I just don't understand this idea... How to give my sins to Christ? These are just mind games, or at most just poetic language and people waxing lyrical. There is no way anybody can personally believe that they are loved by God. It is not evident on its own. I can also say that God or Jesus loves me if I engage in some mental gymnastics, but that is forcing it. There is no evidence whatsoever anywhere that Jesus loves anybody. Are you gonna say that he died on the cross and he died for my sins? What does that even mean?! Particularly with regards to situations where people are overwhelmed by sins, addictions, and are living anxious lives because they see they can never be victorious, they fall all the time. What is the point in falling infinitely, (and being infinitely forgiven) if you're never gonna be victorious!? F* that! All this "dying for your sins" parlance is just playing with meaning in a world where there is equally likely an argument for saying that absolutely nobody loves you. Now lets see just how condescending and with the undertone that you know what you are talking about (while I don't) you will reply to all that I have written! Let's just see how have you given your sins to Christ and how full of love have you become. That should make you a tranformed person and allow me to give you the sins of this message and you being as loving back as you claim that Jesus loves you. Let's see who's gonna be the hypocrite!
@@wangxiaoming8989 I'm sorry you don't feel that God does not love you. I know that feeling. Your post seems to come from a place of anger and pain. I hope you reach out to a priest and not a person online you will never meet. Address this issue for your own sake.
I'm in pain indeed brother, I am also very angry, very dissapointed, and I hate God for leaving me all my life on my own, never extending a helping hand that I could recognize it's from him, never the hand that I needed. Always people with their incessant nonsense that God loves you, God gave his life for you, or God can turn this round if you let him, or you need to bear your cross, or that difficulty breeds strength, or that God allows this so that you come out stronger later, and other positivistic philosophical nonsense that had no effect whatsoever in my life. My life had continued to decline with everybody around me climbing and at the same time pittying me and looking at me condescendigly like I was some f* up loser. I hate everybody, I hate God, I hate the people, I hate the priests that I met along the years whom I confessed what I suffered from and they have either rejected me on account of my angry disposition and desolate tone that I'd used in conversation, or they told me to pray, they gave me a canon, at times offering me communion, at times not... All in vain. Then this priest comes with ideas such as it doesn't matter that you sin and cannot yet overcome, what matters is that you keep struggling. I've struggled all my life and to what effect? Did I grow stronger? On the contrary, I've become weaker and more alienated from everything church noticing that there is no God anywhere, only a constant struggle for everybody. Some struggle better than others. I apparently didn't. I'm only growing weaker. Do I need to struggle more?! F* that! I can't stand it anymore! To struggle infinitely and to be forgiven infinitely and never be victorious?! F* that too! That is slavery, that is condemnation to a life without peace, a life with constant toil but no reward. Such is hell! I'd rather die than be a slave for life in this way. It seems that some of us were meant to be in pain from the moment we came into this world. All for the glory of God some say! F* that too! What glory can anybody derive from being in constant pain?! Others were luckier than me, they have it easier. There is no hand of God in this anywhere, just pure random chance. And are we expected to thank God for the life we have been given? Or to even believe that we are loved, or that Jesus died on the cross for our sins?! F* that, and F* all this God delusional nonsense! I don't think I desire anything more than to just go and not be anymore. Perhaps all the pain will stop then. F* that too! F* everything and everybody!
@@wangxiaoming8989 My life is not what expected. I struggled and had ambition, wanted love and a family, etc. None of that happened. What remained in my heart and mind was a knowledge and experience of God. Who is God to me? That has changed over the years, but at this point my Orthodox faith is what gives me peace and makes me feel God's love. This is not to say I don't at times do really bad things. But I repent and continue down the path. Have you talked to a doctor about possible health problems? Peace.
@@zzzaaayyynnn You see brother, that is exactly what I cannot understand. God has not given you anything of what you've really desired in life (neither he has given me), however you keep on claiming that he loves you. Based on what does he love you? Based on the suffering that he has caused you? What peace is there in your heart when you notice that nothing worthy of your desire has manifested in your life? It's hard to wrap my head around the idea that somebody loves you if he makes you suffer, because that is exactly what you are saying. Anything that you've not currently got in life is obtained through struggle, through sacrifice, through pain. And even living life like this offers no certainty that you will get what you struggle for. But while you live life like this, the pain that you are going through gives rise to more meaning in your life, to more understanding. All of the sudden this meaning is what makes one forget about not getting what they wanted in the first place. You may not get exactly what you want, but you get something sweet. And slowly, living life like this, one finds themselves pursuing meaning and pursuing nothing of the things that they were interested in before. All of the sudden old interests don't seem that attractive, this new meaning that has come to you while you were in the pain of not getting what you wanted, becomes more interesting. That is what both soothes and excites the soul, your mind is renewed with new ways of seeing the world, you discover new ways of looking differently at the same world that you've always known, you are filled with new meaning, with awe, and with appreciation for God. Is that what you call that God loves you? For this awe are you claiming that God loves you despite not giving you what you desired in life? For these feelings/awe that you loosely equate with peace, people leave their families, or they don't even desire them if still being celibate, they go in the wilderness (as the saints did) and forsake all the wordily desires that you and me have. All for what? For nothing! For the pursuit of nothing! All the while claiming that they feel utterly loved. Do you not see the paradox? They leave the world behind for new meaning (which could be absent in the monotony of daily life and marriage), for seeing everything more complete, for getting closer to that intangible, ineffable and mysterious reality/ideal that estranges you from the whole world. No wonder that the pursuit of God makes one leave the world behind (even Jesus calls the believer to sell all they have and follow him, it is the same idea), and while one does that, they claim that God utterly loves them, while at the same time having lost all material possession that could constitute some proof in the eyes of the world that God really loves them. But they claim that God loves them, exactly as you do, while I say that God had no love for you but only torture. Do you not see how nonsensical is such a claim to be loved by God and at the same time experiencing loss? Loving God will all your heart and all your soul is pure madness, one that follows such a path will become what is known to be a fool for Christ, and also possibly a saint. Everybody will pity such a man, but this man will claim that he feels the love of God with no material possessions whatsoever to prove it. Where is God's love then? This is no evidence of any God loving you, or of any claim that God loves you. It is just our human nature that seems to be always attracted to something new that doesn't yet exist in their awareness. When this "new" presents itself, it is of such attracting nature that people give up what they have and chase it at the cost of everything that they have. This also brings a lot of suffering. The more you will suffer, the more you will notice God's love. This is very paradoxical. Love and suffering are always related. One cannot love unless they suffer, and through suffering one also can discover the love of the abundance that befalls them. For me, this is just the philosophy of pain, it is just a mechanism meant to propel you forward in life, to make you get out of your box, to make you step out of your comfort zone, there is no God anywhere, or what we call God is nothing of what we currently understand and imagine, it is just an insult to what God really is, God which we will never know but which we will be in a forever process of finding out because his beckoning no one can resist. If you resist it, you will slowly die forgotten by everything and everybody, whereas if you follow it you will live remembered by everything and everybody. That "thing" we call God is the greatest pain of them all, but simultaneously the greatest love of them all too. What a paradox! God is pain, but in that pain (if you persevere) you get rewarded with more meaning that is so utterly attractive that makes one say that God is love (and that you feel loved), all the while making you wish to seek more pain so that you get more of this sweet meaning, more of this love, and in the process you will be even willing to forsake the whole world together with your desires of making a fortune and having a family. Pain does indeed wake people up. What are people awoken to? To MORE! What kind of more? Everything/God, or you will inherit the whole of God's Kingdom, or you will inherit the Kingdom of Everything, it's the same idea. Those that can endure more pain, get awoken to things and riches unimaginable, whereas those still sleeping (chasing the pleasures of life) awake to nothing, but claim that you are a man of God and perhaps you can even perform a few miracles by now that you never attribute to yourself, but to that God/Everything that you are moving towards and which moves towards you. But you are still far from the Kingdom of Everything that you've just slightly managed to gleam a twinkle of. But you nevertheless feel attracted like a fly to a lightbulb! This waking up process calls for more waking up because you realize that you've only gotten crumbs thus far that fell from the rich man's table (Luke 16:21). You begin to hunger for wakefulness, and thus you persevere in pain and self denial because you've noticed this is the only way wakefulness comes to you. Thus, to be more awoken calls for more pain, and if you feed this mechanism with more pain, then you get back more wakefulness, more knowledge of God, more knowledge of Everything, which is exciting and can even bring tears to one's eyes making you feel so loved for receiving a treasure so valuable that those in the world seeking every day's pleasures (eg. a family, social position) will never be able to understand. You feel truly loved by God for gifting you so richly! But oh, how much you suffered to get this sweet reward, this small proof of God's love! Those in the world will not be able to understand this suffering, it will be above their capacity to both bear it and also comprehend it! And all of the sudden wordly activities with their empty pleasures (eg. making family, chasing fortune and social position) do not interest you anymore. They now have but little value, you have discovered more value in suffering pain. Because in that suffering will God's love shine more abundantly in your life. You now want to go in the wilderness, in the forest, in the mountains to suffer more and climb to new levels of bliss. This is what the pursuit of God is, it is the same with the pursuit of pain. Sometimes you don't even have to pursue this pain, it comes to you unexpectedly (as it came in your case and my case), and you can do nothing else except endure it. While you are enduring it one prays for strength. If you endure it and you manage to come out, you will exclaim how much God has loved you for having brought you out of that storm that he created in the first place, in order to bring you out anew, or not, as you may also drown and die in the process as I currently feel it is happening to me. In that situation of being victorious you can exclaim that God loves you, you can force yourself to believe this by only looking at the the glass half full, when in actuality life is a mixture of both good and evil, a cycle that doesn't end, evil engendering good if you persevere, and good being beset by evil again so that somebody else can claim that God loves them if they've successfully assumed that evil and persevered through it. Do you not see how nonsensical and circular everything is? There is no God in any of it, just utter nonsense!
Went to orthodox church yesterday, it's been years. This coming Saturday I'll do my first confession I'm years. My addiction to alcohol consumed me and I wasn't a good person or Christian. But now I'm getting help from the VA with that and my PTSD.
Father Paul Truebenbach all I hope is for you to see this comment, I love you dearly as you have helped me understand more about our beloved faith. Thank you very much and I would love to see a video about you talking about the commemoration of the dead. If we can save others who passes without the opportunity to repent perhaps. Elder Ephraim of Arizona talks about God saving his father from hell through his prayers could you maybe elaborate on that topic? God bless you and your family Amin ☦️❤️
Yesterday I was praying, and I told our Holy Father that I do not feel that I am loved. I asked if there was any way He could send me the answer or knowledge that I am, so that I might begin to feel it. This is the first video on my feed I've seen today. I am still a little shaken. Thank you ☦️
I struggle with the thoughts of being defined by my sins and I believe that to be a trap that uses my pride as the bait, I have come to realize that this only sinks me deeper into separation from God.
The devil wants you to believe Christ doesn't love you because of your sins so that you end up in despair, fully turning from Christ, so that you will not be saved. Do not fall for the trick. "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." Christ was sent into this world to save sinners, not condemn them. Always stick with Christ, and if you fall, turn back to Him (repent).
He has never turned his back on us. He always loves us. We are the ones that rejected him. This is such a distinction from my protestant upbringing with the view that we are condemned until we ‘believe’ and then God changes his view on us and allows us into heaven because we believe Jesus sacrificed himself for us. So different. So full. Thank you for the truth.
But we are indeed condemned until we believe. We cannot be made right with God until we believe. Yes, God always loves us, but we cannot be made right with God until we believe, we also got to do out part. If we don't believe we don't enter heaven because we reject Jesus's sacrifice, all the while God continuing to love us desperately. But he can't do anything to save us because we continue to reject him by rejecting Jesus, or by not believing in Jesus. In Protestantism it is not God that changes his view on us when we believe. This is not what protestants claim, at least not the ones I've been around. God has always had the same unchanged view on us from the moment he made us, he always loves us, but it is us that have turned our backs to God and broken the relationship. This relationship, or getting back to God can only be had if we believe in Jesus Christ. Only when we believe we realize how much God loves us. It is by faith that we are saved, and by faith alone, nothing else, no deeds necessary. What does this even mean? It means the following: We are sinners and sins bring about death. Death is also an umbrella term for depression, upset, worries, guilt, shame, and all those demonic emotions and feelings that bring us down. So sin brings about death. Well, we can try very hard not to sin anymore by focusing on behaving good, or by doing good deeds, but the more we try to do good deeds the more we realize that we continue to sin, perhaps even more now that we have increased the pressure on ourselves to behave good and sinless. If we keep doing this, if we keep trying harder to be good (before God, before us) by doing good deeds, we will notice that we can never be sinless no matter what we do, we just cannot be perfect. One can easily go literally crazy if continuing to pursue this impossible goal with zeal. So then it is obvious that we cannot repay sin back with anything. Our good deeds are not enough because in the process of struggling to do good deeds we commit yet another sin. This realization is very burdening and depressing, and upsetting, and shameful. We can never be right before God because we always upset him, we can never be perfect before him. So what can we do then? Well, we use the scapegoat mechanism. When we sin, we go sacrifice an animal. Where did we learn this scapegoat mechanism from? From God himself, he killed the first animals to clothe Adam and Even as they were leaving the garden. So it is God in his great love for mankind that introduced this mechanism so that people get some relief in their lives, in the meanwhile God was cooking something even better for later. So how does the scapegoat mechanism work? Well, we do a ceremony, and place our sins on that animal. It is best that this animal be a lamb, as they are the most pure, and most innocent. If we are to fill a vessel with our dirt/scum, then it better be that the vessel is empty (innocent) and clean, not tainted with any previous sin. No other animal is as innocent as a lamb. Then this lamb being made "dirty" with our sins must pay with death because we know that the wages of sin is death (where do we know this from? God told Adam and Eve that they will die if they sin). It is not mankind that must pay with death (why? coz God doesn't want us to die, he loves us eternally), but an animal (a lamb) that is innocent will pay, so that we can live and be made right with God (this means to have no sins, even if for a short while). After the lamb is sacrificed, we are clean, we are perfect with regards to God. Our conscience is at rest, nothing troubles us anymore. Why? Because the lamb (an innocent animal) took all the sins on itself and died with them, so the sins are gone and forgotten by God, and by us too. This was the custom during the Old Testament. Now this became problematic because there was too much animal sacrifice being done, as people were sinning more and more. What if you sacrificed a lamb, you were clean, but one hour later you commit another sin that troubles your conscience really badly, and inherently upsets God too, breaking you away from communion with him again? What do you do? Well you can slain another lamb. But what if you don't have one? At the end of the day the sheep is not a baby making machine. You may have hundreds of sheep (as was the custom at the time), but man's sins can always outnumber all the sheep and all the lambs that any man can own. So what do you do then, you go ask your neighbor to lend you a lamb? Perhaps you do, perhaps you don't, depending on how you get on with your neighbors. If you don't ask for a lamb, then you suffer in silence with the burden of the sins that trouble you because you cannot cast your sins and get rid of them until you have an innocent animal to sacrifice. Sure, in absence of a lamb, other animals were used, but the lamb was the most preferred because it was the most pure. Anyway, this was still problematic, there was just too much animal blood being shed. There needed to be a better solution to the problem of man's sin. Sure there was one, God in his great love was cooking a solution from the beginning of time, his WORD that will become flesh, to become the lamb that everybody will be able to cast their sins upon, a lamb that is always there with you, a lamb for which nobody depends on needing to have actual sheep. So then the New Testament came around, Jesus appeared. The sins of all humanity were cast on him, and the wages for carrying sins is death. So he died, but he rose again, he didn't really die, although he did as an innocent person. Then people realized (those that did, not all), that he's not only human, he is also something else. Only God cannot die. But the fact that he innocently died while at the same time resurecting and not dying, made Jesus appear as the perfect sacrifice, the perfect innocent lamb that took all the sins of the world. And even with so many sins, these have not engulfed him, but on the contrary, death got dissolved when trying the grasp the ungraspable God. That was the evidence for those that had eyes to see that Jesus was God himself. And what greater proof of love that God showed mankind than allowing himself killed, but showing that death has no effect on him? Absolutely brilliant! How did Jesus take upon himself the sins of all the world? In the sense that now all the world can cast their sins on this innocent lamb worthy to be sacrificed instead of animal lambs. Why is he worthy to be sacrificed, more worthy than anything else? Because he cannot die, he is God, so then there is no remorse of having killed somebody innocent (as some people had when killing innocent and cute lambs), there is just joy for the people that understand what an amazing solution has God offered to the problem of man's sins. Now every time man sins, he doesn't need to go and sacrifice a lamb, but immediately remembers Jesus's sacrifice and places his sins on Jesus, and immediately the man is made clean and right with God (the man is perfect for a very slight moment before he commits the next sin). This is a brilliant solution to the problem of sin. Jesus became the perfect lamb, the perfect substitutionary sacrifice ( through the scapegoat mechanism introduced by God to Adam and Eve) for man's condition of perpetual sinner.
Since Jesus, no more animals need to be sacrificed. We all cast our sins on him, and we are made right before God the very moment we have done that, because only Jesus can take sins upon himself and not die. That is how God has spared our death: with his own death. But Jesus doesn't really die because he is God. So this is God's most elegant way of removing the burden of our sins. So only by Jesus we can have access to God, there is no other way. No matter what sins we commit, they can all be washed away by placing them on the innocent lamb. Death has really lost its sting with Jesus, and through him, with us too. Of course, we will continue to sin daily, just because we have cast our sins on Jesus hasn't yet turned us into saints. However that is the end goal for each one of us. To get there the only solution we have is to cast our sins onto Jesus daily, so that daily we can be made blameless before God. As we do this our being also transforms and becomes more like Jesus. How do we cast our sins on Jesus daily? By praying daily. In effect what is praying? It is a process of asking. To pray means to ask. What do we ask? We ask forgiveness for our sins. That asking is the process of placing our sins on Jesus. That is done by prayer, and if prayer can be uttered more often than Morning and Evening, then it is even better. It would be best be uttered all the time in the form of "Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner and forgive me", essentially the Jesus prayer. Living life like this is bliss, it is heaven, it is paradise returned. This doesn't mean that we can now sin even more because we have Jesus to cast our sins on and be made right with God on the spot. If we were to do so, we would be mocking and rejecting Jesus and God. So one would be an idiot to be rejecting the source of their own salvation. The only way not to reject is to pray as often as possible, pray the Jesus prayer. We will continue to be perpetual sinners in this world, but we can be made right with God immediately. God always loves you, but God needed to make a mechanism available where we can also feel that we are right with God and not get lost in thoughts that perhaps God doesn't love me because such and such thing happens in my life or whatever sin I have committed. He always loves you, but you also need to have the tools to help your mind see that God loves you. This tool, this mechanism, if I may, is Jesus and the casting of our sins on him. Through Jesus we can know we are blameless before God. We will continue to struggle with sin, perhaps even addiction, but persevere in prayer, persevere in asking for forgiveness as often as you can. Having done that, you know that you need to feel no guilt and no remorse for having committed that sin, and while you are under the influence and drive of this valiant and courageous Holy Spirit that comes from Jesus to support your joy of knowing yourself forgiven and right with God, spirit that moves you, proceed to battle your sin with new energy and resolve. Battle your addiction, place stumbling blocks before your known sins, do not let them get to you the same as you know they always do, all the while persisting in prayer. Before, sin got to you more easier because perhaps you were depressed all the time, now you are the opposite of depressed and as such the enemy will only have trouble with you. If you do this, if you fight your sin with a clear and unburdened mind, you will see how easily you will defeat any enemy that presents itself before you. You will live a life of power, exactly what was intended for us had we not fallen prey to that original sin. So how do we gain Salvation? How do we gain that perfect state of being right with God again and totally blameless? By faith in Jesus alone. What kind of faith? The faith that knows that the burden of our sins is no more once we've cast them onto Jesus. There is nothing else that can "absorb and not be affected by" our sins so perfectly except Jesus. Anything else that we would cast our sins upon (innocent animals) would have to die and perhaps some of us would feel guilty of slaying animals when in actuality the garden and its animals were given to us to look after and be stewards of, and not slain for our mistakes and sins. So nothing can replace Jesus, absolutely nothing. He is the only way we can be made right with God. If we don't have this faith, if we don't believe, then we stand condemned and depressed by our own sins, and thus ware not not right with God. So only by faith we stand justified. But let's not forget that the next moment after being justified we may fall again into sin. Immediately pray for forgiveness. And then proceed to battle the sin because if you don't then you don't take Jesus's sacrifice seriously. Living like this, from starting with faith and moving on to battling your sins and habits you will produce all kind of delicious fruits. The Garden will be full again of fruits. Live your days like this: pray for forgiveness so that you carry not the burden of any sin, and battle your sins and bad habits in order to to bring them into submission. Let them be subject to you and not you subject to them. And while you do this beautiful labor, you will produce all kind of delicious fruit that all of us will eat from, and this way we can all regain Paradise Lost.
Dear Father T, thank you so much for this message. I will try to make myself be honest about my sin so that Jesus will see that I really want to be with Him. I will turn myself to pray again.
Greetings from Old Orthodox Church member. I found your videos very helpful in bringing the Gospel to my English speaking friend. I would suggest you to look into history of Old Orthodoxy in Russia, the original Church without any compromises with those who were in power. Schism of Russian church left modern Orthodoxy stripped of many important points concerning our Faith. Hope our Lord Jesus Christ will show you the way to the whole Truth about Him. Спаси Христос!
Hello Father Paul. I just love your teachings- the bread you break and share! I’m not orthodox, but evangelical and your teachings have blessed me. I guess what really matters is that we love Christ. May Christ consume you as well
Thank you, Father. And thank you, Lord Jesus Christ, Who answered St. Jerome in that beautiful way that softens our hearts and heals our fears. And thank You LORD, that we have been given this story.
God the Father sent us his only Son so that He can save us. Since the Son is like the Father (indivisible part of the Holy Trinity), the Son Jesus Christ loves us with the same passionate, unwithering, divine love.
Thank you Fathe and this was quite beautiful. I suppose that I may have some sort of inner doubts for this to be something I see. Glory to God that He knows me so well and lets me make baby steps. Also God bless your family Father Paul!
Hello father i dont think you’ll read this, im a teenage girl who has recently found God i havent converted yet, but ever since finding God i have been being fought so hard by the devil. Everything is going bad and im not finding rest. Im currently sick and very uncomfortable. What should i do?❤ ive been calling out to God but it feels as though nothing is moving 😢
Keep your eyes on God. The spiritual warfare is so real. When you are trying to turn your life around and live a life of repentance… oh yeah the devil will be after you. It can be incredibly difficult. Keep doing the right thing. Pray for strength
@@wv9459 does it get better?? They say in the initial phase the devil attacks strongly coz im still new. I pray the lord protects me and saves me i do desire a new life of peace.
Hello my sister in Christ 👋, please take everything I say with a grain of salt, I'm still in the beginning stages of my walk with Christ myself, so I'm no expert or authority. I'm also not sure what you're going through exactly, so I apologize if I'm misunderstanding your situation. Things may not become easier as such (they may, but its not a sure thing in this world, only in the kingdom of God), but you will become stronger through Christ as you continue to walk with Him, pray, read the scriptures, and have fellowship with other believers (i.e, go to Church, if you can). Keep your focus on Christ, and never lose hope. I pray whatever struggles you are facing will not lead you away from God. Always remember, Christ suffered for the world, and he says "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me." And "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." Try to conceptualize your suffering as your cross to bare, as Christ did, and remain faithful to God through the suffering, as Christ did. It's a cliche, but sometimes suffering leads to exponentially greater outcomes on the other side. Just as Christ suffering lead to the salvation of the world. The devil will never stop attacking you, but you can use his attacks to further glorify God, turning his attacks against him. I would maybe recommend as well finding the closest orthodox church to you, and even if you can't go there physically, you can potentially call them or arrange an online meeting with their priest (the closest Orthodox church to me allows anyone to schedule a zoom meeting with their priest for spiritual guidance, im assuming other churches do similar, but you may need to look around) Please don't lose faith, be strong, and keep following Christ 🙏❤️
God uses hardship to create growth, sorrow to create joy, and the cross to create life. You are at two particularly hard moments in life - encountering God, and transitioning into adulthood - and both of those will become easier if you persevere through the hard parts now. Our Lord has walked the second mile in our shoes; He knows what it's like and how to give us the strength we need to keep going. Countless of His Saints have gone through the same struggles we face as well. Above all, pray. Pray when you're happy, pray when you're sad, pray when you don't know how you feel. The Psalms are good prayers, because there's a Psalm for every human emotion. The Jesus prayer is always appropriate for every occasion. I love listening to a hymn of prayer on repeat until it gets stuck in my head for the rest of the day. As you pray, remember that there are countless Christians throughout the ages who have prayed and are praying for you. I just read John 17 with my kids - Jesus prayed for you there when He prayed for those who would believe the Apostles teachings and be united to the church. I'll pray for you too.
I would suggest you call out to Christ in particular with the Jesus prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ son of God have mercy on me a sinner.” The demons recoil at the sound of his name. Also, if there’s an Orthodox Church in your area, visit and attend a service. It’s a great and healing experience all by itself
Father Paul you are such a beautifull soul, I'm so happy I have found your channel at this time, you strengthen my faith, greetings from Greece, God bless us all...thank you
Father - I don't know if you read comments but if you do I have a question. Can we simply turn to Jesus, confess our sins and ask him for forgiveness (as the protestants do), or do we need (in Orthodoxy) to go to a priest for confession/absolution?
The idea of giving my sins to Christ brings tears to my eyes.
I just don't understand this idea... How to give my sins to Christ? These are just mind games, or at most just poetic language and people waxing lyrical. There is no way anybody can personally believe that they are loved by God. It is not evident on its own. I can also say that God or Jesus loves me if I engage in some mental gymnastics, but that is forcing it. There is no evidence whatsoever anywhere that Jesus loves anybody. Are you gonna say that he died on the cross and he died for my sins? What does that even mean?! Particularly with regards to situations where people are overwhelmed by sins, addictions, and are living anxious lives because they see they can never be victorious, they fall all the time. What is the point in falling infinitely, (and being infinitely forgiven) if you're never gonna be victorious!? F* that! All this "dying for your sins" parlance is just playing with meaning in a world where there is equally likely an argument for saying that absolutely nobody loves you. Now lets see just how condescending and with the undertone that you know what you are talking about (while I don't) you will reply to all that I have written! Let's just see how have you given your sins to Christ and how full of love have you become. That should make you a tranformed person and allow me to give you the sins of this message and you being as loving back as you claim that Jesus loves you. Let's see who's gonna be the hypocrite!
@@wangxiaoming8989 I'm sorry you don't feel that God does not love you. I know that feeling. Your post seems to come from a place of anger and pain. I hope you reach out to a priest and not a person online you will never meet. Address this issue for your own sake.
I'm in pain indeed brother, I am also very angry, very dissapointed, and I hate God for leaving me all my life on my own, never extending a helping hand that I could recognize it's from him, never the hand that I needed. Always people with their incessant nonsense that God loves you, God gave his life for you, or God can turn this round if you let him, or you need to bear your cross, or that difficulty breeds strength, or that God allows this so that you come out stronger later, and other positivistic philosophical nonsense that had no effect whatsoever in my life. My life had continued to decline with everybody around me climbing and at the same time pittying me and looking at me condescendigly like I was some f* up loser. I hate everybody, I hate God, I hate the people, I hate the priests that I met along the years whom I confessed what I suffered from and they have either rejected me on account of my angry disposition and desolate tone that I'd used in conversation, or they told me to pray, they gave me a canon, at times offering me communion, at times not... All in vain. Then this priest comes with ideas such as it doesn't matter that you sin and cannot yet overcome, what matters is that you keep struggling. I've struggled all my life and to what effect? Did I grow stronger? On the contrary, I've become weaker and more alienated from everything church noticing that there is no God anywhere, only a constant struggle for everybody. Some struggle better than others. I apparently didn't. I'm only growing weaker. Do I need to struggle more?! F* that! I can't stand it anymore! To struggle infinitely and to be forgiven infinitely and never be victorious?! F* that too! That is slavery, that is condemnation to a life without peace, a life with constant toil but no reward. Such is hell! I'd rather die than be a slave for life in this way. It seems that some of us were meant to be in pain from the moment we came into this world. All for the glory of God some say! F* that too! What glory can anybody derive from being in constant pain?! Others were luckier than me, they have it easier. There is no hand of God in this anywhere, just pure random chance. And are we expected to thank God for the life we have been given? Or to even believe that we are loved, or that Jesus died on the cross for our sins?! F* that, and F* all this God delusional nonsense! I don't think I desire anything more than to just go and not be anymore. Perhaps all the pain will stop then. F* that too! F* everything and everybody!
@@wangxiaoming8989 My life is not what expected. I struggled and had ambition, wanted love and a family, etc. None of that happened. What remained in my heart and mind was a knowledge and experience of God. Who is God to me? That has changed over the years, but at this point my Orthodox faith is what gives me peace and makes me feel God's love. This is not to say I don't at times do really bad things. But I repent and continue down the path. Have you talked to a doctor about possible health problems? Peace.
@@zzzaaayyynnn You see brother, that is exactly what I cannot understand. God has not given you anything of what you've really desired in life (neither he has given me), however you keep on claiming that he loves you. Based on what does he love you? Based on the suffering that he has caused you? What peace is there in your heart when you notice that nothing worthy of your desire has manifested in your life? It's hard to wrap my head around the idea that somebody loves you if he makes you suffer, because that is exactly what you are saying.
Anything that you've not currently got in life is obtained through struggle, through sacrifice, through pain. And even living life like this offers no certainty that you will get what you struggle for. But while you live life like this, the pain that you are going through gives rise to more meaning in your life, to more understanding. All of the sudden this meaning is what makes one forget about not getting what they wanted in the first place. You may not get exactly what you want, but you get something sweet. And slowly, living life like this, one finds themselves pursuing meaning and pursuing nothing of the things that they were interested in before. All of the sudden old interests don't seem that attractive, this new meaning that has come to you while you were in the pain of not getting what you wanted, becomes more interesting. That is what both soothes and excites the soul, your mind is renewed with new ways of seeing the world, you discover new ways of looking differently at the same world that you've always known, you are filled with new meaning, with awe, and with appreciation for God. Is that what you call that God loves you? For this awe are you claiming that God loves you despite not giving you what you desired in life?
For these feelings/awe that you loosely equate with peace, people leave their families, or they don't even desire them if still being celibate, they go in the wilderness (as the saints did) and forsake all the wordily desires that you and me have. All for what? For nothing! For the pursuit of nothing! All the while claiming that they feel utterly loved. Do you not see the paradox? They leave the world behind for new meaning (which could be absent in the monotony of daily life and marriage), for seeing everything more complete, for getting closer to that intangible, ineffable and mysterious reality/ideal that estranges you from the whole world. No wonder that the pursuit of God makes one leave the world behind (even Jesus calls the believer to sell all they have and follow him, it is the same idea), and while one does that, they claim that God utterly loves them, while at the same time having lost all material possession that could constitute some proof in the eyes of the world that God really loves them. But they claim that God loves them, exactly as you do, while I say that God had no love for you but only torture. Do you not see how nonsensical is such a claim to be loved by God and at the same time experiencing loss? Loving God will all your heart and all your soul is pure madness, one that follows such a path will become what is known to be a fool for Christ, and also possibly a saint. Everybody will pity such a man, but this man will claim that he feels the love of God with no material possessions whatsoever to prove it. Where is God's love then? This is no evidence of any God loving you, or of any claim that God loves you. It is just our human nature that seems to be always attracted to something new that doesn't yet exist in their awareness. When this "new" presents itself, it is of such attracting nature that people give up what they have and chase it at the cost of everything that they have. This also brings a lot of suffering. The more you will suffer, the more you will notice God's love. This is very paradoxical. Love and suffering are always related. One cannot love unless they suffer, and through suffering one also can discover the love of the abundance that befalls them.
For me, this is just the philosophy of pain, it is just a mechanism meant to propel you forward in life, to make you get out of your box, to make you step out of your comfort zone, there is no God anywhere, or what we call God is nothing of what we currently understand and imagine, it is just an insult to what God really is, God which we will never know but which we will be in a forever process of finding out because his beckoning no one can resist. If you resist it, you will slowly die forgotten by everything and everybody, whereas if you follow it you will live remembered by everything and everybody. That "thing" we call God is the greatest pain of them all, but simultaneously the greatest love of them all too. What a paradox! God is pain, but in that pain (if you persevere) you get rewarded with more meaning that is so utterly attractive that makes one say that God is love (and that you feel loved), all the while making you wish to seek more pain so that you get more of this sweet meaning, more of this love, and in the process you will be even willing to forsake the whole world together with your desires of making a fortune and having a family. Pain does indeed wake people up. What are people awoken to? To MORE! What kind of more? Everything/God, or you will inherit the whole of God's Kingdom, or you will inherit the Kingdom of Everything, it's the same idea. Those that can endure more pain, get awoken to things and riches unimaginable, whereas those still sleeping (chasing the pleasures of life) awake to nothing, but claim that you are a man of God and perhaps you can even perform a few miracles by now that you never attribute to yourself, but to that God/Everything that you are moving towards and which moves towards you. But you are still far from the Kingdom of Everything that you've just slightly managed to gleam a twinkle of. But you nevertheless feel attracted like a fly to a lightbulb! This waking up process calls for more waking up because you realize that you've only gotten crumbs thus far that fell from the rich man's table (Luke 16:21). You begin to hunger for wakefulness, and thus you persevere in pain and self denial because you've noticed this is the only way wakefulness comes to you. Thus, to be more awoken calls for more pain, and if you feed this mechanism with more pain, then you get back more wakefulness, more knowledge of God, more knowledge of Everything, which is exciting and can even bring tears to one's eyes making you feel so loved for receiving a treasure so valuable that those in the world seeking every day's pleasures (eg. a family, social position) will never be able to understand. You feel truly loved by God for gifting you so richly! But oh, how much you suffered to get this sweet reward, this small proof of God's love! Those in the world will not be able to understand this suffering, it will be above their capacity to both bear it and also comprehend it! And all of the sudden wordly activities with their empty pleasures (eg. making family, chasing fortune and social position) do not interest you anymore. They now have but little value, you have discovered more value in suffering pain. Because in that suffering will God's love shine more abundantly in your life. You now want to go in the wilderness, in the forest, in the mountains to suffer more and climb to new levels of bliss. This is what the pursuit of God is, it is the same with the pursuit of pain. Sometimes you don't even have to pursue this pain, it comes to you unexpectedly (as it came in your case and my case), and you can do nothing else except endure it. While you are enduring it one prays for strength. If you endure it and you manage to come out, you will exclaim how much God has loved you for having brought you out of that storm that he created in the first place, in order to bring you out anew, or not, as you may also drown and die in the process as I currently feel it is happening to me. In that situation of being victorious you can exclaim that God loves you, you can force yourself to believe this by only looking at the the glass half full, when in actuality life is a mixture of both good and evil, a cycle that doesn't end, evil engendering good if you persevere, and good being beset by evil again so that somebody else can claim that God loves them if they've successfully assumed that evil and persevered through it. Do you not see how nonsensical and circular everything is? There is no God in any of it, just utter nonsense!
Went to orthodox church yesterday, it's been years. This coming Saturday I'll do my first confession I'm years. My addiction to alcohol consumed me and I wasn't a good person or Christian. But now I'm getting help from the VA with that and my PTSD.
I will pray for you brother. I too have strayed but thank God that He is steadfast.
@@iamtheteapot7405 thank you, I really appreciate it
Father Paul Truebenbach all I hope is for you to see this comment, I love you dearly as you have helped me understand more about our beloved faith. Thank you very much and I would love to see a video about you talking about the commemoration of the dead. If we can save others who passes without the opportunity to repent perhaps. Elder Ephraim of Arizona talks about God saving his father from hell through his prayers could you maybe elaborate on that topic? God bless you and your family Amin ☦️❤️
Yesterday I was praying, and I told our Holy Father that I do not feel that I am loved. I asked if there was any way He could send me the answer or knowledge that I am, so that I might begin to feel it. This is the first video on my feed I've seen today. I am still a little shaken.
Thank you ☦️
Very helpful. Thank You Fr.Paul
Father Bless, please pray for me that i would fully believe in The Lord's Love for me. Kissing Your Right Hand
I struggle with the thoughts of being defined by my sins and I believe that to be a trap that uses my pride as the bait, I have come to realize that this only sinks me deeper into separation from God.
The devil wants you to believe Christ doesn't love you because of your sins so that you end up in despair, fully turning from Christ, so that you will not be saved. Do not fall for the trick.
"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."
Christ was sent into this world to save sinners, not condemn them. Always stick with Christ, and if you fall, turn back to Him (repent).
Oh my heart! New meaning to the parable of the "lost sheep"...how lost I am!!! Thank you for this beautiful teaching!
Thank you Father Paul Truebenbach for this video ☦️
Thank you, Father, this is something I've wrestled with.
I'm not Orthodox but Father Truebenbach speaks deep biblical truths and keeps me coming back to know Christ more and more.
He has never turned his back on us. He always loves us. We are the ones that rejected him. This is such a distinction from my protestant upbringing with the view that we are condemned until we ‘believe’ and then God changes his view on us and allows us into heaven because we believe Jesus sacrificed himself for us.
So different. So full. Thank you for the truth.
But we are indeed condemned until we believe. We cannot be made right with God until we believe. Yes, God always loves us, but we cannot be made right with God until we believe, we also got to do out part. If we don't believe we don't enter heaven because we reject Jesus's sacrifice, all the while God continuing to love us desperately. But he can't do anything to save us because we continue to reject him by rejecting Jesus, or by not believing in Jesus. In Protestantism it is not God that changes his view on us when we believe. This is not what protestants claim, at least not the ones I've been around. God has always had the same unchanged view on us from the moment he made us, he always loves us, but it is us that have turned our backs to God and broken the relationship. This relationship, or getting back to God can only be had if we believe in Jesus Christ. Only when we believe we realize how much God loves us.
It is by faith that we are saved, and by faith alone, nothing else, no deeds necessary. What does this even mean? It means the following: We are sinners and sins bring about death. Death is also an umbrella term for depression, upset, worries, guilt, shame, and all those demonic emotions and feelings that bring us down. So sin brings about death. Well, we can try very hard not to sin anymore by focusing on behaving good, or by doing good deeds, but the more we try to do good deeds the more we realize that we continue to sin, perhaps even more now that we have increased the pressure on ourselves to behave good and sinless. If we keep doing this, if we keep trying harder to be good (before God, before us) by doing good deeds, we will notice that we can never be sinless no matter what we do, we just cannot be perfect. One can easily go literally crazy if continuing to pursue this impossible goal with zeal. So then it is obvious that we cannot repay sin back with anything. Our good deeds are not enough because in the process of struggling to do good deeds we commit yet another sin. This realization is very burdening and depressing, and upsetting, and shameful. We can never be right before God because we always upset him, we can never be perfect before him. So what can we do then?
Well, we use the scapegoat mechanism. When we sin, we go sacrifice an animal. Where did we learn this scapegoat mechanism from? From God himself, he killed the first animals to clothe Adam and Even as they were leaving the garden. So it is God in his great love for mankind that introduced this mechanism so that people get some relief in their lives, in the meanwhile God was cooking something even better for later.
So how does the scapegoat mechanism work? Well, we do a ceremony, and place our sins on that animal. It is best that this animal be a lamb, as they are the most pure, and most innocent. If we are to fill a vessel with our dirt/scum, then it better be that the vessel is empty (innocent) and clean, not tainted with any previous sin. No other animal is as innocent as a lamb. Then this lamb being made "dirty" with our sins must pay with death because we know that the wages of sin is death (where do we know this from? God told Adam and Eve that they will die if they sin). It is not mankind that must pay with death (why? coz God doesn't want us to die, he loves us eternally), but an animal (a lamb) that is innocent will pay, so that we can live and be made right with God (this means to have no sins, even if for a short while). After the lamb is sacrificed, we are clean, we are perfect with regards to God. Our conscience is at rest, nothing troubles us anymore. Why? Because the lamb (an innocent animal) took all the sins on itself and died with them, so the sins are gone and forgotten by God, and by us too.
This was the custom during the Old Testament. Now this became problematic because there was too much animal sacrifice being done, as people were sinning more and more. What if you sacrificed a lamb, you were clean, but one hour later you commit another sin that troubles your conscience really badly, and inherently upsets God too, breaking you away from communion with him again? What do you do? Well you can slain another lamb. But what if you don't have one? At the end of the day the sheep is not a baby making machine. You may have hundreds of sheep (as was the custom at the time), but man's sins can always outnumber all the sheep and all the lambs that any man can own. So what do you do then, you go ask your neighbor to lend you a lamb? Perhaps you do, perhaps you don't, depending on how you get on with your neighbors. If you don't ask for a lamb, then you suffer in silence with the burden of the sins that trouble you because you cannot cast your sins and get rid of them until you have an innocent animal to sacrifice. Sure, in absence of a lamb, other animals were used, but the lamb was the most preferred because it was the most pure. Anyway, this was still problematic, there was just too much animal blood being shed. There needed to be a better solution to the problem of man's sin. Sure there was one, God in his great love was cooking a solution from the beginning of time, his WORD that will become flesh, to become the lamb that everybody will be able to cast their sins upon, a lamb that is always there with you, a lamb for which nobody depends on needing to have actual sheep.
So then the New Testament came around, Jesus appeared. The sins of all humanity were cast on him, and the wages for carrying sins is death. So he died, but he rose again, he didn't really die, although he did as an innocent person. Then people realized (those that did, not all), that he's not only human, he is also something else. Only God cannot die. But the fact that he innocently died while at the same time resurecting and not dying, made Jesus appear as the perfect sacrifice, the perfect innocent lamb that took all the sins of the world. And even with so many sins, these have not engulfed him, but on the contrary, death got dissolved when trying the grasp the ungraspable God. That was the evidence for those that had eyes to see that Jesus was God himself. And what greater proof of love that God showed mankind than allowing himself killed, but showing that death has no effect on him? Absolutely brilliant!
How did Jesus take upon himself the sins of all the world? In the sense that now all the world can cast their sins on this innocent lamb worthy to be sacrificed instead of animal lambs. Why is he worthy to be sacrificed, more worthy than anything else? Because he cannot die, he is God, so then there is no remorse of having killed somebody innocent (as some people had when killing innocent and cute lambs), there is just joy for the people that understand what an amazing solution has God offered to the problem of man's sins. Now every time man sins, he doesn't need to go and sacrifice a lamb, but immediately remembers Jesus's sacrifice and places his sins on Jesus, and immediately the man is made clean and right with God (the man is perfect for a very slight moment before he commits the next sin). This is a brilliant solution to the problem of sin. Jesus became the perfect lamb, the perfect substitutionary sacrifice ( through the scapegoat mechanism introduced by God to Adam and Eve) for man's condition of perpetual sinner.
Since Jesus, no more animals need to be sacrificed. We all cast our sins on him, and we are made right before God the very moment we have done that, because only Jesus can take sins upon himself and not die. That is how God has spared our death: with his own death. But Jesus doesn't really die because he is God. So this is God's most elegant way of removing the burden of our sins. So only by Jesus we can have access to God, there is no other way. No matter what sins we commit, they can all be washed away by placing them on the innocent lamb. Death has really lost its sting with Jesus, and through him, with us too.
Of course, we will continue to sin daily, just because we have cast our sins on Jesus hasn't yet turned us into saints. However that is the end goal for each one of us. To get there the only solution we have is to cast our sins onto Jesus daily, so that daily we can be made blameless before God. As we do this our being also transforms and becomes more like Jesus. How do we cast our sins on Jesus daily? By praying daily. In effect what is praying? It is a process of asking. To pray means to ask. What do we ask? We ask forgiveness for our sins. That asking is the process of placing our sins on Jesus. That is done by prayer, and if prayer can be uttered more often than Morning and Evening, then it is even better. It would be best be uttered all the time in the form of "Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner and forgive me", essentially the Jesus prayer. Living life like this is bliss, it is heaven, it is paradise returned.
This doesn't mean that we can now sin even more because we have Jesus to cast our sins on and be made right with God on the spot. If we were to do so, we would be mocking and rejecting Jesus and God. So one would be an idiot to be rejecting the source of their own salvation. The only way not to reject is to pray as often as possible, pray the Jesus prayer. We will continue to be perpetual sinners in this world, but we can be made right with God immediately. God always loves you, but God needed to make a mechanism available where we can also feel that we are right with God and not get lost in thoughts that perhaps God doesn't love me because such and such thing happens in my life or whatever sin I have committed. He always loves you, but you also need to have the tools to help your mind see that God loves you. This tool, this mechanism, if I may, is Jesus and the casting of our sins on him. Through Jesus we can know we are blameless before God.
We will continue to struggle with sin, perhaps even addiction, but persevere in prayer, persevere in asking for forgiveness as often as you can. Having done that, you know that you need to feel no guilt and no remorse for having committed that sin, and while you are under the influence and drive of this valiant and courageous Holy Spirit that comes from Jesus to support your joy of knowing yourself forgiven and right with God, spirit that moves you, proceed to battle your sin with new energy and resolve. Battle your addiction, place stumbling blocks before your known sins, do not let them get to you the same as you know they always do, all the while persisting in prayer. Before, sin got to you more easier because perhaps you were depressed all the time, now you are the opposite of depressed and as such the enemy will only have trouble with you. If you do this, if you fight your sin with a clear and unburdened mind, you will see how easily you will defeat any enemy that presents itself before you. You will live a life of power, exactly what was intended for us had we not fallen prey to that original sin.
So how do we gain Salvation? How do we gain that perfect state of being right with God again and totally blameless? By faith in Jesus alone. What kind of faith? The faith that knows that the burden of our sins is no more once we've cast them onto Jesus. There is nothing else that can "absorb and not be affected by" our sins so perfectly except Jesus. Anything else that we would cast our sins upon (innocent animals) would have to die and perhaps some of us would feel guilty of slaying animals when in actuality the garden and its animals were given to us to look after and be stewards of, and not slain for our mistakes and sins. So nothing can replace Jesus, absolutely nothing. He is the only way we can be made right with God. If we don't have this faith, if we don't believe, then we stand condemned and depressed by our own sins, and thus ware not not right with God.
So only by faith we stand justified. But let's not forget that the next moment after being justified we may fall again into sin. Immediately pray for forgiveness. And then proceed to battle the sin because if you don't then you don't take Jesus's sacrifice seriously. Living like this, from starting with faith and moving on to battling your sins and habits you will produce all kind of delicious fruits. The Garden will be full again of fruits.
Live your days like this: pray for forgiveness so that you carry not the burden of any sin, and battle your sins and bad habits in order to to bring them into submission. Let them be subject to you and not you subject to them. And while you do this beautiful labor, you will produce all kind of delicious fruit that all of us will eat from, and this way we can all regain Paradise Lost.
Dear Father T, thank you so much for this message. I will try to make myself be honest about my sin so that Jesus will see that I really want to be with Him. I will turn myself to pray again.
Greetings from Old Orthodox Church member. I found your videos very helpful in bringing the Gospel to my English speaking friend.
I would suggest you to look into history of Old Orthodoxy in Russia, the original Church without any compromises with those who were in power. Schism of Russian church left modern Orthodoxy stripped of many important points concerning our Faith. Hope our Lord Jesus Christ will show you the way to the whole Truth about Him. Спаси Христос!
So glad I watched this 🥹☦️
Hello Father Paul. I just love your teachings- the bread you break and share! I’m not orthodox, but evangelical and your teachings have blessed me. I guess what really matters is that we love Christ. May Christ consume you as well
This video made me cry like a little boy. Specially the idea of christ crucifying himself for my sake. Bless you Father!
Thank you, Father. And thank you, Lord Jesus Christ, Who answered St. Jerome in that beautiful way that softens our hearts and heals our fears. And thank You LORD, that we have been given this story.
God the Father sent us his only Son so that He can save us. Since the Son is like the Father (indivisible part of the Holy Trinity), the Son Jesus Christ loves us with the same passionate, unwithering, divine love.
Thank you Fathe and this was quite beautiful. I suppose that I may have some sort of inner doubts for this to be something I see. Glory to God that He knows me so well and lets me make baby steps. Also God bless your family Father Paul!
Thank you soo much for your messages Father Truebenbach! I look forward to watching them every time you post! They have blessed me immensely ❤
exactly what I've recently discovered I had big troubles with
Thank yuo father
Thank you for another enlightening video, Fr. Paul.
Thank you. Father bless
How comforting! Thank you!
Wow... Ok... I don't really know what to say other than wow ❤
Hello father i dont think you’ll read this, im a teenage girl who has recently found God i havent converted yet, but ever since finding God i have been being fought so hard by the devil. Everything is going bad and im not finding rest. Im currently sick and very uncomfortable. What should i do?❤ ive been calling out to God but it feels as though nothing is moving 😢
Keep your eyes on God. The spiritual warfare is so real. When you are trying to turn your life around and live a life of repentance… oh yeah the devil will be after you. It can be incredibly difficult. Keep doing the right thing. Pray for strength
@@wv9459 does it get better?? They say in the initial phase the devil attacks strongly coz im still new. I pray the lord protects me and saves me i do desire a new life of peace.
Hello my sister in Christ 👋, please take everything I say with a grain of salt, I'm still in the beginning stages of my walk with Christ myself, so I'm no expert or authority. I'm also not sure what you're going through exactly, so I apologize if I'm misunderstanding your situation.
Things may not become easier as such (they may, but its not a sure thing in this world, only in the kingdom of God), but you will become stronger through Christ as you continue to walk with Him, pray, read the scriptures, and have fellowship with other believers (i.e, go to Church, if you can). Keep your focus on Christ, and never lose hope.
I pray whatever struggles you are facing will not lead you away from God. Always remember, Christ suffered for the world, and he says "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me." And "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."
Try to conceptualize your suffering as your cross to bare, as Christ did, and remain faithful to God through the suffering, as Christ did. It's a cliche, but sometimes suffering leads to exponentially greater outcomes on the other side. Just as Christ suffering lead to the salvation of the world. The devil will never stop attacking you, but you can use his attacks to further glorify God, turning his attacks against him.
I would maybe recommend as well finding the closest orthodox church to you, and even if you can't go there physically, you can potentially call them or arrange an online meeting with their priest (the closest Orthodox church to me allows anyone to schedule a zoom meeting with their priest for spiritual guidance, im assuming other churches do similar, but you may need to look around)
Please don't lose faith, be strong, and keep following Christ 🙏❤️
God uses hardship to create growth, sorrow to create joy, and the cross to create life. You are at two particularly hard moments in life - encountering God, and transitioning into adulthood - and both of those will become easier if you persevere through the hard parts now. Our Lord has walked the second mile in our shoes; He knows what it's like and how to give us the strength we need to keep going. Countless of His Saints have gone through the same struggles we face as well.
Above all, pray. Pray when you're happy, pray when you're sad, pray when you don't know how you feel. The Psalms are good prayers, because there's a Psalm for every human emotion. The Jesus prayer is always appropriate for every occasion. I love listening to a hymn of prayer on repeat until it gets stuck in my head for the rest of the day. As you pray, remember that there are countless Christians throughout the ages who have prayed and are praying for you. I just read John 17 with my kids - Jesus prayed for you there when He prayed for those who would believe the Apostles teachings and be united to the church. I'll pray for you too.
I would suggest you call out to Christ in particular with the Jesus prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ son of God have mercy on me a sinner.” The demons recoil at the sound of his name. Also, if there’s an Orthodox Church in your area, visit and attend a service. It’s a great and healing experience all by itself
Father Paul you are such a beautifull soul, I'm so happy I have found your channel at this time, you strengthen my faith, greetings from Greece, God bless us all...thank you
Monumentally helpful Father Truebenbach. I cannot express in words the weight this has lifted off of me. Glory to God in the highest!
Amen!
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Father - I don't know if you read comments but if you do I have a question. Can we simply turn to Jesus, confess our sins and ask him for forgiveness (as the protestants do), or do we need (in Orthodoxy) to go to a priest for confession/absolution?