The most amazing part is, this is the first time in history that the most popular and common insult in modern Mandarin (and some other dialects) 「你媽逼」 "ni ma bi" made its debut. The original phrase 「爾母婢」 when read in old Chinese, sounds roughly like "nhe me bie", so people are literally slinging the same kind of trash talk from BC to the 21st century, and potentially for millennia to come.
Humanity has always been petty and sarcastic, whether vengeful or lighthearted. These are humanity’s cherished recorded moments and I’m all for the smack talk!
Haha yeah I do most of my research in Chinese but then also use some English sources plus borrow from more western ways of writing, so I try to draw from both traditions.
Same here. It would be great if there is the original Chinese text in the video so that I can understand better lol. Understanding Chinese in English could be confusing for me lols
a few of my favoritess: 1. Three Kingdoms period, Zhuge Liang was a master at this, when Zhou Yu tries to use an arranged marriage to force Liu Bei to stay in Wu, Zhuge Liang foiled his plans, and when he gave chase but is forced to retreat, and taunted with "Zhou Yu is really brilliant, losing a bride, and forced to retreat", then when an esteemed elderly official tries to convince him to join Wei, he said "well, you're a white haired old thief" after pointing out every mistake he made in his life, that official died on the spot, that is until he met Sima Yi and sent a woman's outfit to provoke him, and said "if you don't fight like a man, put this on and go home" Sima Yi put the dress on then calmly asked "so, is Zhuge Liang eating well?" 2. Wu Zetian era, one minister was investigating another particularly cruel minister he suspect is guilty of a crime, he went to his house as asked, "so I have a prisoner that won't give up on some critical stuff, got any torture method you recommend" the minister described a torture method involving boiling a person alive, then the first minister brought out a pot and said "now, get in the pot please" 3. Zhang Zong Chang, a warlord, wrote a poem "You tell me to do this, He tells me to do that. You're all bastards, Go fuck your mother.
Completely false, that story of zhou yu was not a historical facts, it was from the novelization of three kingdoms. It would be like calling Harry Potter historical facts.
@@Killerbee4712 thanks to that novel, less than 10% of what people knows about the kingdom period was real. This should give you an indication of the power of propaganda, as they are the same thing with fiction in essence. Still it was hella of an entertaining books, no wonder people prefer it over the truth.
I think it’s crazy how widespread chariot warfare got. Like during the Bronze Age, people were using chariots as their main war fighting equipment seemingly all the way from Egypt, to Greece, and even to China and India. Like it was that insanely useful of an an invention. I guess it makes sense if you think about it. Everyone knew how wheels and wagons worked, so the next step would logically be “how do I use this to kill people?”
There's also Duke Mu of Qin's famous insult to Jian Shu. The duke wanted to go on a risky expedition which Jian Shu thought would certainly fail, and cried because his two sons was to command the expedition, predicting they'd be defeated in Yao. The duke sent word to Jian Shu "What does your old ass know? If you had the proper lifespan, the tree growing on your grave would be thick enough to hold with both hands!" 爾何知 中壽 爾墓之木拱矣 Of course, his army was indeed defeated in Yao as Jian Shu predicted, and both sons were captured.
I seem to recall a funny bit of battlefield banter that took place after one fighter cut through the armor protecting another warrior's neck, but failed to kill him. It went: "How swift your sword is!" To which the other replied "How thick the shaft of your neck!"
My favorite trash talk comeback of "modern" China is this exchange between the King of England and Emperor of China. The English king boasted about his greatness in a letter to the Emperor. The Emperor in his response laughed at him for being merely a king of a lowly island while he was the ruler of everlasting China and ruler of everything under heaven. It's been 15 years since I read about this exchange and is still puts a smile on my face. 😂
Yes, Emperor Qianglong was too proud of himself. 😅 He has a huge ego. And when he visited southeast China, so many foods were named because of him and after him
Everybody knows about the reply letter from Qiang Long to George III, but very few people know about George III's original letter to Qian Long. Even fewer know that this letter was translated into Chinese by the Jesuits working for the Qing Dynasty and the Jesuits translated it into a much more submissive tone. Basically, the Jesuits translated the letter as if George III was a tribute king in the tributary system with China. So, no wonder Qian Long replied in a manner that he did.
I’m so surprised that learning Chinese history in English is insanely hard. Proper names are indistinguishable. Wei(魏) Wei(卫)Wei river(渭水)or jin(晋)jin(金)😂
Yeah I'm starting to include more and more characters in my videos for this reason. Ultimately I do wonder if the standard way to learn Chinese history is to include the characters with the romanization, otherwise there's just too many homonyms (since tones are also not included in the romanizations).
No. 1: "吾不如大國之數奔也" No. 2: "叱嗟!而母婢也" No. 3: "天知、神知、我知、子知,何謂無知?" No. 4: "想君小時,必當了了" No. 5: "一拜一起,未足為勞" No. 6: "我以天地為棟宇、屋室為褌衣,諸君何為入我褌中?" No. 7: "此事豈可使卿有勳邪?" No. 8: "朕,朕,狗腳朕!"、"陛下何意反耶?" No. 9: "智短漢,何不道是獺?" No. 10: "我不耳冷,先生眼熱。" edit: I just realised that OP had included the original words in the description already
I think it's fascinating how intent carries throughout languages yet timing and tact do not. For example, in the Kong Rong story, the witticism would be "then you must be speaking from experience," but he says the same thing by analogy instead, while in the Sun Quan/Liu Bei story it would be something like "I wouldn't know, I merely bowed to one" or "not tiring at all, all I had to do was bow," but instead the process of bowing and rising is broken into two parts and the jab of implied tyranny is much less explicit - in the translation, that is, not the original language.
to be honest, that guy who wasnt impressed by Kong Rong was onto something. He might have been brilliant, but he had absolutely no social skill and that-s what got him the chop.
Yeah true, and for someone as politically connected as Kong Rong, he really didn't amount to much of anything during the fall of the Eastern Han Dynasty. So the guy who wasn't impressed by Kong Rong was technically right.
@@gatesofkilikien i dare say that unknown guy was pretty amazing and wise. everyone was busy straddling that kids ego just because he was smart. but intelligence isnt enough and he was ironically too stupid to see it. or perhaps it was ego. that guy saw the writing on the wall. me personally, id have called the kid Kong Rong and then him 2-3 hard slaps, and then ask him what he learned from this. "Nothing? you just learned that your intelligence cant stop brute force. i am stronger than you, physically at the moment, but there will always be people who stand above you. and unless you deal with others with sincerity and tact, tearing you to pieces will be nothing to those with power. organized society is by definition hierarchical, and this produces civilization which then advances enough so people start paying attention to thinkers and even yapping kids like you. But never think youre indispensible because youre smart. when push comes to shove, strongmen dont need thinkers. thinkers are a divident of organized society, but it-s held together because of force. so be wise smart rather than intelligent. anyways thats all. go play in the garden."
@@bluemoondiadochi You can't get more miserable in the comment section, can you? Hitting a kid bevause he's smarter than you. What a joke you are. I don't know whether to feel sad for you or laugh. I guess I'll just laugh 😂🤣🤣
To be honest, Three Kingdoms period has tons of trash talking that results to hilarious situations that's recorded in both Sanguozi and ROTK and notably, mostly involved Zhuge Liang. So during the aftermath of Chibi/Red Cliff, Cao Cao was on the retreat and fled back to Xuchang whereas as granted, Liu Bei was given the "loan" of Jingzhou by Sun Quan and on top of that, was given the Sun-Wu's princess, Sun Ren, as a concubine to Liu Bei. After all was said and done, Zhou Yu, Wu's strategist and chief commandant, had a prognosis that if they were to loan Jingzhou to Liu Bei, he would have never given it back and the way to get it back was to brainwash Liu Bei into not becoming a lord but in fact swear loyalty to Wu whist just being complacent with just being a normal governor of Jingzhou for Wu's intent as he's now part of the Wu family having just brought Sun Ren into his harem. Sun Quan agreed and instead plotted an elaborate ruse with Zhou Yu by inviting Liu Bei to Jianye (The capital of Dongwu/Eastern Wu) to talk about the alliance and also told him to bring Sun Ren and his own son, Liu Shan along to visit Dongwu as to broaden Liu Shang's looks on the world and also the Wu matriarch missed her daughter but in the process also plying him with a lavish house, tons of gold and jewelry and also dozens of maids and songstresses to keep him in Wu. Zhuge Liang sensed something was wrong thus he sent Zhao Yun/Zilong with Liu Bei over and gave him 7 bags of tips that he should open upon every month on when they were there. Just as Zhuge Liang had predicted, both Zhao Yun and Liu Bei were instantly locked in the house and were only given limited access to ever exit their villa. Within the few months, Liu Bei had to act like he was already giving up on the ambitions of being his own lord to trick both Zhou Yu and Zhao Yun. Just as instructed by Zhuge Liang, Zhao Yun opened the bags every month and on the final month, Zhuge Liang gave them a deadline to finish a task and that task was to trick Sun Quan into releasing them back to Jingzhou however way possible and hurriedly head to the port and board the ship back to Jingzhou where there's Shu forces waiting for them. Liu Bei went up to Sun Quan and declared that Cao Cao had recovered his strength within the 7 months and had once again amassed his forces to had plans to attack Jingzhou which requires Liu Bei to return and take care of the situation. Zhou Yu sensed that this was a ruse and denied the request but Liu Bei suddenly tossed out a letter stating that it's from a spy on Cao Cao's side that seemingly confirmed the impending attack and Liu Bei wasn't lying. Liu Bei then went on to argue that he had to get back and take care of the land "for my future lord" or else it's lost to Cao Cao with no one now other there leading the armies. Both Zhou Yu and Sun Quan begrudgingly agreed to let Liu Bei return but he must leave his son and Sun Ren behind and go back alone as Sun Quan and Zhou Yu thought that this would lock Liu Bei down as he'll come back for his wife and children. However, Zhuge Liang had also thought of that thus as Zhao Yun opened the bag and saw the tip, it told him that he will bring his lord's wife and kid to the docks prior to Liu Bei heading there himself with whatever he can bring along too. Thus as Liu Bei left the court, he swiftly went back to the villa, double checked everything is in place and rode to the docks as quickly as possible. Just then, Zhou Yu, suspicious of stuff yet again, went after Liu Bei and when he reached the villa, Liu Bei had already left and the songstresses were just left there, all the gold and jewelry were there but Liu Shan and Sun Ren wern't there as promised. Zhou Yu knew they were tricked and rode to the docks with his bodyguards only to be a step too late and watching Liu Bei on a boat whilst troops shouting back at Zhou Yu: "The lord of Wu is a smart man. Not only did he loose his sister but he too lost his men" continuously as the boat flowed down the river. This angered Zhou Yu soo much that he was reported to have vomited blood from his injury and collapsed for one last time before dying weeks later. Another time of Zhuge Liang's trash talk attack was against Wang Lang which was hilariously written in ROTK (Yes. I know ROTK isn't historically accurate but it's funny nonetheless). During the 4th tour of the Northern Expedition, Wei's forces were battered but still able to put up a fight but to delay the reorganizing of the army, Cao Rui was panicking and was asking his officials on what to do. Wang Lang raised his hand and voiced out that he could reason with Zhuge Liang for a compromise and Cao Rui agreed, sending Wang Lang to the frontlines as a parlay with Zhuge Liang. When Wang Lang met Zhuge Liang, he praised his wits, smartness and ability to lead soldiers into battle with flawless victories time and time again despite mostly being on the backfoot and not having the numbers of the enemy and even told Zhuge Liang that everyone admired him but him serving in a place where a weak kid as a lord isn't worth his effort thus he should just submit to Wei and serve as an advisor to Cao Rui and he'll be heavily rewarded. However, Zhuge Liang instead scoffed and went on a tirade stating: "Oh Wang Lang oh Wang Lang. You being an old man, you're senile now. You used to be the most loyal Han official I know and you're still taking the Han court's boon and yet you're serving a tyrannical bastard. Are you out of your mind asking me to submit to them or are you really that stupid and senile to even suggest that as you're a traitorous bastard yourself? If you think you can talk me into serving the Wei regime then you're worse than dogs and pigs. Get out of my sight. I don't even want to see you you traitorous scum". Wang Lang, after hearing that insult, immediately collapsed from his horse after vomiting blood from anger and died on the spot. Classic trash talk at it's best.
1. Wang Yangming apprehended a thief and instructed him to remove all of his clothing. The thief refused to remove the last remaining undergarments, to which Wang Yangming remarked, "You still have a sense of shame."
One that I remember from the show Three Kingdoms, which might not be true, is Zhang Fei referring to Lù Bu as " bastard of three fathers" since he had assassinated two of his surrogate fathers.
@@gatesofkilikien For me it's hard to know where all the places are. I know where the rivers are but I have to look up where certain places are located. Are you going to have book reviews? That'd be helpful
@@Sean12248 yeah place names can be tricky since a lot of places have different names during different time periods. I might talk about some original ancient texts down the line, although I’m not really familiar with books in English since I do most of my research in Chinese
The second example (King of Qi insulting Zhou government official's mother) was hilarious and unexpected. It breaks the image I use to hold of Chinese as being stoic and withdrawn in temperament and behavior.
The video is pretty good, do you have time to talk about the messy history of the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms? The people in power in this period of history were crazy.
Thanks, my goal is to eventually get to it with my Medieval Chinese history series, although it'll be a while especially since each video has been becoming more and more involved.
Your content might be interesting but it needs more visual cues, Like who's talking, subtitles on what they are saying, and some transition between instances Just a passerby seeing potential :p
No way could I have translated all of that though :) I still sometimes watch Zhuge Liang's speech from the 1994 Romance of the Three Kingdoms TV series. The acting is incredible, and the way Zhuge Liang escalated the insults toward the end is quite satisfying.
It was on my shortlist, but I cut it out in the end because the full quote was a bit less dramatic and it would have been tricky to explain the relationship between Chu and the other states without getting too esoteric for a video that I wanted to keep lightheaded. Still, it's a great quote, and I'll have to find a way to include it in a future video.
By Western Liang do you mean the Sichuan Basin? That was conquered by Western Wei in the early 550s in the aftermath of Hong Jin's rebellion. In any case I took the 546 boundaries straight from "The Historical Atlas of China" edited by Tan Qixiang. The atlas does have flaws, especially with its boundaries for non-Han Chinese areas during various time periods, but it is still widely considered the gold standard Chinese historical atlas.
@@genovayork2468 I see, no worries this period is extremely confusing anyway. Also my sleepy brain yesterday meant to type Hou Jing, not "Hong Jin". And of course coincidentally "Hong Jin" has to be a totally different but just as famous rebellion.
In ancient Vietnam history there was a trung sister rebellion. china sent a famous general name Ma yuan, of eastern Han to defeat the trung sisters. I would be curious to know the story from the Chinese perspective.
Very interesting. But I also just learned that from the Han(200s), all the way thru Ming(1600s), and now (1942-2023), the dynasties, Japan, Maoists, involved were actually tyrannies from invaders oppressing the southern provinces of YUNAN, VYA GRU, NANYUE, MIAO, GUANXIU, THAI, ANNAM, CHAMPA. So there! No apologies!
Random dude: **releases any video about Chinese culture** You: “How much should we worry about C.C.P. propaganda?” 你既然能翻墙,为什么不多学点墙外的正常人,为什么翻不过精神病院的墙?老跟Alex Jones这种人玩会被带坏的😂
“You’re Momma” jokes are some of the oldest 😅
They are THE OLDEST the first "yo mama" insult dates back to 3500 BC
@@CatroiOz3500 AD hasn't happened yet.
@@WuYixiang ooops ! Thanks for noticing the blunder ! Corrected !
@@CatroiOz the oldest recorded one.
@@CatroiOzCut the shit, Cat. I know you’re from an alternate universe
"What are you doing inside my pants?" 🤣💀
Actually, he was high on drugs.... arsenic poisoning, literati of Jin Dynasty ate Wushi SAN(五石散), a poisonous medicine
The Seven Sages of the Bamboo Grove are completely unreal, and their words and acts are still memetic even to this day.
ancient chinese version of "get off my dick"
@@Schinshikssthey give a big Diogenis "move away from my sun" energy
That "Your mom" joke literally caught me off guard.
Yes
The most amazing part is, this is the first time in history that the most popular and common insult in modern Mandarin (and some other dialects) 「你媽逼」 "ni ma bi" made its debut. The original phrase 「爾母婢」 when read in old Chinese, sounds roughly like "nhe me bie", so people are literally slinging the same kind of trash talk from BC to the 21st century, and potentially for millennia to come.
@@TheLivetunerholy faaak....
Hahahaa
that was some nice info
@@TheLivetunerYour mama joke is like gold. Timeless 😹
Humanity has always been petty and sarcastic, whether vengeful or lighthearted. These are humanity’s cherished recorded moments and I’m all for the smack talk!
I can’t imagine as a Mandarin speaker I’m watching a Chinese history video in English.
Haha yeah I do most of my research in Chinese but then also use some English sources plus borrow from more western ways of writing, so I try to draw from both traditions.
Same here. It would be great if there is the original Chinese text in the video so that I can understand better lol. Understanding Chinese in English could be confusing for me lols
Parcours.
@@ww2200same
This is why a lot of people think you have no humor.
You guys take everything too damn seriously. Like come on
"Y'all jealous of my stupid hat." -Ming Scholar
a few of my favoritess:
1. Three Kingdoms period, Zhuge Liang was a master at this, when Zhou Yu tries to use an arranged marriage to force Liu Bei to stay in Wu, Zhuge Liang foiled his plans, and when he gave chase but is forced to retreat, and taunted with "Zhou Yu is really brilliant, losing a bride, and forced to retreat", then when an esteemed elderly official tries to convince him to join Wei, he said "well, you're a white haired old thief" after pointing out every mistake he made in his life, that official died on the spot, that is until he met Sima Yi and sent a woman's outfit to provoke him, and said "if you don't fight like a man, put this on and go home" Sima Yi put the dress on then calmly asked "so, is Zhuge Liang eating well?"
2. Wu Zetian era, one minister was investigating another particularly cruel minister he suspect is guilty of a crime, he went to his house as asked, "so I have a prisoner that won't give up on some critical stuff, got any torture method you recommend" the minister described a torture method involving boiling a person alive, then the first minister brought out a pot and said "now, get in the pot please"
3. Zhang Zong Chang, a warlord, wrote a poem "You tell me to do this, He tells me to do that. You're all bastards, Go fuck your mother.
3 my favotire it's short it is straightforward it is relatable and it takes less than 10 seconds to understand everything
Wang Lang takes puts the L in Lang
Completely false, that story of zhou yu was not a historical facts, it was from the novelization of three kingdoms. It would be like calling Harry Potter historical facts.
@@kail4997 Yeah these are all romance stories but hey its hilarious none the less. Also that wang lang vs Zhuge liang story is also ficticious
@@Killerbee4712 thanks to that novel, less than 10% of what people knows about the kingdom period was real. This should give you an indication of the power of propaganda, as they are the same thing with fiction in essence.
Still it was hella of an entertaining books, no wonder people prefer it over the truth.
I think it’s crazy how widespread chariot warfare got. Like during the Bronze Age, people were using chariots as their main war fighting equipment seemingly all the way from Egypt, to Greece, and even to China and India.
Like it was that insanely useful of an an invention.
I guess it makes sense if you think about it. Everyone knew how wheels and wagons worked, so the next step would logically be “how do I use this to kill people?”
There's also Duke Mu of Qin's famous insult to Jian Shu.
The duke wanted to go on a risky expedition which Jian Shu thought would certainly fail, and cried because his two sons was to command the expedition, predicting they'd be defeated in Yao.
The duke sent word to Jian Shu "What does your old ass know? If you had the proper lifespan, the tree growing on your grave would be thick enough to hold with both hands!" 爾何知 中壽 爾墓之木拱矣
Of course, his army was indeed defeated in Yao as Jian Shu predicted, and both sons were captured.
I seem to recall a funny bit of battlefield banter that took place after one fighter cut through the armor protecting another warrior's neck, but failed to kill him. It went: "How swift your sword is!" To which the other replied "How thick the shaft of your neck!"
If Sun Tzu's seminal work had been 'The Art of Talking Shit,' humanity would had have its everlasting magnum opus for both timelessness and citations.
Not too late for someone to compile this today.
imagine how the scholar felt when roasted by young Kong Rong :D
My favorite trash talk comeback of "modern" China is this exchange between the King of England and Emperor of China. The English king boasted about his greatness in a letter to the Emperor. The Emperor in his response laughed at him for being merely a king of a lowly island while he was the ruler of everlasting China and ruler of everything under heaven. It's been 15 years since I read about this exchange and is still puts a smile on my face. 😂
Yes, Emperor Qianglong was too proud of himself. 😅
He has a huge ego. And when he visited southeast China, so many foods were named because of him and after him
@@paulskiye6930 Ah that's his name. Thank you I forgotten his name. It's been about 15 years since I first read about his hilarious exchange haha.
Everybody knows about the reply letter from Qiang Long to George III, but very few people know about George III's original letter to Qian Long. Even fewer know that this letter was translated into Chinese by the Jesuits working for the Qing Dynasty and the Jesuits translated it into a much more submissive tone.
Basically, the Jesuits translated the letter as if George III was a tribute king in the tributary system with China.
So, no wonder Qian Long replied in a manner that he did.
@@johnyossarian9059 A most appropriate translation then.
@@goldman77700 How could it be appropriate? The British Empire was more powerful and influential than the Chinese Empire at that time.
I’m so surprised that learning Chinese history in English is insanely hard. Proper names are indistinguishable.
Wei(魏) Wei(卫)Wei river(渭水)or jin(晋)jin(金)😂
Yeah I'm starting to include more and more characters in my videos for this reason. Ultimately I do wonder if the standard way to learn Chinese history is to include the characters with the romanization, otherwise there's just too many homonyms (since tones are also not included in the romanizations).
还有东西晋,后晋,后金
In old Chinese they were pronounced all differently , only in modern Mandarin did they merge into identical sounds
@@lewislllouis3877魏和卫在中文里都分不清楚 要加年代或者说明
@@wngmv確實。不過「衛」跟 「魏」只是在官話里同音。漢語族其他語言里「魏」聲母多為/ŋ/
No. 1: "吾不如大國之數奔也"
No. 2: "叱嗟!而母婢也"
No. 3: "天知、神知、我知、子知,何謂無知?"
No. 4: "想君小時,必當了了"
No. 5: "一拜一起,未足為勞"
No. 6: "我以天地為棟宇、屋室為褌衣,諸君何為入我褌中?"
No. 7: "此事豈可使卿有勳邪?"
No. 8: "朕,朕,狗腳朕!"、"陛下何意反耶?"
No. 9: "智短漢,何不道是獺?"
No. 10: "我不耳冷,先生眼熱。"
edit: I just realised that OP had included the original words in the description already
I struggled reading this as I only know simplified chinese
In number 7 a better translation of the emperor’s response could be: “can’t let you contribute to this mate”
I think it's fascinating how intent carries throughout languages yet timing and tact do not. For example, in the Kong Rong story, the witticism would be "then you must be speaking from experience," but he says the same thing by analogy instead, while in the Sun Quan/Liu Bei story it would be something like "I wouldn't know, I merely bowed to one" or "not tiring at all, all I had to do was bow," but instead the process of bowing and rising is broken into two parts and the jab of implied tyranny is much less explicit - in the translation, that is, not the original language.
As a french guy, translating jokes always almost make them much worse
4:02 yoo that was the hardest backtalk I've ever heard.
I mean how would you even recover from that?
Absolute loving this channel. Keep the good work
thanks for your support! and looking forward to posting more content too as I improve my style and techniques
Some of these comebacks are so funny! Your videos contain a wealth of information, definitely worth watching more than once!
Thanks for the feedback, glad you've enjoyed them!
to be honest, that guy who wasnt impressed by Kong Rong was onto something. He might have been brilliant, but he had absolutely no social skill and that-s what got him the chop.
Yeah true, and for someone as politically connected as Kong Rong, he really didn't amount to much of anything during the fall of the Eastern Han Dynasty. So the guy who wasn't impressed by Kong Rong was technically right.
@@gatesofkilikien i dare say that unknown guy was pretty amazing and wise. everyone was busy straddling that kids ego just because he was smart. but intelligence isnt enough and he was ironically too stupid to see it. or perhaps it was ego.
that guy saw the writing on the wall.
me personally, id have called the kid Kong Rong and then him 2-3 hard slaps, and then ask him what he learned from this.
"Nothing? you just learned that your intelligence cant stop brute force. i am stronger than you, physically at the moment, but there will always be people who stand above you. and unless you deal with others with sincerity and tact, tearing you to pieces will be nothing to those with power.
organized society is by definition hierarchical, and this produces civilization which then advances enough so people start paying attention to thinkers and even yapping kids like you.
But never think youre indispensible because youre smart. when push comes to shove, strongmen dont need thinkers. thinkers are a divident of organized society, but it-s held together because of force.
so be wise smart rather than intelligent. anyways thats all. go play in the garden."
Kong Rong was pretty much a smartass
@@bluemoondiadochi You can't get more miserable in the comment section, can you? Hitting a kid bevause he's smarter than you. What a joke you are. I don't know whether to feel sad for you or laugh. I guess I'll just laugh 😂🤣🤣
Oh this is funny, had a few good laughs😂
thanks, glad you liked it!
Moral of Liu Ling's story, alcohol could make you a wise and better person😂
To be honest, Three Kingdoms period has tons of trash talking that results to hilarious situations that's recorded in both Sanguozi and ROTK and notably, mostly involved Zhuge Liang.
So during the aftermath of Chibi/Red Cliff, Cao Cao was on the retreat and fled back to Xuchang whereas as granted, Liu Bei was given the "loan" of Jingzhou by Sun Quan and on top of that, was given the Sun-Wu's princess, Sun Ren, as a concubine to Liu Bei. After all was said and done, Zhou Yu, Wu's strategist and chief commandant, had a prognosis that if they were to loan Jingzhou to Liu Bei, he would have never given it back and the way to get it back was to brainwash Liu Bei into not becoming a lord but in fact swear loyalty to Wu whist just being complacent with just being a normal governor of Jingzhou for Wu's intent as he's now part of the Wu family having just brought Sun Ren into his harem. Sun Quan agreed and instead plotted an elaborate ruse with Zhou Yu by inviting Liu Bei to Jianye (The capital of Dongwu/Eastern Wu) to talk about the alliance and also told him to bring Sun Ren and his own son, Liu Shan along to visit Dongwu as to broaden Liu Shang's looks on the world and also the Wu matriarch missed her daughter but in the process also plying him with a lavish house, tons of gold and jewelry and also dozens of maids and songstresses to keep him in Wu.
Zhuge Liang sensed something was wrong thus he sent Zhao Yun/Zilong with Liu Bei over and gave him 7 bags of tips that he should open upon every month on when they were there. Just as Zhuge Liang had predicted, both Zhao Yun and Liu Bei were instantly locked in the house and were only given limited access to ever exit their villa. Within the few months, Liu Bei had to act like he was already giving up on the ambitions of being his own lord to trick both Zhou Yu and Zhao Yun. Just as instructed by Zhuge Liang, Zhao Yun opened the bags every month and on the final month, Zhuge Liang gave them a deadline to finish a task and that task was to trick Sun Quan into releasing them back to Jingzhou however way possible and hurriedly head to the port and board the ship back to Jingzhou where there's Shu forces waiting for them.
Liu Bei went up to Sun Quan and declared that Cao Cao had recovered his strength within the 7 months and had once again amassed his forces to had plans to attack Jingzhou which requires Liu Bei to return and take care of the situation. Zhou Yu sensed that this was a ruse and denied the request but Liu Bei suddenly tossed out a letter stating that it's from a spy on Cao Cao's side that seemingly confirmed the impending attack and Liu Bei wasn't lying. Liu Bei then went on to argue that he had to get back and take care of the land "for my future lord" or else it's lost to Cao Cao with no one now other there leading the armies. Both Zhou Yu and Sun Quan begrudgingly agreed to let Liu Bei return but he must leave his son and Sun Ren behind and go back alone as Sun Quan and Zhou Yu thought that this would lock Liu Bei down as he'll come back for his wife and children. However, Zhuge Liang had also thought of that thus as Zhao Yun opened the bag and saw the tip, it told him that he will bring his lord's wife and kid to the docks prior to Liu Bei heading there himself with whatever he can bring along too. Thus as Liu Bei left the court, he swiftly went back to the villa, double checked everything is in place and rode to the docks as quickly as possible. Just then, Zhou Yu, suspicious of stuff yet again, went after Liu Bei and when he reached the villa, Liu Bei had already left and the songstresses were just left there, all the gold and jewelry were there but Liu Shan and Sun Ren wern't there as promised. Zhou Yu knew they were tricked and rode to the docks with his bodyguards only to be a step too late and watching Liu Bei on a boat whilst troops shouting back at Zhou Yu: "The lord of Wu is a smart man. Not only did he loose his sister but he too lost his men" continuously as the boat flowed down the river. This angered Zhou Yu soo much that he was reported to have vomited blood from his injury and collapsed for one last time before dying weeks later.
Another time of Zhuge Liang's trash talk attack was against Wang Lang which was hilariously written in ROTK (Yes. I know ROTK isn't historically accurate but it's funny nonetheless).
During the 4th tour of the Northern Expedition, Wei's forces were battered but still able to put up a fight but to delay the reorganizing of the army, Cao Rui was panicking and was asking his officials on what to do. Wang Lang raised his hand and voiced out that he could reason with Zhuge Liang for a compromise and Cao Rui agreed, sending Wang Lang to the frontlines as a parlay with Zhuge Liang.
When Wang Lang met Zhuge Liang, he praised his wits, smartness and ability to lead soldiers into battle with flawless victories time and time again despite mostly being on the backfoot and not having the numbers of the enemy and even told Zhuge Liang that everyone admired him but him serving in a place where a weak kid as a lord isn't worth his effort thus he should just submit to Wei and serve as an advisor to Cao Rui and he'll be heavily rewarded.
However, Zhuge Liang instead scoffed and went on a tirade stating: "Oh Wang Lang oh Wang Lang. You being an old man, you're senile now. You used to be the most loyal Han official I know and you're still taking the Han court's boon and yet you're serving a tyrannical bastard. Are you out of your mind asking me to submit to them or are you really that stupid and senile to even suggest that as you're a traitorous bastard yourself? If you think you can talk me into serving the Wei regime then you're worse than dogs and pigs. Get out of my sight. I don't even want to see you you traitorous scum".
Wang Lang, after hearing that insult, immediately collapsed from his horse after vomiting blood from anger and died on the spot. Classic trash talk at it's best.
None of your story were from sanguozi, they were all ROTK therefore fictional.
@@kail4997yep
1. Wang Yangming apprehended a thief and instructed him to remove all of his clothing. The thief refused to remove the last remaining undergarments, to which Wang Yangming remarked, "You still have a sense of shame."
One that I remember from the show Three Kingdoms, which might not be true, is Zhang Fei referring to Lù Bu as " bastard of three fathers" since he had assassinated two of his surrogate fathers.
The day a surrounded army general releases a best selling dis track of his enemies mid siege is a day I increasingly look forward to.
This channel is excellent! I bought a book on ancient China on Audible with a audible token. These videos help out!
Thanks! Keep it up - Chinese history is a huge topic and there's so much content, although it can be quite rewarding to learn
@@gatesofkilikien For me it's hard to know where all the places are. I know where the rivers are but I have to look up where certain places are located. Are you going to have book reviews? That'd be helpful
@@Sean12248 yeah place names can be tricky since a lot of places have different names during different time periods. I might talk about some original ancient texts down the line, although I’m not really familiar with books in English since I do most of my research in Chinese
Well, the moral of the story of Gao Chen is still relevant today. Never mess with the people who have access to your food.
that han dynasty proximity chat go crazy
I subscribed in like 5 seconds
The second example (King of Qi insulting Zhou government official's mother) was hilarious and unexpected.
It breaks the image I use to hold of Chinese as being stoic and withdrawn in temperament and behavior.
this has forced me to admit to being slow witted, as some went past my head and needed to rewind to watch and rewatch.
The video is pretty good, do you have time to talk about the messy history of the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms? The people in power in this period of history were crazy.
Thanks, my goal is to eventually get to it with my Medieval Chinese history series, although it'll be a while especially since each video has been becoming more and more involved.
The fish part made me laugh
Yeah, that one was gold.
do the one where the guy was so pissed he whipped his enemy's bones for revenge
Cant believe the poems of zhang zongchang werent mentioned. In particular " praying for rain"
it's been centuries but you still can feel the BURN.
A channel on Chinese history by an actual Chinese person who speaks chinese as his native language? YES.
Turns out “takes one to know one” is a universal concept lol
Awesome idea for a video and very well made.
After watching half the video - pretty underwhelming roasts.
Clicked on this on the strength of its title. I was not disappointed. 🤣
The phrase in 2nd story has indeed become 1 of the most deadly profanities in modern China 💀
Finally some good content
That first one is savage 😂
I liked it very much sir.
The most classic roasts
This is some good banter bro
Simply call someone a crippled trash frog in a well who cannot see the swan meat ontop mt. tai, and ask if he is courting death
I always get this 😭. When driving 'Niama'
Your content might be interesting but it needs more visual cues,
Like who's talking, subtitles on what they are saying, and some transition between instances
Just a passerby seeing potential :p
Zhuge Liang: hold my fan
Nice.
Thanks!
I came from Hong Kong and I write traditional Chinese
But I found it was way more difficult to learn Chinese with English
None of them have been as fatal as ya boi Kongming's disstracks on ya old man Jingxing of Wei
No way could I have translated all of that though :)
I still sometimes watch Zhuge Liang's speech from the 1994 Romance of the Three Kingdoms TV series. The acting is incredible, and the way Zhuge Liang escalated the insults toward the end is quite satisfying.
Yo Momma jokes never gets old! 🎉😂
Good video.
Pleaae consider waiting a few seconds after each punchline.
The listener needs to understand what is funny.
Thanks, yeah and I agree. One thing I've been working on for my upcoming videos is to slow the pace down and include more pauses in general.
Yo mama jokes never gets old. I mean modern...
tyty
Thank you 🙏
Any time!
Yo they added Dynasty Warriors to real life? LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
楚王“我蛮夷也”应该入选。
It was on my shortlist, but I cut it out in the end because the full quote was a bit less dramatic and it would have been tricky to explain the relationship between Chu and the other states without getting too esoteric for a video that I wanted to keep lightheaded. Still, it's a great quote, and I'll have to find a way to include it in a future video.
Top teir shade.
Of course the best known example is Confucius saying if you walk sideways in an airport, you are going to Bangkok.
兄弟这文史功底牛逼啊
风马牛不相及, cows and horses can’t fxxk each other 😂
Your chinese pronunciation is better than mine, and that is coming from an Chinese
Those damn river otters.
Wu Zetian a Vegan girl boss.
Do you have sample texts?
Hi yes I included the original texts and the sources in the video description.
these insults are reasons for courting death
Good.
Thanks!
The 546 map is wrong. Wei had annexed western Liang in 537.
By Western Liang do you mean the Sichuan Basin? That was conquered by Western Wei in the early 550s in the aftermath of Hong Jin's rebellion. In any case I took the 546 boundaries straight from "The Historical Atlas of China" edited by Tan Qixiang. The atlas does have flaws, especially with its boundaries for non-Han Chinese areas during various time periods, but it is still widely considered the gold standard Chinese historical atlas.
@@gatesofkilikien It was annexed in 552, yes. I mistook.
@@genovayork2468 I see, no worries this period is extremely confusing anyway. Also my sleepy brain yesterday meant to type Hou Jing, not "Hong Jin". And of course coincidentally "Hong Jin" has to be a totally different but just as famous rebellion.
>is a chef
>dont use poison in food🤣🤣
Chinese history is a meme i swear
good
Thanks!
Sub only because of Gao Cheng and your accent.
But can they top, _"Hey, laser lips! Your mother was a snow blower!"_ ? 🤖
In ancient Vietnam history there was a trung sister rebellion. china sent a famous general name Ma yuan, of eastern Han to defeat the trung sisters. I would be curious to know the story from the Chinese perspective.
你们的失忆症会变严重的吧 ?
Very interesting. But I also just learned that from the Han(200s), all the way thru Ming(1600s), and now (1942-2023), the dynasties, Japan, Maoists, involved were actually tyrannies from invaders oppressing the southern provinces of YUNAN, VYA GRU, NANYUE, MIAO, GUANXIU, THAI, ANNAM, CHAMPA. So there! No apologies!
Keep in mind these werent necessarily "recorded by historians" but made up/invented later, as with a lot of historical "quotes"
Chinese History
Local Warlord calls Emperor Wang Lou an Ugly ass emperor causing a civil war and resulting in 1,000000 casulties. (Repeat)
大外宣已经做到这种境界了吗?
大外宣到哪种境界我不知道,没文化到看什么都像大外宣的样子真是一点没变
@@dzjanczidi4749 嗯。什么样的东西都得有。硬的,软的,超软的,总有一款适合你。
Random dude: **releases any video about Chinese culture**
You: “How much should we worry about C.C.P. propaganda?”
你既然能翻墙,为什么不多学点墙外的正常人,为什么翻不过精神病院的墙?老跟Alex Jones这种人玩会被带坏的😂
@@ZhangK71 你才需要翻墙呢。你们全家世世代代都需要翻墙。😄
@@wuaaron808 嗯。你这种小学生级别的反驳完全恰当。不过没错啊,我全家都翻墙了,咋了?也没有像你的智商那么独特。