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Why You Shouldn't Live Together Before Marriage.
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- Опубликовано: 28 окт 2022
- In today's world it is widely accepted that couples live together while engaged or dating. Fr. Gregory Pine O.P. explains how Chastity, Prudence, and Charity all point us away from cohabitation.
Also in this episode: Fr. Pine finally uses the word diaspora on the Pints Channel.
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"You don't try on having kids by having a dog." This some heat
As someone who LOVES dogs, I hate that stuff so much. A dog isn’t and never will be an analog for a human being. Don’t even get me started on people who call themselves a “dog mom” or “dog dad” 🤮🤮🤮
Happy to say that my husband and I did not live together before marriage
My wife and I didn't either, but we had sex all the time. I needed to go to confession weekly
This is really good, i pray for strength to do the right i know as well.
Bravo to you 👏❤
This man is so eloquent and so wise.
Lets stop and appreciate that Father said groovy
Shared this with my adult child (who is getting his own apartment) when he asked what I thought of offering extra bedroom to high school sweetheart. He said he never thought of all the points you made, Father. (Parents' conversations/lessons truly do pass in and out without sticking😊) Thank you for presenting truth...hope it sticks!
Fr. Pine, can you make a video on "How To Lighten Up" from a philosophical perspective
I've been a bit overly heavily souled, serious, and morose lately.
I’ve been struggling with this. Something that helped me was focusing on blessings. Like looking at traffic as a blessing because its an opportunity for me to undergo mortification.
Praying for you!
@@PopeLeoXIIIFanAccount "Opportunity for mortification." Awesome 🙂
Makes sense. Thank you for this Fr Gregory
My husband and I lived together before we got married. Two years later I became pregnant with our first child. We got married not long after after that. I walked down the aisle pregnant. Two years later we had our second child. Then in 1999 we came into the Catholic church. We just celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary. I don't condone it, but in our case it all worked out. We did have our marriage blessed in the Catholic church too.
NICE 😁
Romans 1 is not talking about the LGBT community because, first off, it's referring to only straight couples. Plus, God did it on purpose because they were trying to procreate during orgies. It wouldn't make sense for same-sex couples anyhow. Male or female is determined by gender located in the brain. Romans 1 is not referring to Eunuchs where one partner is transgender.
Matthew 19:12 Eunuchs that are born that way are transgender. Eunuchs made that way by others were abused. Those that choose to live like Eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven are bisexual people that choose partners at the same sex but opposite in gender. Male or female is determined by gender located in the brain. I am Elijah of Malachi so that means any discrepancies in the Bible are decided by me.
Malachi 2 proves Malachi 3 is talking to the thieving church leaders and it is the answer to end covid. When all the thieving ministers return the money, God will in covid. All major churches around the world have known this since August of 2020 but they love money so much they are intentionally choosing to kill people with covid instead of repenting.
Anyone collecting money for ministering, anyone saying same-sex marriage is a sin, are all blacked out from the holy Spirit and will remain in the Great tribulation until they repent or way too long and die with the wicked instead. The Great tribulation began September 1st. Judges, police, politicians, and rich people will all need to repent as well and are blacked out until they do or wait too long and die. James 5:2 the money of the rich is only being used as evidence to burn them.
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Anyone that deletes the messages sent from the messenger of Malachi 31 rejects Jesus herself and will automatically die with the wicked.
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@@matthewvelazquez2013
Really, you wish to argue go somewhere else....calling people names 🙄 when YOU do NOT know them us extremely UNchristian. We will pray for you
@@R.C.425 He's a troll. Ingore him.
This episode was very insightful. Related to this topic, could you also address the following argument: Sometimes people that are living together say: "We want to live together but we do not want to have children." Unfortunately, I even heard married couples say that! At other times, either one of the partners proposes that.
The only response starter that I could think of is: "What makes you think that you will not change your mind in the future?", or simply "Why don't you want to have children?". "Is there anything that you don't like about having children?". As you can imagine, I have not had the chance to get to those questions in a conversation.
Thank you for your work Fr. Pine. Greetings from Canada.
You ought not marry, if you are not open to the prospect of having children.
@@ravelravello2726 is it even a marriage if there's no intent of children?
@@Arcticroberto9376 i mean marriage is good on its own.
Father, I wish your books are available in audible forms - easier for me to follow and you are soo cool with your candidness particularly your snippets of side comments. TRULY YOU ARE A BLESSING TO HUMAN KIND!!!! LOVE YOU IN CHRIST!!!
Cohabitation is a sign of pride that what me and my husband learn thinking is okay. God will understand that what we thought. Good thing God providence shows us his law. We get married in church and our priest pointed out is not good to married outside the church is always blessed inside the house of God teach you to love God and humility and Jesus be the center of your love ❤️
usually living together destroys sexual attraction and sex as a whole. if this wasnt the case why is the divorce rate 80% in the US. plus i think the cohabit thing is under a lot of pressure in this day and age with rent prices and housing crisis... at the same time, all these things can happen without sex before marriage. which is sad
Fr. Pine always has an awesome message. God bless him.
Thank you Father. A reasonably devout friend and his girlfriend (who's in RCIA) live together, and he told me they're living chastely so I haven't asked further. This clarifies some of the other objective disadvantages of living together, but I'm not sure if I should bring them up with him if they're holding off the big, obvious danger of cohabitation
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i can't stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just can't, i love her so much, i don't know why i am bring this here for, i can't stop thinking about her
it's always difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation my wife for 12 years left me, i couldn't just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back.
@UCIKCt5S3gaJzrhukoAgsfYw her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster who can bring her back
This is so sad, please go speak with a trusted priest
@@jamesbennett9838 this is a horrible thing to recommend to somebody and it is directly against the Catholic Faith (spell casting and consulting those who cast spells and practice witchcraft) don’t lead people astray, please either delete or edit your comments so they don’t recommend witchcraft.
It’s a sin to have intercourse before marriage.
Good video, thanks
The least we can do when receiving any of the sacraments is to be "in the grace of God" and this supposes an intention oriented towards God's glory - and in this way we are sanctified. But who wants to have this right intention in marriage?! People who sanctify themselves in marriage are as rare as white flies, as St. Alphonsus de Liguori says.
Very good!
Boom! Co-habitation, let’s go for it.…eh! No, let’s not go for it. Lol 😂😂😂
This is how he is in real life. Just hilarious. 😂
I loved this! I learned so much, was entertained and built my vocabulary!❤
I have the impression that a lot of boomers and some of the generation before that developed the idea that cohabitation before marriage was a rational way to test a relationship against the likelihood of divorce (because that was becoming socially acceptable). But you're living under different, way more dilute expectations. What are you going to learn, that your would-be partner has annoying habits? If the marriage isn't a reason to change bad habits, the people involved have bigger problems.
I wish I had thought of sleeping on a bed of nails to mortify my flesh. That’s a good one.
Thank you as always Fr Pine. God bless you and keep you
I love the video, good analogy’s!! Thanks!
This was great! Thank you.
Thank you,
What if you’re dating and you want to go on a trip together to visit her parents. Is it acceptable to stay in her parents home together for a couple days while visiting, as long as you sleep in different bedrooms? Or better to get a hotel room close by?
If you're sleeping in different bedrooms, that's perfectly fine.
At the very least get seperate bedrooms, but before giving a concrete answer just ask yourself and the person you're dating that by sleeping nearby would either of you be tempted to have sex? If you two are strong enough to avoid the temptation, then sleeping in the same house in separate rooms should be fine. But if either of you can't resist the temptation then get the hotel. Peoples' strength to virtue/ resistance to sin vary so I would ask you and your date to know each other first before committing to a concrete answer. My girlfriend and I stay over at each other's houses quite frequently since we're dating distance and the only real quality time we get to spend together is on the weekends but she's told me that she probably wouldn't stay over if either of us lived alone which I think is a fair and good idea. Hopefully this helps Alex!
Excellent!
Excellent
So how long should, in a general sense, dating last before engagement? How long should engagement last before marriage?
Engagements ought to be shorter than a year, preferably 3-6 months.
Short engagements, long marriages tend to happen.
St. Paul has some intriguing words of wisdom, where he states being single is best to serve God wholeheartedly. In his address, he covers all the boxes and says: "To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).
Dating, like engagements, probably is best to be shorter of a duration too. If you both are praying and discerning together, in addition to enjoying each other's company, that's definitely half the puzzle complete. Hopefully, the dating phase does not go past 3 years, similar parallel to Christ's ministry.
Definitely do not date 10 years in a row, to the same person, when in the decade you both could have been married to each other, or discern to part and either you or them discerned marriage or another vocation. The sooner you cooperate with God's will, the better.
And don't get me wrong, it's quite hard to hand over the reins. I'm always struggling. ; )
Father, is civil union the same as cohabitation? I couldn’t find anything on civil union in the catechism.
Civil Unions don't exist in the Catholic Church.
i am an atheist, i have not saved sex for marriage, and i find it very strange to hear that you believe that having “makeup sex” and using sex as a band aid over problems is like, the average response to issues in a relationship, going as far as to explain it to us that we shouldn’t do that. i wouldn’t even think to try to do that while my partner was trying to talk to me about something serious… how would that help the situation? like, maybe *after* things are resolved, but not *instead of* resolving things.
Ok...surely better to live together and then get married and have children than just not get married at all. I understand its not ideal but then I'm not perfect. Married for 30 years now after living together for a year..three beautiful daughters.
My parents also lived together a year before marriage, going on 37 years together. The problem lies in this newer generation, many of them are just as happy just living together and never getting married nor having children. It's like the sanctity of the marriage Sacrament is totally lost on them, they take it as just an ancient tradition. Perhaps this stems from past trauma, maybe even family divorce. Unfortunately as a woman, I knew and saw that if I were to live with a man before marriage this could likey happen to me, so I made sure that my boyfriend (now husband) understood that I would not live with anyone who was not my husband, and that made him take me more seriously, and he proposed. I'm glad that when our priest was about to marry us in the church, a prerequisite was not living together and we fulfilled that. Going on 13 years, 2 daughters with the love of my life, he's my greatest blessing.
It seems that if your goal is marriage, living together first and/or dating around without chastity is a pretty strong antagonist to the married state. If you end up there, great, that is certainly better than continuing to live that life outside marriage. But also, what will you be teaching your kids?
I wanted to be married ever since I was a child, but many things led me away from the church and I lived exactly as I should not if I wished to be married. Somehow, I met someone who saw me as someone he felt responsibility towards, he told me that the night we met he felt a sense of protectiveness come over him. Not sure how he can explain that without God, but he is an atheist. We eventually married 6 years later. I can only believe that God used my brokenness to make something better of us both. Something totally changed in me the day we married, even though technically it wasn't a sacrament, and I have been coming closer to God ever since. We are expecting our first child in January and it is the prospect of raising a child that fully brought me back to the church. I pray for my husbands conversion, and I hope anyone who sees this will also.
Thanks Father, question about the church being very generous and allowing a marriage even in the case of cohabitation. I was under the impression that a person could not receive the sacraments in the state of mortal sin. With the exception of reconciliation. Am I in correct? Even Pope Francis said the church cannot bless sin.
Great video by the way!
Holy Eucharist is a sacrament that one should not take when one is in a state of mortal sin.
1 Corinthians 11:27. "So then whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in a way that is unworthy of Him will be guilty of profaning and sinning against the body and blood of the Lord."
@jotun man thanks for the reply. I totally get it that’s why I asked. If I’m not mistaken a person also needs to be in a state of grace to receive matrimony and holy orders. Maybe someone can answer.
@@christophercerak4639 Usually priest would advice that couple to stop cohabitation before marriage but if its not possibile (for example a couple already Has a kid) than the confesion would take place right before wedding.
@Mila great answer thanks. I’ll continue to assume that a person can’t receive a valid marriage in the state of mortal sin.
cohabitation is the best and only way to really get to know the other person. By dating you will only see that side the other person he/she wants you to see, while when cohabitating nobody can hide from their flaws and traits.
I disagree. Cohabitation actually blocks you from being able to judge wisely on if the person you're dating is a good potential spouse. My wife and I didn't cohabitate or sleep together before marriage and there's nothing we felt we weren't aware of beforehand that cohabitation would have solved. The reality is that cohabitation is actually linked to higher divorce rates, higher domestic abuse rates and lower rates of satisfaction in marital intimacy.
@@ryderisboss,
you have to ask the divorcees first why they divorced and what the cause(s) were. I am sure they will not say: "oh, we cohabitated 20 years ago and thus we divorced". That would and is the dumbest thing I will ever hear, divorcees saying,.Then why marry anyway?
@@ryderisboss,
"marital intimacy"? You mean sex? Why dont you just say that word?
So what is your advice on kissing before marriage? If there’s no inappropriate touching and it’s not in a bed but still passionate is that near occasion of sin?
Kissing is very bad, any form of touching that might lead to intercourse is bad. No hugging, no kissing, no holding hands, nothing. Actually, even seeing a woman is too tempting. Women should wear big window curtains 24/7 because it's so bad
@@Arcticroberto9376 the bad thing is I've actually seen some ultra trad people say stuff like this
Abbot J-B. Vittrant teaches:
1098. - The breaches of modesty
One must be careful, moreover, - it goes without saying - not to fail in modesty, a virtue protective of chastity and often intimately linked to it. Cf. n. 1030, 3.
Now, every word, look, touch, manner of holding oneself, manner of dressing ; everything which naturally provokes the desire for sexual things or even simply attracts attention without reason, can be rightly considered as a lack of modesty. Without claiming to be able, as a priori, to classify these disorders into intrinsically serious or slight faults, we shall recall some principles on their occasion, and we shall propose, by way of example, some conclusions.
Unless legitimised by the custom of marriage, any lack of modesty with a conscious erotic purpose is to be regarded as seriously culpable, if there is full advertence and consent.
Kisses, embraces, looks, touches and the like, if done outside of marriage with the intention of performing a lustful act, or of procuring venereal enjoyment, are always mortal sins, even if the enjoyment is not completed. For, done with this intention, outside of marriage, these acts are immoral, and, by its nature, such enjoyment tends to be satiated. Cf. St Alphonsus, Moral Theology, III, 451, cf. 416, 2.
N. B. - The kiss on the mouth, when it is active on the part of both partners, is most often only the beginning of erotic excitement : it can then only be licit between spouses. Cf. St Alphonsus, III, 417.
There is currently a consensus among all sexologists that deep kissing is the most powerful aprodisiac.
"Even in the certain absence of any voluptuous purpose, actions which are materially indecent can only be justified, outside of marriage, by a proportionate motive : they remain, in fact, a more or less forthcoming occasion of sin and scandal."
"But where this reason exists there is no fault."
[...]
"Kisses and embraces, if they proceed from venial vanity, playfulness, curiosity, impetuosity, and even sensuality, do not exceed venial fault, if there is no venereal delight, nor any search for delight ; if it occurs unexpectedly, and is immediately repelled." Cf. St Alphonsus, III, 418.
In summary, kissing is a mortal sin if it is libidinous/produced by libidinous desire. It is venial if it is inadvertently consummated and then immediately repulsed and does not create a scandal. And it is licit within marriage or outside it when there is a legitimate reason for it (St. Alphonsus says that *the custom* of a country is one [cf. III, 483]) without there being a voluptuous desire.
And as Pope Alexander VII recalls, Decree of 24 September 1665, condemnation of lax moral errors - (quoted in *Denzinger*, 2060) :
40.- "It is a probable opinion, that one which says that a kiss given because of the carnal and sensitive delectation which the kiss affords, without peril of subsequent consent and pollution, is a venial sin only."
Everything is perfectly explained by Aquinas in the: ST. II-IIa, Q. 154, a. 4 : Is there mortal sin in touching and kissing, and in other such caresses ?*
@@Arcticroberto9376 I'm sure you realize sexual acts or intimacy isn't evil or bad in itself, but it must be reserved for marriage, correct? If you're consistent with this line of thinking you could say Catholicism teaches that the marital act is bad because it's to be reserved for married couples only.
Disagree completely. My ex husband treated me fine before we were married but once married he expected me to be a drudge with no say in anything. Maybe if we had lived together I would have found this out and I would never have married him. It was a disaster and Ixwas dreadfully unhappy for 10 years Definitely bad
Father do you have a photographic mind?
Romans 1 is not talking about the LGBT community because, first off, it's referring to only straight couples. Plus, God did it on purpose because they were trying to procreate during orgies. It wouldn't make sense for same-sex couples anyhow. Male or female is determined by gender located in the brain. Romans 1 is not referring to Eunuchs where one partner is transgender.
Matthew 19:12 Eunuchs that are born that way are transgender. Eunuchs made that way by others were abused. Those that choose to live like Eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven are bisexual people that choose partners at the same sex but opposite in gender. Male or female is determined by gender located in the brain. I am Elijah of Malachi so that means any discrepancies in the Bible are decided by me.
Malachi 2 proves Malachi 3 is talking to the thieving church leaders and it is the answer to end covid. When all the thieving ministers return the money, God will in covid. All major churches around the world have known this since August of 2020 but they love money so much they are intentionally choosing to kill people with covid instead of repenting.
Anyone collecting money for ministering, anyone saying same-sex marriage is a sin, are all blacked out from the holy Spirit and will remain in the Great tribulation until they repent or way too long and die with the wicked instead. The Great tribulation began September 1st. Judges, police, politicians, and rich people will all need to repent as well and are blacked out until they do or wait too long and die. James 5:2 the money of the rich is only being used as evidence to burn them.
.
.
.
Anyone that deletes the messages sent from the messenger of Malachi 31 rejects Jesus herself and will automatically die with the wicked.
.
.
.
. Anything based on gender norms in the Bible was merely cultural and no longer applies.
.
.
.jh
because it's a mortal sin
Gregory,
living togerther is the only way to really get to know the other person. One cannot rely only on the "dating" phase. Dating itself is too shallow. One needs/wants to find the perfect person.And marriage is not a play ground.
Some people live together because they don’t have enough money to afford a place by themselves. There are specific rules that allow people to live together as brothers and sisters. Men and women can live in the same house if everyone has their own bed and men and women have separate bathrooms. There are other circumstances too with rules. Can we look into this for everyone?
:35 You should not say, "christian and Catholic" because it make Catholics sound non-christian.
first
Third
fourth
Also women should not being wearing skin-tight jeans that hug and reveal every inch of flesh like the picture in the thumbnail for this video. This fashion/manner of dress absolutely is against chastity, and modesty, and offends God greatly. Come on people read up on Our Lady of Fatima, and the writings of Sister Lucy. It’s the LEAST we can do for the Good Lord. Especially on a Catholic RUclips channel.
@Deston Swan lol
Wrong. Anything based on gender norms in the Bible was merely cultural and no longer applies..
Romans 1 is not talking about the LGBT community because, first off, it's referring to only straight couples. Plus, God did it on purpose because they were trying to procreate during orgies. It wouldn't make sense for same-sex couples anyhow. Male or female is determined by gender located in the brain. Romans 1 is not referring to Eunuchs where one partner is transgender.
Matthew 19:12 Eunuchs that are born that way are transgender. Eunuchs made that way by others were abused. Those that choose to live like Eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven are bisexual people that choose partners at the same sex but opposite in gender. Male or female is determined by gender located in the brain. I am Elijah of Malachi so that means any discrepancies in the Bible are decided by me.
Malachi 2 proves Malachi 3 is talking to the thieving church leaders and it is the answer to end covid. When all the thieving ministers return the money, God will in covid. All major churches around the world have known this since August of 2020 but they love money so much they are intentionally choosing to kill people with covid instead of repenting.
Anyone collecting money for ministering, anyone saying same-sex marriage is a sin, are all blacked out from the holy Spirit and will remain in the Great tribulation until they repent or way too long and die with the wicked instead. The Great tribulation began September 1st. Judges, police, politicians, and rich people will all need to repent as well and are blacked out until they do or wait too long and die. James 5:2 the money of the rich is only being used as evidence to burn them.
.
.
.
Anyone that deletes the messages sent from the messenger of Malachi 31 rejects Jesus herself and will automatically die with the wicked.
.
.
.
. Anything based on gender norms in the Bible was merely cultural and no longer applies.
.
.
.
But father, how am I meant to know if she farts in bed or not?
This is deep Anglican thought LOL
Shouldnt?. It must be be forbidden. It's mortal sin. You cant take communion if you live in fornication. The right word is "couldnt". Fornication is forbidden by church law. I dont know why vatican 2 sect is lukewarn on everything.
Nice
What? If you are trying to be head of the household like God intended, the ONLY leverage you have is your money. In a state run marriage, the State, followed by the WOMAN is your boss. So you fail there as a weakling. So you got 2 options, 1 don't get married so you can be the 'RULER' and retain the leverage, or have secret weddings where the state is not involved. As of now, marriage is corrupted by state intrusions, you can not be the Ruler as God intended, and thus unrighteous. If you don't marry, and simply cohabitate, it is not your sin to bear, because the weaklings and corrupters of marriage also raised corrupted daughters, that is on them for making the game unwinnable. If you marry you sin for being weak and under the rule of Eve, if you don't marry you sin for being fornicator? Unwinnable game they created.
Sińce when weakness is a sin ?
Romans 1 is not talking about the LGBT community because, first off, it's referring to only straight couples. Plus, God did it on purpose because they were trying to procreate during orgies. It wouldn't make sense for same-sex couples anyhow. Male or female is determined by gender located in the brain. Romans 1 is not referring to Eunuchs where one partner is transgender.
Matthew 19:12 Eunuchs that are born that way are transgender. Eunuchs made that way by others were abused. Those that choose to live like Eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven are bisexual people that choose partners at the same sex but opposite in gender. Male or female is determined by gender located in the brain. I am Elijah of Malachi so that means any discrepancies in the Bible are decided by me.
Malachi 2 proves Malachi 3 is talking to the thieving church leaders and it is the answer to end covid. When all the thieving ministers return the money, God will in covid. All major churches around the world have known this since August of 2020 but they love money so much they are intentionally choosing to kill people with covid instead of repenting.
Anyone collecting money for ministering, anyone saying same-sex marriage is a sin, are all blacked out from the holy Spirit and will remain in the Great tribulation until they repent or way too long and die with the wicked instead. The Great tribulation began September 1st. Judges, police, politicians, and rich people will all need to repent as well and are blacked out until they do or wait too long and die. James 5:2 the money of the rich is only being used as evidence to burn them.
.
.
.
Anyone that deletes the messages sent from the messenger of Malachi 31 rejects Jesus herself and will automatically die with the wicked.
.
.
.
.hg
What you say is wrong. Anything based on gender norms in the Bible was merely cultural and no longer applies.
@@Mila-kz8tt failing God's will has always been a 'weakness.' Becoming Ahab (a villain) because Jezebel told him to be effeminate, is counter to strength Elijah provided. Imagine Elijah, being the last man with Strength on Earth to believe in God, then decided and being convinced to become likewise an effeminate like all the rest, bowing to other ideologies and idols. Well, you can imagine, since he was the very last man at the time to believe in God, that if he followed the way of Ahab, then there would be no more Christianity in existence. And instead of siding with Elijah, you spit in his face.