As always, please be respectful of everyone involved in the comments even if you may disagree with their views. The allegations made in this video are all alleged, and I am just reporting on what has been made publicly available. Please be respectful and understanding to the victims and family members as they have boldly shared their trauma online.
Rachel Oates videos introduced me to Girl Defined. I feel like this was more about Brittany's own happiness of marriage instead of Brittany and David working together in the marriage. That's how i see it
Sorry, but no. I am not going to show any respect to extreme right wing fundies who idolize white nationalists, and train their daughters to give up on having any aspirations or identity of their own in order to become property of men.
I'm an hour and fifty minutes into this video, and my husband, who is half-listening from the other side of the room, just now asks me "So when does the murder happen?" ...he thought i was listening to a true crime podcast. 😂
Advocating against a sex Ed class but complaining about not knowing anything about sex and saying she needs a sex Ed class in adulthood is the most on brand Radical Christian take
Especially when you're charging people to take it from you because you learned 0.5 things about sex, but you don't need credentials, because your credential is Jesus.
Omg i thought the same!! They are all about purity till mariage but then they get martied and have problems even bigger intimacy problems. Like its real life chtistian catch 22. You are forbidden to masturbate and you wait till marriage for your "first" kiss (gurl you never kissed anybody before) but then complain its not at all what you have been told. Like wtf is this nonsense
@@allthatmatters7960I’m glad you are able to and really recommend it, even if it is just to take away nerves about ‘firsts’ I think some are raised in a household where it is indeed forbidden, I remember a doc about a doctor who lived nearby a very religious town and people would come in wishing to conceive but not knowing how. (This is a veryvery extreme version, but I think you get what I mean)
@@allthatmatters7960I don’t think you understanding what is being complained about. Purity culture wants women to have zero knowledge about sex before marriage. Then when it comes to marriage they must suddenly know enough about sex to pleasure there husbands. It’s as stated before a catch 22. A damn if you do damned if your don’t.
The whole Marilyn Monroe thing really p*sses me off. We now know that Marilyn had undiagnosed manic depression. Both her mother and grandmother died in mental institutions. How dare these stupid little girls say she wasn't happy for no real reason
Same. It is disgusting how they used her, wrongly, to promote their absurd platform. They also generalised horribly about all women saying Marilyn Munro "had all of the things women dream of but it still wasn't enough". Plenty of women do not care for even what is deemed the good stuff that Marylin had. The shallowness of those two seems to know no bounds.
@@It-is-me...MelsieAll they actually did was confess that they themselves wish to be liberated and embrace their sexuality/femininity, but since they cannot, they console themselves with the knowledge that even Marilyn Monroe was unhappy. Honesty, I’m surprised they implied to admiring Marilyn; I would have thought that they’d blame and shame her for being a “sex symbol.”
Marilyn's fame also came from gross men sexualizing her, without her consent. I'm pretty sure she was happy with her success since she grew up poor, but I cannot imagine the deep sadness of having your success come from being violated. She deserved so much more.
It's bonkers that Bethany & her husband admit openly they need marriage counseling while she's SIMULTANEOUSLY selling marriage courses! Besides having no educational credentials, she doesn't even have good experience cred!!
I mean marriage counseling doesn’t always mean your marriage is in the shitter. In fact I feel that everyone who can should go to marriage counseling. Marriage counseling can be a positive experience even for completely healthy marriages. It allows you to have a fresh set of eyes on your marriage. For example my husband and I go to marriage counseling because we have differing sex drives. Neither of us are wrong or bad for our sex drives but we needed help from a licensed counselor to help us figure out what to do about that. Even the healthiest of marriages have some sort of conflict and marriage counseling can teach you how to communicate properly, how to become closer to your spouse, how to build trust, etc. We don’t live in a vacuum and getting married doesn’t just solve all personal issues you might have due to mental illness or past traumas. Marriage counseling can help couples work through that in a helpful, professional environment.
I definitely agree saying that the shit she spews is not what people need at all. She has no credentials to work in that field at all. Im just saying marriage counseling is not always a last ditch effort kinda thing. It can help enhance an already healthy relationship.
I know I’m ranting a bit but I think that a couple agreeing to go to marriage counseling together is a beautiful thing. The fact that both people in the relationship decide that they want to enrich their connection together by allowing themselves to be vulnerable with a third party is something that I think is very special.
Yeahhh I don’t know how they didn’t see that God was like go college, by giving her multiple full ride scholarships to div 1 schools…..those girls are so so abused
I grew up in an evangelical home where purity was drilled into my head. I went to a purity ball, had a ring, and signed a card saying I would stay pure until marriage. Then I was SA'd as a teenager and my self-worth hit rock bottom. My parents blamed me for being SA'd and told me I must have dressed or acted in a way that made (insert name) think you wanted him. I was broken by what happened to me, and I felt guilty and worthless for not being pure anymore. Purity culture is toxic! It's taken years of trauma therapy to fix the damage the purity culture did.
I am a Christian, and I do not condone things like purity rings and purity balls. I find it creepy and controlling. I am so, so sorry for what happened to you and that the people who should've believed you failed you like that. Rooting for you. Good thing you found therapy.
I’m so sorry for your experience! That’s awful! No one should ever have to feel unworthy because of something someone else did. It’s so sad how different extreme views can hurt people.
I can't imagine ever denying my daughter an education. If they don't want to go to college, that's one thing. But to not ALLOW them to go?? That's just so wrong.
They will come into contact with people of other beliefs, other religions, and maybe they will even realise that their own cult is not all that great. Which is bad in these people's eyes. They see it as corruption.
This. Not to mention, a huge amount of jobs are locked behind college degrees. So without one, women are left with substantially less options for jobs to pay their bills and support themselves. Including most jobs that actually pay enough to live.
Denying women education so that they have no other choice than to stay at home with children and basically be as dependent on their partner as those children is quite literally on the same level of women’s rights as isis in Afghanistan. Also claiming it on gods natural order or something… like the similarities are kinda striking🤢
“You’re sad because you’re single” was their biggest talking point for YEARS because the younger sister was married before the older sister had a boyfriend. She wouldn’t shut up about it and now she’s married it’s nothing but sex.
My mom,who is an African and a strong Christian told me "when a person is using their religion to talk against something they see to be a sin,they are probably doing the same or worse. So they cover theirs with what others do."
@@stickerlady1774the issue with this is that it's the holy spirits place to correct and convict. The same as it's not the christians job to judge (spiritually speaking).
Yes I have family members that use scripture as a weapon to manipulate and shame to get what they want. They will say and treat people in a disgusting manner, refuse to apologize but force that person to forgive and forget because the Bible says so and if you don’t, you are not of God.
I have little sympathy for these girls, but my heart broke when Bethany was talking about basketball. She lit up with pure joy, you can tell she really loved it.
It’s sad that her dreams got crushed at that age. I hope there’s an alternate universe out there where she became a basketball star instead and got away from her oppressive family
Something like that happened to my grandmother in the 1950's. She got a basketball scholarship to a university but her father forbid her to take it. P.S. I haven't got to the part of the video mentioning the basketball yet. However your comment reminded me of that story about my grandmother.
@@mollietenpenny4093something similar happened to my grandmother’s sister. She was given an opportunity to sing opera and travel, but her husband forbid her from doing it.
Same. I can't help but imagine how different her life would be if she had been allowed to follow that dream. As someone who also grew up with an extremely narcissist mother who had the entire family wrapped around her fingers, I can't help but wonder how much of Bethany's behavior is just her mimicking her mom, still trying to get her approval, to prove her worth, and how much is her "true self".
I feel like she’s so obsessed with talking about s3x because she wasn’t allowed to have, talk, or think about it until she was married. & now that she’s married it’s all she can think about and all she wants to talk about .
I totally got this impression too. It reminds me that while in college, once me and my friends started to be s3xually active, we were *insufferable* for a few months because it was all we talked about!! It felt so new, such unexplored territory, so all our convos revolved around it; at the time our more experienced friends fondly called it "virgin syndrome" until the novelty wore off and we chilled out about it lol
Yeah, she’s going through what 16-18 girls went; the “omg my puberty started 5 years ago but NOW people will not judge me for thinking about sex!”except she was waiting like almost two decades to not only bang but kiss….
Here's something my parents did. Yes, we're religious (Catholic) and they said that ideally, sex should be something shared with someone you love/care about. I had the opportunity to have a sex ed class in middle school, they signed the permission slip without a second thought, they answered any questions I had, they were blunt and honest, they never hankered on to me to wait till marriage, I decided that. My parents even offered to get me birth control before I went off to college, which was so great of them, but I told them I wouldn't need it. Just because you want to wait to have sex, whether that's religion, personal choice, or whatever, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD WAIT TO EDUCATE YOURSELF, IT'S NOT WRONG TO LEARN ABOUT SEX. This is why I hear so many sheltered people unhappy with this aspect of their life. People get floored when I know more about sex, the human body, kinks, toys, etc., more than they do. And then they question my faith lmao
As a Protestant Christian, I agree wholeheartedly. While I choose to wait until marriage, the sex education classes really helped me become more aware. As a teen, my mom told me that if I ever felt that I was ready to have sex before marriage to make sure that I used some protection. She didn’t want me to have sex before marriage, I but I believe that she was aware of the various scenarios that could happen.
My very Christian mother drove me to get an abortion when I was 17. She was way too religious for my taste at that time, but she recognized a bad situation when she saw one and she wasn’t willing to ruin my life by forcing me to have the baby of an abusive and drug-addicted 22-year-old boyfriend who had tricked me into getting pregnant. I’ll always be grateful to her for letting me make my own decision and supporting me, not to mention paying the bill. As for not having sex before marriage, I definitely think it’s a good idea to be very careful. Don’t be promiscuous. There are too many ways sex harms women more than men. On the other hand, you won’t be sexually and romantically compatible with just any man, and I wouldn’t take the risk of getting legally bound to a man without testing the waters a bit. My mom married a man who had a much higher sex drive than her and was also uncomfortably large for her. They joke they only had sex 4 times in the 17 years they were together, LOL. (They had four kids.) They really weren’t sexually compatible, but they got married before having sex, so they didn’t know that until it was too late. Luckily, they’ve remained friends and are now both single in their 70’s and are good to each other. We all have a daily Marco Polo (video posting app) conversation and it’s great to have such a good family and parents who get along, decades after their divorce. Whatever you end up doing, I hope it goes well.
@@Priscilla-Prancercise hats off to your mom, and I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm so glad you're doing well. Yeah I get that its a bit risky, but that's also why I'm educating myself/exploring what I like. I love to read a lot of romance and erotic stuff and I make note of what excites me/turns me off. And I've gotten super comfortable with being blunt and saying things the way they are, no beating around the bush or giving something a nickname. Whoever my partner turns out to be, I sure as hell need to be able to talk to them about sex and communicate what I want/like if we're going to have sex. And thank you :)
My parents bought me a pack of condoms my freshman year. Told me that they knew forbidding it was just likely to make me take risks, so just be safe and let them know if I needed anything like that to do it safely.
Currently I am getting my masters degree in Christian theology, and one of my professors wrote that the problem with American Fundamentalists is that they make the goal of Christianity sexual purity and heterosexual monogamous marriage, when the real goal of Christianity is union with God. That idea really resonates with me. Bethany and Kristin talk way more about sexuality than the Bible does, ignoring the more central teaching of Jesus such as serving the poor and liberating people who are oppressed. I genuinely think attending bible college could have helped the sisters learn to think more deeply and authentically about interpreting scripture, rather than just spitting back the teachings of their parents.
You've probably done 10x the research that any hardcore Christian has ever done in their entire lives. You probably understand the Bible way more than they ever could, and they're the ones spewing the regurgitated slop that they've learned.
For me their example just reinforces the idea that the attitudes and dogma of modern Christian Fundamentalism is based on the oppressive culture of their church, and has little to do with the Bible itself. I myself only became a regular churchgoer as an adult, in a 'progressive' (much more New Testament based) Christian church. it's amazing to me how many people who did grow up in other churches have religious trauma imposed on them by church leaders who wielded their authority as a weapon.
You're probably right, but harnessing education and true intellectual thought would have made them hard for their parents and church to control. That's the point of evangelicalism - control.
I’m happy with my beliefs as a Christian that having the husband isn’t so important but optional like enjoy your single life you DONT have to get married if you don’t want to.
I have a very christian grandmother, and when I was growing up I would draw a lot. She told me it was gods gift, and to honor god i should hone and pursue my natural talent. I am not particularly religious and she never pushed it on me, but that made sense to me. Now I am extremely connected to a deep artistic practice. That practice fills me with calm and wholeness, and i am able to show up in my life feeling fulfilled and happy and able to help and love the people around me. Bethany turning away from basketball, something that brought her joy and that she was naturally good at, in order to conform to the churches patriarchal cookie cutter ideal of what a woman should be, feels very tragic to me. That wasn't gods plan for her at all. That was a lie! They are terribly, morbidly brainwashed. This is awful.
Very well said! I am not a Christian but I can get behind the idea of honing natural talents. If everyone did that, the world would be a better, less bitter place.
@@longlongtran But what about Kristen being infertile? What does that say about god? Doesn't that mean it's god's will that she not have kids? Or maybe god thinks she wouldn't be a good mom, so she wasn't allowed to have kids? Christians are so quick to give god credit for everything good that happens in their lives but when bad things happen, god had nothing to do with it. They can't have it both ways but they really, REALLY want to.
IKR?! If you believe in god , why would you not believe that god gave you the gift of basketball. Same with vaccines- would vaccines not be a gift from god because he made the scientists? I dunno none of it makes sense.
Bethy turning down all of her scholarships makes me so sad. Being good enough to get a scholarship is really hard and is a big deal. Her parents robbed her of what would likely have been an enriching experience and something that would have given Bethy confidence in herself and her achievements. For shame Heidi Baird!
@@pauladouglas9891 School, especially schools away from the hometown, is dangerous to this kind of person because it bursts the carefully constructed bubble of social engineering they need to maintain so they don't start having independent thought. Keeping her from going to school kept her from drifting away.
but weren't they homeschooled? I'm Australian, so I'm new to this; we just go to school here, but how do you be homeschooled, and also go to high school and get offerings of tier 1 scholarships. Please explain.
I wish these girls were as obsessed with poverty and charity as they are with sex and purity. Imagine the good they could actually do with their platform if they focused on those things! It's so warped- Jesus pretty much never talked about sex, but he certainly talked about poverty and charity. With GD, it's all very "me, me, me."
That's all of Christianity. I'm overselling, I'm sure... there just HAVE to be good Christians out there, who have actually read the Bible and live by it, but the only ones I ever see--be it local, or on tv, or in exposés like this one--are greedy, predatory heretics.
Imagine you kiss your spouse for the first time and realize there’s no spark … no chemistry… and you just assume that’s normal because you don’t know any better. Explains why Christians have such a high rate of divorce
@@LexaJ828 If that's something THEY had decided for themselves, that's completely alright. No one should feel like they have to conform to ANYTHING at all. Be it sex before marriage or waiting until marriage for it. The key is to make sure that no one is being forced into any specific idea.
The fact that Bethany insists on living "counter-culturally" but doesn't have an issue about broadcasting her wedding, her intimacy troubles, her marriage troubles, her child on the internet, a hub of culture, sure is something.
Science based sex ed is so important. I grew up with it. It isn't watching porn or being instructed on how to have sex, but rather is teaching reproductive anatomy and health, the proper use of contraceptives, how STIs are spread and their risks, safe sex practices etc. Was it awkward? Holy hell, yes. Am I glad it was required curriculum? You bet your sweet Jesus, I am
the purity balls specifically freak me tf out. i don’t get the fathers putting their virgin daughters on display like that…its so strange. Like celebrating their virginity? WEIRD.
@@mekaylaroblesright?? why, as a dad, are you so concerned with the status of your daughter's v4gina. please, get a different hobby. unless she's being unsafe, please don't have so many opinions about your daughter's sex life???
@@mekaylarobles Yeah, especially at those purity balls where they have to take an OATH OF PURITY and are told to consider God as their husband and their dad as their boyfriend (seriously)
@@pies-of-pain2877 Oath of Purity sounds like it could be a Dungeons and Dragons paladin oath. Unfortunately, reality is disappointing. (Now I just wanna get these girls some armour and swords and let them go ham at a ren faire)
the visceral rage i felt upon them trying to put their christian ideals on marylin monroe, whose choice to convert to judaism has been ignored so much so that she wasn't even buried how she wanted to be!! my god. leave the poor woman alone
I was hoping to find a comment like this be ause yeah. She committed suicide because of all of the abuse the men in the film industry put her through, and was a proud Jewish woman, and these sisters just completely steamrolled over all of that information to suit their agenda. Despicable.
Division I basketball scholarships?? Dude, you have to be REALLY good for that. If Bethany ever breaks out of the cult, she's going to feel so much grief over the future her parents forced her to give up. Truly horrific to do that to your child.
Exactly. I may not be American, but even I know that Division 1 scholarships in any sport are pretty huge. Never expected anything would be able to make me feel sorry for Bethany of all people. No one should have their future and chances taken away like that.
@@roninjoey she could be, but i honestly think she's telling the truth. every single hardcore christian girl i've met is incredibly hardworking, usually to please their parents or be an upstanding citizen. she was likely a really good basketball player, and combined with her height, i can believe that she got an offer
as a Ukrainian, I’m especially bothered by the erasure of the boys’ names due to how commonly our culture and our existence gets erased. the boys are also clearly not toddlers, I can’t imagine having your name changed at like 8 all of a sudden while you’re already going through a shock of a new family, a new country and learning a different language
In another universe we don't have girl defined because Bethany went on to be a professional basketball player. If she's telling the truth, it's insane she was offered multiple full ride scholarships to D1 schools and was forced to reject them.
First hand account of their parents control and greed: My family attended the same church as the Bairds back in the early 2000s. I told my mom that Kristen had married Zack Clark, who's family also attended the same church. My mom said “oh that makes sense” because both of those families refused to be friends with the poorer members of the church. Even instructing their kids not to play with us. They wanted their children only to interact with the affluent families in ordered to be paired for beneficial marriages in the future. I was too young to remember this and she said she tried to shelter me as best she could from their exclusion, but a little insight to how their parents greed and control has been there from the start.
That doesn't sound very Godly to me. It sounds greedy and classist and goes against everything the real Jesus stood for. I need them to be honest about who and what they're really worshipping and keep genuine people out of their hellhole of a family and life.
Reading that makes their ignorance make even clearer sense. They’ve spoken out of pocket about so many issues and subjects and had to walk their statements back and make apologies simply out of their complete ignorance of the nuance of reality and the vast spectrum of the human experience. I’m sorry you had to be on the receiving end of such cruel classist behavior.
im adopted and my mom once said to me "We didn't adopted you because we love you, we adopted you because of God" , yeah I told her straight up "that was a fked up thing to say"
I was a foster kid and all of the families were like this , they adopt the babies but the older children are told they are too old .as a married woman I was told this about my husband and children too . Love is a commitment and not a feeling, you love your husband because you’re commanded to by Christ . Adoption and parenting is about raising and winning souls for Christ. I’m in therapy working on this but believing you are unworthy of love by everyone and also being told actually feeling love for anyone other than Christ has ruined my relationships and life
@@lisagilbert8497 @13Rec13 I hope you both find the strength and peace you deserve. That's a horrific thing to think and even worse to say to a child, adopted or not. I'm so sorry.
I've been consuming a lot of Anti-MLM content lately, and the language Bethy uses to sell her course-creating course is nearly identical to the language used to suck people into scams.
As a psych student it is actually infuriating to me that a woman like Heidi takes as much as a therapist for one hour of „coaching“ but her only qualifications are that she’s old and has read the bible
@@ErinThePsychicWitchAgreed. I’ve received trauma coaching from someone who was very passionate and dedicated…I’d even say she ranked up there with my actual trauma therapist. The main difference was that the latter was specialized in the disorder I had, so obviously that was vital in one regard. Coaching can be great, I’ve experienced it firsthand. That was what started really propelling me into having more peace in my life. But also through seeing my coach spend years navigating the coaching landscape, I know there’s a ton of grift and not much to regulate it. Of course, you have to advocate strongly for yourself in medical as well, the only real difference in my experience is that there are more regulatory agencies to bang your head into if you run into unethical practice.
@@wildersystem we need the regulation. It’s essential. If you’re getting paid for something related to helping people you absolutely must be trained in it. I’m also trained in psychic work - 7 years! To be able to give readings. Spirituality is even more insane and in need of a regulating body.
It’s so wild how they say society is obsessed with sex and relationships. Yet, that’s all THEY seem to be able to talk about. Who’s really obsessed with sex here?? Great video, as usual!!
A good childhood friend of mine is a fundamentalist catholic, and yes, they are groomed into seeing sexual behaviour in the most benign things, ta point where it’s almost indistinguishable from a mental illness
Yeah, it's basically a fixation for that whole group of fundies. The whole world is about sex in their minds, meanwhile the rest of the world thinks about all kinds of things, and they think about sex the whole time.
@@DoritoBot9000Yes, a lot of fundies are so repressed that they don’t know how express their feelings in a healthy way, so they become paranoid & start to see sex in everything. It’s projection.
Exactly. When people confidently make broad sweeping statements about people in general, I swear to god it's always projection. Specifically the combination of confidence and a complete lack of any real nuance.
I was raised in a very conservative Christian household. A lot of this is reminding me of the upbringing. The hypocracy always floors me. I am a single mom of 2, divorced and a recovering addict with 9+ years clean and sober. My “Christian “ parents disowned me because I didn’t go into rehab when they wanted me to. That was almost 10 years ago. The irony? My mother is an alcoholic and I’m clean….. go figure 🤷♀️ I love Trixie!
Eeeyyyy, congrats on the sobriety! I know I'm a stranger, but I'm so proud and happy for you! I'm clean myself, not from drinking, rather from self harm. Let's continue being clean.
I can summarize Bethany's thought process pretty easily: "Marriage, motherhood, domestic servitude and being a financial dependent didn't make me happy and fulfilled like everyone told me it would, so I'm gonna become a snake oil salesman to make up for it."
My mom is a very religious woman and I remember one thing she said "Christan women who are way too involved into other people's business usually are the most greedy and shameless ones".
Their friend, who did know where the clitoris is, apparently never thought about sketching something real quick, but instead took the opportunity when the mom (wife of "therapist") was changing their baby to point out the location on their baby. Then even worse, the couple decided this is fine to share on the internet! Where this daughter could come across it at any point or be connected to the story
not to mention that the level of control their parents had over their lives as women is perfectly aligned with nazis idea of marriage. In germany and austria women were only 'allowed' three k - Kinder (children), kuche (kitchen), kirche (church)
Michael is so brave for sharing his story and I hope he feels the support of the internet. He deserves so much validation and love that his family never gave him. We see you, Michael, we hear you. ❤️
My dad joined a church like this. Extreme purity culture, judging others who don't live "perfect godly lives," the whole shebang. I am so grateful I was an adult when he joined so I was able to tell him exactly where to shove his "soul saving" rhetoric. We're no contact now because he could not stop turning every conversation into an attempt to convert me. His church has him 100% convinced that if he doesn't save my soul, he will be condemned to hell too by association. Its so sad how scared he is.
My grandmother isn't even apart of a radical church and she acted like this when I told her I wasn't a Christian. She would say things like: I can't believe my granddaughter is going to hell!" Or: "I could end up going to hell because I couldn't keep you a Christian." Our relationship was severely damaged because of this.
Shiiit Catholicism pulls that crap. My grandparents are still upsetti spaghetti I'm an atheist and made their daughter an atheist because now, since SHE left the church, they can't go to heaven. Sounds like their god is just kind of a MLM asshole but that's just my take lmaoo Also just another "fun" catholic fact, all unbaptized babies, even if the parents planned to baptize but the child died before they could, go in limbo to suspend in nothingness forever. Even miscarriages. If youre a "good catholic" youd never see those babies/fetuses, there would be no "reunification in heaven" cause theyre not allowed in. Just a real party time in this religion.
As a pre-licensed mental health professional, I am in the midst of hours and hours of course work, internships, and supervision. Seeing these people giving out all of these courses about life coaching, mentoring, and nutrition makes me so sad. I hope they have not done major damage and that they stop this lunacy immediately.
Same. I’m an LCSW and it takes SO much time and training as you know. I’ve practiced like 5,000+ hours at this point. These women create courses and coaching content with 0 real training and experience. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
@@annawallace3383she got 5 offers from D1 colleges. I’m not American but I believe that’s the highest level from what I learned. If I’m right, she could have played in the WNBA depending on her performance. WNBA doesn’t make as much as the NBA but she still would have made a lot more money than in Girl Defined and she wouldn’t be profiting from… a religious “nonprofit” organization.
The way Bethany laughs when she's talking about how good she was at basketball is soooo heartbreaking. You can see she still misses it and is not over it after all this time, probably bc the "option" she went for instead of basketball was marriage and her marriage is unfulfilling to say the least.
As a former athlete, it's double sad bc there are a TON of all female &/or 😂Christian universities w excellent athletic programs that she cld have attended. Also, there's not 1 single video of her playing, at home, a park, a church gymnasium... nowhere! Nor has she shown ANY college offer letters. Which makes it TRIPLE SAD to actually be good, & have zero stats, proof, or receipts to back it up, then do NOTHING w that "gift." Kinda hard to believe, but who am i?
@@lauriepenner350 they probably think that God gives those skills as "tests" to see if you will choose the world or Him when having the chance. I'm 100% not kidding or being sarcastic.
The whole "your first time will hurt" idea is so infuriating. If you take the time to get ready, it shouldn't hurt. But its so ingrained it will hurt that we anticipate it which makes us tense up which is the opposite of what needs to happen. Its this vicious cycle that continues to perpetuate pain during sex when it doesn't have to be this way.
I had been so anxious about it I was 23 before it happened. And it was such a non-issue that in my relief I actually started laughing during it. XD He knew *why*, so he wasn't offended, but it was truly hilarious how I'd built up such fear over absolutely nothing. He wasn't a great boyfriend (various issues, we weren't a good match), but 10/10 Would Recommend to Virgins. Five stars. XD Protip: be on top for your first time!! You have so much more control over the angle and the depth and really just everything - it all goes at *your* pace, which I feel is critical for a good first time.
It also pisses me off bc they hate masturbation so like... what are women supposed to do?? They cant prep themselves mentally with that and they cant have sex with other people so....?? Like i get it the hymen is a thing so why not do whatever you need to do privately and prepare yourself privately. For people preeching run to the finish line of marriage they sure hate the practice runs for some reason
Yea for real! sex ed in schools can be so hit or miss, I remember being taught by a man and we spent like 1 day learning abt female anatomy. I was also told that "porn is bad because it gives you unrealistic expectations of sex" which to this day I don't understand. porn is bad for completely different reasons. And they never told us what our expectations should be? This was all public school btw
I thought that. And before the second one got married I felt the other was almost shaming and bullying her for it. In their older videos the one sat on the right would look with such a face on when her sister would talk
Sometimes one would go through her phone when the other was talking. They clearly dislike each other, which is the only relatable point: I can't stand either of them myself.
What if gods plan was originally for Bethany to have a basketball scholarship? I’m Christian & having a child so gifted in a sport they genuinely enjoy would be seen as a BLESSING! Their parents do not want the best or gods blessings for their own children that’s very sad.
God gives people talents for a reason and Bethany turning her back on it is ironically more like turning away from God’s design than not being a “perfect godly wife”
That's actually incorrect, they do genuinely want what's best for their children. It's the one thing that's hard to understand with people like this. They really think they are doing good for them and the world. That's why they are so adamant about sharing, they really think it's what's best and want it for you too. They don't realize it's actually really bad and is the very reason their lives suck so much.
@@MrDoenyon I think it's a bit of both. I see in lots of Christian circles a mentality that *suffering* is what's best. If you want or like literally anything that's unrelated to your faith, that's temptation and needs to be taken away. Unhappiness is the norm for them in that way.
Religious extremist nonsense aside, their diatribe about marilyn Monroe was nauseating. It’s not even certain she took her own life, it’s just as likely it was an accidental OD. That’s not difficult to do with barbiturates. And the narrative that “fame and beauty just wasn’t enough for her blah blah blah” is gross…
I could be remembering incorrectly, but I think she died from a barbiturate OD, not opiates and alcohol. Barbiturates aren’t very common anymore like they were in Marilyn’s time. Now, I think they’re only used in some cases for migraines and seizures. But you’re very right about mixing opiates and alcohol those are very dangerous together, they’re both respiratory depressants.
@@Lja77613I think it’s more their controlling parents who are buying it for them. I don’t think most teenage girls would look at that and think it’s for them.
something that really grinds my gears about this is that they present themselves as “experts” on topics like mental health and nutrition, but also degrade women who go through the steps to become actual professionals in the field
I'm pretty sure Marilyn Monroe was being physically abused by like, every man in her life and people who knew about it just covered it up. Literally movie makeup artists covered her bruises so they didn't show on camera. It's wild to use her as an example of a beautiful woman who couldn't find happiness in her success so she committed unaliving at a young age.
Plus the notes of "her makeup-covered face and dyed blonde hair" coming from these women who are always clearly wearing makeup and dyeing their hair blonde, like bffr
I’m a deconstructed Christian. I was EXACTLY like them and it makes my skin crawl. Thank you so much for talking about how toxic this way of thinking is.
@@paradiserestored6179christians who were often raised in religion but take a step back and ask questions and use logic to figure out what they believe and what is the trash that religion tells you to believe.
@@paradiserestored6179 somebody that has been indoctrinated since birth by a form of religion or cult. shedding a believe that has been thought to you for so long, Requires you to deconstruct your entire moral and believe system. And reconstruct your thought pattern, decision making and morals with relying on your on believes. It's really hard to do for most people that start to have doubt and lose "faith". In my opinion religion should not be forced on children before at least the age of 12. There is no proof of God or anything the bible teaches.
It's actually a big thing in China. The SAHDaughter or even Son does stuff like clean the house, do grocery shopping, make meals, take pets to the park or to vet appointments, etc. Some of them will be doing it while doing online college. Only difference is that those kids actually get paid for the work they do.
as a ukrainian-american person, born to ukrainian immigrant parents in the us, and learning that kristin stripped them of their ukrainian names is infuriating, she just stripped them of their culture, and heritage, just because its "different". ive struggled in school with people not knowing how to pronounce my name and just making up nicknames, or pronouncing it wrong even after being corrected just because they didn't want to say my name, even now, i have to go by my first initial everywhere i work bc my managers and coworkers cant pronounce my name and even stated that "they werent going to try". it got to the point where i hated my name when i was younger and would go by my middle name which sounds more american when i was younger, and looking forward to being old enough to change my name, now. i'm proud of my name and last name and my heritage, hopefully kristin will keep the boys in touch with their culture and not shelter them from it, and at least help them continue using, learning and interacting with other ukrainians in the ukrainian language so they dont lose it. tldr: i grew up and first gen immigrant to ukrainian parents speaking ukrainian as a first language and had trouble accepting my culture when i was younger but now im proud of it
This exactly. I also heard that her and her husband couldn’t even be bothered to learn any Ukrainian. Their boys were old enough to have grown up speaking it and to have that also erased is just disgusting. If I ever adopted children from a different culture I would most definitely keep their names and do my best to immerse them in the culture they were born in so they can keep that connection. It’s like she just wanted to scrub away their past life as if it didn’t matter.
I'm European too, and baffled by how little American seem to give equal dignity to other cultures when I grew up with that being not only normal, but present in my everyday life. I live in Italy and had lots of Romanian, Albanian, Russian etc. classmates, and went to art school with a lot of them. Xenophobia was still present, but at least it was "shameful", but the utter dismissing of a culture being so present that you deny someone's name, their identity, would tell me about their people enough to know some parts of their worldview. Hope you can live more peacefully now.
Just FYI, don’t edit your comment next time cus the like from the uploader will be removed. Also, I get that. I feel like it’s something a lot of first gen immigrant kids deal with. It didn’t help how racist and how “you just assimilate” the culture was back then.
@@Alyse_bell that’s insanity, i’m so glad ukrainian was my first language, and thankful to my parents for it. even though ESL was hard and i was told to “speak english, you’re in america” by the ESL teacher, it was all worth it. i encounter a lot of slavic first generation immigrants who don’t know they’re native tongue and deeply regret not learning it when they were younger because either their parents didn’t teach them to spare them from xenophobia or something else of the sort. truly i am blessed to have been born into my family.
Thats crazy to hear (well, read), as a Polish immigrant in UK, because here i know 3rd generation immigrants who speak regular Polish without any accents and are still in touch with Polish culture (by that i mean they still watch Polish TV, Polish youtube, listen to Polish music etc) and besides being way more liberal than most people in Poland they could go back and noone would notice theyre any different. But it does make sense when i consider that if i feel like going to my hometown (as im more of a straight outta boat type immigrant lmao migrated in my 20s), i can book a flight week in advance for like 20-30 quid (it would cost me the same or more to get a train from Hampshire to London, like 2h ride). Not to mention how densely populated UK is, and how most Poles live in specific areas and neighbourhoods to a point that when i first came to Britain for summer work i lived in a sharehouse with Poles only, commuted to work with Poles only, and at work i was around Poles only, shopping in a Polish store etc. With occasional Slovakian, Czech or Ukrainian person sticking with us as they didnt speak much English usually and its much easier to communicate with us, ending up learning Polish fluently. To a point it became a meme among Slovakians that when they come back from UK their friends ask them to say something in English, to which they respond with something like "Weź mi skręć szluga bo palić mi się chce jak psu ruchać". Hard to integrate into English society or forget that youre Polish in that environment LMAO
I don’t know them at all, but as a person who was religiously (and etc) abused by evangelical Christian parents, I’m gonna say it’s probably exactly the amount of Nazi apologetics that I imagine.
@@tiffanysjustcoloringthat’s fair, and yet doesn’t make it any less bizarre that they don’t even try to distance themselves from the fact that they had a nazi ancestor
IKR? I don't know much of their channel, but this was enough for me to gauge what they are about: while drag queens and other queer people are under political and violent attack across the country, they made content attacking drag queens specifically. They're bullies, pure and simple. (Haven't watched this video yet, btw. That's my starting point based solely on what I witnessed them saying on their channel.)
@@Cat_Woods On 6 May 1933, the Institute of Sexology, an academic foundation devoted to sexological research and the advocacy of homosexual rights, was broken into and occupied by Nazi-supporting youth. Several days later the entire contents of the library were removed and burned.
Definitely a weird part about Christian fundamentalism. I once saw old footage of Jimmy Swaggart preaching about how Christians shouldn't chase after self-esteem because it's all worldly and separate from God or whatever. Definitely seems like a way to manipulate folks into seeking validation from church authority figures rather than cultivating it themselves.
It's amazing that Bethany can go through all of this and not realize that her strategy didn't work. She ended up in a bad marriage _because_ of purity culture. At this point, her only option is to frame it as normal, unavoidable struggles that everyone should expect from a relationship and try to convince herself that things would be even worse if she hadn't stayed pure.
I remember being embarrassed in middle school and for the first and last time in my life purposefully getting a slightly worse grade in a class because I was embarrassed to get a high grade in health class. My friend was unashamed and got a 100% and when I asked about it, my friend said “my mom didn’t know anything at all on her wedding night and had no idea what my biological father was doing. She had no idea what to do once she was pregnant with me especially once she moved to this country and didn’t have a support network. I’m learning what I can now because she didn’t get a chance.” I felt so awful for dismissing one of the most important parts of my education.
That's very relatable for many who have parents that give up everything for them; I was the same way. I felt it was literally the only thing I had left in my life I even had control over. I did have a parent who moved countries tho, I just lost my parent to MS. It's like a huge guilt and fear of inadequacy which gets placed on you after these types of life events. Def not fun, but I am an excellent student now. I hope she, and you, are doing great!
My mom jumped into this whole subculture when I was 13 after my normal upbringing beforehand. It was completely a tool for control. We were sheltered excessively and only put around people of the same mindset and were brainwashed. Luckily, my dad (who was divorced from my mom) talked me into going to college after my mom couldn’t answer my very basic questions about her future plans for me. “What if I get married and am unable to have kids for many years? What am I supposed to do at home without kids or education to get a job?” Her shrugged shoulders and lame answer, “take up a hobby.” was not satisfying. So, I left for school and then to China, met my husband and have been raising my family abroad for the past 15 years as far as I can possibly be from my family or origin.
i’m not from the states so i had no idea what a division 1 university was, so i googled it and wow… i’m truly sad for her. full scholarship to several of the top universities in the country and giving it up because your parents want you to be a housewife? it doesn’t even look like it was what she wanted, she looked so happy talking about basketball, she truly loved it. i feel so bad that she got brainwashed like that.
Originally women only went to college to get their MRS.... In other words to find a husband. Many cultures know that education is power and they want to keep women under their thumbs. One way to do that is to prevent their education and push them into marriage / motherhood.
1:18:18 IM SORRY?!?!?! im married and i have never imagined my husband as another man during sex EVER 😭😭 thats literally a HUGE sign of a very unhappy marriage and relationship (unless its for roleplay purposes or something). Thats insane that she said that like its super normal for everyone.
Forgot to comment on that but isn't that crazy?!? I'm sure they're the first ones to judge the living shit out of cheaters but somehow getting off of other men in your mind is godly. Make it make sense. Glad I'm not having to deal with that, not even when I was single and having hookups.
Right? I realized how serious a long term crush (now relationship lmao) was that I couldn’t even force myself to think about other people when I was trying to get over it, I would just think about them again 😅😂 it’s sad they didn’t even start having relations until the marriage and are already tired of each other
I thought that was just me! I’m single rn, but I’ve never thought about someone else during intimate time with my ex-partners. Not saying it’s wrong for it to happen every once in a while, but to have it happen every or most of the time is a HUGE red flag…
The irony of it all 🤣🤦🏼♀️ It went from “no wonder you’re so sad and don’t know what to do with your life, you’re single” to “why my marriage is so hard, why did I have kids” 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ This is a prime example of why you chose your own path and don’t let others influence what you should do with your life. What a ridiculous group of people.
Notice how Bethany describes herself as a "stay at home mom" when she's actually a "work from home mom". It's like a workaround for getting to say she's "stay at home mom", which implies she doesn't work, while getting to have a career anyway.
Concealing all the work she does, career-wise and home making, to her audience makes that a pretty shitty and dishonest career, considering that she promotes a stay at home lifestyle not every family can pull off. Bc most either have to work (from home) or have a wealthy family or partner have their back. The fact that financial independence is crucial to be an active party in this scenario as a "stay at home" cannot be stressed enough. So it should be communicated.
@@florian8599Taking care of the household is absolutely work, I agree, but you can see from her posts that she isn’t very good at it. Unclear if she tries to keep house and gets distracted (as I certainly do), or if she doesn’t prioritize cleanliness. She leaves curdling hot chocolate mugs on her bedside.
They say we're shoving our "lifestyle" down their throats and that we're grooming children While they post every aspect of their sex lives on every form of social media and talk about using a human child as an anatomy doll
Because when we sin it harms the world we live in, it is the reason the world is the way it is. We all know the world is screwed up and that is because of man.
I honestly have completely forgotten about these two. I'm honestly not even surprised this was the outcome. Tends to happen to those who are the loudest with their religion.
@@cruelworldhappymindI had a feeling they were scammers from the beginning. A lot of Christians use their religion to scam and get attention. Their downfall doesn't surprise me.
It's almost like they're trying to compensate because they know they don't actually follow their religion and they don't want people pointing that out so they can act all high and mighty
A case of the "girl" doth protest too much. People who have to shout about how they have the answer and know what you should do - isn't that the definition of judgemental?
‘Having kids didn’t fix me’ is honestly an insanely brave and IMPORTANT thing to say to an audience like theirs, I’m a little surprised at the backlash? Yes it actually IS good for children to learn that having kids doesn’t automatically make their mothers happy. It’s absolutely crucial for kids emotional health that they understand ‘mom is unhappy’ doesn’t mean ‘mom doesn’t love me’ And those kids will grow up someday! Knowing that parenthood isn’t a magic bullet will protect them from making the same mistake she did
Like one of comments of original post said, telling that "motherhood/fatherhood/parenthood is dissapointing" or "children are dissapointing" hurts children. If anyone has problems with their parenthood, friends or therapy is right place, not social media where children can find parents' posts and be scarred for life...
The comment that went "if my mom said that blabla" seemed so selfish to me like please get over yourself ! Yes your and my and maybe even most of our moms struggled with motherhood, we as children probably weren't God's gift on earth and if you take it personally when your mom tells you abt her struggles then sorry but you're childish Ofc it's not something you should hear as a child ever !! However I doubt these kids have access to her instagram so it's not like she's telling them these things (hopefully)
There is a two-pronged issue here. First is that she is admitting that everything she had been saying about waiting until marriage and having kids is a lie, which would cause some upset with the audience that they fostered. It's not unlike iilluminaughtii in that sense. The second is that expecting children will fix your problems by behaving as you want them to puts an undue burden on the children. Even if she doesn't tell the child directly, the majority of children are not stupid. If they perceive something is wrong and are not told about it, they will likely blame themselves. Between this and the fact that we know Kristin is effectively erasing their cultural roots to raise them as all-American children, I would not be surprised if we hear that they're in therapy for low self-esteem or even dissociation in the future.
@@SiripinkHeart then why you don’t get help or give her to adoption? Children tend to be socially smart enough to realize that something is wrong but not what is wrong, and narcissistic enough to think that it's their fault that something is wrong...
As someone who’s great grandpa was torn apart from his family at just 16 and was sent to work in the factories in Germany during the war. It’s so disrespectful of them to go ‘and learn what they went through’. Their great grandpa went through nothing. He was one of the people that hurt so many others. My 20 year old great grandpa came back from the war extremely underweight and went back to the farm where he grew up that got completely destroyed. He only spoke about it to my grandma. No one else. There is one photo of him after he returned and he looks insanely traumatized, which he was.
I agree that that man went through nothing but at the same time, do Americans really think that all German/Austrian (grand) great parents were shunned? Pretty much all families here who are not immigrants have Nazi history and we don't have a huge group of elderly people just completely severed from society. Most of the time those people would simply refuse to talk about war and their own contribution to it so their descents have not much of a chance than to just move on with life and not place too much thought into it. It was extremely weird and tone deaf to post the things that have been posted but honestly you can't really judge this from an outsider's perspective.
People who were in the military under the Nazi regime had little choice. It's unfair to classify all of these people as evil who should be shunned and condemned because they LIVED in a country with an evil dictator. Were there evil Nazis? Absolutely. Was everyone doing something evil? No. And you shouldn't have to pretend your family didn't exist and shouldn't be loved or spoken of because things that a lot of them didn't want to do.
I'll just chime in with others and say that there was not much of an option about your children being in the Hitler Youth, or you serving in the military. Even becoming a member of the party was not really option for many people. While Germany does bear the weight of what happened, there was a ton of brainwashing, plus insane coercion happening at a national level. My family is German, and our history is not all sunshine and rainbows. But in addition to having family that served in the German military during WWII, we also have family that was sent to a camp because she was caught listening to the BBC. Toeing the line could be a life or death thing for the German people. They *did* have the luxury of not being the target of Hitler's genocide, but getting in the way was extremely dangerous to you and your family.
Just because they "went through" something different than yours doesn't make it wrong. What's wrong is judging someone who didn't do anything to you except want to learn their history.
I gotta say, I eally like these 1-2 hour deep dives into topics like this, as well as the casual tone you take. It really feels like we're just having a conversation and you're teaching me about this subject I've not heard much of. Please keep doing content in this style!
She has said her sex courses are for adults. But we have to remember in Fundamentalist Christianity, girls are expected to be married or thinking of marriage as young as 15 years old
And? Look I hate girl defined, but teenagers are the perfect audience for sexual education. She’s just not the person who should be teaching it. Or anything, for that matter.
Them talking about Marilyn Monroe seriously made me angry. She didn't unalive herself because everything she had wasnt enough. If she *did* do it, it was more likely due to depression because (and please correct me if I'm wrong) she never wanted to be a sex symbol in the first place
She was also allegedly s*xually abused by her foster parent when she was a child. She had a screwed up childhood and dealt with that trauma all her life. My guess is that Even a small normal life, with a husband and children wouldn’t have made her happy.
@@JackieJaime90 I feel like a big part of what made her so unhappy is she got out of that situation she was in as a child right into the predatory hands of men in Hollywood. She got out of poverty but was then sexualised and mistreated by those around her in adulthood as well. Her entire life was very tragic.
The fact that fundies stop their kids from being educated about sex, build up marital sex as the ultimate ideal, and let couples go into it without even knowing the basics like where the clitoris is or the meaning of consent… It’s truly cruel. I grew up in purity culture but I am so fortunate my mom didn’t “want to deal with” homeschooling us, bc I got sex ed in school. Didn’t have my first orgasm until my 20s, and I still deal with shame around sex, but I wasn’t quite as blindsided as some.
as a victim of homeschooling, I genuinely think it shouldn't be legal. it's basically neglect. No access to friends and social skills, no independence, no learning about anything outside what your parents think, extremely sheltered and isolated. It's debilitating for life. Homeschooling is cruel.
@@tetherballobsession No learning about anything outside your parents knowledge either no ? Cause aside from having some very very well educated and smart parents... And even then, you just can't beat the variety taught in schools.
@tetherballobsession Honestly, homeschooling is such an alien concept to me. Here in Germany (and other European countries), homeschooling is illegal. You're free to decide whether you send your child to a regular public school, a private school, or a Christian school. If you as a parent don't make sure that your kid goes to school, you'll end up paying very high fines. In drastic cases the police will show up. This is also the case if the kid tries to skip school.
I had a roommate that lived, breathed, and made everything these girl said a part of her life. She started getting unbearable and so two faced to her non- Christian friends, by making fun of them with her Christian friends. Literally every thing this girl followed has imploded in upon itself over the last few years. So glad she broke her lease and moved out because I was “ demonic in nature” that’s what she told me was my issue. Ummmmm ma’am I have mental health issues and PTSD.
I guess that's demonic, idk. You lil' devil! 😈 Some people like this would straight up believe you struggle with this 'cus you won't let god into your life to heal you, or that he would've protected you from the event in the first place. 🙄 You don't need that bullshit.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, but at the same time, if someone told me they thought I was demonic, I would absolutely lean into it and scare the living daylights out of them 😂😂 you could absolutely get revenge via pranks like leaving pentagrams everywhere and pretending to be possessed
It's usually the most (self proclaimed) "Christ like" among us that tend to be the most vile people. I said it once and I'll go to my grave saying it, but these people would absolutely crucify Jesus all over again if he actually did come back.
Christians have always cherry picked the parts of the Bible they want to blather about and ignore the parts that seem ludicrous or they just don't like.
Fun story. I went to visit the former “friend” who introduced me to Girl Defined. We were walking around her city when a gay couple passed us and she asked me… “do you have ‘those’ were you’re from?” I’m still astounded to this day.
I was about to reply with “You used to be friends with Jaclyn Glenn!?” until I read the rest and realized you’re actually telling me there’s people who actually unironically watch Girl Defined 🥴😶
@@somedragonbastardI can’t believe I forgot about that!!! 😂 Of course I realized MUCH later that I’m bi which she would DEFINITELY have disapproved of 🫢
I hate the "the one who designed you, gets to define you" line so much. My narcissistic asshole dad designed me. He broke down everything I was until I had no identity at all and remade me as who he wanted. It's taken years upon years of therapy to untangle the dissociation and delusions he left me with from who I really am and what makes me happy. While I see his impact in my daily interactions, he will never define me. And neither will any "god"
You’re the only comment I’ve seen talking about Michael, I felt so bad for what he had to endure with no support from his family. He is so strong to speak up and it’s actually helping people, unlike what his sisters are doing.
Dave sure seems like he’s deconstructing. I really hope he continues to pull at these strings, and that he finds a meaningful support system outside the church.
@@diana5281he did not go through conversion camp or conversion therapy. that was a rumor that continues to be perpetuated because people *want* to believe it
I think you’re on to something. Deconstructing can look different to different people. But it can help to think about what his faith truly means to him. For me it started as recognizing that the Jesus I saw in church wasn’t the Jesus I grew up being taught about. There is a page called The New Evangelicals that shows that deconstructing doesn’t mean removing of the faith. (But for me it did… lol)
As a German, this feels so weird to me. Like a lot of Germans, I did have relatives who fought in the war. None of them were members of the NSDAP ... it's one thing knowing what your great-grandparents or grandparents did or were part of, but it is a COMPLETELY different thing, sitting in front of their grave, smiling and honouring them. I never met my great-grandfather, it is said he died in a russian prison cell. I can't deny he (probably) took part in killing a lot of people. He was a soldier after all. How the f*ck can you sit there and talk about a grandfather who was a Nazi-Mayor of all things. I feel bad thinking about the horrible things my great-grandfather (probably) did and I felt so releaved when I learned my grandparents had been too young to actively participate in the war. (all of them were school kids, younger than 12 during the war)
Because Germans as a nation is actively fighting that history won't repeat itself (I know, not all of them, but mostly). For example, the Panthera thing with Rock am Ring - there're no excuses, that "I didn't mean wrong", a lot of people thought that banning them was to much, but it wasn't. Germans I knew are very mature about that their grandparents or great grandparents could be nazi. But they aren't celebrating that, like Bethany. They're adressing the issue, talking loud about it, not hiding behind shame, but also not praising that. And I say it as a Polish. The thing is, if you run abroad, you didn't have to learn how to deal with that like, for example, Germans collectively as a nation. The legend could rise, I can imagine something "Your grandpa was Nazi, but he loved God" or similar. Of course, always remember "You're not your parents/grandparents" thing, but just don't idolize nazis? She had time to think about posing that photo with gravestone for example?
I have never understood this. And I say this as somebody whose granparents lived in a country where the WW2 fights were going on. It's absolutely okay to take a photo smiling on your granparents grave. They are still your granparents. It's just so weird that nobody in Europe is going around saying to Germans their granparents were Nazis or whatever. I have no idea why you feel the need to do it yourself. You are responsible solely for your own actions, not for actions of your ancestors. Your ancestors also just followed the orders, and not following orders would mean sanctions. Don't be stupid, don't live your life in guilt for something somebody did when you weren't even born yet 🤦
@@ElysV135 Exactly. I live in Austria and most peoples great grandparents were nazis here. I bet most of these people complaining would also salute if a dangerous regime with loaded guns knocked on their door and asked what side they're on. They ignore the fact that many didn't have much of a choice.
@@ArsonisticElmobeing a solider is one thing. Climbing up the ranks and holding onto the ideology when its even the general gov at the time is something else
I was raised by a woman just like Heidi. I got out after realizing she never saw me as an individual....i was just an extension of her. At 32 i was divorced, sheltered and alone. She had groomed me since birth to serve my mother and only to be her puppet. I turned my back on it all. I'm now 42, married, happy and have a wonderful career. Ive been no contact for almost a decade and it was the best decision i ever made.
@@Akatsuki69387 maybe splitting hairs, but literally nothing about christmas is christian except the name. jesus was born in march. trees are pagan, santa is pagan, stockings are pagan.
@@grreeeeee Did we ever find solid evidence for the whole March bit? I thought that was just one of those "Reddit conspiracy" deals? Or maybe I'm thinking of another thing. Either way, the Christmas we celebrate now is far more pagan influenced than the "traditional" Christmas celebrated by the church back when the holiday first became a thing. Mostly because pagan traditions mesh really well with the consumerist culture we have in the world today. You can't exactly go out and buy thoughts and prayers. Edit: I mean...technically you can, but Martin Luther already pointed out the issues with that so...y'know....
Those that find it neccesary to shout loudest about their religion are usually the ones whom are anxious about it. it's narcissism in the classic sense.
I have to tell you, these deep dives you do are so well-researched, presented in such a clear, concise way, but you keep my attention from beginning and end and believe me, that’s pretty unheard of- I think my attention span is probably like four minutes usually. You have such a high degree of professionalism and I really admire, respect and thoroughly appreciate your content and I will continue being a dedicated viewer as long as you are a dedicated creator! ❤️ much love 😊 💜
I don't understand how they can call themselves a non-profit when they literally don't do anything for free. You have to pay for their courses, books, classes, etc. The point of a non-profit is usually to provide a free service of some kind. But instead, they're treating "donations" as their personal bank account, which I'm pretty sure is illegal.
Not-for-profit doesn’t mean you don’t make money (or even profit). Charities are a bit different but I’m not sure they would qualify as a charity. I’m on the board of several not-for-profit corporations and they all have different approaches to raising money and how much. The main difference is an NFP is more regulated as to how much profit they can have before they lose the NFP status and the benefits it brings.
When I first came out and told someone of my childhood sexual abuse (I was 28- abuse occurred starting at age 5), I started physically vomiting. It was like that for 3 years - every time I tried talking about it. I'm now 36, I received much healing over the years. I feel for Michael. My heart goes out to him. My abuse had zero to do with my parents or their actions (or lack thereof). In fact, when I told them it destroyed a piece of their soul - I literally could see part of them die and actually regretted telling them at first. I still wonder if it was the right thing, but it brought them so much understanding. I cannot imagine KNOWING that my parent(s) knew and did NOTHING. The thought of that makes my chest hurt!!
I didn't tell my mom things for so long because I knew how bad she would feel, I just never wanted to hurt her. I'm glad you have your story out now, as im sure so are you and your family, so the healing can really take hold. Much love from another survivor ♡
As a mother, I’ve asked my son periodically if he was currently or ever sexually abused by anyone… I’d 100% want to know. Would it hurt me? Yes, for allowing it to happen, his pain… but I’d still want to know so I could get him help and get the person in prison where they belong. I tried very hard to protect him (and teach him to protect himself and others), while still allowing him to make decisions and mistakes on his own. It’s a hard line to walk, and no parent is perfect. I hope y’all get the peace you deserve
So this is kind of off-topic but I was always confused by them bashing excess makeup while usually wearing the most noticeable and unflattering lipstick
Finally someone said it. I know everyone likes to say "you can critize their actions but you shouldn't make fun of their looks" etc but I genuinely don't give a fuck in some cases, their makeup looks like crap and they dress like a sears catalog from the 2000s
im of the unpopular opinion that if someone is provably morally bankrupt or terrible towards others then they've submitted themselves to be judged on all aspects including their appearance. i know it sounds bad but if this person is jurying others then a surface level hurt back is the least they deserve
@@sashkalembowitz203 honestly yeah i dont think people that do the same /have the same appearance will be that offended considering they defend eugenics and weird shit like that
I'm a long time follower of fundiesnark-type stories, and I've seen a LOT of content about girl defined. I just want to acknowledge the work this must have taken, bc there's a lot of info in here I'd never heard before. thank you so much!
For the Christian girlies, from a Christian: It's okay to want to be beautiful and have self-esteem. It's okay to want to have partners and want to love them and kiss them and so forth. Go at your pace, and remember that you are a daughter of The Almighty. And God does love his daughters. God has bigger plans for you than being someone's wife ❤ You are loved. You are held. You are a precious daughter of God. The church is toxic. You are still precious.
I'm not Christian but I grew up religious. God will still love you even if you want to kiss someone. He will still love you even if you are not what these girls say you need to be
From someone outside of the USA, who's only heard about the "almost-fanatically religious southern white person " stereotype, these clips look like a fever dream to me. I can't imagine living in a neighborhood with this ideology being a norm.
I understand. It is really bad, especially for school-age children. They are taking over from our Supreme Court to closing community libraries and more!
Bruh im originally from Poland, Subcarpathian voivodenship which is extremely religious, and thats for Polish standards (the most religious and far right country in Europe), and ive NEVER seen such judgmental and, well, crazy people in my life... and my aunt used to be a nun, quitting only because of health reasons. Catholicism for all its faults is not even close in nuttery to American churches. Like i never heard priests, nuns or religious people in general claiming evolution isnt real or that Earth is 3000 years old or whatever... not once. Only heard these theories when i got internet. for Catholics, scientific discoveries are just ways of "getting us closer to understanding God and his creations". I would have NEVER guessed its the exact opposite in America...
As a Bible-Belt dweller in the southern US for most of my life, I can say... it looks very "Stepford Wives" -esque, & feels just as inauthentic to experience it. I compare it to: secretly knowing your GPS has been leading you the wrong way for a while, but you're scared to RE-ROUTE on your own or ask someone for NEW directions, bc the WRONG WAY is all you know. & everyone around you is also wrong, but promising your destination is just up ahead.
As someone of Ukrainian heritage, Kristen adopting 2 boys from Ukraine and making them erase all ties to their culture makes my skin crawl. Ukraine is a beautiful country with its own story and traditions, and there are enough people in the world trying to destroy that right now. Putin has been trying to do that since the fall of the Soviet Union. Slava Ukraini 💙💛
Thanks for sharing this video. I'd actually never heard of Girl Defined before this. Now I'm intrigued. One thing that has always made me angry about the whole purity culture movement is its focus on the girls and young women, but not on boys or young men. If anything, they need it more than the women, as there's long been a double standard in the fundamental Christian groups. Women have to be the ones who stay at home and look after all the children and do all the housework, while training their daughters to do so as well, while the men get to go out and work outside the home and do what they want, despite a lot of those families saying otherwise. I've known a number of families with that kind of mindset, and a lot of them are the same. The boys get to go out and do all kinds of things - although not higher education, of course - while the girls have to stay home. It's such a shame that the children in these families are being raised with such a narrow point of view without being able to meet others who see things differently than them. I've been a Christian since I was a very little girl, but I was always raised to accept anyone and everyone just as they are without prejudice. I was given a lot of opportunities and went to public school. I've turned out a lot less messed up than a lot of people raised in these super strict families, despite being exposed to things of the world. I'm very happy with the upbringing I had. I'm also single never married, and I'm super content and happy, something the Girl Defined movement and its kind would have you think isn't possible. My cat Dublin and I say hi to Boofy. :)
yeah, I'm 34 but my husband and I have been together on and off for 19 years now and I've had people ask relationship advice and I'm like oh hell no I'm the last person to give that kind of advice to😅
@@cheeling794 But that's really good though because you've been through a lot of ups and downs. Humans love stories and when people ask for advice, it's because they see someone who's been through some life experiences they haven't and they want to know how those challenges were handled, even if it went badly, because that will give them insight and potential tools to call upon if they end up in similar situations.
Bethany and her husband made a video reviewing the barbie movie which was a very interesting watch. I expected him to be way more critical or radical in his opinion on this movie like a lot of conservatives and Christians where online. But he suprised me how openly and into what depth he analyzed it and also how untoxic his masculinity was about the concept of the movie. Which was a stark contrast to Bethany who also sometimes became very defensive but also mad at him? It was one of these videos where I would have loved to see what their conversation behind closed door was because if thats what they are willingly post and showing on camera oh boy 😂 I kinda feel sad for him alot of times Bethany just shut down any interesting topic he brought up.
@@trishmarie5462 its on the Girl Defined youtube channel and the title is "Does my Husband like the Man-Bashing Barbie Movie?" its over 40 Minutes I watched it in 2x speed 😂
@@_greymalkin_7377 I noticed how they talk about their marriage alot of times seems more like talking about a shared business. Idk if thats just how some marriages are I am not in one and dont have the desire to but it all sems so loveless? more a thing they are doing or have to do than something that comes out of their love for each other?
As a person with polish Ukrainian heritage, her saying that the two boys were adamant and excited about getting new American names…just rubs me the wrong way on SO many levels. Just admit that their Slavic names were probably hard for you to learn how to properly pronounce, and that you want the appearance of an all American white family while sacrificing those boys’ identities. Also there’s a chance that the boys might have been brought up orthodox, so she ABSOLUTELY will indoctrinate them into her own Christian beliefs and teach them that their belief is wrong. I feel so sorry for them man, I grew up in an environment with really negative stereotypes about Slavs, and I just know that them erasing the boys’ heritage will make them internalise these harmful falsehoods, because they’re old enough to actively feel it happening Edit: Her saying that they were oh so excited also perpetuates this idea that America is soooo much better than their homeland, and that these boys should feel privileged to be Americans now because obviously they are now in the one country everyone else idealises Like…this America centric mindset is soooo icky and xenophobic
yeah i really have an issue with all these uber christian white wasp-y families adopting children from foreign countries always just feels a bit icky, especially because they always ignore the kids' origin cultures. and they were already old enough where they'll remember and understand what's happening too, poor boys will need therapy one day to figure that mess out.
Well it was (and still is) built on a dream 🤷🏽♀️ and that’s exactly what it always will be: the American DREAM. Even most born and bred Americans can’t reach it. I think it’s time to value being an individual who can afford a house and bills first and foremost bc even that is getting impossible
I saw them in person once waiting for a restaurant and they looked so uncomfortable together. my dad thought he looked gay and he knew nothing about the online stuff 😭
@@bepbopbrooke right?! In that first vid where she introduced him I was like "Well, what could possibly go wrong?!" Apparently he's been through conversion therapy. Poor guy.
I don’t think we should assume anyone’s sexuality. He has said he isn’t gay and never went through conversion therapy and we should take him at his word.
That Christianity "pure" coaching almost broke meee! I was kidnapped and raped as a 20 year old virgin and afterwards i blamed myself. I thought "wow I'm no longer "pure", so there goes all my chances of getting married or anyone wanting me" . Tht mibdset is effing toxic. Not saying dnt wait to marriage, but the idea tht being "pure" is the only way to be in a relationship almost killed me literally.
Something I learned this year at a summer camp for spiritual growth was in a course on dating and marriage: "Waiting for marriage is great, but purity culture has made an idol out of purity. It has distorted the concept of purity so it has become the greatest thing a woman can offer her husband. This is unhealthy, and perpetuates a double-standard because while women are shamed for being 'impure,' it's almost so expected of men to the point that we ignore it in them, when we should be holding men to the same standard of purity as women are." The fact that God literally tells us not to make idols and not to serve any other god before Him should tell us everything we need to know about how toxic purity culture is. Because God still wanted us, even at our worst. He literally died for us. So why would we ever tell a little girl that her value as a wife is so fragile that it's entirely dependent on her supposed "purity?" Instead, we should be telling them, and constantly reminding them, that they are loved by God, and that they are beautifully and wonderfully made no matter what has happened to them or what they've gone through.
@hannahmills9959 ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love this. Every word of it. It took me sooo long to stop blaming myself for what happened. My ex husband even made it hard for me by asking "what were you wearing.. maybe u shouldn't smile so much or dress pretty bcuz it sends the wrong message ". Like what the actual heck. I agree we need to do away with this way of thinking because I can't even see myself as a victim because Christianity tells me not to. Thanks for you message luvii ❤️
@@yuhsabitvI am so glad you stop believing that nonsense. You are precious, beautiful not only in the eyes of god but in our eyes and in reality. We are defined by what we do and not what happens to us. You’re a beautiful angel of light. Let it shine
Absolutely devastated by Michael's story. I really really hope he gets everything he needs to heal as best he can from what happened to him. As a survivor of child SA myself, it sometimes seems like a never-ending process to move on from what happened, and I wish him nothing but support and love.
As always, please be respectful of everyone involved in the comments even if you may disagree with their views. The allegations made in this video are all alleged, and I am just reporting on what has been made publicly available. Please be respectful and understanding to the victims and family members as they have boldly shared their trauma online.
Love your dedication and craft🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤
2+ hours with some of my least favorite people? I'll try. Thanks for your efforts even if I cannot endure the ordeal.
Can we get a flash warning that’s longer than 2-3 seconds? I think it’d also really help if you said it aloud, in case people miss the text
Rachel Oates videos introduced me to Girl Defined. I feel like this was more about Brittany's own happiness of marriage instead of Brittany and David working together in the marriage. That's how i see it
Sorry, but no. I am not going to show any respect to extreme right wing fundies who idolize white nationalists, and train their daughters to give up on having any aspirations or identity of their own in order to become property of men.
I'm an hour and fifty minutes into this video, and my husband, who is half-listening from the other side of the room, just now asks me "So when does the murder happen?" ...he thought i was listening to a true crime podcast. 😂
😂😂😂😂😂HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
😂😂😂😂
Bruh 💀
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
lmao!!!!!!
Advocating against a sex Ed class but complaining about not knowing anything about sex and saying she needs a sex Ed class in adulthood is the most on brand Radical Christian take
Especially when you're charging people to take it from you because you learned 0.5 things about sex, but you don't need credentials, because your credential is Jesus.
Omg i thought the same!! They are all about purity till mariage but then they get martied and have problems even bigger intimacy problems. Like its real life chtistian catch 22. You are forbidden to masturbate and you wait till marriage for your "first" kiss (gurl you never kissed anybody before) but then complain its not at all what you have been told. Like wtf is this nonsense
i dont think its forbidden for us to educate ourself about it at all if done so in appropiate way.
@@allthatmatters7960I’m glad you are able to and really recommend it, even if it is just to take away nerves about ‘firsts’
I think some are raised in a household where it is indeed forbidden, I remember a doc about a doctor who lived nearby a very religious town and people would come in wishing to conceive but not knowing how. (This is a veryvery extreme version, but I think you get what I mean)
@@allthatmatters7960I don’t think you understanding what is being complained about.
Purity culture wants women to have zero knowledge about sex before marriage. Then when it comes to marriage they must suddenly know enough about sex to pleasure there husbands.
It’s as stated before a catch 22. A damn if you do damned if your don’t.
The whole Marilyn Monroe thing really p*sses me off.
We now know that Marilyn had undiagnosed manic depression. Both her mother and grandmother died in mental institutions.
How dare these stupid little girls say she wasn't happy for no real reason
Omfg thank you! I was so triggered when I saw that.
Same. It is disgusting how they used her, wrongly, to promote their absurd platform.
They also generalised horribly about all women saying Marilyn Munro "had all of the things women dream of but it still wasn't enough". Plenty of women do not care for even what is deemed the good stuff that Marylin had. The shallowness of those two seems to know no bounds.
@@It-is-me...MelsieAll they actually did was confess that they themselves wish to be liberated and embrace their sexuality/femininity, but since they cannot, they console themselves with the knowledge that even Marilyn Monroe was unhappy. Honesty, I’m surprised they implied to admiring Marilyn; I would have thought that they’d blame and shame her for being a “sex symbol.”
@@MiraBoo That is not at all what they were saying.
Marilyn's fame also came from gross men sexualizing her, without her consent. I'm pretty sure she was happy with her success since she grew up poor, but I cannot imagine the deep sadness of having your success come from being violated. She deserved so much more.
It's bonkers that Bethany & her husband admit openly they need marriage counseling while she's SIMULTANEOUSLY selling marriage courses! Besides having no educational credentials, she doesn't even have good experience cred!!
Those who can't do teach, I suppose 😆
@@cassidylouwerens1768as the daughter of an evangelical minister who “led” his own family into depression and misery, this is absolutely true.
I mean marriage counseling doesn’t always mean your marriage is in the shitter. In fact I feel that everyone who can should go to marriage counseling. Marriage counseling can be a positive experience even for completely healthy marriages. It allows you to have a fresh set of eyes on your marriage. For example my husband and I go to marriage counseling because we have differing sex drives. Neither of us are wrong or bad for our sex drives but we needed help from a licensed counselor to help us figure out what to do about that. Even the healthiest of marriages have some sort of conflict and marriage counseling can teach you how to communicate properly, how to become closer to your spouse, how to build trust, etc. We don’t live in a vacuum and getting married doesn’t just solve all personal issues you might have due to mental illness or past traumas. Marriage counseling can help couples work through that in a helpful, professional environment.
I definitely agree saying that the shit she spews is not what people need at all. She has no credentials to work in that field at all. Im just saying marriage counseling is not always a last ditch effort kinda thing. It can help enhance an already healthy relationship.
I know I’m ranting a bit but I think that a couple agreeing to go to marriage counseling together is a beautiful thing. The fact that both people in the relationship decide that they want to enrich their connection together by allowing themselves to be vulnerable with a third party is something that I think is very special.
Forcing your child to turn down a full scholarship must be a type of parental abuse.
It sounds like coercive control, so yeah, pretty f’ed up
Happened to me
@@llianneolivoreyesThat’s terrible for you, and it’s still abusive on the part of the parents.
@@llianneolivoreyesI’m sorry.
Yeahhh I don’t know how they didn’t see that God was like go college, by giving her multiple full ride scholarships to div 1 schools…..those girls are so so abused
I grew up in an evangelical home where purity was drilled into my head. I went to a purity ball, had a ring, and signed a card saying I would stay pure until marriage. Then I was SA'd as a teenager and my self-worth hit rock bottom. My parents blamed me for being SA'd and told me I must have dressed or acted in a way that made (insert name) think you wanted him. I was broken by what happened to me, and I felt guilty and worthless for not being pure anymore. Purity culture is toxic! It's taken years of trauma therapy to fix the damage the purity culture did.
That’s so awful 😞
I am a Christian, and I do not condone things like purity rings and purity balls. I find it creepy and controlling. I am so, so sorry for what happened to you and that the people who should've believed you failed you like that. Rooting for you. Good thing you found therapy.
I’m so sorry you went through that. I experienced something similar. I hope you’re doing well now ❤
I’m so sorry for your experience! That’s awful! No one should ever have to feel unworthy because of something someone else did. It’s so sad how different extreme views can hurt people.
I am so sorry this happend to you and your family came short when you needed their comfort! Sending you all the love ❤
I can't imagine ever denying my daughter an education. If they don't want to go to college, that's one thing. But to not ALLOW them to go?? That's just so wrong.
They will come into contact with people of other beliefs, other religions, and maybe they will even realise that their own cult is not all that great. Which is bad in these people's eyes. They see it as corruption.
plus their parents probably really didn't want them to be successful on their own so they could maintain control. they're dependent forever now.
@@m3ntybyes, the children aren’t even seen as separate people with rights. They are just minions.
This. Not to mention, a huge amount of jobs are locked behind college degrees. So without one, women are left with substantially less options for jobs to pay their bills and support themselves. Including most jobs that actually pay enough to live.
Denying women education so that they have no other choice than to stay at home with children and basically be as dependent on their partner as those children is quite literally on the same level of women’s rights as isis in Afghanistan. Also claiming it on gods natural order or something… like the similarities are kinda striking🤢
“You’re sad because you’re single” was their biggest talking point for YEARS because the younger sister was married before the older sister had a boyfriend. She wouldn’t shut up about it and now she’s married it’s nothing but sex.
I mean, "you're sad because you're not having sex" is more honest and accurate than "you're sad because you're single"
I know this is old and probs irrelevant now but Kristen (the one who was married first) is actually older than Bethany !
My mom,who is an African and a strong Christian told me "when a person is using their religion to talk against something they see to be a sin,they are probably doing the same or worse. So they cover theirs with what others do."
Your mom sounds like a wise person.
Well said
Sounds like a quote I came across, "Those who shout judgments are hiding the sound of skeletons dancing in their closet."
@@stickerlady1774the issue with this is that it's the holy spirits place to correct and convict. The same as it's not the christians job to judge (spiritually speaking).
Yes I have family members that use scripture as a weapon to manipulate and shame to get what they want. They will say and treat people in a disgusting manner, refuse to apologize but force that person to forgive and forget because the Bible says so and if you don’t, you are not of God.
I have little sympathy for these girls, but my heart broke when Bethany was talking about basketball. She lit up with pure joy, you can tell she really loved it.
It’s sad that her dreams got crushed at that age. I hope there’s an alternate universe out there where she became a basketball star instead and got away from her oppressive family
Something like that happened to my grandmother in the 1950's. She got a basketball scholarship to a university but her father forbid her to take it.
P.S.
I haven't got to the part of the video mentioning the basketball yet. However your comment reminded me of that story about my grandmother.
@@mollietenpenny4093something similar happened to my grandmother’s sister. She was given an opportunity to sing opera and travel, but her husband forbid her from doing it.
Same. I can't help but imagine how different her life would be if she had been allowed to follow that dream.
As someone who also grew up with an extremely narcissist mother who had the entire family wrapped around her fingers, I can't help but wonder how much of Bethany's behavior is just her mimicking her mom, still trying to get her approval, to prove her worth, and how much is her "true self".
that part of the video made my heart cry. to see someone give up something they deeply loved over such a parasitic thing is heartbreaking.
I feel like she’s so obsessed with talking about s3x because she wasn’t allowed to have, talk, or think about it until she was married. & now that she’s married it’s all she can think about and all she wants to talk about .
It’s like when kids in middle school realize they can say fuck without consequences because their parents aren’t there.
@@elizabethgatchell4546 woah, this is a shockingly good analogy here
@@elizabethgatchell4546 I mean yeah. She has the brain of a 12 year old
I totally got this impression too. It reminds me that while in college, once me and my friends started to be s3xually active, we were *insufferable* for a few months because it was all we talked about!!
It felt so new, such unexplored territory, so all our convos revolved around it; at the time our more experienced friends fondly called it "virgin syndrome" until the novelty wore off and we chilled out about it lol
Yeah, she’s going through what 16-18 girls went; the “omg my puberty started 5 years ago but NOW people will not judge me for thinking about sex!”except she was waiting like almost two decades to not only bang but kiss….
Here's something my parents did. Yes, we're religious (Catholic) and they said that ideally, sex should be something shared with someone you love/care about. I had the opportunity to have a sex ed class in middle school, they signed the permission slip without a second thought, they answered any questions I had, they were blunt and honest, they never hankered on to me to wait till marriage, I decided that. My parents even offered to get me birth control before I went off to college, which was so great of them, but I told them I wouldn't need it. Just because you want to wait to have sex, whether that's religion, personal choice, or whatever, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD WAIT TO EDUCATE YOURSELF, IT'S NOT WRONG TO LEARN ABOUT SEX. This is why I hear so many sheltered people unhappy with this aspect of their life. People get floored when I know more about sex, the human body, kinks, toys, etc., more than they do. And then they question my faith lmao
As a Protestant Christian, I agree wholeheartedly. While I choose to wait until marriage, the sex education classes really helped me become more aware. As a teen, my mom told me that if I ever felt that I was ready to have sex before marriage to make sure that I used some protection. She didn’t want me to have sex before marriage, I but I believe that she was aware of the various scenarios that could happen.
My very Christian mother drove me to get an abortion when I was 17. She was way too religious for my taste at that time, but she recognized a bad situation when she saw one and she wasn’t willing to ruin my life by forcing me to have the baby of an abusive and drug-addicted 22-year-old boyfriend who had tricked me into getting pregnant. I’ll always be grateful to her for letting me make my own decision and supporting me, not to mention paying the bill.
As for not having sex before marriage, I definitely think it’s a good idea to be very careful. Don’t be promiscuous. There are too many ways sex harms women more than men. On the other hand, you won’t be sexually and romantically compatible with just any man, and I wouldn’t take the risk of getting legally bound to a man without testing the waters a bit. My mom married a man who had a much higher sex drive than her and was also uncomfortably large for her. They joke they only had sex 4 times in the 17 years they were together, LOL. (They had four kids.) They really weren’t sexually compatible, but they got married before having sex, so they didn’t know that until it was too late. Luckily, they’ve remained friends and are now both single in their 70’s and are good to each other. We all have a daily Marco Polo (video posting app) conversation and it’s great to have such a good family and parents who get along, decades after their divorce.
Whatever you end up doing, I hope it goes well.
@@Priscilla-Prancercise hats off to your mom, and I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm so glad you're doing well.
Yeah I get that its a bit risky, but that's also why I'm educating myself/exploring what I like. I love to read a lot of romance and erotic stuff and I make note of what excites me/turns me off. And I've gotten super comfortable with being blunt and saying things the way they are, no beating around the bush or giving something a nickname. Whoever my partner turns out to be, I sure as hell need to be able to talk to them about sex and communicate what I want/like if we're going to have sex.
And thank you :)
@@celeste2025 - That’s definitely a good start! I’m glad you aren’t squeamish or uptight about it. That will help a lot. Good luck!
My parents bought me a pack of condoms my freshman year. Told me that they knew forbidding it was just likely to make me take risks, so just be safe and let them know if I needed anything like that to do it safely.
Currently I am getting my masters degree in Christian theology, and one of my professors wrote that the problem with American Fundamentalists is that they make the goal of Christianity sexual purity and heterosexual monogamous marriage, when the real goal of Christianity is union with God. That idea really resonates with me. Bethany and Kristin talk way more about sexuality than the Bible does, ignoring the more central teaching of Jesus such as serving the poor and liberating people who are oppressed. I genuinely think attending bible college could have helped the sisters learn to think more deeply and authentically about interpreting scripture, rather than just spitting back the teachings of their parents.
Agree 100%
Modern Christianity is focused on rules and legalism, but Jesus was trying to point us to a relationship with God.
You've probably done 10x the research that any hardcore Christian has ever done in their entire lives. You probably understand the Bible way more than they ever could, and they're the ones spewing the regurgitated slop that they've learned.
For me their example just reinforces the idea that the attitudes and dogma of modern Christian Fundamentalism is based on the oppressive culture of their church, and has little to do with the Bible itself. I myself only became a regular churchgoer as an adult, in a 'progressive' (much more New Testament based) Christian church. it's amazing to me how many people who did grow up in other churches have religious trauma imposed on them by church leaders who wielded their authority as a weapon.
You're probably right, but harnessing education and true intellectual thought would have made them hard for their parents and church to control. That's the point of evangelicalism - control.
I’m happy with my beliefs as a Christian that having the husband isn’t so important but optional like enjoy your single life you DONT have to get married if you don’t want to.
I have a very christian grandmother, and when I was growing up I would draw a lot.
She told me it was gods gift, and to honor god i should hone and pursue my natural talent.
I am not particularly religious and she never pushed it on me, but that made sense to me.
Now I am extremely connected to a deep artistic practice. That practice fills me with calm and wholeness, and i am able to show up in my life feeling fulfilled and happy and able to help and love the people around me.
Bethany turning away from basketball, something that brought her joy and that she was naturally good at, in order to conform to the churches patriarchal cookie cutter ideal of what a woman should be, feels very tragic to me. That wasn't gods plan for her at all. That was a lie! They are terribly, morbidly brainwashed. This is awful.
if anything you could say god gave her the gift of height to play basketball
Yeah, in fact the Bible says that we should use our talents and not let them go to waste!
Very well said! I am not a Christian but I can get behind the idea of honing natural talents. If everyone did that, the world would be a better, less bitter place.
@@longlongtran But what about Kristen being infertile? What does that say about god? Doesn't that mean it's god's will that she not have kids? Or maybe god thinks she wouldn't be a good mom, so she wasn't allowed to have kids? Christians are so quick to give god credit for everything good that happens in their lives but when bad things happen, god had nothing to do with it. They can't have it both ways but they really, REALLY want to.
IKR?! If you believe in god , why would you not believe that god gave you the gift of basketball. Same with vaccines- would vaccines not be a gift from god because he made the scientists? I dunno none of it makes sense.
Bethy turning down all of her scholarships makes me so sad. Being good enough to get a scholarship is really hard and is a big deal. Her parents robbed her of what would likely have been an enriching experience and something that would have given Bethy confidence in herself and her achievements. For shame Heidi Baird!
I agree, it's a damn shame. The hallmark of a controlling, narcissistic mother is making her children's lives all about HER.
God didn't want them to go to a Christian school??
@@pauladouglas9891 not only that the whole "we surrender our lives to your will" didn't god give us freewill?
@@pauladouglas9891 School, especially schools away from the hometown, is dangerous to this kind of person because it bursts the carefully constructed bubble of social engineering they need to maintain so they don't start having independent thought. Keeping her from going to school kept her from drifting away.
but weren't they homeschooled? I'm Australian, so I'm new to this; we just go to school here, but how do you be homeschooled, and also go to high school and get offerings of tier 1 scholarships. Please explain.
I wish these girls were as obsessed with poverty and charity as they are with sex and purity. Imagine the good they could actually do with their platform if they focused on those things! It's so warped- Jesus pretty much never talked about sex, but he certainly talked about poverty and charity. With GD, it's all very "me, me, me."
That's all of Christianity. I'm overselling, I'm sure... there just HAVE to be good Christians out there, who have actually read the Bible and live by it, but the only ones I ever see--be it local, or on tv, or in exposés like this one--are greedy, predatory heretics.
Amen! These wackos who claim to be Christian make me sick... Jesus' teachings were that everyone deserves to be taken care of.
Seeing 2 adults kiss for the first time on their wedding day in front of everyone is weird to me. Its not special it looks uncomfortable af
Those 2 went ham. Dude looked like he was trying to dig for gold. 1/10.
@@indigoigloolike he was trying to box her tonsils for more space in her throat just 🤢🤢
Not to me…
Imagine you kiss your spouse for the first time and realize there’s no spark … no chemistry… and you just assume that’s normal because you don’t know any better. Explains why Christians have such a high rate of divorce
@@LexaJ828 If that's something THEY had decided for themselves, that's completely alright. No one should feel like they have to conform to ANYTHING at all. Be it sex before marriage or waiting until marriage for it. The key is to make sure that no one is being forced into any specific idea.
these two are a perfect example of victims perpetuating the abuse they were subjected to.
exactly it’s more common than we know, it happens a lot and everywhere
True of every fundamentalist woman.
Completely indoctrinated.
I have zero sympathy for these horrible people.
The fact that Bethany insists on living "counter-culturally" but doesn't have an issue about broadcasting her wedding, her intimacy troubles, her marriage troubles, her child on the internet, a hub of culture, sure is something.
Ironic huh
Especially when she partakes in trends or uses trending audios... literal products of the current culture/ zeitgeist
I know, some rebel right.😂 If she was truly trad, shed be making her own butter. Get that churner Bethany!
Science based sex ed is so important. I grew up with it. It isn't watching porn or being instructed on how to have sex, but rather is teaching reproductive anatomy and health, the proper use of contraceptives, how STIs are spread and their risks, safe sex practices etc. Was it awkward? Holy hell, yes. Am I glad it was required curriculum? You bet your sweet Jesus, I am
The obsession with young girls virginity is inherently predacious
the purity balls specifically freak me tf out. i don’t get the fathers putting their virgin daughters on display like that…its so strange. Like celebrating their virginity? WEIRD.
@@mekaylaroblesright?? why, as a dad, are you so concerned with the status of your daughter's v4gina. please, get a different hobby.
unless she's being unsafe, please don't have so many opinions about your daughter's sex life???
@@mekaylarobles Yeah, especially at those purity balls where they have to take an OATH OF PURITY and are told to consider God as their husband and their dad as their boyfriend (seriously)
purity balls are fucking gross
@@pies-of-pain2877 Oath of Purity sounds like it could be a Dungeons and Dragons paladin oath. Unfortunately, reality is disappointing. (Now I just wanna get these girls some armour and swords and let them go ham at a ren faire)
the visceral rage i felt upon them trying to put their christian ideals on marylin monroe, whose choice to convert to judaism has been ignored so much so that she wasn't even buried how she wanted to be!! my god. leave the poor woman alone
oh dear god that makes it even worse
The woman deserves to rest, shes been a victim to this world even in death
I didn't even know she had converted. That's so sad. That woman deserved so much better than what she got
I was hoping to find a comment like this be ause yeah. She committed suicide because of all of the abuse the men in the film industry put her through, and was a proud Jewish woman, and these sisters just completely steamrolled over all of that information to suit their agenda. Despicable.
Oh my God, I didn't even know she was Jewish
Division I basketball scholarships?? Dude, you have to be REALLY good for that. If Bethany ever breaks out of the cult, she's going to feel so much grief over the future her parents forced her to give up. Truly horrific to do that to your child.
Exactly. I may not be American, but even I know that Division 1 scholarships in any sport are pretty huge. Never expected anything would be able to make me feel sorry for Bethany of all people. No one should have their future and chances taken away like that.
Detestable that anyone can know it and still continue to do it.
Are we certain she isn’t… lying?
The highest she could go is wnba so I hear you but meh
@@roninjoey she could be, but i honestly think she's telling the truth. every single hardcore christian girl i've met is incredibly hardworking, usually to please their parents or be an upstanding citizen. she was likely a really good basketball player, and combined with her height, i can believe that she got an offer
as a Ukrainian, I’m especially bothered by the erasure of the boys’ names due to how commonly our culture and our existence gets erased. the boys are also clearly not toddlers, I can’t imagine having your name changed at like 8 all of a sudden while you’re already going through a shock of a new family, a new country and learning a different language
O, привіт 😊 не очікувала знайти тут українця/українку
Привіт з Києва 😊
In another universe we don't have girl defined because Bethany went on to be a professional basketball player. If she's telling the truth, it's insane she was offered multiple full ride scholarships to D1 schools and was forced to reject them.
Schools like that can be eye opening experiences and some Christian parents (not all) don’t want their kids eyes opened.
@@RLucas3000exactly
Hearing about the basketball scholarship made me so sad for them.
If you know fundies it’s not surprising at all. Sports are for boys! Girls need to be pretty and silent.
Another universe is magical thinking. Copium. Many dreams and lives are crushed and that’s that
First hand account of their parents control and greed: My family attended the same church as the Bairds back in the early 2000s. I told my mom that Kristen had married Zack Clark, who's family also attended the same church. My mom said “oh that makes sense” because both of those families refused to be friends with the poorer members of the church. Even instructing their kids not to play with us. They wanted their children only to interact with the affluent families in ordered to be paired for beneficial marriages in the future. I was too young to remember this and she said she tried to shelter me as best she could from their exclusion, but a little insight to how their parents greed and control has been there from the start.
Massive yikes. I can't imagine being this exclusionary.
That doesn't sound very Godly to me. It sounds greedy and classist and goes against everything the real Jesus stood for. I need them to be honest about who and what they're really worshipping and keep genuine people out of their hellhole of a family and life.
Man don't let them find out Jesus hung out with prostitutes and the destitute. They will probably lose their minds.
Reading that makes their ignorance make even clearer sense. They’ve spoken out of pocket about so many issues and subjects and had to walk their statements back and make apologies simply out of their complete ignorance of the nuance of reality and the vast spectrum of the human experience. I’m sorry you had to be on the receiving end of such cruel classist behavior.
do they think it's still 1820 and their daughters will be destitute if Netherfield Park is not let
im adopted and my mom once said to me "We didn't adopted you because we love you, we adopted you because of God" , yeah I told her straight up "that was a fked up thing to say"
I was a foster kid and all of the families were like this , they adopt the babies but the older children are told they are too old .as a married woman I was told this about my husband and children too . Love is a commitment and not a feeling, you love your husband because you’re commanded to by Christ . Adoption and parenting is about raising and winning souls for Christ. I’m in therapy working on this but believing you are unworthy of love by everyone and also being told actually feeling love for anyone other than Christ has ruined my relationships and life
@@lisagilbert8497 🤢
I hope you can heal.
I hope you have better people in your life now, you deserve it.
@@lisagilbert8497 @13Rec13 I hope you both find the strength and peace you deserve. That's a horrific thing to think and even worse to say to a child, adopted or not. I'm so sorry.
I’m So sorry. I very much want to
Adopt and am also a Christian. I try to do a lot of research to not propagate any religious trauma
I've been consuming a lot of Anti-MLM content lately, and the language Bethy uses to sell her course-creating course is nearly identical to the language used to suck people into scams.
This is correct. grifters taking advantage of people who believe things. Be an atheist to not fall for scams or conspiracy theories.
Makes perfect sense, giving fundie SAHMs are a target audience of MLMs.
Not to mention she’s got no education or experience credibility 😂
As a psych student it is actually infuriating to me that a woman like Heidi takes as much as a therapist for one hour of „coaching“ but her only qualifications are that she’s old and has read the bible
I don’t even wanna think about how many people might need actual clinical help but fall into traps like these instead
As a trained coach for 15 years, it also pisses me off. Coaching is not therapy, but it needs regulation.
@@ErinThePsychicWitchAgreed. I’ve received trauma coaching from someone who was very passionate and dedicated…I’d even say she ranked up there with my actual trauma therapist. The main difference was that the latter was specialized in the disorder I had, so obviously that was vital in one regard.
Coaching can be great, I’ve experienced it firsthand. That was what started really propelling me into having more peace in my life. But also through seeing my coach spend years navigating the coaching landscape, I know there’s a ton of grift and not much to regulate it. Of course, you have to advocate strongly for yourself in medical as well, the only real difference in my experience is that there are more regulatory agencies to bang your head into if you run into unethical practice.
@@wildersystem we need the regulation. It’s essential. If you’re getting paid for something related to helping people you absolutely must be trained in it. I’m also trained in psychic work - 7 years! To be able to give readings. Spirituality is even more insane and in need of a regulating body.
Is this a bot conversation? Why is it repeating itself?
It’s so wild how they say society is obsessed with sex and relationships. Yet, that’s all THEY seem to be able to talk about. Who’s really obsessed with sex here?? Great video, as usual!!
Exactly! It’s hypocrisy at it’s finest
A good childhood friend of mine is a fundamentalist catholic, and yes, they are groomed into seeing sexual behaviour in the most benign things, ta point where it’s almost indistinguishable from a mental illness
Yeah, it's basically a fixation for that whole group of fundies. The whole world is about sex in their minds, meanwhile the rest of the world thinks about all kinds of things, and they think about sex the whole time.
@@DoritoBot9000Yes, a lot of fundies are so repressed that they don’t know how express their feelings in a healthy way, so they become paranoid & start to see sex in everything. It’s projection.
Exactly. When people confidently make broad sweeping statements about people in general, I swear to god it's always projection.
Specifically the combination of confidence and a complete lack of any real nuance.
I was raised in a very conservative Christian household. A lot of this is reminding me of the upbringing. The hypocracy always floors me. I am a single mom of 2, divorced and a recovering addict with 9+ years clean and sober. My “Christian “ parents disowned me because I didn’t go into rehab when they wanted me to. That was almost 10 years ago. The irony? My mother is an alcoholic and I’m clean….. go figure 🤷♀️
I love Trixie!
Wow im so happy for you being 9+ years clean!!! Hope you and your kids are happy everyday and your life gets better and better (i also love trixie)
@@riceel9068 thank you! Every day above ground is a blessing!
Congratulations on your sobriety. ❤❤❤
Eeeyyyy, congrats on the sobriety! I know I'm a stranger, but I'm so proud and happy for you! I'm clean myself, not from drinking, rather from self harm. Let's continue being clean.
@@kingdionysus1867 amen! Keep it up! We do recover!
I can summarize Bethany's thought process pretty easily:
"Marriage, motherhood, domestic servitude and being a financial dependent didn't make me happy and fulfilled like everyone told me it would, so I'm gonna become a snake oil salesman to make up for it."
My mom is a very religious woman and I remember one thing she said "Christan women who are way too involved into other people's business usually are the most greedy and shameless ones".
Ok, I'm a bit confused, the sex therapist didn't know the names of female body parts? Then procceded to use a baby to "educate" ? 🤢
that made me sick
Yes.
Seems legit.
Their friend, who did know where the clitoris is, apparently never thought about sketching something real quick, but instead took the opportunity when the mom (wife of "therapist") was changing their baby to point out the location on their baby. Then even worse, the couple decided this is fine to share on the internet! Where this daughter could come across it at any point or be connected to the story
Literally horrific and that therapist needs to loose her license 🤢
knowing they have a direct connection to nazis makes them talking abt purity hold a whole new meaning... kind of sounds like eugenics honestly
They also look like the ideal human that the nazis wanted
Literally tho 😅
Not to mention the emphasis on how important it is to have lots of babies
Them being predominantly tall, pale-skinned, light eyed and blonde - looking like Hitler's wet dream - makes it all that much worse. Oof 🥴
not to mention that the level of control their parents had over their lives as women is perfectly aligned with nazis idea of marriage. In germany and austria women were only 'allowed' three k - Kinder (children), kuche (kitchen), kirche (church)
Michael is so brave for sharing his story and I hope he feels the support of the internet. He deserves so much validation and love that his family never gave him. We see you, Michael, we hear you. ❤️
Am I shocked? No. Do I feel bad for them? No.
Ditto.
Did I expect this outcome? Yes.
Had me in the first half ngl
Am I gonna watch this with metaphorical Popcorn? Yes.
The girls in "Girl Defined" are begging to have the leopards ate their faces.
Is it bad I pictured that with a ukulele?
My dad joined a church like this. Extreme purity culture, judging others who don't live "perfect godly lives," the whole shebang. I am so grateful I was an adult when he joined so I was able to tell him exactly where to shove his "soul saving" rhetoric. We're no contact now because he could not stop turning every conversation into an attempt to convert me. His church has him 100% convinced that if he doesn't save my soul, he will be condemned to hell too by association. Its so sad how scared he is.
My grandmother isn't even apart of a radical church and she acted like this when I told her I wasn't a Christian.
She would say things like: I can't believe my granddaughter is going to hell!"
Or: "I could end up going to hell because I couldn't keep you a Christian."
Our relationship was severely damaged because of this.
Aiiiiii ... all the shame that is created...
Shiiit Catholicism pulls that crap. My grandparents are still upsetti spaghetti I'm an atheist and made their daughter an atheist because now, since SHE left the church, they can't go to heaven. Sounds like their god is just kind of a MLM asshole but that's just my take lmaoo
Also just another "fun" catholic fact, all unbaptized babies, even if the parents planned to baptize but the child died before they could, go in limbo to suspend in nothingness forever. Even miscarriages. If youre a "good catholic" youd never see those babies/fetuses, there would be no "reunification in heaven" cause theyre not allowed in. Just a real party time in this religion.
the whole shebang doesnt sound very pure
I might be immature but her sex course being $169 made me have a good laugh 😂😂
OMG I was the same 😂 Subliminal messaging much? 🤷♀️😄 x
My husband said “giggity” to $169 because he was vaguely listening in.
Same
omfg that's amazing
I like that we as humans giggle when we hear anything with 69 in it 🤣
As a pre-licensed mental health professional, I am in the midst of hours and hours of course work, internships, and supervision. Seeing these people giving out all of these courses about life coaching, mentoring, and nutrition makes me so sad. I hope they have not done major damage and that they stop this lunacy immediately.
Same. I’m an LCSW and it takes SO much time and training as you know. I’ve practiced like 5,000+ hours at this point. These women create courses and coaching content with 0 real training and experience. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I wish we got a timeline with Bethany as a professional basketball player instead of one with Girl Defined
Right? She must've been pretty good to be offered to play college ball
@@annawallace3383she got 5 offers from D1 colleges. I’m not American but I believe that’s the highest level from what I learned.
If I’m right, she could have played in the WNBA depending on her performance. WNBA doesn’t make as much as the NBA but she still would have made a lot more money than in Girl Defined and she wouldn’t be profiting from… a religious “nonprofit” organization.
God: I LITERALLY GAVE YOU SIGNS
frr this feels like the bad ending 💀
So does she 😢
The way Bethany laughs when she's talking about how good she was at basketball is soooo heartbreaking. You can see she still misses it and is not over it after all this time, probably bc the "option" she went for instead of basketball was marriage and her marriage is unfulfilling to say the least.
It's honestly the stuff of horror 💯
As a former athlete, it's double sad bc there are a TON of all female &/or 😂Christian universities w excellent athletic programs that she cld have attended.
Also, there's not 1 single video of her playing, at home, a park, a church gymnasium... nowhere! Nor has she shown ANY college offer letters. Which makes it TRIPLE SAD to actually be good, & have zero stats, proof, or receipts to back it up, then do NOTHING w that "gift." Kinda hard to believe, but who am i?
Did she ever consider that if God made me good at basketball, God probably wants me to play basketball?
@@lauriepenner350 they probably think that God gives those skills as "tests" to see if you will choose the world or Him when having the chance. I'm 100% not kidding or being sarcastic.
So much pain she has to laugh fake to cover up the confusion and pain. Sickening.
The whole "your first time will hurt" idea is so infuriating. If you take the time to get ready, it shouldn't hurt. But its so ingrained it will hurt that we anticipate it which makes us tense up which is the opposite of what needs to happen. Its this vicious cycle that continues to perpetuate pain during sex when it doesn't have to be this way.
1000%
Yeah, I was told it would hurt so much and then it just... didn't. It was only a bit akward 😅 but I felt no pain at all.
I had been so anxious about it I was 23 before it happened. And it was such a non-issue that in my relief I actually started laughing during it. XD He knew *why*, so he wasn't offended, but it was truly hilarious how I'd built up such fear over absolutely nothing. He wasn't a great boyfriend (various issues, we weren't a good match), but 10/10 Would Recommend to Virgins. Five stars. XD
Protip: be on top for your first time!! You have so much more control over the angle and the depth and really just everything - it all goes at *your* pace, which I feel is critical for a good first time.
It also pisses me off bc they hate masturbation so like... what are women supposed to do?? They cant prep themselves mentally with that and they cant have sex with other people so....?? Like i get it the hymen is a thing so why not do whatever you need to do privately and prepare yourself privately. For people preeching run to the finish line of marriage they sure hate the practice runs for some reason
Yea for real! sex ed in schools can be so hit or miss, I remember being taught by a man and we spent like 1 day learning abt female anatomy. I was also told that "porn is bad because it gives you unrealistic expectations of sex" which to this day I don't understand. porn is bad for completely different reasons. And they never told us what our expectations should be? This was all public school btw
My favourite thing about these two is how they look at each other with sheer contempt.
I thought that. And before the second one got married I felt the other was almost shaming and bullying her for it. In their older videos the one sat on the right would look with such a face on when her sister would talk
Sometimes one would go through her phone when the other was talking. They clearly dislike each other, which is the only relatable point: I can't stand either of them myself.
What if gods plan was originally for Bethany to have a basketball scholarship? I’m Christian & having a child so gifted in a sport they genuinely enjoy would be seen as a BLESSING! Their parents do not want the best or gods blessings for their own children that’s very sad.
My thoughts exactly.
God gives people talents for a reason and Bethany turning her back on it is ironically more like turning away from God’s design than not being a “perfect godly wife”
A malignant narcissist can't be a good Christian as we understand Christian values today... They are the polar opposite of loving, kind and selfless.
That's actually incorrect, they do genuinely want what's best for their children. It's the one thing that's hard to understand with people like this. They really think they are doing good for them and the world. That's why they are so adamant about sharing, they really think it's what's best and want it for you too. They don't realize it's actually really bad and is the very reason their lives suck so much.
@@MrDoenyon I think it's a bit of both. I see in lots of Christian circles a mentality that *suffering* is what's best. If you want or like literally anything that's unrelated to your faith, that's temptation and needs to be taken away. Unhappiness is the norm for them in that way.
Religious extremist nonsense aside, their diatribe about marilyn Monroe was nauseating. It’s not even certain she took her own life, it’s just as likely it was an accidental OD. That’s not difficult to do with barbiturates. And the narrative that “fame and beauty just wasn’t enough for her blah blah blah” is gross…
Yes- very sadly, mixing alcohol and opiates is the fast lane to accidental overdose. Which was likely the case. Will MM ever be left to RIP?
I could be remembering incorrectly, but I think she died from a barbiturate OD, not opiates and alcohol. Barbiturates aren’t very common anymore like they were in Marilyn’s time. Now, I think they’re only used in some cases for migraines and seizures. But you’re very right about mixing opiates and alcohol those are very dangerous together, they’re both respiratory depressants.
Yeah the victim-blaming was infuriating
The fact that Bethany made her sex course $169 makes me really sure she isn't ready to teach a sex course 😂
Greedy Bethame is one thing. I am more concerned about those naive young girls who are willing to pay for that shit
@@Lja77613I think it’s more their controlling parents who are buying it for them. I don’t think most teenage girls would look at that and think it’s for them.
@@FwootgummiLet alone most teenage girls having anywhere near almost $200 on hand to spend on that.
she knew damn well what she was doing! lmao
Yes, and I’m embarrassed for her because those fake happy dancing around “POV” videos are ridiculous 😂
something that really grinds my gears about this is that they present themselves as “experts” on topics like mental health and nutrition, but also degrade women who go through the steps to become actual professionals in the field
I'm pretty sure Marilyn Monroe was being physically abused by like, every man in her life and people who knew about it just covered it up. Literally movie makeup artists covered her bruises so they didn't show on camera. It's wild to use her as an example of a beautiful woman who couldn't find happiness in her success so she committed unaliving at a young age.
not to mention they used her brutal life story for an advertisement for their book, a story they watered down in the first place... yikes
ikr i was literally yelling at my screen SHE WAS THE VICTIM OF SO MUCH SEXIST ABUSE HOW DARE YOU
Eben when she died, she was not free from all the sexist abuse😢
@@radschele1815 to this day, that guy who wanted to be buried above her face down so he'd always be looking at her, makes me sick
Plus the notes of "her makeup-covered face and dyed blonde hair" coming from these women who are always clearly wearing makeup and dyeing their hair blonde, like bffr
I’m a deconstructed Christian. I was EXACTLY like them and it makes my skin crawl. Thank you so much for talking about how toxic this way of thinking is.
What’s a deconstructed Christian?
@@paradiserestored6179christians who were often raised in religion but take a step back and ask questions and use logic to figure out what they believe and what is the trash that religion tells you to believe.
Thank you for joining the good side. Do you listen to the Line with Matt and Jimmy? i highly recommend.
The ongoing circus of the 'god-fearing' Republican assault on morality, decency and humanity makes deconstruction especially easy.
@@paradiserestored6179 somebody that has been indoctrinated since birth by a form of religion or cult. shedding a believe that has been thought to you for so long, Requires you to deconstruct your entire moral and believe system. And reconstruct your thought pattern, decision making and morals with relying on your on believes. It's really hard to do for most people that start to have doubt and lose "faith". In my opinion religion should not be forced on children before at least the age of 12. There is no proof of God or anything the bible teaches.
I’ve never heard of ‘stay-at-home daughter’ before that sounds blatantly abusive?
It's actually a big thing in China. The SAHDaughter or even Son does stuff like clean the house, do grocery shopping, make meals, take pets to the park or to vet appointments, etc. Some of them will be doing it while doing online college. Only difference is that those kids actually get paid for the work they do.
@@itscjrodgers The more you know~ Thank you for teaching!
as a ukrainian-american person, born to ukrainian immigrant parents in the us, and learning that kristin stripped them of their ukrainian names is infuriating, she just stripped them of their culture, and heritage, just because its "different". ive struggled in school with people not knowing how to pronounce my name and just making up nicknames, or pronouncing it wrong even after being corrected just because they didn't want to say my name, even now, i have to go by my first initial everywhere i work bc my managers and coworkers cant pronounce my name and even stated that "they werent going to try". it got to the point where i hated my name when i was younger and would go by my middle name which sounds more american when i was younger, and looking forward to being old enough to change my name, now. i'm proud of my name and last name and my heritage, hopefully kristin will keep the boys in touch with their culture and not shelter them from it, and at least help them continue using, learning and interacting with other ukrainians in the ukrainian language so they dont lose it.
tldr: i grew up and first gen immigrant to ukrainian parents speaking ukrainian as a first language and had trouble accepting my culture when i was younger but now im proud of it
This exactly. I also heard that her and her husband couldn’t even be bothered to learn any Ukrainian. Their boys were old enough to have grown up speaking it and to have that also erased is just disgusting. If I ever adopted children from a different culture I would most definitely keep their names and do my best to immerse them in the culture they were born in so they can keep that connection.
It’s like she just wanted to scrub away their past life as if it didn’t matter.
I'm European too, and baffled by how little American seem to give equal dignity to other cultures when I grew up with that being not only normal, but present in my everyday life. I live in Italy and had lots of Romanian, Albanian, Russian etc. classmates, and went to art school with a lot of them. Xenophobia was still present, but at least it was "shameful", but the utter dismissing of a culture being so present that you deny someone's name, their identity, would tell me about their people enough to know some parts of their worldview.
Hope you can live more peacefully now.
Just FYI, don’t edit your comment next time cus the like from the uploader will be removed.
Also, I get that. I feel like it’s something a lot of first gen immigrant kids deal with. It didn’t help how racist and how “you just assimilate” the culture was back then.
@@Alyse_bell that’s insanity, i’m so glad ukrainian was my first language, and thankful to my parents for it. even though ESL was hard and i was told to “speak english, you’re in america” by the ESL teacher, it was all worth it. i encounter a lot of slavic first generation immigrants who don’t know they’re native tongue and deeply regret not learning it when they were younger because either their parents didn’t teach them to spare them from xenophobia or something else of the sort. truly i am blessed to have been born into my family.
Thats crazy to hear (well, read), as a Polish immigrant in UK, because here i know 3rd generation immigrants who speak regular Polish without any accents and are still in touch with Polish culture (by that i mean they still watch Polish TV, Polish youtube, listen to Polish music etc) and besides being way more liberal than most people in Poland they could go back and noone would notice theyre any different.
But it does make sense when i consider that if i feel like going to my hometown (as im more of a straight outta boat type immigrant lmao migrated in my 20s), i can book a flight week in advance for like 20-30 quid (it would cost me the same or more to get a train from Hampshire to London, like 2h ride). Not to mention how densely populated UK is, and how most Poles live in specific areas and neighbourhoods to a point that when i first came to Britain for summer work i lived in a sharehouse with Poles only, commuted to work with Poles only, and at work i was around Poles only, shopping in a Polish store etc. With occasional Slovakian, Czech or Ukrainian person sticking with us as they didnt speak much English usually and its much easier to communicate with us, ending up learning Polish fluently. To a point it became a meme among Slovakians that when they come back from UK their friends ask them to say something in English, to which they respond with something like "Weź mi skręć szluga bo palić mi się chce jak psu ruchać". Hard to integrate into English society or forget that youre Polish in that environment LMAO
While greed is definitely one of their flaws, there’s also hypocrisy, and more nazi apologetics than you would expect
I don’t know them at all, but as a person who was religiously (and etc) abused by evangelical Christian parents, I’m gonna say it’s probably exactly the amount of Nazi apologetics that I imagine.
@@tiffanysjustcoloringthat’s fair, and yet doesn’t make it any less bizarre that they don’t even try to distance themselves from the fact that they had a nazi ancestor
IKR? I don't know much of their channel, but this was enough for me to gauge what they are about: while drag queens and other queer people are under political and violent attack across the country, they made content attacking drag queens specifically. They're bullies, pure and simple. (Haven't watched this video yet, btw. That's my starting point based solely on what I witnessed them saying on their channel.)
@@Cat_Woods On 6 May 1933, the Institute of Sexology, an academic foundation devoted to sexological research and the advocacy of homosexual rights, was broken into and occupied by Nazi-supporting youth. Several days later the entire contents of the library were removed and burned.
@@tiffanysjustcoloring Even as a jaded ex-vangelical, it'll still be worse than you expect. You should look into it.
"Self-esteem: Why Christian Girls don't need it" sounds like some kind of parody that's how truly outrages that statement it.
Definitely a weird part about Christian fundamentalism. I once saw old footage of Jimmy Swaggart preaching about how Christians shouldn't chase after self-esteem because it's all worldly and separate from God or whatever.
Definitely seems like a way to manipulate folks into seeking validation from church authority figures rather than cultivating it themselves.
It's amazing that Bethany can go through all of this and not realize that her strategy didn't work. She ended up in a bad marriage _because_ of purity culture. At this point, her only option is to frame it as normal, unavoidable struggles that everyone should expect from a relationship and try to convince herself that things would be even worse if she hadn't stayed pure.
@K.C-2049 I agree. It was awful when I went through it, so I definitely have sympathy
I remember being embarrassed in middle school and for the first and last time in my life purposefully getting a slightly worse grade in a class because I was embarrassed to get a high grade in health class.
My friend was unashamed and got a 100% and when I asked about it, my friend said “my mom didn’t know anything at all on her wedding night and had no idea what my biological father was doing. She had no idea what to do once she was pregnant with me especially once she moved to this country and didn’t have a support network. I’m learning what I can now because she didn’t get a chance.”
I felt so awful for dismissing one of the most important parts of my education.
That's very relatable for many who have parents that give up everything for them; I was the same way. I felt it was literally the only thing I had left in my life I even had control over. I did have a parent who moved countries tho, I just lost my parent to MS. It's like a huge guilt and fear of inadequacy which gets placed on you after these types of life events. Def not fun, but I am an excellent student now. I hope she, and you, are doing great!
My mom jumped into this whole subculture when I was 13 after my normal upbringing beforehand. It was completely a tool for control. We were sheltered excessively and only put around people of the same mindset and were brainwashed. Luckily, my dad (who was divorced from my mom) talked me into going to college after my mom couldn’t answer my very basic questions about her future plans for me. “What if I get married and am unable to have kids for many years? What am I supposed to do at home without kids or education to get a job?” Her shrugged shoulders and lame answer, “take up a hobby.” was not satisfying. So, I left for school and then to China, met my husband and have been raising my family abroad for the past 15 years as far as I can possibly be from my family or origin.
Shout out to your dad! Glad you're living life the way _you_ want to ^^
i’m not from the states so i had no idea what a division 1 university was, so i googled it and wow… i’m truly sad for her. full scholarship to several of the top universities in the country and giving it up because your parents want you to be a housewife?
it doesn’t even look like it was what she wanted, she looked so happy talking about basketball, she truly loved it. i feel so bad that she got brainwashed like that.
This is what religion does to women
Originally women only went to college to get their MRS.... In other words to find a husband. Many cultures know that education is power and they want to keep women under their thumbs. One way to do that is to prevent their education and push them into marriage / motherhood.
Yeah I absolutely agree. No one should have such an opportunity taken from them. Can’t believe I‘m feeling bad for Bethany of all people…
1:18:18 IM SORRY?!?!?! im married and i have never imagined my husband as another man during sex EVER 😭😭 thats literally a HUGE sign of a very unhappy marriage and relationship (unless its for roleplay purposes or something). Thats insane that she said that like its super normal for everyone.
Forgot to comment on that but isn't that crazy?!? I'm sure they're the first ones to judge the living shit out of cheaters but somehow getting off of other men in your mind is godly. Make it make sense. Glad I'm not having to deal with that, not even when I was single and having hookups.
Right? I realized how serious a long term crush (now relationship lmao) was that I couldn’t even force myself to think about other people when I was trying to get over it, I would just think about them again 😅😂 it’s sad they didn’t even start having relations until the marriage and are already tired of each other
I thought that was just me! I’m single rn, but I’ve never thought about someone else during intimate time with my ex-partners. Not saying it’s wrong for it to happen every once in a while, but to have it happen every or most of the time is a HUGE red flag…
Another commented that he's been through gay conversion therapy. If indeed true, it would explain a lot
He came out and said that's just a rumor.
live streaming your entire wedding is crazy😭😭😭
The irony of it all 🤣🤦🏼♀️
It went from “no wonder you’re so sad and don’t know what to do with your life, you’re single” to “why my marriage is so hard, why did I have kids” 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
This is a prime example of why you chose your own path and don’t let others influence what you should do with your life.
What a ridiculous group of people.
Notice how Bethany describes herself as a "stay at home mom" when she's actually a "work from home mom". It's like a workaround for getting to say she's "stay at home mom", which implies she doesn't work, while getting to have a career anyway.
Household is work. Cooking, cleaning, laundry...
@@florian8599 She has a career, though. Not just home making.
"Passive" income is also one of those buzz words that gives the impression you don't have to work and it'll be easy. Just buy my course and profit.
Concealing all the work she does, career-wise and home making, to her audience makes that a pretty shitty and dishonest career, considering that she promotes a stay at home lifestyle not every family can pull off. Bc most either have to work (from home) or have a wealthy family or partner have their back. The fact that financial independence is crucial to be an active party in this scenario as a "stay at home" cannot be stressed enough. So it should be communicated.
@@florian8599Taking care of the household is absolutely work, I agree, but you can see from her posts that she isn’t very good at it. Unclear if she tries to keep house and gets distracted (as I certainly do), or if she doesn’t prioritize cleanliness. She leaves curdling hot chocolate mugs on her bedside.
As a married woman i couldn't imagine having to fantasize about other men it feels like they didnt marry for love but for expectation
I’ve never understood why homophobes think my sex life is any of their business. And how exactly does my marriage affect your life?
*1000% THIS*
Same with interracial. WE AR ALL HUMAN BEINGS
They say we're shoving our "lifestyle" down their throats and that we're grooming children
While they post every aspect of their sex lives on every form of social media and talk about using a human child as an anatomy doll
Because when we sin it harms the world we live in, it is the reason the world is the way it is. We all know the world is screwed up and that is because of man.
And no one is homophobic. There is no fear. We just judge actions.
@@rynomacamillion the word Phobia can refer to fear AND/OR hate. It's pretty ... Cumbersome
XD
I honestly have completely forgotten about these two. I'm honestly not even surprised this was the outcome. Tends to happen to those who are the loudest with their religion.
The biggest thing that confuses me is that their platform is labeled a nonprofit, when all it has become is a way for them to MAKE profit…
@@cruelworldhappymindI had a feeling they were scammers from the beginning. A lot of Christians use their religion to scam and get attention. Their downfall doesn't surprise me.
It's almost like they're trying to compensate because they know they don't actually follow their religion and they don't want people pointing that out so they can act all high and mighty
A case of the "girl" doth protest too much. People who have to shout about how they have the answer and know what you should do - isn't that the definition of judgemental?
@@cruelworldhappymindthat’s Christians for you!!
‘Having kids didn’t fix me’ is honestly an insanely brave and IMPORTANT thing to say to an audience like theirs, I’m a little surprised at the backlash?
Yes it actually IS good for children to learn that having kids doesn’t automatically make their mothers happy. It’s absolutely crucial for kids emotional health that they understand ‘mom is unhappy’ doesn’t mean ‘mom doesn’t love me’
And those kids will grow up someday! Knowing that parenthood isn’t a magic bullet will protect them from making the same mistake she did
Like one of comments of original post said, telling that "motherhood/fatherhood/parenthood is dissapointing" or "children are dissapointing" hurts children. If anyone has problems with their parenthood, friends or therapy is right place, not social media where children can find parents' posts and be scarred for life...
The comment that went "if my mom said that blabla" seemed so selfish to me like please get over yourself ! Yes your and my and maybe even most of our moms struggled with motherhood, we as children probably weren't God's gift on earth and if you take it personally when your mom tells you abt her struggles then sorry but you're childish
Ofc it's not something you should hear as a child ever !! However I doubt these kids have access to her instagram so it's not like she's telling them these things (hopefully)
There is a two-pronged issue here. First is that she is admitting that everything she had been saying about waiting until marriage and having kids is a lie, which would cause some upset with the audience that they fostered. It's not unlike iilluminaughtii in that sense.
The second is that expecting children will fix your problems by behaving as you want them to puts an undue burden on the children. Even if she doesn't tell the child directly, the majority of children are not stupid. If they perceive something is wrong and are not told about it, they will likely blame themselves. Between this and the fact that we know Kristin is effectively erasing their cultural roots to raise them as all-American children, I would not be surprised if we hear that they're in therapy for low self-esteem or even dissociation in the future.
Having a child. I'm miserable. I can't lie. My only child is 14. I love HER beyond,but being a mom doesn't bring me any joy.😢
@@SiripinkHeart then why you don’t get help or give her to adoption? Children tend to be socially smart enough to realize that something is wrong but not what is wrong, and narcissistic enough to think that it's their fault that something is wrong...
As someone who’s great grandpa was torn apart from his family at just 16 and was sent to work in the factories in Germany during the war. It’s so disrespectful of them to go ‘and learn what they went through’. Their great grandpa went through nothing. He was one of the people that hurt so many others. My 20 year old great grandpa came back from the war extremely underweight and went back to the farm where he grew up that got completely destroyed. He only spoke about it to my grandma. No one else. There is one photo of him after he returned and he looks insanely traumatized, which he was.
I agree that that man went through nothing but at the same time, do Americans really think that all German/Austrian (grand) great parents were shunned? Pretty much all families here who are not immigrants have Nazi history and we don't have a huge group of elderly people just completely severed from society.
Most of the time those people would simply refuse to talk about war and their own contribution to it so their descents have not much of a chance than to just move on with life and not place too much thought into it.
It was extremely weird and tone deaf to post the things that have been posted but honestly you can't really judge this from an outsider's perspective.
People who were in the military under the Nazi regime had little choice. It's unfair to classify all of these people as evil who should be shunned and condemned because they LIVED in a country with an evil dictator. Were there evil Nazis? Absolutely. Was everyone doing something evil? No. And you shouldn't have to pretend your family didn't exist and shouldn't be loved or spoken of because things that a lot of them didn't want to do.
I'll just chime in with others and say that there was not much of an option about your children being in the Hitler Youth, or you serving in the military. Even becoming a member of the party was not really option for many people. While Germany does bear the weight of what happened, there was a ton of brainwashing, plus insane coercion happening at a national level. My family is German, and our history is not all sunshine and rainbows. But in addition to having family that served in the German military during WWII, we also have family that was sent to a camp because she was caught listening to the BBC. Toeing the line could be a life or death thing for the German people. They *did* have the luxury of not being the target of Hitler's genocide, but getting in the way was extremely dangerous to you and your family.
Just because they "went through" something different than yours doesn't make it wrong. What's wrong is judging someone who didn't do anything to you except want to learn their history.
Thank you for sharing your great-grandpa’s story
I gotta say, I eally like these 1-2 hour deep dives into topics like this, as well as the casual tone you take. It really feels like we're just having a conversation and you're teaching me about this subject I've not heard much of. Please keep doing content in this style!
it's so weird that Girl Defined's audience is supposed to be teenagers, but Bethany had zero hesitation to pivot her courses about sex
She has said her sex courses are for adults. But we have to remember in Fundamentalist Christianity, girls are expected to be married or thinking of marriage as young as 15 years old
@@Chillaxesor younger
And? Look I hate girl defined, but teenagers are the perfect audience for sexual education. She’s just not the person who should be teaching it. Or anything, for that matter.
@@BeckBeckGoshe’s against sex ed, its just hypocritical
Them talking about Marilyn Monroe seriously made me angry. She didn't unalive herself because everything she had wasnt enough. If she *did* do it, it was more likely due to depression because (and please correct me if I'm wrong) she never wanted to be a sex symbol in the first place
She was also allegedly s*xually abused by her foster parent when she was a child.
She had a screwed up childhood and dealt with that trauma all her life.
My guess is that Even a small normal life, with a husband and children wouldn’t have made her happy.
Not only that, she had manic depression and was left untreated. Her mother and grandmother both died in a mental institution.
@@JackieJaime90 I feel like a big part of what made her so unhappy is she got out of that situation she was in as a child right into the predatory hands of men in Hollywood. She got out of poverty but was then sexualised and mistreated by those around her in adulthood as well. Her entire life was very tragic.
She was killed, it was not suicide
She also struggled with infertility, which Kristen should be able to empathize with
The fact that fundies stop their kids from being educated about sex, build up marital sex as the ultimate ideal, and let couples go into it without even knowing the basics like where the clitoris is or the meaning of consent… It’s truly cruel. I grew up in purity culture but I am so fortunate my mom didn’t “want to deal with” homeschooling us, bc I got sex ed in school. Didn’t have my first orgasm until my 20s, and I still deal with shame around sex, but I wasn’t quite as blindsided as some.
most people are very ill equipped to provide adequate home schooling, glad you were spared that experience, at the very least.
as a victim of homeschooling, I genuinely think it shouldn't be legal. it's basically neglect. No access to friends and social skills, no independence, no learning about anything outside what your parents think, extremely sheltered and isolated. It's debilitating for life.
Homeschooling is cruel.
“Fundies” 😂
@@tetherballobsession No learning about anything outside your parents knowledge either no ? Cause aside from having some very very well educated and smart parents... And even then, you just can't beat the variety taught in schools.
@tetherballobsession Honestly, homeschooling is such an alien concept to me. Here in Germany (and other European countries), homeschooling is illegal. You're free to decide whether you send your child to a regular public school, a private school, or a Christian school. If you as a parent don't make sure that your kid goes to school, you'll end up paying very high fines. In drastic cases the police will show up. This is also the case if the kid tries to skip school.
Michaels’s story gave me chills and the fact that his mom blamed him is so fucked.
I had a roommate that lived, breathed, and made everything these girl said a part of her life. She started getting unbearable and so two faced to her non- Christian friends, by making fun of them with her Christian friends. Literally every thing this girl followed has imploded in upon itself over the last few years. So glad she broke her lease and moved out because I was “ demonic in nature” that’s what she told me was my issue. Ummmmm ma’am I have mental health issues and PTSD.
I guess that's demonic, idk. You lil' devil! 😈
Some people like this would straight up believe you struggle with this 'cus you won't let god into your life to heal you, or that he would've protected you from the event in the first place. 🙄 You don't need that bullshit.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, but at the same time, if someone told me they thought I was demonic, I would absolutely lean into it and scare the living daylights out of them 😂😂 you could absolutely get revenge via pranks like leaving pentagrams everywhere and pretending to be possessed
It's usually the most (self proclaimed) "Christ like" among us that tend to be the most vile people. I said it once and I'll go to my grave saying it, but these people would absolutely crucify Jesus all over again if he actually did come back.
talking shit about people behind their backs isn't christian at all. those people are insane hypocrites with a christian coat of paint imo.
@@babyleafsaladd5322 oh I did lean into it heavily and used my background in DND to do so! Omg so fun, I also sleep walk so that helped even more 😅😂🤣
Now I’m not religious, but I think God said that greed is a sin. Ironic for Girl Defined since she is a greedy person.
It technically was two girls, even if one was more talkative than the other
@@gameb9oyhate and jealousy are also sins they express to each other in their videos.
Super toxic girl positivity!
Christians have always cherry picked the parts of the Bible they want to blather about and ignore the parts that seem ludicrous or they just don't like.
It’s one of the main 12
They have low self-awareness. They think they're main character who are always right.
Fun story. I went to visit the former “friend” who introduced me to Girl Defined. We were walking around her city when a gay couple passed us and she asked me… “do you have ‘those’ were you’re from?”
I’m still astounded to this day.
That is bad, but the idea of someone talking about a gay couple like they're imported is almost too funny to be mad at.
@@shr1mpsush1Yeah, there’s definitely an incredulous humor when someone makes a statement like that.
@@shr1mpsush1why don't you know all us queer folks have to be designed in offshore labs disguised as oil rigs!
I was about to reply with “You used to be friends with Jaclyn Glenn!?” until I read the rest and realized you’re actually telling me there’s people who actually unironically watch Girl Defined 🥴😶
@@somedragonbastardI can’t believe I forgot about that!!! 😂
Of course I realized MUCH later that I’m bi which she would DEFINITELY have disapproved of 🫢
I hate the "the one who designed you, gets to define you" line so much. My narcissistic asshole dad designed me. He broke down everything I was until I had no identity at all and remade me as who he wanted. It's taken years upon years of therapy to untangle the dissociation and delusions he left me with from who I really am and what makes me happy. While I see his impact in my daily interactions, he will never define me. And neither will any "god"
Michael, speaking of your pain is not "victimhood". It's the most badass and strong thing you could have done. Wish you strength and peace.
You’re the only comment I’ve seen talking about Michael, I felt so bad for what he had to endure with no support from his family. He is so strong to speak up and it’s actually helping people, unlike what his sisters are doing.
Dave sure seems like he’s deconstructing. I really hope he continues to pull at these strings, and that he finds a meaningful support system outside the church.
Iirc he was in a gay conversion camp. I just hope he can work through that trauma + all that religious trauma
@@diana5281he did not go through conversion camp or conversion therapy. that was a rumor that continues to be perpetuated because people *want* to believe it
He made a video about that and said it wasn't true. He did seem supportive of people who had been through it, though.
I think you’re on to something. Deconstructing can look different to different people. But it can help to think about what his faith truly means to him. For me it started as recognizing that the Jesus I saw in church wasn’t the Jesus I grew up being taught about. There is a page called The New Evangelicals that shows that deconstructing doesn’t mean removing of the faith. (But for me it did… lol)
As a German, this feels so weird to me. Like a lot of Germans, I did have relatives who fought in the war. None of them were members of the NSDAP ... it's one thing knowing what your great-grandparents or grandparents did or were part of, but it is a COMPLETELY different thing, sitting in front of their grave, smiling and honouring them.
I never met my great-grandfather, it is said he died in a russian prison cell. I can't deny he (probably) took part in killing a lot of people. He was a soldier after all.
How the f*ck can you sit there and talk about a grandfather who was a Nazi-Mayor of all things. I feel bad thinking about the horrible things my great-grandfather (probably) did and I felt so releaved when I learned my grandparents had been too young to actively participate in the war. (all of them were school kids, younger than 12 during the war)
Because Germans as a nation is actively fighting that history won't repeat itself (I know, not all of them, but mostly). For example, the Panthera thing with Rock am Ring - there're no excuses, that "I didn't mean wrong", a lot of people thought that banning them was to much, but it wasn't. Germans I knew are very mature about that their grandparents or great grandparents could be nazi. But they aren't celebrating that, like Bethany. They're adressing the issue, talking loud about it, not hiding behind shame, but also not praising that. And I say it as a Polish.
The thing is, if you run abroad, you didn't have to learn how to deal with that like, for example, Germans collectively as a nation. The legend could rise, I can imagine something "Your grandpa was Nazi, but he loved God" or similar. Of course, always remember "You're not your parents/grandparents" thing, but just don't idolize nazis? She had time to think about posing that photo with gravestone for example?
its really scary
I have never understood this. And I say this as somebody whose granparents lived in a country where the WW2 fights were going on.
It's absolutely okay to take a photo smiling on your granparents grave. They are still your granparents.
It's just so weird that nobody in Europe is going around saying to Germans their granparents were Nazis or whatever. I have no idea why you feel the need to do it yourself.
You are responsible solely for your own actions, not for actions of your ancestors. Your ancestors also just followed the orders, and not following orders would mean sanctions.
Don't be stupid, don't live your life in guilt for something somebody did when you weren't even born yet 🤦
@@ElysV135 Exactly. I live in Austria and most peoples great grandparents were nazis here. I bet most of these people complaining would also salute if a dangerous regime with loaded guns knocked on their door and asked what side they're on. They ignore the fact that many didn't have much of a choice.
@@ArsonisticElmobeing a solider is one thing. Climbing up the ranks and holding onto the ideology when its even the general gov at the time is something else
Not even 5 months later and Bethany’s husband Dave is an atheist and she’s deconstructing her religion
…what? Is that true?
@@toolazyforthis3164 yup! Fundie Fridays has a good breakdown of it titled “Girl Defined Updates #7 | Dav is Deconstructing”
@@toolazyforthis3164essentially
I was raised by a woman just like Heidi. I got out after realizing she never saw me as an individual....i was just an extension of her. At 32 i was divorced, sheltered and alone. She had groomed me since birth to serve my mother and only to be her puppet. I turned my back on it all. I'm now 42, married, happy and have a wonderful career. Ive been no contact for almost a decade and it was the best decision i ever made.
It’s great that you removed yourself from that negative dynamic. Good for you! 😊
I love how they keep referencing "Kissing under the Mistletoe" in their desires to have a husband... Who's gonna tell them that it's a Pagan thing? 🤣
You know I thought that same thing.
so is christmas lol
@@grreeeeee well, Christmas itself is Christian, but half the practices used to celebrate it are "borrowed" from paganism.
@@Akatsuki69387 maybe splitting hairs, but literally nothing about christmas is christian except the name. jesus was born in march. trees are pagan, santa is pagan, stockings are pagan.
@@grreeeeee Did we ever find solid evidence for the whole March bit? I thought that was just one of those "Reddit conspiracy" deals? Or maybe I'm thinking of another thing.
Either way, the Christmas we celebrate now is far more pagan influenced than the "traditional" Christmas celebrated by the church back when the holiday first became a thing. Mostly because pagan traditions mesh really well with the consumerist culture we have in the world today. You can't exactly go out and buy thoughts and prayers.
Edit: I mean...technically you can, but Martin Luther already pointed out the issues with that so...y'know....
Those that find it neccesary to shout loudest about their religion are usually the ones whom are anxious about it. it's narcissism in the classic sense.
I have to tell you, these deep dives you do are so well-researched, presented in such a clear, concise way, but you keep my attention from beginning and end and believe me, that’s pretty unheard of- I think my attention span is probably like four minutes usually.
You have such a high degree of professionalism and I really admire, respect and thoroughly appreciate your content and I will continue being a dedicated viewer as long as you are a dedicated creator! ❤️ much love 😊 💜
I don't understand how they can call themselves a non-profit when they literally don't do anything for free. You have to pay for their courses, books, classes, etc. The point of a non-profit is usually to provide a free service of some kind. But instead, they're treating "donations" as their personal bank account, which I'm pretty sure is illegal.
Not-for-profit doesn’t mean you don’t make money (or even profit). Charities are a bit different but I’m not sure they would qualify as a charity. I’m on the board of several not-for-profit corporations and they all have different approaches to raising money and how much. The main difference is an NFP is more regulated as to how much profit they can have before they lose the NFP status and the benefits it brings.
(Mega-) Churches in the US have been getting away with it for decades. Just say you're a ministry and you can get that bag tax free. It's horrible
When I first came out and told someone of my childhood sexual abuse (I was 28- abuse occurred starting at age 5), I started physically vomiting. It was like that for 3 years - every time I tried talking about it. I'm now 36, I received much healing over the years. I feel for Michael. My heart goes out to him. My abuse had zero to do with my parents or their actions (or lack thereof). In fact, when I told them it destroyed a piece of their soul - I literally could see part of them die and actually regretted telling them at first. I still wonder if it was the right thing, but it brought them so much understanding. I cannot imagine KNOWING that my parent(s) knew and did NOTHING. The thought of that makes my chest hurt!!
I didn't tell my mom things for so long because I knew how bad she would feel, I just never wanted to hurt her. I'm glad you have your story out now, as im sure so are you and your family, so the healing can really take hold. Much love from another survivor ♡
I'm still building the courage to tell my parents, im 26 years old. I hope i am as brave as you one day, I wish you so much peace.
As a mother, I’ve asked my son periodically if he was currently or ever sexually abused by anyone… I’d 100% want to know. Would it hurt me? Yes, for allowing it to happen, his pain… but I’d still want to know so I could get him help and get the person in prison where they belong.
I tried very hard to protect him (and teach him to protect himself and others), while still allowing him to make decisions and mistakes on his own. It’s a hard line to walk, and no parent is perfect.
I hope y’all get the peace you deserve
I wish you all healing and understanding on others' part ❤
So this is kind of off-topic but I was always confused by them bashing excess makeup while usually wearing the most noticeable and unflattering lipstick
Finally someone said it. I know everyone likes to say "you can critize their actions but you shouldn't make fun of their looks" etc but I genuinely don't give a fuck in some cases, their makeup looks like crap and they dress like a sears catalog from the 2000s
im of the unpopular opinion that if someone is provably morally bankrupt or terrible towards others then they've submitted themselves to be judged on all aspects including their appearance. i know it sounds bad but if this person is jurying others then a surface level hurt back is the least they deserve
@@sashkalembowitz203 honestly yeah i dont think people that do the same /have the same appearance will be that offended considering they defend eugenics and weird shit like that
@@portobeIIaThese 2 women believe in eugenics?
@@annaaquaro4575 agreeeeeeeed
I'm a long time follower of fundiesnark-type stories, and I've seen a LOT of content about girl defined. I just want to acknowledge the work this must have taken, bc there's a lot of info in here I'd never heard before. thank you so much!
For the Christian girlies, from a Christian:
It's okay to want to be beautiful and have self-esteem. It's okay to want to have partners and want to love them and kiss them and so forth.
Go at your pace, and remember that you are a daughter of The Almighty. And God does love his daughters.
God has bigger plans for you than being someone's wife ❤
You are loved. You are held. You are a precious daughter of God.
The church is toxic. You are still precious.
Christan W right here ❤
Not even particularly Christian, but still crying in a happy and loved sort of way. Good feelings too big, tears now. :')
I'm not Christian but I grew up religious. God will still love you even if you want to kiss someone. He will still love you even if you are not what these girls say you need to be
Thank you 😘
From someone outside of the USA, who's only heard about the "almost-fanatically religious southern white person " stereotype, these clips look like a fever dream to me.
I can't imagine living in a neighborhood with this ideology being a norm.
I understand. It is really bad, especially for school-age children. They are taking over from our Supreme Court to closing community libraries and more!
It’s actually dying pretty quickly, coming from someone who lives there. Gen Z and Gen alpha are starting to realize this was a bad idea.
Hell, I live in a blue state in the northeastern US and this is quite alien to me as well
Bruh im originally from Poland, Subcarpathian voivodenship which is extremely religious, and thats for Polish standards (the most religious and far right country in Europe), and ive NEVER seen such judgmental and, well, crazy people in my life... and my aunt used to be a nun, quitting only because of health reasons. Catholicism for all its faults is not even close in nuttery to American churches. Like i never heard priests, nuns or religious people in general claiming evolution isnt real or that Earth is 3000 years old or whatever... not once. Only heard these theories when i got internet. for Catholics, scientific discoveries are just ways of "getting us closer to understanding God and his creations". I would have NEVER guessed its the exact opposite in America...
As a Bible-Belt dweller in the southern US for most of my life, I can say... it looks very "Stepford Wives" -esque, & feels just as inauthentic to experience it.
I compare it to: secretly knowing your GPS has been leading you the wrong way for a while, but you're scared to RE-ROUTE on your own or ask someone for NEW directions, bc the WRONG WAY is all you know. & everyone around you is also wrong, but promising your destination is just up ahead.
As someone of Ukrainian heritage, Kristen adopting 2 boys from Ukraine and making them erase all ties to their culture makes my skin crawl.
Ukraine is a beautiful country with its own story and traditions, and there are enough people in the world trying to destroy that right now. Putin has been trying to do that since the fall of the Soviet Union. Slava Ukraini 💙💛
Can’t expect much else from Nazis
Slava Ukraini! Love from Portugal. ♥️
❤🇺🇦
Slava Ukraini 🇺🇦
Heróyam sláva! Love from Canada 🇨🇦
Thanks for sharing this video. I'd actually never heard of Girl Defined before this. Now I'm intrigued.
One thing that has always made me angry about the whole purity culture movement is its focus on the girls and young women, but not on boys or young men. If anything, they need it more than the women, as there's long been a double standard in the fundamental Christian groups. Women have to be the ones who stay at home and look after all the children and do all the housework, while training their daughters to do so as well, while the men get to go out and work outside the home and do what they want, despite a lot of those families saying otherwise. I've known a number of families with that kind of mindset, and a lot of them are the same. The boys get to go out and do all kinds of things - although not higher education, of course - while the girls have to stay home. It's such a shame that the children in these families are being raised with such a narrow point of view without being able to meet others who see things differently than them.
I've been a Christian since I was a very little girl, but I was always raised to accept anyone and everyone just as they are without prejudice. I was given a lot of opportunities and went to public school. I've turned out a lot less messed up than a lot of people raised in these super strict families, despite being exposed to things of the world. I'm very happy with the upbringing I had. I'm also single never married, and I'm super content and happy, something the Girl Defined movement and its kind would have you think isn't possible.
My cat Dublin and I say hi to Boofy. :)
I've been married 31 years. Only now would I even BEGIN to CONSIDER giving advice to young couples
I humbly and seriously ask for some advice, if you don't mind!
yeah, I'm 34 but my husband and I have been together on and off for 19 years now and I've had people ask relationship advice and I'm like oh hell no I'm the last person to give that kind of advice to😅
💯 same
Yeah what advice do you have for a couple about to be married?
@@cheeling794 But that's really good though because you've been through a lot of ups and downs. Humans love stories and when people ask for advice, it's because they see someone who's been through some life experiences they haven't and they want to know how those challenges were handled, even if it went badly, because that will give them insight and potential tools to call upon if they end up in similar situations.
Bethany and her husband made a video reviewing the barbie movie which was a very interesting watch.
I expected him to be way more critical or radical in his opinion on this movie like a lot of conservatives and Christians where online.
But he suprised me how openly and into what depth he analyzed it and also how untoxic his masculinity was about the concept of the movie. Which was a stark contrast to Bethany who also sometimes became very defensive but also mad at him?
It was one of these videos where I would have loved to see what their conversation behind closed door was because if thats what they are willingly post and showing on camera oh boy 😂
I kinda feel sad for him alot of times Bethany just shut down any interesting topic he brought up.
I was also surprised hearing about how much he wanted her to see it.
Do you have a link for that video please?
@@trishmarie5462 its on the Girl Defined youtube channel and the title is "Does my Husband like the Man-Bashing Barbie Movie?" its over 40 Minutes I watched it in 2x speed 😂
He literally looks like a hostage in all “their” videos. Like blink if you need help
@@_greymalkin_7377 I noticed how they talk about their marriage alot of times seems more like talking about a shared business. Idk if thats just how some marriages are I am not in one and dont have the desire to but it all sems so loveless? more a thing they are doing or have to do than something that comes out of their love for each other?
As a person with polish Ukrainian heritage, her saying that the two boys were adamant and excited about getting new American names…just rubs me the wrong way on SO many levels.
Just admit that their Slavic names were probably hard for you to learn how to properly pronounce, and that you want the appearance of an all American white family while sacrificing those boys’ identities.
Also there’s a chance that the boys might have been brought up orthodox, so she ABSOLUTELY will indoctrinate them into her own Christian beliefs and teach them that their belief is wrong.
I feel so sorry for them man, I grew up in an environment with really negative stereotypes about Slavs, and I just know that them erasing the boys’ heritage will make them internalise these harmful falsehoods, because they’re old enough to actively feel it happening
Edit: Her saying that they were oh so excited also perpetuates this idea that America is soooo much better than their homeland, and that these boys should feel privileged to be Americans now because obviously they are now in the one country everyone else idealises
Like…this America centric mindset is soooo icky and xenophobic
Yeah, that whole situation is a mess and a half, and don't even get me started on the stereotypes about us...
plott twist, when the kids grow up,they either change back to their original religion become orthodox priests, become an absolute Rebel or get famous
yeah i really have an issue with all these uber christian white wasp-y families adopting children from foreign countries always just feels a bit icky, especially because they always ignore the kids' origin cultures. and they were already old enough where they'll remember and understand what's happening too, poor boys will need therapy one day to figure that mess out.
Well it was (and still is) built on a dream 🤷🏽♀️ and that’s exactly what it always will be: the American DREAM. Even most born and bred Americans can’t reach it. I think it’s time to value being an individual who can afford a house and bills first and foremost bc even that is getting impossible
Maybe they just wanted the boys to feel more integrated into the family.
I'm still hoping Bethany's husband escapes and comes out of the closet.
Me too. It’s awful that he’s been made to feel the way he has 😢
I saw them in person once waiting for a restaurant and they looked so uncomfortable together. my dad thought he looked gay and he knew nothing about the online stuff 😭
@@bepbopbrooke right?! In that first vid where she introduced him I was like "Well, what could possibly go wrong?!" Apparently he's been through conversion therapy. Poor guy.
I don’t think we should assume anyone’s sexuality. He has said he isn’t gay and never went through conversion therapy and we should take him at his word.
@@Alyse_bell I agree! This shouldnt be a popular comment cuz we don't know someones sexuality until they say so if they even want to say so. 👍🏽👍🏽
That Christianity "pure" coaching almost broke meee! I was kidnapped and raped as a 20 year old virgin and afterwards i blamed myself. I thought "wow I'm no longer "pure", so there goes all my chances of getting married or anyone wanting me" . Tht mibdset is effing toxic. Not saying dnt wait to marriage, but the idea tht being "pure" is the only way to be in a relationship almost killed me literally.
I’m so sorry that happened to you!!
@@madisonemily4083 thanx luvii 💕❤️
Something I learned this year at a summer camp for spiritual growth was in a course on dating and marriage: "Waiting for marriage is great, but purity culture has made an idol out of purity. It has distorted the concept of purity so it has become the greatest thing a woman can offer her husband. This is unhealthy, and perpetuates a double-standard because while women are shamed for being 'impure,' it's almost so expected of men to the point that we ignore it in them, when we should be holding men to the same standard of purity as women are."
The fact that God literally tells us not to make idols and not to serve any other god before Him should tell us everything we need to know about how toxic purity culture is. Because God still wanted us, even at our worst. He literally died for us. So why would we ever tell a little girl that her value as a wife is so fragile that it's entirely dependent on her supposed "purity?" Instead, we should be telling them, and constantly reminding them, that they are loved by God, and that they are beautifully and wonderfully made no matter what has happened to them or what they've gone through.
@hannahmills9959 ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love this. Every word of it. It took me sooo long to stop blaming myself for what happened. My ex husband even made it hard for me by asking "what were you wearing.. maybe u shouldn't smile so much or dress pretty bcuz it sends the wrong message ". Like what the actual heck. I agree we need to do away with this way of thinking because I can't even see myself as a victim because Christianity tells me not to.
Thanks for you message luvii ❤️
@@yuhsabitvI am so glad you stop believing that nonsense. You are precious, beautiful not only in the eyes of god but in our eyes and in reality. We are defined by what we do and not what happens to us. You’re a beautiful angel of light. Let it shine
Absolutely devastated by Michael's story. I really really hope he gets everything he needs to heal as best he can from what happened to him. As a survivor of child SA myself, it sometimes seems like a never-ending process to move on from what happened, and I wish him nothing but support and love.
Love and support for you as well!!
I like to believe that charging $169 dollars for her sex course was not coincidental 😂
😂
$420.69 for the additional "how to give gluck gluck the Christian way (Head giving techniques approved by God)"