does it smell?
@@theironmonitor819 worse than pee
@@NinjaSox7 WOOO, WOOOOOOO, WOOOOO, OOOOH MY PATREON'S DELETED, WOOOO MY PATREON, WOOOO
Like milk
james: the light
arthur: the darkness
gregniel: an entire shitshow
Cloudy lolol gregniel
GREGNIEL
greniel: The Chaos Dimension
"Gregniel" sounds like if an angel were a comic relief character.
"It's about a twelve-year-old who gets cool alien powers!"
"Oh cool! Sounds like the kind of book I'd read as a kid!"
"And there's a graphic sex scene."
"WHAT."
Kristin Moody what?
*WHAT.*
Like some SERIOUSLY cringy and gross ben 10 fanfiction
Also, isn't the 16 year old HIS FUCKING SISTER?! Did I miss something? Like gross on so many levels
Greg done fucked up!!
There was technically a school shooting, he was firing arrows at fish.
I'll see myself out.
lmfao
Good one
Lol
Not bad.
Oh no, come back. We aren’t mad. Good job.
We need to appreciate this man. Not only does he read these God-forsaken books so we don't have to, but he wears a Toothless shirt that says Sexy Beast and shows us the cat.
nicki minjaj, god has forbidden me from liking your comment for it has 69 likes. I apologize for the sudden and painful inconvenience. I give my Sincerest extenuation for my Horrendous behavior. Although, I believe that it is my duty to worship and admire the superb number that is 69. Have an illustrious day.
@@kayleenoel3248
This is the weirdest reply I have ever gotten
Well it's not 69 anymore ( ; - ;)
shows us *the cat*
@@kayleenoel3248 marry me
The parts where he "accidentally" self-inserts himself as Greg reminds me of the scene from The Office where Michael wrote a script and made Dwight the dumbass character and replaced his name but missed one "Dwigt"
Addison Allen I WAS THINKING THE SAME AHAHHAHA “ gerg “
Hahaha yes!! 😂
Yess!
Boy wishes he could be half as cool as Agent Michael Scarn
It reminds me more of that episode of How I Met Your Mother where a dude wrote a movie where Ted was obviously the main villain, and how at the end the script gave up and straight up call the antagonist "Ted Mosby."
Everyone: The room was silent
Onion: The room echoed with n o n - a u d i b l e n o i s e
That was non-piquing.
The noise was
UnLiKe AnYtHiNg HeArD On EaRtH.
The thing is, this could work out perfectly if you write a severly insane protagonist...
@@dangerjoe8911 Good point - perhaps Onion could include it in an autobiography
Half the stuff he says in this book could be a surreal meme honestly
"Are periods an uncomfortable subject?"
Of course they are for him. It means they're out of his age range.
Greg likes his girls prepubescent and/or so underweight that their cycle stops
NAURRRR
The way this sent me
for so so so many . . . like guys get grossed out by unused, still wrapped in plastic hygene products and act like they carry a pathogene and act like having to buy them for a girlfriend will make their equipment to fall of . . .
not all, some are decent, but the fact you have to celebrate someone acting normal about it it fucking sad
*Insert black people "OHHHHHHH" reaction meme*
Your comment genuinely made me laugh. Thank you.
Stones to Abigail; “This is the worst book I’ve ever read”
This is why I hate you; “okay no tHIS HAS TO BE THE WORST-“
Reapers Creek; *FURIOUSLY CHOPPING ONIONS* “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Here we have the legendary onion boy, one of the few creatures whom can dive down into the abyss. We've strapped the highest grade of surrvaliance equipment science has developed and we found that the onion boy can go through rock bottom into an entirely different realm.
We dont have much data on this zone but so far we've given it the name, the Daniel Zone.
@@rorrim0 **distorted, ear rape twilight zone theme**
@Digicraftmon the Crystal Gem Only Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann can trully destroy onion boy.
Stones seems like the writings of Shakespeare compared
*Vegetarian body scream*
James was a 'niceguy'
Arther was an 'incel'
And I'm deeply disappointed that Daniel wasn't a 'neckbeard' to complete trinity.
But they all get laid so they can't be those things lol
@@sanfransiscon Ehh. Neckbeards are basically the first two combined but with bad facial hair.
I don't remember which names for were for which books. Thanks greg.
Daniel was a 'Mary Sue'
I mean, maybe he is? Head-canons are allowed afterall
"Let's eat Grandpa."
"Let's eat, Grandpa."
Punctuation matters, Onion Boy.
God! This is the funniest thing I ever read in 3 days!
@@shosty575 LOL, glad you got a good chuckle out of it. 😁
@@cyanide_lollipop3264 Tq
i dont know i think he meant the first one
"Let's help your uncle, Jack, off his horse."
"Let's help your uncle jack off his horse."
Why by the spiraling bouffant of me great Uncle McManus, you may be onto something!
Onision is so unfamilar with periods, even his girlfriends don't have them.
Underrated comment
I believe the average age for a girl to go through puberty is like 11 or 12, so this checks out
@@freindlyspicerun4424 12 is average age for starting a period, not starting puberty. Puberty usually starts earlier rather than at the same time. As long as they haven't finished puberty (i.e they're under 16), Onion will be happy
Bold of you to assume he’s ever had a romantic relationship with anyone of any gender ever.
YIKES
Greg makes wattpad authors look like J.R. Tolkien
Koda Paws Which gives me hope
Koda Paws J.R.R.*
Preach
At least Wattpad stories have semi-likable characteristics akfjgkakf lmao
As a Wattpad author of an admittedly not-so-amazing story.... I resent that. There are people on Wattpad who are legitimately better than LOADS of actually published authors. Not saying there's many of them, but they do exist.
This characterization is so bad that I kept forgetting Daniel was 11 and was genuinely shocked every time it was mentioned
Amelia James i know, me too! the only time that having an 11 year old use such sophisticated language like that is if they’re established to be an extremely intelligent and wellspoken person. but for one daniel isn’t established to be that, and second that only really works in cartoons and things that aren’t trying to be realistic. for example, edd from ed edd n eddy was very smart and had a very wide vocabulary, but because that cartoon wasn’t trying to be realistic and dramatic they were able to make edd, a young boy, as intelligent as an extremely clever adult, because the intelligence is emphasised for plot purposes (such as jokes and having him invent stuff for them to use). but with this book it just doesn’t work when daniel talks like an intelligent adult. idk, sorry about this very incoherent rant XD
@@chaoticcake390 I talked that that as a child, but I didn't have all of the edgy bullshit, I just had a large vocabulary that I liked to use effectively.
Khanay Udash yeah, that’s fair enough. i know that some people in real life are very eloquent at a young age, but with daniel it doesn’t seem like he has the intelligence (at school or with his actions) to be that well spoken. also he doesn’t really ever do it in his dialogue - i noticed in his dialogue he was just direct and simple with his language, and the contrast just doesn’t work. if it was more consistent and he was consistently shown to be an intelligent young boy it probably could have worked. but alas, that didn’t happen because onision wrote this book XD
seems stable and consistent
@@chaoticcake390 you don't need to be all that intelligent to have a decent vocabulary, you just need to be pretentious/ interested in language enough. I used to like using big words a lot when I was Daniel's age and I have the brain cell count of a dust bunny.
He turned off auto correct off because he was annoyed that periods kept coming after double spacing.
Writing a novel on a phone is far worse than any amount of errors
@@maxv7323 *nervously closes the Google docs app on my phone*
Max V writing on a phone is totally doable, but one should NEVER edit on a phone. And no one should do what Onision did and write on a phone with NO editing.
*Deletes stories off his phone on notes*
@@zakai-kaz I totally used to do that. Use what you have when inspiration hits!! You do you, my friend!!
Krimson Rogue: This is the WORST book I have ever read! Look at the notes I took and the tabs I used!
Empress Theresa: Hold my 12 bottles of Coke....
Major props for that comment. Got me to remember the whole coke bottle fiasco in there lol
@@ItsMeVolatility What was the coke bottle fiasco?
@@KaiKrimson56 a dumb as hell escape plan Norman used in the book to save his main character
Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant: Hold my 256 bombs and explosives.
*Handbook for Mortals and the accounting book.*
"Hear a non-audible noise"
I... I think that might sum up Onision's competency in writing.
Non audible noise, thats, something
maybe he’s trying to hint to us that he’s a dog?
47:47 well remember he also has a heart condition that doctors can’t identify and aren’t sure even exists- It’s fine, it’s just that grog exists on a different plane to the rest of us, his intellectual musings just aren’t *understood* yet!
Do I know Onision? Nope
Is english my first language? Nope
Am I going to sit throught two full video of a man absolutely destroying Onisions' book? Hell yes
Believe me when I say you don't want to know Onision. You really don't.
If you decide you do despite a warning, Repzion has talked about him a lot. :P
@@psychsoma after watching both these videos I can proudly say I have no intention on watching any of his content lol
Maria Elisa Nasso I wish I could go to an alternate universe where my brain has no idea of what an Onision is....
@@stefannydvorak7919 SAME, omg he is just so creepy
What’s your first language?? :)
Other writers: *[usually] improves the more they write*
Onision: *gets worse*
Onision must've taken a huge amount of the rhymester's share (If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out the story of the Mead of Poetry).
Me tho lol
He gets more violent and murdery?
@@jonsnor4313 Suppose so. There are two types of people who get more violent and murdery and they are onion boy, apparently, and actual murderers. I'm a little concerned about him now
"Now MY spring break was ruined becauase I had to think about a dead baby." That is the perfect description of how Greg's mind works. He is such a narcissist he cant fathom empathizing with anyone else's tragedy.
Fanfic writers: Make real plans, work on making characters, work on making a sensible plot, may actually ask friends to proofread, will most likely take constructive critiscism
Onion: nO cRiTiScIsM pLeAsE i DoNt NeEd It
When fanfic writers (not counting the exceptional ones) have higher standards than you, you've reached a new low.
sarah p.
I’ve read more good fanfics than Onision has written good paragraphs.
I write stories on Wattpad and my friend helps me edit and even points out if any of my characters do something out of character and she helps me worldbuild (something I need to definitely work on)
@@bea4828 every writer of any caliber wants a friend like that. I'm jealous. What type of stories do you write?
@@left-2-write28 I like to switch from different genres. But mostly fantasy. I hardly ever do romance, its just not my cup of tea.
I used to write stories a lot like Onision does.
Then I turned 8 years old.
that got an audible chuckle from me
Same
Then I graduated 4th grade
i am sure they were not that bad XD
-With the sex scenes and everything-
Honestly the prose reminds me of when I was 8-10 years old
ahh, yes, as a sister I can relate to the first world problem of disappearing at random times.
Haha I do that
@gamewizard I sick as in cool or sick as in disturbing?
@gamewizard I I think its because youtube doesn't ways notify you when someone replies to one of your comments, at least its happened to me
@gamewizard I I think she's replying to OP about sometimes disappearing because of being a sister.
My older sister does that too.
Stones To Abigale: "I'm a dark and brooding badass."
This is Why I Hate You: "I'm a dark and brooding badass KILLER."
Reaper's Creek: "I'm a dark and brooding badass GOD KILLER!"
It like the kids who say "i blocked that with my forcefeild" but in an actual "book"
Daniel is basically "Don't fuck with me! I have the power of god AND anime on my side!"
God killers are actually pretty cool. Soulsborne protags, Kratos, etc.
Yes, I know. Onision's self-insert doesn't count, just wanted to be nerdy
@@anaionescu8913that kid has more self awareness AND coolness than Onision and his self-inserts.
So is no one going to bring up the hypocrisy of.
"My backwoods are like my best friends."
After he tried the whole Gofund me for demolition work for the ecosystem behind his house.
As an aside. The more I listen the more I wonder. Are the aliens trying to protect humanity from Greg?
@@subtotalaljar3620 probably, yeah
@@subtotalaljar3620 That would be pretty fucking interesting. I am aware of the Death of the Author philosophy and understand that isn't Onision's intention, but I would much prefer a story where the protagonist is the bad guy and aliens are the good guy. I think that was called Metro?
@@WillieManga Is that what the aliens are doing in Metro? I guess I should read the books.
@@subtotalaljar3620 Sort of. There are these things in Metro called The Dark Ones who have an alien nature to them.
SPOILERS
It's revealed in the end that they were evolved people who don't directly attack humans. They instead attempt to make peaceful contact with humans, but their psychic capabilities are kind of akin to a cosmic horror, in that normal humans are unable to comprehend it. The character can see some of their peaceful messages, but is unable to understand their intent until just before he rains down death upon them.
Calling it now, His fourth book will be only tabs and everything is highlighted
It's all one 400 page long sex scene
@@sanfransiscon With a minor, we can't forget the minor. It's Greg's signature.
@@hazelmykitten1067 during a school shooting
@@theoledicktwist6247 that he roller skated into
@@sabrinapapa7224 While wearing a trench coat
Whenever I get discouraged with my writing, I remember that Onionboy will always be worse.
A good reminder that you can apply to anything really. No matter how bad you are at something, onion will always be worse
Same sometimes I'm like hmm... is this line coming across right.....Eh better then stones to Abigail
I'm writing a story of my own right now. Sometimes I get discouraged and worry that my writing just isn't good. Then I remember, I will always be better than onion boy because I'm actually putting in effort.
Thanks, writing now gonna use that advice along with the advice in the video
Yeah. Just remember, so long as you’re putting in effort, you will always be better than Onision. It’s just another fact of life at this point 🤷♀️
Greg acts like every single woman is attracted to him,
I assure you, we aren't.
The Mr. Bean profile picture is really the cherry on top of this comment.
@@bardaaa1483 It actually is narcissistic. If what he writes in his books is actually how he thinks, then he needs serious help.
@@bardaaa1483 He thinks in a way that can be--and has been--extremely harmful to himself and others. His actions can't be excused just because "he thinks differently."
@@bardaaa1483 except he's wrong, lmfao
@@bardaaa1483 the fuck?
You look like someone tried to draw Keanu Reeves from memory and accidentally made him an English major
Lol, nice!
He looks like a nerdy Jesus too
Natasha Peaches I usually go with nerdy, good-looking Jesus. XD
this a god tier comment
Thanks, now I can't unsee it
greg: my best friend is the woods uwu
*insert clip of him bulldozing the woods in his backyard, illegally*
Bersa Brie
Unless Greg proved that don’t take his word for it
Right?!
Bersa Brie
Shit now I feel like an idiot
@Bersa Brie that or be chained for a week in is basement with a sign around her neck apologising (to Kai) for lying
@Bersa Brie ah, okay ^^*
My texts to my husband asking him to get milk are more well-written and engaging than anything Onision has ever crapped out.
"Oh, husband dearest, I am asking you- nay, BEGGING you, to aquire some of the cow nectar."
@Salivar Ravilas :)
@@theolddeus9672 How do you favorite a comment?
@@tirzxh remember it? Idk
S. McGraw is he back yet?
I think the way I would introduce the stillborn baby would be something like:
_By chance, I looked up from whatever I was doing. A distant red glow moved in a straight line, obscured behind the wall. It traveled at the speed of a car up our gravel driveway. "Somebody bagged a dear, probably." I perked at the thought of venison for dinner. The glow came up the driveway, came through the sliding glass door. On second thought, it was small. Like a chicken dinner. Less fun, but whatever. I could've used a break from homework at that moment. I rounded the corner. My face fell. It was a pregnant woman's stomach._
Shitty rough draft of a scene there, but I guess you get the idea.
And yet, instantly more gripping and relatable. If there were more scenes like that, I might not have been as harsh on the book.
@@KrimsonRogue That's high praise! Holy shit, thank you, my man!
@@ObeyBunny Honestly apart from one lil typo, that was actually really well written. :D
(Not trying to be a dick about the typo. Just saying that it's there. ^^)
It’s sad when a random RUclips commenter can write a scene better than this so called “Author”.
@@KrimsonRogue It's better than those "LENTILS FOR DINNER"
Your cat was trying to save you. He says, "Pay attention to me!! I'm more interesting than Onion boy's books."
Chad Schmaltz I wouldn’t say that these books aren’t interesting. They’re analogous to a train wreck full of burning clowns. Interesting, but not fun to look at.
@@davelife3324 wow your a better writer than onion boy!
I feel that Ash was trying to tell Rogue that he, an illiterate feline unable to read or understand human language, would still understand how objectively awful Onision's book is.
Maybe it's a therapy cat and it sensed that he needed some emotional support to push through this.
Greg's middle name is Daniel, just to let you all know. This is most definitely not a self-insert, right???? RIGHT???!!!??!!!
*sighs*
Nawww dude, I dunno WHERE you’d get THAT idea 🙄
Wrong
I wonder if he'll use his last name in his next book.
Oh no, he wouldn’t be THAT transparent, would he ???? Sigh, shaking my head vigorously....nooooooooooooooo 🤣🤣🤣👿
I can already tell that the story of Krimson getting a cat off of his chair will be an infinitely more engaging tale than whatever Onion-boy has for us today.
Plus a lot cuter because orange cute cat
It's amazing too. It's entertaining, and I feel a connection to the main character.
@@radiatorbacon5239 the main character being the cat of course
Spoiler alert: it was
@@theoledicktwist6247 why of course. The plot was amazing. When his tail curled I felt as if I had read 1000 books 1000 times over
so, fun fact: i impulse wrote a bad fanfiction in 2018 because i felt like it. there was no plot, foreshadowing, or meaningful character depth, mostly because i felt like writing and i was 13. in the first 25 (there were 50) chapters i consistently used the wrong their/there/they’re, your/you’re and to/too, and there were multiple pov changes and a few accidental tense changes. i wholeheartedly believe it is better than this.
Oh, same. back in 2020 when I was still in High School or something, I began working on a mecha story cause I couldn't find any and was too lazy to watch mecha anime.
A year and a half later, I've written a grand total of 2 chapters, with both of those chapters having so much stuff I need to fill in that I may as well have a single unfinished chapter. I also have no clue how to continue it beyond that, cause despite my ability to plan ahead, I'm bad at writing out the words and procrastinate way too often.
Yet, this 1/30th or so of a book with very little editing (and probably a lot of mistakes) is infinitely better than whatever Onion guy made.
I have dyslexia and I still believe I make less mistakes when I write my stories
XD
When I was in middle school I used to write Y/N Hetalia fanfiction and I think that is ALSO better than anything Onision has ever written
ive written fanfic since around 6th grade, i’m 21 now. i’m confident in saying i’m a good writer now, and my fics are good. my very first wattpad fanfic where i didn’t know to break up paragraphs with line breaks was better than reaper’s creek.
@@sh4rkb4itwho asked?
"God is dead, and we have killed him, you and I." -Friedrich Nietzsche to Onision after reading this book.
I loved that scene in the anime, but it was so much more intense in the manga.
God rapidly ceased existing? But how?!
Was there holy water involved?
watching this after onision being accused of pedophilia with heavy evidence makes me sad that we literally missed another warning sign which is that book
kinda sad looking back on it. i wish we could've caught this sooner
The CP in his third book is actually based on his personal life. It's not really an issue per se until you realize he's glorifying it (or at the *very* least make it sound like it's something beautiful and romantic).
There are some who always saw it. Honestly if it weren't for those like Repzion and Blaire White i don't think he and Kai would have been investigated like they are now. The first couple of interviews with Hansen were with them. So glad that they spoke up for as many years as they have! Repzion has been exposing Greg for 9 years.
@@edenkentner Repzion has truly been fighting the good fight.
@@left-2-write28 no doubt about it!
Onision's books are like the perfect example of when Narcissists try to write. They refuse to let their work be edited, their work has unironically creepy themes with zero self-critique or self-analysis, the self-insertion is painfully obvious because they can't imagine the experience of anyone but themselves, and any critique they get falls on deaf ears and is chalked up to stupidity ("people are too stupid to get what I was going for") or haters ("people are just jealous").
Edited to include self-insertion
just like rick sanchez?
uberpwner48 yeah but at least Rick is smart
@@uberpwner48 yeah except in hit case, he's given reasons to think so highly of himself (or at least so lowly of everything else)
I don't understand why is onision so hated.
@@uberpwner48 The main difference being that ricks narcissistic personality is seen as one of his biggest flaws
Onision doesn't know how to human. He can't write them because he doesn't know how they think. It's a common trait in sociopaths.
In every book of his, has he called most characters humans or insert anything you would never call people, it's like all his mc's are aliens on earth while being a humongous narssasists and psychopaths.
Or maybe... He is one of the Aliens from his book?
dum-dum-dum!
O.o
When Onision has been raging on Roblox and it reflects in his writing:
“Go commit rapidly cease existing”
This needs to be pinned.
“Go commit rapidly cease existing.” Literary genius. Honestly, I don’t know how onion boy does it!
I like this comment but it’s on 420 so take my appreciation here
That is an actual quote? Did the man not have an editor who speaks English?
I love the evolution of the titles:
- Nihilistic Cringe
- Second Verse, Worse Than The First!
- *_God is Dead!_*
Edit: HOLY SHIT!! That's the most likes I've ever gotten on a RUclips comment tysm guys!
I wonder what the next one is going to be, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here"?
Lmao I thought God is Dead was the title of the book at first, this is golden
@@ChilledNeon Me too! X'D
This is abysmally off topic but I love your icon
@@charlienot-my-real-name3123 Aww thank you!
The L kept disappearing from Phill's name because Onision was too busy holding it.
Ooooooooooooooh daaaaaaaaaaaam
The best comment I've ever read loool
What’s the “L”?
@@Therebesquare glad im not the only one who doesn't have a clue 😅
@@Therebesquare basically it means that someone made something very, very bad
My fiancé listened to this part 1 and he said, “that...that zapped literal energy from my brain. I was energized when I came here. And now I’m tired. Onision has killed my brain cells and now I have to say...I hate him. I feel like I need to go get hooked on phonics. Like I need to read Plato. Like I need to beat Onision with actual books.”
You need to engrave your entire comment on a plaque.
You then need to send the plaque to Onision, and ask to watch him open it. Say it's something that's been commissioned by the US gov't to thank him for his service.
Just so you get to watch his face fall and his soul crack beneath the weight of his failure.
You’re fiancé is brilliant lol
I want this on a shirt... ASAP
im in your house and i have a gun
@@katatonikbliss fun fact: I am in your walls
"God is rapidly ceasing to exist"
Fixed the title
underrated comment
Rapidly.
You now, that actually almost works
maybe the title should read: Maeby Gawd are Rapitdly Caesnig to exist: by Onion given his bad typos
Congratulations, this comment might have become the title of the next part.
He did it
The absolute mad man.
He wrote a trilogy of hot garbage.
But anyone could do it, hell I could but I would have to try since my eyes bleed at the slightest typo I make when I'm writing.
@@dragenfire68 no writing garbage is an art in itself
@@lop90ful1 well, it takes skill to write garbage but accidentally make something of worth IE jaws which was supposed to be B-movie hot garbage.
Everybody's reaction to George Lucas when Star Wars Ep. 3 released
Any decent writer: this dude died
Onision: r a pi d l y c e a s e e x i s t i n g
tfw applying "Said is dead" to, well, "dead". Making "Said is rapidly ceasing to exist".
sounds like me when i was 8 trying to replace normal words with "fancier" ones
Reminded me about the game 'Yiik' and it's elevator scene... The elevator that wasn't just 'shaking' but also 'vibrating with motion'.
@@kasiajarzebska3739 bruh lol, i suppose that _is_ one way to put it
He Is Demontized. SO He's Slowly Dying MORE Painfully! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUFFER ONION BOY! SUFFER!!!!!
“God is dead, and Onision has punched him in the throat or something.” -Nietzsche, probably
Is that a reference to Mumkey Jones' Vincent and Duane Trilogy?
“Non-audible noise” i just wanna hear how onion boy defends that line
Answer: I couldn't pronounce it, so I put it in to sound smart.
Even a tasteless taste makes more sense.
It could work if it was used in a situation like a tree falling in the woods with no one around to hear it. We know it should make a noise but we cant hear the noise if were not near. But Onision used the actual sentence “HEAR a NON-audible noise” and it just... no
Onision needs to rapidly cease existing.
“iT oBvIoUsLy NoT aUdIBle tO hUmAnS, aS a FaN aNd TrUe SuPpOrTeR YoU WoULd KnOW!”
"darkness created by my own eyes. I opened them."
this *sent* me
And remember, this is a story you're to take seriously.
@You’re Breathtaking UwU Open your eyes... look up to the skies and seeeeeeee...
It's even more verbose and somehow at the same time less literate than Eye of the Argon. At least that story, and My Immortal, are good for a laugh, because ultimately, they're both inoffensively bad. Onision is the epitome of being offensively, tastelessly bad.
As someone who grew up genuinely isolated and lonely, I do understand the whole 'the woods are my friend' thing, but like... they were my friend because I could wander in them and day dream for hours. Not because I anthropomophized the trees.
same. Not an impossible characterisation, but just a very poorly realised one.
Even local necro*, Jervas Dudley, would look down on -Greg- our protagonist for that.
I think if anyone starts to anthropomorphize trees to the point you consider them genuine friends, they've got bigger problems than just loneliness
Onision: the world’s first tree furry
@@XamiNaxamis that just sounds constant drug use.
It struck me....all of Onision's school love interests have names that start with an A. Abbigale, Ashley, Audrey/Abrey.....
He recently changed his daughters name to abbigale 😳
@@alice-8566 You don't think he's gonna...... right??? 😟
@@alice-8566 HE HAS A DAUGHTER???
@@alice-8566 Hol' up-
I think those are the names of his underage fans on his discord,also they all hate eugenia cooney for some reason...and is ''ashley''ashley weill???she's obsessed with eugenia.
This man reading Onisions book should be classified as self harm
😂😂😭
Get this poor man to a therapist
With the amount of braincells you loose and the mental harm definitely XD
this book is genuinely less well-composed than a warrior cats fanfiction that I wrote in 4th grade
WARRIOR CATS
My former medicine cat turned deputy with over twenty kits that I made in like 5th grade is also a better written character than half of the characters in this story too-
My 4th grade Winx Club role plays were better composed than this
Evan This is less well-composed than my actual cats' fanfiction of Warrior Cats.
This book is absolutely less composed then my creepypasta fanfiction that I wrote in 8th grade.
So on brand.
Onision book #1: it couldn't get worse
Onision book #2: it couldn't get worse
Onision book #3: it couldn't get worse
Onision book #4: it got worse.
Exceeds expectations sometimes.
Just in all the wrong ways.
Onision book #17: It cannot possibly ever in a million years get any worse
Onision book #128: It’s going to get worse
@@no-man_baugh #300 So bad it's Banned by governments across the world and now has become the main method of torture.
truth is, everything in this book was real, but Onision is such a humble god that he erased our memories of having steel fingernails and vagina teeth
Maybe he was such a bad god, he accidentally reversed the whole thing
Weird he's friends with a creek considering what he does to his wetlands.
Savage
It's actually an entirely accurate representation of his 'friendships', if you think about it- needlessly rip them to shreds under the guise of 'improvement'. Good catch.
😂😂👍
"Sometimes I feel like my real friends are the woods that surround my house, the creek that runs by it ... they don't leave me, they don't lie to me--"
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN, THESE WOUNDS, THEY WILL NOT HEAL!
7.5/10 for this book. There was no skating and no school shooting that Greg, I mean Daniel, stopped. Points for edge, tho
Linkin park doesnt deserve this
They're his friends that don't leave him until he bulldozes them down and has the government have to step in to stop him.
"I don't need friends, they dissapoint me."
Maybe thats why he destroyed those trees, he got into a fight with his frienda
"And his two sisters, one of which doesn't always exist."
You know, if this was by a better writer, that sentence would fill me with optimism and intrigue. As it is, it's got me pumped to see Krim tear Onision a new one.
@@vxmpdxll7342 and in the context of this book it could be that she is a Manifestation of some of his feelings
Jay Bloodworth Right? If it was a good writer that description would make me wonder. "What does he mean? Why doesn't she always exist?" But with the quality of these stories, you can almost be certain that it's a mistake.
“I’ll leave it up to you to decide what events really happened, and what is a product of creativity”: the introduction to a book in which an 11 year old boy meets aliens, is hunted down by assassins, gains godlike powers, commits genocide against an entire race and changes the fabric of the universe.
I’m wondering if the whole alien/God/superpowers thing wasn’t intended to begin with, it was meant to be just about this normal self insert kids life but then onision got distracted and wrote a self insert power fantasy.
He's probably writing about hallucinations he had.
Now! I know this is coming out of left field, but I feel like most of this book is made up
the fact that the only thing that feels like it’s “grounded” in reality is the stat r*pe is really concerning.
Him: *reads a horrifying dream scene*
Me: Wow I’m nauseous
Him: Now we’re getting to the bad part
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT WASNT THE BAD PART
Honestly I found the book inspirational. If someone can write and publish a book this godawful, then I can DEFINITELY turn the hacky bullshit I write into a novel. Thank you, onion-chan!
I don't think any of his books were published. I think he was self publisher (for first one it was for sure)
All of Onion boi books are self published
Nextralife dude actually same though
Pretty sure it is self publish. No publisher who wasnt drugged into agreeing would ever say yes
@@ilopominecrafter that's a catch 22. The amount of drugs it would take to make you agree to publish this would almost certainly kill you first
“I can dream better than anyone.”
Weird flex but ok.
Who is he? Max from Sharkboy and Lavagirl?
Blake Gilbert
No he dreams better
“I can dream better than anyone.” Luigi would like to know your location.
@@smugalice6206 dream dream dream dream dream dream
@@johnnygreenface4195 I have a video that would go well with this.
ruclips.net/video/I4rc-x6Cyqs/видео.html
I'm so fascinated by the idea that anyone would actually say "illigal drugs" in their thoughts, like why do all his inner monologues sound like a lizard person?
I feel that an actual lizard person would probably connect to humans better than Onision would.
@@crowdemon_archives true
Illuminati confirmed. Hes using terrible books to distract us from the ever consuming secret society
Jeez, even his feud with Billie Dawn Webb is bleeding into this shitty story.
because he is.
so lemme get this straight, not only do i get End game, Game of thrones' largest battle to date BUT I also get you slam dunking on a emo man baby's crayon scribblings once again? THIS IS A GREAT TIME INDEED!
It's Christmas in April
Right? Good times!
@@cameronpeterson6734 Hey, no need to be hurtful. I know lots of kids whose crayon art is wonderful.
I wholeheartedly concur.
Then ep 3 s 8 finally comes out and you get just sad 😭 why D&D whhhhhyyyu
"Wow, these alien abductions are really getting repetitive"
I actually WAS able to use that sentence - one time when I was playing the sims, one of them got abducted 3 nights in a row.
So did mine. Then had triplets. 😭
My sims rarely get. Yesterday, 1 sim was.
i wanted her brother to be abducted
I think it might have something to do with that sims' stats.
@@NothingOfNoteToSeeHere love that
What? That can happen? In which Sims Game?
Greg wrote it in Notepad. He didn't want to pay for Word. He couldn't understand OpenOffice.
Oh my god. You can't be serious. *Notepad????*
Wait, deadass? Because that would explain a lot
This man claims to be so goddamn smart and he didn't bother to try Google Docs???? Ridiculous.
If you don't want word, just make a gmail account and write it in Google fucking drive itS NOT THAT HARD
HE LITERALLY COULDA USED WORDPARD INSTEAD OR GOOGLE DOCS. BOTH ARE FREE AND WORK PERFECTLY FINE HOLY SHIT
“3, 2, 1, you’re wrong it was aliens.” Beautiful, this is a better twist than onision ever wrote
It’s like that one episode of The Simpson’s where Marge wrote a book that was a self-insert where she accidentally wrote the heroine’s name as Marge for like 5 pages
As always, The Simpsons did it first.
And they still did it better
@@offsetukulele8130 at this point that one Ugandan film company could do better than mister greasy hair Onision.
Edit: they DO do it better than Onision.
Some Skeptic oh yeah at least they’re possibly self aware.
Then there’s Onision
I actually unironically love who killed captain alex
Eleven year olds have the self preservation skills of someone whose met god and wasn't impressed
and not the Prince of Egypt God more of the 10 commandments god
How to summarize this book in four words: *_This ain't it, chief._*
Or, more concisely:
_y i k e s_
@@peanutbuttersandwich5735 indeed.
How about
Help Get me out
More like *NO.*
The matter presented here is not what is desired, chieftain
I think the best “powers with consequences” story I’ve seen so far is Madoka. And the fact it blindsides you with pretending to be another “kid gains magic powers, monster of the week who threatens her city, she and her friends fight, everything turns out fine” deal at first is handled fantastically
PMMM power dynamics, literally the definition of "either dying a hero or living/suffering long enough to become a villain"
I love that show. I love the magical girl theme entirely like transformations, magic, outfits, everything that leads up to how and why they become one and PMMM takes a turn when you realize it's not this happy, bubbly Mahou Shoujo. It's dark, and beautiful in a scary, sad way.
In the same vein, the anime Yuuki Yuuna is a hero deals with a similar premise. While I still prefer Madoka for how blind I went into watching that anime at the time and how truly well executed it is, Yuuki Yuuna still devastated me.
Same!
Madoka started out cute and then had me sobbing by the end
Power move on your part, releasing this the morning after Onision started copyright claiming everyone
Agreed
There is nothing he can do about a book review . He doesn’t use any of Greg’s videos
@@commissaryarrick9670 the content idea system has never actually functioned all of Greg's claims are false literally every single one and yet he still holds the power to remove videos take monetization and overall be a dick on a power trip
heydoeradio so lionsgate and many other movie studios?
@@ilopominecrafter I would like more giving part of the money to some movie studio, maybe they will be able to make better movie with some more (if it was a rant video) and if it was good, well, wouldn't mind too much too, it's their work and I used it.
But Onision is an unchangeable piece of crap that I wouldn't touch even with 5 meters long stick.
I try not to compare myself to other writers, but I’m thirteen and my fanfics seem like literary masterpieces in comparison
Update: I’m seventeen now and a fanfiction writer on AO3. My writing isn’t perfect, but at least it’s better than Onision’s.
You know what? I believe it.
Shhhh dont tell youre underage when onions name is mentioned
King Harlaus Oh shit you’re right
You also seem to have a better understanding of the English language.
Novaya Draws It’s okay. Onion Boy is so afraid of criticism that he’ll ignore that this video even exists.
I wish the scene with the stillborn was much, much more serious. It's a heartbreaking situation. Imagine your friend is pregnant, but only for you to gain the ability and see the dead *glow* and you just so happen to see her stomach gleaming. How would you tell her? Should you tell her? It would be amazing internal conflict for the character.
That's an amazing idea!
India Fox Aww, thank you!
We're talking about onion bitch. While that is a great idea, *do you think onion bitch's smooth brain will be able to think of this idea?*
Chaotic Hooman
Fair point. Might as well take the idea for my own. But knowing Onion Boy, he'll sue me...
@@totallynotajellyfish it's okay, just say you were inspired by his wonderful writing. He's narcissistic as it is, flattery would expand his ego enough to let you get away 👍
The whole 'self insert' bit gets so much more fun when you learn that Daniel was his birth name.
“I sincerely hope this wasn’t written with children in mind.”
Well with recent occurrences I’m pretty sure it was written with children in mind.
Okay, I’m sorry I’ll see myself out.
I am just in the comments for my ticket to hell because I had a good laugh over that comment.
Ba dum tsss
The 'rapidly cease existing' part made me think of the time where I read something online and instead of saying blood, they said 'life support liquid'
“Hello, I would like to donate some life support liquid.”
Twilight : "Sunny-shiny kind-of-rapey life support liquid suckers"
@@no-man_baugh yes, but I'm wondering, how much LIFE SUPPORT LIQUID will be taken out of my body to make me CEASE EXISTING
I think of the Roblox's "go commit not live" meme.
it vaguely reminds me of that trop in ameteur fanfiction where eyes are described as "orbs"
“Greg if this was written for children i will be calling the police on you” *can* *you* *or* *someone* *else* *just* *do* *that* *anyway*
Someone called the feds and that someone is Chris "Pedo-Slayer" Hansen.
so zen
Turns out the FBI has been looking into Gurgle even before Chris started looking into him. Chris has done an amazing job at streamlining the process. Gosh bless Chris Hansen
Good news!
*walks in from the future* Hey OP you may wanna look at this
Good news op
Ok listen up. I’ve been noticing a trend in how Onision writes his mom in the books, and I'm trying to illustrate this with my very own experiences.
See, up until a year ago, I loved my mother like nothing else in the entire world, going so far as to stay with her when she moved out of my dad's house, even though I realized it meant a life in poverty (she isn’t earning much because she can’t be stressed, can’t even work the full 8 hours). My entire 15 years until that day I always loved my mom more than my dad, enjoyed her company more and even believed her when she spoke about how my dad was 'manipulating' her and all the bad things she spread about him.
However, around February/March 2020, she kicked me out of the house, suddenly and without forewarning. With all the screaming and destroying furniture that comes with it. That night, as I was stumbling through the night without shoes, a phone or even a jacket (I leapt out of the window in fear, we lived on the ground floor), that was the single most terrified I’ve ever been. Every few steps I turned around, afraid she was following me, and I didn’t sleep two more days after that even as I was safe at my dad's house until I eventually collapsed.
Now, a year later, I'm pretty sure I know what led to that. My mom has diagnosed depression, always had even when I was a kid, but that’s no excuse. She’d been manipulating me into believing the things dad did for me and her always had some malicious background. And around the time of her kicking me out, I’d started to hang out more with my dad, even openly questioning whether or not she was actually as much of a victim as she was making herself out to be.
Hell, I even just realized that she was making fun of my dad when he contacted her about potentially suicidal thoughts.
The point I'm trying to make is that I assume that Onisions mother abused him in an emotional way just they way my own mother did, but he just never came to fully realize it. And I assume that he’s unconsciously trying to process that trauma in his books.
As I said, there is absolutely no proof to what I'm saying, it’s just the way I’d interpret how his mom always seem neglectful yet loved by his self-inserts.
And, this was kinda therapeutic to talk about, so thanks for reading all the way through.
Almost a year late, but I hope you’re doing much better now
Hope you're doing OK now. Take care of yourself.
I hope you’re doing better!
Thank you for writing this all out.
In many ways I feel that I can relate to this.
My mother spent many years in an institute and I helped her through all of this from 9 -16 (when I left for good). Through the drugs, electroshock, all of it, I did everything and was told how terrible my father was. Unfortunately I was going through my own kind of grooming and becoming her caretaker/surrogate spouse.
But it gets both complicated and dull from there.
Woah. That's messed up, not gonna lie. And it's sad that things like these have to happen in the first place. In all honesty, I hope you're in a better mental place now, and I wish you the best.
I remember reading a book and seeing 1 typo and thinking it was odd and even somewhat unprofessional, 316!? How!?
No editing. Onion is like Pokemon, when it comes to typoes o.O
He refuses to have them edited, and apparently doesn't have autocorrect.
Forget Onion Bitch having majored in English, a grade schooler would make less mistakes. A grade schooler. A. Grade. Schooler. Better than Onion Bitch.
editors are great people when you’re publishing a book. the fact that onion boy over here is most likely flat our refusing one is an obvious sign this book won’t be good
@@iwakeupandboomimarat oh, he did refuse an editor. one of his patreons offered to do it for free, and he was like "NO!" and took it personally
*watches video*
"Suddenly my Frozen/Mortal Kombat fanfiction from freshmen year doesn't seem all that bad."
I'm intrigued
Link please.
*raises eyebrow*
Interesting. Can I get a link?
Elsa Joins the Lin Kuei
pretty sure ive read it ! xD
this book makes me want to “rapidly cease existing”
No speed would be rapid enough
/fill ~ ~ ~ ~ ~1 ~ minecraft:stone
@@thenderyoshi i get that joke i like that
Onion wrote fanfic of himself, that’s a level of narcissism I’ve never seen before
Have you ever heard of Ernest Cline and Chris-Chan?
I mean, Dante's Inferno is a self insert fanfiction
*The God Narcissus has entered the chat.*
@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 At least Dante’s Inferno was well written.
Self insert fanfic/writing is fairly common, but it's not _usually_ this painfully blatant.
“He decided to double space everything”
*i physically recoiled*
I got a headache. 🤕
The thought of that hurts my soul...
I had to pause to breath. Holy shit.
Yeah, I gagged...
*a b s o l u t e l y b a r b a r i c*
Krimson: Think of the dumbest answer of what this foreshadowing could have been
Me: Aliens
Krimson: You're wrong it was aliens
Me: Wait-
Task failed successfully
You were only wrong because Greg didn't capitalize aliens
bongos mcDongos that comment deserves about a million slow claps.
I thought monkeys so you did better than me 😅 it was just the first thing that came to mind for some reason.
"3 2 1 you're wrong it's aliens"
(Watching this after the Empress Theresa episodes)
"I went through 4 packs of tabs!"
Awww, that's adorable.
Someone send a copy of this book to Chris Hansen in an envelope labeled "Evidence"
Will do
@Psy Duck knowing what we know, knowing what we don't know. This is gonna change our world
Psy Duck It could be. One of OJ Simpson‘s workout tapes was used in his murder case as evidence. Because the defense tried to argue he wasn’t capable of committing the murder so the prosecution use the workout tape as evidence of his fitness
Unfortunately, evidence sent to Chris Hansen ends up just sitting at some douche named Vincent DeCosta’s house for a few months.
It was such a shame finding out Hansen is a fraud.
J Berg and that info I only found out from Jontron and find the fact hilarious
I really want "three, two, one- you're wrong it was aliens" on a shirt now.
Best idea ever. I need that shirt.
Homestucks do not have free speech
@Callium 413 oof
me too! id design/print it if krimson wanted!
@@coreopsis6163 Pretty tough coming from someone with 413 in their name.
You know what, as an English teacher I just found a good source to let students practice story writing: by correcting Onision-books. lol
edit: I'm not serious about that. Calm down.
Sheytopia don’t subject children to that sort of abuse
theyre very impactful on the teenage mind, even teaching their flaws is risky
If it's high school, don't...
If it's college...go ahead...
But I'm guessing it's high school (even though I want to read his books just to know just how fucked up he is...all without buying the books...)
while i applaud your courage i don't think the subject matters present in these books are entirely appropriate for anyone to see without being absolutely disgusted
the onion man wrote fucking child porn in this one for christ sake
Also a teacher here....
Told my boss about it.....
Then she pass that idea to our disipline office and they labelled it down as Capital Punishment.
“I don’t want to die, I just long to rapidly cease existing.” This is my new life mantra.
"don't worry partner, I'm not going to rapidly cease to exist" - Gol D Roger
This book makes me want to
*R A P I D L Y C E A S E E X I S T I N G*
RAPID LYCEA SEEX ISTING
Same
Me
😂😂😂😂😂
@@achooe5443 FRE SHAVACA DO
😂 I cant unseen it now that you wrote it out that way
I want onision to continue writing just so I can experience it through krimson
Honestly? Same. Some garbage deserves to exist to point and laugh at.
I'd fear for krimsons health.
English professors could use them as examples of what not to do when writing.
Its a pity too. Reaper's Creek is too badass a title to be wasted on this heresy.
More like a title for a map from Halo kinda like Blood Gulch
Sorry, but to me it sounds more like an edgy version of Dawson's Creek ...
That was my feeling about Handbook For Mortals...badass title but the book is...think what would happen if Onision’s books had a rainbow-haired love child with Twilight: New Moon.
I was thinking the same thing about the cover. I like it. What a waste.
Tbh just sounds like overwatch smut
I love how much Onionman went after StrangeAeons so hard when she still had some semblance of civility. Krimson destroys his books (as one should) but I'm guessing he can't mock him for not being an unattractive chick so he ran out of things to roast him on.
Strange a qt idk what onionshit is talking about
Remember when he rated her an 8.6 in one of his videos? He can't even mock her for being unattractive because we know he really thinks the opposite lmaoo
Strange is hot as fuck, the onion is just mad
Probably a sign of misogyny, when you think about it
He will gladly talk trash about the young woman who is at least civilly trashing his book
But is radio silent about the fellow man who has made hour long rants basically saying he does not know how the world works when it comes to writing
@@frootsnacc6790Onionboi transcends misogyny and misandry. He sees all men as nonentities, and women as objects made to worship him. He's hateful and evil to both, but since he thinks a woman's role is to fawn over him, he takes particular offense to hearing one criticize him.
The autocorrect didn't work because he wrote it in Note Pad, not an actual writing app lmao. Like Google docs is free man even it has autocorrect.
Notepad is only for coding, taking notes in lecture, and making to do lists
@@DrCandyStriper 13 year old me begs to differ lmao. I used to write fanfiction in notepad because it was all I had. My old computer wouldn't run Microsoft word for some reason (never learned why) and my house didn't have wifi until 3 years later (I lived a good ways out of town). So I used notepad for a full like, year and a bit. Ah the memories.
Notepad++ is a thing. Free and you can do any word based thing ever.
@@gotholives yeah I use Google docs for word now~
And Google Docs doesn't even have the best autocorrect, but it would still fix a lot of grammatical errors in this book
As much as I hate Onion's books, I think feeding these books to an AI and seeing what it comes up with would be hilarious
Oh my God! Yes!
It would gain sentience so it could delete itself.
Why would you do that to the poor thing
Please don't, that's probably why Skynet hates us in this timeline
I actually don't want AI spewing CP at me thank you
YES! After hearing Onision's abusing the copyright system on people using his clips & criticizing him, I NEED something like this!
Wouldn't be surprised if he came after this one too because onion fragility.
Oh God he's so insufferable
He legitimately couldn't, though. For one, Krimson isn't using any clips of Onision himself outside of maybe a still or 2 & talking about him. Second, this is an actual review with deep criticisms. Onision only strikes down videos that he knows he can try to do that to. He would have NO legal stance of which to back up any of his claims that these videos violate copyright because it's just Krimson talking about the book. Frankly, the copyright owners of the clips Krim uses to exsensuate his points or comedy would have more of a right to claim parts of this video than Onision would.
Scsigs I know, I was being semi sarcastic. I wish it was full sarcasm, but onision tries to do a lot of things that he can't do. I'll take a gofundme page to pay for government fines for 500, Alex.
@@insertname193 He claims to be quitting RUclips
According to others I'm a pretty decent writer. Personally I'm extremely self conscious about my writing and practically refuse to publish anything I write...but hearing about onion boys books give me confidence
Dude are you my soulmate or something? We're the same!
I'll read it.
God, but I know that feeling.
I used to be like that, too. Too much the perfectionist. Just remember that nobody else can stop you from making bad art. Is the art police going to break down your door and arrest you because you didn't write a perfect story on the first draft?