I couldn't fight back to bullies because if I tried, I'd get in trouble and a busted face. So I did what I could, act annoying. Sure I'd be lonely till the 2nd year of high school but not many bullies wanted to bully someone who kissed their shoes and called them their lovers. Yeah, not the best of ideas but I was in elementary so to me it sounded perfect. The most bullying after that was verbal and not physical.
Interesting thing, my college made us watch a little video about what to do if a killer shows up on campus, and they basically said "your safety is more important to us than theirs, do what you can to defend yourself." So, someone out there is thinking right.
One motto I have is "praise those that do not seek violence but call them fools if they do not defend themselves."Maybe not the best motto but I think it gets the points across.
I could not agree with you more whole heartedly, Lily. When I was younger I was made fun of a few times for my weight. My first instinct, after telling them to stop, was to go to an adult for help. And what good did it do me? Nothing. I was simply told to ignore the problem. You know what did work? When I kicked them so hard that their leg gave out and they fell to the ground. Did I get in trouble? You bet I did. Did I care? NO! BECAUSE IT WORKED! They never bothered me again after they knew I had no problem physically fighting back! As a favorite abridged series of mine has stated: "The power of love is bullshit. The power of swords and violence, that's where the money is!"
"If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world remains the same." -Batman. "Okay, but if you kill 100 killers, then it goes down by 99." -Someone Much Smarter
I've thrown one punch against a bully. In that one punch I blinded him, because he had one bad eye. After that point I made sure that the bullies were aware, that no matter what they do, no matter how they approached me. I knew their weaknesses, and I knew how best to exploit it. Weather it was physically, or socially, or exploit the system of the school. I made sure they knew, I was smarter than them, I was better than them, I could take a hit better than them, and I am one they should fear, not the other way around.
the only problem with fighting the bully back is when the schools dont punish the bully but you instead...trust me its happened to me 2 times before...
I always hated schools (especially American schools) that tell students that "violence is the wrong choice and that you should consult an adult to issue" but then nothing gets done or lite hand slapping to bullying. Stuff like this doesn't stop bullying, it just lets bullies know that they won't be punished hard and will keep at it. Sometimes it takes a sucker punch to the face to get an asshat to learn not to deal with you again.
My ex was emotionally abusive. When i finally left him, he refused to take no for an answer. He stalked me for over three months, stared at me in class, and harassed me online. This went on for YEARS and i refused to do anything or tell anyone. I know for a fact that if i threatened to harm him if he continued to invade my privacy, he would have immediately disappeared. I was too scared of using violence due to my schools “no tolerance” bullshit that i allowed this fucking douche to control my life for 3 years after i dumped him. Nicely asking my ex to leave me alone would not have done shit. Secondly, my best friend was raped. It was the most traumatizing thing that ever happened to her and it destroyed her self esteem for YEARS, which lead to her many suicide attempts. She felt that she had no power to use violence, as she would get in trouble with authority figures and the kid would lie about what happened. Because of this, the kid continually harassed her. He saw her as an easy target and abused the system. Violence is a necessary evil, especially in a world that refuses to protect people like us from abuse.
It's videos like these that I subscribed for. After watching this I thought back to all the times I used "violence begets more violence" and similar phrases only to realize that I did nothing to help and things only got better when someone got really involved in the matter. It's a real eye opener.
I am a victim of bullying and Lily is right. Most parents and teachers either give you terrible solutions or just don't want/can't be bothered to help you. My mother didn't care AT ALL and my father didn't really get it, so I have started starving myself and my friends either have noticed or they just don't care, and I really can't be bothered to keep the friendship going. So thank you Lily. Thank you for voicing all of thoughts for the last nine years
Honestly the whole "moral high ground" thing reminds me a lot of when I was bullied at school I tried talking to teachers about it and it didn't help because either they didn't try to help at all or they did but the bullies didn't care but what did work was me fighting back after kicking my bullies in the groin at full force they gave up and people said to me "Oh you could have hurt them for life!" my response was a simple "They should of thought of that before they assaulted me" they weren't thinking of my future why should I care about there's?
I was bullied, I try using the peaceful solutions it dont work. so walk into class one day and slam my bully's head in his desk. he never mess with me again. so try the peaceful solutions, if they don't work, use violence. Agree with that violence sure be use sometimes. as sometimes violence is the only way to handle the situation.
I fucking love you for saying all this when I was a little kid I used to get physically abused by a family member but I would always get part of the blame for "fighting back" (I put that in quotations because I didn't even hit my abuser, I only tried to get her off me) after a while it got to the point where I almost felt like I deserved it, and a couple of times I just let it happen not only was I left with the mental scars of being beat on constantly, I had to work at convincing myself that I didn't actually deserve it and that I shouldn't just let myself be a human doormat the whole idea of not fighting violence with violence pretty much ruined my childhood and I'm just waiting for the day that idea dies
Thank you! Tired of being look down just cuz I tell my nieces and nephews to beat their bullies. And teaching them how to fight and team up after so call peaceful solutions fail.
"Who the fuck is in a position to judge me for it? God? Yeah, glass houses, buddy." Now one of my favorite lines from Lily. All playfulness aside, I really appreciate how much of a "take no shit from anyone" kind of woman you are, and how you reflect this position and extend the same advice in your work: "If someone pushes you, push back until they stop bothering to get up to try to push again." I really wish someone like you was around when I was little and getting told the "Sticks and stones" mantra; or god forbid, "Oh, they're just boys. They pick on you because that's how they show they like you." Yes, I could totally feel the affection replacing the feeling in my face after getting footballs thrown at my face. Honestly, it's gross how kids are basically told to let others make their lives miserable. These kinds of videos are ones I really appreciate; you're a big inspiration for me, both as a person and a content creator/writer. Keep up the good work, Lily!
I like that, choose the best option then do it, philosophy it doesn't over-encourage violence nor does it dismiss it. Lily you are extremely articulate.
I agree with this argument, to a point. Though there are many who try to take the "moral high ground" to look and feel superior, I think a lot of other people just don't want to deal with the fact that life isn't fair. As human beings, our brains look for patterns and predictability, and rules and morality allow a sense of fairness and familiarity that follows that instinct. Unfortunately for us, life isn't fair 99% of the time, and life tends to be unpredictable, which doesn't sit well for the human brain's perception of reality. In any case, people probably promote this idea of the moral high ground in the hopes that if everyone followed those rules, life would be more fair, and therefore, more pleasant. Even people that do seem superficial probably feel this kind of despair subconsciously. As a whole society, to try to improve life on the whole and have something to live for (a source of hope), there needs to be a promotion of non-violence. But yes, people should be educated on the details and the specifics of violence, instead of trying to ignore it all together and proclaim an absolute. Nothing is absolute in the universe, so people need to learn to constantly be flexible. (Sorry if this came off as being too repetitive or poorly written)
Videos like this is why I am subscribed to you Lily, Moral is somthing that let's too much bullying happen, it is rather refreshing to see someone with an understanding of "Grey Morality". 'For it is the better way, to fight for yourself, and the people you care about, and then face the consequences than to sit by idly and comfortably, and watch yourself suffer' (I apologise for any grammatical errors, since English is not my first language, and I usualy don't comment)
Honestly I agree with you. I am usually a peaceful person, however being a small female who seems an easy target changed my point of view fast, and learning Taekwondo and how to protect myself has shown me that there is a time for violence just as there is a time for peace. Also it's funny you brought up bat man in your argument, because my husband always says that he is the biggest VILLAIN in the DC universe! All because he never KILLED the Joker. In the old cartoon and many of the comics it became a pattern that Batman arrested the Joker and then he would Escape and kill hundreds of people every episode just to be put back in a jail that obviously can't hold him just so he can escape and kill again. I don't usually condone lethal violence if there's another option but if one crazy man's death can save the lives of thousands not doing that makes you just as bad if not worse!
I remember when I was going through school there was a kid on the bus who used to bully me relentlessly. he also bullied the friend I'd sat with. That friend had a rolling backpack that broke. One day she'd had enough and she took the metal rod out and beat him over the head with it. That asshole still has a scar on his forehead and after she did that he never dared talk to us or about us ever again. And I'm pretty damn sure he is still terrified of her. I know he's terrified of me just by association.
I was bullied in school and while my parents were supportive the teachers did nothing to stop it and actively found excuses to blame me and brand me a trouble make over it. but they never went near me outside of school why? because they tried once and missed the fact that my mom was in the car nearby. I guess I'd come home in tears one to many time cause she snapped stormed out of the car screaming at them to "get the F***k away from me" let just say they ran fast and avoid me outside of school after that. there are people who would say that what mom did was extreme but it worked. Bullies generally stops if their are actual consequence to their action and if the people in charge don't do anything they really shouldn't be able to complain when you take matters into your own hands. I didn't fight back because I didn't want the teacher to hate me more than they all ready did in hindsight I don't think anything could have
I may think you're a bit extreme sometimes, but there are SO many things in this video that I couldn't agree with you more on. I was a victim of bullying in my elementary school years, and every time I told an adult, nothing was done, and they continued to harass me. It didn't help that my parents weren't willing to bother listening to my pleas for help. I'm still emotionally damaged to this day, and it takes all my willpower to not punch those same bullies in the face. I try not to be violent, but it's not beneath me.
I certainly agree with your points, Lily, although I have a solution which doesn't require violence. Of course, it doesn't work when the bully has been threatening you for a long time and you just feel weak and destroyed, and have no power or will to do anything, but in that case the best solution is to ask someone for help to show that you're not alone. But anyway. Maybe it just works for me personally because I can use words very effectively, but I just make the bully feel like they are the weak ones. Of course, it doesn't begin with harassment straight away, at first I just tell them that I don't care about anything they say and they better just fuck off. If they don't, well, they were warned. I go "Please, get out of my life because you are not in any way important to me" and start to tell them how stupid they really are if they just think bullying is something that they think is fun and they won't get punished. The thing is, I never lie when I say that. They are cowards and I do not care about their shit. If they do not fuck off, well, they were warned. I will insist a teacher or an adult on a punishment and make them suffer like they did to everybody they bullied. They are cowards, it's easy to make them scared. It doesn't always work, but most of the time they will be scared at a simple "Meet me after school". If they do not show up, you can easily call them cowards and say "Well, who is the weak one now?". Well, there's always an option to get their ass kicked if words don't work. Laughing at them, although, always made them fuck off in my school. Adults don't always help, and I learned that the hard way. There was a situation when my friend was being bullied and we came to an adult three times in row, sometimes with my friend crying, and the only response was: "ignore them". Just "ignore them". Just fucking "ignore them" when the adult had access to a list of in-school punishments and a phone number of the people who can punish them even more. This is the problem. Ignoring is helpful when the actual problem isn't directed at you. For example an idiot who is behaving stupid can be ignored. That's fine. But when he directs the stupidity at you, that's when the "ignoring method" so beloved by teachers in schools doesn't work. Actually ignoring is like letting someone beat you up until he is bored of you instead of defending. The bully will get bored eventually, but the damage he had done will still be there. And who knows, maybe the bully won't get bored until the damage is critical. I just realized I write a whole essay. Oh well.
I never had to deal with direct bullying coming my way before, but I have always agreed to kicking bully's arse's. My parents told me repeatedly that if I were ever bullied, to try and solve it with the teachers or by telling them to stop, and if that did not work, I should next kick the bullies arse, or get beat up trying. In fact, My dad even said he'd take me on vacation if I were suspended for self defense. I also find it ironic as hell itself that some conservatives, or even anyone who loves the United states and worships the founding fathers, claims that "violence only begets more violence". Did they not understand what a REVOLUTION was?! Britain didn't let the U.S. be a nation because John Hancock asserted himself in the declaration of independence. I believe everyone knows how the United States revolution worked out, as Britain gave up once the war got hard and expensive. The only gray area I find in the choosing to use violence is being able to tell if you are on the right side, more applicable to war than the schoolyard. For instance, North Korea believes that they are in the moral right, and the rest of the world oppresses them causing their lives to suck. If they initiated a war with South Korea and NATO, They would think it their own "last resort", as the world wouldn't accept them as "the true and only Korea". Of course, I am not smart enough to deduce who all should initiate violence outside of obvious self defense.
I finally chose to fight back. I broke her nose after she told me that my mom didn't love me and that's why I'm adopted. I got suspended for a week but it was worth it. Thank you Lily. 😊
I'll always remember the time in secondary school when my friend was being bullied by a group of boys, and one day she just snapped and straight up threw one of the boys across the room into a table. It didn't entirely stop the bullying, but that guy sure as shit never picked on anyone again.
you know something funny , sometime ago in school we had a how to deal with bullies thing, and the guy actually said to fight the bully because trying to do it non violently usually doesn't work and that there just cowards.And I think he was from a catholic college.
Honestly, most people who preach violence is never the answer either never been bullied or were bullies themselves, I agree with Lily that violence is an acceptable last resort. Personally I was also bullied in high school, and thankfully when I went to the authorities, albeit several times, they took action & I was never bullied again, but I was entirely ready to physically retaliate if that didn't work.
I could talk about past bullying experiences but really it's not interesting to anyone but me so. Daredevil season 2 had a similar dilemma where Daredevil, an antikill hero in the first place, decides that Punisher's way, an extremely prokill view, might be the solution to his problem. He doesn't really kill anyone in the finale to the best of my knowledge but doesn't blink an eye (heh) when bad guys are killed.
i wish more people would realized this truth and that if you want something done you are going to have hurt someone's feeling or kill someone to make it happen and sometimes the "villain" needs to die for the rest of the world to safe
Lily, I don't always agree with you these days. I enjoy your content, i do. This is one exception to my history with your opinions. I can verify that Violence CAN IN FACT function as a solution. I am a pansexual person, and in highschool I had a girlfriend named Alice. A kid at my school verbally assaulted me on the daily for being queer, saying things like "Are you gay because you're so hideous or because noone could ever possibly love you?" In response I beat his face in outside the band room. His nose was swollen for days and honestly, the suspension was worth it, cause when I got back, he APOLOGIZED. The son of a preacher apologized for homophobia. Because I stood UP to him. Long story short, although I'm friends with Toonkritic, I have to deeply disagree with him on this front. If you fear for your life, you should always stand up.
Great message. Wish I'd have been taught to fight my bullies growing up rather than just ignore them like everyone told me to do. I might have been a stronger person today if I were more of a fighter in my childhood. I am learning to be one, though. Especially since I joined the Navy. I believe instead of "Speak out against bullying" it should be "Fight back against bullying". That's how I'm going to raise my kids.
Seeing Toonkritic's message to you at 5:43 is so hilarious. "How DARE you say mean things about my friends and colleagues! I will NEVER be as horrible a content creator as you!" The irony is dense.
I subscribed for exactly videos like this. I was bullied a lot when I was in Jr. High and early High School. You were absolutely right that teachers and parents do absolutely nothing. That's exactly what happened to me. It actually went on literally right in front of the teachers face and he never did jack shit about it.
I've always held your opinions in high regard. Not because of any bias I have toward you and not because they line up with my views (most of the time the opposite is true), but because you're very talented at articulating your opinions. I've been watching your videos since the RVI days, and I've seen you hone this ability for a long time. The reason I'm remembering all of this now is simply for the reason that this is one of the first videos I've agreed with you on whole-heartedly. A lot of the time your videos make me re-consider my current opinions, but this time it was as if you were reading the points off of a checklist I was adding to as you went along. It was amazing, and the way you've worked on your flow is excellent. The free-speech thing is something I continue to disagree with you on, as well as the reasons you harbour ill-opinions of other RUclipsrs I respect, but the fact of the matter is that you've made me properly sit down and think about why I respect them, why I support their opinions (mostly), and my own set of beliefs on real world issues. Thank you for making such excellent content, and I long for the day I can become a heroic patreon and have a somewhat formal discussion with you about said topics (with the added benefit of supporting you!). Please continue to make content. I appreciate it greatly.
"If you kill a killer, the number of killers stay the same." But if there are 100 killers and you kill ten, then that's only 91 killers. And then if you kill 100 killers, there's only one. And since you only kill killers, in this scenario nobody else would be killed. Not my idea unfortunately, saw this on Tumblr once. Regardless, well done, very good points all around. If someone tries to hurt me or my family, you can bet I'm going to do whatever I can to make them pay. And when I become a father someday, I'm definitely going to impart my mother's advice onto my child(ren.) "Don't start the fight. But make sure you finish it."
I came into this glass of water wanting to be upset with you because that statement sounded so inflammatory but I ended up agreeing with you on all accounts. As someone who was bullied all through elementary school to the point of panning out my own suicide, I have some experience with bullies. I continued to be bullied on and off throughout middle school and high school. You know what made each bully stop or give up, me or my parents making there lives a living hell each time they tried. I didn't actually beat people up, our tactics where more political. I once hade a teacher try to punish me and throw me under the bus for stupid reasons (trust me this was a case of bullying), my parents and I fought him every step of the way and ended up humiliating him I front of the entire class and all his coworkers, that asshole never bothered me again. We had kids in elementary vandalize our garage insulting me, we called there parents and made them scrub our garage in front of us, never heard from them again. There're was once a girl in school that got all her friends together to call me names, I kicked one of her teeth out, ok they weren't all political but she still never bothered me again. My point is, I have experience with bully's and they don't stop until you make them want to stop.
The exact thoughts of a bullying and suicide survivor at 4:25-5:00. "What? You just compared somebody trying to take my life from me with someone who only wants to ruin my da-- (thinks about how different my life could have been had I stood up to my bullies; had I not let them ruin not just my day, but my life; had I not retreated inward as a defense mechanism and became painfully introverted as a result; they essentially "took my life from me," not in the present, but in the future.) "I'm listening..." This is why I stayed subbed to you when you and Josh had your falling out. I may not agree with you all the time, but what can I expect? We are two humans. Of course we're going to disagree from time to time. But chances are, that's because I'm not correct 100% of the time.
We use that phrase because if a problem that uses violence as a way to get our point across then it will make it worse. When avatar Aang had to that decision that you said he only did the removing of the bending trick because he stuck to his morals by keeping him alive because he is a human being and got rid of his bending because so he will not be much of a threat to the fire kingdom. Now violence iin kids shows only happen because it is exciting it gives us thrills like who will win in the real world people only give backlash to this because either hhey do not understand or they do not understand why they did it and that "violence only begets more violence" quote should not be used if people do not understand what it means.
I know I say this a lot to your videos in some degree, and I swear I'm not trying to kiss ass here, but seriously, thanks for this. First off, it lets me know what kind of person you truly are, which is someone I'd want to one day consider a friend (whenever I post my first youtube video, I would be honored if you looked at it, as you are my inspiration on here). Second of all, this ACTUALLY helped me with a moral dilemma that I've been dealing with. Once again, thanks Lily. Don't stop being you, EVER.
I asked you about the bully Who drove one of my best friends to attempting suicide. It was his fault. He also said an incredibly racist comment to my friend for being the Vietnamese. One of my other very close friends and I have to bite our tongues, dig our nails into our skin just to keep us from doing anything to hurt him. I want to bash is facing but I want a good job and I want to go to a good college, so it probably won't happen. He won't get the beating he deserves because I'm a coward.
Oh, and one more thing. If you're small, and weak, like me, how the bloody hell are you supposed to beat up someone who is twice your size? I appreciate the groin is an option, but what if this bully is female? I know that it still hurts, but it's not nearly as debilitating.
Stricter gun control. However, any half-decent gun control measure is likely to find the vast majority of Americans disqualified from owning weapons. It's become common knowledge over the years that the average American is laughably below the psychological standard for gun ownership in civilized countries.
^this is why i love your content Lily :-) I totally agree that violence, i some cases, are a valid option when diplomacy fails. In about a decade ago, when i was in high school, i actually took this to heart. lets just say the bullying stopped after one of the bullies got i bit of a beat down...
Thank you for talking about this. While I've never been bullied myself, I have for the longest time believed that if i were put in a similar situation the option of violence would be on the table. I wouldn't start the fight but I would sure enough end it. While I haven't always agreed with your point of view Lily, I have however appreciated the topics you do talk about. I learn from them and grow which I am graciously thankful for. Keep doing good work.
I couldn't fight back to bullies because if I tried, I'd get in trouble and a busted face. So I did what I could, act annoying. Sure I'd be lonely till the 2nd year of high school but not many bullies wanted to bully someone who kissed their shoes and called them their lovers. Yeah, not the best of ideas but I was in elementary so to me it sounded perfect. The most bullying after that was verbal and not physical.
That's so devious. I love it.
Interesting thing, my college made us watch a little video about what to do if a killer shows up on campus, and they basically said "your safety is more important to us than theirs, do what you can to defend yourself." So, someone out there is thinking right.
One motto I have is "praise those that do not seek violence but call them fools if they do not defend themselves."Maybe not the best motto but I think it gets the points across.
I could not agree with you more whole heartedly, Lily. When I was younger I was made fun of a few times for my weight. My first instinct, after telling them to stop, was to go to an adult for help. And what good did it do me?
Nothing. I was simply told to ignore the problem.
You know what did work? When I kicked them so hard that their leg gave out and they fell to the ground. Did I get in trouble? You bet I did. Did I care? NO! BECAUSE IT WORKED! They never bothered me again after they knew I had no problem physically fighting back!
As a favorite abridged series of mine has stated: "The power of love is bullshit. The power of swords and violence, that's where the money is!"
"If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world remains the same." -Batman.
"Okay, but if you kill 100 killers, then it goes down by 99." -Someone Much Smarter
I've thrown one punch against a bully. In that one punch I blinded him, because he had one bad eye. After that point I made sure that the bullies were aware, that no matter what they do, no matter how they approached me. I knew their weaknesses, and I knew how best to exploit it. Weather it was physically, or socially, or exploit the system of the school.
I made sure they knew, I was smarter than them, I was better than them, I could take a hit better than them, and I am one they should fear, not the other way around.
the only problem with fighting the bully back is when the schools dont punish the bully but you instead...trust me its happened to me 2 times before...
I personally believe that a suspension is worth it.
I always hated schools (especially American schools) that tell students that "violence is the wrong choice and that you should consult an adult to issue" but then nothing gets done or lite hand slapping to bullying. Stuff like this doesn't stop bullying, it just lets bullies know that they won't be punished hard and will keep at it. Sometimes it takes a sucker punch to the face to get an asshat to learn not to deal with you again.
My ex was emotionally abusive. When i finally left him, he refused to take no for an answer. He stalked me for over three months, stared at me in class, and harassed me online. This went on for YEARS and i refused to do anything or tell anyone. I know for a fact that if i threatened to harm him if he continued to invade my privacy, he would have immediately disappeared. I was too scared of using violence due to my schools “no tolerance” bullshit that i allowed this fucking douche to control my life for 3 years after i dumped him. Nicely asking my ex to leave me alone would not have done shit.
Secondly, my best friend was raped. It was the most traumatizing thing that ever happened to her and it destroyed her self esteem for YEARS, which lead to her many suicide attempts. She felt that she had no power to use violence, as she would get in trouble with authority figures and the kid would lie about what happened. Because of this, the kid continually harassed her. He saw her as an easy target and abused the system.
Violence is a necessary evil, especially in a world that refuses to protect people like us from abuse.
It's videos like these that I subscribed for. After watching this I thought back to all the times I used "violence begets more violence" and similar phrases only to realize that I did nothing to help and things only got better when someone got really involved in the matter. It's a real eye opener.
I am a victim of bullying and Lily is right. Most parents and teachers either give you terrible solutions or just don't want/can't be bothered to help you. My mother didn't care AT ALL and my father didn't really get it, so I have started starving myself and my friends either have noticed or they just don't care, and I really can't be bothered to keep the friendship going. So thank you Lily. Thank you for voicing all of thoughts for the last nine years
Honestly the whole "moral high ground" thing reminds me a lot of when I was bullied at school I tried talking to teachers about it and it didn't help because either they didn't try to help at all or they did but the bullies didn't care but what did work was me fighting back after kicking my bullies in the groin at full force they gave up and people said to me "Oh you could have hurt them for life!" my response was a simple "They should of thought of that before they assaulted me" they weren't thinking of my future why should I care about there's?
As a dad, I have my daughter
"If someone, anyone tries to hurt you or make you their victim-
You make them your victim."
I was bullied, I try using the peaceful solutions it dont work. so walk into class one day and slam my bully's head in his desk. he never mess with me again.
so try the peaceful solutions, if they don't work, use violence.
Agree with that violence sure be use sometimes. as sometimes violence is the only way to handle the situation.
"The pacifist is as surely a traitor to his country and to humanity as is the most brutal wrongdoer."
-Theodore Roosevelt
I fucking love you for saying all this
when I was a little kid I used to get physically abused by a family member but I would always get part of the blame for "fighting back" (I put that in quotations because I didn't even hit my abuser, I only tried to get her off me) after a while it got to the point where I almost felt like I deserved it, and a couple of times I just let it happen
not only was I left with the mental scars of being beat on constantly, I had to work at convincing myself that I didn't actually deserve it and that I shouldn't just let myself be a human doormat
the whole idea of not fighting violence with violence pretty much ruined my childhood and I'm just waiting for the day that idea dies
Thank you! Tired of being look down just cuz I tell my nieces and nephews to beat their bullies. And teaching them how to fight and team up after so call peaceful solutions fail.
"Who the fuck is in a position to judge me for it? God? Yeah, glass houses, buddy." Now one of my favorite lines from Lily.
All playfulness aside, I really appreciate how much of a "take no shit from anyone" kind of woman you are, and how you reflect this position and extend the same advice in your work: "If someone pushes you, push back until they stop bothering to get up to try to push again." I really wish someone like you was around when I was little and getting told the "Sticks and stones" mantra; or god forbid, "Oh, they're just boys. They pick on you because that's how they show they like you."
Yes, I could totally feel the affection replacing the feeling in my face after getting footballs thrown at my face. Honestly, it's gross how kids are basically told to let others make their lives miserable.
These kinds of videos are ones I really appreciate; you're a big inspiration for me, both as a person and a content creator/writer. Keep up the good work, Lily!
I like that, choose the best option then do it, philosophy it doesn't over-encourage violence nor does it dismiss it. Lily you are extremely articulate.
I agree with this argument, to a point. Though there are many who try to take the "moral high ground" to look and feel superior, I think a lot of other people just don't want to deal with the fact that life isn't fair. As human beings, our brains look for patterns and predictability, and rules and morality allow a sense of fairness and familiarity that follows that instinct. Unfortunately for us, life isn't fair 99% of the time, and life tends to be unpredictable, which doesn't sit well for the human brain's perception of reality. In any case, people probably promote this idea of the moral high ground in the hopes that if everyone followed those rules, life would be more fair, and therefore, more pleasant. Even people that do seem superficial probably feel this kind of despair subconsciously. As a whole society, to try to improve life on the whole and have something to live for (a source of hope), there needs to be a promotion of non-violence. But yes, people should be educated on the details and the specifics of violence, instead of trying to ignore it all together and proclaim an absolute. Nothing is absolute in the universe, so people need to learn to constantly be flexible.
(Sorry if this came off as being too repetitive or poorly written)
Videos like this is why I am subscribed to you Lily,
Moral is somthing that let's too much bullying happen,
it is rather refreshing to see someone with an understanding of "Grey Morality".
'For it is the better way, to fight for yourself, and the people you care about, and then face the consequences
than to sit by idly and comfortably, and watch yourself suffer'
(I apologise for any grammatical errors, since English is not my first language, and I usualy don't comment)
Hey, you speak English better than I speak your first language.
thanks Lily you are an inspiration
Honestly I agree with you. I am usually a peaceful person, however being a small female who seems an easy target changed my point of view fast, and learning Taekwondo and how to protect myself has shown me that there is a time for violence just as there is a time for peace. Also it's funny you brought up bat man in your argument, because my husband always says that he is the biggest VILLAIN in the DC universe! All because he never KILLED the Joker. In the old cartoon and many of the comics it became a pattern that Batman arrested the Joker and then he would Escape and kill hundreds of people every episode just to be put back in a jail that obviously can't hold him just so he can escape and kill again. I don't usually condone lethal violence if there's another option but if one crazy man's death can save the lives of thousands not doing that makes you just as bad if not worse!
I remember when I was going through school there was a kid on the bus who used to bully me relentlessly. he also bullied the friend I'd sat with. That friend had a rolling backpack that broke. One day she'd had enough and she took the metal rod out and beat him over the head with it.
That asshole still has a scar on his forehead and after she did that he never dared talk to us or about us ever again. And I'm pretty damn sure he is still terrified of her. I know he's terrified of me just by association.
I was bullied in school and while my parents were supportive the teachers did nothing to stop it and actively found excuses to blame me and brand me a trouble make over it. but they never went near me outside of school why? because they tried once and missed the fact that my mom was in the car nearby. I guess I'd come home in tears one to many time cause she snapped stormed out of the car screaming at them to "get the F***k away from me" let just say they ran fast and avoid me outside of school after that. there are people who would say that what mom did was extreme but it worked. Bullies generally stops if their are actual consequence to their action and if the people in charge don't do anything they really shouldn't be able to complain when you take matters into your own hands. I didn't fight back because I didn't want the teacher to hate me more than they all ready did in hindsight I don't think anything could have
I may think you're a bit extreme sometimes, but there are SO many things in this video that I couldn't agree with you more on. I was a victim of bullying in my elementary school years, and every time I told an adult, nothing was done, and they continued to harass me. It didn't help that my parents weren't willing to bother listening to my pleas for help. I'm still emotionally damaged to this day, and it takes all my willpower to not punch those same bullies in the face. I try not to be violent, but it's not beneath me.
I certainly agree with your points, Lily, although I have a solution which doesn't require violence. Of course, it doesn't work when the bully has been threatening you for a long time and you just feel weak and destroyed, and have no power or will to do anything, but in that case the best solution is to ask someone for help to show that you're not alone. But anyway.
Maybe it just works for me personally because I can use words very effectively, but I just make the bully feel like they are the weak ones. Of course, it doesn't begin with harassment straight away, at first I just tell them that I don't care about anything they say and they better just fuck off. If they don't, well, they were warned. I go "Please, get out of my life because you are not in any way important to me" and start to tell them how stupid they really are if they just think bullying is something that they think is fun and they won't get punished. The thing is, I never lie when I say that. They are cowards and I do not care about their shit. If they do not fuck off, well, they were warned. I will insist a teacher or an adult on a punishment and make them suffer like they did to everybody they bullied.
They are cowards, it's easy to make them scared. It doesn't always work, but most of the time they will be scared at a simple "Meet me after school". If they do not show up, you can easily call them cowards and say "Well, who is the weak one now?". Well, there's always an option to get their ass kicked if words don't work. Laughing at them, although, always made them fuck off in my school.
Adults don't always help, and I learned that the hard way. There was a situation when my friend was being bullied and we came to an adult three times in row, sometimes with my friend crying, and the only response was: "ignore them". Just "ignore them". Just fucking "ignore them" when the adult had access to a list of in-school punishments and a phone number of the people who can punish them even more. This is the problem. Ignoring is helpful when the actual problem isn't directed at you. For example an idiot who is behaving stupid can be ignored. That's fine. But when he directs the stupidity at you, that's when the "ignoring method" so beloved by teachers in schools doesn't work. Actually ignoring is like letting someone beat you up until he is bored of you instead of defending. The bully will get bored eventually, but the damage he had done will still be there. And who knows, maybe the bully won't get bored until the damage is critical.
I just realized I write a whole essay. Oh well.
If you have an alternative that works, then great.
I never had to deal with direct bullying coming my way before, but I have always agreed to kicking bully's arse's. My parents told me repeatedly that if I were ever bullied, to try and solve it with the teachers or by telling them to stop, and if that did not work, I should next kick the bullies arse, or get beat up trying. In fact, My dad even said he'd take me on vacation if I were suspended for self defense.
I also find it ironic as hell itself that some conservatives, or even anyone who loves the United states and worships the founding fathers, claims that "violence only begets more violence". Did they not understand what a REVOLUTION was?! Britain didn't let the U.S. be a nation because John Hancock asserted himself in the declaration of independence. I believe everyone knows how the United States revolution worked out, as Britain gave up once the war got hard and expensive.
The only gray area I find in the choosing to use violence is being able to tell if you are on the right side, more applicable to war than the schoolyard. For instance, North Korea believes that they are in the moral right, and the rest of the world oppresses them causing their lives to suck. If they initiated a war with South Korea and NATO, They would think it their own "last resort", as the world wouldn't accept them as "the true and only Korea".
Of course, I am not smart enough to deduce who all should initiate violence outside of obvious self defense.
I finally chose to fight back. I broke her nose after she told me that my mom didn't love me and that's why I'm adopted. I got suspended for a week but it was worth it. Thank you Lily. 😊
I'll always remember the time in secondary school when my friend was being bullied by a group of boys, and one day she just snapped and straight up threw one of the boys across the room into a table. It didn't entirely stop the bullying, but that guy sure as shit never picked on anyone again.
you know something funny , sometime ago in school we had a how to deal with bullies thing, and the guy actually said to fight the bully because trying to do it non violently usually doesn't work and that there just cowards.And I think he was from a catholic college.
OK now I really want Lilly to review Steven universe Bismuth episode . people say it morally grey but it not
Honestly, most people who preach violence is never the answer either never been bullied or were bullies themselves, I agree with Lily that violence is an acceptable last resort. Personally I was also bullied in high school, and thankfully when I went to the authorities, albeit several times, they took action & I was never bullied again, but I was entirely ready to physically retaliate if that didn't work.
I could talk about past bullying experiences but really it's not interesting to anyone but me so. Daredevil season 2 had a similar dilemma where Daredevil, an antikill hero in the first place, decides that Punisher's way, an extremely prokill view, might be the solution to his problem. He doesn't really kill anyone in the finale to the best of my knowledge but doesn't blink an eye (heh) when bad guys are killed.
i wish more people would realized this truth and that if you want something done you are going to have hurt someone's feeling or kill someone to make it happen and sometimes the "villain" needs to die for the rest of the world to safe
Lily, I don't always agree with you these days. I enjoy your content, i do. This is one exception to my history with your opinions.
I can verify that Violence CAN IN FACT function as a solution. I am a pansexual person, and in highschool I had a girlfriend named Alice. A kid at my school verbally assaulted me on the daily for being queer, saying things like "Are you gay because you're so hideous or because noone could ever possibly love you?"
In response I beat his face in outside the band room. His nose was swollen for days and honestly, the suspension was worth it, cause when I got back, he APOLOGIZED. The son of a preacher apologized for homophobia. Because I stood UP to him.
Long story short, although I'm friends with Toonkritic, I have to deeply disagree with him on this front. If you fear for your life, you should always stand up.
Great message. Wish I'd have been taught to fight my bullies growing up rather than just ignore them like everyone told me to do. I might have been a stronger person today if I were more of a fighter in my childhood. I am learning to be one, though. Especially since I joined the Navy. I believe instead of "Speak out against bullying" it should be "Fight back against bullying". That's how I'm going to raise my kids.
Seeing Toonkritic's message to you at 5:43 is so hilarious. "How DARE you say mean things about my friends and colleagues! I will NEVER be as horrible a content creator as you!" The irony is dense.
I subscribed for exactly videos like this. I was bullied a lot when I was in Jr. High and early High School. You were absolutely right that teachers and parents do absolutely nothing. That's exactly what happened to me. It actually went on literally right in front of the teachers face and he never did jack shit about it.
This has to be one of your best videos, hands down. Well done!
this had to have been one of your best glass of water episodes, Lily. keep it up. your videos always get me to think
I've always held your opinions in high regard. Not because of any bias I have toward you and not because they line up with my views (most of the time the opposite is true), but because you're very talented at articulating your opinions. I've been watching your videos since the RVI days, and I've seen you hone this ability for a long time.
The reason I'm remembering all of this now is simply for the reason that this is one of the first videos I've agreed with you on whole-heartedly. A lot of the time your videos make me re-consider my current opinions, but this time it was as if you were reading the points off of a checklist I was adding to as you went along. It was amazing, and the way you've worked on your flow is excellent.
The free-speech thing is something I continue to disagree with you on, as well as the reasons you harbour ill-opinions of other RUclipsrs I respect, but the fact of the matter is that you've made me properly sit down and think about why I respect them, why I support their opinions (mostly), and my own set of beliefs on real world issues.
Thank you for making such excellent content, and I long for the day I can become a heroic patreon and have a somewhat formal discussion with you about said topics (with the added benefit of supporting you!). Please continue to make content. I appreciate it greatly.
"If you kill a killer, the number of killers stay the same."
But if there are 100 killers and you kill ten, then that's only 91 killers.
And then if you kill 100 killers, there's only one. And since you only kill killers, in this scenario nobody else would be killed.
Not my idea unfortunately, saw this on Tumblr once.
Regardless, well done, very good points all around. If someone tries to hurt me or my family, you can bet I'm going to do whatever I can to make them pay. And when I become a father someday, I'm definitely going to impart my mother's advice onto my child(ren.)
"Don't start the fight. But make sure you finish it."
I came into this glass of water wanting to be upset with you because that statement sounded so inflammatory but I ended up agreeing with you on all accounts. As someone who was bullied all through elementary school to the point of panning out my own suicide, I have some experience with bullies. I continued to be bullied on and off throughout middle school and high school. You know what made each bully stop or give up, me or my parents making there lives a living hell each time they tried. I didn't actually beat people up, our tactics where more political. I once hade a teacher try to punish me and throw me under the bus for stupid reasons (trust me this was a case of bullying), my parents and I fought him every step of the way and ended up humiliating him I front of the entire class and all his coworkers, that asshole never bothered me again. We had kids in elementary vandalize our garage insulting me, we called there parents and made them scrub our garage in front of us, never heard from them again. There're was once a girl in school that got all her friends together to call me names, I kicked one of her teeth out, ok they weren't all political but she still never bothered me again. My point is, I have experience with bully's and they don't stop until you make them want to stop.
The exact thoughts of a bullying and suicide survivor at 4:25-5:00.
"What? You just compared somebody trying to take my life from me with someone who only wants to ruin my da--
(thinks about how different my life could have been had I stood up to my bullies; had I not let them ruin not just my day, but my life; had I not retreated inward as a defense mechanism and became painfully introverted as a result; they essentially "took my life from me," not in the present, but in the future.)
"I'm listening..."
This is why I stayed subbed to you when you and Josh had your falling out. I may not agree with you all the time, but what can I expect? We are two humans. Of course we're going to disagree from time to time. But chances are, that's because I'm not correct 100% of the time.
Honestly Lily, I think you might be the only person in the MLP fandom that to escape with decent politics and morals. God bless you
Lily made me think more than I've thought ever in school. I feel liked I learned something about myself.
We use that phrase because if a problem that uses violence as a way to get our point across then it will make it worse. When avatar Aang had to that decision that you said he only did the removing of the bending trick because he stuck to his morals by keeping him alive because he is a human being and got rid of his bending because so he will not be much of a threat to the fire kingdom. Now violence iin kids shows only happen because it is exciting it gives us thrills like who will win in the real world people only give backlash to this because either hhey do not understand or they do not understand why they did it and that "violence only begets more violence" quote should not be used if people do not understand what it means.
I know I say this a lot to your videos in some degree, and I swear I'm not trying to kiss ass here, but seriously, thanks for this. First off, it lets me know what kind of person you truly are, which is someone I'd want to one day consider a friend (whenever I post my first youtube video, I would be honored if you looked at it, as you are my inspiration on here). Second of all, this ACTUALLY helped me with a moral dilemma that I've been dealing with. Once again, thanks Lily. Don't stop being you, EVER.
I asked you about the bully Who drove one of my best friends to attempting suicide. It was his fault. He also said an incredibly racist comment to my friend for being the Vietnamese. One of my other very close friends and I have to bite our tongues, dig our nails into our skin just to keep us from doing anything to hurt him. I want to bash is facing but I want a good job and I want to go to a good college, so it probably won't happen. He won't get the beating he deserves because I'm a coward.
Oh, and one more thing.
If you're small, and weak, like me, how the bloody hell are you supposed to beat up someone who is twice your size? I appreciate the groin is an option, but what if this bully is female? I know that it still hurts, but it's not nearly as debilitating.
Fight dirty. Throw rocks, swing blunt objects.
Do. Not. Fight. Fair.
there not gonna fight fair, why should you?
your points are valid but one question....why'd you pick garrosh hellscream as your your thumbnail?
It's Grommash.
SAY IT TO THOSE IN THE BACK WHO ARE BULLYING THE ONES IN THE FRONT!
well said
Question: what's you're opinion on banning guns or the less extreme stricter gun control?
Stricter gun control.
However, any half-decent gun control measure is likely to find the vast majority of Americans disqualified from owning weapons. It's become common knowledge over the years that the average American is laughably below the psychological standard for gun ownership in civilized countries.
^this is why i love your content Lily :-)
I totally agree that violence, i some cases, are a valid option when diplomacy fails.
In about a decade ago, when i was in high school, i actually took this to heart. lets just say the bullying stopped after one of the bullies got i bit of a beat down...
good for you lily someone finally speaks the truth about violence and bullies.
I love all of your videos
Thank you for talking about this. While I've never been bullied myself, I have for the longest time believed that if i were put in a similar situation the option of violence would be on the table. I wouldn't start the fight but I would sure enough end it. While I haven't always agreed with your point of view Lily, I have however appreciated the topics you do talk about. I learn from them and grow which I am graciously thankful for. Keep doing good work.
good job