5 Social Skills SECRETS that Make You Attractive AF

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  • Опубликовано: 21 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 276

  • @clarkkegley
    @clarkkegley  Год назад +51

    Ready to create the 2.0 you? Click here to completely reinvent yourself in 10 weeks and personally get coached by me. ➡ www.clarkkegley.com/free-case-study?sl=yt-social-secret (no sign-up required)

  • @dream-nz9yb
    @dream-nz9yb Год назад +897

    Also, stop trying to force a “connection” with everyone! Be kind and genuine. If you’re desperately trying to find something in common, it’s really obvious and not attractive. Especially to anyone who has read the book that all of this advice came from.

    • @Pbcvl
      @Pbcvl Год назад +5

      book name?

    • @dream-nz9yb
      @dream-nz9yb Год назад +33

      @@Pbcvl how to win friends & influence people

    • @Virvepaulina
      @Virvepaulina Год назад +4

      Yess!! Find your own peeps 🧡

    • @railanna
      @railanna Год назад +4

      @@dream-nz9yb omg this book it's amazing

    • @miracles424
      @miracles424 Год назад

      This guy teaching how to get people addicted to you and to like you and im in 20 seconds in the video and I hate him and hate his mouth and his teeth and his eyes are annoying 😫😫😫😫🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ this guy in the video is not attractive asf and I’m blocking him bye

  • @amberbiggs
    @amberbiggs Год назад +219

    Drawing attention to similarities between you and the other person is a big one for strengthening connection. Also, having your own hobbies/fun things you enjoy doing, and then talking about those things makes you so much more interesting of a person to talk with. You come off energized and like you are actually awake in life, not just going through the motions of work/eat/sleep.

  • @maggieborek8499
    @maggieborek8499 Год назад +159

    I really like the 1st tip. I have a lot of anxiety around talking with people at work when it comes to confronting them about work issues. My thoughts take over, and I chicken out of communicating what is important to me. Thanks, Clark, for putting it in perspective for me 😊👍

  • @SeanLunny
    @SeanLunny Год назад +207

    Being authentic is always the best thing to do in any scenario

    • @lebronejhames7265
      @lebronejhames7265 Год назад +4

      Lol maybe 8/10 times 🤷‍♂️ gl tho

    • @loadapish
      @loadapish Год назад +2

      Until you realise nobody likes who you really are. Then what

    • @takla2129
      @takla2129 Год назад

      @@loadapishfuck their opinion on me, care only about what God thinks of me

    • @augustgirl2905
      @augustgirl2905 Год назад

      @@loadapishit isnt possible that nobody like who you REALLY are unless you are just an ahole, maybe your reputation is damaged, we like what is desired. Change spaces, an undervalued item can be a fan favorite in another market. Talk to people who values you and the rest will follow.

    • @lofisky4355
      @lofisky4355 Год назад

      @@loadapish8 billion people and no one likes you?

  • @danielw4796
    @danielw4796 Год назад +80

    I've always had problems with keeping eye contact. But then someone told me "Look at their eye color, notice if there's a difference between the eyes". It gives the mind something to do, it's not just staring... Works for me :)

    • @dream-nz9yb
      @dream-nz9yb Год назад +1

      I’m going to try this! Thanks for sharing

    • @lasvegasplease
      @lasvegasplease Год назад

      Vinnie Jones, of all people said, that if you look at one eye and not both of them, it makes it easier.

  • @Domzdream
    @Domzdream Год назад +20

    I had an appraisal today with the head boss, made lots of eye contact while engaging the other interviewer. Nailed it !

  • @RARochester
    @RARochester Год назад +2

    Just " don't care "; it's refreshing and the freedom you feel makes you standout.

  • @williamhedelin4602
    @williamhedelin4602 Год назад +15

    First time watching you Clark, and I must say that you are a great storyteller! Love how you talk about examples happening in your real life or something that you came across which captures our interest, to then later on connect that with a social skill. Keep it up brodie👊

  • @hlewis5217
    @hlewis5217 Год назад +5

    Also exercise and drink coffee. My confidence has been sky-rocketing ever since!

  • @twotonepatek
    @twotonepatek Год назад +3

    Never thought i'd see Superman open a RUclips channel!

  • @SR-hf3hx
    @SR-hf3hx Год назад +3

    It doesn't matter if they like you or not...you do need them to respect you for sure

  • @princeofpeace2915
    @princeofpeace2915 Год назад +12

    Another good tip is active listening in conversation. For instance when someone talks about something they like even though you may not be on the same page, mention it in your response and ask intentional questions about the subject that point to the interest and the person your talking it. It shows you really care what they are talking about and want to know more about them rather than saying “that’s cool and than moving on to another subject.”
    Also be sensitive to the conversation. Share the conversation. Don’t take over and do most the talking. Don’t dominate the conversation. Make it fair, share some of your thought and also leave room for them to share there thoughts. And most importantly ask questions. If they don’t ask back on your thoughts than I highly recommend you make room in your response with your thoughts so than you don’t feel drained. Not everyone has these social skills or awareness so don’t be a stranger to advocate for yourself by including your thoughts in your response just in case you talk to someone who lacks that social grace.

  • @DilCardyn
    @DilCardyn Год назад +24

    Our experience with tip number 4 really resonates with me, and I can relate to the struggle of accepting compliments and the realization that my "humility" was, in a way, a form of backward arrogance. It's interesting how sometimes what we perceive as humility can actually be a mask for insecurity or a fear of vulnerability. When I started forcing myself to accept compliments genuinely and simply say "thank you," I, too, felt exposed and vulnerable. It made me confront my ego and the discomfort of being seen and appreciated for my strengths. However, just like you, I recognized that this discomfort indicated an area for personal growth, much like a form of shadow work.

  • @johnpoprik1502
    @johnpoprik1502 Год назад +2

    Clark, you don't need to mess up twice. Most people will not notice if you mess up once, unless it's really bad. If I mess up and mention it when I come off stage, usually people will say, "really, I did notice."

  • @arricammarques1955
    @arricammarques1955 Год назад +1

    The art of caring less remains priceless.

  • @bonolosolomon
    @bonolosolomon Год назад +1

    Everytime I watch your videos I leave having learned something.

  • @merelymystic
    @merelymystic Год назад +10

    Needed this! I started noticing the past month that I don’t make much eye contact I look past someone or around the room. It was because I was more anxious. I’m now aware and have been trying to look at the eyes more . The only way I noticed this in myself was bc I was talking to someone who wouldn’t make eye contact and then it hit me I was the same .

  • @tripseven9912
    @tripseven9912 Год назад +3

    I have been trying to find a mentor for quite sometime now and man did you hit on everything I need to hear! thank you man.

  • @Patriotgirl1130
    @Patriotgirl1130 9 месяцев назад +1

    U deliver great content - glad I found u.
    Plus you’re easy to look at 😉

  • @thefilipinojoe
    @thefilipinojoe 5 месяцев назад +3

    Also, just because someone is wearing a name tag, don’t automatically start calling them by their first name. If you’ve not introduced yourself or been introduced, meaning that they know your name too, then it’s not normal and it comes across as weird and creepy. My brother always does this no matter where we go (🙄 thanks to taking the Dale Carnegie course in high school), and he has no idea how inappropriate and weird his behavior is.

  • @Domzdream
    @Domzdream Год назад +10

    It took me forever! To get used to taking compliments.
    I was always - yea thanks but it can still look better…..etc.
    Just say thank you. Return it with a likewise compliment. Extra brownie points.

  • @alphamorion4314
    @alphamorion4314 Год назад +13

    Regarding tip number 4. I used to be one of those people; in many ways I still am. But at one point I realized that my "humility" was being a sort of backwards arrogance: i found myself having a much harder time grappling with my ego when I started forcing myself to just... Accept the compliments. I realized that just accepting, and genuinely just saying "thank You" was making me feel vulnerable and somewhat "exposed", so I started forcing myself to doing it more and more. I though "Wow, if it is feeling so hard to do, then it must mean learning how to do it it's good for me.". Kinda like a shadow work thing, If that makes sense

  • @j4ames_guerrero
    @j4ames_guerrero Месяц назад

    This video was sooo good thanks man ❤

  • @cle_robin_an
    @cle_robin_an Год назад +3

    the biggest thing in communicating is sometimes having a goal to reach through the conversation good video:)

  • @debragassaway7786
    @debragassaway7786 Год назад +1

    My mom used to say learn to laugh at yourself. So if you have an embarrassing moment most times I just laugh with every one else. I don't feel they are judging me. More like saying ooh my! I've done that before.

  • @gavinvelayuthan9726
    @gavinvelayuthan9726 Год назад

    Clark. MY MAN always on point inspired by you. GAVIN FROM SOUTH AFRICA

  • @CaahAragao
    @CaahAragao Год назад +12

    Great video as always!! Thanks for the help 🤗

  • @Mr79Shahin
    @Mr79Shahin Год назад

    I’ve never been able to maintain eye contact. It has held me back all my life and has prohibited me from forming relationships.

  • @Προκείμενον
    @Προκείμενον Год назад +13

    It's basically about the dream life of people with social anxiety. Thanks for spreading those tips!

  • @jeanshelbybooks4154
    @jeanshelbybooks4154 Год назад +12

    This is so helpful for me personally, but also for my next story. There’s been something missing with one of my characters and your first tip is perfect! 😊

  • @morganwhite2176
    @morganwhite2176 Год назад +1

    For point number 1, I would be thinking ‘’If he thought that was bad, then cant wait to see him when he’s good!’

  • @worldeater1498
    @worldeater1498 Год назад +28

    “The eyes chico, they never lie”

  • @ishaat_plays
    @ishaat_plays Год назад +1

    Solitude, self love is the key to many love 😊❤️

  • @dameanvil
    @dameanvil 8 месяцев назад +5

    - [00:00] 🤝 Five social secrets to make people like you without being fake or manipulative.
    - [01:01] 🧠 Win the inner game: Overcoming self-doubt and internal chatter is key to better social interactions.
    - [02:38] 👁 Eye contact: Maintaining appropriate eye contact conveys confidence and engagement.
    - [04:28] 🤝 Highlight similarities: People are drawn to others with shared interests and experiences.
    - [05:47] 🙌 Accept compliments graciously to boost self-confidence and improve social interactions.
    - [07:10] 💖 Authenticity: Sharing authentic and vulnerable moments helps build trust and connections.

  • @johnnyweissmuller5838
    @johnnyweissmuller5838 Год назад +2

    As an alien lifeform trying to pass as human, this was really helpful

  • @johnmorganjr769
    @johnmorganjr769 3 месяца назад

    You utilize 'Candor' ,that's a major problem these days in the U.S. Many thanks. 🙏 👍

  • @Kevzult
    @Kevzult Год назад +11

    Good advice here. Having good social skills are definitely a must have in life and I know so many people that would benefit from this. A lot of people don’t even know that information like this is out there!

  • @Ninsidhe
    @Ninsidhe Год назад +18

    Unfortunately eye contact for Autistics and neurodivergent individuals is a major difficulty- I can *do* it but then all my focus goes into dealing with the eye contact and I have almost no ability to process what the individual is saying. Autistic culture, like the d/Deaf culture, has a whole different swathe of social and interactive cues.

  • @Candiceemry
    @Candiceemry Год назад +3

    Clark’s voice is so comforting

  • @beautygabriel6684
    @beautygabriel6684 Год назад +3

    True talk, you seem real to me and relatable. It's one of the reasons I like ya.

  • @aaronmatthew7280
    @aaronmatthew7280 Год назад +4

    Another great video! Can’t wait for the next one

  • @tulumconcierges88
    @tulumconcierges88 Год назад +6

    GREAT CONTENT! THANKS, CLARK!

  • @scofieldvisuals
    @scofieldvisuals Год назад

    Also when someone complements you you can tag on thank you for noticing (blank). And boomerang it back to them. This is what worked for me

  • @battletoads22
    @battletoads22 Год назад

    I quite like that first one. I'm guilty of spending way too much time in my head, and as a result, it does take me away from the social aspect. I'll try to remember this.

  • @obamas.7963
    @obamas.7963 Год назад +2

    I agree, Apple Store staff are very polite and friendly im a way your willingness to buy something increases

  • @Amorosa.x
    @Amorosa.x Год назад

    Do you have a podcast? I would defenitly listen to you for hours

  • @golvic1436
    @golvic1436 9 месяцев назад

    Eye contact is a tough one for me. I need to do it more beucase I get a ton of anxiety with eye contact. Need to get over it.

  • @zanedzikonski4234
    @zanedzikonski4234 Год назад +7

    Was with ya till you said that’s why celebrities share personal vulnerabilities. I see all celebrities as fake and figured they knew sharing vulnerability was a way to connect but that for them there is some sort of motive, agenda or manipulative programming going on. Perhaps I need therapy…or perhaps I’m right 🤓

  • @mgyulai1417
    @mgyulai1417 6 месяцев назад

    You keep bringing up hollow earth in your videos and it's one of my friend's special observation. And he is truly one of the most interesting person I know 😂

  • @bekind3050
    @bekind3050 Год назад

    Be KIND & GENEROUS. Everything will follow❤😊

  • @BrosciuttoJZ
    @BrosciuttoJZ Год назад

    Great advice! Also, I can't put my finger on it but this guy reminds me of some celebrity

  • @trainsandmodelshungary
    @trainsandmodelshungary Год назад +1

    Really helpful, thanks! Might incorporate this video into my English classes. 😍

  • @ashandwit
    @ashandwit Год назад +1

    I'm 55, and for whatever reason, at crucial (and non crucial) times, I've had off eye contact. It weakens that connection, and so I have been doing a "Michael Caine", where he said, "you stare at one eye, and do not blink, until you need: the power of maintaining that kind of eye contact is visible in film."

  • @tammybrantley6262
    @tammybrantley6262 Год назад +7

    I was a hairdresser for many years. I always kept the conversation on them. Asking about pets is a good one.

    • @wintersun398
      @wintersun398 Год назад

      do you have a good memory? If they told you they have a cat called whiskers, would you recall that the next time you cut their hair?

    • @DogsDirtandDandelions
      @DogsDirtandDandelions Год назад +1

      @@wintersun398 I would, remembered a lot of details about my customer base,especially their pets

    • @tammybrantley6262
      @tammybrantley6262 Год назад +1

      @@wintersun398 I do make notes on clients. Keeps the conversation flowing and they think I remember!

  • @71kkt
    @71kkt Год назад

    Loving your vibes...❤thanx again for another winner 🏆 🥇 🏅 👏 😉🙏🏻💯 💙

  • @Theasaurous
    @Theasaurous Год назад +1

    Always fun informative videos to watch! Love it! Also.....your eye contact lol.

  • @fre5711
    @fre5711 Год назад +1

    Nothing you say makes sense to me. All tips given, I hate when people do those things to me. I need to watch more of these videos it seems ;D

  • @Flo-sn7zv
    @Flo-sn7zv Год назад

    not saying it everything was groundbreaking and new to hear but i agreed with all points

  • @gerrycorona5071
    @gerrycorona5071 Год назад

    Glad to see you still have the Mustang :)

  • @VakarianArt
    @VakarianArt Год назад +2

    There must be something wrong with me. I've been following advice like this for two years, and I am constantly ghosted and rejected. Doesn't matter how authentic or direct I am. People just don't seem to be interested in keeping me around.

  • @dorisgardner-mccraw4723
    @dorisgardner-mccraw4723 Год назад +2

    When someone gives you a compliment, say thank you. To do otherwise you're calling them a liar. (Smile)

  • @marksantana295
    @marksantana295 Год назад +2

    Very empowering content, thank you!

  • @alexroman3288
    @alexroman3288 Год назад +1

    thank you for all the information, you are really helping a lot of people🙏

  • @Soundoushamamti
    @Soundoushamamti Год назад

    Be real to win the heart not just the game ❤

  • @alexbrunt2682
    @alexbrunt2682 Год назад +12

    The 'mess up twice' technique failed me! I was playing drum set in jazz combo and dropped both of my sticks. Not at the same time, but within the span of about 5 seconds. Dropped my right one, picked it up and recovered, then dropped the left one

    • @GenRN
      @GenRN Год назад +3

      If you only knew how to juggle.

  • @TrillOleg
    @TrillOleg Год назад +16

    Your a wise dude Ben Affleck.

  • @IsupportVehicles999
    @IsupportVehicles999 Год назад +1

    Nice advice bud!

  • @timbuktu8069
    @timbuktu8069 Год назад

    On compliments, whenever I hear a compliment my go to is: "What are they trying to sell?".

  • @giab4262
    @giab4262 Год назад +1

    Dude you're so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣
    You have me cracking up at every other words you say you are something else I love it 🕺🕺🎉🎉🎉

  • @AmazingNature365
    @AmazingNature365 Год назад +2

    Good vid

  • @eshetubizuneh6863
    @eshetubizuneh6863 Год назад +2

    You know you are great....this is from Ethiopia, the land of origin.

  • @dflorez1982
    @dflorez1982 Год назад +1

    Have a great week clark

  • @ukulele-covergirl
    @ukulele-covergirl Год назад +2

    I have vision problems and sometimes it Hurts to make eye contact. It's socially awkward for me. I'm not being rude. I just can't see you anyway.
    I do believe in giving compliments often. Even to complete strangers when deserved. They're all sincere. I don't waste precious time saying things I don't believe. 🌺

  • @sy_0071
    @sy_0071 Год назад

    Bro got the vibe subscribed ✅

  • @robertellis3915
    @robertellis3915 Год назад

    I work at Goodwill been doing the same duties for some 5 years. All they give me is part time..trying to stay focused on my job just tough I look out a window look at the sky think I rather be fishing

  • @eliadvo
    @eliadvo Год назад

    I really love, "mess up twice."

  • @АнтонЖеляпов-ъ3ю

    cool video, but as a non-native what I'm really grateful for it's the phrase "snooze fest" 😁 thx man

  • @keltecdan
    @keltecdan Год назад

    If I looked like this guy I would definitely have more success in attracting women. Let’s not kid ourselves being physically attractive helps out a lot.

  • @MoneyInvestHub
    @MoneyInvestHub Год назад +15

    Here are 5 secrets to enhance your social skills and make yourself more attractive to others. These techniques will help you to connect with people in a genuine way, without resorting to manipulation or insincerity. Charisma and likability are skills that can be learned, just like any other skill. Unfortunately, most people are not taught these skills, which is why so many struggle in this area. By incorporating these tips into your daily life, you can improve your interactions with everyone you meet and even climb the ladder at work. While there are dozens of tips and techniques,

  • @ACRUZ-xw9qe
    @ACRUZ-xw9qe Год назад +1

    This was great, thanks!

  • @JenMarco
    @JenMarco Год назад

    Great video!

  • @Teedo_Don
    @Teedo_Don Год назад

    Excellent video

  • @cj-gunn
    @cj-gunn Год назад +7

    You had me at "borderline drinking problem"

  • @RocketVet
    @RocketVet Год назад +3

    6:50 is so spot on.

  • @ButchNews
    @ButchNews Год назад +2

    Sheesh. Be yourself and know that EVERYONE is afraid of something and trying too hard will make you not be you. Don't talk too much, brush your teeth, smile a lot. And... if you are stuck for something to say, begin your words with the word "because". Humans seem to believe anything that follows that word. The eye contact thing is important. Don't look directly at the other person's eyes unless you are making a strong statement. Look in their direction but not directly in the eyes... except to make a point. Read the book "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. Available in every language.

    • @Babbelbet
      @Babbelbet Год назад

      .. if someone would look only in my direction but not in the eyes, I feel not importent or uninteresting to them.. like indeed, they only care about making their point.
      doesnt feel good at all

    • @ButchNews
      @ButchNews Год назад

      @Babbelbet I would suggest that it's up to you to make your life better... as in YOU make the move and THE LOOK... when they don't turn away from your looking at them. I met my boyfriend on the street by following him a bit to check him out then walked right up to him and asked if he would like to come home with me, smoke some good stuff and let me, ahem... do him. He said yes. I asked him to be my boyfriend the very next day with the terms... we ALWAYS sleep together at night and I don't want to know about other guys I know he might do things with. The worst that can happen is he says no.

  • @sophiaisabelle027
    @sophiaisabelle027 Год назад +2

    Thanks for sharing us this video. It really helps out a lot in self improvement.

  • @Kino1211
    @Kino1211 6 месяцев назад

    Great vid thanks.

  • @capiyulo
    @capiyulo Год назад

    I have been training to say: "Thank you" but last time someone called me "strong" I answered with: " medium strong" but that was an insult for the guy because we were lifting the same amount of weight. 🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @bill_jennings
    @bill_jennings Год назад +30

    I’m a big believer in eye contact and how you can sense the emotions of the person you’re speaking with. I tend to always look into their right eye more than their left. I have to make a conscious effort to switch from the right to the left, and I always unconsciously shift back to their right eye. I’ve always wondered why their right eye. Any ideas to why that might be?

    • @Jos_zi
      @Jos_zi Год назад +1

      Just habit😊

    • @bill_jennings
      @bill_jennings Год назад +1

      @@Jos_zi probably, but I believe all habits have there formational causes. Is it left brain or right brain dominance? I’m not sure. It’s clearly a preference but I can’t tell where it come from.

    • @sormdza3623
      @sormdza3623 Год назад +1

      @@bill_jennings maybe you were used to looking at people's right eye from start.I believe that's what it is but you may be right,it could be one of ur brain theory

    • @bill_jennings
      @bill_jennings Год назад

      @@sormdza3623 I'm curious....which eye do you prefer to look into?

    • @tooeasy1504
      @tooeasy1504 Год назад +1

      @@bill_jennings perhaps it's a learned behavior from when you were an infant or toddler

  • @robertwagner9265
    @robertwagner9265 Год назад +2

    One skill that is just as important as all these i'd say is listening and showing genuine interest. Talking about yourself too much can come across as self involved but people love to talk about themselves so if you let the person your interacting with talk and keep the momentum of their flow up it can be great for building a connection. I'd say i'm pretty good with the skills mentioned in this video but since I genuinely have ADHD (everyone claims they have nowadays) I can sometimes struggle to stay focused on something someone says if I don't have a particular interest in the subject.... Something i'm working on...

    • @notzox
      @notzox Год назад

      Same here! ADHD makes it hard to focus on anyone but I found that eye contact helped me maintain the flow and focus that I had in the conversation.

    • @robertwagner9265
      @robertwagner9265 Год назад

      Never had an issue with eye contact but then find myself half way through listening to someone telling me something for ten minutes since i've been nodding along etc only to realise i have no idea what they've just said and now i'm just thinking about not knowing what's going on 😅@@notzox

  • @zagrosqazy3798
    @zagrosqazy3798 Год назад

    Really good job

  • @RenePeraza
    @RenePeraza Год назад

    I think you meant 'uninteresed' in the small talk section. Disinterested refers to not having a vested interest in a matter, like a judge should be disinterested in the court case, letting justice be served fairly. Just helping out your great content!

  • @thexdeadpoolx
    @thexdeadpoolx Год назад

    Left eye when speaking with compassion. Right eye when speaking from authority.

  • @ratedbywomen
    @ratedbywomen Год назад +1

    Very very very good video!!!

  • @DanaWood-cc6fv
    @DanaWood-cc6fv Год назад

    Great informative video

  • @proteusblack8913
    @proteusblack8913 Год назад

    Thank you Ben Affleck. Loved you as Bruce Wayne.

  • @Yanke-p3c
    @Yanke-p3c Год назад

    This guy's a genius

  • @_Hyroken_
    @_Hyroken_ Год назад

    I don't know just how it happened,
    I let down my guard...
    Swore I'd never fall in love again but I fell hard.
    Guess I should have seen it coming, caught me by suprise...
    I wasn't looking where i was going, I fell into your eyes.
    You came into my crazy world like a cool and cleansing wave.
    Before I knew what hit me baby you were flowing through my veins...
    I'm addicted to you,
    Hooked on your love,
    Like a powerful drug
    I can't get enough of,
    Lost in your eyes,
    Drowning in blue Outta control,
    What can I do?
    I'm addicted to you!
    Midnight blows in through the window,
    Dances round the room...
    Got me hypnotized,
    I'm getting high on the perfume.
    I couldn't live without you now,
    Oh, I know I'd go insane,
    I wouldn't last one night alone baby,
    I couldn't stand the pain!
    I'm addicted to you!
    Hooked on your love,
    Like a powerful drug
    I can't get enough of,
    Lost in your eyes,
    Drowning in blue Outta control,
    What can I do?
    I'm addicted to you!
    What can I do?
    I'm addicted to you!
    xD
    Avicii - Addicted To You ft. Audra Mae

  • @vanessaLavey
    @vanessaLavey Год назад

    This is awesome! 😊