Wow! I am in awe of you. Such a honest and heart warming experience. I love your videos and was recently quite surprised that you were part Nigerian. Thanks for your story and your honesty. You are a breathe of fresh air. I hope you get to understand the impact your story will have on others' lives. I am forwarding this video to my girls. The older starts medical school this fall and the younger's still in college. This video will show them that they are not alone and that with hard work and perseverance, they can achieve what they set out to do. Your story will show my girls that their difficult experience with their dad and the hardships our family went thru, should not hinder their future goals. Look at you! You are a shining example of how one can beat all odds and be a success, not only academically, but all around. I got hooked on your videos bc they are fun and beautiful, but more so now, knowing your struggles, perseverance and accomplishments. Thank you.
Your dad is a great man. Jealousy or being possessive is not a cultural thing, but human. My Danish girlfriend gets upset when she doesn't know where I am and neither does she like me having female friends. U are a bit too harsh on the poor man. Can u imagine the pain he would have suffered from the experience of losing ones family. u should have empathy and understand what he went through. Its not just all about u. Remember u guys left him,:not the other round. He should be the bitter one. u are lucky to have him as ur dad.
@@dapofam5549 I don't think u understand being trapped in a culture and land where u don't agree with, and also being controlled and abused for daring to challenge anyone especially the patriarch. In England where they started their lives, everything was done, d English way. Until they went back to Nigeria, the mother wasn't Nigerian, and all of a sudden, she has no say over her children. This is a problem with people who married foreign wives. Hope u better start telling ur jealous girlfriend that if u ever go and live in Nigeria, she will become a subject to what ur parents says, which will become final. Many Nigerian men, don't cut d apron tie. For fear of being disowned or cut off from d will.
Great to hear that you finished secondary school in Nigeria. Nigerian Secondary schools has produced great men and women over the world. Great story. Your mother is a smart woman to succeed with taking all three of you back. It is a man's world in the Northern Nigeria. Take very good care of your Mum, she is a strong woman who put her children first.
That is an amazing testimony of God’s love and grace. Every bit of your past, good or bad help you develop into the beautiful woman, wife and mom that you are. Gos bless you and thank you for sharing.
I cant believe I watched it to the end! That degree is so beautifully framed! I feel like I know you better now...your immigration story is very interesting. Your mom did a good job of relocating her kids
Thank you! Yes it was a long video/story but I needed to talk about something I often keep to myself for fear it will upset my father. I still feel conflicted about seeing my father but I hope one day to visit Nigeria and see many of my cousins and places I lived & went to school! Now you can understand why I love watching your videos which give me a small window to a place & people I used to know well. -Habiba
Habiba, You are such an inspiration! I love the fact that you opened up a part of your life to strangers, and you didn't have to. I love reading your blogs, and looking at your videos. Keep up your beautiful journey. You are a "minority" of being authentic and true! I love you! So keep being an inspiration to others!
Well told story!! Please write a book! I enjoyed hearing your story as I am currently dating a Nigerian and I know things have changed, but there are still some strict residuals of the old traditional way of life. I could watch this over and over. It was like a movie!
By an act of God, I stumbled on your channel. Fortunately for me, the first video I watched was that of your father's visit to the US after 25 years, as you said. Secondly, I am from northern Nigeria and for the first time on RUclips I deeply related with someone's story, please don't get me wrong. But I mean it when I say, I found your stories relateable because your experience and mine seem to rhyme in many ways. I am greatly happy for you also because you and your mum were able to "escape" the grip of northern culture to the United States and you are able to be what you are today. This is a very big feat considering that I saw within my family how my aunts and nieces were given out in marriage barely before the age of 20. Decisions are always in the hands of elders and local customs and traditions. Even as I type this, I am only grateful that as a young man my extended family supported my education up to the level that I am pursuing a dissertation degree in the United States. Anyway, I shall continue to watch your videos now and hope to share stories of our cultural inhibitions in northern Nigeria and hope that with the passage of time, things will be alright. I am your latest suscriber. I shall share your channel with my family back in Nigeria as I am also from the Zaria axis. I am sure your videos will inspire many within my extended family; I see in you my sister. My regards to your husband, and your beautiful kids.Thanks for sharing your story. Sannu da aiki (Weldone! in Hausa).
This is my first time I ever shared a space in any form.or fashion with anybody from Northern Nigeria both growing up in Nigeria and living in US. Wao, hope your desertation went well.
You guys have such a gentle spirit and your Dad bought gifts for everyone, how precious . You are a gem for honoring your Father the way you did. so beautiful. I loved every moment of this video.
Great story line my Nigerian sister. We are smart and work hard. It really showed in your upbringing. How l wish my daughter would start watching your vlog. So proud of you.
Thanks for sharing. Your mum did a very good job on you guys, the moral upbringing she gave you reflects in the mannerism of your speech. You narrated your story in a dignified way. I am from south west Nigeria and i know the northern culture is very conservative.
This is one heck of a story. Luckily for me both my parents were Ibo Christians but I was born in USA and we relocated back to Nigeria in 1975 when life was relatively good there. I was sent back to USA at 16 to attend college so I relate to a lot of your background and especially being naive about the nexus between dark skin color and progress with respect to blacks in America. I'm a practicing lawyer in the DC area and I'm grateful to both my parents (now deceased) for setting me up with education as a platform for success. My humble advice if you haven't already done so is to reconnect with your Dad. You made the best decision for you no doubt but your Dad was only being the best version of himself possible within the limitations of culture and religion. I'm thankful to God that you've made it but you should embrace your Dad (as you've done for your mom) because he's played a massive role in the strong positive woman you've become today. Anyway thanks for sharing and God bless you. 🙏🏾
Nice video. Guess I should educate viewers about Nigeria of the 70's. Most Nigeria that left home to travel to another country only did so for education, and most (>95%) returned home to pick up jobs waiting for them as well a Peugeot car. The civil service was super efficient. We had health inspectors visiting homes to ensure a good living environment. That was the early days of the oil industry in Nigeria. Life was good. My father studied in the UK in the 60s and he returned to Nigeria. I had an uncle who also studied in UK and came home with a young German wife. They had two of their kids in Nigeria. That was around early to mid-70's. Then the Nigerian currency was stronger than the US dollar and was almost at par with the UK pound. Many Nigerians traveled to UK for summer holidays and they almost certainly return home. Though infrastructures were largely limited to major cities but life was simple and standard of life was okay. Then Nigeria was an African pride that promoted and supported many freedom causes all over Africa. And to surprise you, healthcare was good to the point that the Saudi King then was a usual guest at the University College teaching hospital in Ibadan. Save for corrupt politicians, Nigerian story would have been so different. Finally, it is very unlikely that you would find someone, most especially a man from northern Nigeria living in the West permanently. I am Nigerian that left Nigeria purposely for grad studies, and have have lived outside Nigeria for almost 20 years now. I have only ran into a northern Nigerian man once, and also one female that is a professor in Canada. They are very conservative and if well educated would certainly have a much better life in Nigeria because their ethnic group have more political power and access to lucrative jobs, simply because less northerners are literate, and if you are a literate northerner, certainly your community would need you more. I edited this comment to include a RUclips video showing Lagos in the 1960s because someone here said I am lying, obviously because it does not fit the lies they were fed that Africans used to live on trees. ruclips.net/video/At6zO21Cjog/видео.html
Wow Habiba, this is really profound, thank you for sharing your story. As a Nigerian I can relate to what you are saying, especially about the pressures that cultural proprieties, judgement and scrutiny can place on a young woman. Having been in the US for a little over two years, I can also relate to the cultural and social isolation, seeing as all the cues are different from what I am used to. I was raised in a different culture than you were and even though the Igbos are somewhat more liberal than the Hausas, the society has essentially the same expectations for young women. At some point, you begin to miss the the times when people were overly concerned about your affairs. Having left Nigeria as an adult, it has been a huge adjustment for me but I have learned a lot. On your family and dad, watching my brothers and other family members has given me some insight into the dynamics of marriage and the extended family -and you know that in Nigeria you marry the whole family, good, bad and ugly. I am not speaking as an expert and will not try to take your experience away from you or tell you how to feel however, I have seen people face a lot of pressure and animosity about marrying someone from a different tribe or religion more so, a different continent/country. It couldn't have been easy for your mom being the outsider in the eyes of others. It also will not be strange, if your dad faced some pressure from his family about the appropriateness of his choice in a partner hence his effort to control whom his family interacted with. Different people react to all this in different ways and sometimes hurt their family in a bid to control the situation. I bet it is easy for me to say because I wasn't there but whatever the case may be, thank you for sharing your story.
Wow that's a very big Degree, I've been watching Your videos since 11pm, its 3:25am and I'm still watching. You're special, Your story is, and I relate very much.
I stumbled on your video and the title and decided to pop in and listen. You were very enjoyable. I am Caribbean from Barbados that was raised in Brooklyn in a strong Caribbean cultural. I grew up in the late '60s during Vietnam time when black identity was alive and many of my generations who wanted to move back to Africa and learn where were we came from. During my teenage years, I read a lot about Africa and always desired to travel there at some point in my life. Well, when I went off to college; out of state; I met my first African sister from The Gambia. I could not stop wanting to be around her daily asking lots of questions about her country and West Africa in general. Being that she was in the state alone, there were other Africans in her same situation who planned to be together as a family during school breaks and the summers back in NY from other schools such as Columbia, NYU who were brilliant. I would find myself spending all of my summers and Christmas holidays time surrounded by my African family as well. What a wealth of experience. I knew then that I wanted to marry a brother from Africa although my parents wanted me to marry a Caribbean. I also had family who migrated to England from Barbados. I would love to meet you one day in person when I return home to NY to continue my story. Hoping to catch the next chapter of your beautiful story. Evangaline Brenda Howard Bus-swofie
It's been very inspiring Habiba. Hard work, Focus, Commitment, Resilience, and Faith are written all over your story; you're in deed a blessing. I wish you, Kenton, and the family - the very BEST in all things. Thanks for sharing.
I support your suggestion to Habiba. Writing a book and telling her story will surely inspire more youngsters especially now that things are not so wonderful in northern Nigeria with all the unrest. From the book, we can graduate by adapting the story for a movie.
Literally in tears listening to your beautiful story. I am a single 37 year old LPN working on my cleasses for the PA program. Thank you so much for sharing and giving such great encouragement. May God continue to bless you and your beautiful family.
Thanks for sharing. I wish that my children would read your story. The part of your experiences that is similar to those of my children are changing from Nigerian school to American school system. They completed high school in Nigeria and thought that they were going to enter college or university as they call it in Nigeria. They were not allowed to enter partly because they were under age for college and partly because they were required to submit their grades from high school in Nigeria. Those who know Nigerian standard operation procedure (spo) knew that to obtain such documents from the school authorities could take more than two years (that is if the student bribes from getman all the way to the school principal for legitimate grade). Family members who reside outside of the USA and who knew nothing about the school system in America told my children that they love them more and that they care for them more than me. That i was decieving when i told them to go two more years in high school yet pass out at the age of 18yrs. My children believed they people who told them what they wanted to hear. I stood my ground and there came irreconcilable differences that lasted over eight years. Thanks to God that we were here in America. They could not do more than to hate me for a while and come to realize that i made the right decision for them. The two years that they did in the American high school opened their eyes into seeing the different lifestyles in the American society. They learned that not all "shes" refers to female or behave as the female they grew up with. They graduated in Engineering(MA)and Pharmacy(pharmD) respectively.
Great story. I was born in Kenya to an American mother and Kenyan father they also split up years later because of cultural struggles. We moved to America when I was 10. I then moved on my own to the UK as an adult and have been here 5 years.
Beautiful video!! as l watched l felt proud of all the strong and selfless women who always sacrifice soo much to put their kids first in the face of challenges... God bless our mothers!!
Thanks a bunch for sharing your story with us Habiba. I am so happy for where you are at today especially in the context finding fulfillment and comfort. As a Nigerian, (though from the south west) I totally understand what you went through. I just feel so sorry that your parents' relationship had to end that way - knowing that they loved each other so much. I wish you more joys in life. And lest I forget, you are very beautiful. Good luck and stay blessed.
Thank you soooooo much for this. My daughter has pre admission to Cornell. She is the grandaughter of an African immigrant (Ethiopia.) I appreciate this video as well as your story.
I’ve been watching more of your recent videos until I watched one of your cooking videos and stumbled upon this video. Thank You for telling your story.
I totally love your honesty, this's how we should be! I'm Nigerian too i see nothing bad you telling people the truth about you, i think we are mature enough to understand how someone feel and see things in different ways! Thanks for sharing really enjoyed watching. Xoxo
I love your honesty! I admire you and Ken!! I think you are incredibly brave! You are an amazing wife, mother, sister, daughter! I love the food journeys! 😂😍
Hi!!!! I’m your 6000th subbie🎊... found you on Instagram and I love your page!!! I love your mix Jamaican and Nigerian!!! I’m from Trinidad and Tobago 🇹🇹☺️
Without seeing this video, I knew your Mom is a Jamaican woman. I didn’t see Indian??? I hope that You realized that your warrior spirit comes from your mother Jamaican stock and your Nigerian stock!!! Wow, You are amazing and a true fighter.🥊🥊🥊
Well Habiba refers to her mother and her mother’s family as Caribbean, her grandfather she refers to as her “Jamaican” grandfather, so it’s not clear what her mother ethnicity is, if she is 100% Jamaican. IF your heritage on your mother’s side is Jamaican, please say “Jamaican”. Jamaicans 💚💛🖤 to stand out.
With this long hair her mother has she is Indian mixed or Caucasians mixed but not black. Her father is Arab as both Hausa and Fulanis are not indigenous to Africa.
I love your articulation of words. Speaking with such care so as not to offend any side of your family. Very nice. My dad was Nigerian (he died last year) and my mom is Russian and we left Nigeria without telling my dad. I lost contact with my dad for a couple of years. When we eventually got in contact again, our relationship was unfortunately never the same again.
Thank you for your expiring story, you are a Nigerian and shall always be a Nigerian. You have the blood of competitiveness, cleverness, ruggedness,etc. God bless you and your family.
Amazing story thanks for sharing! I am the same mix my mum is Jamaican and my dad is Nigerian and I was born and raised in the UK but I moved alone to Canada in 2018. 💜
I can't believe I sat her and watched your wonderful story, the variety of changes in your life connects like at puzzle. I am so proud and happy for you. I too am a product of the English school system.
Hey, Habiba, I really enjoyed your video. I am a Nigerian in studying Msc Social Work in UK. I related with the part of feeling like a Minority, losing my comfortable life in Nigeria to a very patchy life in UK. Your journey resonates with my experience. You have so inspired me.I love you Sis. Thank you.
Your story do inspired me . I admire you and your mum did a very good job by taking you and your brothers to America l give her a thumb up. Despite everything your dad too did very well by coming to meet you and your family in America. I think that's his forgiveness. The family is now bonded. Thanks be to God . So dear sis Habiba well done God bless you.
This is an old story but I am just now seeing it. I hope you have written a book by now because you are a good storyteller. Besides that, I am very happy you left Nigeria when you did. I am an Ibo woman who sent my children to Nigeria to get them to know their culture, BIG MISTAKE! Your mom is a strong woman and I admire her dedication and strength. She was loyal to her husband while knowing that she owes her children the future. Overall, I feel you have a lot of sensitivity for your dad, you gave him his due respect. As an Ibo woman, we respect our parents but I tell you one thing, my parents ain't gonna hold me back as long as I have options.
YOU NARRATE YOUR STORIES SO ELOQUENTLY. YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR OWN TV HOST SLOT LIKE OPRAH. I ALSO APPLAUD YOU FOR YOUR HUMBLENESS AND HONESTY IN WELCOMING YOUR FATHER AND RECONNECTING WITH HIM. SOME PEOPLE DONT GET THAT SECOND CHANCE. GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY KEEP THE VLOGS COMING 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿❤️
Oh my goodness, there are so many similarities in our lives. Thanks for sharing, I can only imagine that soul searching involved in that decision. Just found you and looking forward to more 💚
I went to Roman Catholic Schools in the 60s and 70s and there was corporal punishment and public humiliation. It's not just limited to Africa or emerging and developing worlds. They stopped eventually.
Oh my God! I love your true story. Thank God for your mom. She is a great woman and she instilled greatness in you. I happy for you and your family escape. This will help some people.
I'm from the Northern part of Nigeria as well and moved to the States; thanks for sharing your story. I can certainly relate on several levels; both from your Father's perspective, and understanding the relationship dynamic of your parents which I've experienced in my relationships as well.
I am honored to know you and glad you were able to tell your life story in such a calm and understanding way. God Bless you forever. Victory with Jesus.
This sounds like my West indian Aunt who met her Nigerian husband in England. She lived in Nigeria with her 3 kids but ended up leaving him because he was Muslim and had other wives. The culture gets in the way of love.
Blessings dear. I appreciate everything, every word, every experience and your rewards gain due to being so diligent and having a strong support from the maternal side of your family. I also appreciate your experience and challenges you met along the way as the daughter of a Nigerian father. True, the experiences of life with a person of Afrikan descent is challenging but very respectful at the same time because truly, it is wh you are before life became colonized by robbers. Peace my sister, I too am rewarded for my experience with a Ghanaian man and family no matter how many times (few, but still) have had my nerves twisted. I love this man with every fiber of my ligaments.
Good day to you Habiba I've only just discovered your channel today 5th March 2019 thank you soooo much for your Autobiography 😄 that's what i call it I've been riveted listening to you That I've subscribed to your channel ..... Papa need forgiveness he did what he did with the knowledge and understanding of that Era Bless you for welcoming him into your lovely home🙏
Your father should have found a way to be a father to his children. However, your mother is not immune from blame either. You have spent a lifetime being told her side of the story. Just remember that every story has two sides; both should be weighed against each other. All the best.
Thank you sherwood! I didn't like the part when she told how bad the marriage was... 16 years is a long time to be in a very bad marriage according to her for the fact that her mum had the privilege to be brought up in the west and seemingly he didn't abandon them if he moved his family back home... Every story has its side for sure.
@@infinitig2013 You are right. However, if you don't want people to criticize your story, don't put it on a public platform. You can't expect to only receive praise on RUclips.
@@infinitig2013 Except that this video was uploaded precisely because she wanted us to look. That being said, you could have just looked away when you encountered my and other comments with which you disagree.
This was a very interesting story. It's interesting that you mentioned that you came from a country where everyone who ever accomplished anything was black like you so you never felt restricted by your race or thought much about it. Whereas in the U.S. we still celebrate the "first black" this or that. Black success still seems rare for some. Have you done any mentoring work for underprivileged black children?
As a Nigerian I felt the same when I moved to the UK did not even realise I was black because it's not even a thing back home. Struggled initially with celebrating Black History Month i mean I get that American History is why it needs to be done but it is very strange coming from a country where you don't even have to think about being the first black anything.
@@nkjv12 Well I have to think about being black all the time. I have to think whether a certain hair color will deem me a "ghetto black girl" or if I talk to loud or act too silly I will be labeled ratchet. My race and ethnicity is always looked at especially if I'm the only black person around.
@@kikikareema5912 I am agreeing with you, that is why I said initially I struggled with celebrating Black History month. I have grown and learnt that I have priviledges not everyone has the chance to experience. I think what people fail to realise is that it takes a long time for an immigrant, regardless of where they are from or colour to get their head around their new adopted country and really start to understand the culture of the new country.
Very inspiring.Your mum was very strong and supportive, thank God for her strong will and support. I am from Lagos Nigeria so I understand your experience.I am going to share your video my my kids, two are grown and living in the UK. The last is 14 and going to school there for the first time. Your experience on transitioning and handling racism would be very useful for him. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
Truly inspiring story, I will definitely buy your book if you write one, your mum did an amazing job with her kids, I think you should visit your dad to talk things through if he is willing. You are a positive inspiration.
Wow! Amezine story I am proud of all that you have accomplished. I undertand what you went thru since I myself been a Latino woman was also a minoroty. I was born in Puerto Rico and my parents migrated to Brooklyn, New York in 1963.
I have been enjoying your videos since I watched your first one were you received your dad at the airport and listening to your story how life was in Nigeria with your biracial up bringing, that reflected my memory back to how life was then in the 70s in my native country of Sierra Leone. A strong Muslim family dictating the hell out of my @ our life as children, our dad who was the decider of everything in our life and moooooore stories. But thanks for sharing your own your honest experience to the world. It's very amazing and I truly enjoyed it.
This is the second of your videos which I've watched, first being , Meeting my Nigerian father. I'm glad the videos came in that order, because I know you met him again. Your story is an interesting story!
I’m quite happy for you for whom you’ve turned out to be. Quite exciting! I watched your videos on your dad’s visit to America. I found them interesting but curious to know why your parents are separated. I wondered why your dad would abandon his children. I was almost calling him “wicked” until I watched this video. I’ve come to the conclusion that any father could do that. Your leaving Nigeria without your dad’s knowledge was offensive to him ... and you influenced that. You confided so much in your mother without discussing your future with your very educated and exposed daddy who might not have succumbed to your early marriage. He would have protected you and also go to give you the best of education. And like many of his peers that I met as a practicing journalist in Nigeria, he might have aided your going to study in the US eventually. Your leaving would have broken his heart. You were all he had. I’m sure he would have become a subject of ridicule. The jealousy and unpleasantness in your parents’ marriage are normal in marriages, be it in Nigeria or anywhere. I’m happy you “guys” have made up. Congrats.
No excuse here! Men need to step up and Raise there Children, period! Being Muslim,he already knew culturally it would not workout. A Muslim and a non Muslim,why did he marry Habiba's mother in the first place? He went on to have more wives afterwards anyways.Really! Stop defending this rubbish behavior.30 years without seeing you're children is a shame!
The problem was not your father or mother ,but two things 1.different cultures. 2.different religions. So it would be hard for two people to stay together.
If I were you Habiba , I will go see that man and have some form of peaceful closure with the man I dont know very well ( Your father).I believe it will make him happy to see you one last time and to give you his blessings.Tomorrow he will not be there but leave him with a memorabilia about you.Keep well and take care Habiba.
I agree. While I sure understand you, and your mum's decision to leave Nigeria, your dad was left heart broken and betrayed. Believe me, he must have had a lot of fights with his family to afford you as much freedom as you got, so you can imagine the mockery and I told you so that came flooding in after you all left. I am sure the humiliation from his family and friends would have made it even tougher on him. He practically lost over 15years of his life and love in one day without a notice. I am sure if you asked him, it probably felt like 4 of his loved once died suddenly, at least when you loose love once through death people will console you, in his case he was mocked. This is a tough story. I totally get both sides as you would have felt like a living dead had you stayed. I hope time has given you all the opportunity to heal. Thanks for shearing your story. Your story teaches, love, strength, persistence, dealing with differences, I can go on and on. There should be a movie on this. :)
Your story is very insightful and it touches a lot of areas including how the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side, not to look past love between the cultures, how a true mother hen will go to any length to protect her chicks... How hard work and perseverance pays off!!!
I am a Nigerian in the USA. I love your story. Thank you. I am also in the medical field with a long story. The good thing about going to school in Nigeria is that it made us able to withstand any competitive school in the world. Also racism was a shock to me. It is very unfortunate that racism exists in a beautiful country like the United States, which is a melting pot to all nationalities.
You understand. The same way some find corporal punishment at nigerian schools aboherent is the same way 3rd world countries find racism silly in western world.
People also should not wonder why African Americans arent performing at a higher level. Its easier to push against a culture when you are cherished, protected, and financed outside of it. African ppls have a reprieve from the racism because they have somewhere/someone(s) to escape to.
@@nicolem2877 African Americans too have escape route if they want. It is called connecting with African brothers and sister. There are African AMericans like that.
Thinking as I watch, what my life was like during the years that you mentioned. Your life story is so enthralling! And I remember the Medical programs - my mother through her business sponsored some students from our church. She opened the first Black Nurses Registry in 1934. She was a RN, RIP 🕊 I Left NYC in 1973 for the military. I am so encouraged by your story as well. Thanks for the reminders!! Beautiful life!! Blessings to you!!
🥰 Awww Thank you for watching one of my older videos! Hope you also watched the ones about my fathers visit to get more of the story. Love learning about your mums story as well! 😃
I didn't know my skin color mattered until i landed in USA. Coming from Africa we are so naive, but still competitive because we know we are capable to do anything. Our education foundation also prepares us to compete in any school or college in USA.
@teresia wachira But the goal is and should be that African universities can compete/exceed western standards other wise Africans are only improving the status of western universities therefore it appears the African university education is inferior. In my opinion I'm certain that education in Africa is far more superior. As an American descendant of Africans enslaved I cringe when I hear an African brag about their Western education. We must do better for our children.
African are not the only people who immigrated here, so stop with the b.s. the Asian are also doing great and some Hispanics. People from the island as well.
@@CharleneWithrow Unfortunately we African's had no 'formal education' system before the Whitemen came. We had no books, alphabet system etc. Most of the education we have today are completely a Western system of education and sincerely speaking our education tends to be 'inferior' as governments virtually spend no money on education and there are no systems to monitor the quality of education offered. For the African elite and those who can afford it, they usually send their kids to these universities in Europe and USA because their kids will get the best education the world will offer
Amazing narrative, all from the heart. Very very interesting. As an African from Sierra Leone living in the UK, I can relate to some of your story. Good on you👍🏽👍🏽
Your video is a blessing and I'm proud of you and the sensitivity of your heart to forgive your dad and welcome him for Thanksgiving in your home. You have s lovely family. God bless you and your Family.
You have a beautiful spirit! I loved listening to your story, I’m Nigerian as well but was born in the United States. I’m also a PhD student at Cornell now!!
This is awesome madam. Am a Nigerian and i could understand what you went through in Nigeria. Thanks for the video. We hope you will help the less privilege in Nigeria to come out of their own phobia especially in the Northern part of the country. God bless you more
Very good!! I am an Ibo (christian) from Eastern Nigeria married to an an English (white) girl. The plan was to go back to Nigeria after we had children but our second child was Downs Syndrome so going back to Nigeria was a NO, NO cos the support facilities just were not there. I ended up a single parent to three children, 2, 6 and 10 after my wife died of brain tumour. My (white) mother in law would have married off my daughter at 16. So it is not just in Nigeria that this way of thinking does/do exist. My parents in law were not "highly" educated. Even as I write this in 2019, my wife was the first and only person in her family to be educated beyond secondary school let alone being a university graduate and I, too, was the first graduate in my family. The relationship between my parents in law and I deteriorated so much so that when she died I had an EMAIL telling me that she had died. By the way my parents in law were not supportive after my wife died. Neither the (grand)children nor I knew that she was not well and do not know where she is buried. I often wondered and wonder constantly what would have been different ( for my family and children) if my wife were alive. I am left wondering if our stories are similar in some respects, as in the the culture, the heartache etc... ..Hmm
Wow this is rough. May you and these beautiful children be abundantly blessed...may your store housr never be empty...may they be a blessing to you and others and do great things for others in Jesus name.
I’m an American Women living in Michigan with my Nigerian husband. I’ve never lived in Nigeria, I’ve just visited. I could not imagine moving from Nigeria, from a financially comfortable situation, to New York. I couldn’t even imagine moving from Michigan to New York. Everything there is SO expensive. I commend your mom for making the move, a lot of us wouldn’t have had the courage to do it.
I can relate to your story. Because I am from the Nigeria. Born and brought in the northern part of Nigerian. But originally i'm from the East part of Nigeria so I can relate to story. I understand what you are talking about. I live in Europe now
Wow! I am in awe of you. Such a honest and heart warming experience. I love your videos and was recently quite surprised that you were part Nigerian. Thanks for your story and your honesty. You are a breathe of fresh air. I hope you get to understand the impact your story will have on others' lives. I am forwarding this video to my girls. The older starts medical school this fall and the younger's still in college. This video will show them that they are not alone and that with hard work and perseverance, they can achieve what they set out to do. Your story will show my girls that their difficult experience with their dad and the hardships our family went thru, should not hinder their future goals. Look at you! You are a shining example of how one can beat all odds and be a success, not only academically, but all around. I got hooked on your videos bc they are fun and beautiful, but more so now, knowing your struggles, perseverance and accomplishments. Thank you.
I really appreciate your comment, Thank You!
Your dad is a great man. Jealousy or being possessive is not a cultural thing, but human. My Danish girlfriend gets upset when she doesn't know where I am and neither does she like me having female friends. U are a bit too harsh on the poor man. Can u imagine the pain he would have suffered from the experience of losing ones family. u should have empathy and understand what he went through. Its not just all about u. Remember u guys left him,:not the other round. He should be the bitter one. u are lucky to have him as ur dad.
Yes Oyams you’ve said all the words in my heart !
@@dapofam5549 I don't think u understand being trapped in a culture and land where u don't agree with, and also being controlled and abused for daring to challenge anyone especially the patriarch. In England where they started their lives, everything was done, d English way. Until they went back to Nigeria, the mother wasn't Nigerian, and all of a sudden, she has no say over her children. This is a problem with people who married foreign wives. Hope u better start telling ur jealous girlfriend that if u ever go and live in Nigeria, she will become a subject to what ur parents says, which will become final. Many Nigerian men, don't cut d apron tie. For fear of being disowned or cut off from d will.
Verygoodtoyou
Great to hear that you finished secondary school in Nigeria. Nigerian Secondary schools has produced great men and women over the world. Great story. Your mother is a smart woman to succeed with taking all three of you back. It is a man's world in the Northern Nigeria. Take very good care of your Mum, she is a strong woman who put her children first.
That is an amazing testimony of God’s love and grace. Every bit of your past, good or bad help you develop into the beautiful woman, wife and mom that you are. Gos bless you and thank you for sharing.
Your story is very great. It would make an impactful film. Ÿour Mother is a strong woman. Treat her like the queen she is. ❤❤❤
I cant believe I watched it to the end! That degree is so beautifully framed! I feel like I know you better now...your immigration story is very interesting. Your mom did a good job of relocating her kids
Thank you! Yes it was a long video/story but I needed to talk about something I often keep to myself for fear it will upset my father. I still feel conflicted about seeing my father but I hope one day to visit Nigeria and see many of my cousins and places I lived & went to school! Now you can understand why I love watching your videos which give me a small window to a place & people I used to know well. -Habiba
SisiYemmieTV good to see you here, am always seeing you everywhere I go😊
.
Lovely woman 👩
@@amehimable Me too
Habiba,
You are such an inspiration! I love the fact that you opened up a part of your life to strangers, and you didn't have to. I love reading your blogs, and looking at your videos. Keep up your beautiful journey. You are a "minority" of being authentic and true! I love you! So keep being an inspiration to others!
Well told story!! Please write a book! I enjoyed hearing your story as I am currently dating a Nigerian and I know things have changed, but there are still some strict residuals of the old traditional way of life. I could watch this over and over. It was like a movie!
Are yall still dating?
By an act of God, I stumbled on your channel. Fortunately for me, the first video I watched was that of your father's visit to the US after 25 years, as you said. Secondly, I am from northern Nigeria and for the first time on RUclips I deeply related with someone's story, please don't get me wrong. But I mean it when I say, I found your stories relateable because your experience and mine seem to rhyme in many ways.
I am greatly happy for you also because you and your mum were able to "escape" the grip of northern culture to the United States and you are able to be what you are today. This is a very big feat considering that I saw within my family how my aunts and nieces were given out in marriage barely before the age of 20. Decisions are always in the hands of elders and local customs and traditions. Even as I type this, I am only grateful that as a young man my extended family supported my education up to the level that I am pursuing a dissertation degree in the United States.
Anyway, I shall continue to watch your videos now and hope to share stories of our cultural inhibitions in northern Nigeria and hope that with the passage of time, things will be alright. I am your latest suscriber. I shall share your channel with my family back in Nigeria as I am also from the Zaria axis. I am sure your videos will inspire many within my extended family; I see in you my sister. My regards to your husband, and your beautiful kids.Thanks for sharing your story. Sannu da aiki (Weldone! in Hausa).
This is my first time I ever shared a space in any form.or fashion with anybody from Northern Nigeria both growing up in Nigeria and living in US. Wao, hope your desertation went well.
You guys have such a gentle spirit and your Dad bought gifts for everyone, how precious . You are a gem for honoring your Father the way you did. so beautiful. I loved every moment of this video.
Great story line my Nigerian sister. We are smart and work hard. It really showed in your upbringing. How l wish my daughter would start watching your vlog. So proud of you.
Thanks for sharing. Your mum did a very good job on you guys, the moral upbringing she gave you reflects in the mannerism of your speech. You narrated your story in a dignified way. I am from south west Nigeria and i know the northern culture is very conservative.
An inspirational story that mirrors my own! Well done Queen. Keep on rising.
This is one heck of a story. Luckily for me both my parents were Ibo Christians but I was born in USA and we relocated back to Nigeria in 1975 when life was relatively good there. I was sent back to USA at 16 to attend college so I relate to a lot of your background and especially being naive about the nexus between dark skin color and progress with respect to blacks in America. I'm a practicing lawyer in the DC area and I'm grateful to both my parents (now deceased) for setting me up with education as a platform for success. My humble advice if you haven't already done so is to reconnect with your Dad. You made the best decision for you no doubt but your Dad was only being the best version of himself possible within the limitations of culture and religion. I'm thankful to God that you've made it but you should embrace your Dad (as you've done for your mom) because he's played a massive role in the strong positive woman you've become today. Anyway thanks for sharing and God bless you. 🙏🏾
One thing I must say is that your father is an amazing man. He is truly a rare gem .just thought you should know that .
Nice video. Guess I should educate viewers about Nigeria of the 70's. Most Nigeria that left home to travel to another country only did so for education, and most (>95%) returned home to pick up jobs waiting for them as well a Peugeot car. The civil service was super efficient. We had health inspectors visiting homes to ensure a good living environment. That was the early days of the oil industry in Nigeria. Life was good. My father studied in the UK in the 60s and he returned to Nigeria. I had an uncle who also studied in UK and came home with a young German wife. They had two of their kids in Nigeria. That was around early to mid-70's. Then the Nigerian currency was stronger than the US dollar and was almost at par with the UK pound. Many Nigerians traveled to UK for summer holidays and they almost certainly return home. Though infrastructures were largely limited to major cities but life was simple and standard of life was okay. Then Nigeria was an African pride that promoted and supported many freedom causes all over Africa. And to surprise you, healthcare was good to the point that the Saudi King then was a usual guest at the University College teaching hospital in Ibadan. Save for corrupt politicians, Nigerian story would have been so different. Finally, it is very unlikely that you would find someone, most especially a man from northern Nigeria living in the West permanently. I am Nigerian that left Nigeria purposely for grad studies, and have have lived outside Nigeria for almost 20 years now. I have only ran into a northern Nigerian man once, and also one female that is a professor in Canada. They are very conservative and if well educated would certainly have a much better life in Nigeria because their ethnic group have more political power and access to lucrative jobs, simply because less northerners are literate, and if you are a literate northerner, certainly your community would need you more.
I edited this comment to include a RUclips video showing Lagos in the 1960s because someone here said I am lying, obviously because it does not fit the lies they were fed that Africans used to live on trees. ruclips.net/video/At6zO21Cjog/видео.html
You said it all.
This is absolutely true
adeoflagos Ade beautiful
My dad school in USA and also returned home in the 70s. With a civil service job
YOU TELLING LIES.
Your story is very honest, educative, and inspiring. Hope many will listen to you, learn from it, and be inspired onto great achievements. Well done.
Wow Habiba, this is really profound, thank you for sharing your story. As a Nigerian I can relate to what you are saying, especially about the pressures that cultural proprieties, judgement and scrutiny can place on a young woman. Having been in the US for a little over two years, I can also relate to the cultural and social isolation, seeing as all the cues are different from what I am used to. I was raised in a different culture than you were and even though the Igbos are somewhat more liberal than the Hausas, the society has essentially the same expectations for young women. At some point, you begin to miss the the times when people were overly concerned about your affairs. Having left Nigeria as an adult, it has been a huge adjustment for me but I have learned a lot.
On your family and dad, watching my brothers and other family members has given me some insight into the dynamics of marriage and the extended family -and you know that in Nigeria you marry the whole family, good, bad and ugly. I am not speaking as an expert and will not try to take your experience away from you or tell you how to feel however, I have seen people face a lot of pressure and animosity about marrying someone from a different tribe or religion more so, a different continent/country. It couldn't have been easy for your mom being the outsider in the eyes of others. It also will not be strange, if your dad faced some pressure from his family about the appropriateness of his choice in a partner hence his effort to control whom his family interacted with. Different people react to all this in different ways and sometimes hurt their family in a bid to control the situation. I bet it is easy for me to say because I wasn't there but whatever the case may be, thank you for sharing your story.
Wow that's a very big Degree, I've been watching Your videos since 11pm, its 3:25am and I'm still watching. You're special, Your story is, and I relate very much.
I stumbled on your video and the title and decided to pop in and listen. You were very enjoyable. I am Caribbean from Barbados that was raised in Brooklyn in a strong Caribbean cultural. I grew up in the late '60s during Vietnam time when black identity was alive and many of my generations who wanted to move back to Africa and learn where were we came from. During my teenage years, I read a lot about Africa and always desired to travel there at some point in my life. Well, when I went off to college; out of state; I met my first African sister from The Gambia. I could not stop wanting to be around her daily asking lots of questions about her country and West Africa in general. Being that she was in the state alone, there were other Africans in her same situation who planned to be together as a family during school breaks and the summers back in NY from other schools such as Columbia, NYU who were brilliant. I would find myself spending all of my summers and Christmas holidays time surrounded by my African family as well. What a wealth of experience. I knew then that I wanted to marry a brother from Africa although my parents wanted me to marry a Caribbean. I also had family who migrated to England from Barbados. I would love to meet you one day in person when I return home to NY to continue my story. Hoping to catch the next chapter of your beautiful story.
Evangaline Brenda Howard Bus-swofie
Thanks for sharing your story. Yes, I agree with other commenters. You should write a book. I can see this being a movie. People need to know!
It's been very inspiring Habiba. Hard work, Focus, Commitment, Resilience, and Faith are written all over your story; you're in deed a blessing. I wish you, Kenton, and the family - the very BEST in all things. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing, you are truly an inspiration!
Abiba stop the talking and write a book. It will be a best seller. 💙💚💛
mabel adutwumwah Francis right 👍🏽
I support your suggestion to Habiba. Writing a book and telling her story will surely inspire more youngsters especially now that things are not so wonderful in northern Nigeria with all the unrest. From the book, we can graduate by adapting the story for a movie.
Or watch that on a big screen ,its really a great life story. Well done girl, I'm greatly encouraged 😙
Literally in tears listening to your beautiful story. I am a single 37 year old LPN working on my cleasses for the PA program. Thank you so much for sharing and giving such great encouragement. May God continue to bless you and your beautiful family.
Thanks for sharing. I wish that my children would read your story. The part of your experiences that is similar to those of my children are changing from Nigerian school to American school system. They completed high school in Nigeria and thought that they were going to enter college or university as they call it in Nigeria. They were not allowed to enter partly because they were under age for college and partly because they were required to submit their grades from high school in Nigeria. Those who know Nigerian standard operation procedure (spo) knew that to obtain such documents from the school authorities could take more than two years (that is if the student bribes from getman all the way to the school principal for legitimate grade). Family members who reside outside of the USA and who knew nothing about the school system in America told my children that they love them more and that they care for them more than me. That i was decieving when i told them to go two more years in high school yet pass out at the age of 18yrs. My children believed they people who told them what they wanted to hear. I stood my ground and there came irreconcilable differences that lasted over eight years. Thanks to God that we were here in America. They could not do more than to hate me for a while and come to realize that i made the right decision for them. The two years that they did in the American high school opened their eyes into seeing the different lifestyles in the American society. They learned that not all "shes" refers to female or behave as the female they grew up with. They graduated in Engineering(MA)and Pharmacy(pharmD) respectively.
Great story. I was born in Kenya to an American mother and Kenyan father they also split up years later because of cultural struggles. We moved to America when I was 10. I then moved on my own to the UK as an adult and have been here 5 years.
Wow awesome we have similar backgrounds! God Bless
Hello from Kenya 👋
Please come back a visit us.
Hello!Habari gani?🇰🇪
In my suggestion no matter what happen between your two parents try to have good relationship between two of them. I wish u all the best
Beautiful video!! as l watched l felt proud of all the strong and selfless women who always sacrifice soo much to put their kids first in the face of challenges... God bless our mothers!!
Thanks a bunch for sharing your story with us Habiba. I am so happy for where you are at today especially in the context finding fulfillment and comfort. As a Nigerian, (though from the south west) I totally understand what you went through. I just feel so sorry that your parents' relationship had to end that way - knowing that they loved each other so much. I wish you more joys in life. And lest I forget, you are very beautiful. Good luck and stay blessed.
Thank you soooooo much for this. My daughter has pre admission to Cornell. She is the grandaughter of an African immigrant (Ethiopia.) I appreciate this video as well as your story.
Thank you for watching ! I hope your daughter does well where ever she goes!
I’ve been watching more of your recent videos until I watched one of your cooking videos and stumbled upon this video. Thank You for telling your story.
Now I know where you and your Mom got your strength from. NUFF RESPECT (My Jamaican Queen).👏👏👏👏👏👏👏📯📯📯📯📯
Late comer, love your story. I watched meeting my Nigerian father 1st so I've started from the beginning of your story. Lovely family.
I totally love your honesty, this's how we should be! I'm Nigerian too i see nothing bad you telling people the truth about you, i think we are mature enough to understand how someone feel and see things in different ways! Thanks for sharing really enjoyed watching. Xoxo
I love your honesty! I admire you and Ken!! I think you are incredibly brave! You are an amazing wife, mother, sister, daughter! I love the food journeys! 😂😍
Hi!!!! I’m your 6000th subbie🎊... found you on Instagram and I love your page!!! I love your mix Jamaican and Nigerian!!! I’m from Trinidad and Tobago 🇹🇹☺️
My father was from Nigeria my mother from Jamaica and I was born in London England I grew up in NYC
Without seeing this video, I knew your Mom is a Jamaican woman. I didn’t see Indian??? I hope that You realized that your warrior spirit comes from your mother Jamaican stock and your Nigerian stock!!! Wow, You are amazing and a true fighter.🥊🥊🥊
Well Habiba refers to her mother and her mother’s family as Caribbean, her grandfather she refers to as her “Jamaican” grandfather, so it’s not clear what her mother ethnicity is, if she is 100% Jamaican. IF your heritage on your mother’s side is Jamaican, please say “Jamaican”. Jamaicans 💚💛🖤 to stand out.
With this long hair her mother has she is Indian mixed or Caucasians mixed but not black. Her father is Arab as both Hausa and Fulanis are not indigenous to Africa.
I love your articulation of words. Speaking with such care so as not to offend any side of your family. Very nice. My dad was Nigerian (he died last year) and my mom is Russian and we left Nigeria without telling my dad. I lost contact with my dad for a couple of years. When we eventually got in contact again, our relationship was unfortunately never the same again.
Wow similar stories! I am sorry about your father. Thank you for watching and feel free to come back for more (-: xoxo
you are so straight forward with you experience. I love it. thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your expiring story, you are a Nigerian and shall always be a Nigerian. You have the blood of competitiveness, cleverness, ruggedness,etc. God bless you and your family.
Amazing story thanks for sharing! I am the same mix my mum is Jamaican and my dad is Nigerian and I was born and raised in the UK but I moved alone to Canada in 2018. 💜
I can't believe I sat her and watched your wonderful story, the variety of changes in your life connects like at puzzle. I am so proud and happy for you. I too am a product of the English school system.
Hey, Habiba, I really enjoyed your video. I am a Nigerian in studying Msc Social Work in UK. I related with the part of feeling like a Minority, losing my comfortable life in Nigeria to a very patchy life in UK. Your journey resonates with my experience. You have so inspired me.I love you Sis. Thank you.
Your story do inspired me . I admire you and your mum did a very good job by taking you and your brothers to America l give her a thumb up. Despite everything your dad too did very well by coming to meet you and your family in America. I think that's his forgiveness. The family is now bonded. Thanks be to God . So dear sis Habiba well done God bless you.
This is an old story but I am just now seeing it. I hope you have written a book by now because you are a good storyteller. Besides that, I am very happy you left Nigeria when you did. I am an Ibo woman who sent my children to Nigeria to get them to know their culture, BIG MISTAKE! Your mom is a strong woman and I admire her dedication and strength. She was loyal to her husband while knowing that she owes her children the future. Overall, I feel you have a lot of sensitivity for your dad, you gave him his due respect. As an Ibo woman, we respect our parents but I tell you one thing, my parents ain't gonna hold me back as long as I have options.
You're on awesome story teller. All the best. Thanks for sharing.
YOU NARRATE YOUR STORIES SO ELOQUENTLY. YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR OWN TV HOST SLOT LIKE OPRAH. I ALSO APPLAUD YOU FOR YOUR HUMBLENESS AND HONESTY IN WELCOMING YOUR FATHER AND RECONNECTING WITH HIM. SOME PEOPLE DONT GET THAT SECOND CHANCE. GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY KEEP THE VLOGS COMING 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿❤️
Thank you for sharing. Such a inspiring story. How am I just seeing this now? You just earned yourself a new subbie
Love, love love your telling of your story. Helped me to understand my own parents better 😊
Oh my goodness, there are so many similarities in our lives.
Thanks for sharing, I can only imagine that soul searching involved in that decision.
Just found you and looking forward to more 💚
Hey Roland? Did you live in Barbados at any time? You sounded familiar though.
@@charlesolusola6296 Hi Charles, yes I did live in Barbados, but not related to those people you mentioned
Fascinating story my dear... do keep talking. Its good for understanding, peace & maybe even reconciliation. God bless you!
I’m glad you shared your story with us 💕
I went to Roman Catholic Schools in the 60s and 70s and there was corporal punishment and public humiliation. It's not just limited to Africa or emerging and developing worlds. They stopped eventually.
Oh my God! I love your true story. Thank God for your mom. She is a great woman and she instilled greatness in you. I happy for you and your family escape. This will help some people.
I'm from the Northern part of Nigeria as well and moved to the States; thanks for sharing your story. I can certainly relate on several levels; both from your Father's perspective, and understanding the relationship dynamic of your parents which I've experienced in my relationships as well.
God is good my dear sister, so happy for you
Not sure how I ended up on your page, but thank you for being an inspiration! I am an aspiring non-traditional medical student.
Thank you sharing your story very inspiring. Will share with my children especially the girls during the spring break.
I just saw your reunion with your dad, and I remember I saw this specific vlog a long time ago, but now I’ve put 2 and 2 together lol.
I am honored to know you and glad you were able to tell your life story in such a calm and understanding way. God Bless you forever. Victory with Jesus.
It felt like a *movie* listening to your story. Very *inspiring* video.
David Thompson Sr. She should send this to lifetime and Oprah for sure
I start watching your videos and I am so intrigue with your honesty and your humility. I am a Jamaican and I really enjoying your real stories.
This sounds like my West indian Aunt who met her Nigerian husband in England. She lived in Nigeria with her 3 kids but ended up leaving him because he was Muslim and had other wives. The culture gets in the way of love.
Paz817 It isn’t the culture.It is Islam
@@bensonogbe6534 yes
@@bensonogbe6534 the islamophobics are in the house I see. Before foreign religions, Nigerians were polygamous. So yes, it is culture as well.
Blessings dear. I appreciate everything, every word, every experience and your rewards gain due to being so diligent and having a strong support from the maternal side of your family. I also appreciate your experience and challenges you met along the way as the daughter of a Nigerian father. True, the experiences of life with a person of Afrikan descent is challenging but very respectful at the same time because truly, it is wh you are before life became colonized by robbers. Peace my sister, I too am rewarded for my experience with a Ghanaian man and family no matter how many times (few, but still) have had my nerves twisted. I love this man with every fiber of my ligaments.
Good day to you Habiba I've only just discovered your channel today 5th March 2019 thank you soooo much for your Autobiography 😄 that's what i call it I've been riveted listening to you
That I've subscribed to your channel .....
Papa need forgiveness he did what he did with the knowledge and understanding of that Era
Bless you for welcoming him into your lovely home🙏
What a lovely story! I just saw your channel for the first time and subscribed! I will share with my followers on Facebook!
I really appreciate it ! Thank you ! look out for my vlogs ! xoxo -Habiba
@@Kenton-Habiba xoxo
Your father should have found a way to be a father to his children. However, your mother is not immune from blame either. You have spent a lifetime being told her side of the story. Just remember that every story has two sides; both should be weighed against each other. All the best.
Thank you sherwood!
I didn't like the part when she told how bad the marriage was... 16 years is a long time to be in a very bad marriage according to her for the fact that her mum had the privilege to be brought up in the west and seemingly he didn't abandon them if he moved his family back home... Every story has its side for sure.
But it is her story. No one has a right to criticze her.
@@infinitig2013 You are right. However, if you don't want people to criticize your story, don't put it on a public platform. You can't expect to only receive praise on RUclips.
@@sherwood9917 True, however it doesn't cost a penny to just look away.
@@infinitig2013 Except that this video was uploaded precisely because she wanted us to look. That being said, you could have just looked away when you encountered my and other comments with which you disagree.
Love your story and your family! Blessings to you❤
This was a very interesting story. It's interesting that you mentioned that you came from a country where everyone who ever accomplished anything was black like you so you never felt restricted by your race or thought much about it. Whereas in the U.S. we still celebrate the "first black" this or that. Black success still seems rare for some. Have you done any mentoring work for underprivileged black children?
As a Nigerian I felt the same when I moved to the UK did not even realise I was black because it's not even a thing back home. Struggled initially with celebrating Black History Month i mean I get that American History is why it needs to be done but it is very strange coming from a country where you don't even have to think about being the first black anything.
@@nkjv12 Well I have to think about being black all the time. I have to think whether a certain hair color will deem me a "ghetto black girl" or if I talk to loud or act too silly I will be labeled ratchet. My race and ethnicity is always looked at especially if I'm the only black person around.
@@kikikareema5912 I am agreeing with you, that is why I said initially I struggled with celebrating Black History month. I have grown and learnt that I have priviledges not everyone has the chance to experience. I think what people fail to realise is that it takes a long time for an immigrant, regardless of where they are from or colour to get their head around their new adopted country and really start to understand the culture of the new country.
Very inspiring.Your mum was very strong and supportive, thank God for her strong will and support. I am from Lagos Nigeria so I understand your experience.I am going to share your video my my kids, two are grown and living in the UK. The last is 14 and going to school there for the first time. Your experience on transitioning and handling racism would be very useful for him. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
I thank God for the grace upon your mum. May God bless her Lioness personality
Truly inspiring story, I will definitely buy your book if you write one, your mum did an amazing job with her kids, I think you should visit your dad to talk things through if he is willing. You are a positive inspiration.
Wow! Amezine story I am proud of all that you have accomplished. I undertand what you went thru since I myself been a Latino woman was also a minoroty. I was born in Puerto Rico and my parents migrated to Brooklyn, New York in 1963.
Oh my goodness. I loved this video..Im Nigerian too so I was curious to hear about your experiences there. Oh my what a story. Thanks for sharing!
I went to Cornell too! Graduated 2015❤️
Can’t wait to run into you at the shops. I watch all of your videos. Especially love the Temu hauls.
I have been enjoying your videos since I watched your first one were you received your dad at the airport and listening to your story how life was in Nigeria with your biracial up bringing, that reflected my memory back to how life was then in the 70s in my native country of Sierra Leone. A strong Muslim family dictating the hell out of my @ our life as children, our dad who was the decider of everything in our life and moooooore stories. But thanks for sharing your own your honest experience to the world. It's very amazing and I truly enjoyed it.
She is not biracial...lol...
You are not offending anybody.Continue to share, so that we can learn.You are very honest dear.I love you.
This is the second of your videos which I've watched, first being , Meeting my Nigerian father. I'm glad the videos came in that order, because I know you met him again. Your story is an interesting story!
I’m quite happy for you for whom you’ve turned out to be. Quite exciting!
I watched your videos on your dad’s visit to America. I found them interesting but curious to know why your parents are separated. I wondered why your dad would abandon his children. I was almost calling him “wicked” until I watched this video. I’ve come to the conclusion that any father could do that. Your leaving Nigeria without your dad’s knowledge was offensive to him ... and you influenced that. You confided so much in your mother without discussing your future with your very educated and exposed daddy who might not have succumbed to your early marriage. He would have protected you and also go to give you the best of education. And like many of his peers that I met as a practicing journalist in Nigeria, he might have aided your going to study in the US eventually. Your leaving would have broken his heart. You were all he had. I’m sure he would have become a subject of ridicule.
The jealousy and unpleasantness in your parents’ marriage are normal in marriages, be it in Nigeria or anywhere.
I’m happy you “guys” have made up.
Congrats.
I wanted to drop a comment but when l read yours you spoke my mind
Correct
You are on point
You spoke for me sha
No excuse here! Men need to step up and Raise there Children, period! Being Muslim,he already knew culturally it would not workout. A Muslim and a non Muslim,why did he marry Habiba's mother in the first place? He went on to have more wives afterwards anyways.Really! Stop defending this rubbish behavior.30 years without seeing you're children is a shame!
When you spoke about your chemistry experience, for a split second, you spoke in Nigerian accent..Honestly, it came out.. and it was lovely.
The problem was not your father or mother ,but two things
1.different cultures.
2.different religions.
So it would be hard for two people to stay together.
That was a beautiful story and have learnt some few things from your that... thank you for sharing.
This is really sad. I hope you and your father are ultimately able to make peace. I hope you're children are also able to know him.
I am amazed that your life is as smooth as it is. I love your story.
My life is not that "smooth" or perfect but I try to recognize that God has been good to me and life can always be worse.
If I were you Habiba , I will go see that man and have some form of peaceful closure with the man I dont know very well ( Your father).I believe it will make him happy to see you one last time and to give you his blessings.Tomorrow he will not be there but leave him with a memorabilia about you.Keep well and take care Habiba.
Thank you
I agree. While I sure understand you, and your mum's decision to leave Nigeria, your dad was left heart broken and betrayed. Believe me, he must have had a lot of fights with his family to afford you as much freedom as you got, so you can imagine the mockery and I told you so that came flooding in after you all left. I am sure the humiliation from his family and friends would have made it even tougher on him. He practically lost over 15years of his life and love in one day without a notice. I am sure if you asked him, it probably felt like 4 of his loved once died suddenly, at least when you loose love once through death people will console you, in his case he was mocked. This is a tough story. I totally get both sides as you would have felt like a living dead had you stayed. I hope time has given you all the opportunity to heal. Thanks for shearing your story. Your story teaches, love, strength, persistence, dealing with differences, I can go on and on. There should be a movie on this. :)
Beautiful and well said
Your story is amazing. I’m a new subscriber. I can relate to your mother’s story. You are a survivor. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💜🙏🏼✝️❤️
I enjoyed every bit of this video. Thanks for sharing.
Your story is very insightful and it touches a lot of areas including how the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side, not to look past love between the cultures, how a true mother hen will go to any length to protect her chicks... How hard work and perseverance pays off!!!
I am a Nigerian in the USA. I love your story. Thank you. I am also in the medical field with a long story. The good thing about going to school in Nigeria is that it made us able to withstand any competitive school in the world. Also racism was a shock to me. It is very unfortunate that racism exists in a beautiful country like the United States, which is a melting pot to all nationalities.
You understand. The same way some find corporal punishment at nigerian schools aboherent is the same way 3rd world countries find racism silly in western world.
@@uptownbayarea6068 Corporal punishment was allowed here in the US when I was a kid before laws changed. This isn't exclusive to other countries.
People also should not wonder why African Americans arent performing at a higher level. Its easier to push against a culture when you are cherished, protected, and financed outside of it. African ppls have a reprieve from the racism because they have somewhere/someone(s) to escape to.
@@nicolem2877 African Americans too have escape route if they want. It is called connecting with African brothers and sister. There are African AMericans like that.
Thinking as I watch, what my life was like during the years that you mentioned. Your life story is so enthralling! And I remember the Medical programs - my mother through her business sponsored some students from our church. She opened the first Black Nurses Registry in 1934. She was a RN, RIP 🕊 I Left NYC in 1973 for the military. I am so encouraged by your story as well. Thanks for the reminders!! Beautiful life!! Blessings to you!!
🥰 Awww Thank you for watching one of my older videos! Hope you also watched the ones about my fathers visit to get more of the story.
Love learning about your mums story as well! 😃
I didn't know my skin color mattered until i landed in USA. Coming from Africa we are so naive, but still competitive because we know we are capable to do anything. Our education foundation also prepares us to compete in any school or college in USA.
@teresia wachira But the goal is and should be that African universities can compete/exceed western standards other wise Africans are only improving the status of western universities therefore it appears the African university education is inferior. In my opinion I'm certain that education in Africa is far more superior. As an American descendant of Africans enslaved I cringe when I hear an African brag about their Western education. We must do better for our children.
@Culture Freedom be quiet.
African are not the only people who immigrated here, so stop with the b.s. the Asian are also doing great and some Hispanics. People from the island as well.
@@CharleneWithrow Unfortunately we African's had no 'formal education' system before the Whitemen came. We had no books, alphabet system etc. Most of the education we have today are completely a Western system of education and sincerely speaking our education tends to be 'inferior' as governments virtually spend no money on education and there are no systems to monitor the quality of education offered. For the African elite and those who can afford it, they usually send their kids to these universities in Europe and USA because their kids will get the best education the world will offer
@@jessenopiyoadory8031 We need to work on changing that perception. Blessings
Amazing narrative, all from the heart. Very very interesting. As an African from Sierra Leone living in the UK, I can relate to some of your story. Good on you👍🏽👍🏽
I love listening to you tell stories!
Thank you for your videos :)
You are welcome, Thanks for watching
Your video is a blessing and I'm proud of you and the sensitivity of your heart to forgive your dad and welcome him for Thanksgiving in your home. You have s lovely family. God bless you and your Family.
Wow this was so good and so interesting and I loved the moral of your story. I would love for that naysayer to see you now. Love it!
Thank you for watching. Come back soon!
You have a beautiful spirit! I loved listening to your story, I’m Nigerian as well but was born in the United States. I’m also a PhD student at Cornell now!!
Give Thanks & Praises to The Nigerian upbringing from your life in Nigeria. Now you get to appreciate the True Love from your Father.
This is awesome madam. Am a Nigerian and i could understand what you went through in Nigeria. Thanks for the video. We hope you will help the less privilege in Nigeria to come out of their own phobia especially in the Northern part of the country. God bless you more
ADEGORITE CALEB ADEGBENRO,nigerian politicians should be responsible for their own citizens and not waiting for individuals to look after them.
Very good!! I am an Ibo (christian) from Eastern Nigeria married to an an English (white) girl. The plan was to go back to Nigeria after we had children but our second child was Downs Syndrome so going back to Nigeria was a NO, NO cos the support facilities just were not there. I ended up a single parent to three children, 2, 6 and 10 after my wife died of brain tumour. My (white) mother in law would have married off my daughter at 16. So it is not just in Nigeria that this way of thinking does/do exist. My parents in law were not "highly" educated. Even as I write this in 2019, my wife was the first and only person in her family to be educated beyond secondary school let alone being a university graduate and I, too, was the first graduate in my family.
The relationship between my parents in law and I deteriorated so much so that when she died I had an EMAIL telling me that she had died. By the way my parents in law were not supportive after my wife died. Neither the (grand)children nor I knew that she was not well and do not know where she is buried. I often wondered and wonder constantly what would have been different ( for my family and children) if my wife were alive.
I am left wondering if our stories are similar in some respects, as in the the culture, the heartache etc... ..Hmm
May God continue to help you and give you the strength to help and raise your children.
Wow this is rough. May you and these beautiful children be abundantly blessed...may your store housr never be empty...may they be a blessing to you and others and do great things for others in Jesus name.
Hugs and kisses🤗😘
What country is this?
It is wellwith you
Nice story and I hope you continue to recognized the impact of your dad in your life.
I’m an American Women living in Michigan with my Nigerian husband. I’ve never lived in Nigeria, I’ve just visited. I could not imagine moving from Nigeria, from a financially comfortable situation, to New York. I couldn’t even imagine moving from Michigan to New York. Everything there is SO expensive. I commend your mom for making the move, a lot of us wouldn’t have had the courage to do it.
You have to keep in mind that this was a different time.
I can relate to your story. Because I am from the Nigeria. Born and brought in the northern part of Nigerian. But originally i'm from the East part of Nigeria so I can relate to story. I understand what you are talking about. I live in Europe now