How to Stop Saying "Um", "Like", and "You Know"
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- Опубликовано: 10 июн 2024
- Many of us use filler words like "um", "like", and "you know" without even realizing it. Whether you're giving a presentation or talking to your friends, overusing filler phrases can make you seem less intelligent or less confident. It's sad that such a superficial thing can distract from an otherwise compelling message, but it's just human nature.
In this video, I share 13 different tips for how to stop using filler words like "um," "like," "you know," and more.
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This has helped me stop using the word “like” so much because I’m a teenager in Southern California where everyone says “like” every 10 seconds lmao
Its funny how its considered cool. In my state, a sentence isn't complete without it:( I didn't used to speak that way and now i cant seem to stop, this will definitely curb that!
I only say like when referring something near or similar to what I was saying with example because I can find the right term to put in the sentence but I don't usually use that, only when I can't find the right term to use.
i could not handle it...
Every 2 secs
way more often than 10 seconds = /
I CAN'T STOP SAYING BRUH
True
Stop fucking saying it.
Bruh
same bruh
Facts bruh
I was telling my best friend today about a young lady I know. She uses "like" a lot. He went on to inform me that I say "you know" as much. I had no idea.
now, you know
Here are the tips Pao:
(1) Get comfortable with silence;
(2) Tape yourself;
(3) REPLACE FILLER WORDS WITH "PERIOD" OR "PAUSE" (I suggest doing this in your head from the start);
(4) Stop and take a breath;
(5) Make a list of the filler words you use most often;
(6) The "uh" bell (get someone to ring a bell every time you use a filler word);
(7) Chunk your information (break your speech into ideas rather than words, once you finish an idea you should know what the next concept you want to get across is);
(8) Make eye contact;
(9) Take a deep breath and calm down;
(10) Keep your hands out of your pockets;
(11) Keep your sentences short;
(12) PREPARE, prepare, and then prepare some more;
(13) You are your own worst critic (but not if you don't even realise you use an inordinate number of filler words).
@@prowlinality stahp lol
That was kind of you, thanks!
i do often use maybe rather than like, and you know
Also, try say instead of SORRY, THANK YOU. Change your sentences from negative to positive. Ex. “”Sorry, I am late”, say, “Thank you for patiently waiting for me” :)
Interesting! that's a good way to keep it positive. I like it!
Thank you I broke your favorite plate
;(
TheLosersaccount , Thank you for not being mad that I broke your favorite plate.
@@MariyaLoveyah ok thank you that I got it wrong
TheLosersaccount , thank you for correcting me. ;)
he said PERIODT
😭😭
Arige S ok ? 💀
Ricky T 🤩
😭😭
😂 I was not expecting this.
I can’t stop saying “ya know.” I have been fortunate to do well in my career now after a lot of challenges, but this remains a major downfall for me. Love the article and feel more confident about how I can overcome this. Thank you!!
Same
I have been trying to avoid doing it for years, and it's hard. It's infectious, and when you hear a lot of people doing it, you may find yourself doing it without even thinking about it especially if you heard it all your life as a child. It's cultural and habitual. What's more, many may think it odd or 'stupid' anyway to be concerned about it so much.
you're right--it's definitely cultural. I've noticed that Irish people "EM" instead of UM. And I'm sure there's tons of other variances in different cultures/languages.
I sometimes still use it when I think of what I'm going to say
My RUclips recommendations are *roasting* me
Also annoying is the encroaching use of "for me, personally..." in conversations, videos and interviews.
Totally agree!
When I did a reading at my grandmothers funeral I made sure I did little pauses and when you do little pauses it slows down your cadence
yes, that's true! Nice work.
I thought I was the only one who used, "John Stamos," as a filler word. Good to know it is a common condition.
Brov
I have a friend and every sentence contains " you know " I started counting their recurrence and in one phrase he repeated " you know " six times!
Does that mean you say "John Stamos" at the end of a sentence?
@@AzureTank776 haha I know right. That will be very funny to hear someone say that.
@@valerieobrien5521 I have that problem too 😭
A couple of months ago I was practicing not using “um, like”and etc before an audit at my job. We were practicing weeks before the audit, when I didn’t know what to say I stayed silent/paused and my coworkers were saying how it was awkward that I was doing that and bad. I was like what do you want me to say? Um Like um um um. Shit, you can never win with some people.
Those are all the words that i say and i kinda feel annoyed by it
So um.. like i actually need this.. you know.. the video
I’m guilty of saying “I think “ at the beginning of a sentence.
I'm the same, even if I'm sure of what I'm saying.
I think I’m guilty of that too
@jaehyun lived in america for 4 years ok 4 years guesses:
Thanks for the video! I noticed I use quite a few filler words when I do live videos. Keeping the message brief has helped me the most. It makes it easier to narrow down and practice what I really want to say.
Appreciate you come back to RUclips Kyle! Great video too
Um, like, you know, and literally are my top 4. Need to eliminate these to sound more confident and communicate better with future patients and colleagues.
Tip #2: "record yourself speaking..."
Me, a RUclipsr: _thats... why I'm here_
The Gaming Burglar 😂 same
Me too and I use "you know"alot
Thanks you for positing this. I don't mind hearing a young person using "like" or "you know", but it is creeping into public radio broadcasting and is particularly irritating. I have also become aware of the very fast speech rate of younger people, who seem to stumble over words as their speech rate exceeds their random access. A false egalitarianism has persuaded many educators that grammar and clear expression are products of archaic elitism, which is just plain ridiculous. Language is one of the greatest of human gift and the ability to express ideas with clarity a thing to be valued.
Uhmm... I sort of enjoyed, you know, the video!
This is a great video - one I’ll be sharing with my staff. They are awesome professionals and the filler words are probably the biggest trouble spot during our presentations. Thanks for the concrete, actionable tips.
All of this resonated with me. Thank you for sharing. I didn’t realise using filler words is born of low confidence but I do tend to agree.
Agreed, I get some anxiety or don’t want to say something stupid so I start speaking too quickly which makes the likes flow so easily.
Most underrated channel guys. Nice work Mr. Kyle
thanks Varun!
Caught myself using "I mean" quite a lot, which I guess is similar to "like." Got an interview coming up. In an effort to silence "um," having it front and center in my minds eye, my efforts to avoid it slowed me down, and made me think a little more about what I was saying, something of a gatekeeper for dialogue that would other wise just come pouring out without much thought at all!
I noticed when I was about 14 I said "you know" a lot and luckily at that age I found it very easy to make a conscious effort to stop saying it. However when I got older I found I was using "like" quite a lot, not anywhere as much as I said "you know" when I was younger, but enough for it to be noticeable. I've gotten much better at not saying "like" but I found when I was older it was a much more difficult habit to kick.
my science teacher is always telling me that i should stop saying "uh" and "um" so much, i totally agree so i'm finally doing something about it
A science teacher could offer to help with an electric shock device.
@@danielmocsny5066 I kill people who say um a lot
i have been talked over and interrupted so many times that i have been conditioned to use filler words so no one starts talking during the silence in between
I tend to use “you know” or “see”.
A word I find overused is the word “so”, especially when answering a question. It seems many people will begin their answer with the word “so”. Pay attention to someone being interviewed or answering a question at a presentation, they most often will begin by saying “so, . . .” What’s your thoughts on this?
What's the best way to overcome that? The only technique that I think could prevent that would be repeating the question slowly so you have time to think.
It’s a filler word in the same way. Using “so” is preventing silence while thinking of the response. Embrace the pause, take a breath - that will make you look serious before answering the question!
@@cloyphishs1049 Not only is the word 'so' a filler word, 'So' is a summarizing word. It doesn't fit at the beginning of a sentence.
"In other words"
I feel like even confident people being answers with "so". I don't feel like it really detracts from the message in my opinion
I catch myself saying like too much and annoy myself, but then I get in my head too much and don’t articulate my point well. I definitely notice that my speech is almost coming out too fast so I’ve tried slowing down what I’m saying.
I love this video. PERIODT. I'll give these tips a try, thanks!
Periodt Pooh
This was super helpful. I host a podcast called Meet Them Mondays and I was horrified at my UM’s and LIKES. Thank you 🙏🏽
Glad you found it helpful! :-)
Nice....I like that you provided lots of tips. I think anyone can find at least one or two they can work on. Well done. Thanks for sharing. 🙏
I like videos like this. Concrete examples contrast with bad vs good. I hope people would make quality content like this. Thank you!
You are a really charismatic man, Kyle. Thanks for another great video of yours!
thanks so much, Natalie!
Great tips!
We speak like those we associate with. Recognize what is influencing your speech and make an active determination to adopt a general attitude of either rejection or endorsement… your brain will subconsciously and automatically install filters or amplifiers based on what your judgment was regarding the speech characteristics of those you associate with. Speaking extemporaneously is a dying art. Why? Because it is a brutal test of quick thinking and communication skill. Use of clichés and filler words is inversely proportional to the sheer size and degree of command of VOCABULARY. People subconsciously equate an apparently limited vocabulary with a CAUSAL limited intelligence. The presence of both is usually not mere coincidence. This phenomenon can be a very useful tool for appearing smarter than one really is. I learned a long time ago that I can compensate for my limited intelligence by cultivating a large vocabulary and prosecuting it every time I speak or write ANYTHING. Reaching the ability to do this in extemporaneous speech is often what wins or loses debates. It has way more influence than an actual command of the subject. Debate is a dying art also. There used to be debate teams at public schools that competed at U.I.L-sanctioned contests. There were even slide-rule competitions. To me, the easiest, fastest, and most efficient way to cultivate the effective command of a large vocabulary is to read … continually, voraciously read … and what type of material doesn’t really matter … what matters is the fact that it is intentional, well thought out language… authors don’t write “uh, um, ya know?, knowwhat’msayin?, right?” - trash verbage such as that. That’s number one, but simply growing up in a household where both parents had masters degrees in English or English Education didn’t hurt either. Number disagreement between subject and predicate, or other errors in grammar were simply not tolerated, and subject to instant correction. Sometimes I thought if I were to say “me and her has accidentally drank poison…”, the trim reckoning of the grammar and blue-collar word choice would take precedence over the urgency of the statement’s meaning… “no, that would be “she and I have accidentally ingested a toxic substance … “ - ok? … I’ll call 911 …”
Great content, boss. Thank you for this. You just earned my subscription.
I really like your channel and tips you provide for daily life. I used your video for educational purposes in my school too. Thank you.
you're very welcome, Mariya! I'm glad you found it helpful.
I have never, used many "Um's" or other filler words too much. However, there's a RUclipsr who gives great reviews of television and new films. During the pandemic, and out of boredom. I counted 91 UM'S in his review and in another review he had over 100 ums. It made me more aware, of how many times I use any type of word fillers.
Thank you so much for this helpful video.
This idea of using "period " helped me a great deal. Thank you from India!
I found this very helpful. Especially with the period/pause and 3 seconds pause. I listen to my VMs and noticed how much mmms I use. I had no idea before then. I also notice that I do it more when I’m in my head and rushing to get the words out before forgetting with my ADHD.
Very helpful. Thanks!
Me (while preparing for job interviews): I need to do something about my habit of saying "y'know" and "like" every sentence
Kyle: I got you
My newest fillers are “that’s the thing” and “funnily enough”. It’s so frustrating because I’m very aware when I’ve used them and get so wound up lol
The weather guy on my local TV station says "Y'know" in every talk break. I wish I could call him up and tell him "If I knew, I wouldn't need you, and then you would be out of a job".
Another good technique I do to eliminate filler words in free-form speech is to imagine the ideas streaming across my field of view like a "crawl" on a TV screen. Then I just read it with my mind's eye. I do a radio show on which I talk about the music in a free-form style, relating artist information and chart positions. Some information is written down in front of me, but the ad-lib is conversational sounding but devoid of um, like, and you know. Listeners react favorably.
Need to know for this for my interview
just amazing, glad that i found this
My kids and I enjoy your topic and how you present them. Subscribing now ☺️
Thank you for this video I really appreciate it I am currently trying to learn how to not say the word init anymore as people around me are getting very angry with me and my opinions have stopped mattering recently so this video has helped me come through to stop my habit of using this word. I appreciate it very much thank you
My struggle is using the word “like”. I noticed it when my five year old started picking it up and saying “like” a lot. So now I correct him and make him restart the sentence and I try to be conscience of when I use it!
Good for you! It's a terrible habit, one of my absolute worst pet peeves. I can't even focus on what people who overuse it are saying.
It’s so insane that you can be conscious of saying filler words so often, but have a hard time stopping yourself. Like kills me in conversations as well. I really just try to slow down my speech and throughly think about what I’m going to say before it comes out of my mouth
Very good. Good concepts well presented.Get comfortable with silence. The most powerful thing is to stop speaking. Wait. It makes the audience pay attention.
There are so many ZOOM presentations now, and often with people not used to speaking publicly. How do you kindly let someone know that they are using filler words to distraction?
My family plays a really fun game on long boring road trips, you get a random topic (cars, global worming, Africa, Bluey etc) and have to talk on that topic for 1-2 minutes without saying "um" or "ur"
It gets really fun watching people say "um" then try to pretend they were just going to say "umbrella" 😂
I'm not a guy, but this was very helpful for me. Thanks!
I had an English teacher in highschool that said "um" so frequently that several of us would make a tally mark every time he said it to see how many times he said it in a class period. It was very distracting.
I just realized I've been using filter words when I was doing a RUclips video. Thank you so much for your help
I use "you know" as a way of acknowledging the listeners understanding of the subject & not trying to come across as "I'm smarter than you". I use it as a sign of respect but I definitely use it too much and I didn't even realise it until it was pointed out & I watched a training video that I presented 🤭
Great presentation. I start a conversation with No, or No,No, No. This presentation is very helpful.
I love this video. Right now the excessive use of "I mean" is driving me crazy, especially when it comes from well educated people who write for a living.
Thanks for the great tips.
This is a great video.! Period 👏🏽
Mine are “so” and “um.” Drives me crazy all the time to hear myself doing it. I try to consciously change it, but it’s very difficult. Going to try to say “pause” in my head instead.
I watched this video weeks ago and I come back today to say THANK YOU! IT WORKED! I'M SO HAPPY! THANK YOU AGAIN!
What worked the best?
@@maritzanavarrete5043 silence and stopping to breath, at first I felt weird but people actually didn't even notice what was I doing and over time ( now for instance) there are some filler words that I don't use at all anymore
Thank you for your reply. This is day one for me.
@@maritzanavarrete5043 Good luck !!!
I'm constantly saying 'You know'. I had eliminated it but now doing more online videos I noticed it is back. When doing a podcast if I pause and don't say anything the other guests butt in and I don't get to finish my point so I think it is unconscious but can't stop it
Thank you very much 💕
This was so helpful, thank you. I've noticed I say "Um" a lot in my videos and wanting to change that. Let's see how much of an improvement your techniques make :)
thank fuck.
Quit swearing.
This guy thoroughly and successfully communicated everything he had to say without once dropping an f bomb or some other course language. When you were a child cursing was impressionable, adults who do not are impressionable.
Excellent.
whenever i hear people saying "like" a lot it annoys me. now i realise that i do that too..a lot
i have terrible adhd and i talk so fast that filler words just help me talk smoother but they make what i’m saying sound dumb when i’m actually pretty smart
I'm learning thank you. 😇
I will "uhh" quite often but I recognize it so often times I close my eyes and take a second to collect what I'm saying slowly and get it out in a coherent way. Although that can slip into another problem I have where I drag out some words a little but that's less pervasive than "uhh"
But doesn’t that make you seem slow or mentally retarded
Thank you for making this video and you are 100% correct. I think a lot of people today need to take a speech class and it will really be helpful. Truthfully I’m sick and tired of seeing the words amazing and epic being used. But the filler word Um needs to be 86’d for sure. Lack of articulation I guess?
Thankyou SOO much.
This is great information. It's ironic that the twangy background music was the real distraction in this video. Filler music?
Also subscribed, like your channel and what it promotes.
I wasn't very aware of the number of times I say "you know" in my videos. I even got a comment on it. Now I am editing my next video on a personal development course review and I even got annoyed by it.
This was me just now, I was editing a video and realised “you know” is a filler I used after every sentence 😭😭
Thank you 😊
I say "not too sure" alot I need to eliminate that from myself. Thanks for the tips Kyle. 👍🏻
Very helpful
I am english learner. So speaking is very difficult for me. I always say umm ahh or you know too much. Thanks for this helpfull video
You know
This video is criminally underwatched
“Right?”
Great video! One great tip I am trying is to just close my mouth everytime i make a point, literally close my mouth haha its awkward at first but it works!
This is very helpful and you're so funny!! 🤣
I do a lot of accents, dialects and “stereotype voices” for comedic purposes and I’ve (and my English teacher unfortunately) found myself saying “like” waaay too much which I REALLY hate since I’m usually able to construct nice well said sentences that have a lot of ethos, but it just loses that when I keep saying like after like every word like y’know?
@Max haha thank you. One of my all time favourite game series.
I recently realized that I use the words um, sorta, and you know ALOT. So thank you for this video and advice!
A lot.*
interesting! thank you 🌹
I believe as adults we rarely heard filler words socially and definitely professionally 20 years ago and now everyone is using filler words and sounds. Is it because we are becoming less social, intelligent, verbally interactive with constant technological use to achieve these throughout the day?
This lady on the news today while being interviewed in her office kept saying “uh” a lot and it pissed me off a lot. I really don’t get it how some people just say it. It’s stupid. That’s the reason I searched for this. It’s unbelieveable to me how many people talk like this.
I can't stop doing it- I could litterally have everything planned but the thing is when I'm talking with people who I don't know very well or sometimes even people I know very well I get anxiety so I just kindof you know like blank out
My problem is I say “you know” after every damn sentence and I catch myself doing it and I relize I’m probably annoying the hell out of my friends and family cause every time I say “you know” I say it to get a response back like “right” or “yeah” but I always get a silent response
Practice, practice, practice speaking in front of people. Look for reasons and opportunities to speak in front of multiple people at a time, starting with friends and family and then broadening out. Keep in mind that EVERYBODY and I mean EVERYBODY is just a person, no bigger or better than you.
In terms of filler words what's helped me (and I was a TERRIBLE offender for years) is to try to think concisely, directly and in whole sentences. Thinking and talking at the same time almost guarantees that you'll use filler words. Try not to use qualifiers too much either even if you want to show subtlety when making a point. Large crowds especially need clear, simple, memorable messages. Also keep in mind that many people have a short attention span so trying to fill in points at length during conversation is often counterproductive anyway and DEFINITELY leads to many pauses and filler words as you're trying to keep the floor.
Oh my lord , I got into sales recently and have been reviewing my calls . I've been saying um 2 million times and realizing this is probably not serving me . thanks for this video !!!!!
Thank you like so much that is like really..umm..like good advise! Like thank you!
Thanks this is helpful I'll try to keep these in mind.
Also I tend to say "listen" before making a point that I feel may not be believed or received well, like:
"Listen, I get what you're saying but..."
Or
"Listen, I think...."
It's interesting I was just called out on this (probably for the hundredth time) and right after that I see this video in my recommendations....RUclips knows me too well apparently 0_0
People saying "you know" is one of my biggest pet peeves. I didnt realize though thay it was a filler word though. It always bothered me because I found it to be presumptuous and didnt like being told what I know haha
I didn't expect the video to be this much helpful , but honestly , thanks really , these are amazing tips !
Um, like, uh are my enemies right now.
but wouldn't saying period and pause just make you replace "um" with those words?