At 25 (now 26) I accepted my sexuality last year after years of ignoring it. so i am so thankful for this video. It answered so many questions i have about being a 'new' lesbian, so thank you so much!!
Your smiles are so infectious and uplifting! :) keep doing what you do. Also, comment by Alexis about not feeling ashamed if you don't get "jumped on". Hilarious!! 😆
Well, as bisexual man, I could say it's not easy to came out as bisexual, because it is seen as a "girl thing", or a "phase", while that not true. I just came out bisexual 3 months ago, I feel relifed, and I got support from my wife, and my sister, but I did lost lot of people, who I though were my friends ... Anyway, we just survive ... It s a new start for me.
Congratulations on taking that big step, I’ve definitely heard so many times that people even think that bisexual men simply don’t actually exist 🙄 It’s ridiculous. But that’s an exciting new start with knowing who your true friends are and it sounds like you have an amazing supportive wife and sister! Some people may not know enough about it at first but they may come around. Thank you for sharing and sending love and good vibes ♥️ - Lilian
may I ask how your wife reacted? when my brother came out he was given the opportunity to explore, but I imagine that's difficult when u have a wife...
@just someone it did!!!!! I’m gonna go into detail 🧍🏾♀️ we went down fourth street (where it’s kinda like a pride street in Long Beach) and we went into vintage thrift stores and she bought us succulents and I bought her this candle she wanted :)) then we got funnel cakes at a lighthouse. But before all of it I got us pink drinks from Starbucks🙃
i feel like most of the advice out there regarding lesbian/bi identities revolves around the lead up to coming out and how to come out. it's helpful and refreshing to also hear advice on the post-coming out process :) thank you !!!
My closeted ass is listening to this in the bathroom so no one in my family sees or hears what im watching😅 anyway it was a great and helpful video💖 thank you for making it
Lesbian things I liked Movies: Pariah, But I’m a Cheerleader, portrait of a lady on fire, the handmaiden, booksmart, how I felt when I saw the girl, the miseducation of Cameron post, yes or no RUclipsrs: Jade fox, Ari fitz, anjali & Sufi Tv shows: oitnb, euphoria, san junipero Books: the miseducation of Cameron post, Stone butch blues
Sex tip: communication! Sometimes when you're in a relationship with queer people, you may do bedroom stuff with someone who has a complicated relationship with their body. They may not even want to receive. This surprised me at first but I've come to realize that this is okay and not an indication that you are doing anything wrong. Different people have different boundaries.
Wish I had your confidence... Im an arabic lesbian girl and I hate that. I wish I was straight because I can't even talk with my mom about that (She would never accept it) My friends are homophobic, and sometimes I say homophobic things just to prove that Im "straight". I was in love with my bestfriend ( she moved out with her boyfriend) My mom is waiting for me to get married with a man and have kids. I can't even tell my bestfriend, she will never talk to me like before if I told her. I hate my life
First of all thank you for your tipps. I have a little question: I am a little introverted and not really used to going to events especially alone. I also have never had any really active social media accounts or a lot of chatting with others. So i am kind of not sure if i want that, but i know that i would be really nervous and a little bit afraid to try any of those out. Do you or anybody here have any tipps for me how to handle my situation? Greetings from Germany
Hi! I kinda get how you feel, I'm not an extrovert, not really chatty, I barely talk about my self in social media, maybe is shyness, but I got to a point in which I would like to meet people who has kind of the same interest romantically talking, but first I don't think I look such as a straight or queer woman and I live in a very conservative country where it's not easy to talk about this topic. I had the chance to date a college classmate a couple times, but it was kind of a miracle to find someone up to, or at least things looked like that to me. Now I'm kind of stuck, I would be happy to talk to more people who has experienced or is experiencing similar situations, not exactly in a date mood but it would be amazing to make new friends. Greetings from Paraguay!
Hey Valar, Lilian here: I am also an introvert and shy, and used to be so a lot more when I was younger. I felt that I just had to push myself sometimes to out myself out there and socialize, because thats always when the best things happened, out of my comfort zone. Queer youth groups often have events with activities etc., where it's not just you and a bunch of people forced to have small talk, so I always found that that helped! Because it eases you into it and makes it easier to open up and talk to people. And then once that's happened it gets easier after. Also, volunteering for LGBT organizations is a great way to meet people, and again, often you just need to make that first connection to meet lots of other people after that! I know it's scary, but you have nothing to lose and it will get easier with time. Apps are great for introverts as well though because talking online first and then being1-1 with someone is a bit less intimidating I find. Viel Glück and liebe Grüße 😊
Hi! I'm also introverted (*very*) but i have managed to be very sociable sometimes (ideally when my social batteries are charged lol). What has worked for me: - search for advice online. most advice is bs, but some is actually useful for socially akward people like me (or us). i recommend charisma on command, and some ted talks. a guy named todd valentine is kinda too sexist for my taste, but i have found some of his techniques useful for opening up people who think they are too cool for you and that kind of things. - focus on the other person. we get nervous because we worry they will not like us, or that we are boring. truth is, most often, people like to talk about themselves: just ask them about themselves. good questions though (interesting, new, about things that they are passionate about, perhaps even a little defiant). - accept the unconfortable parts. there's a youtube psychologists (therapy in a nutshell) that explains this better than me, but the point is, anxiety/feeling bad doesn't actually do you harm, and fleeing it only reinforces the anxiety cycle. we just have to get better at feeling it. the thing is, you have to get *exposure*. - pay attention when people make you feel good with their word, and emulate them. we all have met those people, you start talking to them and you just feel better, validated, seen, more adequate. we can do good to other people too. - if you can, improve your self esteem. also big topic, a thousand ways to do it. for me it was a lot of stuff + the school of life + i started seeing the inmense value in skills that were often underapreciated coz sexism and racism and stuff, like being a good listener, making other's feel good, etc. + therapy. but when you realize you actually are a good catch, it helps. truth is, as introverted, we can be great socially, because we are very attentive and sensible and usually think a lot and have interesting internal lives. but because we often aren't very motivated to be social, we don't have much experience. but when you try it, the rewards are amazing. hope that helps.
@@prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721 thank you for sharing that with me ❤️ i really appreciate it. From what your wrote you are a lot like me :) I like to watch the school of life too, they are really helpful and their philosophy is refreshing. But it is still hard sometimes to learn to relax and not sink back in your head and drown in your thoughts while you constantly reflect on what is happening or try to solve a problem that may not even be there. That can be sooo exhausting. For me it has gotten better and i expect it to even more 🙂 tipps like yours have helped incredibly. I also have learned a lot from podcasts of a woman called Kasia Urbaniak. Maybe you would like to check that out too.
Tbh, just give it time and if you feel comfy with trying around, do that. I often say "everyone always is looking forward to decorating a cake, but to do that, you have to make the pie first. So try and focus on your own life, bake that Amazing pie. The decoration will happen later😜". So take the time, no one is forcing you in any boxes❤️
Girls, thank you so much for this video! I’ve recently discovered my sexuality and it’s been amazing for me in some aspects, like finally being able to feel like myself. I really needed a video like this. If you can, please make a video one day of the family issue, because it’s my biggest fear. I’m Brazilian and I still live with my family, although I’m 22, and they really don’t accept that I’m lesbian. Again, thank you so much, I love your channel!
Yes that's definitely a big and scary step for many people. We'd love to do a video about it, possibly with a guest who can share what it's like to deal with a family that isn't accepting. Congratulations on discovering yourself, that's such a liberating feeling and you have so much to look forward to :) Wishing you all the best!
I’m Pansexual and I have a girlfriend I’m not out to my parents but I’m out to my best friend who is bisexual My girlfriend kinda has most of the same style but I have short hair and am taller and she has long hair and is short And we’re all kinda a group and I’m in her friend group now (I make friends easily) We have kinda thought about things if we do go on a date (I would pay the first time and say that to her) We kinda just go with it UwU Im just kinda scared to come out to everyone because I live in a conservative family Although I always think about when we are older,we could walk hand in hand and kiss without worrying about our parents We said that we would figure this out and do this together ♡♡♡
I came out to my husband last night and it was the worst thing i ever did. He was so sad and disappointed and upset. I swore i didnt do anything but he thinks it's only a matter of time before I cant control myself. I swore i never would. Im so embarrassed.
I am so sorry to hear that, what an awful reaction. I am so proud of you for coming out, know you will always have our support and that you are wonderfull and amazing, just the way you are❤️❤️ sending lots of love your way xxx
I just found you and really enjoyed your video. Do you have any advice for an older individual who is coming out. I’m 61 and never pursued this due to my upbringing and real fear because of it, etc. I’ve tried getting help from others but no response. I hope I can still do this even at my age
Me reading the title of this video, before I clicked on it. "Is there really a such thing as a rookie bi sexual"? Me ten minutes in "Yes , there is , because I only came out a year ago.
Highly recommend “portrait of a lady on fire”!!! So romantic and profound. Other than those recommendations of tv shows, I would suggest Gentleman Jack and One Mississippi.
Lilian taking the ad out reminds me of "Kissing Jessica Stein" That was definitely a legit way to reach out in previous years! Of course in that movie she put an ad in the newspaper. Lol
I came out as bi last year. What I didn’t expect was that it’s harder to get dates with both men and women now. I think that is easier to handle if you’re prepared. Still I want someone who loves me for me so I’m not going to hide who I am to get dates 🙂
i'm so in love with alexissssssssssssss, everytime i'm sad or just overwhelmed by social media i come here and it just takes me like four seconds to be suddenly laughing and smiling a lot from watching her... so glad i found your videos
I didn't want to come out to my parents, I was forced to because my mom is so nosy and I had been talking to my girlfriend every day and she heard me. She asked who I was talking to and I was so annoyed I just replied I'm talking to my girlfriend. Mom was kind of offended she didn't expect it I guess.
I think I need to hire you guys as my personal introduction to the Toronto Queer Scene ..... lol. You say exactly what I have been thinking about the past few weeks since I finally stopped ignoring what I kinda knew all my life. And it's been a long life... lol. I turned 50 last year but look and act (according to everybody around me) more like I turned 40! It's funny how being cooped up at home for 6 weeks, facing 'yourself' and not being able to be distracted by life outside your home works in strange ways. Not that I am thankful for this pandemic (good grief NO) but I think it made me realize that life can be short and we should enjoy the time we have. So. Taking your advise in this video (and the other videos I have watched from you) to heart, I feel a little more 'prepared' to go out there and find like-minded people once this 'situation' lifts and we can socialize again. Thanks guys! Giant hugs (virtual and social-distancing of course) and keep making these awesome videos!! Tschuessi!!!!
Have you seen "Tell It To The Bees" yet? Soothing and fantastic lesbian movie. I enjoyed it thoroughly. The kind of fiction that honoured the real life lesbian story.
Can you guys do a video on straight girls? Either how to get over one or how to manage a friendship with one when you have feelings for her?? Or what to do when a straight girl does frustrating things to you when she knows you’re gay like stroking your arm, putting her leg on yours, staring at you in a group etcccc. Need advice for a “friend” 😂
Lexathorn you have to set boundaries even with friends. If she puts her leg on yours move away. If she stares, don’t make eye contact. Some straight girls enjoy knowing you’re into them but they don’t really take you seriously. I hope that’s not the case with you. I hope she’s either genuinely interested or doesn’t realize what she’s doing. I dealt with a friend like that then when I kind of called it out, “omg. I thought we were just really good friends” 😒. Is it possible that she actually likes you? Maybe you can find out somehow? Don’t daydream about her. Be really clear with yourself that she’s your friend. Try flirting with other people to find a new crush. Maybe take some time away from the friendship. I hope this helps. In my mind, I keep friendships and romance separate to avoid the confusion.
Hey 💙 I recommend the movie "Go Fish" (1994). It's about a lesbian girl, looking for love. And about her friends and lesbian community. Scenes are natural and beautiful. like, I am in love with this movie :D 💙
I'm always confused wether i'm bi or pan, and lately, after dating man for over 5 years, i really want to wake this sleeping side inside me and try dating girls.
Some recommendations! Novels: The Miseducation of Cameron Post, Get it Together, Delilah!, We Are Okay, Fat Angie Graphic Novels: Blue is the Warmest Color, Honor Girl, Princess Princess (that one's on RUclips somewhere I think? author is Katie O'Neill) Movies: But I'm a Cheerleader, The Miseducation of Cameron Post
the first couple of books I read when I first came out were The Miseducation of Cameron Post which is about a teenage girl growing up in the late 80's early 90's and is outed by her best friend/girl she's secretly hooking up with and as a result she gets sent to conversion camp (sounds really sad but is actually really uplifting and a really great read). the second one was called Lies We Tell Ourselves, I can't remember the exact dates but it's about two girls, one white one black, and their experiences together figuring out their sexuality in a time when black students were just introduced into traditionally white schools. Yet again sounds really sad but it is also really inspiring and really recommend.
I’ve seen lots of book recommendations so I’m going to list my favs. These are mostly directed to young teen/ teen and not all of them are lesbian books. I wish you the best The mighty heart of sunny st. James Ivy Ab My life as a dimond None of the above One true way Symptoms of being human This is how it always is The art of being normal Zenobia July The pants project Keeping you a secret Ship it Marco impossible That’s all the ones I can remember now! Hope that helps
I took an online test and I’ve just found out I’m 80% bisexual which, now I know why I feel more comfortable dating girls. I was so happy! Thank you so much on the advice. I’m still single but I’m fine with that at the moment but whenever I do want to get out there, I would love some more of your advice.
I can vouch for the gayer neighborhoods of RUclips as a pretty solid way to meet LGBTQ people. I know people who've met their most bestest friends or significant others that way. It does tend to skew younger, in the high school/college age crowd but you do find the occasional over 30. (Some of whom are straight 👋😆) I deffo suggest getting involved in the associated Twitter communities. Lots of times people make group chats. If nothing else, being a hardcore fanperson can be very difficult and it's a lot to carry around by yourself. You gotta get u a squad to help ya out!
I've been hiding this sexuality, I'm bisexual and is in a relationship for 6 yrs with this girl since 2013. God knows how I wanted to end this relationship but I tend to stay because she keeps on threatening me that she'll commit suicide and blame me for doing that. #needhelp #desperate #depressed
Hey Ezra, that’s a really tough situation to be in! We’ll be doing a video very soon about toxic relationships and then how to get out of them, hopefully that will be helpful. Wishing you all the best!
I can relate to not getting a ton of matches on dating apps because I "look like a straight woman". I just like makeup and dressing up in cute clothes 😅
You’re from Italy? I’m happy for you that you don’t live here, it’s becoming worse and worse for us here because of the new fascist goverment. Hope i can leave soon
I don't really know how to define myself. I like either feminine men or masculine women. If I wanted a gf, Lilian would definitely be my type. I am not really into female sexual organs, but I can be infatuated by specific women at times. I am currently dating a non binary man. Is there anyone in a similar situation?
Late answer :,) I feel you in the way that I also really like feminine men, but I can't tell if I actually like them romantically & sexually or not. As for women I've only been with masculine women/non-binary afab people but I feel like I'm seriously super attracted to femme women because both of my biggest crushes ever were on them. Hope you've got it more figured out now :-)
I have always been with men, actually I have two kids, never really think that I could be attracted to a woman. However, I have always looked at women differently "ohh she is beutiful". Anyway 3 weeks ago I went to a party that that changed my life. I met a lesbian women(femme). She stepped in a room and my heart skipped, when we were in the same room it was electrical....fast forward we are here and madly in love with each other. So I guize I'm bi; I love her soo much, we are compatible. And you two have made this transaction sooo easy for me😭😭. Sex has been amazing by the way, thank you so much
Niamh Walker Me: Mam I am bi actually am a lesbian but I prefer gay And my mom is homophobic so she can not know I am gay so I have to lie Me: I am gay My friend: I am bi My friends bf:I am pan My mam: I know you’re a lesbian Me: Lying no I’m bi Me:Telling my gay bff 👯♀️ I am gay Her: kissing me and hugging me All my friends are 🏳️🌈 lgbtq+ so they support me I came out on Christmas Eve 2019 as bi to my mam So what should I do
Thank you for this video. I’ve been questioning my sexuality for quite some time. I’ve really only dated men and currently am dating one (who is lovely and amazing and supportive). I’ve lost a sense of physical connection with him as I’ve really immersed myself over the past year in exploring my past and understanding who I am. In the beginning of the video Alexis mentioned her experience dating men and then coming out. If you’re comfortable sharing your experience Alexis, I’d be so grateful for a video like that. ❤️ I think I am experiencing something similar.
Hi Alexis and Lilian! I so appreciate this video, it helps me so much! I've come out to myself and to other people in the last 3 weeks and it's a wild ride. Videos like this help so much! Love from Belgium !
Hey I’m new came out lesbian and i look like completely straight person. But I don’t wanna change how i dress or my haircut or my makeup style. I love myself and my identity to look like that. But i see some people judge me and look me weird and questioning me why i look like so feminine if i identify myself as a les. So should i change my appearance? But I don’t want it😔
“We’re turning into one person”😂😂😂🤣 soooo cute!
hahaha the best part
I watched that part so many times as it’s too cute! aww
I'm bi and I want a girlfriendddd
Same
Same
Same
Wassup
Laura S hi Laura can we be friends? If ur interested contact me in my what's app +639168501161
At 25 (now 26) I accepted my sexuality last year after years of ignoring it. so i am so thankful for this video. It answered so many questions i have about being a 'new' lesbian, so thank you so much!!
I’m right there with you. I’m finally starting to accept myself at 25
Imagining when you ignored your true sexual orientation for all your life... I realised 3 years ago I am 56!
I would highly recommend the movie "Carol". ❤️ It will leave you with a beautiful feeling, i promise
Ah yes that’s a good one!
Cats Blanchett, rooney mara and Sarah Paulson in one movie.... Just lesbian heaven😂
@@sarahrose7445 absolutely 💗💓
you guys make me so happy, i'm currently going through a rough time and everytime i'm watching your videos i'm fine for a little while
Maya Ella me too. I’m binging all the LGBTQ+ videos I can find on RUclips
Coming out of the cave and I’ve been doing just fine, gotta gotta be down because I want is all...
It started out with a kiss... How did it end up like this... 😆
Imagine me & you has been one of my all time favorite movies for years. It always makes me smile
Great video guys. 😊 I just acepted myself as a lesbian and my family and friends thankfully to it great.😊
Your smiles are so infectious and uplifting! :) keep doing what you do.
Also, comment by Alexis about not feeling ashamed if you don't get "jumped on". Hilarious!! 😆
My favourite book (German): "Den Mund voll ungesagter Dinge" by Anne Freytag
🎶 Coming out of my cave and I've been doing just fine 🎶
I love you two!
My lesbian Mothers bless you ❤️❤️
7:57. Obviously the masc/top should pay? I don't get why this is always a discussion? It's so damn obvious
Why are you so cute!!😭💛💛
Well, as bisexual man, I could say it's not easy to came out as bisexual, because it is seen as a "girl thing", or a "phase", while that not true.
I just came out bisexual 3 months ago, I feel relifed, and I got support from my wife, and my sister, but I did lost lot of people, who I though were my friends ... Anyway, we just survive ... It s a new start for me.
Congratulations on taking that big step, I’ve definitely heard so many times that people even think that bisexual men simply don’t actually exist 🙄 It’s ridiculous. But that’s an exciting new start with knowing who your true friends are and it sounds like you have an amazing supportive wife and sister! Some people may not know enough about it at first but they may come around. Thank you for sharing and sending love and good vibes ♥️ - Lilian
@@AlexisLilian Danke Schön :)
Good on you!! That’s not an easy thing to do!!
It’s always great to see bisexual men come out for me because I feel like they aren’t seen enough
may I ask how your wife reacted? when my brother came out he was given the opportunity to explore, but I imagine that's difficult when u have a wife...
I’m bi and I have my first date tmw that’s scaryyy😭 (date with a girl)
@just someone it did!!!!! I’m gonna go into detail 🧍🏾♀️ we went down fourth street (where it’s kinda like a pride street in Long Beach) and we went into vintage thrift stores and she bought us succulents and I bought her this candle she wanted :)) then we got funnel cakes at a lighthouse. But before all of it I got us pink drinks from Starbucks🙃
@@serenityyf.6967 👏👏👏👏
Serenityy F. 😭😭wild ...that’s dope 😛👏🏿👏🏿✨
@@serenityyf.6967 yay! omg 😂 that’s the dream haha
Hahaha me toooooo
i feel like most of the advice out there regarding lesbian/bi identities revolves around the lead up to coming out and how to come out. it's helpful and refreshing to also hear advice on the post-coming out process :) thank you !!!
Aw, glad to hear that! Thank you!
My closeted ass is listening to this in the bathroom so no one in my family sees or hears what im watching😅 anyway it was a great and helpful video💖 thank you for making it
Girl same 😭
I love how your videos really acknowledge bisexuality as well as lesbianism💖💖
Lesbian things I liked
Movies: Pariah, But I’m a Cheerleader, portrait of a lady on fire, the handmaiden, booksmart, how I felt when I saw the girl, the miseducation of Cameron post, yes or no
RUclipsrs: Jade fox, Ari fitz, anjali & Sufi
Tv shows: oitnb, euphoria, san junipero
Books: the miseducation of Cameron post, Stone butch blues
thank you so much!!
Thank you!❤
I’m Bi and I just got a girlfriend today!! It was so amazing!!
1:09 "UMmmm oh" 👀
XD
Loved that part hahahaha
I am bisexual....🤘🏻⚡️🎸....🏳️🌈💜🏳️🌈❤️🏳️🌈💙🏳️🌈
ZOEY FISHTAIL Me too
Same
Me too
I am also bisexual:]🙌🧋💕
Sex tip: communication! Sometimes when you're in a relationship with queer people, you may do bedroom stuff with someone who has a complicated relationship with their body. They may not even want to receive. This surprised me at first but I've come to realize that this is okay and not an indication that you are doing anything wrong. Different people have different boundaries.
Wish I had your confidence...
Im an arabic lesbian girl and I hate that.
I wish I was straight because I can't even talk with my mom about that (She would never accept it)
My friends are homophobic, and sometimes I say homophobic things just to prove that Im "straight".
I was in love with my bestfriend ( she moved out with her boyfriend)
My mom is waiting for me to get married with a man and have kids.
I can't even tell my bestfriend, she will never talk to me like before if I told her.
I hate my life
😔 I hope you can find your people
Update please habibti
First of all thank you for your tipps. I have a little question: I am a little introverted and not really used to going to events especially alone. I also have never had any really active social media accounts or a lot of chatting with others. So i am kind of not sure if i want that, but i know that i would be really nervous and a little bit afraid to try any of those out. Do you or anybody here have any tipps for me how to handle my situation? Greetings from Germany
Hi! I kinda get how you feel, I'm not an extrovert, not really chatty, I barely talk about my self in social media, maybe is shyness, but I got to a point in which I would like to meet people who has kind of the same interest romantically talking, but first I don't think I look such as a straight or queer woman and I live in a very conservative country where it's not easy to talk about this topic. I had the chance to date a college classmate a couple times, but it was kind of a miracle to find someone up to, or at least things looked like that to me. Now I'm kind of stuck, I would be happy to talk to more people who has experienced or is experiencing similar situations, not exactly in a date mood but it would be amazing to make new friends. Greetings from Paraguay!
Hey Valar, Lilian here: I am also an introvert and shy, and used to be so a lot more when I was younger. I felt that I just had to push myself sometimes to out myself out there and socialize, because thats always when the best things happened, out of my comfort zone. Queer youth groups often have events with activities etc., where it's not just you and a bunch of people forced to have small talk, so I always found that that helped! Because it eases you into it and makes it easier to open up and talk to people. And then once that's happened it gets easier after. Also, volunteering for LGBT organizations is a great way to meet people, and again, often you just need to make that first connection to meet lots of other people after that! I know it's scary, but you have nothing to lose and it will get easier with time. Apps are great for introverts as well though because talking online first and then being1-1 with someone is a bit less intimidating I find. Viel Glück and liebe Grüße 😊
Hi! I'm also introverted (*very*) but i have managed to be very sociable sometimes (ideally when my social batteries are charged lol). What has worked for me:
- search for advice online. most advice is bs, but some is actually useful for socially akward people like me (or us). i recommend charisma on command, and some ted talks. a guy named todd valentine is kinda too sexist for my taste, but i have found some of his techniques useful for opening up people who think they are too cool for you and that kind of things.
- focus on the other person. we get nervous because we worry they will not like us, or that we are boring. truth is, most often, people like to talk about themselves: just ask them about themselves. good questions though (interesting, new, about things that they are passionate about, perhaps even a little defiant).
- accept the unconfortable parts. there's a youtube psychologists (therapy in a nutshell) that explains this better than me, but the point is, anxiety/feeling bad doesn't actually do you harm, and fleeing it only reinforces the anxiety cycle. we just have to get better at feeling it. the thing is, you have to get *exposure*.
- pay attention when people make you feel good with their word, and emulate them. we all have met those people, you start talking to them and you just feel better, validated, seen, more adequate. we can do good to other people too.
- if you can, improve your self esteem. also big topic, a thousand ways to do it. for me it was a lot of stuff + the school of life + i started seeing the inmense value in skills that were often underapreciated coz sexism and racism and stuff, like being a good listener, making other's feel good, etc. + therapy. but when you realize you actually are a good catch, it helps.
truth is, as introverted, we can be great socially, because we are very attentive and sensible and usually think a lot and have interesting internal lives. but because we often aren't very motivated to be social, we don't have much experience. but when you try it, the rewards are amazing. hope that helps.
@@AlexisLilian Danke für das Antworten Lilian 🙂 i plan to try it out after i am finished with my Abitur. It really helps to hear that from you.
@@prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721 thank you for sharing that with me ❤️ i really appreciate it. From what your wrote you are a lot like me :) I like to watch the school of life too, they are really helpful and their philosophy is refreshing. But it is still hard sometimes to learn to relax and not sink back in your head and drown in your thoughts while you constantly reflect on what is happening or try to solve a problem that may not even be there. That can be sooo exhausting. For me it has gotten better and i expect it to even more 🙂 tipps like yours have helped incredibly. I also have learned a lot from podcasts of a woman called Kasia Urbaniak. Maybe you would like to check that out too.
I missed you guys so much 😭💕 I'm very confused about my sexuality :( and definitely scared af
Hey, Honey, don't worry, you are not alone, we all passed from this journey. We support you no matter what!
@@akirubamiru6700 thank you so much😭♥️🌹
Tbh, just give it time and if you feel comfy with trying around, do that. I often say "everyone always is looking forward to decorating a cake, but to do that, you have to make the pie first. So try and focus on your own life, bake that Amazing pie. The decoration will happen later😜". So take the time, no one is forcing you in any boxes❤️
saame. but you don´t have to know for sure rn. just go with it n trust it babee
Always love seeing people being so caring and helping each other in the comments ❤ Thanks for being such a great, supportive community!
you both are so stylish and beautiful! inside n out
Girls, thank you so much for this video! I’ve recently discovered my sexuality and it’s been amazing for me in some aspects, like finally being able to feel like myself. I really needed a video like this. If you can, please make a video one day of the family issue, because it’s my biggest fear. I’m Brazilian and I still live with my family, although I’m 22, and they really don’t accept that I’m lesbian. Again, thank you so much, I love your channel!
Yes that's definitely a big and scary step for many people. We'd love to do a video about it, possibly with a guest who can share what it's like to deal with a family that isn't accepting. Congratulations on discovering yourself, that's such a liberating feeling and you have so much to look forward to :) Wishing you all the best!
Alexis and Lilian Thank you so so much 🖤
I’m Pansexual and I have a girlfriend
I’m not out to my parents but I’m out to my best friend who is bisexual
My girlfriend kinda has most of the same style but I have short hair and am taller and she has long hair and is short
And we’re all kinda a group and I’m in her friend group now (I make friends easily)
We have kinda thought about things if we do go on a date (I would pay the first time and say that to her)
We kinda just go with it UwU
Im just kinda scared to come out to everyone because I live in a conservative family
Although I always think about when we are older,we could walk hand in hand and kiss without worrying about our parents
We said that we would figure this out and do this together ♡♡♡
meeting girls in the midwest suburbs is impossible :( but i'll get to travel the world with my future gf eventually
I came out to my husband last night and it was the worst thing i ever did. He was so sad and disappointed and upset. I swore i didnt do anything but he thinks it's only a matter of time before I cant control myself. I swore i never would. Im so embarrassed.
I am so sorry to hear that, what an awful reaction. I am so proud of you for coming out, know you will always have our support and that you are wonderfull and amazing, just the way you are❤️❤️ sending lots of love your way xxx
@@chocolatecurls94 i really appreciate you taking the time to be so kind. Thank you a million times. 💙
1:09 you guys are definetely becoming one person hahahaha
I just found you and really enjoyed your video. Do you have any advice for an older individual who is coming out. I’m 61 and never pursued this due to my upbringing and real fear because of it, etc. I’ve tried getting help from others but no response. I hope I can still do this even at my age
Me reading the title of this video, before I clicked on it. "Is there really a such thing as a rookie bi sexual"?
Me ten minutes in "Yes , there is , because I only came out a year ago.
A good movie representing 2 women falling in love is Portrait of a Lady on Fire. It's set in the 18th century though.
And the director is a lesbian in real life and her girlfriend is one of the actresses of the movie 😉
Highly recommend “portrait of a lady on fire”!!! So romantic and profound.
Other than those recommendations of tv shows, I would suggest Gentleman Jack and One Mississippi.
Yess Gentleman Jack!!!
"Apps are a really good way"
My mind: Well I could try but the gyms here are closed...
Oh wait she means apps, not abs
Lilian taking the ad out reminds me of "Kissing Jessica Stein" That was definitely a legit way to reach out in previous years! Of course in that movie she put an ad in the newspaper. Lol
Haha imagine! That would have been an even better story, to have put an ad in a newspaper 😆
great video but i’m so obsessed with alexis’ hair i could barely concentrate on what was going on 😭😭
My crush reveal her negative side but I still love her 😭😭😭
I’m 22 and came out to my family and friends as bi. Thankfully, they are all so supportive. These tips are so helpful, thank you both. ❤️
I came out as bi last year. What I didn’t expect was that it’s harder to get dates with both men and women now. I think that is easier to handle if you’re prepared. Still I want someone who loves me for me so I’m not going to hide who I am to get dates 🙂
i'm so in love with alexissssssssssssss, everytime i'm sad or just overwhelmed by social media i come here and it just takes me like four seconds to be suddenly laughing and smiling a lot from watching her... so glad i found your videos
Haha same!! It's mentally soothing to watch these video's, lot's of love!
Thank you so much! I currently really need this! Ps I feel like Lilian is being roasted by Alexis almost the entire video 😂🤣
I thought the same thing while editing! 😅 - L
Thank you for including bi girls ❤️
i'm still a baby gay but worried i'll stay in this phase forever because i have no game
Ya I know what you mean
I didn't want to come out to my parents, I was forced to because my mom is so nosy and I had been talking to my girlfriend every day and she heard me. She asked who I was talking to and I was so annoyed I just replied I'm talking to my girlfriend. Mom was kind of offended she didn't expect it I guess.
I think I need to hire you guys as my personal introduction to the Toronto Queer Scene ..... lol. You say exactly what I have been thinking about the past few weeks since I finally stopped ignoring what I kinda knew all my life. And it's been a long life... lol. I turned 50 last year but look and act (according to everybody around me) more like I turned 40! It's funny how being cooped up at home for 6 weeks, facing 'yourself' and not being able to be distracted by life outside your home works in strange ways. Not that I am thankful for this pandemic (good grief NO) but I think it made me realize that life can be short and we should enjoy the time we have. So. Taking your advise in this video (and the other videos I have watched from you) to heart, I feel a little more 'prepared' to go out there and find like-minded people once this 'situation' lifts and we can socialize again. Thanks guys! Giant hugs (virtual and social-distancing of course) and keep making these awesome videos!! Tschuessi!!!!
Ihr seht gut aus 🤗😊
Danke ☺
I literally just paused to watch that San Junerpiro episode and balled my eyes out for an hour thank you
Beautiful! Love from India ❤️🇮🇳
i might be kissing my girl tomorrow
Tiktok is also a great way to get an insight into a wlw community lol. Lots of lesbian/bi content on there
Have you seen "Tell It To The Bees" yet? Soothing and fantastic lesbian movie. I enjoyed it thoroughly. The kind of fiction that honoured the real life lesbian story.
Can you guys do a video on straight girls? Either how to get over one or how to manage a friendship with one when you have feelings for her?? Or what to do when a straight girl does frustrating things to you when she knows you’re gay like stroking your arm, putting her leg on yours, staring at you in a group etcccc. Need advice for a “friend” 😂
Lexathorn you have to set boundaries even with friends. If she puts her leg on yours move away. If she stares, don’t make eye contact. Some straight girls enjoy knowing you’re into them but they don’t really take you seriously. I hope that’s not the case with you. I hope she’s either genuinely interested or doesn’t realize what she’s doing. I dealt with a friend like that then when I kind of called it out, “omg. I thought we were just really good friends” 😒. Is it possible that she actually likes you? Maybe you can find out somehow?
Don’t daydream about her. Be really clear with yourself that she’s your friend. Try flirting with other people to find a new crush. Maybe take some time away from the friendship. I hope this helps. In my mind, I keep friendships and romance separate to avoid the confusion.
i came out today....ill give it time cause ofc I CANT BE SURE IN A FEW HOURS, but I thought I was bi, but I'm lesbian
im a bisexual girl who has never been in a relationship or ent on a date but ill have a date with a lesbian woman in a week and im nervousssssss
OHHH the book that i love is "The Price of Salt" (aka Carol movie) - really really nice, sweet, sad and good :)
Hey 💙 I recommend the movie "Go Fish" (1994). It's about a lesbian girl, looking for love. And about her friends and lesbian community. Scenes are natural and beautiful. like, I am in love with this movie :D 💙
I'm always confused wether i'm bi or pan, and lately, after dating man for over 5 years, i really want to wake this sleeping side inside me and try dating girls.
I'm interested 😉
Please, can make video about books and movies that can help us 💙💙
Some recommendations!
Novels: The Miseducation of Cameron Post, Get it Together, Delilah!, We Are Okay, Fat Angie
Graphic Novels: Blue is the Warmest Color, Honor Girl, Princess Princess (that one's on RUclips somewhere I think? author is Katie O'Neill)
Movies: But I'm a Cheerleader, The Miseducation of Cameron Post
the first couple of books I read when I first came out were The Miseducation of Cameron Post which is about a teenage girl growing up in the late 80's early 90's and is outed by her best friend/girl she's secretly hooking up with and as a result she gets sent to conversion camp (sounds really sad but is actually really uplifting and a really great read). the second one was called Lies We Tell Ourselves, I can't remember the exact dates but it's about two girls, one white one black, and their experiences together figuring out their sexuality in a time when black students were just introduced into traditionally white schools. Yet again sounds really sad but it is also really inspiring and really recommend.
I’ve seen lots of book recommendations so I’m going to list my favs. These are mostly directed to young teen/ teen and not all of them are lesbian books.
I wish you the best
The mighty heart of sunny
st. James
Ivy Ab
My life as a dimond
None of the above
One true way
Symptoms of being human
This is how it always is
The art of being normal
Zenobia July
The pants project
Keeping you a secret
Ship it
Marco impossible
That’s all the ones I can remember now! Hope that helps
I took an online test and I’ve just found out I’m 80% bisexual which, now I know why I feel more comfortable dating girls. I was so happy! Thank you so much on the advice. I’m still single but I’m fine with that at the moment but whenever I do want to get out there, I would love some more of your advice.
Alexis!! your hair is amazing I love it
I love when they just sync three times in a row
I absolutely adore your videos 💕
Also Alexis, what lipstick are you wearing?
I can vouch for the gayer neighborhoods of RUclips as a pretty solid way to meet LGBTQ people. I know people who've met their most bestest friends or significant others that way. It does tend to skew younger, in the high school/college age crowd but you do find the occasional over 30. (Some of whom are straight 👋😆) I deffo suggest getting involved in the associated Twitter communities. Lots of times people make group chats. If nothing else, being a hardcore fanperson can be very difficult and it's a lot to carry around by yourself. You gotta get u a squad to help ya out!
I've been hiding this sexuality, I'm bisexual and is in a relationship for 6 yrs with this girl since 2013. God knows how I wanted to end this relationship but I tend to stay because she keeps on threatening me that she'll commit suicide and blame me for doing that. #needhelp #desperate #depressed
Hey Ezra, that’s a really tough situation to be in! We’ll be doing a video very soon about toxic relationships and then how to get out of them, hopefully that will be helpful. Wishing you all the best!
@@AlexisLilian It would mean the world to me. Thank you guys much love ❤
I can relate to not getting a ton of matches on dating apps because I "look like a straight woman". I just like makeup and dressing up in cute clothes 😅
I feel so lost. Thank you for this video. :)
Looks that's me
And 🥲 my friend is hot
Mine too
Love all the way 🇰🇪🇰🇪
You’re from Italy? I’m happy for you that you don’t live here, it’s becoming worse and worse for us here because of the new fascist goverment. Hope i can leave soon
Best video I have come across. Thanks guys!
One of my fav movies is Saving Face
My first movie I watched was Called Better Than Chocolate. 💞
I don't really know how to define myself. I like either feminine men or masculine women. If I wanted a gf, Lilian would definitely be my type. I am not really into female sexual organs, but I can be infatuated by specific women at times. I am currently dating a non binary man. Is there anyone in a similar situation?
Late answer :,) I feel you in the way that I also really like feminine men, but I can't tell if I actually like them romantically & sexually or not. As for women I've only been with masculine women/non-binary afab people but I feel like I'm seriously super attracted to femme women because both of my biggest crushes ever were on them. Hope you've got it more figured out now :-)
I have always been with men, actually I have two kids, never really think that I could be attracted to a woman. However, I have always looked at women differently "ohh she is beutiful". Anyway 3 weeks ago I went to a party that that changed my life. I met a lesbian women(femme). She stepped in a room and my heart skipped, when we were in the same room it was electrical....fast forward we are here and madly in love with each other. So I guize I'm bi; I love her soo much, we are compatible. And you two have made this transaction sooo easy for me😭😭. Sex has been amazing by the way, thank you so much
Niamh Walker
Me: Mam I am bi
actually am a lesbian but I prefer gay
And my mom is homophobic so she can not know I am gay so I have to lie
Me: I am gay
My friend: I am bi
My friends bf:I am pan
My mam: I know you’re a lesbian
Me: Lying no I’m bi
Me:Telling my gay bff 👯♀️ I am gay
Her: kissing me and hugging me
All my friends are 🏳️🌈 lgbtq+ so they support me
I came out on Christmas Eve 2019 as bi to my mam
So what should I do
I’m a female too.
But I’m also as a lesbian.
But this video has helped me btw.
At my school they have a club for lgbtq+ members and I’m gonna join after corona
Hejjj cudies!! You both should run a platform where lesbians and bi's can meet eachother... :-)
I'm stuck. I am bisexual, but my husband doesn't help.
Oh I loved lost and delirious too!
Thanks ladies, this was very helpful. xxx
Ah!! I'm so early, I love you guys thank you for the tips
Thank you for this video. I’ve been questioning my sexuality for quite some time. I’ve really only dated men and currently am dating one (who is lovely and amazing and supportive). I’ve lost a sense of physical connection with him as I’ve really immersed myself over the past year in exploring my past and understanding who I am. In the beginning of the video Alexis mentioned her experience dating men and then coming out. If you’re comfortable sharing your experience Alexis, I’d be so grateful for a video like that. ❤️ I think I am experiencing something similar.
She talks about it in our video „how to find out if you’re gay/bi/straight“ - maybe that will be helpful 😊
Alexis and Lilian thanks for your response ❤️ I’ll check it out
Hi Alexis and Lilian! I so appreciate this video, it helps me so much! I've come out to myself and to other people in the last 3 weeks and it's a wild ride. Videos like this help so much! Love from Belgium !
Why is it wrong or unhealthy to obsess about a woman who may not love me back?
thank you for the film recommendations :)
This is really interesting for me as I'm beginning my first relationship with a girl, thank you guys ✨
You guys are sooo cute as a couple! #GOALS ^.^
Hey I’m new came out lesbian and i look like completely straight person. But I don’t wanna change how i dress or my haircut or my makeup style. I love myself and my identity to look like that. But i see some people judge me and look me weird and questioning me why i look like so feminine if i identify myself as a les. So should i change my appearance? But I don’t want it😔
Me too
I want to be out too. This is just so lucky
What an apt topic to make a vlog !!! Honest and straight from 💓 .... beautiful 😊