41 Hilarious Lines From "Archer"
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- Опубликовано: 21 авг 2024
- Holy shitsnacks!
Welcome to Next of Ken and in this episode, we're counting down 41 Hilarious Lines From "Archer." With quality animation, excellent writing, and outstanding voice-acting, it's easy to see why Archer is such a phenomenal show. And every episode is filled with clever dialogue and witty humor that'll be quoted for years to come. So here's a few of our favorite lines from the show.
What was your favorite "Archer" quote? Let us know in the comments below!
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Left out my favorite:
Cyril: "Lanaaaa!"
Lana: "I'm coming, Cyril!"
Archer: "Bet that's the first time you ever said that."
But isnt Cyril supposed to have like a huge dick.
LMFAO
Alejandro Legra ......dick envy........be careful there is a very thin line between dick envy and dick love......
Phrasing boom!
Bakhsy_B 17
Shit! I was gonna say that.
I love how organic the dialogue is, it does genuinely sound like a bunch of immature adults where pushed into a room together 😂
That room is called a recording booth:)
@@simonfrederiksen104 They do their recordings separately. I think Archer, Lana, and Cheryl record theirs in LA, Figgis and Mallory in NYC, and Pam, Krieger, and Ray in Atlanta.
But, you know, you could've just replied facetiously, so if you are.... bawk bawk.
on the other hand, without context, it doesn't work very well.
ArtisticPixie office comedy
They’ll all meet up a couple of times each year, and the way they interact seems like they really know each other.
On the other hand, they also just sound excited when talking about the show. Adam Reed writes every single episode, so it’s almost like a group of fans talking about a show they really love. Completely different personalities, though. Lucky Yates (Kreeger) is the only one who actually behaves like his character when they’re all together doing an interview.
I love how Kieger’s first ever line on the show was “I call him Fisto Roboto.” In that one line we already know what Krieger is all about. 😂
That was his first line!?
But we knew he was a food rapist from the very first glimpse
@slumadiangoon9140 I'm old but I think I heard "Fister Roboto" a reference to the early 80s Styx song "Mr. Roboto"
@@jaydawg7pretty sure you’re right! (I’m old as well 😂)
How is "he died doing what he loved... getting shot." Not on the list?
Trueeeeeee
"Man, I wish he was still with us. He could soak up some of these bullets."
I know, right?
Rip Brett😂
RIGHT?!?!
Lana: “Are you coming?”
Sterling: “No, but I’m breathing fast”
lolololol
I swear I've been saying this for a LONG time.
An oldie but a goodie.
Phrasing
i dont get it pls help
Heh, get it?
Malory: "Most secret agents don’t tell every harlot from here to Hanoi that they ARE secret agents!"
Archer: "Then why be one?"
😂😂😂 ROFL
Sterling Archer, World’s Greatest Spy.
Agent Galahad: You probably shouldn’t tell people you’re a Spy…
Then what’s the point of being one?
AG: Fair enough
Hunh
@cunningsmile4166 I think he's referencing the animated crossover with the Kingsmen but the short film/commercial/bumper promo I saw had Eggsy not Galahad.
*Chicken clucking*
"Don't judge me...food."
That line cracks me up every time.
Dan Lather. 😂
lol "cracks" like an egg haha 😂
Lana: Is your apartment baby-proofed.
Archer: Come on, Lana... I don't think a baby's gonna hurt anything.
"He's had the clap so many times more like an applause" my new go to burn for now on
vanittah mwangi I know I'm an idiot, but then, could you explain it to me
Sharwan Dsouza Gonorrhea is sometimes referred to as the 'clap'.
One of those golden lines i always forget, which is great because every time i hear it i laugh harder lmao
Literally a burn
Sharwan Dsouza he's fucked lots of woman basically
"I'm spooning a 50 cal. I could kill a building."
Jay H followed shortly thereafter by "Oh my God, maybe I am autistic"
That was the funniest shit
*Barrett* 50 cal. 1:07
Barrett m107
PHRASING BOOM got em
"And since when do you carry a switch blade?"
"It's a long story, Mother!"
*Sees knife in display case*
"Neat."
Neat.
Need?
@@julebrants5168 its neat
@@julebrants5168 it's a long story
It would be my reaction too😂😂
"Cyril shut your pout-hole, accept the fact that Lana was so far out of your league that impregnating her would've basically been inter-species breeding, and get on with your life!"
How did this not make the cut?!? I havent laughed that hard in the whole series!
Raven2389 That was awesome!
SAVAGE!
Woah hold archer slept with Lana?
@@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681 well..yes? Before the series they were a couple (which is mentioned several times) and she slept with him when he had cancer
9
"Woodhouse? We got any lube?! Like at this point even olive oil would..."
*Malory sighs*
"...help me get that drawer unstuck"
🤣🤣🤣
🤣
Did you know that if you made a supercut of all hilarious lines from 8 seasons of Archer, you'd just end up with the full 8 seasons of Archer?
It seriously is such a good show!
unpopular opinion but li season of archer is bad. in fact i do t think any are average. obviously i enjoy some more than others but this show has been consistently phenomenal for over a decade!
“He’s had the clap so many times it’s more like an applause”
That is, hands down the best thing I’ve heard.
"Grover Cleveland called, he wants his watch back. He left two non-consecutive messages." It's missing from here but the fact that this show had a joke based on an obscure bit of history trivia makes me so happy.
Can you explain it to a non Yankee?
@@MsCamo2Grover Cleveland is the only president to serve two non-consecutive terms. Technically he was the 22nd and the 24th president.
@@evanp-f642 thanks!
Simpsons had a joke where Grandpa said he was spanked by Grover Cleveland on two non-consecutive occasions lol
Pam: “Did you hear that?”
Cheryl: “Who do you think it is?”
Malory: “Immigrants! That’s how they do, you know. Just drive around, listening to the raps and shooting up all the jobs!”
comgeek24 "shooting up all the jobs",funny
One of my top 3
That was the most Old Person thing she’s ever said.
comgeek24 the funniest part.....is it’s coming FROM an immigrant😂😂
Odd, if I close my eyes I can see my dead grandfather saying that.
"R2 double D2"
The best line
For sure one of the best!
Nice!
R2 double D2?!?! I love it... L.m.a.o.
Brent: “what the hell is wrong with you!?”
Archer: “Me? Nothing. You, on the other hand, have a BULLET inside of you!”
Arguably my favorite line
"I'm sorry are you addressing me?"
"Cause your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass"
"Is Germany the Alabama of Europe?!"
I mean probably.
Very timely
In many ways, yes.
Considering all the rape, incest babies, and religious fanaticism due to their new diversity population, yes.
John Clark damn
Mallory: " since when do you carry a switch blade?"
Archer: "it's a long story mother!"
*sees it in the shop window*
Archer: "neat!"
I lost it 😂
Finished binge watching all 11 seasons yesterday and now there's a huge void inside me that temporarily cannot be filled.
Now there is a new one
Phrasing
"To a zone, that's one of danger."-Sterling Archer
That is*
"Sorry I tried to spitroast your mom"
Only in archer will you ever hear those words be uttered
The Lilac Alien Seeing that line in text form made me appreciate the true genius of it
That hot tub scene should have made the cut.
Well... I don't want to tell you're wrong but....
Clearly, you have never lived in a D1 college town :P
r/brandnewsentence
I'm sorry but how is Woodhouse's iconic: "TRIPPING BALLS" not here?
Woodhouse! RIP...
“Sir that Lemur bit one of your prostitutes right in the face and she can’t go to hospital because shes quote tripping balls.”🤣
I love that line!
Easily one of the best lines in the series
“It’s gonna be an itchy weekend..”
Mallory- "Let me be first to offer you my condolences."
Archer- "And let me be the first to welcome you back to the dating pool!"
XD
"You blew me off for Katja the big titted cyborg! Little miss, uh..."
"R2 Double D2?"
"Heh, nice!"
Hehe nice
I didn't get it 😞
@KennedyMister95 star wars!
"He's had the clap so many times it's more like applause."
I woke up my roommate is laughed so hard!!
Will Fikes oh gawd lol
That line should have been higher on the list. So funny lol
Can you explain that to me
@@eyyo3571 an STDs called gonorrhea is called the clap
@@eyyo3571 "The clap" is slang for chlamydia (a sexually transmitted disease). When there's lots of clapping, it's applause. Hence the play on words.
Malory: if I wanted a grandchild, I’d scrape together all of your previous mishaps and knit it a onesie for it.
I thought that was one of the funniest line in tv
That's the best one. Never laughed harder.
Whoever comes up with the dialogue for this show is a freaking god!
Some of the best comedic dialogue and voice acting in TV/streaming history imo. Disgustingly funny.
I'm not a SERIAL killer....
Chris Dishneau why did you emphasise Serial 😂🤣
Chris Dishneau krieger, who routinely experiments on everyone? Pam will help anyone with anything. She genuinely tries to give cierel relationship advice. Really their all awful in their own special ways. I would argue that kreiger is one of the worse. He brags about using drugs to have sex with coworkers.
DCorleone Ferelence umm well I have to um... did I tell h there’s a surprise in my van
SMOKE BOMB!!!
Why did you emphasise "serial"
"I called him fister roboto" I died laughing.
Tech Neo014610 so did I so did I lol
"Yes the se- WHAT?"
But it doesn’t just fist
Beinoit!
Balls!
*Fisto Roboto
Every single one of these is why this show had some of the best dialogue creators ever. This is genuinely one of the greatest comedy shows ever written
"Let me be the first to offer my condolences."
"And let me be the first to welcome you back into the dating pool."
Coke Pam was bangin'.
Absolutely!
I beg to differ. Massive Jawline
Nobody's perfect, massive jawline, crippling addiction to coke, these things happen.
Meme Iselfaneye I tap that
Agreed.
Sterling: "Dammit Cyril you just killed a perfectly good hooker!" Cyril: "Call girl" Sterling: "No Cyril hooker when they're dead there just hookers !! "
My favorite!
They’re*
Right up there with "Sorry I tried to spit-roast your mom."
Agreed
Why can’t I get a job and be as open and direct as this??
Archer's had the clap so many times it's more like applause."
One of the best lines ever.Rather shocked that Woodhouse's line "She's quote....tripping balls." didn't make the cut.
“if i find one single doghair im going to rub sand in your dead little eyes” best quote
"And George, grab my luggage!" "Mallory, you can't call him that!" "Actually, my name IS George." *Lana and Mallory* "Really?"
Mallory- "What is it with those people and reefers."
Lana-"by those people do u mean musicians or negros."
Malory-" Pick one"
Not A Meth Dealer
necrons.
Not A Meth Dealer We meet again.
I will not bring that woman a salad. Cobb or other wise.
Greatest........show......ever.......
nah
Used to be! It's kinda backslid lately.
The most recent season was disappointing
dr krieger is the only reason i ever watched the show
My 2nd favorite FX show
1.Its always sunny in phili
2. Archer
3.Louie
"He's had the clap so many times it's more like applause."
"For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry god. Bloody Mary, full of Vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
"I'm spooning a 50 cal. I could kill a building."
Top 3 ever.
“Sorry I tried to spit roast your mom”
One of the best lines ever
Out of context it is even better
Dont judge me........food
Tiger! Yes!
I don't care how much it costs. They should have a new episode every week.
Agreed. I love this show. But with Woodhouse, Mallory and even Ron Cadillac gone the show may tank.
It already tanked after season 5 due to getting a bit stale and then they switched studios. On top this major actors have sadly passed away. The show's glory days are long past. The first five seasons are absolutely amazing though. @@Ken9284
My favorite:
Krieger: "I was wondering..."
Ray (in wheelchair): "A bag Krieger. I piss and shit in a bag!"
Krieger: "Me too!"
Wish you'd included that episode where Mallory was saying she was about to go get a seaweed wrap and Ray just mutters "Didn't know they made sushi with dried clams" LMAO that is still my favourite burn to date!
It's not a complete list without Benoit. Balls.
Nailed it.
or "Phrasing!"
Or "Nice read, Velma."
What about “SUPRESSING FIRE (EXTINGUISHER)!!!!!”?
YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!!!
the dane cook of martial arts
Well he is the karate of stand up comics.
"This must be what it's like to have sex with me!"
"How could a speed boat be selfish?" Ha hhhhh!
Cheryl: Who the hell drilled my box?
Archer: So are we just done with phrasing? Is that no longer a thing?
Lana
Lana
LANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
RUclipsr WHAT
Love it
Sweaty balls in the Desert sky’s (quietly) Danger Zone!
WHAT!?
MuntantMinotaur 097 Hi 👋
OMG the line about Archer's clap killed me!
old4mat That’s why you don’t use a candy bar wrapper as a condom.
When I first heard the "what is this, a chair factory?" Line I laughed so hard because I actually thought that as he was getting hit 😭
Disappointed you missed "He thinks he's people"
With Woodhouse or baboo?
I think it was with the dog in Morocco Kazak. And my favorite was when he was like “Who’s a son of a bitch?” Hahahaha!!!
With Woodhouse just saw that episode
Best one is "You want me to call about our bonuses when I'm suction cupped to a building 30 floors up!?"....."Yeah, you should have 5 bars!"
David Heilman Lana "did you really climb all this way to see what my bonus is" Archer "no i climbed here sarcastically" 🤣
04:40-04:44-“He’s had the clap so many times, it’s more like applause!”
“Uh, what was that?”
Archer: slams Mallory’s desk shut
*bzzzzzzz*
Gilette: “Not as funny as that.”
Archer: “No...”
G: “Yeah.”
A: “No!”
G: “Not a bumblebee, is it?”
OH GOD, THERE’S NO SINK!!!!
I’m so afraid of when this show will end. This show is my go to in order to relax and make me feel better - rewatching the seasons over and over
It’s up to us as fans to give support and ask for more they might ignore a couple hundred thousand of us but not millions of us as archer would say are we all out of boos all ready 😂aka make more seasons
R.I.P. Jessica Walter 🕊
Can you do one with just various Krieger quotes?
Easily my favorite character.
“Me too!”
ME TOO!!!
That will do Pigsly, that will do
"Smoke bomb"
Noooooo, are you literally insane?! Lol!
“Oh, hello, airplanes? It’s blimps. You win.”
“It’s like... meowschwitz in there.”
"Im a desirable full bodied woman and no one will have sex with me. AND I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIIIVE."
Tevatinn x (sigh) Get on the desk.
I was recuperating from surgery a couple years back and this show was on a lot. I nearly burst my sutures several times.
"you underestimate my liver's ability to process toxins" I've used that one
Pam: I mean, how do you not murder her every day?!
Krieger:.....I do
French Waiter: I apologise madam...
Malory: For what? Dunkirk? Or that effeminate yet condescending tone?
The chair factory line cracked me
"Holy shit snacks!" I want that on my gravestone when I pass away.
Can we have a moment for Krieger, and the fact that the very first line he ever speaks in the show is;
"I call him 'Fister Roboto'"
"What is it the Alabama of Europe" Lmaoo
Desperadoosh M Germany.
Desperadoosh M LOL
Americans have a very different mindset to europeans. Here a 19 year old dating a 16 year old is not considerd weird, i told that some american friends and they were like did you call the cops lol xd
@@foty8679 merica... Where at your 16 can drive 8000cc road legal dragster, get your ass blown in some forsaken country in need of "freedom", but God forbid if you want a sip of weak as water beer before your 21 years...
Bloody mary full of vodka blessed are you amongst cocktails...priceless
It's a dang soliloquy.
Definitely in my top 10 of favorite all times quotes
So many great lines from this show. Truly a masterpiece.
OMG archer is a punchline gold mine. Thank you Adam Reed, humanity needed Archer. I needed Archer in my life
What about "Grover Cleveland called: he wants his pocket watch back. He left two non-consecutive messages"?
"This was my grandfather's, you ass!"
James Bond he's not...but got more puns.
Actually, he's more Bond than you think. Read Ian Flemings original novels, he's very much like that Bond.
kirby march Barcena he is an accurate satire of bond. Bond loves a drink, archer is a drunk. Bond is a womanizer, archer is a hoe. Bond calls his boss mom, archers boss is his mom.
Oh heck yeah, the nicest Bond has ever been to people was in the Young Bond novels and that series kinda explains his whole personality as an adult. And why he shows almost no care for risking his own life.
Ma'am actually, he say's Ma'am, the accent makes it sound like mom. Same thing happens with Jorge and Dr. Halsey in Halo Reach.
deathlegionair big Bond fan huh? Lol
"Immigrants! That's how they do, you know. Just drive around, listening to raps and shooting all the jobs!" 🤣
packing their low riders with free healthcare and....snow
Makes perfect sense that most of the lines are said by Archer, he's just that funny.
Archer: That’s how you get ants!
Mallory: Yaaaay!
*Lana
Are we still doing phrasing?
Eeyup
The Comedy is actually intelligent with their jokes and not childish asf like most are which is why I love archer there jokes are actually funny
And smart
"just drive around listening to raps and shooting all the jobs"🤣🤣🤣
"I call him Fister Roboto"
Lost it there XD
Great list but I can't believe not one of the great Pam vs. the kidnappers made the list.
Ohhhhh yeah....
Maybe ask your daddy for a roll of nickels
“Hey are there more towels? Hey are there more towels? Hey are there more towels?”
-Krieger
How is this line not in there?
" Lana come on it's North Korea the nation-state equivalent of the short bus"
DANGER ZONEEEEEE!
I love when archer laughs before annoying someone. Shows that he knows EXACTLY what hes doing lmfaooooo
I love the way Kruger laughs slightly when he says I call him Fisto Roboto....
"What is it, the Alabama of Europe?"
😂😂😂 that's my favorite one
That one took me off guard🤣
Bob.... Bob Belcher is that you?
bbria28 yep!
Archer became Bob in an archer episode for a bit...
YASS!!! I've been waiting for you to do this! 😍
Cause how hard is it to poach a goddamn egg?
“……I also need you to go buy sand” definitely has to be one of my favorites
I don't know if they grade it, but if they do......
Coarse.
“What is it? The Alabama of Europe?”
That fucking got me 😂
I started watching this show in 2015 and when I saw how Archer pisses off Lana by saying, "Lana...Lana...LANA!!!!!!!!!!!!" it made me laugh so hard because I use to do that to a girl I use to work with. Whenever I had to tell her something and she was busy, I would stand next to her and say, "Nicole. Nicole. Nicole." I would stare at her till it drove her insane. Every time that Archer does that, it always brings a smile to my face.
This show was the first show that actually got me to empathize with the characters and feel for them, amazing writing
"It's like...meowschwsitz in there." Aahhh beautiful.