That’s what I thought. There’s a lot more context here, but the actual act of the child calling the father’s friend dad might not be that deep. Several of my young cousins went through that faze of calling every grownup mum/dad or even calling them mum/dad followed by their name. They thought that it was just a description for all grownups or, if the adults had kids of their own, they assumed that calling someone dad and mum is what you call someone who is a parent in general. Obviously everyone would correct them, but I never saw anyone viewing it as disrespectful, cause the kids simply didn’t know any better.
@@Thespinadel yah it really is just what kids do. My girl does it at daycare and it's like yah she's talking! She's saying "person person!!! Pay attention!"
It's not about the kid calling the friend dad. It's about the dad letting it happen. As they said in the podcast, it's an easy correction to make. Letting it happen signifies the issues in his relationship with his wife and how he views the friend.
When my brother described his "ideal girl" he started listing traits I recognized our mom had. I told him, "You do know you just described Mom, right?" His face went 😨and he all but yelled in disgust, "Oh my GOD!" He ended up marrying a girl who was nothing like our mother. 😂 But, he's very happy with her though.
A man’s first love of a woman is generally their mother. So when they think about a woman they can love, they think about the woman they loved the most/longest. Weather consciously or not
"A lot of men end up with women who look like their moms" Me: *slowly turns my Caucasian self to look at my husband* Hubby: *Slowly turns his Korean self to look at me* Hubby: "Sorry you had to find out this way." 😂
I feel the same way every time this is said as if it’s a fact. Like what about all the interracial relationships 😅. My husband is white and I’m a pretty decently tan Latina. We both couldn’t look any more different from each others parents. 🤣
@@NessaNesser RIGHT im gay and im like.... uhhhh my parents both look extremely hetero and plain, and im attracted to women who are GNC or at least alternative :')
@@NessaNesserit’s obviously not a hard and fast rule lol but it’s more likely than unlikely. your relationship with your parents is the first u have and the rest are based on that first one.
@sophiaec2607 same tho.....I'm gay and my girlfriend looks absolutely NOTHING like my mom. And I look nothing like her mom lol. She's more of the male side and I am very girly girl.
I’m only on story #2 so far…I can tell SO easily who the guy is in each scenario, without thinking the blanks just fill themselves in. Men have a different kind of audacity LMAO
I've heard so many reddit stories with the husband just deciding to make a big life change assuming the wife's assets can be liquidated because it is for US BABE despite not really having her opinion on it.
From the first story. I’m Latina. I had a boyfriend that was white and he called me mommy and I thought it was the weirdest thing and I asked him to stop. Then when I had a Latino boyfriend he called me mami or mamacita and I was fine with it. I loved it. Idk if it’s because we are from the same culture or because mommy is just weird
Yeah. I think Mommy is weird because culturally children call their mothers mommy whereas in my experience I grew up calling my mom ama and she called me mama. Mami was a very reggaeton word that was used to sexualize people.
i want kid and i want a mariage, my partner dont want any of that but i love him so much and its been 5 year of relation. i think about it everyday and i know you all say its a waste a time but he is ny person atleast now … it just feel so overwhelmed to think about it dont know what to do
@@vicgauthier2707will you regret it when one day you can no longer get pregnant ? Do you see this person sticking by your side for life? Your desire for children is more important than sticking by someone who doesn’t want the same. You’re truly wasting time and I hope that you don’t wait forever or regret it if you choose to settle
@@vicgauthier2707 If you want someone who wants those things, there is someone. Do you want to look at him as a reminder of all the things you wanted. You can’t force someone to want those things. I can kind of relate because I don’t want children myself. I had another ex who did and he tried to convince to a point where I had to end it. I was madly in love with him but we wanted 2 different things. Just because you break up doesn’t mean the love isn’t there. I thought I could never love someone again but there is someone out there. I was afraid to be alone and single. Eventually you’ll meet someone who want those things. Sorry for the long thing. I wish you the best luck and hopefully you get everything you want in life
Let me preface this by saying I love you all equally. I just wanna show some love to Lauren. Lately she's been my favorite with her takes because she's so upfront and blunt lately. I can tell she's putting herself out of her comfort zone to give the honest thoughts on her mind. I don't even always agree with her takes. You can just tell she's really engaged and open where in the beginning, she was more reserved. 💜
There’s a story that came out about this man who got sexually abused from his mom since he was 8 or something and he grew up thinking it was normal until he met his girlfriend and he learned how bad it was because his thought process on it was “but my mom needs this from me” he went into therapy and got a restraining order.
for story #1, my concern would actually not be that my partner wanted to fuck his mom, but rather he wanted ME to become the mother figure in his life. so many men are actually looking for mommies to take care of them, cook for them, clean for them, and not full-fledged partners to go through life with. by picking a woman who reminded him of his mom not just physically but also in terms of personality, i worry that he's just looking to be a little boy again.
This. Every time a younger dude pursued me I had those alarm bells about him wanting a substitute mom. (Or a sugar mama.) Women are expected to do so much domestic and emotional labor even in relationship without this weird... mommy dynamic.
As a nonbinary person who has meet and befriended other gnc and trans people. Personally don't care what pronoun I go by, but most trans and gnc people usually are okay if you use the wrong pronouns as long as you correct your mistake. Don't beat yourself up as long as make an effort to correct the mistake which I've seen you all are
THIS I feel this way. It’s the active thinking more than the actual upfront words. Intention over mistakes. My parents for a while did seem to take my transition strong enough as I was still very similar to how I looked before I came out. I just want them to try and it bothers me when someone I care about doesn’t try. My bff has managed to switch over for a while bc he respects me so much. He even makes “mistake” calling me he/him and honestly more endearing bc I’m afab
yes! my eldest sibling is nb, if you misgender them and just correct yourself quickly and move on they dont mind at all. it's when you misgender them and then fall all over yourself dramatically being like "omg im SOOOO SORRRYY please FORGIVE ME" that they mind, because then you've made it all about you and now they need to manage your feelings for you. just making an effort and not being a jerk on purpose is enough!
Exactly. I have a number of friends who do not use the pronouns given to them at birth. I have misgendered on occasion. It happens. You get corrected, you make a point to save that info in your head. I've been misgendered myself too, although those are more amusing than hurtful experiences when it happens to me. The problem is when you correct someone and they continue to misgender either out of blatant disrespect or just straight up ignorance. That's when the real harm begins.
@@CinnamonBasic I was coming to comment about that. A quick correction is fine but when you make a show about it or make it a huge deal, that’s when we start getting upset about it
One time my younger sister (she's 6 and I'm 19) called me her 'second mum' and you could feel the colour drain from my mum's face... partly because she felt ignored by my sister and partly because she realised how much I take care of my sister that she put two and two together and assumed I was her parental figure. It's an interesting thing to experience, for sure.
I went through something similar when my brother started calling me mom and for like 6 months never called our mom mom Its been a long time and I think my mom regrets how much I took care of him but were all adults now and were able to have a relationship thankfully my mom is open to hearing how I feel and it's super healing for me
Omg Yesterday my 12 yr old sister posted a cute video saying she’s not a mommy’s or daddy’s girl, but a Sister’s girl followed by a bunch of pictures of me and my sisters (all 18+). Although, both my parents are present, they’ve relied on us girls to do most of the parenting My mom saw it and same, I saw the color drain from her face.
My mother had a similar experience. My mother was the oldest daughter and her little sister was 10 years younger. My mother did the vast majority of the childcare, and my nana once got pissed af when my aunt called my mother mommy
Memory unlocked: I don't think my mother knows my youngest brother did this - only a few times/short time and only directly to me, I don't think she was ever around for them. I corrected him pretty early on but it was still pretty early in his talking days, he knew how to say our names without mistakes but I still got mom a few times instead of my name or the title of "sister". Eta: I mentioned this to my partner and he commented that my brother did this at another point too. We lived with my family while moving towns and although I forget it my then 15 year old brother apparently called me mom at least twice in the two month we stayed there.
DEAR LAUREN as a fellow 'annoyingly vocal' person who gets frequently called out for being blunt and harsh, knowing and trusting yourself deeply enough to be truly authentic and outspoken is a strength. people are very anti women who are self assured, but you aren't alone or wrong for communicating clearly : )
Okay, as someone who both loves editing text and has no gender of my own, I would RELISH the opportunity to do the de-gendering of the stories for the inevitable next time you do this! 😊 Not even joking, hit me up and I will do those edits. I’m not sure EXACTLY how it would work, but hey, I’m sure we can figure it out!
You could put the edited story then below it type the genders and use black highlighter. So when Morgan is done reading the story she can remove the black highlighter and reveal genders.
i think that would be cool. some of the stories were obviously still gendered and needed some serious revisions, you could rewrite them and then for the reveal have a small conclusion about the specific changes (ex: lipstick changed to red hat) good luck!
You can use discord!! You can use syntax to mark any revealing info as spoilers so it looks like empty space where the info is, and then she can click the spoiler button and all will be revealed!! I also am willing to help edit if there are a lot of stories, we could make a discord thread or a forum or something with a list of stories to read and links to the reddit posts for the comments!
Right? I think it's so cute too how the other two just awkwardly acted like that didn't happen & when on to act like it was a just a hunch they knew it was a guy😂
I really hope you guys see this because I stopped everything to tell you guys. I want to remind you guys of how GOOD OF JOB you’re doing. It lowkey breaks my heart when people in the comment say rude, judgmental things and you three bring it up later in episodes. Please know for every bad comment, there are much more people who love your show and may not even say anything. You guys literally make my week and I get so excited for Thursdays! I wish people wouldn’t “come for you” for the smallest things. It is an opinionated podcast! Even when I don’t agree with the points you make, I will love listening and be entertained. You all do such a great job of being real people, it feels like honestly you are friends with your listeners and we are just having a chat. You guys seem so realistic, in a world where a lot of stuff online is unrealistic. I really just wanted to say I love the show, and I wish so much people understood that your “takes” on topics are just opinions. It isn’t like you preaching what is right and wrong. I feel for you guys so much when people comment mean things. I hope over time it has been easier to brush off what people say. I can’t wait to see you all continue to grow and thanks for putting on such an entertaining show!
Did anyone else think the Tiny House was about power? If they sell OPs house and buy a Tiny House together, spouse is in better position financially right?
Omg true! + OP had the house before the marriage so it is not community property, it is OPs, But if either buy a house now it is community property in a divorce
without the gender, it really makes a difference. I usually side with the women because I understand them more as a girl myself. This ep was so interesting!! Also love how you promote the sponsors, it sounds so genuine ^^
HEY LAUREN the 'annoyingly vocal' person is a god send for a overthinker like me. I often spiral into what someone isnt saying or the details they must be leaving out for whatever reason. I feel like having someone who is direct speaking their mind at all times is such a blessing. You would never have to guess if their was a hidden agenda or something deep they werent saying. Ugh to have a friend like you how cool. Also Edit: GET THEM MORGAN lol just hit that rant go morgan go!!!!!
Speech language pathologist here! I hope they get that child speech therapy. Awesome they’re starting to babble dada and mama at 3 years old but…they should be producing simple sentences already🙂
Story 4: I’m unsure why they are like anti doctor intervention. Like the wife never got evaluated and it’s been 3 years ! And their child has a speech delay but it wasn’t mention if they have taken their child to get evaluated.
Okay for the first story…as a redhead I would find it so WEIRD if I looked identical to my significant other’s parent. It’s already so wild to have someone close to me also be a redhead BECAUSE we’re a dying breed haha but if I looked IDENTICAL and they called me mommy…absolutely not.
Yes!! All three together I've been wanting this for so loooong! This made my day! Edit: This is such an interesting topic too! Also, an awesome distraction from my AITA post that currently is not going the way I want it to lol
As a step mom: in the beginning it was rough I’m not going to lie. It was bickering a lot in the beginning. We’re now at a time where everything we do is for our baby girl. I took her shopping for her moms Christmas present and we had hot cocoa and wrapped it. Last Halloween we baked cupcakes for her and cooked earlier this year too. When her birthday came around she was invited to the party and accidentally forget her price of cake. I brought the cake to her job because I wanted our daughter to see all 3 of us do it for her. When your with someone with kids they take priority always end of story. You cannot expect to get in the way.
I love Alejandra’s takes , she always seems to be collective and articulates her thoughts pretty well 🤍 Also Lauren saying “suck d***” and everyone reacting on that was hilarious
1:19:49 this gave me a really off vibe. i know u guys try to be ally’s but this comes off as being a deflection from if you ever do slip up and make a bigoted statement that they wouldn’t count simply for speaking about gay/trans people in the stories. please keep an open mind as cishet women that allies still slip up
yes this is a good reminder! im glad they are open to call-ins and i appreciate that they are "when you know better, you can do better" learning types. I also appreciate your comment.
Yeah it kinda gave off mean girl vibes to me when she started yelling like that. It’s so hard because I love them and this podcast but she was a little rude
I think to insinuate that, as a public figure, people don’t have the right to critique your takes as we should know your intentions is irresponsible. It is irrelevant your intension, everyone can make mistakes as there are often unconscious biases at play and should be called out for it. I’m not sure what comment your referring to but I think the most important part is how you react to these critiques even if you think they are wrong. You come across as defensive rather than being open to others perspective and experiences.
Ive worked in perinatal mental health in consulting and the partner has every right to feel upset about OPs friend being referred to as “mama/dada”. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s something more to it such as postpartum depression (which I know we can’t be certain). There’s this ideal that when you give birth you automatically feel connected to the baby, which is a narrative that I find so toxic. It’s more common than you think for parents to struggle bonding with the baby. Definitely these parents should be working as a unit or reaching out for professional help if there’s concerns. There are senior consultants and midwives that are trained in this, including sessions which help for bonding with baby. I understand though that this may not be available to all, which sucks. OP could of handled this differently. This must be so difficult for them and their feelings of frustration at the situation are valid, but saying to your partner that you haven’t been much of a parent as the friend has is so so hurtful. Anyway hopefully they can get the best support for them and their child. Edit: happy that they have found a solution and divorced. Hopefully this resolution will make them both happier. Perinatal mental health for both mums and dads is such an overlooked issue.
Definitely a difference between mami and mommy BUT the fact that they look so similar would be a complete turn off for me regardless of how he’s saying it honestly.
I don't know, first language is Spanish and I answer "MAMIIIIIIIIIII" when my mom calls. My sister in law thinks it's cute and hopes her daughter does that when she's my age (early 20s)
@@katrinascarlet5637 as a baby or a child that’s definitely cute or nothing to seem weird but as a GROWN man? Idk id feel weird having a man call me mommy. I don’t speak Spanish but I’ve been called mami chula before which I know is also definitely different from just “Mom” or “mommy”
If someone calls me mommy...they're getting dumped. Nope! I ain't doing that! If I didn't birth you/Whatever I'm not your mommy. If someone calls me daddy...I'm going to either feel butt ugly or I'm gonna start questioning things. The first story has me messed up! Freud can't keep getting away with this! 😓
Story 4: I have a speech impediment that I will probably always have because I grew up in a time before free services. If my family wanted me to get evaluated it had to be through the school who did not want to have me evaluated for some reason. I have a stutter now that comes out when I’m stressed/relaxed and don’t slow down and properly process my speech. Get your kids evaluated for anything that feels off. Better safe than sorry.
Im kinda upset with the take on the friend being called mom/dad. I feel like we completely neglected the fact the this has been years and op’s partner wasn’t just dejected but showed no interest in the child from the start. Keeping that in mind even if the dejection was at fault of postpartum depression if it’s been years and you haven’t even gotten checked out to see if it was depression you have a responsibility to yourself and your child to get help! And to a certain extent I completely understand the hardship of that however op seems to be putting all of themselves into helping to care for their child without the support of their partner, and the gang only speaks, in this scenario, about supporting your partner in the instance of op supporting their partner in their mental health but ops partner isn’t taking the proper steps for their mental health to be there for op or their child. Unfortunately, your mental health is your responsibility, and with a partner willing to help with the majority of the childcare and other responsibilities, you have less reason not to have already taken those steps. Op is also an asshole for saying that their friend is more of a parent than the partner, they helped create said child and in the instance ops partner was the one carrying the child he’s even more of an asshole however I don’t blame op for seeking solace in a person whom could support them in ways their partner can’t and although allowing your child to think of them as a parent is far fetched, in this instance I do feel that if the friend has stepped up in a way that was so impactful that the child sees them as a parent I think that is indicative of the disparity between the care the child is receiving from op’s friend vs op’s partner. I would hope they would find a way to fix things but op needs to be honest about how their feeling and op’s partner needs to get help with their dejection, both for the sake of the child. I don’t think it’s fair to say the friend is taking advantage of the friend or making them a pseudo isn’t fair because as we know the friend adores the child and sees it as an honor to be in such a role in the child’s development. All in all I think both of the parents suck and the friend is an angel for stepping up lol
100% agree on most aspects the fact that the child is calling another man 'dada' would be strange if he had his whole vocabulary but as stated he's got a speech delay so it might just be a case of he can't say the other persons name yet and dada is easier for the child but other than that I agree with you all the way!!
With the friend helping raise the child…once again, like the last story that was similar, what about the child? Should the parent shame te child for calling the friend a parent? Yell “no!” every time? I have no disagreement that the estranged parent might have PPD. But I, with experience in mental health, need y’all to ask yourself, at what point does the mother have the obligation to get treatment for the sake of the child? I’d say that by the time the child is almost three, it’s time. She needs to get help because that kiddo is the one suffering now. Write this letter from the perspective of the child, who feels rejected by their parent. It’s time she gets help, if not for her, for that child. I love this show. It’s just that once the baby is old enough to feel rejected, my concern goes to the child, not to the parent who is rejecting the child.
Imagine 15 years from now, what would that kid say? Probably something like, “when I was little, my mom never wanted to be around me. I never felt loved by her. I know now, that she would have probably preferred not to be a parent. I know she probably had some PPD or mental health issues, but she refused to get treatment. I’m still dealing with our painful relationship today. I’m so, so lucky that my dad’s best friend helped raise me and was a second dad to me.” That’s just always how I look at it.
This is kinda how I felt about the other similar story in question. What Morgan and Alejandra+ a bunch of people on Reddit suggested the dad should do to get the mom and child closer,would just be punishing the child. Saying stuff like they suggested “ if mom can’t come ( this person you have essentially no relationship with) then there won’t be any Trick or treating. Putting that kind of pressure and responsibility on a small child just seem cruel to me
@@kokopuffs7618 I grew up similar. I was constantly dragged into my parents arguments, and had a lot of pressure out on me especially if I was the “reason” my parents fought. for years, I thought it was normal but it’s all messed up looking back. I feel like Morgan really could’ve handled the take better.
@kokopuffs7618 do you know what episode the halloween/trick or treating story is in that they are referring to? I'm fairly new to two hot takes (since like January, but instantly a fan) and am so curious about it! 🎃
I don't think you all are homophobic, but there is a natural disconnect. There are things you all say in different context that just exhibits that you don't really understand that perpective, while it can be eh; it's not your lifestyle so there is going to be a disconnect there. It isn't a bad thing, especially because you all do want to be understanding and respectful of other people. You still have a lot of learning in that department, but I wouldn't chastise any of you for it. You know?
Going through school is difficult and I at times can feel alienated and alone. Your podcast is something I look forward to so much. You and father knows best have helped me through so much and helps me not feel so alone throughout the day ❤️ thank you!
Not only is it so hard to admit you didn't connect with your child when you carried and birthed that child, but it's hard because we fear the *exact* reaction that OP had. The fear is that we'll be looked at like a monster and they'll run away, and he DID. I'm not saying they should have stayed together, but the reaction to Matt being another parent shows how at war with herself Sam is. She likely already hates that she isn't naturally parental, and that probably twisted the knife. PPD will definitely make someone feel like life would have been better, so treating her lile she is a horrible person because of that is only going to make it worse. I hope she got help.
About the parent date night thing I'm 24 now so i definitely wouldn't call it "date night" but when I was younger we would go on "daddy daughter dates" or "mommy son dates" and i think we called it that because when our parents when on dates it was a "special date night" so calling it that made us as kids feel like we were also going on a cool date too😊
literally whenever i start to get kind of glum and notice that i can't listen to a single podcast amd no video is doing it for me... this is where i go. luv it
Alejandra, I relate so much to you. I am also a female who is not naturally maternal. I never had those instincts or desires growing up. In my teen years I never babysat, didn’t want to hold kids, never felt motherly etc. I told every guy I dated that I did not want kids. I even told my husband on our first date that if he wanted kids to date someone else, because it was not what I saw in my future. 10 years later, and two kids later, things obviously changed. I did feel pressure once I was married to have kids, it’s kind of a long story, I won’t go into. What I will say is, my husband was very supportive of not having kids if I did not want to. I think is really important for people to know how much this pressure to be maternal and have an instant bond affects women’s mental health after birth. I ended up having severe postpartum depression with my oldest daughter, for years. The first year was the worst, I honestly don’t remember much because I was in such a dark place. I didn’t feel connected to my baby, and honestly relate to the woman in the story. I too did not get help, or a diagnosis until years later. My husband didn’t know what to do, and when you’re in that mental state, part of you doesn’t realize it and the other part feels like it physically can’t get help. It breaks my heart for the woman in the story, because it sounds like she was me. My husband could have easily been upset with how I acted and didn’t connect, but there was nothing I could do. I was literally just trying to stay alive. My husband did feedings, baths, bedtime, story time, he did everything. I didn’t resent my kids ever, and I absolutely love them. I now can’t imagine not being a mom. My oldest is eight, and my youngest is five. the early years were extremely difficult, not just because they were babies, but because I felt such guilt and shame for not instantly feeling connected, maternal or motherly. I broke up with any man that said, maybe one day I would change my mind. That’s super rude and extremely one sided. Women should be respected for their decisions about their own bodies. If they decide they do not want kids, they should not be pressured into it, or Told they’ll change their minds. Some people choose to live happy and fulfilled kid free lives, and that is 100% OK. For me, it turned out well. But I know that I got lucky. Some people never recover from the depression of not feeling the things they thought they were supposed to feel when they have a baby. I came very close to ending my life, and I’m so thankful I didn’t but it could’ve been so much worse. To anyone else who may be reading my comment, and maybe relate to my story currently, I urge you to summon every ounce of courage you have and make just a Teladoc appointment. They can prescribe medication‘s over the phone, you deserve to live a better life than this.
On the last story, my sister had my nephew when she was still in college. So the three of us: her, my mom and I (also in college) were a team to take care of him. And as he started speaking he started calling us all "mom". It was really sweet but we set boundaries and corrected him. In my family it's tradition aunts and uncles get call by first name and grandparents are Mama/papa + first name. It was a habit that took a while to correct, but we got it. And even tho I'm honored that he so me as a mother figure, I'm not his mom I'm his aunt and he has a mom
I love the moment somewhere in the middle where Alejandra goes mom mode. It's funny she says she doesn't have maternal instincts, but her telling Lauren we need to start by getting a second estimate to fix your doors was definitely giving parent 😂
The story of the child calling the best friend mom/dad made me think really hard. I’m divorced from my ex husband (children’s dad) and my best friend currently lives with me. My kids are a little older (7&4) but when my best friend moved in they were younger and they would call her mom sometimes. I personally did not feel offended or feel weird about it at all. However my ex husband got extremely annoyed when he heard them call her mom. I don’t understand what the issue is because they know she isn’t actually their mom but she has filled the role of the other parent since my ex and I got a divorce.
For the last story , I still think that you guys are biased . Especially because there's a chance of the mother having postpartum . And I think you are missing a huge point . The baby calling another person mama means that she didn't form any emotional bond with her mother . And Even if mom is struggling with depression , it's still her responsibility to get help for that and try to build that bond . It's not her husband responsibility to try and form that bond between mom and baby . Working a lot isn't an excuse to not having that bond . She can form that bond in the times she is there . Like fathers have done that for ages . They both worked and had that bond with their kids . And mothers can do the same . Father has a duty to protect his child physically and emotionally . To me him allowing his kid to call another person mom when the mom isn't emotionally there , is him emotionally protecting his kid . And I don't understand why would she has a problem with the baby calling someone else did when they don't want to be a mom ?
This!!! I also don't understand why they approached this with the idea of a parent being "replaced." There CAN be a third parent! Parenting doesn't have to be a 2-person thing all the time. There can be multiple moms and multiple dads, and the girls acknowledge that the title is more than just in relation to biology. Also: it's not confusing for children. Gay couples who have children often use different variations of mom or dad to help the child tell them apart. It's really not that hard.
I think you all should do an episode about looking in the mirror upon meeting the parents. The Freud thing is only partly about appearance- I think I remember learning that he thought people choose someone who looks like mom because we all are trying to find someone for a partner who will re parent us to fix the gaps in parental needs we grow up to feel weren’t filled or whatever. The odd look alike thing is some sideways try at that.. which I find extremely interesting. That would be a huge turn off for me.. imagine thinking you nabbed an awesome guy and get all the way to meeting the parents and when you see her, his mom could be your identical twin.
I said “you all” and it looks harsh. didn’t wanna say “you guys should..”and “you girls - gals - ladies..” looked stupid. And I’m from California, so I’m not gonna say ya’ll. 😇 Just hi! I’m a fan of your podcast. 🦄
I look like fiancé's parent story: This would be a major deal breaker for me. I would be constantly wondering if my partner was secretly fantasizing about doing physical activities with their parent, 100% since the mommy/daddy kink is in play. Regardless of gender it would still give me the ick, also if after they start gifting me clothing that they know their parent favors like the red hat, then it goes to specific types of shirts they like to wear. OP should test this by doing something to slightly change their appearance just to see how their partner reacts. Say partner's parent has red hair, OP dyes it a different colour. WAIT I commented that while they were discussing the post
This may be shaming but certain “kinks” for me are 100% deal breakers and the mommy/daddy kink is one of them. No one is calling me Mommy in bed, I would barf 🤢
1:19:00 I don't think Morgan or any regulars are homophobic, but as a queer person myself, I can safely say it's so fucking infuriating when all your friendships are perceived as queer romantic ones.
That’s what I was thinking. I didn’t perceive it a homophobic but it definitely came off as a bit offensive. + them not even recognizing that they could’ve said something hurtful and just brushing it off as “ haters gonna hate” didn’t sit well with me
So I understand you all have reputations to uphold and everything however please be mindful that even if you do love and care for gay and trans people you can still say and do things that are homophobic, not in this specific case but in general. Sometimes we say things that are ignorant or not politically correct without malintent however when we get called out the best thing we can do is apologize and try to do better. Love you all and this is not an attack, just something to keep in mind!
PATHOLOGICAL LIAR EPISODE PLSPLSPLS inspired by my recent and worst experience ever. I submitted a personal write in on the sub reddit, my suggestion was “pathological liar” episode. My personal wrote in was called “I swear I’m not hallucinating” I dmed you guys on reddit as well with the story. Would love to hear your guys’ opinion on the most fucking bizzare thing that’s ever happened to me and my experience with a pathological liar. Love the podcast.
For the calling the friend dad/mom story, it feels like OP is punishing their partner for struggling mentally. They literally admit they weren’t planning on having a kid this early.
Yes! This story pissed me off so much. So disrespectful of op to basically strip the other parent of their title because they struggled, and parenting didnt go the way they wanted.
@@morgannelson1590 Not even necessarily stripped of the title, since the genders were revealed. On a technical level, the OP was sharing their own title of "dad" with their friend, while the partner was still the one and only "mom". The friend was definitely filling a void, but at the same time, the value that the friend could offer to the child doesn't necessarily replace what the mom could offer.
This!!! It seems like the poster got pissed because the parenting didn't come as easy to the partner as they thought it should and instead of trying to help them get help they emotionally abandoned them
I’m late to hearing this story but I was fuming! Why hasn’t their partner gotten help for their postpartum and is then punished for it! It all seemed fishy and disrespectful to me ..
With the cake story, I do think the baker is the asshole. The new partner is setting a boundary - the kids could make something else for them and explain to the children that they're already getting a cake! Could make cookies even!!!
I don’t think y’all are homophobic AT ALL but it’s always good to be receptive to people telling you to be mindful of the way you talk about stories featuring LBGTQIA+ people, and recognize that it should be the default to feature us in stories because we are people who exist. In my opinion you weren’t being homophobic but it can be a tough line when you are used to having the love you experience be seen as inherently comedic. Keep in mind that when you are the butt of the joke your whole life there will be a twinge of pain when you think a creator you like is doing it also, and y’all wouldn’t necessarily know that from your own experiences. I truly love this pod and the power trio y’all were this episode💜 I would love more longer episodes with all three of you please!!
For the last story: don't think OP is the asshole for not correcting the three-year old with a speech-delay. Could be happy that the child is finally starting to speak. And the fact that it could be confusing for a kid to have 2 persons with the same title is nonsense. Some have 2 moms or 2 dads anyways and lots of kids have 2 grandmothers and 2 grandfathers. However OP is the asshole for saying that friend was more of a parent than her partner when trying to work things out tho
With the third story, this is my take. I own my own home and I would never agree to a tiny house!!! It's my house and I would never let my partner rob me of it.
My husband gave me a whole *ss room to put all my hobby stuff into. Candlemaking, art, wax stamping, sewing, plants, everything and he even built shelving for me. He knew who he married so he made sure I'd have my own craft room.
For some reason I get this sinking feeling that in the last story with the kid, we a missing a vital piece of information of weather or not the Mother was on BC and it failed, or if a condom broke, tracking or they truly were just not using any protection. Because I feel like that is what determines to me or most if that pregnancy was forced. Even if you want kids in the future you can still be forced to have kids too soon, thus leading to it be coercion. Because once you find out there isn't a lot of time to be like no not now if your married. The pressure from another parent and society can be over whelming. Even if he didn't outwardly do things to get her pregnant without her knowing, he absolutely sat next to her and whispered in her hear all the things he needed to to make sure she had the baby/kept the baby. Depending on where she lives, their religious background, etc. It shows a lot of insensitivity on his point, that she was terrified to have a baby and then it came and all her fears where confirmed and now they are getting divorced. Having a baby when you're not ready is never a good thing and will almost always end badly.
Hands up if you've already listened to the whole episode on Spotify, but you're here again to see the three lovely Musketeers together. 🙋 Just me, no one else? That's cool too. PS. Love the podcast, so entertaining and it really feels like you girls are bringing us along in the conversations, great job. Keep it up!
I remember a great episode of scrubs where Carla realizes she has a lot of extreme similarities to Turks mom and when she confronts her about it, she's horrified and turns to leave. Then he asks her why he wouldn't love a woman that made him feel safe, loved, and comfortable in the way his mom taught him he deserved to be, and I always loved that episode actually! I thought it was sweet. I think maybe some people seek attention from partners that remind them of their parents because they were neglected and feel like they need that love, and some people seek partners that remind them of their parents because they want to model the kind and loving relationship they got to witness growing up. And I don't think either inherently makes or breaks a relationship fundamentally. Idk though,,, in this particular case, if I was that convinced it was sex thing and that upset about it, I'd probably bounce 💀
1:18:30 I will start off by saying I love you guys and I don’t think you’re a homophobe Morgan. But something good to remember is that just because you’re not a homophobe , it does not make you immune to say or do homophobic stuff. I felt a little iffy about the story in question as well and how you and Alejandra very easily made assumptions.( which , yeah were a little offensive honestly and made me sigh a bit ) but don’t take the critique as a personal attack on your character, take it as a reminder that you’re not perfect and can still make mistakes✌️ I will say though, not even recognizing that you could have said something wrong or hurtful, you’re not making it any easier on yourself. It doesn’t matter that “ we should know you guys by now” or that “those who really know you know your hearts”. You said what you said it doesn’t matter what intentions you had. +The “ haters gonna hate” kinda talk you also had does not look good in this scenario.
I’ve been waiting for this Edit: “I’m doing what’s best for the family” Your friend’s families are miserable Edit: OP owns the house, the guy never talked to them before calling a REALTOR, it’s 225 square feet on average and OP says the other friends are MISERABLE
Listening to the story about the mother who ended up not wanting her children makes me sad. Sad for her, sad for him, sad for the child. But ultimately, this sounds like the best scenario. I have four sisters, all half sisters. All of our various parents wanted children and I do believe they love us very much, however love is no enough to be a parent. They all had different ideas of what parenting would be like and what their children would be like, none of it matched up to reality, at least not fully. None of them handled it well. Some liked us when we were small but not when we were preteens and teens. One had major mental issues and becoming a mom didn't solve that, it made it worse. One wanted to be a distant father, but still fully respected and loved as an involved one. Also many of our parents suffered from addiction and trauma. I'm not saying people can't work on that and become good parents, I'm saying ours didn't. We also saw how miserable our parents were for different reasons. They tried, that wasn't the issue. The issue was that their best wasn't enough. That doesn't make them bad people, just people who shouldn't have been parents. It led to me (oldest sister) having many serious conversations with my sisters throughout our lives about making sure we wanted to be parents. Not just wanting kids, but wanting to be PARENTS and understanding everything that's involved in that. From labor to finances to children having mental health or disability issues to your children being someone very different from you. Only one of the four of us have decided to have children. Multiple family members have said I have scared them away from being parents. As a child who had parents who loved us but didn't like us or still resented us or thought they were entitled to our feelings -sometimes all three, I believe it is important to the person and potential child to not make that decision lightly.
Lmao my ex was jealous of my dog (who I’m obsessed with). She was insecure and abusive. My next partner had dogs of her own she was obsessed with and therefore we meshed better lol. She didn’t yell at me for spending too long at the dog park or out walking. She understood my dog came first and hers did too. I know it’s not kids, but, my only relatable experience 😅
For the story about the kid calling the friend “mama”, I honestly disagree with you all. I’m a mama to two kids, and this child isn’t even 3. They don’t necessarily understand their words and what they’re speaking (generally). This person presumably raised this child with the father, even though mom was still in the picture. They’re also just learning to talk due to speak delays, so at this point, they’re simply just babbling. I can 100% understand the mom being upset, but the way she reacted is just not the way she should have. She should have explained her feelings, and asked her husband to talk to the friend, and also both of them sit and explain things to their child as simply as possible. I don’t necessarily think OP is an asshole, and I don’t necessarily think the friend is either. I just think boundaries are being miscommunicated and the poor child shouldn’t be in the middle of it.
Personally I think they should have been allowed to babble to develop their speech, I think that detail got lost in the throng of info for them to unpack here. But the communication between the partners wasn’t where it needed to be. It kind of felt like the OP was almost feeling like it was payback? That’s too strong a word, but OP clearly has a tad of resentment for the person who gave birth and that’s where I would consider it asshole-y.
When my twins were little and not talking much, they called me Mama and my mom Uma. I could always tell the difference but lots of people thought it was crossing boundaries. But they just couldn’t say Grandma yet, and she really was our support system and basically their other parent. It’s different because they did grow out of it as they learned more words, but I always loved it. I also had no issues with my kids calling their new stepmom some form of mom, but their dad did so they use her first name or say stepmom. I offered ideas (mom in another language, bonus mom, etc.) but I was the only one okay with it. I know I’m their mama, and nobody could ever threaten that for me.
1:19:28 Ok so I understand defending yourself, but I do think doubling down so hard is a little silly. People aren’t exempt from doing harmful things and sometimes we say things that we don’t realize can be harmful! Also cancel culture is super shallow at best, I don’t think a cast of white* women are gonna have their careers disassembled unless they do outright say some dumb shit. Even after saying insidious shit, people still live long and bountiful lives. obvi not saying that ya’ll are spewing heinous shit, but it’s easy to catch yourself in an echo chamber when you’re with the homies (*cast of peers are almost entirely white)
For the last one I can’t help but to feel like…. You’re married. You noticed your partner is in a depressive state or not in the best mental health and decided to wait this long to have a conversation… I think OP is just as guilty for why that conversation took so long. It felt like OP tried to pass blame off as it was the partner’s job to bring up the conversation… but again I can’t help but to feel that OP took the baby to their friend and left the partner behind in both mental health and as a partner/coparent. Aside from the partner, the baby is having a delay in speech. Why is it taking so long to seek outside help for these things? Idk. Maybe it was so stressful for OP they didn’t want to add more to their plate… but the way the post was worded feels like they just up and left mentally. How were they both so out of touch with each other in a marriage?
Hi, I really like this podcast but the mention of/ response to people in past episodes calling you homophobic put a really sour taste in my mouth. You can’t just say “you guys know me” and call it a day. Queer people and allies can also say/do homophonic things by mistake. It happens. “I’m an ally and I highlight queer stories” is not an excuse, your past statements can still have been perceived as homophobic. Just own up to it and apologize next time.
I feel like Lauren was treated unfair in this episode. She was dismissed and interrupted a lot and you can tell her demeanor retrieved thru the episode. Maybe she’s used to it, but hope she’s ok❤️
I think you might be reading to deeply into it. They are best friends, Morgan and Lauren (not sure about Alejandra) both have ADD/ADHD so interruptions are always going to happen and it's never malicious or intentional, it just happens. As they said they had long days at work so maybe she's tierd, who knows, but they're all always treated equally in every episode so rather look at the pattern of treatment Xx all the best to Lauren anyways.
come ON ... people in the comments wanna read sooo much into these interactions.. as if they're not adults, friends, work partners - they know each other way better than we do ;)
@@7thCobweb you can be bestfriends with people and still sometime feel that way... it doesn't mean it's bad or that they're doing it on purpose but it can happen. I think Lauren is someone who is more herself and has more presence when there is only 2 of them (I relate)
I love the concept for this episode!! I had a feeling the first one was gendered the way it was… I feel like I hear more emotional incest stories going that way instead of the other way around. Also can I say all three of you are looking so pretty in this ep!
Same I loved the concept but I would have enjoyed it more if the genders were at all surprising. I feel like each role in the story kind of fell into stereotypical gendered reactions, so it was easy to guess and already have that image in your head as you listened. Would be fun to do this again but with less expected roles.
Lmao in the tiny home story I was like “yeah that’s definitely a man” and then when you guys made that same comment I was like SEE YOU GET IT 😂 and we were right
So, with the first story I’m a little skeptical. As a redhead I am told ALL the time that I look just like someone’s (fill in the blank). When in all reality the only similarity they just also have red hair. But maybe it’s real weird.
For the first story - As a curly-haired redhead myself, I get told that I look like basicly every redhead that I come into contact with. People often mistake my brother in-law for my actual brother, and we look nothing alike, we just both have red hair. Going out with my redheaded friend usually involves at least one stranger asking if we're sisters or twins. I would think this situation was weirder if the fiance and parent had any other defining feature, but from my own experience, everyone thinks that we look related.
I would like to say on the tiny house one, I’m a single 21 yo with no dependents other than cats so it’s incredibly affordable for someone like myself to build a tiny home, and my parents were gracious enough to let me use their land so it’s affordable, close to home, easily managed, and I’m still technically living on my own but my parents are right next door. I’m certain cases tiny homes are great for 1-2 people but understandably not every family unit can be accommodated.
aw no i relate to morgan, I stopped calling my dad Daddy because of all the weirdness in the media about it :( I don't think he cares lol he's always referred to himself and my mum by their names when talking to us, he never really did the whole 'mum/mummy said this' thing that my mum does.
I would've said around the family when they kept bringing it up "that's it baby, you're not allowed to call me mommy anymore" and laugh. Play it off as a joke but set a boundary lol
Red heads in general share a lot of characteristics though. Pale skin, freckels, blue eyes, the shade of red is doesn't vary as much as other hair colours
Parents in story 4: we’re getting a divorce
The baby in story 4, thinking that “dada” is just what you call grown men because they’re a baby: 👁️👄👁️
That’s what I thought. There’s a lot more context here, but the actual act of the child calling the father’s friend dad might not be that deep. Several of my young cousins went through that faze of calling every grownup mum/dad or even calling them mum/dad followed by their name. They thought that it was just a description for all grownups or, if the adults had kids of their own, they assumed that calling someone dad and mum is what you call someone who is a parent in general. Obviously everyone would correct them, but I never saw anyone viewing it as disrespectful, cause the kids simply didn’t know any better.
@@Thespinadel yah it really is just what kids do. My girl does it at daycare and it's like yah she's talking! She's saying "person person!!! Pay attention!"
My 2 year old calls everyone mama. She will sometimes say dada, grandma, grandpa, sibling name, etc. but she almost always calls everyone mama. 😂
@@danieltorres5849i had a cousin that did that too, if you picked her up, male, female, teenager, adult, you instant were “mama”
It's not about the kid calling the friend dad. It's about the dad letting it happen. As they said in the podcast, it's an easy correction to make. Letting it happen signifies the issues in his relationship with his wife and how he views the friend.
When my brother described his "ideal girl" he started listing traits I recognized our mom had. I told him, "You do know you just described Mom, right?" His face went 😨and he all but yelled in disgust, "Oh my GOD!" He ended up marrying a girl who was nothing like our mother. 😂 But, he's very happy with her though.
😂😂 Good thing he was 100% not willing to go down that path
Good job, Sis
Lmao you traumatised your brother jk! that’s hilarious
A man’s first love of a woman is generally their mother. So when they think about a woman they can love, they think about the woman they loved the most/longest. Weather consciously or not
and this is why i support bullying siblings
"A lot of men end up with women who look like their moms"
Me: *slowly turns my Caucasian self to look at my husband*
Hubby: *Slowly turns his Korean self to look at me*
Hubby: "Sorry you had to find out this way." 😂
I feel the same way every time this is said as if it’s a fact. Like what about all the interracial relationships 😅. My husband is white and I’m a pretty decently tan Latina. We both couldn’t look any more different from each others parents. 🤣
@@NessaNesser RIGHT im gay and im like.... uhhhh my parents both look extremely hetero and plain, and im attracted to women who are GNC or at least alternative :')
Same hahah. My husband is a white german and im Mexican 🤣
@@NessaNesserit’s obviously not a hard and fast rule lol but it’s more likely than unlikely. your relationship with your parents is the first u have and the rest are based on that first one.
@sophiaec2607 same tho.....I'm gay and my girlfriend looks absolutely NOTHING like my mom. And I look nothing like her mom lol. She's more of the male side and I am very girly girl.
I’m only on story #2 so far…I can tell SO easily who the guy is in each scenario, without thinking the blanks just fill themselves in. Men have a different kind of audacity LMAO
Men really do have a different kind of audacity 😂😂😂
@@meganmichelllllle vl
No literally 😂😂
i was gonna comment exactly that
I've heard so many reddit stories with the husband just deciding to make a big life change assuming the wife's assets can be liquidated because it is for US BABE despite not really having her opinion on it.
From the first story. I’m Latina. I had a boyfriend that was white and he called me mommy and I thought it was the weirdest thing and I asked him to stop. Then when I had a Latino boyfriend he called me mami or mamacita and I was fine with it. I loved it. Idk if it’s because we are from the same culture or because mommy is just weird
Yeah. I think Mommy is weird because culturally children call their mothers mommy whereas in my experience I grew up calling my mom ama and she called me mama. Mami was a very reggaeton word that was used to sexualize people.
yeah mamacita is slang and very inherently sexual, no child calls their mom that.
i want kid and i want a mariage, my partner dont want any of that but i love him so much and its been 5 year of relation. i think about it everyday and i know you all say its a waste a time but he is ny person atleast now … it just feel so overwhelmed to think about it dont know what to do
@@vicgauthier2707will you regret it when one day you can no longer get pregnant ? Do you see this person sticking by your side for life? Your desire for children is more important than sticking by someone who doesn’t want the same. You’re truly wasting time and I hope that you don’t wait forever or regret it if you choose to settle
@@vicgauthier2707 If you want someone who wants those things, there is someone. Do you want to look at him as a reminder of all the things you wanted. You can’t force someone to want those things. I can kind of relate because I don’t want children myself. I had another ex who did and he tried to convince to a point where I had to end it. I was madly in love with him but we wanted 2 different things. Just because you break up doesn’t mean the love isn’t there. I thought I could never love someone again but there is someone out there. I was afraid to be alone and single. Eventually you’ll meet someone who want those things. Sorry for the long thing. I wish you the best luck and hopefully you get everything you want in life
Let me preface this by saying I love you all equally. I just wanna show some love to Lauren. Lately she's been my favorite with her takes because she's so upfront and blunt lately. I can tell she's putting herself out of her comfort zone to give the honest thoughts on her mind. I don't even always agree with her takes. You can just tell she's really engaged and open where in the beginning, she was more reserved. 💜
I totally agree! ❤
@@royaal-hakani623 they're like the perfect bff trio.
yes yes yes i completely agree! love her
@@royaal-hakani623 omg another hijabi hi!!!
Yessss I love to see this
There’s a story that came out about this man who got sexually abused from his mom since he was 8 or something and he grew up thinking it was normal until he met his girlfriend and he learned how bad it was because his thought process on it was “but my mom needs this from me” he went into therapy and got a restraining order.
why are you lying
@@crazysnakes1237huh?
@@Felix_hobi you heard me crystal clear
for story #1, my concern would actually not be that my partner wanted to fuck his mom, but rather he wanted ME to become the mother figure in his life. so many men are actually looking for mommies to take care of them, cook for them, clean for them, and not full-fledged partners to go through life with. by picking a woman who reminded him of his mom not just physically but also in terms of personality, i worry that he's just looking to be a little boy again.
This. Every time a younger dude pursued me I had those alarm bells about him wanting a substitute mom. (Or a sugar mama.) Women are expected to do so much domestic and emotional labor even in relationship without this weird... mommy dynamic.
Sigmund Freud strikes again
Oh no i though they were cheat siblings 😂
@@ellaory4134 Dude is always winning
Story 2: "He left to stay at a friend's place." I'm gonna assume he wasn't staying at one of his tiny house friends' homes lol
For a moment I imagined him going in and the children having to come out because all them couldn't fit inside at the same time🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
As a nonbinary person who has meet and befriended other gnc and trans people. Personally don't care what pronoun I go by, but most trans and gnc people usually are okay if you use the wrong pronouns as long as you correct your mistake. Don't beat yourself up as long as make an effort to correct the mistake which I've seen you all are
THIS I feel this way. It’s the active thinking more than the actual upfront words. Intention over mistakes. My parents for a while did seem to take my transition strong enough as I was still very similar to how I looked before I came out. I just want them to try and it bothers me when someone I care about doesn’t try. My bff has managed to switch over for a while bc he respects me so much. He even makes “mistake” calling me he/him and honestly more endearing bc I’m afab
yes! my eldest sibling is nb, if you misgender them and just correct yourself quickly and move on they dont mind at all. it's when you misgender them and then fall all over yourself dramatically being like "omg im SOOOO SORRRYY please FORGIVE ME" that they mind, because then you've made it all about you and now they need to manage your feelings for you. just making an effort and not being a jerk on purpose is enough!
The people that aren't okay with you using the wrong pronouns are still struggling with their identities
Exactly. I have a number of friends who do not use the pronouns given to them at birth. I have misgendered on occasion. It happens. You get corrected, you make a point to save that info in your head. I've been misgendered myself too, although those are more amusing than hurtful experiences when it happens to me.
The problem is when you correct someone and they continue to misgender either out of blatant disrespect or just straight up ignorance. That's when the real harm begins.
@@CinnamonBasic I was coming to comment about that. A quick correction is fine but when you make a show about it or make it a huge deal, that’s when we start getting upset about it
Every time I hear more about the story of Jerry and Morgan, it melts my heart. That’s exactly the kind of person you want in these situations.
Please do an entitled parents or an entitled passengers (ie. Flight) episode
Yesss I second this!!
Or maybe like entitled travelers so it can include even more
entitled customers, maybe
One time my younger sister (she's 6 and I'm 19) called me her 'second mum' and you could feel the colour drain from my mum's face... partly because she felt ignored by my sister and partly because she realised how much I take care of my sister that she put two and two together and assumed I was her parental figure. It's an interesting thing to experience, for sure.
I went through something similar when my brother started calling me mom and for like 6 months never called our mom mom
Its been a long time and I think my mom regrets how much I took care of him but were all adults now and were able to have a relationship thankfully my mom is open to hearing how I feel and it's super healing for me
Omg
Yesterday my 12 yr old sister posted a cute video saying she’s not a mommy’s or daddy’s girl, but a Sister’s girl followed by a bunch of pictures of me and my sisters (all 18+). Although, both my parents are present, they’ve relied on us girls to do most of the parenting
My mom saw it and same, I saw the color drain from her face.
My mother had a similar experience. My mother was the oldest daughter and her little sister was 10 years younger. My mother did the vast majority of the childcare, and my nana once got pissed af when my aunt called my mother mommy
Memory unlocked: I don't think my mother knows my youngest brother did this - only a few times/short time and only directly to me, I don't think she was ever around for them. I corrected him pretty early on but it was still pretty early in his talking days, he knew how to say our names without mistakes but I still got mom a few times instead of my name or the title of "sister".
Eta: I mentioned this to my partner and he commented that my brother did this at another point too. We lived with my family while moving towns and although I forget it my then 15 year old brother apparently called me mom at least twice in the two month we stayed there.
Same thing happened with my brother. It caused my mom to not speak to me for several days
DEAR LAUREN as a fellow 'annoyingly vocal' person who gets frequently called out for being blunt and harsh, knowing and trusting yourself deeply enough to be truly authentic and outspoken is a strength. people are very anti women who are self assured, but you aren't alone or wrong for communicating clearly : )
She communicates however feels safe to her in the moment. She shouldn't have to fight for speaking time.
She an ass
Okay, as someone who both loves editing text and has no gender of my own, I would RELISH the opportunity to do the de-gendering of the stories for the inevitable next time you do this! 😊 Not even joking, hit me up and I will do those edits. I’m not sure EXACTLY how it would work, but hey, I’m sure we can figure it out!
You could put the edited story then below it type the genders and use black highlighter. So when Morgan is done reading the story she can remove the black highlighter and reveal genders.
i think that would be cool. some of the stories were obviously still gendered and needed some serious revisions, you could rewrite them and then for the reveal have a small conclusion about the specific changes (ex: lipstick changed to red hat) good luck!
Maybe you should dm or email her directly!
You can use discord!! You can use syntax to mark any revealing info as spoilers so it looks like empty space where the info is, and then she can click the spoiler button and all will be revealed!! I also am willing to help edit if there are a lot of stories, we could make a discord thread or a forum or something with a list of stories to read and links to the reddit posts for the comments!
You could use like google docs and share it with one another that way you would also have email
Now I wanna hear about Lauren’s ulta story. Come on now Morgan, let her share the story :(
Yeah Morgan was kinda rude
she was probably gonna say something outta pocket😂
THIIIIS
I'm on Story 3 and I love Morgan being so careful not to reveal any pronouns when she said "his" in the title, bless you Morgan!
It was so challenging to do on the fly. Definitley going to recruit some help next time to rewrite lol
@Two Hot Takes I think you actually did really well, and it seemed like none of you picked up on it anyway so it worked! Great episode idea ❤️
Right? I think it's so cute too how the other two just awkwardly acted like that didn't happen & when on to act like it was a just a hunch they knew it was a guy😂
I really hope you guys see this because I stopped everything to tell you guys.
I want to remind you guys of how GOOD OF JOB you’re doing. It lowkey breaks my heart when people in the comment say rude, judgmental things and you three bring it up later in episodes. Please know for every bad comment, there are much more people who love your show and may not even say anything.
You guys literally make my week and I get so excited for Thursdays! I wish people wouldn’t “come for you” for the smallest things. It is an opinionated podcast! Even when I don’t agree with the points you make, I will love listening and be entertained. You all do such a great job of being real people, it feels like honestly you are friends with your listeners and we are just having a chat. You guys seem so realistic, in a world where a lot of stuff online is unrealistic.
I really just wanted to say I love the show, and I wish so much people understood that your “takes” on topics are just opinions. It isn’t like you preaching what is right and wrong. I feel for you guys so much when people comment mean things. I hope over time it has been easier to brush off what people say.
I can’t wait to see you all continue to grow and thanks for putting on such an entertaining show!
Thank you so much for the kind words
Totally agree with you there!
Completely with you on this!
Totally agree ❤
I couldn’t agree more!!!
i love that morgan yells “i can hear you” from the bathroom or wherever she was bc makes me feel like i’m at a sleepover
Did anyone else think the Tiny House was about power? If they sell OPs house and buy a Tiny House together, spouse is in better position financially right?
Omg true! + OP had the house before the marriage so it is not community property, it is OPs, But if either buy a house now it is community property in a divorce
without the gender, it really makes a difference. I usually side with the women because I understand them more as a girl myself. This ep was so interesting!! Also love how you promote the sponsors, it sounds so genuine ^^
To me it made no diference at all because all of them were pretty clear to me
And i was right every time
@@isacarral2736 okay and thats you but don't get cocky abt it
HEY LAUREN the 'annoyingly vocal' person is a god send for a overthinker like me. I often spiral into what someone isnt saying or the details they must be leaving out for whatever reason. I feel like having someone who is direct speaking their mind at all times is such a blessing. You would never have to guess if their was a hidden agenda or something deep they werent saying. Ugh to have a friend like you how cool.
Also Edit: GET THEM MORGAN lol just hit that rant go morgan go!!!!!
Speech language pathologist here! I hope they get that child speech therapy. Awesome they’re starting to babble dada and mama at 3 years old but…they should be producing simple sentences already🙂
Story 4: I’m unsure why they are like anti doctor intervention. Like the wife never got evaluated and it’s been 3 years ! And their child has a speech delay but it wasn’t mention if they have taken their child to get evaluated.
Wife probably didn’t want to, or might have gotten offended if op suggested it
Yay!! All three of them together!!!
The holy trinity
This was so good!
@@amiraking6688 Three musketeers. Powderpuff girls.
Okay for the first story…as a redhead I would find it so WEIRD if I looked identical to my significant other’s parent. It’s already so wild to have someone close to me also be a redhead BECAUSE we’re a dying breed haha but if I looked IDENTICAL and they called me mommy…absolutely not.
Yes!! All three together I've been wanting this for so loooong! This made my day!
Edit: This is such an interesting topic too! Also, an awesome distraction from my AITA post that currently is not going the way I want it to lol
Send the link ;)
I would like to hear Lauren’s thoughts uninterrupted ❤
Same!
Yes I felt so bad for her 🥲
We recorded for over 3 hours for this one 🙈 Lauren is real chatty on the two stories I cut for Patreon.
I’ve watched from the beginning and I NEVER realized the two co host were two different people I always thought they were the same perso. 🤣
I knew there were 2 but I'd forget which was which. I like them both anyway
No offense, but have you never seen/listened to any of the other episode where it's all 3 of them together?
Even though they introduce themselves at the start? 😂🤦🏼♀️ That’s so funny to me hahahaha
lmaooo 🤣
their voices are SO similar
As a step mom: in the beginning it was rough I’m not going to lie. It was bickering a lot in the beginning. We’re now at a time where everything we do is for our baby girl. I took her shopping for her moms Christmas present and we had hot cocoa and wrapped it. Last Halloween we baked cupcakes for her and cooked earlier this year too. When her birthday came around she was invited to the party and accidentally forget her price of cake. I brought the cake to her job because I wanted our daughter to see all 3 of us do it for her. When your with someone with kids they take priority always end of story. You cannot expect to get in the way.
I love Alejandra’s takes , she always seems to be collective and articulates her thoughts pretty well 🤍
Also Lauren saying “suck d***” and everyone reacting on that was hilarious
Poor Lauren.. she got cut off every time she tried to talk and you can see when she gave up.. 😢
1:19:49 this gave me a really off vibe. i know u guys try to be ally’s but this comes off as being a deflection from if you ever do slip up and make a bigoted statement that they wouldn’t count simply for speaking about gay/trans people in the stories. please keep an open mind as cishet women that allies still slip up
yes this is a good reminder! im glad they are open to call-ins and i appreciate that they are "when you know better, you can do better" learning types. I also appreciate your comment.
Yeah it kinda gave off mean girl vibes to me when she started yelling like that. It’s so hard because I love them and this podcast but she was a little rude
Yes, this whole part of the episode didn’t sit well with me.
I think to insinuate that, as a public figure, people don’t have the right to critique your takes as we should know your intentions is irresponsible. It is irrelevant your intension, everyone can make mistakes as there are often unconscious biases at play and should be called out for it. I’m not sure what comment your referring to but I think the most important part is how you react to these critiques even if you think they are wrong. You come across as defensive rather than being open to others perspective and experiences.
Ive worked in perinatal mental health in consulting and the partner has every right to feel upset about OPs friend being referred to as “mama/dada”. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s something more to it such as postpartum depression (which I know we can’t be certain). There’s this ideal that when you give birth you automatically feel connected to the baby, which is a narrative that I find so toxic. It’s more common than you think for parents to struggle bonding with the baby. Definitely these parents should be working as a unit or reaching out for professional help if there’s concerns. There are senior consultants and midwives that are trained in this, including sessions which help for bonding with baby. I understand though that this may not be available to all, which sucks. OP could of handled this differently. This must be so difficult for them and their feelings of frustration at the situation are valid, but saying to your partner that you haven’t been much of a parent as the friend has is so so hurtful. Anyway hopefully they can get the best support for them and their child.
Edit: happy that they have found a solution and divorced. Hopefully this resolution will make them both happier. Perinatal mental health for both mums and dads is such an overlooked issue.
Definitely a difference between mami and mommy BUT the fact that they look so similar would be a complete turn off for me regardless of how he’s saying it honestly.
I don't know, first language is Spanish and I answer "MAMIIIIIIIIIII" when my mom calls. My sister in law thinks it's cute and hopes her daughter does that when she's my age (early 20s)
@@katrinascarlet5637 as a baby or a child that’s definitely cute or nothing to seem weird but as a GROWN man? Idk id feel weird having a man call me mommy. I don’t speak Spanish but I’ve been called mami chula before which I know is also definitely different from just “Mom” or “mommy”
Wow I just realized they are two seperate people. Lauren and Alejandra are different people.
If someone calls me mommy...they're getting dumped. Nope! I ain't doing that! If I didn't birth you/Whatever I'm not your mommy.
If someone calls me daddy...I'm going to either feel butt ugly or I'm gonna start questioning things.
The first story has me messed up! Freud can't keep getting away with this! 😓
Story 4: I have a speech impediment that I will probably always have because I grew up in a time before free services. If my family wanted me to get evaluated it had to be through the school who did not want to have me evaluated for some reason. I have a stutter now that comes out when I’m stressed/relaxed and don’t slow down and properly process my speech. Get your kids evaluated for anything that feels off. Better safe than sorry.
Honestly, the way the stories are written give OP’s gender away every time! 😅
Im kinda upset with the take on the friend being called mom/dad. I feel like we completely neglected the fact the this has been years and op’s partner wasn’t just dejected but showed no interest in the child from the start. Keeping that in mind even if the dejection was at fault of postpartum depression if it’s been years and you haven’t even gotten checked out to see if it was depression you have a responsibility to yourself and your child to get help! And to a certain extent I completely understand the hardship of that however op seems to be putting all of themselves into helping to care for their child without the support of their partner, and the gang only speaks, in this scenario, about supporting your partner in the instance of op supporting their partner in their mental health but ops partner isn’t taking the proper steps for their mental health to be there for op or their child. Unfortunately, your mental health is your responsibility, and with a partner willing to help with the majority of the childcare and other responsibilities, you have less reason not to have already taken those steps. Op is also an asshole for saying that their friend is more of a parent than the partner, they helped create said child and in the instance ops partner was the one carrying the child he’s even more of an asshole however I don’t blame op for seeking solace in a person whom could support them in ways their partner can’t and although allowing your child to think of them as a parent is far fetched, in this instance I do feel that if the friend has stepped up in a way that was so impactful that the child sees them as a parent I think that is indicative of the disparity between the care the child is receiving from op’s friend vs op’s partner. I would hope they would find a way to fix things but op needs to be honest about how their feeling and op’s partner needs to get help with their dejection, both for the sake of the child. I don’t think it’s fair to say the friend is taking advantage of the friend or making them a pseudo isn’t fair because as we know the friend adores the child and sees it as an honor to be in such a role in the child’s development. All in all I think both of the parents suck and the friend is an angel for stepping up lol
100% agree on most aspects the fact that the child is calling another man 'dada' would be strange if he had his whole vocabulary but as stated he's got a speech delay so it might just be a case of he can't say the other persons name yet and dada is easier for the child but other than that I agree with you all the way!!
With the friend helping raise the child…once again, like the last story that was similar, what about the child? Should the parent shame te child for calling the friend a parent? Yell “no!” every time?
I have no disagreement that the estranged parent might have PPD. But I, with experience in mental health, need y’all to ask yourself, at what point does the mother have the obligation to get treatment for the sake of the child? I’d say that by the time the child is almost three, it’s time. She needs to get help because that kiddo is the one suffering now. Write this letter from the perspective of the child, who feels rejected by their parent. It’s time she gets help, if not for her, for that child.
I love this show. It’s just that once the baby is old enough to feel rejected, my concern goes to the child, not to the parent who is rejecting the child.
Imagine 15 years from now, what would that kid say?
Probably something like, “when I was little, my mom never wanted to be around me. I never felt loved by her. I know now, that she would have probably preferred not to be a parent. I know she probably had some PPD or mental health issues, but she refused to get treatment. I’m still dealing with our painful relationship today. I’m so, so lucky that my dad’s best friend helped raise me and was a second dad to me.” That’s just always how I look at it.
This is kinda how I felt about the other similar story in question. What Morgan and Alejandra+ a bunch of people on Reddit suggested the dad should do to get the mom and child closer,would just be punishing the child. Saying stuff like they suggested “ if mom can’t come ( this person you have essentially no relationship with) then there won’t be any Trick or treating. Putting that kind of pressure and responsibility on a small child just seem cruel to me
@@kokopuffs7618 I agree 100%.
@@kokopuffs7618 I grew up similar. I was constantly dragged into my parents arguments, and had a lot of pressure out on me especially if I was the “reason” my parents fought. for years, I thought it was normal but it’s all messed up looking back. I feel like Morgan really could’ve handled the take better.
@kokopuffs7618 do you know what episode the halloween/trick or treating story is in that they are referring to? I'm fairly new to two hot takes (since like January, but instantly a fan) and am so curious about it! 🎃
I don't think you all are homophobic, but there is a natural disconnect. There are things you all say in different context that just exhibits that you don't really understand that perpective, while it can be eh; it's not your lifestyle so there is going to be a disconnect there. It isn't a bad thing, especially because you all do want to be understanding and respectful of other people. You still have a lot of learning in that department, but I wouldn't chastise any of you for it. You know?
Going through school is difficult and I at times can feel alienated and alone. Your podcast is something I look forward to so much. You and father knows best have helped me through so much and helps me not feel so alone throughout the day ❤️ thank you!
Freud is cackling in his grave rn
Not only is it so hard to admit you didn't connect with your child when you carried and birthed that child, but it's hard because we fear the *exact* reaction that OP had. The fear is that we'll be looked at like a monster and they'll run away, and he DID. I'm not saying they should have stayed together, but the reaction to Matt being another parent shows how at war with herself Sam is. She likely already hates that she isn't naturally parental, and that probably twisted the knife. PPD will definitely make someone feel like life would have been better, so treating her lile she is a horrible person because of that is only going to make it worse. I hope she got help.
About the parent date night thing I'm 24 now so i definitely wouldn't call it "date night" but when I was younger we would go on "daddy daughter dates" or "mommy son dates" and i think we called it that because when our parents when on dates it was a "special date night" so calling it that made us as kids feel like we were also going on a cool date too😊
literally whenever i start to get kind of glum and notice that i can't listen to a single podcast amd no video is doing it for me... this is where i go. luv it
Alejandra, I relate so much to you. I am also a female who is not naturally maternal. I never had those instincts or desires growing up. In my teen years I never babysat, didn’t want to hold kids, never felt motherly etc. I told every guy I dated that I did not want kids. I even told my husband on our first date that if he wanted kids to date someone else, because it was not what I saw in my future. 10 years later, and two kids later, things obviously changed. I did feel pressure once I was married to have kids, it’s kind of a long story, I won’t go into. What I will say is, my husband was very supportive of not having kids if I did not want to. I think is really important for people to know how much this pressure to be maternal and have an instant bond affects women’s mental health after birth.
I ended up having severe postpartum depression with my oldest daughter, for years. The first year was the worst, I honestly don’t remember much because I was in such a dark place. I didn’t feel connected to my baby, and honestly relate to the woman in the story. I too did not get help, or a diagnosis until years later. My husband didn’t know what to do, and when you’re in that mental state, part of you doesn’t realize it and the other part feels like it physically can’t get help. It breaks my heart for the woman in the story, because it sounds like she was me. My husband could have easily been upset with how I acted and didn’t connect, but there was nothing I could do. I was literally just trying to stay alive. My husband did feedings, baths, bedtime, story time, he did everything. I didn’t resent my kids ever, and I absolutely love them. I now can’t imagine not being a mom.
My oldest is eight, and my youngest is five. the early years were extremely difficult, not just because they were babies, but because I felt such guilt and shame for not instantly feeling connected, maternal or motherly. I broke up with any man that said, maybe one day I would change my mind. That’s super rude and extremely one sided. Women should be respected for their decisions about their own bodies. If they decide they do not want kids, they should not be pressured into it, or Told they’ll change their minds. Some people choose to live happy and fulfilled kid free lives, and that is 100% OK. For me, it turned out well. But I know that I got lucky. Some people never recover from the depression of not feeling the things they thought they were supposed to feel when they have a baby. I came very close to ending my life, and I’m so thankful I didn’t but it could’ve been so much worse.
To anyone else who may be reading my comment, and maybe relate to my story currently, I urge you to summon every ounce of courage you have and make just a Teladoc appointment. They can prescribe medication‘s over the phone, you deserve to live a better life than this.
I honestly feel such a sense of community in the comments. This podcast brings us together.
On the last story, my sister had my nephew when she was still in college. So the three of us: her, my mom and I (also in college) were a team to take care of him. And as he started speaking he started calling us all "mom". It was really sweet but we set boundaries and corrected him. In my family it's tradition aunts and uncles get call by first name and grandparents are Mama/papa + first name. It was a habit that took a while to correct, but we got it. And even tho I'm honored that he so me as a mother figure, I'm not his mom I'm his aunt and he has a mom
I love the moment somewhere in the middle where Alejandra goes mom mode. It's funny she says she doesn't have maternal instincts, but her telling Lauren we need to start by getting a second estimate to fix your doors was definitely giving parent 😂
even though you ladies did not say the gender it was pretty obvious, I like the regular format where you read the stories as they are lol
The story of the child calling the best friend mom/dad made me think really hard. I’m divorced from my ex husband (children’s dad) and my best friend currently lives with me. My kids are a little older (7&4) but when my best friend moved in they were younger and they would call her mom sometimes. I personally did not feel offended or feel weird about it at all. However my ex husband got extremely annoyed when he heard them call her mom. I don’t understand what the issue is because they know she isn’t actually their mom but she has filled the role of the other parent since my ex and I got a divorce.
For the last story , I still think that you guys are biased . Especially because there's a chance of the mother having postpartum .
And I think you are missing a huge point . The baby calling another person mama means that she didn't form any emotional bond with her mother . And Even if mom is struggling with depression , it's still her responsibility to get help for that and try to build that bond . It's not her husband responsibility to try and form that bond between mom and baby . Working a lot isn't an excuse to not having that bond . She can form that bond in the times she is there . Like fathers have done that for ages . They both worked and had that bond with their kids . And mothers can do the same .
Father has a duty to protect his child physically and emotionally . To me him allowing his kid to call another person mom when the mom isn't emotionally there , is him emotionally protecting his kid .
And I don't understand why would she has a problem with the baby calling someone else did when they don't want to be a mom ?
This!!! I also don't understand why they approached this with the idea of a parent being "replaced." There CAN be a third parent! Parenting doesn't have to be a 2-person thing all the time. There can be multiple moms and multiple dads, and the girls acknowledge that the title is more than just in relation to biology.
Also: it's not confusing for children. Gay couples who have children often use different variations of mom or dad to help the child tell them apart. It's really not that hard.
I think you all should do an episode about looking in the mirror upon meeting the parents. The Freud thing is only partly about appearance- I think I remember learning that he thought people choose someone who looks like mom because we all are trying to find someone for a partner who will re parent us to fix the gaps in parental needs we grow up to feel weren’t filled or whatever. The odd look alike thing is some sideways try at that.. which I find extremely interesting. That would be a huge turn off for me.. imagine thinking you nabbed an awesome guy and get all the way to meeting the parents and when you see her, his mom could be your identical twin.
I said “you all” and it looks harsh. didn’t wanna say “you guys should..”and “you girls - gals - ladies..” looked stupid. And I’m from California, so I’m not gonna say ya’ll. 😇
Just hi! I’m a fan of your podcast. 🦄
I look like fiancé's parent story: This would be a major deal breaker for me. I would be constantly wondering if my partner was secretly fantasizing about doing physical activities with their parent, 100% since the mommy/daddy kink is in play. Regardless of gender it would still give me the ick, also if after they start gifting me clothing that they know their parent favors like the red hat, then it goes to specific types of shirts they like to wear.
OP should test this by doing something to slightly change their appearance just to see how their partner reacts. Say partner's parent has red hair, OP dyes it a different colour.
WAIT I commented that while they were discussing the post
This may be shaming but certain “kinks” for me are 100% deal breakers and the mommy/daddy kink is one of them. No one is calling me Mommy in bed, I would barf 🤢
Mami IS mommy… lmao
1:19:00
I don't think Morgan or any regulars are homophobic, but as a queer person myself, I can safely say it's so fucking infuriating when all your friendships are perceived as queer romantic ones.
That’s what I was thinking. I didn’t perceive it a homophobic but it definitely came off as a bit offensive. + them not even recognizing that they could’ve said something hurtful and just brushing it off as “ haters gonna hate” didn’t sit well with me
Yeah a wee bit defensive:/
So I understand you all have reputations to uphold and everything however please be mindful that even if you do love and care for gay and trans people you can still say and do things that are homophobic, not in this specific case but in general. Sometimes we say things that are ignorant or not politically correct without malintent however when we get called out the best thing we can do is apologize and try to do better. Love you all and this is not an attack, just something to keep in mind!
This!!! I’m just sad they just brushed it off as “ haters gonna hate” and not recognizing that they could've said something offensive or hurtful.
Lmao the girls looking at eachother when Morgan gave the last genders away with “got pregnant” and “breastfeeding”
PATHOLOGICAL LIAR EPISODE PLSPLSPLS inspired by my recent and worst experience ever. I submitted a personal write in on the sub reddit, my suggestion was “pathological liar” episode. My personal wrote in was called “I swear I’m not hallucinating” I dmed you guys on reddit as well with the story. Would love to hear your guys’ opinion on the most fucking bizzare thing that’s ever happened to me and my experience with a pathological liar. Love the podcast.
For the calling the friend dad/mom story, it feels like OP is punishing their partner for struggling mentally. They literally admit they weren’t planning on having a kid this early.
Yes! This story pissed me off so much. So disrespectful of op to basically strip the other parent of their title because they struggled, and parenting didnt go the way they wanted.
Ugh yeah! The whole time I was just thinking the partner needed help! They were clearly depressed.
@@morgannelson1590 Not even necessarily stripped of the title, since the genders were revealed. On a technical level, the OP was sharing their own title of "dad" with their friend, while the partner was still the one and only "mom". The friend was definitely filling a void, but at the same time, the value that the friend could offer to the child doesn't necessarily replace what the mom could offer.
This!!! It seems like the poster got pissed because the parenting didn't come as easy to the partner as they thought it should and instead of trying to help them get help they emotionally abandoned them
I’m late to hearing this story but I was fuming! Why hasn’t their partner gotten help for their postpartum and is then punished for it! It all seemed fishy and disrespectful to me ..
“Go touch some grass” 😂😂😂 Morgan I love your energy!! I love the episodes with the three of you so much 😊
Morgan, I will say, in regards to your first story: I always thought your brothers wife looks just like you lol
I’M GLAD I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THIS OMG-
@@fromsami OMG HAHA nope my husband thinks so too! we were like ... weird. haha
I wonder if Morgan looks like her mom 😂
Wait.... What? I don't why, but I always asume SHE was her sister 🤯
@@laurapriego6595 NO WAY! haha. but i can see why. they look so alike.
With the cake story, I do think the baker is the asshole. The new partner is setting a boundary - the kids could make something else for them and explain to the children that they're already getting a cake! Could make cookies even!!!
I don’t think y’all are homophobic AT ALL but it’s always good to be receptive to people telling you to be mindful of the way you talk about stories featuring LBGTQIA+ people, and recognize that it should be the default to feature us in stories because we are people who exist. In my opinion you weren’t being homophobic but it can be a tough line when you are used to having the love you experience be seen as inherently comedic. Keep in mind that when you are the butt of the joke your whole life there will be a twinge of pain when you think a creator you like is doing it also, and y’all wouldn’t necessarily know that from your own experiences. I truly love this pod and the power trio y’all were this episode💜 I would love more longer episodes with all three of you please!!
For the last story: don't think OP is the asshole for not correcting the three-year old with a speech-delay. Could be happy that the child is finally starting to speak. And the fact that it could be confusing for a kid to have 2 persons with the same title is nonsense. Some have 2 moms or 2 dads anyways and lots of kids have 2 grandmothers and 2 grandfathers. However OP is the asshole for saying that friend was more of a parent than her partner when trying to work things out tho
Absolutely.
With the third story, this is my take. I own my own home and I would never agree to a tiny house!!! It's my house and I would never let my partner rob me of it.
My husband gave me a whole *ss room to put all my hobby stuff into. Candlemaking, art, wax stamping, sewing, plants, everything and he even built shelving for me. He knew who he married so he made sure I'd have my own craft room.
For some reason I get this sinking feeling that in the last story with the kid, we a missing a vital piece of information of weather or not the Mother was on BC and it failed, or if a condom broke, tracking or they truly were just not using any protection. Because I feel like that is what determines to me or most if that pregnancy was forced. Even if you want kids in the future you can still be forced to have kids too soon, thus leading to it be coercion. Because once you find out there isn't a lot of time to be like no not now if your married. The pressure from another parent and society can be over whelming. Even if he didn't outwardly do things to get her pregnant without her knowing, he absolutely sat next to her and whispered in her hear all the things he needed to to make sure she had the baby/kept the baby. Depending on where she lives, their religious background, etc. It shows a lot of insensitivity on his point, that she was terrified to have a baby and then it came and all her fears where confirmed and now they are getting divorced. Having a baby when you're not ready is never a good thing and will almost always end badly.
51:25 Morgan: “I CAN HEAR YOU!” 🤣 almost snarfed my Gatorade
Hands up if you've already listened to the whole episode on Spotify, but you're here again to see the three lovely Musketeers together. 🙋 Just me, no one else? That's cool too.
PS. Love the podcast, so entertaining and it really feels like you girls are bringing us along in the conversations, great job. Keep it up!
I remember a great episode of scrubs where Carla realizes she has a lot of extreme similarities to Turks mom and when she confronts her about it, she's horrified and turns to leave. Then he asks her why he wouldn't love a woman that made him feel safe, loved, and comfortable in the way his mom taught him he deserved to be, and I always loved that episode actually! I thought it was sweet. I think maybe some people seek attention from partners that remind them of their parents because they were neglected and feel like they need that love, and some people seek partners that remind them of their parents because they want to model the kind and loving relationship they got to witness growing up. And I don't think either inherently makes or breaks a relationship fundamentally. Idk though,,, in this particular case, if I was that convinced it was sex thing and that upset about it, I'd probably bounce 💀
1:18:30 I will start off by saying I love you guys and I don’t think you’re a homophobe Morgan. But something good to remember is that just because you’re not a homophobe , it does not make you immune to say or do homophobic stuff.
I felt a little iffy about the story in question as well and how you and Alejandra very easily made assumptions.( which , yeah were a little offensive honestly and made me sigh a bit ) but don’t take the critique as a personal attack on your character, take it as a reminder that you’re not perfect and can still make mistakes✌️
I will say though, not even recognizing that you could have said something wrong or hurtful, you’re not making it any easier on yourself. It doesn’t matter that “ we should know you guys by now” or that “those who really know you know your hearts”. You said what you said it doesn’t matter what intentions you had. +The “ haters gonna hate” kinda talk you also had does not look good in this scenario.
I’ve been waiting for this
Edit: “I’m doing what’s best for the family” Your friend’s families are miserable
Edit: OP owns the house, the guy never talked to them before calling a REALTOR, it’s 225 square feet on average and OP says the other friends are MISERABLE
Listening to the story about the mother who ended up not wanting her children makes me sad. Sad for her, sad for him, sad for the child. But ultimately, this sounds like the best scenario. I have four sisters, all half sisters. All of our various parents wanted children and I do believe they love us very much, however love is no enough to be a parent. They all had different ideas of what parenting would be like and what their children would be like, none of it matched up to reality, at least not fully. None of them handled it well. Some liked us when we were small but not when we were preteens and teens. One had major mental issues and becoming a mom didn't solve that, it made it worse. One wanted to be a distant father, but still fully respected and loved as an involved one. Also many of our parents suffered from addiction and trauma. I'm not saying people can't work on that and become good parents, I'm saying ours didn't.
We also saw how miserable our parents were for different reasons. They tried, that wasn't the issue. The issue was that their best wasn't enough. That doesn't make them bad people, just people who shouldn't have been parents.
It led to me (oldest sister) having many serious conversations with my sisters throughout our lives about making sure we wanted to be parents. Not just wanting kids, but wanting to be PARENTS and understanding everything that's involved in that. From labor to finances to children having mental health or disability issues to your children being someone very different from you. Only one of the four of us have decided to have children. Multiple family members have said I have scared them away from being parents. As a child who had parents who loved us but didn't like us or still resented us or thought they were entitled to our feelings -sometimes all three, I believe it is important to the person and potential child to not make that decision lightly.
Lmao my ex was jealous of my dog (who I’m obsessed with). She was insecure and abusive. My next partner had dogs of her own she was obsessed with and therefore we meshed better lol. She didn’t yell at me for spending too long at the dog park or out walking. She understood my dog came first and hers did too. I know it’s not kids, but, my only relatable experience 😅
I must say this was not my favorite...not being mean just try constructive criticism
For the story about the kid calling the friend “mama”, I honestly disagree with you all. I’m a mama to two kids, and this child isn’t even 3. They don’t necessarily understand their words and what they’re speaking (generally). This person presumably raised this child with the father, even though mom was still in the picture. They’re also just learning to talk due to speak delays, so at this point, they’re simply just babbling. I can 100% understand the mom being upset, but the way she reacted is just not the way she should have. She should have explained her feelings, and asked her husband to talk to the friend, and also both of them sit and explain things to their child as simply as possible. I don’t necessarily think OP is an asshole, and I don’t necessarily think the friend is either. I just think boundaries are being miscommunicated and the poor child shouldn’t be in the middle of it.
Personally I think they should have been allowed to babble to develop their speech, I think that detail got lost in the throng of info for them to unpack here. But the communication between the partners wasn’t where it needed to be. It kind of felt like the OP was almost feeling like it was payback? That’s too strong a word, but OP clearly has a tad of resentment for the person who gave birth and that’s where I would consider it asshole-y.
When my twins were little and not talking much, they called me Mama and my mom Uma. I could always tell the difference but lots of people thought it was crossing boundaries. But they just couldn’t say Grandma yet, and she really was our support system and basically their other parent. It’s different because they did grow out of it as they learned more words, but I always loved it. I also had no issues with my kids calling their new stepmom some form of mom, but their dad did so they use her first name or say stepmom. I offered ideas (mom in another language, bonus mom, etc.) but I was the only one okay with it. I know I’m their mama, and nobody could ever threaten that for me.
I 100% watch for Lauren. Her takes are refreshing.
About the Mommy/Mami thing, mami is basically mommy in Spanish, but it is just also a term used to refer to women like a term of endearment
1:19:28 Ok so I understand defending yourself, but I do think doubling down so hard is a little silly. People aren’t exempt from doing harmful things and sometimes we say things that we don’t realize can be harmful! Also cancel culture is super shallow at best, I don’t think a cast of white* women are gonna have their careers disassembled unless they do outright say some dumb shit. Even after saying insidious shit, people still live long and bountiful lives.
obvi not saying that ya’ll are spewing heinous shit, but it’s easy to catch yourself in an echo chamber when you’re with the homies
(*cast of peers are almost entirely white)
Story 4: I’m pretty sure OP taught the child to refer to the friend and mama/dada. Simple because usually parents introduce the name to the child.
definitely allowed it and its a reflection of their relationship w both their partner and this "friend". HIGHLY inappropriate, def the a-hole
For the last one I can’t help but to feel like…. You’re married. You noticed your partner is in a depressive state or not in the best mental health and decided to wait this long to have a conversation… I think OP is just as guilty for why that conversation took so long. It felt like OP tried to pass blame off as it was the partner’s job to bring up the conversation… but again I can’t help but to feel that OP took the baby to their friend and left the partner behind in both mental health and as a partner/coparent. Aside from the partner, the baby is having a delay in speech. Why is it taking so long to seek outside help for these things?
Idk. Maybe it was so stressful for OP they didn’t want to add more to their plate… but the way the post was worded feels like they just up and left mentally. How were they both so out of touch with each other in a marriage?
Hi, I really like this podcast but the mention of/ response to people in past episodes calling you homophobic put a really sour taste in my mouth. You can’t just say “you guys know me” and call it a day. Queer people and allies can also say/do homophonic things by mistake. It happens. “I’m an ally and I highlight queer stories” is not an excuse, your past statements can still have been perceived as homophobic. Just own up to it and apologize next time.
I feel like Lauren was treated unfair in this episode. She was dismissed and interrupted a lot and you can tell her demeanor retrieved thru the episode. Maybe she’s used to it, but hope she’s ok❤️
I think you might be reading to deeply into it. They are best friends, Morgan and Lauren (not sure about Alejandra) both have ADD/ADHD so interruptions are always going to happen and it's never malicious or intentional, it just happens. As they said they had long days at work so maybe she's tierd, who knows, but they're all always treated equally in every episode so rather look at the pattern of treatment Xx all the best to Lauren anyways.
come ON ... people in the comments wanna read sooo much into these interactions.. as if they're not adults, friends, work partners - they know each other way better than we do ;)
Agreed
@@7thCobweb you can be bestfriends with people and still sometime feel that way... it doesn't mean it's bad or that they're doing it on purpose but it can happen. I think Lauren is someone who is more herself and has more presence when there is only 2 of them (I relate)
Lauren, I had no damn clue who Julia Fox was either 😂😂 ahhh I love the three of y’all together!!!
I love the concept for this episode!! I had a feeling the first one was gendered the way it was… I feel like I hear more emotional incest stories going that way instead of the other way around. Also can I say all three of you are looking so pretty in this ep!
Same I loved the concept but I would have enjoyed it more if the genders were at all surprising. I feel like each role in the story kind of fell into stereotypical gendered reactions, so it was easy to guess and already have that image in your head as you listened.
Would be fun to do this again but with less expected roles.
@@BunnieOfDestruction good point! that would make it more fun
Lmao in the tiny home story I was like “yeah that’s definitely a man” and then when you guys made that same comment I was like SEE YOU GET IT 😂 and we were right
So, with the first story I’m a little skeptical. As a redhead I am told ALL the time that I look just like someone’s (fill in the blank). When in all reality the only similarity they just also have red hair. But maybe it’s real weird.
For the first story - As a curly-haired redhead myself, I get told that I look like basicly every redhead that I come into contact with. People often mistake my brother in-law for my actual brother, and we look nothing alike, we just both have red hair. Going out with my redheaded friend usually involves at least one stranger asking if we're sisters or twins. I would think this situation was weirder if the fiance and parent had any other defining feature, but from my own experience, everyone thinks that we look related.
I would like to say on the tiny house one, I’m a single 21 yo with no dependents other than cats so it’s incredibly affordable for someone like myself to build a tiny home, and my parents were gracious enough to let me use their land so it’s affordable, close to home, easily managed, and I’m still technically living on my own but my parents are right next door. I’m certain cases tiny homes are great for 1-2 people but understandably not every family unit can be accommodated.
aw no i relate to morgan, I stopped calling my dad Daddy because of all the weirdness in the media about it :( I don't think he cares lol he's always referred to himself and my mum by their names when talking to us, he never really did the whole 'mum/mummy said this' thing that my mum does.
I'm home with covid, I'm so happy you just posted a new video 💕love you guys
I hope you're feeling okay
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Awh shit.. this shall be life changing! Thank you
I would've said around the family when they kept bringing it up "that's it baby, you're not allowed to call me mommy anymore" and laugh. Play it off as a joke but set a boundary lol
Only 11 mins in and I’m already laughing so hard at the fact Morgan thought the guy would shit his pants. My favorite podcast
Red heads in general share a lot of characteristics though. Pale skin, freckels, blue eyes, the shade of red is doesn't vary as much as other hair colours
Lauren is my favorite 😂❤️👏🏼 we all need a Lauren!!!
Can we get a Lauren podcast please 🙏🏻