I'm gonna say something that I kinda wish I was told whilst going through miscarriage especially since I find it absurd that we aren't taught this side of pregnancy in school when we should be. the biology and science that goes into a pregnancy is already hard to get your head around and like everything there is a chance of something during conception being wrong and the fact our body can recognise that is pretty magical, despite how devastating it is especially when its a pregnancy you're happy about. so I think reframing it in your head can sometimes really help, like as women our bodies are so badass. just be nice and kind to yourself because your body was protecting you💕
I agree with this as someone who went through a miscarriage as well.. it doesn’t make it easier right away per se, but your body did save this baby from pain
Such a cute pup! Big hugs hunni, I am a mum and it is hard to have to put a brave face on. You’re strong and brave and a brilliant mummy. Love to you and Z I hope he is ok xxx
Milena Ciciotti is one of my favorite youtubers and she went through something similar recently. She is always so encouraging and her story is so beautiful. I would highly recommend her channel. I am so sorry for your loss! Praying for you and your family. 🙏
I would also highly highly recommend reading the book of Job. It goes into the question of why bad things happen to good people, and gives a really good perspective. 🤍🕊
One thing about you is that you always pick yourself up. Youre always trying to find a way to make sense of the things that happen to you and that is very brave of you. To try things and question them and be ok to change perspective. That is admirable. Thank you for sharing ❤
You are so strong Renee, your videos have always made me happy and you are helping a lot more people than you know. I hope you heal soon. Sending love to you and Z ♥️
Hope it's okay to share this but personally I found it very helpful, one of my favorite authors John Gwynne lost his young daughter and wrote about grief recently, hope this brings some comfort to you that every day can be different but you will be okay
‘Walk alongside’ is so perfectly said. Because there is no getting through or over this. It will always hurt. But it will hurt differently at different times. And some day some of that pain will be like a beautiful longing filled with love. Until it again changes its form. It truly changes you at the depth of being you never knew you had.
I’ve went through the same thing a few times, people always say “oh just look at your other child and be happy”.. it was the WORST. My therapist was the one who was like listen yeah you have a beautiful boy already but it is okay for you to grieve the child you loss and what would’ve been. Lick your wounds, sending you so much love🩵
@@aeterna581 Losing your child is different hurt than the hurt of not being able to have on biologically. They are both pain but not the same, so someone who lost a child shouldn't be grateful just because they have another. They need support and a place to grieve and heal and not a "get over it, you're still lucky." Let's be kind to people who are sharing with us what they went through.
Love and prayers are going out to you! It's easy to be mad at God when this happens...I've been there. He doesn't make bad things happen or allow it. Sin entered the world and corrupted it. He sent His son to make it right and one day there will be no more pain, suffering, or tears. Sin and evil is where our blame and anger should be directed at. God will make all this right in time. Sending all my love!
I know you said you didn't want advice, which is difficult for me to refrain from because I'm older and a former teacher. It just spills out 🙊so I'll hold my tongue and just say you look beautiful today. I can see the justifiable sadness underneath the smile, but you sure look cute holding that adorable puppy. I think Aria was sent to you to provide comfort while you heal. Thank you for sharing with us. All my love and healing energy to you, Z, Bryson and the whole family! ❤❤❤
Renee, I'm so sorry. Ive been listening to an album that goes through asking these questions, why does God allow things that seem cruel, being honest with God about these questions. It's a heavy album, but I highly recommend listening to it. It's called All My Questions by Bethany Barnard. Praying for you sweet friend!
I couldn’t possibly understand what you’re going through and I’m so deeply sorry and pray for healing and ultimate peace above all. I understand the “why” questions & definitely ask the same sometimes but I have found peace in the unknown and having overarching faith that there is a purpose and there is a bigger plan in all of this and just to cling on to that even if you can’t see it right now. I pray that you are reminded of the way that you clung to God and your faith when Bryson was in the nicu and how that got you through it and if you do the same now, you will come out the other side stronger even if that feels impossible for a while. Sending love and peace over you and your family. ❤
Hi. I'm sorry for your loss. I had a missed/silent loss of pregnancy in March 2024 (and a D&C), 9 weeks pregnant. Asking courageous questions is important and some people are satisfied with superficial answers especially coming from religions because "magic" is easy, quite gentle, and often works as a quick fix. Why do these things happen - perhaps because the universe doesn't care about you (us). And people do care, very much. We are meaning seeking species. Orienting myself towards practically-minded thinking and the idea that life is simply random is where I found my answers. I wish you all the best ❤
Happy Friday Renee! 🎉🥰 Take it one day at a time. Do not, please do not make life changing decisions at this time. Just take a moment to breathe & stay in gratitude for Bryson, your mom, siblings and Z, no matter what. God loves you❣️ Me too!🥰
Sending you so much love and support. I’m also a loss mom, and I also went through many dark months of questioning my purpose, my future, my beliefs, my spirituality. I hope you and your loved ones can treat you with lots and lots of kindness and grace during this time. ❤
So glad you are checking in… just talking about things helps so much. It is a weird time emotionally. You will be overcome with grief and then guilt steps in and you think did I do something wrong? And then there’s questioning and anger. It’s such a rocky road. But we will be here for you as you navigate. Love and healing prayers coming your way!
im just now catching up on youtube and hearing about your miscarriage. im so sorry youve had to go thru this! my first two pregnancies ended in miscarriage within 3 months of each other. it was absolutely devastating. after that, we tried for another year with no luck. we were finally able to conceive with fertility meds and get pregnant. our son is now 11 years old. anyway, going thru the miscarriages was so difficult at the time and i will always remember those babies, but once i had my son, it made me appreciate him so much more, if thats even possible 💖 sending love and prayers to you and your family!
@@PoisonEyevee @Z.78 It's just my feeling... But I don't think he's supporting her as much as she needs in this very difficult time. I know it's just a ring, but I noticed Renee suddenly stopped wearing the ring she got from Zander. She wore it for over a year, it looked like she never took it off... I don't know, her words just make me feel like this sad event has torn them apart... But I hope I'm wrong.
@@czpavliI think that @Z.78 was maybe Zander asking why also! 😬 ....... I never got weird vibes but maybe that he's just not very emotional, he's just either very plain like white bread or there's not enough love. It could be just for show but the recent lovey dovey posts on IG they had for each other showed me that maybe i'm wrong 🤷♀️
Renee you should listen to the song “The Architect” by Kacey Musgraves if you haven’t already. It kind of goes along with your questioning of who’s in charge letting these things happen. Oh and also the song “Bigger than the whole sky” by Taylor Swift. These both seem to go along with what you’re going through. ❤
I went through a miscarriage at 19 and never got pregnant after that not be choice. I'm 54 and know I'll never have kids and that makes me sad. I'll say a prayer for you in church on Sunday
You are so strong Renee, your videos have always made me happy, you help so many people out here than you know. I hope you heal soon. Sending all the love to you and Z ♥️
Good morning Renee! Happy Saturday! My daily devotional focused on Jeremiah 29:11. God knows the plans he has for you, good plans, not to hurt you. He gives you Hope & a Good future. I'm sharing this reminder with you & anyone else who reads this. You are loved. Stay grateful for what you have. Stay positive & in hope. I love you. Our Father & our dads are watching over us❣️ 🎉
I've been through two losses one early and one at 14 weeks, DNC and then on to have two more kids. It just takes time to heal..you're on the right track. Life is definitely full of trials and tribulations. We learn from these shitty experiences. It really does shape us and cause growth. I think of life as a school for our soul to grow. It also caused my husband and I to get closer. We've been together since 1995! Give yourself time 🌻 things will start looking up soon. Take care
My husband and I lost three babies before our most recent baby. Losing babies took the faith I had away. I couldn’t handle everyone telling me it was God that did it. Everything you said was so relatable!
I think your resilience has been the most empowering thing out of your channel. You have so much to share and give but regardless I don't forget that you have been through so much and I admire the lows and the highs of your soul. Your actual person is what is so much more important to me than just watching to watch, you've created a inspiring and also vulnerable space for all of us. Because that is what humans go through so you are so much more than an "influencer" if that makes sense. You're real, always, and to me, that is most important and appreciated. Thank you Renee ❤
Sending you love and support! Also wanted to give my thoughts regarding questioning why God can allow bad things etc from my faith (Islam). We believe that we can never understand the bigger picture so as humans with limited knowledge even when bad things happen we always accept it and are grateful because we understand that our creator (God) always has a reason even if its something bad, good and blessings will always follow and thats part of the journey of life which also teaches us to be grateful for the good things like your example of being more grateful towards what happened with Bryson. Also we believe that when God gives us trials and tests its because he loves us and wants to bring us closer to him with these hardships and eventually reward us for them in the hereafter. Sending you prayers and love x
Taking it one day at a time and living in the moment would be great thing to strive for ❤ you are very motivated and constantly striving for self improvement so it must to be challenging to slow down and focus on healing. That may be what your mind and body is craving, maybe you need to sit with your emotions instead of distracting yourself towards a certain goal. Making a major change right now will only further distract you but it won't heal what you're experiencing. Ram Dass has great lectures and books on loss and getting comfortable with difficult emotional experiences so that may help
Renee, you have gone thru so much. Its ok to take a break, take time to heal. You have found a great partner in Zaander and havinhg your Mom there now is definitely a blesding. Take care if yourself first! ❤
Some of us get it when bad things happen to us and some of us can understand it just by observing the things happening around the world... And the lucky ones never find out...
I experienced something so similar at 12 weeks with my last pregnancy and needed emergency surgery. I’m so sorry you had to experience loss as well. A book that really helped me answer my Faith questions is “More than a Healer” by Costi Hinn.
You don't need to be worrying about what's best for you and your family right now. This is all new and there's no rush to make any major decisions. Just take it day by day ...
Hi Renee, I'm sorry you went through all of this. I hope things will improve and even though I don't agree with some of your choices, I am wishing you strength and peace to grieve and recover. Life is strange, both terrible and beautiful at the same time. I wanted to come here and say that things like loss often teach us many things about life and about ourselves, and it seems that you have already notice this. Don't be afraid to reassess what you believe in. Religion or life goals are tools that help us navigate life, they are not set in stone. I hope this helps and you can see through some of the comments you might get from those who only want you to follow a specific type of 'God' or belief. What happened to you was not necessarily part of any greater plan. But you can still pull through, learn from it (specifically about medical and health issues related to your case and experience) and move on knowing that you have done what's best for you. Wishing you all the best.
very real talk and i respect and love you more and more for that! more power to you and Z Renee.. please take your time to heal and come back stronger than ever
Renee... You're amazing! I've watched you since you were in your first/old apartment.. And you've grown sooooooo much! I'm so sorry for everything you're going through... You DO help us.. You bring so much value to our lives.. Thank you..
I think it's very healthy that you're living day to day and not making big decisions, you need lots of time to heal, I think it's best to leave making deicisions for after you've healed. 💗💓❤🩹
Dear Renee. So sorry for your loss and praying for healing and calmness of your body and spirit. Nothing you did or God did but only He knows why your body had to reject such a precious being. Certainly out of your control. As you speak of Bryson as a blessing I pray you don’t let your faith spiral. Who knows why bad things happen to the good and vice versa, good to the bad. Sometimes life will be lifing. As I listen to you speak about Bryson your miracle baby and how you and Zander were able to reminisce I see hope. I can only pray that when you are able you can take this opportunity to anchor your faith even deeper in God, the author and finisher of your faith and Creator of life. I pray you don’t allow this sadness to overwhelm you and rob you of your dreams. Let your tears wash away the sadness so in time you will all smile again. I will continue to pray for you, Zander and family. You maybe feeling frail but I still see an unshakable strength. Blessings!❤
You are a survivor. Thank you for always being so vulnerable and open with us. I’m sure it’s helping a lot of others feel seen and not so alone during their own struggles. You’ve been through so much the last few years, but we’ve seen you come out of it stronger, healthier and eventually happier. I’m so sorry that you and Z are having to go through this. I’m so glad that you guys have Bry and sweet Aria. If there’s anything that you need from us please let us know. 💛
I thought you believed in Jesus? Continue to lean on Him during this time. I would encourage you ask your pastor or other people in your life who have been in the faith some for some guidance and understanding to your question of “why do bad things happen.” You probably won’t get a “right” answer, but there are plenty of biblical perspectives on that question. Even having your own quiet time and asking the Lord yourself that question will give you some clarity. Ask and you shall receive . He wont leave you- especially now 💛
Technically, there are no words that anyone can say about your situation to make you feel better (including me). I don’t really tell anyone my personal business, but when I was 17 years old I had an abortion. It was my choice (no one else’s). I still grieve for my child to this very day (I’m 44 years old). Miscarriages are known as a “spontaneous abortion”. It doesn’t matter what the books or therapists say. A life is a life. You have every right to grieve in your own way. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. They can pretty much go somewhere else. Like I said in your last video, you have to find a way to keep going. Not for your family, but for yourself because you’re the one who has the authority over your own body, emotions, and experiences. Everyone processes grief differently. I hope what I shared helps a little. Take care and God Speed❤😊💋 -The Prophetess Nastacia
On your thought process about spirituality and the questions you are left with... I always come back to one thing that makes the most sense: everything makes more sense to me if there ISN'T an omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent "God". That's literally the only thing that actually makes everything that happens in this world make more sense to me. I'm agnostic, but I believe there could have been a creator, but that creator is more than likely "hands off".
Hi Renee, I know your in a reading era. Check out the book “The Wild Edge of Sorrow” by Francis Weller. The number one book I recommend to anyone going through grief & who has similar questions as you do from the very frustrating confusion that loss can bring us.
I few the same way about religion. I’m basically agnostic leaning atheist. I don’t think that there is any great being out there, it’s so illogical to me. But the fact is that I don’t know and I’m ok not knowing. I was surprised when you started becoming more religious , didn’t seem like you I wish you the best of luck on your journey
Hi Renee, I have also experience a miscarriage at 28 .Today I am 67 and retired , had only 1 daughter at age 30. Miscarriage happen only God knows what will happen tomorrow, please don’t give up your faith and your relationship with Z, because that’s the First thing I noticed from this video is your fingers. Looks like you are not wearing the ring that Z gave you. Hope you guys are ok😪
I understand that you are in the weeds of this nightmare right now and that hearing a response like this at this time might not “hit” as well as it may when you are having better days. But felt like I might offer an “answer” I once heard when I asked why God allows bad/horrible things to happen to good people or anyone in general. One person said that God offers freedom. And that means Freedom of choice and that we are not forced to follow Him or love Him or accept Him. It’s a choice we get to make. If He forced us then it wouldn’t be true genuine love that He has for us as our Father. Just like a parent would want to give their child a choice. So with that freedom in choosing good vs evil, that does unfortunately mean there is evil in this world. And even Jesus himself was not exempt from it when He was on Earth. I’ve always tried to remind myself of that. That even when Jesus was on Earth He endured pain, betrayal, mockery, evil, etc. so who am I to think I should be exempt from that because I’m a “good person.” I think that answer just offers perspective. But on really bad days I still struggle with it. But in the long run my relationship with Jesus has helped me through so much, I can’t imagine going through bad days without him. Sorry for being long winded but I’ve been praying for you and your family and hope for better days ahead for you. 🤍
Nothing takes that pain away but God can help you. There is no rhyme or reason as to why he allows us to go through these things. But it’s important not to give up with your faith and reach out to God to be your Heavenly Father. Cleave to your husband and grieve, communication is important. You are not alone and it will always be a void but know you will see your baby in heaven. God will carry you through this and just remember to reach out to him for comfort! ❤
It's hard to see in experiences of grief and pain, or confusion, where God is amongst it all. You're not alone in feeling through your human experience whatever it is you're feeling ❤
I didn't comment your last video where you shared your heartbreaking news, because I just felt whatever I wanted to say was actually not enough for you at that moment...when you go through something so tough, it's hard to find words to make it less painful. So I let it be. And now you said yourself that you are like a lion who likes to stay alone for a while and lick the wounds. I just hope you know I am here for you and you are in mu thoughts! I have never been through something like that, but my sister lost her baby when she was a bit over 5 months pregnant. It was devastating.. For all of us. But eventually she got through it, came out stronger that I thought anyone was ever capable. Now she says that the only thing that comforts here about that situation is thinking that probably the baby was so sick that if she/he would have been born, it would have been very disabled and their life would have been more suffering that anything else. So the nature made the choice to stop that so that the child wouldn't have to live and suffer. That was her way of seeing it, but it took time to find a "reason" for why it happened. I just wanted to let you know that eventually you will find your own reason, whatever that is. 💕
I know this might be hard to grasp because you are still in the thick of it. God has these things happen so we grow to our divine potential, if everyone were the same we’d never grow. Life would be quite mundane that way. If good things always happened there’d be no need for faith, our lives belong to him, and his plans for us. I’ve been where you are twice. What happened also is your body working to protect you and keep you safe. Sending you and your family lots of love. 💖
You are such an amazing human- your ability to connect on a soul level has always inspired me! Maybe not knowing the answers is an answer in itself… it’s ok to be exactly where you are from moment to moment. And I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your wisdom in knowing that one day your story will help someone who’s struggling. You will be ok💞💞💞💞
So sorry for what you’ve been through, Renee. While there is sin and evil in this world, God is not causing it. He sent Jesus to save us from this world. He does promise to be with us at all times and to comfort us. He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalms 34:18). Prayers for you and your family! ❤
![Natanael Cano - Amor Eterno [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EO4prCs6WpM/mqdefault.jpg)
You know you love gardening. Maybe plant a rose bush or just something with pretty flowers that you can nourish in memory of lost love.❤️
love your transparency about faith and just simply not knowing right now. very real
I'm gonna say something that I kinda wish I was told whilst going through miscarriage especially since I find it absurd that we aren't taught this side of pregnancy in school when we should be. the biology and science that goes into a pregnancy is already hard to get your head around and like everything there is a chance of something during conception being wrong and the fact our body can recognise that is pretty magical, despite how devastating it is especially when its a pregnancy you're happy about. so I think reframing it in your head can sometimes really help, like as women our bodies are so badass. just be nice and kind to yourself because your body was protecting you💕
I agree with this as someone who went through a miscarriage as well.. it doesn’t make it easier right away per se, but your body did save this baby from pain
Thank you for being so honest. I can't even imagine how hard this has been for you. Sending love and healing to you and your family. ❤
I’m so sorry Renee❤️You are always so encouraging and resilient and I look up to you in so many ways! Sending you lots of love!
Take all the time you need and love on all around you.sweet puppy.
Thank you for sharing and being so open. You may not feel it but you are incredibly strong… I’m in awe. 💌
Such a cute pup! Big hugs hunni, I am a mum and it is hard to have to put a brave face on. You’re strong and brave and a brilliant mummy. Love to you and Z I hope he is ok xxx
Milena Ciciotti is one of my favorite youtubers and she went through something similar recently. She is always so encouraging and her story is so beautiful. I would highly recommend her channel.
I am so sorry for your loss! Praying for you and your family. 🙏
I would also highly highly recommend reading the book of Job. It goes into the question of why bad things happen to good people, and gives a really good perspective. 🤍🕊
Highly recommend milena as well after losing her baby at 17 weeks
One thing about you is that you always pick yourself up. Youre always trying to find a way to make sense of the things that happen to you and that is very brave of you. To try things and question them and be ok to change perspective. That is admirable. Thank you for sharing ❤
Aria is so sweet ❤️ glad you are healing
My heart breaks for you, I was so excited to see you making a comeback with all the uplifting videos! I hope you can find your way back there again ❤
Me too .I was excited and hoped she’ll carry full term too .
You are so strong Renee, your videos have always made me happy and you are helping a lot more people than you know. I hope you heal soon. Sending love to you and Z ♥️
Hope it's okay to share this but personally I found it very helpful, one of my favorite authors John Gwynne lost his young daughter and wrote about grief recently, hope this brings some comfort to you that every day can be different but you will be okay
‘Walk alongside’ is so perfectly said. Because there is no getting through or over this. It will always hurt. But it will hurt differently at different times. And some day some of that pain will be like a beautiful longing filled with love. Until it again changes its form. It truly changes you at the depth of being you never knew you had.
@@KasThinks We might have the same name if you're Polish haha and that was perfectly said
I’ve went through the same thing a few times, people always say “oh just look at your other child and be happy”.. it was the WORST. My therapist was the one who was like listen yeah you have a beautiful boy already but it is okay for you to grieve the child you loss and what would’ve been. Lick your wounds, sending you so much love🩵
Why it's worst? There are a lot of people who are not so lucky to have any children. Or have sick children. Or their children died. Be grateful.
Truly the worst!
@@aeterna581 Losing your child is different hurt than the hurt of not being able to have on biologically. They are both pain but not the same, so someone who lost a child shouldn't be grateful just because they have another. They need support and a place to grieve and heal and not a "get over it, you're still lucky." Let's be kind to people who are sharing with us what they went through.
Love and prayers are going out to you! It's easy to be mad at God when this happens...I've been there. He doesn't make bad things happen or allow it. Sin entered the world and corrupted it. He sent His son to make it right and one day there will be no more pain, suffering, or tears. Sin and evil is where our blame and anger should be directed at. God will make all this right in time. Sending all my love!
Amen 🙏 praying for you Renee!
I know you said you didn't want advice, which is difficult for me to refrain from because I'm older and a former teacher. It just spills out 🙊so I'll hold my tongue and just say you look beautiful today. I can see the justifiable sadness underneath the smile, but you sure look cute holding that adorable puppy. I think Aria was sent to you to provide comfort while you heal. Thank you for sharing with us. All my love and healing energy to you, Z, Bryson and the whole family! ❤❤❤
Renee, I'm so sorry. Ive been listening to an album that goes through asking these questions, why does God allow things that seem cruel, being honest with God about these questions. It's a heavy album, but I highly recommend listening to it. It's called All My Questions by Bethany Barnard. Praying for you sweet friend!
I couldn’t possibly understand what you’re going through and I’m so deeply sorry and pray for healing and ultimate peace above all. I understand the “why” questions & definitely ask the same sometimes but I have found peace in the unknown and having overarching faith that there is a purpose and there is a bigger plan in all of this and just to cling on to that even if you can’t see it right now. I pray that you are reminded of the way that you clung to God and your faith when Bryson was in the nicu and how that got you through it and if you do the same now, you will come out the other side stronger even if that feels impossible for a while. Sending love and peace over you and your family. ❤
the sleeping puppy is everything :)
Hi. I'm sorry for your loss. I had a missed/silent loss of pregnancy in March 2024 (and a D&C), 9 weeks pregnant. Asking courageous questions is important and some people are satisfied with superficial answers especially coming from religions because "magic" is easy, quite gentle, and often works as a quick fix. Why do these things happen - perhaps because the universe doesn't care about you (us). And people do care, very much. We are meaning seeking species. Orienting myself towards practically-minded thinking and the idea that life is simply random is where I found my answers. I wish you all the best ❤
I hope your relationship with Z is okay 🙏.
Happy Friday Renee! 🎉🥰 Take it one day at a time. Do not, please do not make life changing decisions at this time. Just take a moment to breathe & stay in gratitude for Bryson, your mom, siblings and Z, no matter what. God loves you❣️ Me too!🥰
Sending you so much love and support. I’m also a loss mom, and I also went through many dark months of questioning my purpose, my future, my beliefs, my spirituality. I hope you and your loved ones can treat you with lots and lots of kindness and grace during this time. ❤
So glad you are checking in… just talking about things helps so much. It is a weird time emotionally. You will be overcome with grief and then guilt steps in and you think did I do something wrong? And then there’s questioning and anger. It’s such a rocky road. But we will be here for you as you navigate. Love and healing prayers coming your way!
Aria is a cutie pie❤, so sorry you've been through a lot recently Renee. Hugs to you x
im just now catching up on youtube and hearing about your miscarriage. im so sorry youve had to go thru this! my first two pregnancies ended in miscarriage within 3 months of each other. it was absolutely devastating. after that, we tried for another year with no luck. we were finally able to conceive with fertility meds and get pregnant. our son is now 11 years old. anyway, going thru the miscarriages was so difficult at the time and i will always remember those babies, but once i had my son, it made me appreciate him so much more, if thats even possible 💖 sending love and prayers to you and your family!
I am having weird feelings about Zander...
I probably shouldn't ask but, like what?
@@PoisonEyevee @Z.78 It's just my feeling... But I don't think he's supporting her as much as she needs in this very difficult time. I know it's just a ring, but I noticed Renee suddenly stopped wearing the ring she got from Zander. She wore it for over a year, it looked like she never took it off... I don't know, her words just make me feel like this sad event has torn them apart... But I hope I'm wrong.
He gives me bad vibes too since the beginning. 😣
@@czpavliI think that @Z.78 was maybe Zander asking why also! 😬 ....... I never got weird vibes but maybe that he's just not very emotional, he's just either very plain like white bread or there's not enough love. It could be just for show but the recent lovey dovey posts on IG they had for each other showed me that maybe i'm wrong 🤷♀️
Renee you should listen to the song “The Architect” by Kacey Musgraves if you haven’t already. It kind of goes along with your questioning of who’s in charge letting these things happen. Oh and also the song “Bigger than the whole sky” by Taylor Swift. These both seem to go along with what you’re going through. ❤
I went through a miscarriage at 19 and never got pregnant after that not be choice. I'm 54 and know I'll never have kids and that makes me sad. I'll say a prayer for you in church on Sunday
You are so strong Renee, your videos have always made me happy, you help so many people out here than you know. I hope you heal soon. Sending all the love to you and Z ♥️
I'm so sorry, Renee. God bless you greatly. Health and peace. ❤🙏🏾
Good morning Renee! Happy Saturday! My daily devotional focused on Jeremiah 29:11. God knows the plans he has for you, good plans, not to hurt you. He gives you Hope & a Good future. I'm sharing this reminder with you & anyone else who reads this. You are loved. Stay grateful for what you have. Stay positive & in hope. I love you. Our Father & our dads are watching over us❣️ 🎉
I've been through two losses one early and one at 14 weeks, DNC and then on to have two more kids. It just takes time to heal..you're on the right track. Life is definitely full of trials and tribulations. We learn from these shitty experiences. It really does shape us and cause growth. I think of life as a school for our soul to grow. It also caused my husband and I to get closer. We've been together since 1995!
Give yourself time 🌻 things will start looking up soon. Take care
My husband and I lost three babies before our most recent baby. Losing babies took the faith I had away. I couldn’t handle everyone telling me it was God that did it. Everything you said was so relatable!
I think your resilience has been the most empowering thing out of your channel. You have so much to share and give but regardless I don't forget that you have been through so much and I admire the lows and the highs of your soul. Your actual person is what is so much more important to me than just watching to watch, you've created a inspiring and also vulnerable space for all of us. Because that is what humans go through so you are so much more than an "influencer" if that makes sense. You're real, always, and to me, that is most important and appreciated. Thank you Renee ❤
The relief of letting go can unveil the hidden burdens we've been carrying. Find liberation in release.
I admire your authenticity ❤
Sending you love and support! Also wanted to give my thoughts regarding questioning why God can allow bad things etc from my faith (Islam). We believe that we can never understand the bigger picture so as humans with limited knowledge even when bad things happen we always accept it and are grateful because we understand that our creator (God) always has a reason even if its something bad, good and blessings will always follow and thats part of the journey of life which also teaches us to be grateful for the good things like your example of being more grateful towards what happened with Bryson. Also we believe that when God gives us trials and tests its because he loves us and wants to bring us closer to him with these hardships and eventually reward us for them in the hereafter.
Sending you prayers and love x
Taking it one day at a time and living in the moment would be great thing to strive for ❤ you are very motivated and constantly striving for self improvement so it must to be challenging to slow down and focus on healing. That may be what your mind and body is craving, maybe you need to sit with your emotions instead of distracting yourself towards a certain goal. Making a major change right now will only further distract you but it won't heal what you're experiencing. Ram Dass has great lectures and books on loss and getting comfortable with difficult emotional experiences so that may help
Renee, you have gone thru so much. Its ok to take a break, take time to heal. You have found a great partner in Zaander and havinhg your Mom there now is definitely a blesding. Take care if yourself first! ❤
Some of us get it when bad things happen to us and some of us can understand it just by observing the things happening around the world...
And the lucky ones never find out...
Take care of yourself. We will be there for you when you are ready ❤
I experienced something so similar at 12 weeks with my last pregnancy and needed emergency surgery. I’m so sorry you had to experience loss as well. A book that really helped me answer my Faith questions is “More than a Healer” by Costi Hinn.
I had a miscarriage as well. Also my son was born at 29 weeks. Cute puppy! love her color...
You don't need to be worrying about what's best for you and your family right now. This is all new and there's no rush to make any major decisions. Just take it day by day ...
Love you love you so much. You helped me a lot. Sending a huge hug. God bless you and your family 🧡🧡🧡
Hi Renee, I'm sorry you went through all of this. I hope things will improve and even though I don't agree with some of your choices, I am wishing you strength and peace to grieve and recover. Life is strange, both terrible and beautiful at the same time. I wanted to come here and say that things like loss often teach us many things about life and about ourselves, and it seems that you have already notice this. Don't be afraid to reassess what you believe in. Religion or life goals are tools that help us navigate life, they are not set in stone. I hope this helps and you can see through some of the comments you might get from those who only want you to follow a specific type of 'God' or belief. What happened to you was not necessarily part of any greater plan. But you can still pull through, learn from it (specifically about medical and health issues related to your case and experience) and move on knowing that you have done what's best for you. Wishing you all the best.
very real talk and i respect and love you more and more for that! more power to you and Z Renee.. please take your time to heal and come back stronger than ever
thanks for being so open and honest. take all the time you need. you're so incredibly strong. we are here for you! also aria is precious
You look amazing, Renee I’m sending you so much love ❤ you are my comfort person and you deserve all the happiness in the world x
We are with you through everything Renee ❤ we love you
Commenting to support you and your channel through this time. I have no words..💔 I can see your pain. I'm so sorry.
Sending lots of love, Renee 🤍 I wish you didn’t always have to be so strong
Love your videos Renee! You are so strong
Sending you and Zander much love x
Renee... You're amazing! I've watched you since you were in your first/old apartment.. And you've grown sooooooo much! I'm so sorry for everything you're going through... You DO help us.. You bring so much value to our lives.. Thank you..
I had a stillbirth at 25 weeks. I’m sorry for your loss ❤️💙
So sorry to hear that
I think it's very healthy that you're living day to day and not making big decisions, you need lots of time to heal, I think it's best to leave making deicisions for after you've healed. 💗💓❤🩹
you are such a strong women renee. i truly admire you. all the love to you and yours🤍
Oh my gosh her little puppy sounds are so cute!!! Your top (or is it a dress) is super cute. Take care of yourself!
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Dear Renee. So sorry for your loss and praying for healing and calmness of your body and spirit. Nothing you did or God did but only He knows why your body had to reject such a precious being. Certainly out of your control. As you speak of Bryson as a blessing I pray you don’t let your faith spiral. Who knows why bad things happen to the good and vice versa, good to the bad. Sometimes life will be lifing. As I listen to you speak about Bryson your miracle baby and how you and Zander were able to reminisce I see hope. I can only pray that when you are able you can take this opportunity to anchor your faith even deeper in God, the author and finisher of your faith and Creator of life. I pray you don’t allow this sadness to overwhelm you and rob you of your dreams. Let your tears wash away the sadness so in time you will all smile again. I will continue to pray for you, Zander and family. You maybe feeling frail but I still see an unshakable strength. Blessings!❤
You are a survivor. Thank you for always being so vulnerable and open with us. I’m sure it’s helping a lot of others feel seen and not so alone during their own struggles. You’ve been through so much the last few years, but we’ve seen you come out of it stronger, healthier and eventually happier. I’m so sorry that you and Z are having to go through this. I’m so glad that you guys have Bry and sweet Aria. If there’s anything that you need from us please let us know. 💛
You are allowed to be angry at God., and I know you said that you aren’t.
I’m praying for your hearts and your healing
Yes, He can take it. He knows what its like to lose His son too.
So sorry for your lost everything will be ok and God willing you will have another baby ❤❤❤❤love you
Sending a huge hug
I thought you believed in Jesus? Continue to lean on Him during this time. I would encourage you ask your pastor or other people in your life who have been in the faith some for some guidance and understanding to your question of “why do bad things happen.” You probably won’t get a “right” answer, but there are plenty of biblical perspectives on that question.
Even having your own quiet time and asking the Lord yourself that question will give you some clarity. Ask and you shall receive . He wont leave you- especially now 💛
Hey. What lip wear are you wearing? Your pup is so dang cute.
Sorry for everything you're going through.
Technically, there are no words that anyone can say about your situation to make you feel better (including me). I don’t really tell anyone my personal business, but when I was 17 years old I had an abortion. It was my choice (no one else’s). I still grieve for my child to this very day (I’m 44 years old). Miscarriages are known as a “spontaneous abortion”. It doesn’t matter what the books or therapists say. A life is a life. You have every right to grieve in your own way. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. They can pretty much go somewhere else. Like I said in your last video, you have to find a way to keep going. Not for your family, but for yourself because you’re the one who has the authority over your own body, emotions, and experiences. Everyone processes grief differently. I hope what I shared helps a little. Take care and God Speed❤😊💋 -The Prophetess Nastacia
On your thought process about spirituality and the questions you are left with... I always come back to one thing that makes the most sense: everything makes more sense to me if there ISN'T an omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent "God". That's literally the only thing that actually makes everything that happens in this world make more sense to me. I'm agnostic, but I believe there could have been a creator, but that creator is more than likely "hands off".
You just keep doing what your doing ney
Hi Renee, I know your in a reading era. Check out the book “The Wild Edge of Sorrow” by Francis Weller. The number one book I recommend to anyone going through grief & who has similar questions as you do from the very frustrating confusion that loss can bring us.
Renee,thinking of you and your family,you have so many good things if your life,sending you love.
I few the same way about religion. I’m basically agnostic leaning atheist. I don’t think that there is any great being out there, it’s so illogical to me. But the fact is that I don’t know and I’m ok not knowing. I was surprised when you started becoming more religious , didn’t seem like you
I wish you the best of luck on your journey
Sending love, Renee 💜
Hi Renee, I have also experience a miscarriage at 28 .Today I am 67 and retired , had only 1 daughter at age 30. Miscarriage happen only God knows what will happen tomorrow, please don’t give up your faith and your relationship with Z, because that’s the First thing I noticed from this video is your fingers. Looks like you are not wearing the ring that Z gave you. Hope you guys are ok😪
One day at a time 🩷
Highly recommend the article Why Do People Suffer? God's Existence & the Problem of Evil by Mohammad Elshinawy
I wish you all the best ❤
Sending love and prayers
I wish that you would put yourself before RUclips. The internet is not a substitution for real healing and connection.
Thinking of you all. Stay strong. 🤍
sending you strength and healing ❤🩹❤🩹❤🩹
Love you !!!
Where's your mom's dog at😊
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Another youtuber went through the same thing. Maybe you could reach out to her. It's Sara from our tribe of many.
It does get easier 💛
I understand that you are in the weeds of this nightmare right now and that hearing a response like this at this time might not “hit” as well as it may when you are having better days.
But felt like I might offer an “answer” I once heard when I asked why God allows bad/horrible things to happen to good people or anyone in general.
One person said that God offers freedom. And that means Freedom of choice and that we are not forced to follow Him or love Him or accept Him. It’s a choice we get to make. If He forced us then it wouldn’t be true genuine love that He has for us as our Father. Just like a parent would want to give their child a choice.
So with that freedom in choosing good vs evil, that does unfortunately mean there is evil in this world.
And even Jesus himself was not exempt from it when He was on Earth. I’ve always tried to remind myself of that. That even when Jesus was on Earth He endured pain, betrayal, mockery, evil, etc. so who am I to think I should be exempt from that because I’m a “good person.”
I think that answer just offers perspective. But on really bad days I still struggle with it. But in the long run my relationship with Jesus has helped me through so much, I can’t imagine going through bad days without him.
Sorry for being long winded but I’ve been praying for you and your family and hope for better days ahead for you. 🤍
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You look so beautiful
Nothing takes that pain away but God can help you. There is no rhyme or reason as to why he allows us to go through these things. But it’s important not to give up with your faith and reach out to God to be your Heavenly Father. Cleave to your husband and grieve, communication is important. You are not alone and it will always be a void but know you will see your baby in heaven. God will carry you through this and just remember to reach out to him for comfort! ❤
It's hard to see in experiences of grief and pain, or confusion, where God is amongst it all. You're not alone in feeling through your human experience whatever it is you're feeling ❤
I didn't comment your last video where you shared your heartbreaking news, because I just felt whatever I wanted to say was actually not enough for you at that moment...when you go through something so tough, it's hard to find words to make it less painful. So I let it be. And now you said yourself that you are like a lion who likes to stay alone for a while and lick the wounds. I just hope you know I am here for you and you are in mu thoughts!
I have never been through something like that, but my sister lost her baby when she was a bit over 5 months pregnant. It was devastating.. For all of us. But eventually she got through it, came out stronger that I thought anyone was ever capable. Now she says that the only thing that comforts here about that situation is thinking that probably the baby was so sick that if she/he would have been born, it would have been very disabled and their life would have been more suffering that anything else. So the nature made the choice to stop that so that the child wouldn't have to live and suffer. That was her way of seeing it, but it took time to find a "reason" for why it happened. I just wanted to let you know that eventually you will find your own reason, whatever that is.
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I know this might be hard to grasp because you are still in the thick of it. God has these things happen so we grow to our divine potential, if everyone were the same we’d never grow. Life would be quite mundane that way. If good things always happened there’d be no need for faith, our lives belong to him, and his plans for us. I’ve been where you are twice. What happened also is your body working to protect you and keep you safe. Sending you and your family lots of love. 💖
Our lives belong to us, which is very special and to be appreciated right now and not when we are gone.
You are such an amazing human- your ability to connect on a soul level has always inspired me! Maybe not knowing the answers is an answer in itself… it’s ok to be exactly where you are from moment to moment. And I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your wisdom in knowing that one day your story will help someone who’s struggling. You will be ok💞💞💞💞
Renee, you look amazing!
So sorry for what you’ve been through, Renee. While there is sin and evil in this world, God is not causing it. He sent Jesus to save us from this world. He does promise to be with us at all times and to comfort us. He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalms 34:18). Prayers for you and your family! ❤