on the fictive experience | pandemonium symposium
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- hiya loves! 🫀
in this installment of pandemonium symposium, rue & riot! and then ivy & caoimhe sit to talk about their experiences of holding fictive identities within a dissociative identity disorder system!
fictives are very frequently misunderstood but very valid and valuable parts of dissociative systems! in this video, our two systems collaborate not only on giving different perspectives of fictive identity, but also opinions on how the system community and singlets have misconceptions of fictives, and offer advice for supporting and connecting with fictives!
thank you so much for watching, feel free to share your own experiences in the comments! ♡ we would also love to hear if you have any topics you would want us to cover in a sit-down, symposium style video!
sending such love, and hoping you have beautiful days! take care of yourselves and each other! ❤️🩷
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Been wanting to comment this for a while, but wasn’t comfortable enough to until now! Re: fictives being a “carbon copy” of their source, some of our fictives describe the experience as being like the Pixar bloopers. They animated bloopers of say Woody from Toy Story messing up his lines. It’s not Tom Hanks messing up, it’s Woody, in character, aware he is in a movie, messing up his lines. That is kind of how some of our fictives see themselves. They don’t literally think they were there making the show itself, but kind of like they remember the show as if that is what happened.
i love that explanation! we have a fictive who has a unique source relationship in a similar vein, he sees his source as a piece of art that he made about his own life! like a semi autobiographical work of sorts!
This was very helpful for us. We have a fictive and her source was very comforting to us as a child, but now it is triggering for her. Originally we thought she would enjoy watching her source because of how much we loved it as a kid, but it was really emotionally painful to watch it even though it is a lighthearted piece of media. We now won't watch it or talk about it because she finds it disrespectful. Thank you for talking about this!
i am so glad you’ve found ways to accommodate that person 🫀 it can be hard to cope with ! sending all of you such love :)
I didn't realise that I need a tamagotchi necklace in my life until now 😢
I really do enjoy these chats. Thank you all for creating this space for mental health topic conversations💟
thank you so much! sending love your way 🫶🏻
Riot is so different than other alters I no your system, they talk so different and have different mannerisms and it so cool to see, riot seems like a calming yet more dominant (non-sexua)
Several of us go by different names than our source because we don't want others to make assumptions and think we're trying to copy someone. I didn't know we weren't the only ones who did that.
you are not alone! ♡ separating from source can bring a sense of comfort! sending your system such love !!
Yeah we tend to notices for our Fictives/Semi-Fictives the themes in them are so similar it’s unreal. And it made it so we can actually slowly accept things and process things. It is symbolic and also there’s a study called “Flicker: Your Brain on Movies” which says when we watch movies , tv shows etc what happens on the screen and how the brain reacts as if the brain was experiencing it in person.
Before I knew about DID/OSDD the 1st Part I was able to see is a Fictives so for so long I thought I was acting when he was really co-con.
Yeah it’s a spectrum there’s Parts which a really similar to their source but also there’s Parts where it’s only the body / name from that source.
As someone with 1 fitive who doesn’t front much at all but I have friends who have mainly fictives this was so interesting and really helpful to understand there experiences in some way where i can’t relate a lot but i also just want to say i love your guises outfits so much you guys look so handsome/pretty I was wondering how you guys go about feeling more at ‘home’ in this reality?
(My spelling and grammar is really bad because of dyslexia if you need clarification let me know)
thank you! i think the “home” feeling is developed over time ^-^ you make friends & connections, make memories, maybe get comfort items & things that feel like “yours”, you do activities you enjoy! it’s a process, but over time i think it can get easier :3
we greatly appreciate this video!
sending you so much love
Hearing the way you guys explained polyfragmentation, I think the way our system works aligns so closely with that. Before, I never considered it, maybe because I didn't understand what it really was, and just thought it was a high alter count. even though we have recorded over 300 alters so far, i still didn't believe we had a high alter count because we have a loooot of fragments over the years, that just "front once and never again". We described it like "the brain throwing new alters into front and doing a beta test to see who is the most suitable to develop into a full alter so they can front more or help the system internally or externally". like the brain is just doing a sales pitch like "here's a new alter idea i just came up with, do you like this concept?" and then just repeating it until we find an alter who is helpful to us in terms of survival or coping or whatever the need is LOL. and even then, its like, sometimes we have alters who are "designed a certain way" but when we "send them out" into the real world, they change drastically from their original "design" if that makes sense. I think its part of why a lot of our alters struggle with accepting theyre real/that we really have DIDOSDD, because the process by which they're "created" sounds so... intentional, calculated, and unreal. But the one argument they can't argue against is the fact that all of this is done unconsciously, we never try to make an alter or influence the "design" or control when they front, etc. I guess our brain is just super imaginative and kind of way too powerful for even ourselves to comprehend LOL.
hopefully that made sense and I don't just sound crazy lol
also I'm so glad for the talk about lived experiences as a fictive, as well as talking about other subjects related like exomemories and other introjects, the way that they can form, etc, because our system can relate to a looot of these experiences, and it's nice to know we didn't make it up loolol. Like how fictives can have exomemories that intertwine with their source material, how exomemories are like the brain's way of processing things in our life, sort of like how dreams work, how introjects of the same source can be very different, etc. i can even add that we have a lot of multiples of the same source with different interpretations based on their role and part in the system. we have literally 9 alters with the same source, and they're all so vastly different from each other. and even if we have sourcemates WITHIN OUR SYSTEM, they will remember the same event differently, remember the world and characters differently. we've even tried to record the different interpretations of the same character by different introjects, and compare that to the source material. and other times, we have alters who have connected exomemories, which is pretty interesting, because even they will remember the same event differently. idkkkk its all pretty interesting lol
high fragment counts are so common in polyfrag! i wish it was a more understood element of osddid in the medical field because it took us so long to recognize that we were polyfrag too- and this is a shared experience amongst other polyfrag systems we have met!! sending such love your way ^-^
This was so interesting, I didn't know much about fictives before but this provided such a good insight!
thank you so much! :)
petition for rigby to share his fictive experience 😭
this made me laugh omg
You look so cool with those contacts lenses. Would you also try, like, full black sclera lenses?
heck yea! i love wearing lenses they make me happy :)) the ones we have are black mini scleras and those r really fun!
@@rainmjeden that's awesome, and I'm glad that you're enjoying it