This video reminded me of Anna Quindlen's quote: “The biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three on them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in a hurry to get on to the next things: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.” ― Anna Quindlen, Loud and Clear
My children are 4 and 6, and I still do the same thing where I have a vision of someone snatching my child right in front of me, or something terrible happening! It's something I cannot seem to shake but it really does help knowing others have these thoughts also!
I do that all the time. Then I hug my baby and keep my eyes peeled when I'm out. It's a bit paranoid but as long as it's not debilitating fear and my kids can enjoy some freedom at a distance close enough for me to fight off kidnappers, I think it's fine.
So glad it’s not just me! I have visions and moments of anxiety like this all the time too and it actually started in pregnancy for me. I’d be walking back to the car park from work and hear footsteps behind me and be absolutely convinced someone was going to attack me. Or I’d be walking down the road and be terrified that a car would veer onto the pavement. It seems completely irrational really but in the weeks after having my son I was more hesitant to leave the house, especially alone. Things are a little better now but when I do have visions or thoughts about all the terrible things that could happen, the panic is real! X
Love all of your motherhood content, I watched your baby videos when I was pregnant with my 1st and now I’ve had another baby since then and I still rewatch many of your old videos when I get to different stages. Thank you for the content you create
I watch your videos regularly but have never commented. I agree to losing your identity. 3 years after I still struggle with it. Not that I want to be the person I was before, but part of me still mourns that life. I am slowly figuring it how to incorporate motherhood to my identity and what I would like my identity to be in the future.
You’re so cool and honest :) I struggled with anxiety with my first baby and now with my second I am so much more relaxed and confident in myself. I suppose we do learn some things from those mistakes the first time around it’s all a learning curve! There’s so much to take in when it’s a new experience. My biggest advice to other mums is always trust your own instincts! 🙏🏼
“I’d worry about that I’d never sleep again” 😂. That was so funny. I like how especially your mum life experiences come straight from the heart and are it’s dead honest. I think if I were to rate your videos I like 1. Your mom videos 2. Cleaning videos 3. Grocery hauls
Your videos are so relatable especially your comment about trusting yourself more. We are taught that doctor knows best that often we don’t have the courage or know to question their opinion.
You’ve helped me sooo much throughout the years, I just want to thank you, Emily. I’ve learnt to make lists for everything, be more organized but also more relaxed if that makes sense. You are great at this! Lots of hugs! 🤗
Thank you so much! I relate to this on so many levels. My little one is 10 months and oh my goodness I'm feeling the identity loss! Also finding asking for help so difficult! So good to hear that I'm not the only one!
This was an awesome video for new moms! But it’s so funny to watch from my vantage point. I’m a grandma now -my boys are all grown-and I can tell you for sure that you won’t even remember these things you might have done differently when your boys were little by the time your boys are grown! Your “regrets” change so dramatically over time. 😊
I really liked this video Emily. My biggest regret is giving myself such a hard time over breastfeeding my son as a baby. I really struggled and carried on for 5 months despite pain and it causing me so much anxiety and anguish over how much he was getting. I wish I’d given myself a break and stopped feeling so guilty when I gave up breastfeeding and went to bottle feeds instead. I also was obsessed with sleep/nap routines so can completely understand that one! xx
Same here. Just gave myself a hard time over so many things with my 1st. Wish I was just more chill in general 😅. It improved with my 2nd and 3rd 🙂. Good one Emily! Love when you make such honest relatable content. Very important for all us moms.
Same. I breastfed for one month pretty much just by pumping because my daughter was hospitalized and separated from me, and ended up not latching at all. It was a very stressful experience, not to mention every nurse and member of the family constantly checking my breast during my attempts at feed to give advice etc. It was very humiliating to say the least, and I felt really relieved when I communicated everyone (including my pediatrician) that I took on bottle feeding. With my second child I have no intention to be regretful about it and just plain use formula if that'll be the case.
I echo this too. I struggled with my first, only lasting until she was 4 months old and with my son now I am challenging myself to keep on going to beat/make up for what I didn’t do with my daughter. He is now 5 months and still persevering despite it being hard. I have relaxed a bit and replacing some feeds with a bottle. I don’t want to give up fully yet 😢
I have 2 boys, 9mos and 3yrs. Ugh, the anxiety in letting others help really hit home. I have got to try and chill a bit. Thank you for sharing these. You're really helping a lot of mamas💛
It’s crazy how impactful the journey into motherhood is. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experiences even though they definitely don’t seem easy to talk about for you. I recently retold the birth story of my first child when interviewing doulas for my next labor and was taken aback by how emotional that was to say out loud.
Yes! I related to everything you mentioned! I was nodding my head the whole time lol. Always listen to the mother's instinct, the worrying about a sleep schedule, and I even feel the same way about when my hubby comes home. Like, I have nothing to say lol. I do remember one of your older videos when you said if we were feeling down on ourselves to just do something to make ourselves feel better, whether it's a shower, some makeup, or do your hair because that feeling can get overwhelming. I really am so glad I've been watching you since Jackson was born and you really are the best. You said RUclips kind of saved you, but you have saved so many moms in need too. You're really the best! Xoxoxo!
Oh my gosh this video is so timely for me and hits home. I’m currently 38 weeks with my second child and dilated 2/3 centimeters. Just waiting on “real labor” and feeling anxious. My first delivery was a terrible experience and I hope this one is much better. So many things in this video were so good to hear right now. 💗
I 110 percent agree with that regret of comparing myself to others. It was mostly online comparing with other mamas on youtube and not understanding that family looks different within each home. Sometimes I cant read my child a book or do quiet play time... lol i do screen time. I think watching a lot of day in life videos jaded how i viewed motherhood
Emily. I absolutely agree with everything you had to say. If I could tell myself as a pregnant and new mum is, there is no right or wrong way, babies dont conform to a book or manual, trust your instincts even when it first time, trying to still keep up the house and everything as if you didn’t have a baby. Exhausting! I was so uptight for so many years!
I completely agree with the postnatal anxiety - I had visions of what ‘could’ happen with my first and it felt crippling at times. I didn’t have the same at all with girl 2 and 3. It is so hard to accept help because there can be an anxiety or a pride or that you’re not able etc. I completely know what you mean. It has taken me until my third baby to regain who I am. As a teacher, it was a huge change so I can really relate. Loneliness was a huge issue for me for sure! So great to hear this video and I feel we would link well. Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine lovely lady xx
Such worthwhile tips Emily. I BF my 4 children for 4 months 2 years, 18 months and 3 years respectively, depending on my baby and its needs its so unkind for some health professional to criticise, especially a first time mother. I also totally agree with the the 'hosting' as a first time mum, I had so many people visiting, that when I could and should have been either catching up with much needed sleep or holding and bonding with my baby, I was running around the house making sure everything was clean and organised for visitors, it was not a good time for us. But it is true that with every other child I gained a voice and became assertive so I didn't fall into the same trap. It's such a shame that there isn't a way to teach all new mothers this before they give birth. Anyway great to hear your great views and look forward to the next talk. Marjorie
Thank you for sharing this. Im a mum of 3 (4 years old, 2 year old and a 1 year old) currently getting help for my postnatal depression and this video was so lovely. So nice to hear someone else worry and struggle with similar things. I love being a mum it is a dream come true (we struggled getting pregnant and had miscarriages) but Your video is so relatable and actually made me so emotional. Its so helpful to know it does get easier and not to compare and compare myself to other so much. You’ve made my day thank you ❤️ x
Your motherhood content has been so helpful to me throughout my pregnancy and first year. I’d love to see a video like this but focused on your regrets or things you would do again for the 3-6 year old stages. Would be so interesting!
Agree with everything...esp gut instinct...and visitors with first...just getting dressed was had for me after my first....comparing or worrying what others thought esp after my third....18 months apart....never confident....also trying to get all to bed on that schedule, I wish I would of rocked them to sleep or let them stay up and let them fall asleep relaxing on the couch....lots of anxiety for them and us parents at bedtime....love this video.....I cant believe they said not to nurse past 7 months...or that it was just for you! My last went until 5! Thanks for all this info!
I had the same kind of visions when I’ve been postpartum!! But after 5 kids I’ve learned it is definitely sleep deprivation . Your amazing Emily love your content!
Absolutely loved this Emily! Perfect timing for me, I’m a first time Mum to my little boy who is 10 days old. So reassuring and I also love watching your old content for all the mumspiration! Thank you ❤️
Yes to all of these! I also have 3 boys, and can relate to basically everything you shared. Thank you for making great content and for always being so encouraging/motivating .♥️
This video is spot on!! I had my 3rd baby a few months ago, it’s been 11 years since my first and my regrets are the same as yours so this time I’m just following instinct. I said no to so many visitors, it’s lovely that they want to come but it means hoovering, cleaning the kitchen etc, no one invited me to their house which would have been a lovely break!
Good video for new mums! I’ve got 3 boys as well, and I regret not going with my gut on sleep. Mine all baulked at strict routine and they all needed contact to sleep, it took me a couple of years into motherhood to let it go, and glad I did. My boys all still need to fall asleep on me or next to me by night - by day they’re super independent, adventurous kids. It was worth letting them always sleep on my chest as babies and not sleep train them to sleep in their cot (because they hated it). Those baby years are short.
These regrets totally resonate with me! I'm pregnant with my second and I'm going to try so hard not to obsess with sleep this time and I've already said I am going to be much stricter with visitors (and the length of time that they stay!) X
So agree with you at trusting your gut!! Please everyone do it 🙏🏻🙏🏻 if I didn’t trust my gut my 3 month old wouldn’t be here right now, after 2 ambulances and being sent home from the hospital twice I nearly didn’t go back to the hospital, but if I hadn’t we would have lost her that night as her oxygen levels were right down to 59% and her lung had collapsed from a bad chest infection aswell as bronchiolitis 😩 it’s crazy how quickly babies deteriorate! She’s now happy and healthy thank goodness
Great video thanks! I started watching your videos before my first in 2019 & you always made me feel like I could do it (even in the thick of nap anxiety with my first) & to trust myself. My first was sleep trained, now I practically sleep on top of my second 🤣… you really have taught me that being a mom could be fun. Thank you for all the light these past few years. Keep it up.
I can relate to so much of this! Looking back I know I struggled with PPA and probably PPD. My only regret around this (bc it was out of my control) is not preparing for it ahead of time by making sure my loved ones knew the signs so they could help me bc when I was in it I didn’t really see how much I needed support.
This was me too. I wish I had educated myself and my loved ones about PPD, because I had no idea how much support I needed until I was diagnosed by my doctor 😊
@@ConstanceDunham dlsorry to hear this, what are the symptoms? Can you also get it in pregnancy? I have a lot of confusing symptoms but doctors say it's pregnancy hormos it's confusing me.
Ooh this was so interesting. Its amazing how much we learn from our 1st born. I can only imagine how painful the broken coccyx was (and still is for you) 😥 I've never heard of Delilahs channel, so I will go and give her channel a viewing, thank you 🥰
Hi Emily 😊. The sleep or nap advice... our twins who are now 17, I was very strict with routine, but they did nap wherever.. in the car, in the pram or in their cot, I honestly didn't care where they napped, just that they napped.😊, then our 8 year old - she never napped more than 30 min 🤦♀️. I think alot of new mums worry about milestones, but you are so right.. in their time!! Comparison is the thief of happiness.💚 Loss of Identity - oh yes..I became "the twins mom" and no one asked me how I was, it was always "how are the twins". Great video Emily 💚
I've seen you in the Channel Mums videos when I was following the weekly pregnancy milestones. Thank you for putting this video out there. I gave birth mid-Feb and my birthing position was lying on my back (though I tried on all fours but that didn't work for me). I think I've damaged my tailbone too. I had mentioned it to my midwife and they say it will heal but it's been 7 weeks already and I'm still incredibly sore. Watching this video has made me take action and make a GP appt for next week and get it properly checked out. Without your video I probably wouldn't have done anything. So THANK YOU!!!
Hi Emily, thanks for sharing your regrets and tips with all us mums. I once found the poem ‘If I had my child to raise over again’ by Diana Loomans in a magazine when my children were about 10 and 12 and cut it out and have kept it ever since. Kate and Will are now 24 and 26 but the sentiments behind the poem still resonate with me. We’re all so busy trying to get everything right that we sometimes forget the important things and to enjoy our children. Have a quick read of the poem when you get a minute. Love to all Rebecca xxx
So good! Your RUclips channel helped me a ton with becoming a mom, the advise to read about hypobirthing gave me a good direction in delivering a peaceful birth. Also I started a RUclips channel because of you too ! Thank you for sharing all your advice.
Absolutely loved the video, when I had my daughter you were the first mum on RUclipsr I watched for packing for hospital bag. This was five years ago still watching your content. I absolutely love it so genuine, incredibly relatable. You always have the best advice . My regrets are all the same as yours. Thank you so much for sharing. X
Totally agree with the napping and hosting part. I did the same things as you did. My second was born during covid time so hosting wasn't really an issue
Thank you so much for this honest video. I can completely relate to not speaking up enough. My labour was not progressing in the pushing stage and I didn't express myself enough.I pushed needlessly for hours because my daughter was at an angle in the birth canal. I ended up having a ventuose delivery and I now have a very weak bladder from the pressure of the pushing.
Haven't gotten through the whole video yet I had to pause to say this. How dare that health visitor say after 7 months you are just doing it for yourself. That is a ridiculous thing to say to a mum! I think now the WHO say 2 years. But it is 100% up to the mum. I hope she regrets that mindset and has educated herself on it!
Aw Emily thank you! Your comments are so relatable, especially the one about loss of identity. I’ve been feeling that so much, even though I love being a mum! It’s just good to know we are not alone and that things will get better xxx
I literally stopped what i was doing, while watching you in the background, to come here and comment. Just an amazing and perfect video Emily. Literally feeling like you are speaking my heart out. Job well done mama.
Thank you so much for these reminders! I’m a mom of 2 boys under the age of 3. I am confident one day, feel like I can do it all and the next day my confidence crumbles to the ground as I sit in a pile of laundry and crumbs. My oldest REFUSES to use his potty!! My husband reminded me of the same thing, it won’t affect their life as an adult! Not a question on any form you have to fill out😂 love your videos and appreciate all your work you put into them💕
I've already had 3 kids and we're done... my youngest is 6 but I still Loved this chat, I found it very interesting. We struggled with much of the same things as a mom of a baby.
“Accepting more help.” I am this mother, I still struggle a lot to let anyone else help or doing anything for me. I feel such guilt and anxiety about anyone doing anything for me. I now have 3 children under 5 and am feeling the strain so must get better at this but letting go is so hard for me, I really do feel I should be able to do it all even though I know I can’t. It’s a total battle I have with my brain constantly. X
Omg This is such a great video, I remember so many of these things and I wish I’d trusted myself and went with my gut too. I even remember getting up at 4am , cleaning the whole house, doing breakfast and lunches and just being manic Anxious, gosh the things we do with our first child 🤦♀️ Thank you sweets 😘I first watched you when I was expecting my daughter 3years ago , “what’s in my hospital bag” so helpful! X Thank you 😊
I have two children 2 year old and 4 month old and we are home all day by ourselves. I too really struggle with the feeling that I have to do absolutely everything by myself, the worst part of it, my partner expects it from me too. That is a big issue for us. Also I too feel that I lost myself in motherhood. I love my kids more than life, but motherhood is hard for me. Everyday I feel like I am giving them my all and at the same time it is not enough. I don't get much support from families of both sides, because they struggled but was fine, so I am not allowed to complain. This is what I chose, so deal whit it. So I am dealing with it, but really struggling. Thank you for sharing your experience, I really appreciate. With love, from Latvia!
Great video Emily. So vunerable and relatable. Those intrusive thoughts are part of postpartum anxiety, this includes not wanting people to do anything for the baby (including dad) and not wanting to leave the house. I suffered from this (didn't realise until I had my 2nd baby).
If people don't agree that's their problem. I am not even a mom yet i know that every mom knows what's best for HER baby! :) Good video! I don't even have kids but i'm intrigued haha since i'm in nursing school!
It’s so easy to have mom guilt and have regrets. But with all the hormones and comparisons to other moms, you did the best you could. Having those regrets just simply means that you care….. you thought about how you wanted to be a mom and care for your babies the right way. Every new mom is navigating it the best they can.
Great video. I am now a gran and still have regrets, but you live and learn. And giving birth on your back seems so not right to me but I would never speak up. I was stitched with no pain relief as well and it was traumatic. I now have the joy of grandchildren and feel so much more confident and happy.
I broke my coccyx after a fall down stairs. I agree, it's most painful when sitting for any length of time. A coccyx cushion has helped me a lot. Life's too short to have regrets; live in the moment as much as possible.
Love this video. I have 3 kids 2 girls and a boy and your videos of routines ECT from when your boys where smaller have moulded my hole parenting. I don't like reading so being able to wAtch your videos has given me so many ideas I always recommend you to friends who are new mummies... Thank you for sharing your journey 😊xx
Agree with all ! I have two boys 11 and 7 … with my first I followed the Gina Ford routines to the letter ! Even eating toast when the schedule said and letting visitors come round but they wouldn’t see the baby as he d be in his room, blackout blinds down fast asleep at 2pm! At the time I needed the strict routine but with my 2nd I was a lot more relaxed and enjoyed it more … both boys turned out the same but the youngest enjoys cuddles more than my eldest and I do sometimes question if that s because I followed the book so rigidly… Also trusting ur instinct ….. trust ur thoughts ! Still happens now , a friend recently compared me to a lioness as I protected my eldest & believe … it all works out in the end ! I also regret staying up to 1am freezing ice cubes of parsnips , suede & broccoli … he now eats none of those ! Lol! Food for thought ! X
Couldn't agree more with you, my sons only three but all of these things resonate with me. Definitely going to start putting these in to more practice. :)
This is great content. My kids are 28, 30 and 32 and long gone out of the nest. You want the best for your kids so it's easy to over think it. I wish I had savored the time when they were little more. Hindsight is 20/20 so I try not to worry about what I did wrong. I did more right than wrong, same as my mom.
I'm a Mum of a nearly 5-year-old, a nearly 3-year-old and a baby who's 6 months old tomorrow. I relate soo much with everything you said, especially with the first baby. I love now, with the third one, the feeling that I actually know what I'm doing, it just gives you such confidence. I still worry. More than I should, probably, but I'm getting better. Thank you for this video, so relatable.
My first baby was a terrible sleeper. I went around and around in circles trying to get him to sleep better/longer and it was so stressful. I wish i had relaxed a little more and realised some babies sleep better than others. I also regret not always going with my gut instinct due to other people telling me what i should and shouldnt do. Having most the family around as soon as i came out of hospital after a c section as i was struggling with the pain and breast feeding, i kept going upstairs to feed because people were in my home which put me in more pain. Pushing potty training when my 1st born wasnt ready as it caused tears for both me and my son. Much more relaxed second time round. Shes 3 in a few days and im only just introducing the potty. I wouldnt accept help with my 1st. I felt it was my job to do it all and i had to prove i could do it. I also didnt trust anyone else. I love this video
Well done Emily - super relatable topics to start conversations 🥰 I wish l’d thought to take time for myself a little. Love your insights, they come from a loving and caring place. And yes, after bringing your newborn home- try to manage visitors in a way that works for you. Not yet is an option too 😊 Have a great week.
I think your comment about trusting your instinct/intuition is spot on. We need to trust ourselves more and not consider the medical profession as gods but as humans. Through joining rather belatedly an NCT group I discovered that I could give birth in a small maternity/convalescent home rather than hospital, and discovered that transition is a thing and important to know about (darkest before dawn). From said maternity unit I learned that taking 2 Arnica 30 on the hour every hour after birth helps the body to heal 🌼
My number 1 regret is wishing the years away.. the days are long but the years are quick. I would do anything to turn back time and go back to when my kids were babies.
I think this is my favourite video of yours Emily 🤩 ❤️I love everything “babies and birth talk” when you said about the the vision of the van.. gosh I have them all the time with all 3 even with my 13year old I definitely worry way too much and make myself ill sometimes. Definitely agree you need a first aid course of even watch multiple videos online to educate yourself first I always panicked when weaning my babies that they’d choke and I wouldn’t know What to do so I did course at our local library. Love love loved this video Thankyou Emily ❤️xxx
Really enjoyed this video! Thank you for sharing. I have a 4 year old daughter & 3 year old son, and so many points hit home for me. I am mostly glad I'm not the only one worrying about someone snatching my kids!. I actually thought I was overly paranoid and that living in SA was the reason for it but good to see it is actually normal to feel this way no matter where you live 😂😂
Can I just say that your first regret literally made me cry! 😭 the exact same thing happened to me and I have not heard of anyone who had this. I was in the first lockdown and felt so alone as I had broken by tailbone had no friends or family for support, my partner had to take 12 weeks off work to help me. I wasn’t made aware that being on your back this could happen. 😔 I wish you had done this video sooner ha. But you have made me feel normal that I am not the only one this happened too. Can I please ask as my worry is I can’t have a natural labour again as I was hypnobirthing and loved this journey and being able to breathe through my contractions, but worry this won’t be the case for my next one 😔 xxx
It made me sad to hear you had regrets. You have been a great mum and you only have look at your 3 beautiful boys to see what a great mum you have been ❤️
This video reminded me of Anna Quindlen's quote: “The biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three on them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in a hurry to get on to the next things: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.”
― Anna Quindlen, Loud and Clear
My children are 4 and 6, and I still do the same thing where I have a vision of someone snatching my child right in front of me, or something terrible happening! It's something I cannot seem to shake but it really does help knowing others have these thoughts also!
I do that all the time. Then I hug my baby and keep my eyes peeled when I'm out. It's a bit paranoid but as long as it's not debilitating fear and my kids can enjoy some freedom at a distance close enough for me to fight off kidnappers, I think it's fine.
So glad it’s not just me! I have visions and moments of anxiety like this all the time too and it actually started in pregnancy for me. I’d be walking back to the car park from work and hear footsteps behind me and be absolutely convinced someone was going to attack me. Or I’d be walking down the road and be terrified that a car would veer onto the pavement. It seems completely irrational really but in the weeks after having my son I was more hesitant to leave the house, especially alone. Things are a little better now but when I do have visions or thoughts about all the terrible things that could happen, the panic is real! X
Love all of your motherhood content, I watched your baby videos when I was pregnant with my 1st and now I’ve had another baby since then and I still rewatch many of your old videos when I get to different stages. Thank you for the content you create
I watch your videos regularly but have never commented.
I agree to losing your identity. 3 years after I still struggle with it. Not that I want to be the person I was before, but part of me still mourns that life.
I am slowly figuring it how to incorporate motherhood to my identity and what I would like my identity to be in the future.
You’re so cool and honest :) I struggled with anxiety with my first baby and now with my second I am so much more relaxed and confident in myself. I suppose we do learn some things from those mistakes the first time around it’s all a learning curve! There’s so much to take in when it’s a new experience. My biggest advice to other mums is always trust your own instincts! 🙏🏼
“I’d worry about that I’d never sleep again” 😂. That was so funny. I like how especially your mum life experiences come straight from the heart and are it’s dead honest. I think if I were to rate your videos I like 1. Your mom videos 2. Cleaning videos 3. Grocery hauls
Your videos are so relatable especially your comment about trusting yourself more. We are taught that doctor knows best that often we don’t have the courage or know to question their opinion.
You’ve helped me sooo much throughout the years, I just want to thank you, Emily. I’ve learnt to make lists for everything, be more organized but also more relaxed if that makes sense.
You are great at this! Lots of hugs! 🤗
Thank you so much! I relate to this on so many levels. My little one is 10 months and oh my goodness I'm feeling the identity loss! Also finding asking for help so difficult! So good to hear that I'm not the only one!
Ah definitely not alone Danielle, it gets easier I promise 😘 Thanks for watching xx
This was an awesome video for new moms! But it’s so funny to watch from my vantage point. I’m a grandma now -my boys are all grown-and I can tell you for sure that you won’t even remember these things you might have done differently when your boys were little by the time your boys are grown! Your “regrets” change so dramatically over time. 😊
I really liked this video Emily.
My biggest regret is giving myself such a hard time over breastfeeding my son as a baby. I really struggled and carried on for 5 months despite pain and it causing me so much anxiety and anguish over how much he was getting.
I wish I’d given myself a break and stopped feeling so guilty when I gave up breastfeeding and went to bottle feeds instead.
I also was obsessed with sleep/nap routines so can completely understand that one! xx
Same here. Just gave myself a hard time over so many things with my 1st. Wish I was just more chill in general 😅. It improved with my 2nd and 3rd 🙂.
Good one Emily! Love when you make such honest relatable content. Very important for all us moms.
Same. I breastfed for one month pretty much just by pumping because my daughter was hospitalized and separated from me, and ended up not latching at all. It was a very stressful experience, not to mention every nurse and member of the family constantly checking my breast during my attempts at feed to give advice etc. It was very humiliating to say the least, and I felt really relieved when I communicated everyone (including my pediatrician) that I took on bottle feeding. With my second child I have no intention to be regretful about it and just plain use formula if that'll be the case.
I echo this too. I struggled with my first, only lasting until she was 4 months old and with my son now I am challenging myself to keep on going to beat/make up for what I didn’t do with my daughter. He is now 5 months and still persevering despite it being hard. I have relaxed a bit and replacing some feeds with a bottle. I don’t want to give up fully yet 😢
I have 2 boys, 9mos and 3yrs. Ugh, the anxiety in letting others help really hit home. I have got to try and chill a bit. Thank you for sharing these. You're really helping a lot of mamas💛
I love watching your tips! I’m not a mom as yet but I enjoy all of your videos, whether family, trips, mom, organization, etc!
I hardly ever comment on any channel but this video hits home at so many points and so many levels! Thanks!!
It’s crazy how impactful the journey into motherhood is. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experiences even though they definitely don’t seem easy to talk about for you. I recently retold the birth story of my first child when interviewing doulas for my next labor and was taken aback by how emotional that was to say out loud.
Yes! I related to everything you mentioned! I was nodding my head the whole time lol. Always listen to the mother's instinct, the worrying about a sleep schedule, and I even feel the same way about when my hubby comes home. Like, I have nothing to say lol. I do remember one of your older videos when you said if we were feeling down on ourselves to just do something to make ourselves feel better, whether it's a shower, some makeup, or do your hair because that feeling can get overwhelming. I really am so glad I've been watching you since Jackson was born and you really are the best. You said RUclips kind of saved you, but you have saved so many moms in need too. You're really the best! Xoxoxo!
Oh my gosh this video is so timely for me and hits home. I’m currently 38 weeks with my second child and dilated 2/3 centimeters. Just waiting on “real labor” and feeling anxious. My first delivery was a terrible experience and I hope this one is much better. So many things in this video were so good to hear right now. 💗
I 110 percent agree with that regret of comparing myself to others. It was mostly online comparing with other mamas on youtube and not understanding that family looks different within each home. Sometimes I cant read my child a book or do quiet play time... lol i do screen time. I think watching a lot of day in life videos jaded how i viewed motherhood
Emily. I absolutely agree with everything you had to say. If I could tell myself as a pregnant and new mum is, there is no right or wrong way, babies dont conform to a book or manual, trust your instincts even when it first time, trying to still keep up the house and everything as if you didn’t have a baby. Exhausting! I was so uptight for so many years!
I completely agree with the postnatal anxiety - I had visions of what ‘could’ happen with my first and it felt crippling at times. I didn’t have the same at all with girl 2 and 3. It is so hard to accept help because there can be an anxiety or a pride or that you’re not able etc. I completely know what you mean. It has taken me until my third baby to regain who I am. As a teacher, it was a huge change so I can really relate. Loneliness was a huge issue for me for sure! So great to hear this video and I feel we would link well. Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine lovely lady xx
Such worthwhile tips Emily.
I BF my 4 children for 4 months 2 years, 18 months and 3 years respectively, depending on my baby and its needs its so unkind for some health professional to criticise, especially a first time mother.
I also totally agree with the the 'hosting' as a first time mum, I had so many people visiting, that when I could and should have been either catching up with much needed sleep or holding and bonding with my baby, I was running around the house making sure everything was clean and organised for visitors, it was not a good time for us.
But it is true that with every other child I gained a voice and became assertive so I didn't fall into the same trap.
It's such a shame that there isn't a way to teach all new mothers this before they give birth.
Anyway great to hear your great views and look forward to the next talk.
Marjorie
Thank you for sharing. It helps to know that other mothers have been through the same or similar things.
Thank you for sharing this. Im a mum of 3 (4 years old, 2 year old and a 1 year old) currently getting help for my postnatal depression and this video was so lovely. So nice to hear someone else worry and struggle with similar things. I love being a mum it is a dream come true (we struggled getting pregnant and had miscarriages) but Your video is so relatable and actually made me so emotional. Its so helpful to know it does get easier and not to compare and compare myself to other so much. You’ve made my day thank you ❤️ x
Love these kind of videos about motherhood. Always looking forward ❤️
The visions of something bad happening is something I definitely struggle with ALL THE TIME
Im so thankful that my visitors were not all once and mostly helpful.
Thank you very much for all the valuable advice. My kids are grown up now but I still watch your old videos about baby foods and motherhood.
Watching this I can't help but think how lucky your boys and their future partners are ❤️❤️ you are going to be the mother-in-law of dreams!!!
Your motherhood content has been so helpful to me throughout my pregnancy and first year. I’d love to see a video like this but focused on your regrets or things you would do again for the 3-6 year old stages. Would be so interesting!
Agree with everything...esp gut instinct...and visitors with first...just getting dressed was had for me after my first....comparing or worrying what others thought esp after my third....18 months apart....never confident....also trying to get all to bed on that schedule, I wish I would of rocked them to sleep or let them stay up and let them fall asleep relaxing on the couch....lots of anxiety for them and us parents at bedtime....love this video.....I cant believe they said not to nurse past 7 months...or that it was just for you! My last went until 5! Thanks for all this info!
I had the same kind of visions when I’ve been postpartum!! But after 5 kids I’ve learned it is definitely sleep deprivation . Your amazing Emily love your content!
Loved the video Emily! and appreciate how you credited the other youtuber for the idea
Absolutely loved this Emily! Perfect timing for me, I’m a first time Mum to my little boy who is 10 days old. So reassuring and I also love watching your old content for all the mumspiration! Thank you ❤️
Wow congratulations Fran 💙Thanks for watching xx
Yes to all of these! I also have 3 boys, and can relate to basically everything you shared.
Thank you for making great content and for always being so encouraging/motivating .♥️
This was so helpful! Thank you :)
Oh my God those visions you were talking about in 5th point. I had them alot.
This video is spot on!! I had my 3rd baby a few months ago, it’s been 11 years since my first and my regrets are the same as yours so this time I’m just following instinct. I said no to so many visitors, it’s lovely that they want to come but it means hoovering, cleaning the kitchen etc, no one invited me to their house which would have been a lovely break!
Good video for new mums! I’ve got 3 boys as well, and I regret not going with my gut on sleep. Mine all baulked at strict routine and they all needed contact to sleep, it took me a couple of years into motherhood to let it go, and glad I did. My boys all still need to fall asleep on me or next to me by night - by day they’re super independent, adventurous kids. It was worth letting them always sleep on my chest as babies and not sleep train them to sleep in their cot (because they hated it). Those baby years are short.
Oh God, I also had visions, thought I was the only one. Thanks for sharing.
These regrets totally resonate with me! I'm pregnant with my second and I'm going to try so hard not to obsess with sleep this time and I've already said I am going to be much stricter with visitors (and the length of time that they stay!) X
So agree with you at trusting your gut!! Please everyone do it 🙏🏻🙏🏻 if I didn’t trust my gut my 3 month old wouldn’t be here right now, after 2 ambulances and being sent home from the hospital twice I nearly didn’t go back to the hospital, but if I hadn’t we would have lost her that night as her oxygen levels were right down to 59% and her lung had collapsed from a bad chest infection aswell as bronchiolitis 😩 it’s crazy how quickly babies deteriorate! She’s now happy and healthy thank goodness
Most definitely your regrets are peculiar but definitely relatable. Thank you Ma.
Great video thanks! I started watching your videos before my first in 2019 & you always made me feel like I could do it (even in the thick of nap anxiety with my first) & to trust myself. My first was sleep trained, now I practically sleep on top of my second 🤣… you really have taught me that being a mom could be fun. Thank you for all the light these past few years. Keep it up.
I can relate to so much of this! Looking back I know I struggled with PPA and probably PPD. My only regret around this (bc it was out of my control) is not preparing for it ahead of time by making sure my loved ones knew the signs so they could help me bc when I was in it I didn’t really see how much I needed support.
This was me too. I wish I had educated myself and my loved ones about PPD, because I had no idea how much support I needed until I was diagnosed by my doctor 😊
@@ConstanceDunham dlsorry to hear this, what are the symptoms? Can you also get it in pregnancy? I have a lot of confusing symptoms but doctors say it's pregnancy hormos it's confusing me.
Could you please write the signs?
Ooh this was so interesting. Its amazing how much we learn from our 1st born. I can only imagine how painful the broken coccyx was (and still is for you) 😥
I've never heard of Delilahs channel, so I will go and give her channel a viewing, thank you 🥰
Hi Emily 😊. The sleep or nap advice... our twins who are now 17, I was very strict with routine, but they did nap wherever.. in the car, in the pram or in their cot, I honestly didn't care where they napped, just that they napped.😊, then our 8 year old - she never napped more than 30 min 🤦♀️. I think alot of new mums worry about milestones, but you are so right.. in their time!! Comparison is the thief of happiness.💚 Loss of Identity - oh yes..I became "the twins mom" and no one asked me how I was, it was always "how are the twins". Great video Emily 💚
I've seen you in the Channel Mums videos when I was following the weekly pregnancy milestones. Thank you for putting this video out there. I gave birth mid-Feb and my birthing position was lying on my back (though I tried on all fours but that didn't work for me). I think I've damaged my tailbone too. I had mentioned it to my midwife and they say it will heal but it's been 7 weeks already and I'm still incredibly sore. Watching this video has made me take action and make a GP appt for next week and get it properly checked out. Without your video I probably wouldn't have done anything. So THANK YOU!!!
Hi Emily, thanks for sharing your regrets and tips with all us mums. I once found the poem ‘If I had my child to raise over again’ by Diana Loomans in a magazine when my children were about 10 and 12 and cut it out and have kept it ever since. Kate and Will are now 24 and 26 but the sentiments behind the poem still resonate with me. We’re all so busy trying to get everything right that we sometimes forget the important things and to enjoy our children. Have a quick read of the poem when you get a minute. Love to all Rebecca xxx
Love your sincerety and open heart sharing. Thank you Emily. Please keep up with this great channel!❤🌷
So good! Your RUclips channel helped me a ton with becoming a mom, the advise to read about hypobirthing gave me a good direction in delivering a peaceful birth. Also I started a RUclips channel because of you too ! Thank you for sharing all your advice.
You are an amazing mummy! Love all your content. Keep doing you xx
Absolutely loved the video, when I had my daughter you were the first mum on RUclipsr I watched for packing for hospital bag. This was five years ago still watching your content. I absolutely love it so genuine, incredibly relatable. You always have the best advice . My regrets are all the same as yours. Thank you so much for sharing. X
Totally agree with the napping and hosting part. I did the same things as you did. My second was born during covid time so hosting wasn't really an issue
Parenting ideas from Emily are always on point...
Thank you so much for this honest video. I can completely relate to not speaking up enough. My labour was not progressing in the pushing stage and I didn't express myself enough.I pushed needlessly for hours because my daughter was at an angle in the birth canal. I ended up having a ventuose delivery and I now have a very weak bladder from the pressure of the pushing.
Haven't gotten through the whole video yet I had to pause to say this. How dare that health visitor say after 7 months you are just doing it for yourself. That is a ridiculous thing to say to a mum! I think now the WHO say 2 years. But it is 100% up to the mum. I hope she regrets that mindset and has educated herself on it!
Aw Emily thank you! Your comments are so relatable, especially the one about loss of identity. I’ve been feeling that so much, even though I love being a mum! It’s just good to know we are not alone and that things will get better xxx
Brill! What a top topic! I have many regrets too and I thought I was only the one..
Such good insights. Love your sit down chats 💗
I literally stopped what i was doing, while watching you in the background, to come here and comment.
Just an amazing and perfect video Emily.
Literally feeling like you are speaking my heart out.
Job well done mama.
Omg Im dying right now. This is the second time you mention a canadian youtuber that I follow. So awesome love her and her family!
Thank you so much for these reminders! I’m a mom of 2 boys under the age of 3. I am confident one day, feel like I can do it all and the next day my confidence crumbles to the ground as I sit in a pile of laundry and crumbs. My oldest REFUSES to use his potty!! My husband reminded me of the same thing, it won’t affect their life as an adult! Not a question on any form you have to fill out😂 love your videos and appreciate all your work you put into them💕
Great video very relatable. I’ve been watching ur videos for years and particularly like ur hack videos.
Ah glad you liked it Laura. Thanks for watching xx
I've already had 3 kids and we're done... my youngest is 6 but I still Loved this chat, I found it very interesting. We struggled with much of the same things as a mom of a baby.
I love your shirt so much!!! It is absolutely adorable and I also loved this video and the video idea!
“Accepting more help.” I am this mother, I still struggle a lot to let anyone else help or doing anything for me. I feel such guilt and anxiety about anyone doing anything for me. I now have 3 children under 5 and am feeling the strain so must get better at this but letting go is so hard for me, I really do feel I should be able to do it all even though I know I can’t. It’s a total battle I have with my brain constantly. X
Omg
This is such a great video, I remember so many of these things and I wish I’d trusted myself and went with my gut too.
I even remember getting up at 4am , cleaning the whole house, doing breakfast and lunches and just being manic
Anxious, gosh the things we do with our first child 🤦♀️
Thank you sweets 😘I first watched you when I was expecting my daughter 3years ago , “what’s in my hospital bag” so helpful! X
Thank you 😊
I have two children 2 year old and 4 month old and we are home all day by ourselves. I too really struggle with the feeling that I have to do absolutely everything by myself, the worst part of it, my partner expects it from me too. That is a big issue for us. Also I too feel that I lost myself in motherhood. I love my kids more than life, but motherhood is hard for me. Everyday I feel like I am giving them my all and at the same time it is not enough. I don't get much support from families of both sides, because they struggled but was fine, so I am not allowed to complain. This is what I chose, so deal whit it. So I am dealing with it, but really struggling. Thank you for sharing your experience, I really appreciate. With love, from Latvia!
This video is on-point!! So good 😍😍
Great video Emily. So vunerable and relatable. Those intrusive thoughts are part of postpartum anxiety, this includes not wanting people to do anything for the baby (including dad) and not wanting to leave the house. I suffered from this (didn't realise until I had my 2nd baby).
If people don't agree that's their problem. I am not even a mom yet i know that every mom knows what's best for HER baby! :) Good video! I don't even have kids but i'm intrigued haha since i'm in nursing school!
This video was super helpful, I have a 3yr old and 1yr old and some of these things resonate with me. Thankyou
It’s so easy to have mom guilt and have regrets. But with all the hormones and comparisons to other moms, you did the best you could. Having those regrets just simply means that you care….. you thought about how you wanted to be a mom and care for your babies the right way. Every new mom is navigating it the best they can.
Great video. I am now a gran and still have regrets, but you live and learn. And giving birth on your back seems so not right to me but I would never speak up. I was stitched with no pain relief as well and it was traumatic.
I now have the joy of grandchildren and feel so much more confident and happy.
I broke my coccyx after a fall down stairs. I agree, it's most painful when sitting for any length of time. A coccyx cushion has helped me a lot. Life's too short to have regrets; live in the moment as much as possible.
Thank you so much for ur motherhood content... I love watching ur videos and I I learnt alot for u😍
Much needed video thanx for this I have became mother for the second time and still learning 👍 😀 😊 watching this and having a cup of coffee ☕️ 😀 👌
Ah glad you like it Sonal. Thanks for watching xx
Love this video. I have 3 kids 2 girls and a boy and your videos of routines ECT from when your boys where smaller have moulded my hole parenting. I don't like reading so being able to wAtch your videos has given me so many ideas I always recommend you to friends who are new mummies... Thank you for sharing your journey 😊xx
Ah bless you Jade, such a sweet message 😘 Thanks for watching xx
Great Video Emily. I might do something like this in the future too. It's so interesting how us Mummy's always have regrets 🥰
Agree with all ! I have two boys 11 and 7 … with my first I followed the Gina Ford routines to the letter ! Even eating toast when the schedule said and letting visitors come round but they wouldn’t see the baby as he d be in his room, blackout blinds down fast asleep at 2pm! At the time I needed the strict routine but with my 2nd I was a lot more relaxed and enjoyed it more … both boys turned out the same but the youngest enjoys cuddles more than my eldest and I do sometimes question if that s because I followed the book so rigidly… Also trusting ur instinct ….. trust ur thoughts ! Still happens now , a friend recently compared me to a lioness as I protected my eldest & believe … it all works out in the end ! I also regret staying up to 1am freezing ice cubes of parsnips , suede & broccoli … he now eats none of those ! Lol! Food for thought ! X
YAY I was the first to view an like :) shows how much I like your videos
This was a good video. Informative and very relatable
Couldn't agree more with you, my sons only three but all of these things resonate with me. Definitely going to start putting these in to more practice. :)
This is great content. My kids are 28, 30 and 32 and long gone out of the nest. You want the best for your kids so it's easy to over think it. I wish I had savored the time when they were little more. Hindsight is 20/20 so I try not to worry about what I did wrong. I did more right than wrong, same as my mom.
Totally relate to the napping in the cot. I also rush home to make sure they in their cot
I'm a Mum of a nearly 5-year-old, a nearly 3-year-old and a baby who's 6 months old tomorrow. I relate soo much with everything you said, especially with the first baby. I love now, with the third one, the feeling that I actually know what I'm doing, it just gives you such confidence. I still worry. More than I should, probably, but I'm getting better. Thank you for this video, so relatable.
My first baby was a terrible sleeper. I went around and around in circles trying to get him to sleep better/longer and it was so stressful. I wish i had relaxed a little more and realised some babies sleep better than others.
I also regret not always going with my gut instinct due to other people telling me what i should and shouldnt do.
Having most the family around as soon as i came out of hospital after a c section as i was struggling with the pain and breast feeding, i kept going upstairs to feed because people were in my home which put me in more pain.
Pushing potty training when my 1st born wasnt ready as it caused tears for both me and my son.
Much more relaxed second time round. Shes 3 in a few days and im only just introducing the potty.
I wouldnt accept help with my 1st. I felt it was my job to do it all and i had to prove i could do it. I also didnt trust anyone else.
I love this video
Well done Emily - super relatable topics to start conversations 🥰 I wish l’d thought to take time for myself a little. Love your insights, they come from a loving and caring place. And yes, after bringing your newborn home- try to manage visitors in a way that works for you. Not yet is an option too 😊 Have a great week.
I think your comment about trusting your instinct/intuition is spot on. We need to trust ourselves more and not consider the medical profession as gods but as humans. Through joining rather belatedly an NCT group I discovered that I could give birth in a small maternity/convalescent home rather than hospital, and discovered that transition is a thing and important to know about (darkest before dawn). From said maternity unit I learned that taking 2 Arnica 30 on the hour every hour after birth helps the body to heal 🌼
My number 1 regret is wishing the years away.. the days are long but the years are quick. I would do anything to turn back time and go back to when my kids were babies.
Definitely making me emotional hearing all this!
I love that you have a shout out to Delilah. Both you and her are my most favourite RUclips mamas. I love that you watch her as well 🥰
Ah love her too Shawna. Thanks for watching xx
Hi Emily brilliant video as always love your videos keep up the amazing content xx
I think this is my favourite video of yours Emily 🤩 ❤️I love everything “babies and birth talk” when you said about the the vision of the van.. gosh I have them all the time with all 3 even with my 13year old I definitely worry way too much and make myself ill sometimes. Definitely agree you need a first aid course of even watch multiple videos online to educate yourself first I always panicked when weaning my babies that they’d choke and I wouldn’t know
What to do so I did course at our local library. Love love loved this video Thankyou Emily ❤️xxx
This is so relatable and so empowering Emily! Love hearing you speak like this ❤️
As a first time mum to a 9 week old. I really appreciate your honesty and sharing your experience. Agreed re visitors too soon! 🙄🙃
Really enjoyed this video! Thank you for sharing. I have a 4 year old daughter & 3 year old son, and so many points hit home for me. I am mostly glad I'm not the only one worrying about someone snatching my kids!. I actually thought I was overly paranoid and that living in SA was the reason for it but good to see it is actually normal to feel this way no matter where you live 😂😂
Can I just say that your first regret literally made me cry! 😭 the exact same thing happened to me and I have not heard of anyone who had this. I was in the first lockdown and felt so alone as I had broken by tailbone had no friends or family for support, my partner had to take 12 weeks off work to help me. I wasn’t made aware that being on your back this could happen. 😔 I wish you had done this video sooner ha. But you have made me feel normal that I am not the only one this happened too. Can I please ask as my worry is I can’t have a natural labour again as I was hypnobirthing and loved this journey and being able to breathe through my contractions, but worry this won’t be the case for my next one 😔 xxx
It made me sad to hear you had regrets. You have been a great mum and you only have look at your 3 beautiful boys to see
what a great mum you have been ❤️
I'm only nearly 11 weeks pregnant with my first baby so this was really helpful! ❤️