Recoverlog 12-Alcohol is not my friend
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- I'm creating a video diary to chart my recovery from mental illness.
I hope this will help other people who are also struggling with their mental health to speak out, get help and recover.
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Already by seeing this dependency on alcohol, you're already challenging its power and seeing it for what it is. I think this is a brilliant step. I can see you put a lot of pressure on yourself and are trying to achieve the same comfort in social situations you had before your relapse. What we need to do is help you find ways of being comfortable without the alcohol, and without expecting it to be the same comfort as you've had in the past.
The key thing I hope I can help you to remember is that this is your recovery. And I think it will be so helpful for you to be honest with people who you are meeting (maybe beforehand) and let them know the anxiety you will be feeling. Then you are under no pressure to make lots of conversation or present yourself in a certain way. You can just be.
Part of fighting the stigma I feel is emphasising as much as possible that this is an illness and like an injury also. With a broken leg, people will understand that someone wouldn't be dancing as much as before. Your current state of illness means that there are certain adaptations you need to make (and others around you should make) to help you.
If you have someone who REALLY understands , it might be helpful to take them along with you for support.
I am proud of you for making this video and hope you receive lots of enabling responses. I hope talking is somewhat of a release. May our love and non-judgement shield and carry you and help you in your reflections on this.
Lots of love and hugs XXXXXX
I went through a phase that lasted for 5 years. I was 15 when it started and now I'm recently becoming more and more 'well' and 'confident'. Those years sucked. I didn't get the help I needed and I refused to admit to anyone that I had an issue. But, the only thing that dragged myself out of it was the fact that people were in fact willing to help me. They would talk to me and give me the confidence that I needed. I know I didn't face what your facing and I know it's nowhere near as bad as yours, but believe me when I say this: "just try talking and try making friends. It's the only 'medicine' that can truly help."
I hope you're well and enjoying life today ☺️
Sorry to hear you're struggling right now. Thanks for sharing this. I felt exactly the same one year ago and what helped me was therapy once a month, a steady self care routine, and while in social situations, whenever Id feel my anxiety rising, id try my best to acknowledge it and focus on the moment. Focus on what the person is saying and get into the conversation. I still feel like that sometimes but I always remind myself to focus on the conversation. Love to you and wishing you the best, you deserve to enjoy social situations without alcohol.
Hi Jonny, nice to see you look much better after all these difficult weeks. As I have read on other comments, don ' t be too hard on yourself. There is a big difference between being an alcoholic and drinking a bit of alcohol. If you know how to learn to limit yourself, then that s fine!
Personally, when I organize a diner at home (cooking for others is a great personal, rewarding and artistic experience), the diner is much better with some alcohol than without! If I go out, it is the same thing. But I haven't been properly drunk for more than 10 years because I have learned how to limit myself. I have got an addictive personality so I know what it is like! And I think the best option is to negotiate with it rather than to erase it entirely.
And I think It is the same thing with other "bad" addictions (cigarettes, thoughts, emotions, sex, being paranoid,...). It requires time, willpower and finding the right distance and I think you ve got all that! Hugs!!!
Dear Jonny, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day. The fact that you're aware of your dependence on alcohol, will make a difference. You CAN get through this difficult time. You have the power inside you. I hope you have someone you can talk to about this issue. You need to stop being being so hard on yourself Jonny; however, I know only too well, just how hard this can be.
Please remember you've experienced a relapse in your mental health and it will take time to return to the way things were previously. Nevertheless, when you look back on your achievements, you should be so proud of yourself. I'm incredibly proud of you. Your bravery in making these Recoverlogs and speaking out so honestly about your personal journey, will prove to be instrumental in enabling others on their own journey. Countless people hold you in high esteem and you are dearly loved. Please stay strong. Hugs and lots of love, my wonderful friend. :-) xxxx
Always nice to see you, Jonny... Yes, please be careful. You know in the long term that alcohol is not an answer and does you more harm than good. You've been through so much, please take things slow. Don't feel the need to be the life of the party just yet. For now, just be with the people who understand and make you feel the most comfortable. I know how much anxiety sucks, but over time being in social situations will improve. In the meantime, try not to feel so self-conscious and beat yourself up because you know it feels so much worse on the inside than it appears on the outside.
This is exactly what I'm going through now. Yet I find that most often, the alcohol/drug makes it worse. I can feel that my body is not happy with what I'm doing to it, yet can't stop. I find myself dull and I'm afraid I will appear so to others without it. Or that it will stop my from panic and negative thoughts. For a while it helps but I know full well its messing with my mind.
The only way I remember being able to overcome social anxiety was when I was in a particular relationship. I think it's finding someone you are truly comfortable with. It helps so much to have that one person by your side. Unfortunately the relationship has ended now and I know it will take a while to find something similar.
Maybe close friendship/relationship is the answer.
I hope that you can get the help and support that you need. At least you realise that it is an issue. Well done for being so open and stay strong.
I've been told with my panic attacks not to drink caffeine or have anything that is a stimulant and will speed up your heart but at the same time that depressants such as alcohol won't help. I do understand how it may help particularly with anxious feelings and helping you to feel somewhat calmer xxx
I can understand where you're coming from as I only go out of its to a gig that I really don't want to miss, but even then it takes a few drinks before I have the nerve to talk to people otherwise I'd spend the entire night in a corner alone.
However, I know this is not healthy. I've since placed a rule on myself to make sure there's always one person there that I feel safe enough to speak to sober before I make plans to go. They are like my social safety net. It's a slow process, but hopefully it will help me learn to make friends which will make being outside easier.
I really hope things start looking up for you sweetie. Your advice has helped me so much and I know others would say the same.x
Hello again mister! First off let me just say how good it is to see you looking a little better with each new video and secondly man does social anxiety suck! It became a big part of my anxiety disorder as well and the only way I even came close to conquering it was to expose myself to social situations a little at a time until eventually I became ok with it.As I've said before anxiety is unfortunately one of those things that just takes a lot of bloody time and hard work to overcome but overcome it you will,or at the very least learn to live with it,but not with the help of alcohol.You know this and it's not my place to preach so good luck and keep being strong cause what you're doing here is an inspiration!
Mistersensitive75 Thanks friend, it's inspiring to know you've conquered your social anxiety. It really sucks indeed. If you can fight it then i sure can too :)
I feel as though this could be me speaking on the subject, easily. For years I used (misused) alcohol as a social crutch. It worked, but for all the wrong reasons and bad things came of it. I lost jobs, respect from my peers and family, time, money.
After hitting another low point I forced myself to give up drinking. I made it inaccessible and stopped using it as a crutch. I was (and still am) uncomfortable in social settings but almost an entire sober year later has made me have to deal with myself on a sober level.
Alcohol is a bandaid and a really shitty one that hurts a lot to rip off, but that cut underneath won't start to heal until it is exposed to fresh air.
I wish you all the best and want to extend myself as a point of contact for you. Don't hesitate to send me a message if you need or want someone to talk to.
Whats your goal? Pick it and stay focused on it. Who are you doing it for? Pick who and stay focused. Why are you doing it? Might be because alcohol is an unhealthy coping mechanism with a bad rebound effect? Pick more reasons and stay focused on them. How can you put yourself through the challenge in a slow and gradual way without alcohol? Random date, a friend, then two, then three, then four, joining a group of something you'd love to do. Say you were a photography buff and you find a photography club, you would go and challenge your confidence. Maybe you'd be quiet or shy and then it would get easier. It's always harder before it gets easier. It is scary indeed, until it is not. Pick more activities for healthy self-confidence challenges and stay focused. Write it all down pen to paper. Our mind distorts and does a little tweaking to all we think, believe or plan. Writing reorganizes thought in a more coherent and consistent form. Write down the why, what, how and the goals. Write down a number of suggestions as you would give anyone else. Research how to put those in place. Have a pro/con list if necessary. Then start challenging yourself in a healthy manner as you have planned. Do something which scares you each day. And keep going over those notes when your mind starts with the distortions. Keeping your focus on track will make it easier. Stay focused. I have a feeling everything will be grand for you. Come see it my way. Even if you dont fully believe that. Just do it. Just for today. Have that as a motto. Each day you'll be thinking "i can do it. Just for this once. Just for today". Stay focused my friend, stay focused :) much love
MrTheLionKing1986 Thank-you for your message and your words of encouragement! I really appreciate you taking the time and energy to write. You've given me hope and optimism sir. Thank-you :)
There's a lot of people wishing to see you thrive. Just embrace the love. :) Stay strong, stay focused :)
I'm at this very point your talking about. Thanks Jonny.
Hello Jonny! Good to see you again :) Please, be super careful with misusing alcohol, it is about the most destructive drug there is. Also, you should be watching out for interactions with your medication, that can be pretty dangerous! Especially psychiatric drugs tend to have many complicated pharmacological interactions..so pleased take care!
Mara Marmite Thanks for the advice, really appreciate it!
Someone already said this but dont put your self down lots of people need drink in social situations. Try cutting back on the drink slowly. I didnt us to like being with big groups.
This may be something you dont want to do and may scare you but try to take control orgainse your own night out with friends pick a place you feel comfortable and invite small groups of friends this may help you relex and then start to drink less. I know its easyer said than done ps sorry about speilling mistakes in most of my comments stay strong thinking off you xxx
Recently I saw it pointed out that alcohol depresses physical functions, but that it does not itself *cause* emotional depression. I haven't followed up on that, but it's certainly worth considering. Alcohol is a sedative, yes? I'm sure it's possible to use alcohol to good effect in some cases! I have little to say about it that's positive, usually -- I've been close to the abuse side of alcohol, alcoholism. Sometimes I wonder if I might be an alcoholic (like dear old dad), but too wary of it to drink much, if at all.
I was staying with a friend after he had to eject his partner of 17 years+, while he was trying to recover from all that had gone on, trying to build or rebuuild his life. He worked full-time, and attended up to 4 support meetings every week: Al-Anon (for people affected by others' alcoholism), Adult Children of Alcoholics. One time he said he felt he was "using me as a crutch" during this hard work he was doing, leaning on me. I pointed that this is why we HAVE crutches! They are (often) there to help us keep our balance, to stay upright, and to move forward. Get us where we want to go, help us do what we need to.
So is there someone with training or experience (or both!) you can talk with? Is there a doctor, nurse, medical advisor, person with experiences like yours? Wih some prescription drugs for anxiety and depression, medical doctors have told me it's okay to occasionally have a drink (or two?). Maybe alcohol is not always bad? Is it possible that you can safely work it into your... treatment? Can it be used temporarily, until you feel you can make your way without it and throw the crutch away? Can you use something else instead? Hmmm, maybe you have a crutchfriend to lean on?
Alcohol is just a tempory happiness ! . And it numb ur scary though and anixety for awhile to make u feel free and strong and brave I know how it is but also its not good. Maybe slowly u can take it a step at a time to go to those places with out drinking for a bit and when ur confidence build u probly don't need it anymore 💛😎😎😎😎
I've done this with alcohol. Everyone does to some extent though.
anxiety sucks but drinking i your situation is not advisable. Apart from the fact that the alcohol does not help in the long term, if you are taking antipsychotics then it is even more of a nad idea Johnny. Glad to see you looking better and doig better
I drink to help with the voice and anxiety. but I find u get use to drinking I found and u start to drink more. It does help for say a hour then u need more. After u drink I found the voices to become worse in the morning and then u drink in the morning. I've asked the doctor for help as I found this getting worse to the point I can't carry on this way. They are thinking of getting me into CBT so hoping that will help. At the moment I hate going out alone I listen to music when I go out or at home. I try not to talk to myself as I feel people are looking at me or talking about me. If I need things I normal ask my girlfriend to help me which does help a lot. I don't like putting things on her but she's a big help to me.
I've lived with an alcoholic. Jonny, you don't want to be him. You're to awesome to be him. No addiction is worth it. What does your therapist say? They should be helping you not create something that wasn't there as a means to ease what was
I wish I could give you a hug right now. Maybe tell your mates to take you out but not let you near alcohol. If you're thinking of it like you are, then even, "Just one" isn't a good thing. I only say this as somebody that's seen this happen to others and I'm telling you it isn't pretty. It's horrid and destructive, even in somebody who is normally fit and healthy
You're a very intelligent guy.....you know all this. Don't add another problem to your life. Things will get better. They did before. They will again. And without the demon drink. Hold on to that feeling....not this this fucking awful anxiety
All my love and bestest vibes to you x
(Jeeze I'm such a Mum, lol)
Sarah Jepson Thanks so much Sarah for your message. It's so lovely of you. You're right that things will get better, i have to hold onto hope! Big hugs x
I think alcohol triggers psychosis for me.
+Xi Zui It did for me several times
ok. However how do other people drink loads without becoming psychotic. Just drunk and then next day they are fine!
alcohol makes your thoughts intermingle with each other and makes you go from high to lowest quickly.
+Dani Feany For me I became constantly high on it. Over a period of 3months in 2014 I became dependant on it. It was VERY scary looking back now I was psychotic with no insight whatsoever and manic for a long time and then it led me to being sectioned and diagnosed with Bipolar and BPD. The impulsive part of my BPD leads me on occasion to binge drink still, however I am no longer dependant on it as in alcoholic. I go to AA now.
You look so sad in this video. I hate to see you beating yourself up. A lot of people need alcohol to feel at ease socially and it isn't ideal but then it isn't the end of the world either. Yes alcohol is a depressive but I don't know how often and how much you drink. Please don't fall in to the trap of trying to deal with everything all at once. Sometimes we have to do what we do to get through situations you know? Before the do good brigade jump on me no I am not suggesting you go and get bladdered every night but maybe right here right now it isn't the end of the world either. Whatever you do to get through life NEVER give yourself a hard time for it. Sometimes babe it is what it is xxxx
Sue Bryant Ah thanks Sue, that's really sweet of you. Hope you're doing good yourself :) xxx
Jonny Benjamin 1 Been better but been worse so I'm ok thanks. Hope the new meds are working,I look forward to a video update soon xxx
Your birthday brings something special that defines you.
Look for it.
Make yourself a nice dinner serve yourself some wine it's not so bad
It could be alcohol + men that helps haha. Well only alcohol makes depression worse