EP 37: Naked Life Story: Catherine Gray
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- Опубликовано: 26 окт 2024
- Catherine Gray is an award-winning writer and editor who found herself consistently drinking a “life-endangering amount of alcohol”. Catherine vulnerably and honestly shares her story with Annie as they discuss her former fears of what a dull sober life might look like and her realization of how sobriety is quite the opposite of dull.
Episode References:
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (amzn.to/2mA4TkM)
Catherine’s Website (www.unexpectedjoy.co.uk)
Catherine’s Instagram: @unexpectedjoyof
Catherine’s Book Recommendations:
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (amzn.to/2Abuidd)
Unwasted by Sacha Z. Scoblic (amzn.to/2DDQaxm)
Kick the Drink..Easily! by Jason Vale (amzn.to/2DA5M4T)
Dry by Augusten Burroughs (amzn.to/2DmlNh9)
Blackout by Sarah Hepola (amzn.to/2DgbyuT)
Welcome
Today I'm here with someone really special. Her name is Catherine Gray and Catherine Gray is the author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. I'm very lucky to have the early edition because I was actually able to give an endorsement for the book in the beginning of this book which was such an honor because Catherine, it's just such a brilliant book and I'm thrilled to have you on the show.
How It All Started
In my 20s, I was a writer and editor for Cosmopolitan and Glamour magazine. It was the coolest job ever. I could go to free drinks parties every night if I wanted to. And I did want to so I went to them all. I was just your archetypal party girl. I was mostly holding it together at work, getting promoted, doing quite well. Unfortunately, I started falling apart in my late 20s probably while working at Glamour. I'd already started falling apart before that-calling in sick to work, having to tell lies to get out trouble. I was incapable of being faithful to anyone because I was snogging men in blackouts and my friends would tell me afterwards and I would be horrified. I started trying to control alcohol. There was this beautiful golden notebook and I started a unit diary in it.
Controlling Alcohol
My aim in this Golden Notebook was to keep my drinking to just three nights a week and take four nights off. I was really into wine at that point. Later I would switch because I thought wine was the problem, not my drinking. So to keep it under three bottles of wine a week. I thought this is going to do it-this notebook is going to fix my drinking. It was such a bust. It just didn't work at all. Every week I was drinking more than three nights. I was mostly drinking five nights a week. Occasionally I think one week I took three nights off drinking and I was like woohoo, but that was one week out of many many weeks. My intake was sliding out of control. Some weeks I could manage 40 units but most weeks it was 50 units or 60 units.
We Have A Problem
I knew there was a problem. So I stopped keeping the diary. That was my solution and I moved to other ways to try and moderate. I banned going to the free drinks parties and just spent a lot more money on booze. I got a gym membership. My thought was that going to the gym would fix it. It didn't because then I started telling myself that a treat should be wine after the gym and every effort... then I switched to cider because I thought that would be better than wine. And that didn't work either. So it was becoming clear that I wasn't able to moderate. It just wasn't something within my grasp and my drinking was increasing. It was time for a huge change.
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
The first time you do anything sober is the hardest. It just get easier and easier after that. The first time I went to a gig, the first time I went to a birthday party in a pub, the first time I went to a wedding was hard. I mean of course it's hard, I hadn't done it for 21 years, sober. Honestly, I hadn't been to a party sober. So if you look at anything, if you try to suddenly change the way you do something, it's going to be difficult. It would be like trying to write with your left hand if you're right handed. It's just about learning a new skill in a way, learning how to do things sober. For me that meant finding the unexpected joy of being sober.
Keep Listening
Tune into the complete podcast to hear Catherine's full story and how she discovered The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober.
I am reading Catherine Gray’s book now and it’s a joy to read. It’s also kept me from relapsing for the past few days. I relate to her addiction in many ways and it’s encouraging to know she’s overcome it and is much happier
Having just read The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, and doing the wonderful TNM 30 day Alcohol Experiment. I just watched this interview again (first saw about 3 months ago). It's even more profound for me. Great interview. Thank you Annie Grace and Catherine Gray.
Thank you!
This is a wonderful interview, I respect both of these ladies. I am 11 months alcohol free Today!! I am currently working the APRIL PATH group (The Luckiest) on step 192. This is the longest that I've been alcohol free in 40+ years I started drinking at 13/14 years old. Only stopping while I was pregnant , I have two children. Because the PATH is a year long program built on scientific facts with up-to-date psychology and neuroscience is the reason this is sticking with me. The knowledge that I am receiving is incredible! With every lesson I learn something new. Than you for introducing Catherine Gray to us!! This podcast is so helpful and full of information!! Thank you Catherine for the book suggestions! I look forward to reading your book and the others! Thank you Annie Grace for changing my life!! I feel that I am living an authentic life again. I just want to spread my new found knowledge with everyone.
So delighted that the PATH is bringing you freedom and sticking with you!
This is an very good book with a lot of insight. I love that its from a woman's point of view. Some of the tips for dealing with feelings are excellent and doable
Such a great book!
Great interview. I really enjoyed Catherine's book so nice to put a voice to her writing
Reading it at the moment. The book has shocked me. I am horrified and mortified at myself as i can relate. I was one step away from being an alcoholic. I was the life and soul of the party. Mr Blackout. I thought it was a laugh for years. Thank The Lord I didn't take that final step.
Grateful you didn't!
Have read both books and so finding this video was v cool. Thank you 😊😎 I am grateful to myself every morning I wake up without the depressive hangover... not drinking feels like giving myself a heavy dose of love and compassion.. just lovely xxx 💖🕊🌱🌞🤸🕉🌻🌹 PS a heavy dose which is about 30 years overdue! Learning to love yourself is in my experience kryptonite for destructive/addictive behaviour... but I know it's a heckofalot more complicated than that! X
We recently reshared this one and it is still a fan favorite!
Great interview. Thank you both for your books. I intend of reading them both again.
@ Catherine talks about how the message of "being drunk is better and more fun" and woven into our lives. I immediately thought of the movies M*A*S*H and The Shining.
In M*A*S*H Hawkeye and Trapper's first impretion of Frank Burns is when he says he doesn't drink. Hawkeye says, "OMG. I think he means it." In "The Shining" when Jack Torrance is sitting at the hotel bar, he makes a toast before drinking his whiskey: "Here's to five miserable months on the wagon, and all the irreparable harm it has caused me." Then he takes a drink and gets a look on his face like he just shot heroin. (Not to mention the 70's TV show in which doctors drink martini's in the morning....
Thank you for this I could relate to her story so much. And thanks for the book list I wrote them all down and gonna try to find them
Wonderful book!!
Thank you!
Got the book and I struggle to put it down, it is absolutely brilliant!
Awesome to hear that!
inspiring interview, this will inspire me on my journey. Gratitude 🙏
Very interesting. Nice to put a face and a voice to the writer. Good to hear abstinence among Millennials is continuing to rise.So much I hear about this generation makes me think the future is in good hands.
I think so too!
Heading to Rehab I the 24 th and will by buy both books to help me along the next 16 weeks.
Thankyou.
Hope it went well for you brother 🙏
"You can't fail if you keep trying"
Truth!
This was one of my favorites
So glad to hear that!
Reading your book
❤❤❤
thanks great interview.
Thanks for listening!
Life changing!
Happy to hear that!
Or can’t even get 1 day😞
That's so many of us until one day everything just clicks!