My coworkers and I definitely say it ironically. Idk if it makes it better or worse that we are all female software engineers and many with math degrees. The unironic part is that many of us eat stereotypical girl dinners on the regular.
Isn't "I'm just a girl" a form of weaponized incompetence? It keeps getting mentioned that there's no "boy form" of what's going on, but isn't the idea of 'girl math' similar to when husbands say they don't know how to do laundry or the dishes?
I would say the equivalent would be “boys will be boys” which is a gendered excuse for immature or bad behavior. Women’s spending, even if demanded by societal norms, will always be seen as frivolous. Men “earn” their toys: trophy wives, sports cars, boats etc. That is not applied to women’s consumer spending: make-up , bras,heels etc. these are items that you will be ,generally, looked down on for not applying but will not get you any true respect either. Not like a man with a nice car at least. Weaponized incompetence in men , such as not knowing how to change a diaper, or doing it wrong so you aren’t asked to engage in “feminine” labor is just selfishness. Women, especially single ones who live alone, suddenly pretending to not know how to make a budget as soon as they start dating… is a survival mechanism. The most feminine get the ones with the most resources, tale as old as time. If tomorrow men said “wow female CPAs are so sexy and make the best wives” 100s of women would sign up for accounting classes.
iirc the whole "i'm just a girl" thing was a reclaiming of "boys will be boys", and men use that phrase to get away with just about anything so girls online said why can't women?
@@mushmush4980 however the whole point of this video is how that saying undermines what it is being a woman and in fact hurts women's reputation and only feeds into age old stereotypes about women, whether it's a "girls girl" inside joke or not. Even then, just because men and the majority of the world have said "boys will be boys" for generations as an excuse doesn't exactly give them the best representation and reputation within a lot of women now either, no? It's immature both ways, no matter how you look at it.
@@mushmush4980and even if the beginning's intention was to "reclaim" that saying, this whole situation got way out of hand only for companies and cooperations to use that saying with influencers they sponsor to make you feel like you're joining in it, when it reality it's only a) making them more money and b) further proving women's stereotype!
as a girl in STEM, the whole concept of 'girl math' makes me so angry because women have had to fight tooth and nail to get acceptance in STEM fields and now women are just reinforcing the stereotype that 'girls aren't smart enough to do math'. I have to hear sickening shit from my male classmates all the time but now so many people with a platform are using it to trivialise them and other women's intelligence.
@swara4704 gurll I'm not even in STEM, but I can't imagine how frustrating it must be 😭. STEM is such a male dominanted field that my sister says her lecture hall is usually only men, and she has to go through the same stuff! But I hope that never dissuades you! Keep going, Ignore the people who trivialise women cause you know you're so much more ❤️ thanks for the comment!
as a girl who can't do maths due to dyscalculia it bothers me too. my lack of ability with maths is literally a learning disability, don't even start me on that patronising girl maths crap I will scream (also I always wanted to get into STEM so yeah life sucks lol)
Is it really that serious?? As someone who is in my last year of my STEM degre & everyone (including the men) know the “girl math” is just a joke & my classmates and I say it all the time and laugh. 😭😭. Women are outpacing men in STEM and any other types of degrees for that matter… “Girl math” is not setting women back in STEM, take a joke. As far as consumerism and credit card debt… yes it is.
As someone who's also in STEM, girlmath is a joke, I do agree that it is definitely feeding into overconsumption because tiktok is gonna tiktok but you also need to keep in mind that most economies are not doing well and in such cases small things like a lip product become luxuries. It is not girl math to spend hundreds of dollars in one store, but it is girl math to buy that pricey lip balm on 20% off even though it makes little to no difference because that's all you can afford to splurge on. We need to stop getting serious at obvious jokes made by women just the way men do.
@@Maya-db4wf nah, that really depends on when in history you're referencing and even then it depends on which women specifically you are talking about. the norse didn't just allow women to own property (which gave them control of their own finances) but also to conduct business on an equal level to men. even in highly patriarchal societies like victorian england, there were specific circumstances such as being divorced or deserted that would entitle women to own property. in roman times vestal virgins could retire (after 30 years of service) with rights far surpassing not just that of highborn men but of most men who held some kind of political office in general. they were able to not just hold property and vote but also free prisoners and slaves. while it wasn't (and still isn't) always actually upheld in the law of the state, hindu law and islamic law both protect a women's right to own her own property even while married. at the same time there would have been several societies with different laws for women and even under the most restrictive regimes there are always exceptions.
@deepfried8758 this is a common feeling, it's normal to feel like you aren't "woman" enough in a world that judges you based on how many standards you fit. However, no matter how you look, you'll remain a woman and no one can take it away from you
same like don't people not know what it means like it literally means that women are dumb and that is a sterotypical because if you're a girl, you're dumb which is not true like what do you mean you're using a gender as an excuse for getting something wrong like how is buying makeup 'just a girl'
11:08 its real, it really concernes me when I see new kids coming to my high school every year, im a senior now but the majority girls from younger classes almost always wear full make up. 14-15 year olds. And when a girl isnt wearing anything and wears normal, casual clothes it's considered weird. Literally younger and younger girls wear more and more make up and wearing it feels default now. Sad that natural face isnt enough for so many people. Ahhhhh and people buy more and more the same shit so they begin to look the same, those make up trends and overall trends take away peoples individuality. It feels sometimes that everyone want to look the same, act the same, think the same.. Hope it makes sense what ive written
Omg hi Yellew, I've missed u!! Thank u for always supporting my videos ❤❤❤ Oh, 100%. Dw, ur comment makes absolute sense. I completely agree that all these trends have influenced girls and young women to all act the same way and adopt the same style. Recently, it feels as if when you're not fitting into that style, you're a weird outsider, and sometimes you even get called a "pick me" 😵 it's so frustrating to see people lose their individuality for the sake of fitting into the cookie cutter, and it keeps us spending more and more money. So frustrating 😫 Thanks for the comment! ❤
I wanted to add how toxic this is to people who fall outside of the “girl” gender too, like transmasc and non binary. I am both and I hate seeing my upbringing and experiences be boiled down to “I’m just a girl”. It ENFORCES the gender binary and the notion that if you like girly things like makeup and pink then you must be a girl. I thought we left that shit in the past 🙃
This video just about sums up the issues I've been having this couple of months with the whole "girl" trend. I also want to add that its very annoying when girls assume that they are the only ones who can like "feminine" hobbies like for example make up, when there's a lot of people who don't identify as women that also like make up, and for girls to say things like "men could never understand this" or "only girls will get this" is counter productive and wrong because it's not even true, not every women will like "feminine" hobbies
Great video! You argue the point so eloquently. I recently lost a friend because my 'harsh realities' were too much for her... She preferred to stay in the rose-tinted world of chasing self-worth by buying the latest makeup trends, never taking agency because she's just a widdle girl, and refusing to work on herself.
@anexie4392 wow this comment is so sweet! I try my hardest to be well-spoken so it's very rewarding when someone points it out. Your friend will face the reality sooner or later 😭 it's inevitable. I hope it works out between you two ❤️
i read a book called "Affluenza", it was written in the early 2000s but it's arguments are still accurate for today's society. it's about the obsession with economic growth, consumption and work. the authors are both men, yet sometime in the book they spoke about how corporations will cover up their encouragement for women to indulge themselves in overworking and avoiding resting with being feminist. as though women are being empowered through wasting their time, money, energy and the environment.
girl, I get you. The only thing I love even more than hearing people yap about overconsumption (or doing it myself in my head cause nobody wants to listen) is seeing/watching people who fall victim to overconsumption realize it and do something about it. On that note, I’d be interested in hearing your take on the recent „underconsumption core“-TikTok trend and maybe a prediction on how long that’ll last or in which direction you think it’s headed
@@aesteryn girl tysm for this comment!! I'll keep the idea in mind, I was hesitant about it because it seems everyone has alrd talked ab it 😅 also its so real to yap in ur head 😭 no one wants to listen to me either that's why I started this youtube channel 😭 Have a good rest of ur day! ❤️❤️❤️
Girl, you're going places. Anyway, I'm so glad I was already and adult when social media exploded, which means my brain was fully developed to figure shit out.
You hit the nail right in the head omfg I feel like you’ve articulated all my thoughts in such a fun and informative way 🫡 This video was godsend I hope more ppl watch this and realize the effect of lumping all girls into one negative entity lolol
I'm happy I chose to study IT because everyone dress like they want. You can see girly girl, Tom boy, causal girl in the same row in the lectures. Also some boys dress very elegant and others come in in sweatpants or the same outfit everyday. Also my job is to get things to work not to look pretty so I can show up in casual clothes to intership.
i found that being a gay trans boy is more liberating than falling into girl math. overconsumption and aesthetic culture pressured me so much that i ditched it all and live completely minimalist i have only one binder, i stopped watching anime, and i ditched booktok to only read fanfiction
when i clicked on this video, i had no idea it was from a small creator and i couldn’t tell until i looked at your profile. this video was so well done and professional!!
i have to say i disagree with the notion of "there is no boy version of this" cause weve all been hearing the world saying "boys will be boys" when it comes to anything from petty fights to actual assault. i feel like it falls into the same kinda vibe. like, this is my gender and i can not help these behaviors.
@@countbeccula I understand the point you're trying to make, but "boys will be boys" is used by everyone in order to justify men's awful behaviours as "part of their nature" at the expense of women. Men benefit from this statement because it means they can get away with more. Women, however, do not benefit from saying "I am just a girl;" this sentence only only harms us because it affirms negative stereotypes about our incompetence and, in the process, benefits men because it solidifes them as the "superior sex". Men benefit from saying, "Boys will be boys," women do not benefit from saying, "I am just a girl." Men do. Both of these statements benefit men at the expense of women, regardless of who is saying them. Saying things like "I am just a girl" or "girl math" just leaves us more useless because it gives us an opportunity not to improve ourselves and leaves us falling behind. While these two statement are similar, they are not the same at all, and they definitely have different impacts on men and women.
my mom was a housewife for 20 years (she has a job now). she was tired and unhappy all the time. im older and have a lot of spare time so i try my best to help around the house and its so tiring. having to clean, do the laundry, ironing everyday, then having your siblings undo all that work in just a few hours and treat you like a maid is so depressing. i feel so bad for what my mom had to go through all those years and i cant believe someone would choose this willingly and glamorize it. being a housekeeper is grueling manual labour that youll never see money for or even a word of grattitude.
It’s so annoying seeing all of those unnecessary things being labelled as “Girl essentials” and “things every girl needs” or “I’m just a girl” as if every girl is supposed to spend that much money on their makeup and beauty collections and such. Or those 15-step skincare routines advertising supposed “self-care” products. Taking care of yourself and femininity has now become associated with spending money on beauty treatments, instead of the free options such as spending time with yourself. I myself don’t even use Tiktok, yet these things manage to permeate my feed in the other apps that I do have. Being a girl is already so expensive: menstrual products, handbags (because we don’t have pockets), hair dryers, accessories, expensive hair cuts… a lot of us feel the need to have basic makeup and skincare… and then ON TOP OF THAT these videos try to convince us that we need to have our nails done every week and that we need to put these light gadgets on our face to have clear skin. Being a girl is not spending money. Being a girl is to just LIVE LIFE as a girl.
@@mehisnice exactly. Being a girl isn't about spending money on unnecessary stuff it's simply about being a girl! Like u said, being a girl is expensive as it is, we don't need influencers telling us we need to spend MORE
8:57 aaaa I totally agree. I have a few family members who are housewives and the work they do is anything but easy and picturesque. I honestly find it somewhat demeaning when people undermine the things they have to do, as if caring for children, cooking and cleaning isn't a full time job??? Also this is the first video of yours Ive seen and it's so so good. Criminally underrated, honestly.
hi!! Tysm for the comment! Of course, being a housewife is a very difficult job, but I see people undermining it left and right Thank u so much for the compliment! I hope u enjoy my other videos, too ❤ have a good rest of your day x
Honestly feminism has been slowly going round a cycle were we're starting to eat our own tail, think a snake in a circle, or something. Same with some queer rights and etc. It's getting ridiculous. I've heard a lot of older people talk about, myself including, this wasn't what we fought for and that's just heart breaking to me.
I love this type of videos so much like we definitely realized how bad it is to keep shopping and not know how to stop esp now we have this underconsumption trend
No way u only have 147 subscribers!! This video essay is so well made. If you post frequently, I have no doubt you'll grow your channel quickly. I love this video and all the points you made. I don't ever want to shame other girls for wearing makeup, but I find it so disturbing how almost every girl wears makeup daily while most boys I know have ever worn makeup in their life. Companies pretend that it's about empowerment, but they are only trying to sell more products, and make more profit. Sending joy to you and your channel💌
@quackinthechat. thank you so so much ❤️ I will try posting more frequently (its a goal of mine). Your support means the world to me, and it motivates me to work harder xoxo You're right, it's really frustrating how women are expected to wear makeup while in so many cultures, men aren't even expected to be clean! 😭 Thanks for the comment xoxo
this video is so dang fantastic and well researched, and i love your voice! its very calming i wouldnt have thought this deeply about it, but now i will
I think for some people using the "I'm just a girl" line about having to work, they're caught in a double bind. Not working and losing independence is demeaning, but so is working and still not making enough money to actually live. Nobody looks at a retail job and thinks "wow, look at those people being liberated from poverty and learning self-respect!"
Excellent video! I especially appreciated the part about choice feminism. I'm about ready to fight someone the next time someone justifies a bad decision with ✨feminism is about choice✨ as if there's no spectrum in between being literally forced by law and making decisions in a vacuum devoid of any social influence, or as if there are no meaningful consequences to actions. Feminism is about EQUALITY, and while being able to make our own choices is one of the products of that, we need to recognize that everyone's choices are still influenced to some degree by a variety of outside factors, and it also doesn't absolve us of the negative impacts of the choices we make.
@@f.autumn.1904 Exactly! No one talks about the consequences many choices women make can have on oneself and also women as a whole. So many choices a woman makes are considered "empowering" when they are anything but. Thank you so much for the kind comment!
Great points made here, but I'd like to add some other factors in this self-infantilization, which admittedly marketers have taken, exploited, and run with. I'm speaking specifically as a millennial woman, and talking about how girlhood was viewed in my upbringing. I'm a woman, and I'm not the greatest at math, im an impulsive spender, and still can't pass a road test despite being in my 30s. Sometimes i forget dinner has to be made until I'm famished and emd up throwing together a mishmash of snacks. These aren't girl traits though, they're ADHD traits. Many neurodiverse women of my generation (and past ones) didn't get a diagnosis and treatment until adulthood, while our male counterparts often got help in elementary school. Furthermore, we were told that "girls mature faster than boys", that we had to be the responsible ones, sometimes looking after siblings, taking on extra household chores, etc. Since we had to behave older, we figured we may as well get the privileges of being older, such as trendy clothes and hair, makeup, etc. Looking older was the biggest compliment, and anything associated with little girls (bows, frills, pink, anything too "cute") was devalued and mocked, while boys still got to keep superheroes, skateboards, dinosaurs into adulthood. Girls being into those things was "cool" though, at age, leading to the "not like other girls" phenomenon. After years of trying to be the mature, responsible, yet "cool girl" (think Gone Girl), many of us hit a point of exhaustion, went to therapy, and some of us found out we've been doing life on Hard mode, and feel cheated out of a childhood we had to leave too soon. We start reading up on Inner Child work, and want to return to things that brought us joy in childhood, which is why we're drawn to makeup that looks like the Polly Pockets we had in kindergarten, and why we use "cringey" childish language sometimes. Adding to this, we grew up watching our mothers work full-time, and still have to take on the lioness's share of household tasks of a housewife while dad sat on the couch, and later often finding similar dynamics within our own relationships, and those of our friends and peers. Some of us think "if I'm a full time housewife anyway, why not just quit my job so i can have more time to get stuff done?" The problem is that with wage stagnation, one income doesn't stretch as far as it used to, and many of us have grown accustomed to a two-income standard of living. Many of the "housewife/sahm" influencers are actually earning a substantial income (or at least free products) from their content, and often have generational wealth to start with, which creates a false expectation of the reality of being a housewife, sahm, etc. Since many of us can't actually afford this lifestyle, we make it up to ourselves with "little treats". Have you heard of the lipstick index? During a recession, most consumer goods purchases drop, but lipstick (and in 2008, it was nail polish) purchases go up. Why? Simply because it's a lot easier to find $20 for a new lipstick than $200 for a hair appointment or $2000 for a vacation. Advertisers watched all this happen, and like i said, ran with it. There's a whole generation, likely two (I'd love to hear a Gen Z speak on their experiences compared to mine) with a fragile sense of self, craving "little treats" to make their lives palatable. Adding to this how social isolation is increasing, people are looking to parasocial relationships to fill a need, and you've got what I'll call Bestie Marketing. Someone presenting herself as trustworthy because she's *just like you* (is she?) talking to you in intimate, friendly tones about how you need this thingamajig, just like a friend giving you advice over bunch. This was long and rambling but i hope someone read this and took something, anything at all, from this.
Tbh I do love talking about "girl math" to see men go bright red in the face (I actually am into finances as a hobby, and have a better portfolio than the men I piss off). But the reality is that any of my "stupid spending" is actually within my allocated budget for that month, *after* I've already paid my mortgage payment, and put the majority of my earnings into their relavent high interest accounts/pension/etc. if I spend £100 on something frivilous, it's because I have £100 allocated to spend on something frivilous already set aside. Any "girl math" applied on top of that doesn't really change anything except annoying others who can't see I'm having them on. edit, to add: I used to feel this constant need to prove that I was competent. To prove that I was Not Like The Stereotype (ie, a normal fucking woman cause few women are) and honestly? All it did was exhaust me, because you don't end up proving that WOMEN are not the stereotype. It doesn't teach men. All it does is make them think you are "not like *other girls* " when no "girls" are "like that" anyway. You end up in a constant state of proving to the next man that you are "worthy". True worth is having your own power, and then people can draw their own opinions. Obviously at work this doesn't apply, be strong, be assertive, ask for more money because girl there *IS* a man at your company with less experience and fewer qualifications being paid more than you. I'll bet my life on that. But outside of a professional setting? Outside of times when we need to be serious? Fuck with them, I say. TL;DR: Hot girls contribute to their pensions (401k if you're american). But there's nothing wrong with fucking with men who are already going to see you as less, especially when you know you are worth more (even better if you know you're worth more financially)
@MarlopolyGaming this is a completely different situation! Taking care of your finances and joking about being incompetent to piss men off is not the same as being irresponsible and justifying it as "girl math". When a woman is irresponsible and calls it "girl math" she internalizes the idea that women are irresponsible, and what starts as a joke becomes something she actually believes. Edit: also, I never said all spending is frivolous! Like I said, I own and occasionally enjoy makeup, the problem is when it becomes negligent overspending on behalf of being a girl. Shopping is fine when done within moderation, that's not what the point of the video is
@cilene9812 babes I dont own one either it's an expression, not a literal statement 😭 it just insinuates over-spending or debt. Yeah, building credit is good because a high credit score means banks trust you more when you want to buy important things like a car or house!
The "I am just a girl" comes from "boys will be boys" as a joke since they both are a dumb thing to say if ur fr, but I think it shouldn't be an excuse for everything.
I love makeup, I've always loved to smear colorful and sparkly substances over various surfaces lol! But I'm also not blind and can see in the mirror that I look very sickly without makeup and I prefer to look fresh and healthy. That's just my type of beauty. Oh and I wear it everyday, because I like to. As for the backlash for not looking feminine - I assume this video I made for an American audience. Where I live however, you can look however you want and no one is gonna bat an eye. So yeah, it's not an universal problem I guess.
@lenamanka5542 you think you look sickly without makeup because the patriarchy has convinced you that you look abnormal without it 😭 this is the point I try to argue in the video. Men are considered healthy and fresh without makeup, why aren't women? Thanks for the comment
@@narmichelli not all man look healthy, it's just that patriarchy has them convinced they can't wear makeup. And please stop it, I have brain. How do you know how I look like? It's like you argued patriarchy made me think I need a tattoo to look prettier so I shouldn't get one 🤦🏻♀️
@@lenamanka5542 exactly, not all men look healthy, but they are still not expected to wear makeup the way women do! Men don't worry about how they look without makeup, why should women? Why are women always expected to look like models even if it doesn't call for it? I don't know what you look like nor have I ever claimed to and honestly, it doesn't matter how you look. It doesn't matter how beautiful or ugly you are, women are still expected to put more effort into their appearance than men, and sometimes these rituals can, at best, tire us, and at worst, harm us and make us spend lots of money. And yes, in this hypothetical statement that you built, you shouldn't get a tattoo just because society expects you to. I shouldn't have to say this.
@@narmichelli You realize you're a slave of society if you literally can't do certain things just because it wants you to do them? Things are not so black and white. And no, not everyone is pretty, it's statistically imposible. That being said, you made a lot of good points and the video itself was very interesting. I'll end my discussion here, because youre lines are rather scripted and it'd be pretty boring for me. I got better things to do. Toodles.
op didn't say you looked bad and in your original comment you even said you thought you looked sickly. Why are you being defensive when you insulted yourself first?
If I ever hear someone irl say "girlmath" I will fight them.
@@seaangel1430 it genuinely sounds ridiculous
My coworkers and I definitely say it ironically. Idk if it makes it better or worse that we are all female software engineers and many with math degrees. The unironic part is that many of us eat stereotypical girl dinners on the regular.
Isn't "I'm just a girl" a form of weaponized incompetence? It keeps getting mentioned that there's no "boy form" of what's going on, but isn't the idea of 'girl math' similar to when husbands say they don't know how to do laundry or the dishes?
Omg, I never thought ab it that way, but you're right 😭 it's literally just weaponized incompetence 😭
I would say the equivalent would be “boys will be boys” which is a gendered excuse for immature or bad behavior. Women’s spending, even if demanded by societal norms, will always be seen as frivolous. Men “earn” their toys: trophy wives, sports cars, boats etc.
That is not applied to women’s consumer spending: make-up , bras,heels etc. these are items that you will be ,generally, looked down on for not applying but will not get you any true respect either. Not like a man with a nice car at least.
Weaponized incompetence in men , such as not knowing how to change a diaper, or doing it wrong so you aren’t asked to engage in “feminine” labor is just selfishness.
Women, especially single ones who live alone, suddenly pretending to not know how to make a budget as soon as they start dating… is a survival mechanism.
The most feminine get the ones with the most resources, tale as old as time. If tomorrow men said “wow female CPAs are so sexy and make the best wives” 100s of women would sign up for accounting classes.
iirc the whole "i'm just a girl" thing was a reclaiming of "boys will be boys", and men use that phrase to get away with just about anything so girls online said why can't women?
@@mushmush4980 however the whole point of this video is how that saying undermines what it is being a woman and in fact hurts women's reputation and only feeds into age old stereotypes about women, whether it's a "girls girl" inside joke or not. Even then, just because men and the majority of the world have said "boys will be boys" for generations as an excuse doesn't exactly give them the best representation and reputation within a lot of women now either, no? It's immature both ways, no matter how you look at it.
@@mushmush4980and even if the beginning's intention was to "reclaim" that saying, this whole situation got way out of hand only for companies and cooperations to use that saying with influencers they sponsor to make you feel like you're joining in it, when it reality it's only a) making them more money and b) further proving women's stereotype!
as a girl in STEM, the whole concept of 'girl math' makes me so angry because women have had to fight tooth and nail to get acceptance in STEM fields and now women are just reinforcing the stereotype that 'girls aren't smart enough to do math'. I have to hear sickening shit from my male classmates all the time but now so many people with a platform are using it to trivialise them and other women's intelligence.
@swara4704 gurll I'm not even in STEM, but I can't imagine how frustrating it must be 😭. STEM is such a male dominanted field that my sister says her lecture hall is usually only men, and she has to go through the same stuff! But I hope that never dissuades you! Keep going, Ignore the people who trivialise women cause you know you're so much more ❤️ thanks for the comment!
Its easier said than done, you can’t ignore the people you have to work for and with everyday when you’re always being teased for anything you do
as a girl who can't do maths due to dyscalculia it bothers me too. my lack of ability with maths is literally a learning disability, don't even start me on that patronising girl maths crap I will scream (also I always wanted to get into STEM so yeah life sucks lol)
Is it really that serious?? As someone who is in my last year of my STEM degre & everyone (including the men) know the “girl math” is just a joke & my classmates and I say it all the time and laugh. 😭😭. Women are outpacing men in STEM and any other types of degrees for that matter… “Girl math” is not setting women back in STEM, take a joke. As far as consumerism and credit card debt… yes it is.
As someone who's also in STEM, girlmath is a joke, I do agree that it is definitely feeding into overconsumption because tiktok is gonna tiktok but you also need to keep in mind that most economies are not doing well and in such cases small things like a lip product become luxuries. It is not girl math to spend hundreds of dollars in one store, but it is girl math to buy that pricey lip balm on 20% off even though it makes little to no difference because that's all you can afford to splurge on.
We need to stop getting serious at obvious jokes made by women just the way men do.
woman have always been working thought-out history even before the 40s.
Yeah but didn’t have much control of finances
@@Maya-db4wfThey certainly did. Most of the worst jobs you could have were done by widows and "spinsters".
@@Maya-db4wf nah, that really depends on when in history you're referencing and even then it depends on which women specifically you are talking about. the norse didn't just allow women to own property (which gave them control of their own finances) but also to conduct business on an equal level to men. even in highly patriarchal societies like victorian england, there were specific circumstances such as being divorced or deserted that would entitle women to own property. in roman times vestal virgins could retire (after 30 years of service) with rights far surpassing not just that of highborn men but of most men who held some kind of political office in general. they were able to not just hold property and vote but also free prisoners and slaves. while it wasn't (and still isn't) always actually upheld in the law of the state, hindu law and islamic law both protect a women's right to own her own property even while married. at the same time there would have been several societies with different laws for women and even under the most restrictive regimes there are always exceptions.
i hate the “i’m just a girl” trend so much, i feel like i’m not even being a women right cause i hate it sm
@deepfried8758 this is a common feeling, it's normal to feel like you aren't "woman" enough in a world that judges you based on how many standards you fit. However, no matter how you look, you'll remain a woman and no one can take it away from you
same like don't people not know what it means like it literally means that women are dumb and that is a sterotypical because if you're a girl, you're dumb which is not true like what do you mean you're using a gender as an excuse for getting something wrong like how is buying makeup 'just a girl'
11:08 its real, it really concernes me when I see new kids coming to my high school every year, im a senior now but the majority girls from younger classes almost always wear full make up. 14-15 year olds. And when a girl isnt wearing anything and wears normal, casual clothes it's considered weird. Literally younger and younger girls wear more and more make up and wearing it feels default now. Sad that natural face isnt enough for so many people. Ahhhhh and people buy more and more the same shit so they begin to look the same, those make up trends and overall trends take away peoples individuality. It feels sometimes that everyone want to look the same, act the same, think the same..
Hope it makes sense what ive written
Omg hi Yellew, I've missed u!! Thank u for always supporting my videos ❤❤❤
Oh, 100%. Dw, ur comment makes absolute sense. I completely agree that all these trends have influenced girls and young women to all act the same way and adopt the same style. Recently, it feels as if when you're not fitting into that style, you're a weird outsider, and sometimes you even get called a "pick me" 😵 it's so frustrating to see people lose their individuality for the sake of fitting into the cookie cutter, and it keeps us spending more and more money. So frustrating 😫
Thanks for the comment! ❤
I wanted to add how toxic this is to people who fall outside of the “girl” gender too, like transmasc and non binary. I am both and I hate seeing my upbringing and experiences be boiled down to “I’m just a girl”. It ENFORCES the gender binary and the notion that if you like girly things like makeup and pink then you must be a girl. I thought we left that shit in the past 🙃
I'm in the same painful and chronically annoyed boat.
This video just about sums up the issues I've been having this couple of months with the whole "girl" trend. I also want to add that its very annoying when girls assume that they are the only ones who can like "feminine" hobbies like for example make up, when there's a lot of people who don't identify as women that also like make up, and for girls to say things like "men could never understand this" or "only girls will get this" is counter productive and wrong because it's not even true, not every women will like "feminine" hobbies
@@moonie6368 "being a girl is about..." and it's something that has absolutely nothing with being a girl
Great video! You argue the point so eloquently. I recently lost a friend because my 'harsh realities' were too much for her... She preferred to stay in the rose-tinted world of chasing self-worth by buying the latest makeup trends, never taking agency because she's just a widdle girl, and refusing to work on herself.
@anexie4392 wow this comment is so sweet! I try my hardest to be well-spoken so it's very rewarding when someone points it out.
Your friend will face the reality sooner or later 😭 it's inevitable. I hope it works out between you two ❤️
i read a book called "Affluenza", it was written in the early 2000s but it's arguments are still accurate for today's society. it's about the obsession with economic growth, consumption and work. the authors are both men, yet sometime in the book they spoke about how corporations will cover up their encouragement for women to indulge themselves in overworking and avoiding resting with being feminist. as though women are being empowered through wasting their time, money, energy and the environment.
@@yuenmienyu absolutely! Thanks for the recommendation, I'll try to read it! ❤️
girl, I get you. The only thing I love even more than hearing people yap about overconsumption (or doing it myself in my head cause nobody wants to listen) is seeing/watching people who fall victim to overconsumption realize it and do something about it. On that note, I’d be interested in hearing your take on the recent „underconsumption core“-TikTok trend and maybe a prediction on how long that’ll last or in which direction you think it’s headed
@@aesteryn girl tysm for this comment!! I'll keep the idea in mind, I was hesitant about it because it seems everyone has alrd talked ab it 😅 also its so real to yap in ur head 😭 no one wants to listen to me either that's why I started this youtube channel 😭
Have a good rest of ur day! ❤️❤️❤️
Girl, you're going places. Anyway, I'm so glad I was already and adult when social media exploded, which means my brain was fully developed to figure shit out.
@iridium7554 thank u 😭❤️
@@narmichelli Anytime ☺️
You hit the nail right in the head omfg I feel like you’ve articulated all my thoughts in such a fun and informative way 🫡 This video was godsend I hope more ppl watch this and realize the effect of lumping all girls into one negative entity lolol
@@rohannie_ omg tysm, this is such a sweet comment! 😭❤️🫶
The research and history bits in the video had me hit subscribe faster than an influencer tells you to run, not walk
@@Ravenousxrellik thank u! 😭❤️
I'm happy I chose to study IT because everyone dress like they want. You can see girly girl, Tom boy, causal girl in the same row in the lectures. Also some boys dress very elegant and others come in in sweatpants or the same outfit everyday.
Also my job is to get things to work not to look pretty so I can show up in casual clothes to intership.
i found that being a gay trans boy is more liberating than falling into girl math. overconsumption and aesthetic culture pressured me so much that i ditched it all and live completely minimalist
i have only one binder, i stopped watching anime, and i ditched booktok to only read fanfiction
when i clicked on this video, i had no idea it was from a small creator and i couldn’t tell until i looked at your profile. this video was so well done and professional!!
@bblundy01 oh my god thank u so much! 😭❤️
i have to say i disagree with the notion of "there is no boy version of this" cause weve all been hearing the world saying "boys will be boys" when it comes to anything from petty fights to actual assault. i feel like it falls into the same kinda vibe. like, this is my gender and i can not help these behaviors.
@@countbeccula I understand the point you're trying to make, but "boys will be boys" is used by everyone in order to justify men's awful behaviours as "part of their nature" at the expense of women. Men benefit from this statement because it means they can get away with more. Women, however, do not benefit from saying "I am just a girl;" this sentence only only harms us because it affirms negative stereotypes about our incompetence and, in the process, benefits men because it solidifes them as the "superior sex".
Men benefit from saying, "Boys will be boys," women do not benefit from saying, "I am just a girl." Men do. Both of these statements benefit men at the expense of women, regardless of who is saying them.
Saying things like "I am just a girl" or "girl math" just leaves us more useless because it gives us an opportunity not to improve ourselves and leaves us falling behind.
While these two statement are similar, they are not the same at all, and they definitely have different impacts on men and women.
my mom was a housewife for 20 years (she has a job now). she was tired and unhappy all the time. im older and have a lot of spare time so i try my best to help around the house and its so tiring. having to clean, do the laundry, ironing everyday, then having your siblings undo all that work in just a few hours and treat you like a maid is so depressing. i feel so bad for what my mom had to go through all those years and i cant believe someone would choose this willingly and glamorize it. being a housekeeper is grueling manual labour that youll never see money for or even a word of grattitude.
@@foxy_fatality being a housewife is definitely not easy at allll that's why it's so upsetting to see influencers pretend it's easy and cute work.
I did not work my butt off for a degree and an apprenticeship to be a stay at home wife, that’s all I’ll say
@@bethbaxter2922 100%
It’s so annoying seeing all of those unnecessary things being labelled as “Girl essentials” and “things every girl needs” or “I’m just a girl” as if every girl is supposed to spend that much money on their makeup and beauty collections and such. Or those 15-step skincare routines advertising supposed “self-care” products. Taking care of yourself and femininity has now become associated with spending money on beauty treatments, instead of the free options such as spending time with yourself. I myself don’t even use Tiktok, yet these things manage to permeate my feed in the other apps that I do have. Being a girl is already so expensive: menstrual products, handbags (because we don’t have pockets), hair dryers, accessories, expensive hair cuts… a lot of us feel the need to have basic makeup and skincare… and then ON TOP OF THAT these videos try to convince us that we need to have our nails done every week and that we need to put these light gadgets on our face to have clear skin. Being a girl is not spending money. Being a girl is to just LIVE LIFE as a girl.
@@mehisnice exactly. Being a girl isn't about spending money on unnecessary stuff it's simply about being a girl!
Like u said, being a girl is expensive as it is, we don't need influencers telling us we need to spend MORE
8:57 aaaa I totally agree. I have a few family members who are housewives and the work they do is anything but easy and picturesque. I honestly find it somewhat demeaning when people undermine the things they have to do, as if caring for children, cooking and cleaning isn't a full time job???
Also this is the first video of yours Ive seen and it's so so good. Criminally underrated, honestly.
hi!! Tysm for the comment!
Of course, being a housewife is a very difficult job, but I see people undermining it left and right
Thank u so much for the compliment! I hope u enjoy my other videos, too ❤ have a good rest of your day x
my sister needs to hear this so badly
🫡🫡🫡
Honestly feminism has been slowly going round a cycle were we're starting to eat our own tail, think a snake in a circle, or something. Same with some queer rights and etc. It's getting ridiculous. I've heard a lot of older people talk about, myself including, this wasn't what we fought for and that's just heart breaking to me.
yep. there's so much infighting in said circles meanwhile alt-right groups are getting bigger because everyone in there agrees on the same cause
I love this type of videos so much like we definitely realized how bad it is to keep shopping and not know how to stop esp now we have this underconsumption trend
@@wayvislife thank u so much!
Thanks for this really well-done and eloquent video! You gained yourself a new subscriber🥳
@Schokobon111 thank you!!!!
No way u only have 147 subscribers!! This video essay is so well made. If you post frequently, I have no doubt you'll grow your channel quickly. I love this video and all the points you made. I don't ever want to shame other girls for wearing makeup, but I find it so disturbing how almost every girl wears makeup daily while most boys I know have ever worn makeup in their life. Companies pretend that it's about empowerment, but they are only trying to sell more products, and make more profit. Sending joy to you and your channel💌
@quackinthechat. thank you so so much ❤️ I will try posting more frequently (its a goal of mine). Your support means the world to me, and it motivates me to work harder xoxo
You're right, it's really frustrating how women are expected to wear makeup while in so many cultures, men aren't even expected to be clean! 😭
Thanks for the comment xoxo
the way you talk and explain things is just perfect i could listen to you for hours !!
@@bbbbamj4948 omg thank u so much!
this video is so dang fantastic and well researched, and i love your voice! its very calming
i wouldnt have thought this deeply about it, but now i will
@misdreavusplush oh my god, this is so sweet!! I'm so glad you like my voice, I thought it was grating / irritating 😭 thank u!!
Really great video. I enjoyed the discussion on aesthetic/trends and hyperconsumption ❤. Hope your channel grows!
@@stanlevi2927 thank you! Your support motivates me to work harder xoxo
I think for some people using the "I'm just a girl" line about having to work, they're caught in a double bind. Not working and losing independence is demeaning, but so is working and still not making enough money to actually live. Nobody looks at a retail job and thinks "wow, look at those people being liberated from poverty and learning self-respect!"
you're so underrated?? great commentary, funny editing, historical bits?
instant subscribe
@@Starry_Tones thank uu 😭❤️
Excellent video! I especially appreciated the part about choice feminism. I'm about ready to fight someone the next time someone justifies a bad decision with ✨feminism is about choice✨ as if there's no spectrum in between being literally forced by law and making decisions in a vacuum devoid of any social influence, or as if there are no meaningful consequences to actions. Feminism is about EQUALITY, and while being able to make our own choices is one of the products of that, we need to recognize that everyone's choices are still influenced to some degree by a variety of outside factors, and it also doesn't absolve us of the negative impacts of the choices we make.
@@f.autumn.1904 Exactly! No one talks about the consequences many choices women make can have on oneself and also women as a whole. So many choices a woman makes are considered "empowering" when they are anything but.
Thank you so much for the kind comment!
This is so true. This video is awesome and I can’t believe you have under 200. You are gonna blow up.
@@teehee5700 thank you!
This is genuinely a really good video
thank you so much!!
Great points made here, but I'd like to add some other factors in this self-infantilization, which admittedly marketers have taken, exploited, and run with. I'm speaking specifically as a millennial woman, and talking about how girlhood was viewed in my upbringing.
I'm a woman, and I'm not the greatest at math, im an impulsive spender, and still can't pass a road test despite being in my 30s. Sometimes i forget dinner has to be made until I'm famished and emd up throwing together a mishmash of snacks.
These aren't girl traits though, they're ADHD traits. Many neurodiverse women of my generation (and past ones) didn't get a diagnosis and treatment until adulthood, while our male counterparts often got help in elementary school.
Furthermore, we were told that "girls mature faster than boys", that we had to be the responsible ones, sometimes looking after siblings, taking on extra household chores, etc. Since we had to behave older, we figured we may as well get the privileges of being older, such as trendy clothes and hair, makeup, etc. Looking older was the biggest compliment, and anything associated with little girls (bows, frills, pink, anything too "cute") was devalued and mocked, while boys still got to keep superheroes, skateboards, dinosaurs into adulthood. Girls being into those things was "cool" though, at age, leading to the "not like other girls" phenomenon.
After years of trying to be the mature, responsible, yet "cool girl" (think Gone Girl), many of us hit a point of exhaustion, went to therapy, and some of us found out we've been doing life on Hard mode, and feel cheated out of a childhood we had to leave too soon. We start reading up on Inner Child work, and want to return to things that brought us joy in childhood, which is why we're drawn to makeup that looks like the Polly Pockets we had in kindergarten, and why we use "cringey" childish language sometimes.
Adding to this, we grew up watching our mothers work full-time, and still have to take on the lioness's share of household tasks of a housewife while dad sat on the couch, and later often finding similar dynamics within our own relationships, and those of our friends and peers. Some of us think "if I'm a full time housewife anyway, why not just quit my job so i can have more time to get stuff done?" The problem is that with wage stagnation, one income doesn't stretch as far as it used to, and many of us have grown accustomed to a two-income standard of living. Many of the "housewife/sahm" influencers are actually earning a substantial income (or at least free products) from their content, and often have generational wealth to start with, which creates a false expectation of the reality of being a housewife, sahm, etc.
Since many of us can't actually afford this lifestyle, we make it up to ourselves with "little treats". Have you heard of the lipstick index? During a recession, most consumer goods purchases drop, but lipstick (and in 2008, it was nail polish) purchases go up. Why? Simply because it's a lot easier to find $20 for a new lipstick than $200 for a hair appointment or $2000 for a vacation.
Advertisers watched all this happen, and like i said, ran with it. There's a whole generation, likely two (I'd love to hear a Gen Z speak on their experiences compared to mine) with a fragile sense of self, craving "little treats" to make their lives palatable. Adding to this how social isolation is increasing, people are looking to parasocial relationships to fill a need, and you've got what I'll call Bestie Marketing. Someone presenting herself as trustworthy because she's *just like you* (is she?) talking to you in intimate, friendly tones about how you need this thingamajig, just like a friend giving you advice over bunch.
This was long and rambling but i hope someone read this and took something, anything at all, from this.
Tbh I do love talking about "girl math" to see men go bright red in the face (I actually am into finances as a hobby, and have a better portfolio than the men I piss off).
But the reality is that any of my "stupid spending" is actually within my allocated budget for that month, *after* I've already paid my mortgage payment, and put the majority of my earnings into their relavent high interest accounts/pension/etc.
if I spend £100 on something frivilous, it's because I have £100 allocated to spend on something frivilous already set aside. Any "girl math" applied on top of that doesn't really change anything except annoying others who can't see I'm having them on.
edit, to add: I used to feel this constant need to prove that I was competent. To prove that I was Not Like The Stereotype (ie, a normal fucking woman cause few women are) and honestly? All it did was exhaust me, because you don't end up proving that WOMEN are not the stereotype. It doesn't teach men. All it does is make them think you are "not like *other girls* " when no "girls" are "like that" anyway. You end up in a constant state of proving to the next man that you are "worthy". True worth is having your own power, and then people can draw their own opinions. Obviously at work this doesn't apply, be strong, be assertive, ask for more money because girl there *IS* a man at your company with less experience and fewer qualifications being paid more than you. I'll bet my life on that.
But outside of a professional setting? Outside of times when we need to be serious? Fuck with them, I say.
TL;DR: Hot girls contribute to their pensions (401k if you're american). But there's nothing wrong with fucking with men who are already going to see you as less, especially when you know you are worth more (even better if you know you're worth more financially)
@MarlopolyGaming this is a completely different situation! Taking care of your finances and joking about being incompetent to piss men off is not the same as being irresponsible and justifying it as "girl math". When a woman is irresponsible and calls it "girl math" she internalizes the idea that women are irresponsible, and what starts as a joke becomes something she actually believes.
Edit: also, I never said all spending is frivolous! Like I said, I own and occasionally enjoy makeup, the problem is when it becomes negligent overspending on behalf of being a girl. Shopping is fine when done within moderation, that's not what the point of the video is
Good for you only majority of people don't use "girl math" like that or see it that way
this video is incredible!!! something i would see in a women and gender studies course in college
@addiet4340 oh wow thank you that's amazing to hear!! ❤️
Very well spoken about a very important topic😊
Thank u so much! ❤
I really hope that this video reaches more people!!! keep going!!
@@熊谷ニキ thank you so much!
Thought they were a RUclipsr with 30k subs, good quality vids!
@@3v3erm0re thank you so much!!
i hope this video gets viral
@@boluddei thank you so much! ❤️
Omg !! I am a new subscriber and I already love it!!!💖💖😩😩
@@irintsoa0907 thank u!!!
defs not the right video to watch with my morning make up routine,,, defs agree tho
hahaha like I said in the vid makeup is not inherently bad so it's fine lol!
The title of this video!! 💯
@@daezea came to me in a dream 💯
You get it
@@wisherHQ978 🫡🫡🫡
You only spoke fact !
@@alicejoly4268 thank you! ❤️
This was an amazing video! Subscribed. Will be checking out your other videos now 😊
@@Hizbanhotel omg thank u so much this means the world!!!
this is great!
@@pikadegallo_ thank you!
Jokes on you I don’t own a credit card lmaooooo. I honestly need to get one bc apparently it’s important to build credit
@cilene9812 babes I dont own one either it's an expression, not a literal statement 😭 it just insinuates over-spending or debt.
Yeah, building credit is good because a high credit score means banks trust you more when you want to buy important things like a car or house!
The "I am just a girl" comes from "boys will be boys" as a joke since they both are a dumb thing to say if ur fr, but I think it shouldn't be an excuse for everything.
I'm just a victim xD
12:52 this is so real 💀
@@pikadegallo_ 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
WOAH YOU GOT SO MANY VIEWS CONGRATS DID MY PREVIOUS COMMENT FOR STATISTICS ACTUALLY HELP???
I THINK IT ACTUALLY DID
@@narmichelli remember me when youre famous okkk
@@yellew6246 I will literally never forget you Yellew I promise
💜💜💜
yeahhhhh
I love makeup, I've always loved to smear colorful and sparkly substances over various surfaces lol! But I'm also not blind and can see in the mirror that I look very sickly without makeup and I prefer to look fresh and healthy. That's just my type of beauty. Oh and I wear it everyday, because I like to. As for the backlash for not looking feminine - I assume this video I made for an American audience. Where I live however, you can look however you want and no one is gonna bat an eye. So yeah, it's not an universal problem I guess.
@lenamanka5542 you think you look sickly without makeup because the patriarchy has convinced you that you look abnormal without it 😭 this is the point I try to argue in the video. Men are considered healthy and fresh without makeup, why aren't women?
Thanks for the comment
@@narmichelli not all man look healthy, it's just that patriarchy has them convinced they can't wear makeup. And please stop it, I have brain. How do you know how I look like? It's like you argued patriarchy made me think I need a tattoo to look prettier so I shouldn't get one 🤦🏻♀️
@@lenamanka5542 exactly, not all men look healthy, but they are still not expected to wear makeup the way women do! Men don't worry about how they look without makeup, why should women? Why are women always expected to look like models even if it doesn't call for it?
I don't know what you look like nor have I ever claimed to and honestly, it doesn't matter how you look. It doesn't matter how beautiful or ugly you are, women are still expected to put more effort into their appearance than men, and sometimes these rituals can, at best, tire us, and at worst, harm us and make us spend lots of money.
And yes, in this hypothetical statement that you built, you shouldn't get a tattoo just because society expects you to. I shouldn't have to say this.
@@narmichelli You realize you're a slave of society if you literally can't do certain things just because it wants you to do them? Things are not so black and white. And no, not everyone is pretty, it's statistically imposible. That being said, you made a lot of good points and the video itself was very interesting. I'll end my discussion here, because youre lines are rather scripted and it'd be pretty boring for me. I got better things to do. Toodles.
op didn't say you looked bad and in your original comment you even said you thought you looked sickly. Why are you being defensive when you insulted yourself first?