Would loooove to hear about some of your experiences around breastfeeding in the comments!! Was it what you expected it to be? Did you find it challenging/easy? What were some of the things you learned along the way? 🤍
I told myself I was happy with whatever breastfeeding time my body and child wanted. I never thought I'd care about using formula vs breastfeeding milk. I figured I'd go to 6 weeks, evaluate, if I wanted to keep going then go to 3 months, evaluate, etc. I had a vague list of 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months and 1 year as my timeline of potential goals. It never once occurred to me I might not even make the first goal. I never thought I'd cry when I saw other women breastfeeding their older babies or toddlers. I never thought I'd be one of the people who almost threw up at each let down from nausea. I didn't know breastfeeding nausea was even a thing. My breasts grew 2 full cups sizes while pregnant, and I thought that meant for sure I'd be a breastfeeding queen. I couldn't get a good feed happening, even once. We struggled to latch. My nipples are very flat and rarely get hard. I figured they'd do it when it was breastfeeding time though. They didn't. We struggled for 4 days in the hospital and finally got something happening with a nipple shield. He was taken away and fed every 4 hours with a bottle of formula for more than a day during that because he was becoming hypoglycemic from lack of food because we couldn't get the latch right. The lactation nurses were completely unhelpful. The serious pain I was in every time we tried resulted in me being told I just wouldn't be able to do it then if I couldn't take the pain. They also very clearly thought I was being a baby and it was barely hurting me. It wasn't. It was like being stabbed with a million needles over and over. Once we got home I fed around the clock, he'd barely get enough, and then I'd pump an extra 10 minutes. I tried teas, breast massage, lactation cookies, warm showers before feeding, intermittent pumping where I pumped for 5, rested 10 then pumped for 5, separately from the pumping after breastfeeding sessions. It was a nightmare. I finally got some decent feeds happening. I was so excited the first time we got more than 1 ounce in one sitting. There was a day I got almost 2 ounces. I was so happy. I thought we'd finally gotten through the issues. My milk completely dried up less than 24 hours later. He was 5 weeks old. He's 3 and completely fine. We did formula after that, but it took 6 types to find the right one. He has a dairy allergy. We had to use special formula that had the protein molecules in the milk already broken down because he couldn't digest it. In the process of finding the right formula we also found out he's very allergic to soy. There were so many days where I felt like a total failure because not only could I not feed him, I couldn't find the right formula either. It was a very hard start. I'm hoping kid 2 goes easier. And again, he turned out fine. But it was SO hard
I felt every emotion along with you while reading this 😭 thank you for sharing your story! It’s so hard when reality turns out to be so different from your expectations. I felt all of that too. But you did what was right for you and your babe in the end - and that’s certainly not failing. I’m curious to see how it goes with our second as well!
@@BethGraceMoore I was so nauseous the whole pregnancy, and thought that once he was born it would stop. And it kept going the entire time I was breastfeeding, and I was barely eating because I had an unplanned c section and was terrified of throwing up. He was barely sleeping. He was one of those babies that needed to be held to sleep more than 40 minutes, and that meant by the time I finally fell asleep he was waking up 10 minutes later. And the nurses in the hospital were so awful about telling me every other hour they didn't think I needed to keep trying to breastfeed because I couldn't- they kept telling me my milk was supposed to be there as soon as he was born and all I was making was the colostrum - and my ob on my week after surgery follow up said he didn't know why they did that because almost all of the first time moms he worked with didn't get their milk for 3-5 days after, but by then I was so overwhelmed and ashamed I didn't try to reach out to a lactation group or center that was outside of the hospital until my milk had dried up, and then I was told there was nothing I could do. I think I could have handled the personal disappointment if I hadn't felt so traumatized by the nurses in the hospital. I was on WIC too at the time and had to talk to several of their lactation people to qualify to keep getting benefits, and they were as bad as the hospital nurses about making me feel like clearly it wasn't working because I was doing things the wrong way. And to keep getting told that by multiple people who were supposed to be very knowledgeable about this, as their job, in 2 different settings that didn't overlap just crushed me. I didn't even realize until waay later that so much of the shame and fear sadness was because of those people and the questioning and manhandling of myself and my newborn, and the criticism disguised as professional help. I'm in a different state now, and I plan on seeking out a breastfeeding service I feel genuinely comfortable working with before we try getting pregnant again. I'm guessing the lack of sleep and eating not enough probably were significant factors too. And maybe my body will just figure out how to do things more efficiently on the second try? The first time around was unplanned and I was overwhelmed and trusted that the professionals I was seeing would take good care of me. I don't have a family history of women having breastfeeding problems. It wasn't a complicated pregnancy. I just assumed things would go smoothly after a few days of fumbling. The next pregnancy is planned and I plan on doing a lot of things differently. Setting myself up with breastfeeding help I know I'm comfortable with is one of those things. And now I've had time to see one child grow up very healthy and happy with no lasting bad side effects of doing mostly formula. It's easier to know something is true once you see the evidence in front of you. And the formula gave us a heads up about 2 of his food allergies. It didn't fully prepare us for what life after formula would look like, but he had unconventional symptoms from the food allergies and if I hadn't already known he had issues with those 2 foods, it would have taken us way longer to figure out the problem and get him into an allergist and on the right medication. And that was a serious game changer for all of us once he was on the right meds. And the allergy office we went to was really amazing, and got us into a really good place before we had to move. I still think about those guys and the difference they made. So making that connection in my brain helped my mom guilt a LOT. We maybe still wouldn't know why he was getting the symptoms he had if we'd successfully breastfed until he was old enough to do real food, like we originally thought we'd be doing. I really personally appreciated you talking about your journey and seeing the emotions you felt while you talked. It helps me every time another mother shares her story and makes the experience a personal one instead of feeling like I was the bad potato chip on the assembly line in the factory. And I love how every video of yours I've watched has that same feeling of care and compassion and love of life.
OMG this is exactly our story. Bottle at hospital, no latching, formula allergy…Incredible how hospitals refuse to suggest alternative solutions to moms who struggle - feeding from a syringe, a little cup, or a teaspoon, using tube attached to nipple to supplement while breastfeeding; there are so many ways (I found out about too late), but they just don’t care about getting you to breastfeed, and thus ruining your first months with the baby.
Two weeks postpartum and I’m not producing enough milk to feed my son, despite doing everything by the book (power pumping, lactation cookies, feeding every 2-3 hours, etc). I’m not done trying - I’m going to keep going for another month or two - but I needed to hear a story from someone with low supply. Thanks for this! Nice to know we’re not alone.
You NEED the my Brest friend nursing pillow. I’m currently exclusively breast feeding and it’s been a game changer! I found out about it when I went to see a lactation nurse in the beginning and never turned back. 💕
Thank you for sharing Beth! I’ve felt like this for a while now with my four month old.. it definitely encourages me to speak up and let my doctor know how I’m feeling about my breastfeeding journey/supply/let down issues. Like you, I couldn’t find people online that had the same problem as me.. soo glad you made this video 🤍
Omg I’m crying. So happy everything turned out well for you and your baby. I also had some issues with breastfeeding - 3 mastitis and it was very hard emotionally too. But several methods and consultations helped me out of this and I’m still feeding my son who is now 5.5 months old. So grateful he is fed and I’m not in pain anymore
I have had almost the exact journey and have finally decided to wean in to formula starting this week. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and taking the time to make this video. Your talk on mental health and happiness is my inspiration to keep with my plan. Literally in tears, thank you thank you.❤
Oh my goodness, Bethany! I feel like this is my story and I'm currently living through it! I also got my period back around three months PP and it affected my letdown where sometimes it could take up to 15-20 minutes and I can only feed my baby girl if she's sleeping in order for her and I not to both cry! I researched so so much and never found anyone else mentioning this. I also felt alone and that my body was failing her. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it will not only encourage me but so many others. You are such a great mama xx
Oh this is all so incredibly relatable! I was so thankful for your video. I just finished breastfeeding my 13, almost 14 month old, and I was so sad about it. But your story and vulnerability was so encouraging. Thank you for being so open.
Wow I so needed to hear this! I had a very slow letdown with my daughter and it was miserable. I was also pumping at work and I could barely get anything because my body just did not like it and I hated it! I’m expecting my 2nd and praying things will be different this time but this is good information to have!
I’m still breastfeeding my 9.5m old on demand (crazy to think she never ever took a bottle 🥵 how many ounces of milk has my body produced?) and it is tough. I also learned a lot through the process. My advice for mothers who want to breastfeed for long periods: the more time babies spend on the boob, the better. Also, it’s normal for your milk to not come in during those first post partum days. I love your content Beth ❤️
Just watched this, and it describes exactly what I am experiencing. Currently on my period and I notice my baby getting frustrated. I’m going through so much anxiety! I suspect my letdown is slow and have been doing exactly what you said - power pump, oatmeal, pictures, warm pads and so on. My doctor once mentioned this med, I will call him and discuss again.
I would look into getting some silverettes. They are these silver nipple cups and they saved my nipples and helped heal them between feedings. I had some really sore, cracked, bleeding nipples. They are not the cheapest things but totally worth it. I'm currently on my breastfeeding journey as a FTM. My anxiety is high just because we have a formula shortage in the US right now and it's scary. Congrats on baby #2 and good luck!!
Great video!! Completely agree that fed is best. We tried breast feeding for a week and it was a traumatic experience for both myself and my son. Our pediatrician said that feeding must be a joyful experience and it’s not only about the happiness of the baby but also the happiness of the family as a unit. So we asked our ped when is it time to call it and he said when it’s not fun anymore. He gave us the go ahead to switch to formula and gave me peace of mind that it had nothing to do with my capabilities as a mother. It was a huge relief and made the mom guilt disappear. It was the best choice for my mental health and my husbands mental health, because yes he was in it with me and he was there at every feed trying to help our baby latch. There’s a million reasons why breastfeeding doesn’t work for some people and that is OKAY!! It’s amazing if you can do it but it’s also amazing if you can still feed your baby in other ways. Being able to FEED your baby is the most important thing at the end of the day! I think it’s important for all moms to know this and stop with the mom guilt. You are doing your best and that’s all that matters.
Thank you for making this video! I'm expecting a baby girl in August so I am trying to do some research into breastfeeding. It seems a bit intimidating and scary, honestly. :/ I appreciated hearing about your experience and how you were able to find a solution to low supply. Praying for you to have a safe delivery of baby #2!!
Good on you for looking into it! 👏🏻 I think watching videos on breastfeeding positions and how to get a good latch were most helpful for me after I started. You have nothing to be scared about though!! It is really a beautiful experience at the end of the day and there are always solutions if you have challenges 💕
I gave birth to my little girl 6 months ago and I am still exclusively breastfeeding her. Before birth I talked with a lot of young moms and each mom told me the same thing. I was told "The first TWO weeks will be the worst pain ever. With each latch it will burn and you will want to cry and give up." Once I gave birth the doctor put her on my chest and right away she started searching for my breast. She latched on and didn't let go for a full 24 hours (only unlatched when I got up to pee). The pain was unbearable!! She was sucking so hard that I had a crack on half of the nipple. As the days continued the pain only worsen. I would cry ever time she would want to eat. The nipple shield was a life changer when I got the injury and would highly recommend! I told myself that if the pain continued after 2 weeks I would give up. After 2 weeks the pain disappeared and I actually enjoyed breastfeeding! When it came to supply I always feed on demand and my body adjusted with her needs. If she was eating more during a growth spurt I produced more milk when she ate less I made less. I no longer look at how much milk I make because the way I see it is "If she is gaining weight and in the right percentile for her age there is no need for extra stress." Best of luck to you!
Wow absolutely love your vulnerability on this topic. As a mom of a 4 month old baby girl and a pediatrician this was such a relevant and important topic to me. I teach patients how to breastfeed and I still had quite a learning curve with my baby! It’s definitely never what books or other moms experience. It’s such a personal experience between you and your baby and it can be really tough! Even if you “know” all the things. Definitely stand behind fed is best as a pediatrician but can totally echo your personal pressure of wanting to exclusively breastfeed as a new mama. Looking forward to hearing how baby #2 goes!
A lot of what I heard about breastfeeding was from RUclips moms so as soon as my daughter was born I started pumping every night to empty the breast. I found out after two weeks of this that I was creating an oversupply and the lactation specialist mentioned it’s best not to pump until your supply is established at around one month. It was a blessing in some ways though because just using the haaka to collect the letdown I was able to stock my freezer without having to pump!
Thank you for sharing! I had an oversupply as most nursing persons in the beginning do and thankfully with the help from others was encouraged to only hand express for relief. Pumping in the early days will surely make this problem worst as you noted. Also for those who may read the comments Colostrum is human milk and is more than enough for what babies need in the first days of life. Their little stomachs are about 15 ml (so less than the adult dose of cough medicine). So before your transitional and mature milk arrives, the colostrum milk is the perfect for their tiny bellies. Lastly, for anyone struggling with the return of your cycle, look into magnesium and calcium supplements. Supply dips just before and during your cycle are common and many babies tend to cluster feed during this time because they know how to actively tell your body to make more milk. The science behind breastfeeding is a beautiful thing - good latch, consistent feedings and watching for the hunger cues, supply and demand, and support/time from partners/families/jobs to not interfere with the process.
I know this video is older, but I’m commenting anyway in case my story is similar to anyone else’s!! I started exclusively breastfeeding and he latched well right away. However, around a week old he was latching wrong (with his bottom lip curled in) and I had a lot of nipple and breast pain. At the same time I noticed I wasn’t making as much milk anymore and like Beth was saying, he would cry and fuss every time he tried to eat. We ended up getting formula and my husband was very supportive of me, but I also had shame and guilt for not giving him breast milk and there were people around me who inadvertently made me feel bad for giving him a bottle. It just made me feel worse than I already did. Slowly I started noticing that I was still making less and less milk each day and he’d have to drink more formula. On the plus side, my boobs felt so much better and were able to heal, but I was so sad that I may not be able to breastfeed much longer. I started researching everything I could to make more milk. The only thing that worked for me was putting bad thoughts out of my mind and trying to breastfeed every single time he was hungry. If he cried and it ended up that he wasn’t getting enough to eat, we’d give him some formula and I would dry pump while he ate. Day by day I made more milk and he needed less formula. Some days were harder and those sucked because I thought it was going back to having too little milk, but I kept at it and now we breastfeed exclusively again for almost three weeks now. I think formula saved us, though it may not seem like it. If I hadn’t given my boobs a break from the pain, I might have stopped completely. But since they were able to heal, and we were able to practice latching, I was able to breastfeed eventually. It also helped relieve my worry that he wasn’t getting enough to eat (and less stress always helps).
Thank you very much for sharing your experience! It was very honest and brave of you. I can totally relate! The tips are very helpful and I’ve taken notes! God bless you.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience because I feel and experience the same thing as you! 😊😊there’s so much shame for formula feed but people don’t know the hard journey behind that decision.
Thank you so much for posting this! I have been having so much anxiety over breastfeeding, specially when I see other pregnant women are already leaking or collecting colostrum! Hopefully my milk comes in fine and my supply is good but if not then I know it's okay to use formula to make sure my baby is happy and healthy 😊
I hardly ever leaked in pregnancy but have fed 3 babies - currently feeding my 6 month old. All mums produce colostrum - it is thick, it is produced in incredibly small amounts (in some cases less than a drop, especially before birth) and comes in a variety of colours ranging from a very pale yellow to a deep orange. The amount is so small that most mums never even know its there until after bubs is born. The ability to express colostrum before baby is born means absolutely nothing. The amount you can or can't get has no impact on whether you have milk post birth and also has no impact on the ability to breastfeed - absolutely none! Also (for those playing along at home) the ability to get colostrum in later pregnancies means just as little.
I am so grateful to have breastfed my daughter until like 14 months, however I experienced so much pain in the beginning and a supply dip later on. It’s one of the hardest thing I ever did in so many ways but rewarding for however long you can make it. I LOVED the Snuggle me nursing pillow..way better than the boppy!
I would highly recommend a lactation consultant if you’re having issues, even if you’re not and it’s your first time! I’ve put it on my registry! They are invaluable at troubleshooting, they will come to your house with a scale, stay for a feeding, correct any latch issues and posture issues if you’re having back problems, will weigh the baby after the feeding to see if it really is supply, or if it’s their latch. They will recommend what to take for low supply and how to boost it, usually by on demand feeding.
Yes, totally agree! I worked with one the first time as well and they were actually the ones who helped me troubleshoot and eventually land on a prescription. I found it really helpful!
Really sorry to hear that these problems affected your mental health so much. We had a lot of issues with our baby's latch for weeks and could only solve them with a lactation consultant. But while it was very painful in the beginning, my nipples were healthy the whole time thanks to pure lanolin. It's completely safe to breastfeed with lanolin on, just make sure it has no additives.
I wish domperidone was legal in USA. I am so tired of triple feeding. I’m only in month 2, and i cant even make enough milk for baby during the day. I will never have a freezer stash.
Breastfeeding is so hard and challenging but I feel so good at the same time knowing I’m feeding my baby but oh man the every two hour pumps sessions had me in zombie mode I’m finally at a point 5 months in now and I pump every four hours and I’m an exclusive pumper.
I’d love to see a video about how you did transitioning to daycare!! I have an 8 month old who will be going to daycare soon and I’m so worried because he’s really attached to me and I don’t want to lose that 🥺
Maybe also because my pregnancy hormones I cried as soon as you did in the video. :'( It is my first baby so I couldn't say I understand this feeling but I could imagine! Thank you for this video to help me mentally prepare. I also want to breastfeed and I'm very type A so I hope I'm prepared for the frustration that will come along. I'm sure with this experience you will be more prepared to nursing your second baby. You've got this! Have you found out the gender yet?
Day one or two for milk to come in is really quick from what I understand, my milk didn’t come in until day 5 (but my son gained weight on colostrum only until then and never lost on his birth weight). He’s 13 months and I still breastfeed 1-3 times per day. I went back to work at 9 months postpartum and never had to supplement with formula as my son just started having loads of yogurt and cheese when I couldn’t breastfeed.
I breastfed until 12.5 months, but for me it was the weaning. I had 0 idea where to start & my little guy refused a bottle… the hormones were real when weaning and I had no idea that night sweats could come back or that I’d cry often or have acne.
Oh goodness, all the hormones!! I didn’t experience this this time around since I was already pregnant by the time I weaned, but I am already not looking forward to those symptoms on round #2
I like this video. I have the similar feeling that none of those eating oatmeal , skin to skin, demand and supply , etc actually helped. Maybe the lack of prolactin is the cause. I am planning to take domperidone. Because I don’t think the let down is good enough.
Such a good video! Out of curiosity, do you know if Vivienne sleeping through the night so early was a possible reason for both a decrease in supply through the "feedback inhibitor of lactation" (FIL) protein and also getting your period back early?
I think it has to be connected to some degree (basic supply and demand), but I don’t think it was the main cause, just because she started sleeping through the night months before I ever noticed the slow letdown! And my letdown never sped up again during cluster feeds or regressions when she did feed through the night, so I think the hormonal connection was the biggest factor!
Thank you for sharing this video with us. I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I want to breastfeed! I see that on your amazon lost you have the frida mom nipple butter. Do you still recommend that? And how do I get the other one you mentioned? Is it a prescription? Thank you!!! 🙏🏻💗
I'm a FTM who is currently breastfeeding. Not sure about the nipple cream she mentioned but look into getting some silverettes. They are silver nipple cups my lactation consultant gave to me and they saved my nipples! I wear them 24/7. They are a little pricey on Amazon ( don't get the knock off ones, get the real silver ones) but totally worth it, especially if you plan on nursing for a long time and having more kids.
It’s like you made this video for me! The only unfortunate part for me is that my fiancé has been a lot of pressure around exclusively breastfeeding and is a bit snobby whenever formula comes up ):
I’m so sorry - that’s so tough… trust your gut - ultimately you know what best for your mental health and your baby! At the end of the day you both want you and your baby to be healthy, and that’s something you can be on the same team with!
Instead of telling someone not to buy something, share your own experience, then the person will make their own decision to buy or not. Not everyone will have the same experience.
@@dearleah7299 They don’t have sufficient suction, they spill through the front if you lean over at all which defeats a lot of the purpose of them being hands free, their battery life dies faster than the time it takes them to charge for instance 🤗 I bought the almost $600 set of two and was more than disappointed. Just spent $100 on a new pump that works 10x better and I don’t mind being it not being hands free when it actually performs. My milk supply lowered dramatically while using the Elvie’s because I would get an ounce or maybe two at most during an entire pumping session with both on and with my new pump I could immediately get 6 ounces plus!
I had anxiety with breastfeeding as well, my baby latched well in the hospital and then would latch occasionally at home but become frustrated she either didn’t transfer well or my letdown was slow, or she possibly had an aversion since in the hospital they would poke her foot before every feed to check her blood sugar. Anyway because of my anxiety I chose to triple feed (breastfeed, pump and then bottle feed pumped milk) for every feeding for 3 months. I then went back to work and chose to exclusively pump. My supply was great I had a good freezer stash but I still mourned that bond of feeding directly at the breast I would try and fail randomly or daily until 6months. I continued to exclusively pump and made it to 8months on my milk alone. I started to supplement with donor breastmilk and it made me cry so much, I did not realize how much of an emotional journey this would be and thank you for sharing your story. I also became pregnant 7months postpartum and my supply slowly dipped and dipped until it was nothing my daughter is almost 1 and now completely transitioned to whole milk. It was an amazing journey and also heart aching. I completely understand all of your emotions. 🤍
Would loooove to hear about some of your experiences around breastfeeding in the comments!! Was it what you expected it to be? Did you find it challenging/easy? What were some of the things you learned along the way? 🤍
I told myself I was happy with whatever breastfeeding time my body and child wanted. I never thought I'd care about using formula vs breastfeeding milk. I figured I'd go to 6 weeks, evaluate, if I wanted to keep going then go to 3 months, evaluate, etc. I had a vague list of 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months and 1 year as my timeline of potential goals.
It never once occurred to me I might not even make the first goal. I never thought I'd cry when I saw other women breastfeeding their older babies or toddlers. I never thought I'd be one of the people who almost threw up at each let down from nausea. I didn't know breastfeeding nausea was even a thing. My breasts grew 2 full cups sizes while pregnant, and I thought that meant for sure I'd be a breastfeeding queen.
I couldn't get a good feed happening, even once. We struggled to latch. My nipples are very flat and rarely get hard. I figured they'd do it when it was breastfeeding time though. They didn't. We struggled for 4 days in the hospital and finally got something happening with a nipple shield. He was taken away and fed every 4 hours with a bottle of formula for more than a day during that because he was becoming hypoglycemic from lack of food because we couldn't get the latch right. The lactation nurses were completely unhelpful. The serious pain I was in every time we tried resulted in me being told I just wouldn't be able to do it then if I couldn't take the pain. They also very clearly thought I was being a baby and it was barely hurting me. It wasn't. It was like being stabbed with a million needles over and over.
Once we got home I fed around the clock, he'd barely get enough, and then I'd pump an extra 10 minutes. I tried teas, breast massage, lactation cookies, warm showers before feeding, intermittent pumping where I pumped for 5, rested 10 then pumped for 5, separately from the pumping after breastfeeding sessions. It was a nightmare.
I finally got some decent feeds happening. I was so excited the first time we got more than 1 ounce in one sitting. There was a day I got almost 2 ounces. I was so happy. I thought we'd finally gotten through the issues. My milk completely dried up less than 24 hours later. He was 5 weeks old.
He's 3 and completely fine. We did formula after that, but it took 6 types to find the right one. He has a dairy allergy. We had to use special formula that had the protein molecules in the milk already broken down because he couldn't digest it. In the process of finding the right formula we also found out he's very allergic to soy. There were so many days where I felt like a total failure because not only could I not feed him, I couldn't find the right formula either. It was a very hard start. I'm hoping kid 2 goes easier. And again, he turned out fine. But it was SO hard
I felt every emotion along with you while reading this 😭 thank you for sharing your story! It’s so hard when reality turns out to be so different from your expectations. I felt all of that too. But you did what was right for you and your babe in the end - and that’s certainly not failing. I’m curious to see how it goes with our second as well!
@@BethGraceMoore I was so nauseous the whole pregnancy, and thought that once he was born it would stop. And it kept going the entire time I was breastfeeding, and I was barely eating because I had an unplanned c section and was terrified of throwing up. He was barely sleeping. He was one of those babies that needed to be held to sleep more than 40 minutes, and that meant by the time I finally fell asleep he was waking up 10 minutes later. And the nurses in the hospital were so awful about telling me every other hour they didn't think I needed to keep trying to breastfeed because I couldn't- they kept telling me my milk was supposed to be there as soon as he was born and all I was making was the colostrum - and my ob on my week after surgery follow up said he didn't know why they did that because almost all of the first time moms he worked with didn't get their milk for 3-5 days after, but by then I was so overwhelmed and ashamed I didn't try to reach out to a lactation group or center that was outside of the hospital until my milk had dried up, and then I was told there was nothing I could do.
I think I could have handled the personal disappointment if I hadn't felt so traumatized by the nurses in the hospital. I was on WIC too at the time and had to talk to several of their lactation people to qualify to keep getting benefits, and they were as bad as the hospital nurses about making me feel like clearly it wasn't working because I was doing things the wrong way. And to keep getting told that by multiple people who were supposed to be very knowledgeable about this, as their job, in 2 different settings that didn't overlap just crushed me.
I didn't even realize until waay later that so much of the shame and fear sadness was because of those people and the questioning and manhandling of myself and my newborn, and the criticism disguised as professional help. I'm in a different state now, and I plan on seeking out a breastfeeding service I feel genuinely comfortable working with before we try getting pregnant again. I'm guessing the lack of sleep and eating not enough probably were significant factors too. And maybe my body will just figure out how to do things more efficiently on the second try? The first time around was unplanned and I was overwhelmed and trusted that the professionals I was seeing would take good care of me. I don't have a family history of women having breastfeeding problems. It wasn't a complicated pregnancy. I just assumed things would go smoothly after a few days of fumbling.
The next pregnancy is planned and I plan on doing a lot of things differently. Setting myself up with breastfeeding help I know I'm comfortable with is one of those things. And now I've had time to see one child grow up very healthy and happy with no lasting bad side effects of doing mostly formula. It's easier to know something is true once you see the evidence in front of you. And the formula gave us a heads up about 2 of his food allergies. It didn't fully prepare us for what life after formula would look like, but he had unconventional symptoms from the food allergies and if I hadn't already known he had issues with those 2 foods, it would have taken us way longer to figure out the problem and get him into an allergist and on the right medication. And that was a serious game changer for all of us once he was on the right meds. And the allergy office we went to was really amazing, and got us into a really good place before we had to move. I still think about those guys and the difference they made. So making that connection in my brain helped my mom guilt a LOT. We maybe still wouldn't know why he was getting the symptoms he had if we'd successfully breastfed until he was old enough to do real food, like we originally thought we'd be doing.
I really personally appreciated you talking about your journey and seeing the emotions you felt while you talked. It helps me every time another mother shares her story and makes the experience a personal one instead of feeling like I was the bad potato chip on the assembly line in the factory. And I love how every video of yours I've watched has that same feeling of care and compassion and love of life.
OMG this is exactly our story. Bottle at hospital, no latching, formula allergy…Incredible how hospitals refuse to suggest alternative solutions to moms who struggle - feeding from a syringe, a little cup, or a teaspoon, using tube attached to nipple to supplement while breastfeeding; there are so many ways (I found out about too late), but they just don’t care about getting you to breastfeed, and thus ruining your first months with the baby.
Two weeks postpartum and I’m not producing enough milk to feed my son, despite doing everything by the book (power pumping, lactation cookies, feeding every 2-3 hours, etc). I’m not done trying - I’m going to keep going for another month or two - but I needed to hear a story from someone with low supply. Thanks for this! Nice to know we’re not alone.
Hey I am going through the same thing
Same. Did you have any luck?
You NEED the my Brest friend nursing pillow. I’m currently exclusively breast feeding and it’s been a game changer! I found out about it when I went to see a lactation nurse in the beginning and never turned back. 💕
Thank you for sharing Beth! I’ve felt like this for a while now with my four month old.. it definitely encourages me to speak up and let my doctor know how I’m feeling about my breastfeeding journey/supply/let down issues. Like you, I couldn’t find people online that had the same problem as me.. soo glad you made this video 🤍
Omg I’m crying. So happy everything turned out well for you and your baby. I also had some issues with breastfeeding - 3 mastitis and it was very hard emotionally too. But several methods and consultations helped me out of this and I’m still feeding my son who is now 5.5 months old. So grateful he is fed and I’m not in pain anymore
I have had almost the exact journey and have finally decided to wean in to formula starting this week. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and taking the time to make this video. Your talk on mental health and happiness is my inspiration to keep with my plan. Literally in tears, thank you thank you.❤
Oh my goodness, Bethany! I feel like this is my story and I'm currently living through it! I also got my period back around three months PP and it affected my letdown where sometimes it could take up to 15-20 minutes and I can only feed my baby girl if she's sleeping in order for her and I not to both cry! I researched so so much and never found anyone else mentioning this. I also felt alone and that my body was failing her. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it will not only encourage me but so many others. You are such a great mama xx
I was tearing up right along with you thinking of my own experience breastfeeding. What a whirlwind! You passed on some great advice.
Oh this is all so incredibly relatable! I was so thankful for your video. I just finished breastfeeding my 13, almost 14 month old, and I was so sad about it. But your story and vulnerability was so encouraging. Thank you for being so open.
So glad you enjoyed it ❤️ it really is such an emotional rollercoaster… 14 months is an incredible accomplishment!!
Wow I so needed to hear this! I had a very slow letdown with my daughter and it was miserable. I was also pumping at work and I could barely get anything because my body just did not like it and I hated it! I’m expecting my 2nd and praying things will be different this time but this is good information to have!
I’m still breastfeeding my 9.5m old on demand (crazy to think she never ever took a bottle 🥵 how many ounces of milk has my body produced?) and it is tough. I also learned a lot through the process. My advice for mothers who want to breastfeed for long periods: the more time babies spend on the boob, the better. Also, it’s normal for your milk to not come in during those first post partum days.
I love your content Beth ❤️
3 weeks postpartum and so glad I watched this. My only wish is I had found you sooner!
Just watched this, and it describes exactly what I am experiencing. Currently on my period and I notice my baby getting frustrated. I’m going through so much anxiety! I suspect my letdown is slow and have been doing exactly what you said - power pump, oatmeal, pictures, warm pads and so on. My doctor once mentioned this med, I will call him and discuss again.
I would look into getting some silverettes. They are these silver nipple cups and they saved my nipples and helped heal them between feedings. I had some really sore, cracked, bleeding nipples. They are not the cheapest things but totally worth it. I'm currently on my breastfeeding journey as a FTM. My anxiety is high just because we have a formula shortage in the US right now and it's scary. Congrats on baby #2 and good luck!!
Great video!! Completely agree that fed is best. We tried breast feeding for a week and it was a traumatic experience for both myself and my son. Our pediatrician said that feeding must be a joyful experience and it’s not only about the happiness of the baby but also the happiness of the family as a unit. So we asked our ped when is it time to call it and he said when it’s not fun anymore. He gave us the go ahead to switch to formula and gave me peace of mind that it had nothing to do with my capabilities as a mother. It was a huge relief and made the mom guilt disappear. It was the best choice for my mental health and my husbands mental health, because yes he was in it with me and he was there at every feed trying to help our baby latch. There’s a million reasons why breastfeeding doesn’t work for some people and that is OKAY!! It’s amazing if you can do it but it’s also amazing if you can still feed your baby in other ways. Being able to FEED your baby is the most important thing at the end of the day! I think it’s important for all moms to know this and stop with the mom guilt. You are doing your best and that’s all that matters.
It’s a good thing you were able to afford formula
Thank you for making this video! I'm expecting a baby girl in August so I am trying to do some research into breastfeeding. It seems a bit intimidating and scary, honestly. :/ I appreciated hearing about your experience and how you were able to find a solution to low supply. Praying for you to have a safe delivery of baby #2!!
Good on you for looking into it! 👏🏻 I think watching videos on breastfeeding positions and how to get a good latch were most helpful for me after I started. You have nothing to be scared about though!! It is really a beautiful experience at the end of the day and there are always solutions if you have challenges 💕
I gave birth to my little girl 6 months ago and I am still exclusively breastfeeding her. Before birth I talked with a lot of young moms and each mom told me the same thing. I was told "The first TWO weeks will be the worst pain ever. With each latch it will burn and you will want to cry and give up." Once I gave birth the doctor put her on my chest and right away she started searching for my breast. She latched on and didn't let go for a full 24 hours (only unlatched when I got up to pee). The pain was unbearable!! She was sucking so hard that I had a crack on half of the nipple. As the days continued the pain only worsen. I would cry ever time she would want to eat. The nipple shield was a life changer when I got the injury and would highly recommend! I told myself that if the pain continued after 2 weeks I would give up. After 2 weeks the pain disappeared and I actually enjoyed breastfeeding! When it came to supply I always feed on demand and my body adjusted with her needs. If she was eating more during a growth spurt I produced more milk when she ate less I made less. I no longer look at how much milk I make because the way I see it is "If she is gaining weight and in the right percentile for her age there is no need for extra stress." Best of luck to you!
Wow absolutely love your vulnerability on this topic. As a mom of a 4 month old baby girl and a pediatrician this was such a relevant and important topic to me. I teach patients how to breastfeed and I still had quite a learning curve with my baby! It’s definitely never what books or other moms experience. It’s such a personal experience between you and your baby and it can be really tough! Even if you “know” all the things. Definitely stand behind fed is best as a pediatrician but can totally echo your personal pressure of wanting to exclusively breastfeed as a new mama. Looking forward to hearing how baby #2 goes!
A lot of what I heard about breastfeeding was from RUclips moms so as soon as my daughter was born I started pumping every night to empty the breast. I found out after two weeks of this that I was creating an oversupply and the lactation specialist mentioned it’s best not to pump until your supply is established at around one month. It was a blessing in some ways though because just using the haaka to collect the letdown I was able to stock my freezer without having to pump!
Yessss this is great! This is exactly what I want to do on round 2!
Thank you for sharing! I had an oversupply as most nursing persons in the beginning do and thankfully with the help from others was encouraged to only hand express for relief. Pumping in the early days will surely make this problem worst as you noted. Also for those who may read the comments Colostrum is human milk and is more than enough for what babies need in the first days of life. Their little stomachs are about 15 ml (so less than the adult dose of cough medicine). So before your transitional and mature milk arrives, the colostrum milk is the perfect for their tiny bellies. Lastly, for anyone struggling with the return of your cycle, look into magnesium and calcium supplements. Supply dips just before and during your cycle are common and many babies tend to cluster feed during this time because they know how to actively tell your body to make more milk.
The science behind breastfeeding is a beautiful thing - good latch, consistent feedings and watching for the hunger cues, supply and demand, and support/time from partners/families/jobs to not interfere with the process.
I know this video is older, but I’m commenting anyway in case my story is similar to anyone else’s!!
I started exclusively breastfeeding and he latched well right away. However, around a week old he was latching wrong (with his bottom lip curled in) and I had a lot of nipple and breast pain. At the same time I noticed I wasn’t making as much milk anymore and like Beth was saying, he would cry and fuss every time he tried to eat.
We ended up getting formula and my husband was very supportive of me, but I also had shame and guilt for not giving him breast milk and there were people around me who inadvertently made me feel bad for giving him a bottle. It just made me feel worse than I already did. Slowly I started noticing that I was still making less and less milk each day and he’d have to drink more formula.
On the plus side, my boobs felt so much better and were able to heal, but I was so sad that I may not be able to breastfeed much longer. I started researching everything I could to make more milk. The only thing that worked for me was putting bad thoughts out of my mind and trying to breastfeed every single time he was hungry. If he cried and it ended up that he wasn’t getting enough to eat, we’d give him some formula and I would dry pump while he ate.
Day by day I made more milk and he needed less formula.
Some days were harder and those sucked because I thought it was going back to having too little milk, but I kept at it and now we breastfeed exclusively again for almost three weeks now.
I think formula saved us, though it may not seem like it. If I hadn’t given my boobs a break from the pain, I might have stopped completely. But since they were able to heal, and we were able to practice latching, I was able to breastfeed eventually. It also helped relieve my worry that he wasn’t getting enough to eat (and less stress always helps).
Thank you very much for sharing your experience! It was very honest and brave of you. I can totally relate! The tips are very helpful and I’ve taken notes! God bless you.
You're basically explaining what i'm kinda experiencing with my 2 and a half month baby girl
Thank you so much for sharing your experience because I feel and experience the same thing as you! 😊😊there’s so much shame for formula feed but people don’t know the hard journey behind that decision.
Thank you so much for posting this! I have been having so much anxiety over breastfeeding, specially when I see other pregnant women are already leaking or collecting colostrum! Hopefully my milk comes in fine and my supply is good but if not then I know it's okay to use formula to make sure my baby is happy and healthy 😊
I hardly ever leaked in pregnancy but have fed 3 babies - currently feeding my 6 month old. All mums produce colostrum - it is thick, it is produced in incredibly small amounts (in some cases less than a drop, especially before birth) and comes in a variety of colours ranging from a very pale yellow to a deep orange. The amount is so small that most mums never even know its there until after bubs is born. The ability to express colostrum before baby is born means absolutely nothing. The amount you can or can't get has no impact on whether you have milk post birth and also has no impact on the ability to breastfeed - absolutely none! Also (for those playing along at home) the ability to get colostrum in later pregnancies means just as little.
I am so grateful to have breastfed my daughter until like 14 months, however I experienced so much pain in the beginning and a supply dip later on. It’s one of the hardest thing I ever did in so many ways but rewarding for however long you can make it. I LOVED the Snuggle me nursing pillow..way better than the boppy!
You like the snuggle me? I was thinking about getting it because the boppy is awful. I was trying to decide between that one and the one from Beaba.
@@thesagetraveler7649 personally, I liked the snuggle me pillow a lot!!
I would highly recommend a lactation consultant if you’re having issues, even if you’re not and it’s your first time! I’ve put it on my registry! They are invaluable at troubleshooting, they will come to your house with a scale, stay for a feeding, correct any latch issues and posture issues if you’re having back problems, will weigh the baby after the feeding to see if it really is supply, or if it’s their latch. They will recommend what to take for low supply and how to boost it, usually by on demand feeding.
Yes, totally agree! I worked with one the first time as well and they were actually the ones who helped me troubleshoot and eventually land on a prescription. I found it really helpful!
Really sorry to hear that these problems affected your mental health so much.
We had a lot of issues with our baby's latch for weeks and could only solve them with a lactation consultant.
But while it was very painful in the beginning, my nipples were healthy the whole time thanks to pure lanolin. It's completely safe to breastfeed with lanolin on, just make sure it has no additives.
Thank you so much for sharing this 🥰
I wish domperidone was legal in USA. I am so tired of triple feeding. I’m only in month 2, and i cant even make enough milk for baby during the day. I will never have a freezer stash.
Breastfeeding is so hard and challenging but I feel so good at the same time knowing I’m feeding my baby but oh man the every two hour pumps sessions had me in zombie mode I’m finally at a point 5 months in now and I pump every four hours and I’m an exclusive pumper.
I think it’s awesome that you’ve found a solution that works well for baby AND you! 👏🏻
I’d love to see a video about how you did transitioning to daycare!! I have an 8 month old who will be going to daycare soon and I’m so worried because he’s really attached to me and I don’t want to lose that 🥺
Maybe also because my pregnancy hormones I cried as soon as you did in the video. :'( It is my first baby so I couldn't say I understand this feeling but I could imagine! Thank you for this video to help me mentally prepare. I also want to breastfeed and I'm very type A so I hope I'm prepared for the frustration that will come along. I'm sure with this experience you will be more prepared to nursing your second baby. You've got this! Have you found out the gender yet?
Day one or two for milk to come in is really quick from what I understand, my milk didn’t come in until day 5 (but my son gained weight on colostrum only until then and never lost on his birth weight). He’s 13 months and I still breastfeed 1-3 times per day. I went back to work at 9 months postpartum and never had to supplement with formula as my son just started having loads of yogurt and cheese when I couldn’t breastfeed.
You go mama!!! 👏🏻
I breastfed until 12.5 months, but for me it was the weaning. I had 0 idea where to start & my little guy refused a bottle… the hormones were real when weaning and I had no idea that night sweats could come back or that I’d cry often or have acne.
Oh goodness, all the hormones!! I didn’t experience this this time around since I was already pregnant by the time I weaned, but I am already not looking forward to those symptoms on round #2
How did they determine you needed that medicine? Did they test your prolactin levels?
Where do you get the jack newmans nipple ointment?
I like this video. I have the similar feeling that none of those eating oatmeal , skin to skin, demand and supply , etc actually helped. Maybe the lack of prolactin is the cause. I am planning to take domperidone. Because I don’t think the let down is good enough.
Such a good video! Out of curiosity, do you know if Vivienne sleeping through the night so early was a possible reason for both a decrease in supply through the "feedback inhibitor of lactation" (FIL) protein and also getting your period back early?
I think it has to be connected to some degree (basic supply and demand), but I don’t think it was the main cause, just because she started sleeping through the night months before I ever noticed the slow letdown! And my letdown never sped up again during cluster feeds or regressions when she did feed through the night, so I think the hormonal connection was the biggest factor!
@@BethGraceMoore That makes sense!
My midwife prescribed those meds, she gave me a couple months supply of the meds
Do you live in the US? Your Dr was able to prescribe it to you? I just started looking into this medication, but i don't think i can get it in the US.
I live in Canada!
my milk didn't come in for a week and i was sooo anxious :(
Thank you for sharing this video with us. I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I want to breastfeed! I see that on your amazon lost you have the frida mom nipple butter. Do you still recommend that? And how do I get the other one you mentioned? Is it a prescription?
Thank you!!! 🙏🏻💗
I'm a FTM who is currently breastfeeding. Not sure about the nipple cream she mentioned but look into getting some silverettes. They are silver nipple cups my lactation consultant gave to me and they saved my nipples! I wear them 24/7. They are a little pricey on Amazon ( don't get the knock off ones, get the real silver ones) but totally worth it, especially if you plan on nursing for a long time and having more kids.
What formula did you decide on?
It’s like you made this video for me! The only unfortunate part for me is that my fiancé has been a lot of pressure around exclusively breastfeeding and is a bit snobby whenever formula comes up ):
I’m so sorry - that’s so tough… trust your gut - ultimately you know what best for your mental health and your baby! At the end of the day you both want you and your baby to be healthy, and that’s something you can be on the same team with!
DON’T buy the Elvie pumps. Only mandatory breastfeeding tip that comes to mind 🤗
Instead of telling someone not to buy something, share your own experience, then the person will make their own decision to buy or not. Not everyone will have the same experience.
@@dearleah7299 They don’t have sufficient suction, they spill through the front if you lean over at all which defeats a lot of the purpose of them being hands free, their battery life dies faster than the time it takes them to charge for instance 🤗 I bought the almost $600 set of two and was more than disappointed. Just spent $100 on a new pump that works 10x better and I don’t mind being it not being hands free when it actually performs. My milk supply lowered dramatically while using the Elvie’s because I would get an ounce or maybe two at most during an entire pumping session with both on and with my new pump I could immediately get 6 ounces plus!
I love my elvie. I just don't bend all the way over whilst pumping
I love my Elvie pumps too! I only ever pump when my baby takes a bottle, and they have been great for that purpose. 😊
Has my comment been deleted or it just hasnt posted ? If it did got deleted, did i say something wrong ? 🥺
Not deleted by me! Might just have been flagged by RUclips for certain keywords?!
I had anxiety with breastfeeding as well, my baby latched well in the hospital and then would latch occasionally at home but become frustrated she either didn’t transfer well or my letdown was slow, or she possibly had an aversion since in the hospital they would poke her foot before every feed to check her blood sugar. Anyway because of my anxiety I chose to triple feed (breastfeed, pump and then bottle feed pumped milk) for every feeding for 3 months. I then went back to work and chose to exclusively pump. My supply was great I had a good freezer stash but I still mourned that bond of feeding directly at the breast I would try and fail randomly or daily until 6months. I continued to exclusively pump and made it to 8months on my milk alone. I started to supplement with donor breastmilk and it made me cry so much, I did not realize how much of an emotional journey this would be and thank you for sharing your story. I also became pregnant 7months postpartum and my supply slowly dipped and dipped until it was nothing my daughter is almost 1 and now completely transitioned to whole milk. It was an amazing journey and also heart aching. I completely understand all of your emotions. 🤍