@@davidmend3z that's why Tim uses Bort as a wingman, Bort makes Tim look sane. I can imagine Krisco being himself in front of Jennifer Aniston, as she subtly inches her chair away from him, unknowingly closer to the serial killer
Chugging the entire can of Liquid Death, immediately starting a sentence with no pause, and then accidentally dunking on his wife is the most on brand 8 seconds of Barts entire existence.
“So, we have to write a group paper about Germany’s reformation post world war 2” Brent: “let’s do it as a short film. I’ll see if my dad, who’s a lawyer, can find it”.
I'm totally like Burnt. I know all about how to use those electric surfboards that Zuckerberg has. I am also an expert on base jumping technique and equipment. I'm deeply involved in a lot of things I've never done and will never do.
@@dexraikkonen7 buddy wtf - we're here commenting on youtube videos we;re all sterile eunuchs living in the basement of our community homeless shelter, subsisting on cheeto dust and our daily routine stays motivated by a deep and unquenchable hate for Brendan Schaub
"You guys have LeBron!?" "Yeah . . . potentially." Jesus, I'm in tears. You two are fucking ridiculous. And, I think, just crazy enough to actually do it.
This show is so inspiring. Not because of Bert and Tom, but because they have the equivalent of an 80 year old using a smartphone for the first time posing as a “producer”.
If it was revealed that Bert was actually a 14 year old boy who got turned into an adult by that gypsy machine in Big I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest
yeah the REAL comedy genious behind this arrangement consists in Tom Segura knowing EXACTLY how to make fun of bert to his face, without bert having ANY FUCKING CLUE whats going on, and its fucking brilliant, I swear, this show is just one big inside joke between the fans, and toms eyes/ face AS bert blurts his obtruse
@@ironspidercade1644 Covid messed up last season, he likely got another year of eligibility. He mentioned leaving Wake Forest to play for Hampton. He would be up for this draft. Still seems highly unlikely he gets in NFL, a WR that had a Torn Achilles when the position is loaded. He could get some camp invites seeing as he seems like a great guy to have around for moral. Bert really has no clue about NFL and what a salary cap is, he would be getting less than a million. They are not giving him 3yrs 12 million haha or whatever Bert mentioned.
@@xStonebraker Well yeah the lowest contract in all major sports is better paying than UPS and most jobs. Doesn't change that Bert had no clue what he is talking about with the contract amount he was throwing out. Majority contracts are not guaranteed either but Bert was throwing around figures like they are. I hope they help him out but Tom is the one he should listen to for advice.
And in the words of Kourtney Clarke in comments above "And we black people change the way we talk when we're around white people.. It happens" she said it well... Races are different in tons of ways.. None better or worse just different
Be honest, you would too if you somehow lucked out with his life. We can make jokes all day, but he’s a genuinely sweet guy that gets to experience some rather insane moments.
I watched “The Midnight Sky” last night. Anything Bert and Tom does will be light years better than that movie. And Netflix wasted 100 million dollars on it.
I used to be a CNA at a nursing home, and right after completing the certification course they threw me into the over night shift in the Alzheimer’s and dementia ward. One of the patients used to say to me “you and me, we would’ve been friends in Korea”, and the other cna who’d been there a while said to me after the first time “he was never in Korea”.
I love how Tom enables Brunt. Even though he's an idiot, he does not allow anyone or anything get in his way. "I'm not that funny and I just take my shirt off and I have a career" the realest Bruce has ever said.
"Im deeply involved in the surfing community......I watch a bunch of videos" By that thinking im a Director at YMH studios cause I've watched a bunch of their videos.
Reminds me of KP on eastbound and down when someone says his clothes are so bright they're blinding.. "Some say Jesus Christ had the same effect on fools."
Goodmorning my Queens & Kings above 18, get those feet on the ground now, Cmon now get yourself some coffee. Maybe some breakfast and remember you have yourself a good day my Kings and Queens above 18.
Thank y'all for being here to make us laugh about everything and nothing all at once. Life sucks sometimes and this channel/podcast lets us have a good hard laugh. Love yall ♥️♥️
@@VIi726 It's actually very normal. You shouldn't change your accent and 100% of your vocabulary though, but we all talk a little differently to different people. Do you talk to your friends and your grandma the same way? I bet you also talk differently on the internet as opposed to face to face.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
This is the most Step Brothers-esque episode yet. Everytime Burnt mentions “2 Bears Sports Management” all I hear is “Prestige Worldwide”.
Boats and hoes
They really are the real life versions of Step Brothers.
Couldn’t agree more with this comment.
An entertainment 720 affiliate...
Fuckin Catalina Wine Mixer.
When Cortez says “I like you” to Tom. and Tom nods with satisfaction 😂😂😂
That face was super scary / cringe lol
('cause Tom slipped in "Aniston is sending me nudes" )😂
As Bret rambles on, he's like "Tim's the sane on in this conversation"...
@@davidmend3z that's why Tim uses Bort as a wingman, Bort makes Tim look sane.
I can imagine Krisco being himself in front of Jennifer Aniston, as she subtly inches her chair away from him, unknowingly closer to the serial killer
Hes a big hit with the inner city blacks
Cortez stole the show. Rooting for his success in whatever he ends up doing.
Agreed!
Definitely!
Uh-hundred percent
He's already a millionaire what do you mean
Dude fr, seems like such a good dude.
Chugging the entire can of Liquid Death, immediately starting a sentence with no pause, and then accidentally dunking on his wife is the most on brand 8 seconds of Barts entire existence.
@@ZeranZeran 1:02:00
thank you haha
Tom definitely did his “urban talk” 😂😂
Y’all understand not every black person is inner city, right
"THE INNER CITY BLACKS".
Bert's dad is hilarious. Just the nuances in his voice when he responds to Bert's insanity cracked me up. 😂😂😂😭
Cortez has 100 fans on Cameo already. If he's done 100 handshakes, he's earned 10 G's in a day. The YMH effect is real.
He has 144 now... so he’s made $14,400 already
Tom sure does talk different when he’s talking to the inner city blacks
It's funny cuz it's true
'sup Kane
Cuase his jeans are high and tight
Bart seems real comfortable with being white
Alabama is far from inner city. Nowhere in the south is inner city.
Bert is that kid in group projects that makes the assignment way more complicated than it needs to be
“So, we have to write a group paper about Germany’s reformation post world war 2”
Brent: “let’s do it as a short film. I’ll see if my dad, who’s a lawyer, can find it”.
@@tactikilleri can definitely see Bertle doing that😂
@@sCareCrowmerk Beet: proceeds to laugh and wheeze through all of his lines.
@@tactikiller Feet is bringing in the money though
Burnt: “I’m deeply involved in the surfing community.”
Tod: “Deeply involved?”
Bart: “I watch RUclips videos and know their names”
Me: k
hes on those reddit forums heavy
I lol'd when he said that.
I'm totally like Burnt. I know all about how to use those electric surfboards that Zuckerberg has. I am also an expert on base jumping technique and equipment. I'm deeply involved in a lot of things I've never done and will never do.
you must be a hit with the ladies
@@dexraikkonen7 buddy wtf - we're here commenting on youtube videos
we;re all sterile eunuchs living in the basement of our community homeless shelter, subsisting on cheeto dust and our daily routine stays motivated by a deep and unquenchable hate for Brendan Schaub
That man stared down the camera and said 200+ handshakes.... there was ZERO cap in that statement. This mans the Davinci of handshakes.
The Michael-Hand-gelo ? Lol
@@CB-bp3xu ooohh shit I like it
@@CB-bp3xu Spanksy
Bart has 6 drinks in front of him, he must be cutting back
Definitely
And will proceed to complain about how he can't lose weight😂 such a Lovable moron
@@lukeut8680 there all diet he’s okay 😆
but the liquid death is water
@@berthahernandez9054 I feel like that's a strange name for water
Bert is acting like a coked up exec pitching ideas.
Yeah just like the past 3 or 4 episodes lol.
The most accurate way to describe today's episode
Acting?
We have maybe another 4 months of coke bert before he dies.
terrible far fetched ideas
Tom's codeswitch is so hilarious. It's really just him getting southern again, not imitating African Americans though.
I do the same shit subconsciously, I get it
"You guys have LeBron!?"
"Yeah . . . potentially."
Jesus, I'm in tears. You two are fucking ridiculous. And, I think, just crazy enough to actually do it.
Cuase they're jeans are high and tight
Tom talking to Cortez: "how do you say cucumber?"
"What it be calt, a Q-commer?"
“Cue-Coombah”
Chefs kiss comment
Well played Israel!
Favorite comment of this episode so far
Cortez is exactly what bert doesnt need. A hype man who is so positive he will greenlight every terrible idea he has😂
The pure joy when he said “growl like a grizzly bear” berts face has made my day 😂
it was purple
He was so damn happy, a true gift from the handshake king.
Every opening for 2 Bears, you guys should do the handshake
This show is so inspiring. Not because of Bert and Tom, but because they have the equivalent of an 80 year old using a smartphone for the first time posing as a “producer”.
Spot on... A hundred percent
I used to cut him slack because I thought he was mixing sound and video switching as well, but literally his only job is to Google and laugh..
@@jayyhernandez1990 uhhhundridpurrscent
Yes😂🤣😂🤣🔨🔨🔨🔨🤣🥰🥰🥰 dude that perfectly describes it. Like perfectly
NFT THOSE HANDSHAKES, CORTEZ! Get paid!!
NFT is not an acronym I’m familiar with
Van's always a step ahead. :)
That's Non Fungible Token for those unfamiliar. And it's a great idea. 👍
A legit FANTASTIC idea.
Cortez gotta NFT all his daps
"We can do this man, we can start a sports company!"
"My dad can look over the contracts."
Scary thing is I think Bart actually believes that he's actually signed his first client
@@cathbadh1320 in the moment he for sure does. 😂😂😂
If it was revealed that Bert was actually a 14 year old boy who got turned into an adult by that gypsy machine in Big I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest
@@N0ahface I was thinking more around 8-9 year old boy.
@@svenp6504 Lol I was going to say 9 and then I remembered how much Bert likes strip clubs
"This is what Christ must have felt like." -Brett the Redeemer
Bert was totally the frat kid that would frequently say “my dads a lawyer”
“No no we’re cool, those girls don’t have a case.” 🤣🤣
Name is Brent😂
I love how frustrated Todd looks while Nadav is searching😂😂
Anyone else a Cortez Lewis fan now?
100% and I can totally see people paying legit money for a handshake from him.
He is already on Cameo get ya a hundo shake.
How can you not be! +vibes
Tom: “I don’t code talk”
Tim: “Yo”
it may be the funniest thing ever watching Tom turn into Tarantino. He code talks so hard.
@@griffinkirschke5135 “I’m not your slave, you’re not my master... you can’t make me dance to your tune!”
I hate this fucking lefty game of labelling everything so that you can declare it problematic
STILL...the best part of Monday mornings.
Bad friends gang
@@collinwgreen Watch both? #LiveLife365
Bad friends 🐐
Only thing that makes me look forward to a monday
There's a reason they post earlier than Bad Friends. They can't compete with them.
Bert really said he wasn’t trying to be “obtruse”
Giving me real “Prestige Worldwide” vibes.
You want me to shut this down, D-Man?
"The first word in entertainment. Black leather gloves."
I’ve read this same comment on multiple episodes lol
Tom is more like the actual brother screaming "BRENT HAS A MANGINA!" while Bryce talks about his aspirations for 2 Bears Sports Management Inc LLC Ent™©®.
This sounds like when people are really ripped off of cocaine and coming up with business ideas.😂
Bert is probably on Adderall lol
@@LegitHawaiian95 nah I think he's just special
I love how Burnt says he's been on a drinking kick "lately." Like that's a weird way of saying your entire life lol.
Like we all don’t know that he has had this kick for his entire life and on camera? I’m certain Brent does drive himself to work *wink.
Goes side by side with the cocaine kick he’s on “lately.”
He's on fucking Cameo. Holy shit this made a day off work even better
yeah i was checking also. they don't have the management site up yet though as of today
Bert: "I'm so DEEPLY involved in the surfing community!"
Tom: "'Deeply' involved?"
Bert: "I watch a lot of videos."
yeah the REAL comedy genious behind this arrangement consists in Tom Segura knowing EXACTLY how to make fun of bert to his face, without bert having ANY FUCKING CLUE whats going on, and its fucking brilliant,
I swear, this show is just one big inside joke between the fans, and toms eyes/ face AS bert blurts his obtruse
Tom & Bert saying goodbye to Cortez:
"Stay safe brotha"
"Take care brotha"
lmaoooo
NFL teams: sign Cortez Lewis just for the NFL Films sideline montage. Gold mine personality.
So he’s out of college and didn’t get drafted?
@@ironspidercade1644 Covid messed up last season, he likely got another year of eligibility. He mentioned leaving Wake Forest to play for Hampton. He would be up for this draft.
Still seems highly unlikely he gets in NFL, a WR that had a Torn Achilles when the position is loaded. He could get some camp invites seeing as he seems like a great guy to have around for moral.
Bert really has no clue about NFL and what a salary cap is, he would be getting less than a million. They are not giving him 3yrs 12 million haha or whatever Bert mentioned.
@@smashin Even the lowest end contract in the NFL is better than working at UPS though.
@@xStonebraker Well yeah the lowest contract in all major sports is better paying than UPS and most jobs. Doesn't change that Bert had no clue what he is talking about with the contract amount he was throwing out. Majority contracts are not guaranteed either but Bert was throwing around figures like they are. I hope they help him out but Tom is the one he should listen to for advice.
“This is what Christ must’ve felt like” - Burnt Crystals
Bruh wtf is that username lmao
Amazing name
*Bruce crystler
Best name yet
Uh hundrid percent!!
-"I'm deeply involved in the surfing community."
-"Deeply involved ?"
-"I watch a lot of videos."
That's all it takes now
@@jamisonjohnston1506 Sadly true but in this case, it's just Bert being Bert.
But....he texts them too lol.
Your podcast legit helps with my depression, I look forward to these every single week. Thank you guys 💯
Listening to this on acid right now. Bert has never sounded more clairvoyant. This is definitely a good idea
Clairvoyant
This mans absolutely killing it and he's just known as the "handshake guy"
i sense a future friendship between the bears and this man
The handshake king
He has a great personality, I don't see the NFL happening but he can for sure be in entertainment.
When Barf starts explaining the handshake thought you can hear his blood pressure medication crying
“Barf” 😂😂😂
$100 is too cheap for a secret handshake by cortez lewis.
Bert drinks anything with alcohol in it: "That's good, that's really good"
"...trust me I know how crazy I am, I'm with me all the time" needs to be a Tshirt
“I really remind myself of the son of god”- brett krinsler
“I want to see peoples whos lives have been drastically affected by their cowlicks” - that one is on Bret. Nadav didn’t have a chance.
Who is Bret?
@@austenalbertson1173 Bret Krushner of course
@@LuckyLuch1 ohh I get it! Hahaha I forgot about that! Good lookin out bud!
You mean Bort
I wanted to remember what those wrestling announcers call him a while back and so I searched “Bruce Kershner” first video is the Russian mafia story
"I'm just doing men right now" - Burnt Krusthole
burnt krusthole is one of the better ones yet
@@ev446 facts! Deff original lmao
"Bruce looks down in shame*
Best name yet
Tom becomes 10x happier when he's talking to them inner city blacks
This is me formally submitting my application to work for the 2 bears sports agency. (I could be consisted minority hire I’m black & a woman) lmao
Inclusion! I love this sports agency .
you could also be consisted as having had Bert's mastery of the written word
Tom threw some Yo's in there and totally changed his vocab talking to the handshake king😂😂
And in the words of Kourtney Clarke in comments above "And we black people change the way we talk when we're around white people.. It happens" she said it well... Races are different in tons of ways.. None better or worse just different
@goon snuke it's probably not intentional lmao
@@WKRP187 Totally agree, I do it too accidentally, still cracks me up!
Bart saying he doesn't want a chick too hot, Leanne is perfect for him... that shit was gold.
Tim can’t not code speak when talking to black people
Hey chance, go out of your house and you'll see that's pretty common lol
How should he speak?
@@Tacit_Tern non coded
Shit aint code if you were raised with it
bc Tom an OG
The YMH crew puts together the meet up with Cortez and gets the IP
Bert: I just will things into existence
"I have used my body my entire life" - Burnt Krystals
Where the FGTRTD's at!? 👖
They got that Bud Light money now? Daaamn
Bert got a handshake and says "this is what christ felt like"
He gets way too excited over the dumbest shit
Be honest, you would too if you somehow lucked out with his life. We can make jokes all day, but he’s a genuinely sweet guy that gets to experience some rather insane moments.
@@danielpenrodii2389 I love Bert he’s just always running at 100% and it’s funny
Amazing show. Watched the whole thing already
Wild twist at the end huh?
Me too
That’s living life 365
Wow 😳 impressed
playback speed: 365
Watching two grown men learn a complex handshake over a video call makes these dudes look especially tik tok’d
The two of them talking about their sports marketing idea is like dale and brennon from step brothers when they come up with prestige worldwide😂😂
Tom totally code talked the entire conversation with Cortez. Lol
This is one of my favorite 2 Bears episodes yet
When's Bert going to fulfill his episode 2 promises to get a Florida face tattoo? Also we want fat astronauts! Take my money!!!
Fatstronauts
@@anthonyesposito5561 nah fat astronauts rolls of the tongue better. Good effort though.
I bet you they will sell Fat Astronauts to a big studio
I watched “The Midnight Sky” last night. Anything Bert and Tom does will be light years better than that movie. And Netflix wasted 100 million dollars on it.
@RUclips Sucks That’s perfect! I have not seen him in anything for awhile
The entire phone call with Bert's dad felt like a scene from Step Brothers.
“You couldn’t waterboard me to wear that outfit” .. “you’re right I’d wear it in a heartbeat” Lol
Bruce: “I’ve been on a drinking kick lately”... for 30 years
We gonna talk about how burnt is having christ like delusions? No? Aight cool.
Very worrying
thats the least concerning issue with Fart Chrysler
I think he took too many of Illa's adderals
Nothing new there.
@@tpence1991 he did seem legit adderally.
why would you bleep out names when the obvious sound effect should be bears roaring... come on nadav
💯 percent
tru
I'll be looking forward to hearing a bear bleep and knowing someone there is reading these comments.
For real!
56:30 "What a disrespectful list!" lmaoooo
So much good energy on this episode. Handshake King KILLED it.
Bruce is like a dementia patient, and Tim is like the nurse leaning into it to avoid anger lol
I used to be a CNA at a nursing home, and right after completing the certification course they threw me into the over night shift in the Alzheimer’s and dementia ward.
One of the patients used to say to me “you and me, we would’ve been friends in Korea”, and the other cna who’d been there a while said to me after the first time “he was never in Korea”.
Literally just got back from getting a bag of some stinky ass weed but it will never smell as bad as Bruce Krishner
@Jo Rogan nah mate I'm bloody Br'ish. I got it from a chav next to a park of course, only the finest for us lmao
@Jo Rogan he was being sarcastic mate.
@Jo Rogan woah, cool guy alert
@Jo Rogan I miss 24hr dispos, we had one down in SeaTac and one up in Ballard here in Seattle
@Jo Rogan Ok
These two together turn into 16 year olds living in 50 year old bodies.
Honestly, that's what you want from hanging out with your best buddy
Can we be honest with each other? Their bodies look closer to 65
Brents ongoing laugh is contagious 😂, sounds like a baby seal
Bert: "Im SO deeply involved in the surfing community" ....
*I walk away from my PC losing my shit* LOL
I love how Tom enables Brunt. Even though he's an idiot, he does not allow anyone or anything get in his way. "I'm not that funny and I just take my shirt off and I have a career" the realest Bruce has ever said.
@Phillip Oliver Holtz such an underrated comment.
Hey he got mad respect
Cortez: I LUH DAT
the whole intentionally getting their names wrong thing is so unfunny
@@Eltener123 You must be new here.
"Im deeply involved in the surfing community......I watch a bunch of videos"
By that thinking im a Director at YMH studios cause I've watched a bunch of their videos.
Nah ur just a “civilian” as these fuckers would say haha
But....have you been texting? Lol
Can we discuss how slim Todd is getting too? Holy Jeans
I noticed. Photoshoot tom is making a comeback.
It’s called muscle atrophy
Teryn
"By the way, I'm on a little bit of a drinking kick lately."
We know, Bert.
“I wanna see people who’s lives have been drastically affected by their cow lick” - Bert, 48 Year old man.
“This is what Christ must have felt like” is the funniest sentence I’ve ever heard on a podcast.
You must not listen to MMP
Reminds me of KP on eastbound and down when someone says his clothes are so bright they're blinding.. "Some say Jesus Christ had the same effect on fools."
Goodmorning my Queens & Kings above 18, get those feet on the ground now, Cmon now get yourself some coffee. Maybe some breakfast and remember you have yourself a good day my Kings and Queens above 18.
thank you king
ty king
"this is what Christ must have felt like" 21:40 omg Bert sacrilege but also I get you 100%
🤣🤣
The fullback in the 3rd row 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love these guys 😂 they talk about their business ideas like Will Farrell and John C Reilly in step brothers spoke about Prestige Worldwide 😂😂
been waiting since last monday for this love all the mommies out there keep em high and tight
"I'm not that funny and I just take my shirt off on stage"- arguably the funniest thing Barry has ever said
This Cortez kid seems great. Hope to see him have lots of success!
Thank y'all for being here to make us laugh about everything and nothing all at once. Life sucks sometimes and this channel/podcast lets us have a good hard laugh. Love yall ♥️♥️
For those wondering, yes he's on cameo.. and yes we need to blow his cameo up!!
This handshake is gonna blow the fuck up
Toks...
"I've used my body my whole entire life." -Brent
the sneeze at 1:19:00 absolutely killed me
The homie Cortez said "Whoop dee Whoo " he country as hell🤣🤣🤣
Yo I can't wait to see the 2 bears rendition of "Ballers" 🤣🤣🤣
He gives her a lot of shit but Brent would be literally dead if LeeAnn left him.
Bert talks so much shit about leeann. That woman is a saint.
Oh man that guy has all the best energy!!! Ain’t no shame in UPS bro! But I hope you get your dream back
Todd’s code-switching is so uncomfortable haha
It is a bit, yeah. But we all do it to a certain extent. It's just very obvious here. Changing your vocabulary from work vs with friends for example.
“Ey you not wrong about that one fam”
- Tip Segura
He did grow up around this type of culture so it isn't exactly abnormal.
@@livem4s201 it’s definitely not normal if you are changing your voice based on race lol
@@VIi726 It's actually very normal. You shouldn't change your accent and 100% of your vocabulary though, but we all talk a little differently to different people. Do you talk to your friends and your grandma the same way? I bet you also talk differently on the internet as opposed to face to face.
Love how purple Bert gets when he's laughing. Fucking giggling ass Grimmace.
Bert sounds like LaVarr Ball talking about all this sports management stuff 😂😂😂