I like a guy ho is constantly showing interest in me but doesn’t make a move. Until I finally told him that I feel comfortable with him and I’d like to hang out with him sometimes. He was so excited and happy when I said that. But then again went back to not making any move. It’s been a long time and I feel frustrated with him. I have so much feelings for him that is unbelievable where they come from. Because we haven’t actually been involved. Lately I’m just thinking of giving him up and moving on.
Why didn't she just ask him? Women constantly talk about communication, yet they don't know how to do it with men. She didn't realize that the hand rejection was the most important thing. That told him she wasn't comfortable, so now he's waiting for her to drop the handkerchief. He can't read her mind. She's lucky he's still around, he must really like her. Next time they're out, she should take his hand.
Dealing with someone like this; seems shy in person but he ADORES me. I like this: if he presents as confident, yet gives you a hard time in terms of effort through the phone and stuff, then he is disinterested. If he presents more shy, chances are he’s more passive.
This video is so timely because I am dealing with this. I've had this guy for years who has just been a friend because he won't make a move. He's very shy to the point where he would hide if someone came close. Eventually, he started getting to know me and would be more open and share his life story but wouldn't ask me out. In the past, he would grab my hand, and hug me, and would just stare at me and when I looked would smile and wave. I gave up on him for a few years and kept him strictly as a friend. He ended up moving due to financial issues (he lost his business and moved 4 hours away to restart his career) We recently reconnected and he will text me and flirt but at the same time would get nervous and then not text or phone for a few days. I am going to visit him in July and see what happens. This guy is the only guy I ever met who didn't let me know either way if he likes me. People would tell me I need to be more reactive but I'm very shy too but have gotten better. Also, he's been trying to talk me into moving to where he lives now.
Best advice! Thank you! All the advice I ever hear online says if a man wants you he'll make it happen, but I've recently been seeing a guy who has made it very clear that he likes me and that he's really afraid to mess things up and that he overthinks a lot. His behavior to me sometimes seems wishy washy, but I do think he just needs a little push/encouragement from me sometimes too. He is divorced. His wife cheated on him and they were together for 9 years from the time he was 21 until he was 30. So I did feel like he was kind of an exception to the whole "if he wanted to he would" thing. I feel like he is really inexperienced since he was with one person in his entire 20s and I feel like his confidence took a hit after being cheated on. He is really sweet, always wants to pay for dates, always wants me to be around his friends, is interested in my friends, has made future plans for us to go to his brother in laws wedding and to be on a volleyball team for the summer so I know he's interested, but he rarely sets up dates, doesn't text me every day and does not touch me very much lol. I try to sometimes just place my hand on his arm or leg while talking to him to help him get more comfortable lol. Your perspective cleared up the situation for me though. He's very shy. I think he's interested and I just need to continue to encourage him and show interest and he'll be fine! Thank you! 😊
We hated for 4 years 6 years ago abd recently reconnected. I went on a 10 day vacation stuff a girlfriend, have been home 10 days. He hasn't asked me out once, hasn't called, hasnt asked me one thing about my trip other than how was your trip
I’ve been seeing this guy for a month now. He’s an introvert and a bit shy. On our first date he held my hand and then since he couldn’t get an Uber back, I dropped him off at his place. We kissed and said goodnight. He reached out for the kiss and I kissed him back. He appreciated that I too, wanted to kiss him and told me that. We have great time together in person, and the sex is great, but he doesn’t communicate much over texts and we see each other once a week or 10 days- he has young kids 50-50. I don’t feel like he’s making an effort to get to know me, and when I try to know more about him he shuts it down. I’m starting to get annoyed and frustrated because I want to feel like we are progressing but he doesn’t seem to be interested in doing so, and over the phone we tried once and it was not great. I really like the guy and I don’t usually tolerate this level of disinvestment. I would like to build something meaningful with him but I keep doubting myself if I should give him more chances, because I have given guys the benefit of the doubt before and they always let me down. How can I address this with him without scaring him away? I already told him once that his lack of communication says to me that he’s not interested and he said that this is not true. He is interested. I don’t want to keep doing that. It’s sad. I finally meet someone I really like and his actions and words aren’t matching.
This is just in my opinion, and I’m no expert, but i feel like maybe his actions aren’t as animated as we girls hope guy’s actions could be. Sometimes guy’s actions are hard to read and therefore they may feel a certain way that we don’t know they’re feeling. In your case, he might actually really be invested and interested in you because if he’s willing to show up and give effort into spending time with you even if you guys don’t see each other much, that shows he’s receptive. Sometimes guys are bland and they don’t seem like they reciprocate the same energy that we do is because we girls are sometimes more animated and look into depth of small things instead of seeing the big picture. Communication is key, so if you’re ever confused about his body language and the intentions and messages he’s trying to send, don’t hesitate to ask respectfully and nicely to confirm if what you’re wondering is true. It doesn’t harm you to ask for your curiosity and it helps benefit you from self-conflicting and contemplating whether he is interested or not. As you also mentioned, you said he seems to be introverted and you guys have known each other for a month, or maybe a little longer now whenever or if ever you see this, if you want a serious relationship, in my opinion, patience is key since maybe he’s a shy person and he doesn’t know or feels nervous to make a move. It doesn’t hurt for us to make a first move sometimes. Although, if you’re the only one making the moves and he doesn’t reciprocate, that’s when you want to reconsider if things are going well. Hopefully this helps and if u have any questions, I don’t mind trying to answer them here hahaha :)
7 dates!!! WTF? I can't believe he went out with her beyond a second date if he wasn't sure if she was interested in him. My time and money are too valuable to date a woman beyond a second date if she hasn't at least kissed me
This is really good Evan because it can be hard to know if someone is interested or not and personality plays a huge part. So what if I met a guy like this and I am a little shy (and tend to attract alphas) what happens then lol? We are both being passive lol.
I am an alpha, so it's hard to relate to such a man, but I can say that I have had aggressive women who actually have initiated physical contact on a first date, and I really liked it, because, despite being an alpha, I still recognize that I'm risking rejection if I make the first move on a date. So, I recommend that you do something like hold his hand when you're walking and see what happens. It might give him a real green light to make a move on you. 25 years ago, I was just starting a first date with a beautiful older woman that I had picked up on at a club, so nothing had happened physically yet. I was taking her to a concert, and the moment we got out of my car, SHE (unexpectedly) reached for my hand. This immediately put me at ease and led to heavy make out sessions while we danced that night and a great second date. (She, unfortunately, ghosted me afterwards, but I digress)
You put him in the position to succeed - plan a date that ends up back at your place after a few glasses of wine. I believe I've got a video answering that very question in Love U.
@@evanmarckatz yes!!! Put him in a position to succeed is a perfect plan! That is basically how I've always felt when a woman makes the first move on me, even if it's as simple as holding my hand before I've held her's.
Hi thanks for the advice. I also have a sister who has a shy boyfriend but the guy has not called or texted he says he is ever busy when she asks why. They have dated each other for two months should she leave him i need some advice.
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I like a guy ho is constantly showing interest in me but doesn’t make a move. Until I finally told him that I feel comfortable with him and I’d like to hang out with him sometimes. He was so excited and happy when I said that. But then again went back to not making any move. It’s been a long time and I feel frustrated with him. I have so much feelings for him that is unbelievable where they come from. Because we haven’t actually been involved. Lately I’m just thinking of giving him up and moving on.
he seems like you to confess to him
Why didn't she just ask him? Women constantly talk about communication, yet they don't know how to do it with men. She didn't realize that the hand rejection was the most important thing. That told him she wasn't comfortable, so now he's waiting for her to drop the handkerchief. He can't read her mind. She's lucky he's still around, he must really like her. Next time they're out, she should take his hand.
Dealing with someone like this; seems shy in person but he ADORES me.
I like this: if he presents as confident, yet gives you a hard time in terms of effort through the phone and stuff, then he is disinterested. If he presents more shy, chances are he’s more passive.
I love how you broke that down, a very loving and helpful analysis, thank you!
This video is so timely because I am dealing with this. I've had this guy for years who has just been a friend because he won't make a move. He's very shy to the point where he would hide if someone came close. Eventually, he started getting to know me and would be more open and share his life story but wouldn't ask me out. In the past, he would grab my hand, and hug me, and would just stare at me and when I looked would smile and wave. I gave up on him for a few years and kept him strictly as a friend. He ended up moving due to financial issues (he lost his business and moved 4 hours away to restart his career) We recently reconnected and he will text me and flirt but at the same time would get nervous and then not text or phone for a few days. I am going to visit him in July and see what happens. This guy is the only guy I ever met who didn't let me know either way if he likes me. People would tell me I need to be more reactive but I'm very shy too but have gotten better. Also, he's been trying to talk me into moving to where he lives now.
Why would he want you to move with him yet he had never actually stated that he likes you? That's not shy, that's weird.
Hard to figure out if just in text phase!
Best advice! Thank you! All the advice I ever hear online says if a man wants you he'll make it happen, but I've recently been seeing a guy who has made it very clear that he likes me and that he's really afraid to mess things up and that he overthinks a lot. His behavior to me sometimes seems wishy washy, but I do think he just needs a little push/encouragement from me sometimes too. He is divorced. His wife cheated on him and they were together for 9 years from the time he was 21 until he was 30. So I did feel like he was kind of an exception to the whole "if he wanted to he would" thing. I feel like he is really inexperienced since he was with one person in his entire 20s and I feel like his confidence took a hit after being cheated on. He is really sweet, always wants to pay for dates, always wants me to be around his friends, is interested in my friends, has made future plans for us to go to his brother in laws wedding and to be on a volleyball team for the summer so I know he's interested, but he rarely sets up dates, doesn't text me every day and does not touch me very much lol. I try to sometimes just place my hand on his arm or leg while talking to him to help him get more comfortable lol. Your perspective cleared up the situation for me though. He's very shy. I think he's interested and I just need to continue to encourage him and show interest and he'll be fine! Thank you! 😊
I did the exact same thing. I think you diagnosed this perfectly.
So helpfull!! I am in this situation right now!!
He is a very nice guy.
I know its a different approach with him than i normal though off.
never make a guy do anything
We hated for 4 years 6 years ago abd recently reconnected. I went on a 10 day vacation stuff a girlfriend, have been home 10 days. He hasn't asked me out once, hasn't called, hasnt asked me one thing about my trip other than how was your trip
Thank you Evan,
Have a beautiful weekend!
This is light 💡 inside the tunnel 🥰
I’ve been seeing this guy for a month now. He’s an introvert and a bit shy. On our first date he held my hand and then since he couldn’t get an Uber back, I dropped him off at his place. We kissed and said goodnight. He reached out for the kiss and I kissed him back. He appreciated that I too, wanted to kiss him and told me that. We have great time together in person, and the sex is great, but he doesn’t communicate much over texts and we see each other once a week or 10 days- he has young kids 50-50. I don’t feel like he’s making an effort to get to know me, and when I try to know more about him he shuts it down. I’m starting to get annoyed and frustrated because I want to feel like we are progressing but he doesn’t seem to be interested in doing so, and over the phone we tried once and it was not great. I really like the guy and I don’t usually tolerate this level of disinvestment. I would like to build something meaningful with him but I keep doubting myself if I should give him more chances, because I have given guys the benefit of the doubt before and they always let me down. How can I address this with him without scaring him away? I already told him once that his lack of communication says to me that he’s not interested and he said that this is not true. He is interested. I don’t want to keep doing that.
It’s sad. I finally meet someone I really like and his actions and words aren’t matching.
This is just in my opinion, and I’m no expert, but i feel like maybe his actions aren’t as animated as we girls hope guy’s actions could be. Sometimes guy’s actions are hard to read and therefore they may feel a certain way that we don’t know they’re feeling. In your case, he might actually really be invested and interested in you because if he’s willing to show up and give effort into spending time with you even if you guys don’t see each other much, that shows he’s receptive. Sometimes guys are bland and they don’t seem like they reciprocate the same energy that we do is because we girls are sometimes more animated and look into depth of small things instead of seeing the big picture. Communication is key, so if you’re ever confused about his body language and the intentions and messages he’s trying to send, don’t hesitate to ask respectfully and nicely to confirm if what you’re wondering is true. It doesn’t harm you to ask for your curiosity and it helps benefit you from self-conflicting and contemplating whether he is interested or not. As you also mentioned, you said he seems to be introverted and you guys have known each other for a month, or maybe a little longer now whenever or if ever you see this, if you want a serious relationship, in my opinion, patience is key since maybe he’s a shy person and he doesn’t know or feels nervous to make a move. It doesn’t hurt for us to make a first move sometimes. Although, if you’re the only one making the moves and he doesn’t reciprocate, that’s when you want to reconsider if things are going well. Hopefully this helps and if u have any questions, I don’t mind trying to answer them here hahaha :)
Really helpful, great perspective!
I think I hurt someone’s feelings 😢really bad
Awesome advice!
7 dates!!! WTF? I can't believe he went out with her beyond a second date if he wasn't sure if she was interested in him. My time and money are too valuable to date a woman beyond a second date if she hasn't at least kissed me
This is really good Evan because it can be hard to know if someone is interested or not and personality plays a huge part. So what if I met a guy like this and I am a little shy (and tend to attract alphas) what happens then lol? We are both being passive lol.
I am an alpha, so it's hard to relate to such a man, but I can say that I have had aggressive women who actually have initiated physical contact on a first date, and I really liked it, because, despite being an alpha, I still recognize that I'm risking rejection if I make the first move on a date. So, I recommend that you do something like hold his hand when you're walking and see what happens. It might give him a real green light to make a move on you. 25 years ago, I was just starting a first date with a beautiful older woman that I had picked up on at a club, so nothing had happened physically yet. I was taking her to a concert, and the moment we got out of my car, SHE (unexpectedly) reached for my hand. This immediately put me at ease and led to heavy make out sessions while we danced that night and a great second date. (She, unfortunately, ghosted me afterwards, but I digress)
You put him in the position to succeed - plan a date that ends up back at your place after a few glasses of wine. I believe I've got a video answering that very question in Love U.
@@evanmarckatz yes!!! Put him in a position to succeed is a perfect plan! That is basically how I've always felt when a woman makes the first move on me, even if it's as simple as holding my hand before I've held her's.
Hi thanks for the advice. I also have a sister who has a shy boyfriend but the guy has not called or texted he says he is ever busy when she asks why. They have dated each other for two months should she leave him i need some advice.
Thank you
His personality...really 🙄